Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

               Oct. 16^th, 2019  

Headphones, on. Camera, on. X-box controller plugged in. OBS Studio, active. Steam, online. Double-click on Undertale. Wait until the music starts playing before pressing F4 and pressing the X button to skip the intro. The title screen flashes.

I’m in.

I curled up on my seat, feet tucked up underneath me, rocking slightly and pulling down my headphones to rest around my neck. The incessant buzz of the unpopulated underground on the menu screen was annoying and I would rather listen to the ticking of the overhead clock and the sound of my own thoughts than that sound.

Was I really ready to do this? The thought pulsed in my brain. Undertale was a new game to me. It had been out for years, but it had gone so mainstream that I hadn’t had much interest, especially since nothing I cared to look at would tell me exactly WHAT the game was about. But then I played it for my YouTube channel, and BOY what a ride! The fights, the music, and the characters especially. I loved it all! I knew a good game when I played one.

I also knew a growing obsession when I felt it, and this was close to being one. After finishing, I absorbed everything I could get my hands on pertaining to the game. Other gamers playing Undertale. Reaction compilations. Fan art. Fanfiction. Animations. Even a little dabbling in the AUs, but not much. It was the way I rolled in life, falling for obsession after obsession. Probably wasn’t healthy, but there it was.

And now here I sat, battling over emotion. The ‘True Reset’ button hung so tantalizingly in front of my eyes, right where the normal ‘Reset’ button used to be. With one push, everyone’s memories would fade away. Everything would go back to the way it had been at the very beginning, except…

Except this time instead of being their friend, I would murder them where they stood.

I pushed the button, watching the letters jiggle into lucidity: Name the Fallen Human. Slowly, deliberately, I typed in the name Chara and pressed enter. The true name, the game informed me. I knew this. It had been part of my information collection, learning everything I could find, including the identities of Frisk and Chara – a point that had confused me when I began, although Chara had been named Secret at the time. Now, with a new beginning, a new name seemed appropriate.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the tabletop, staring hard at the prompt to continue, all too aware that my camera was active and recording my every movement. “It’s just a game,” I said aloud. “Just a game.” Why was I so worried about this? So conflicted? It’s not as if I was actually murdering anyone. And it wasn’t as if I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I would be as frank with my viewers as I could: I had watched Jacksepticeye’s genocide playthrough run. I knew what I was doing. I knew what would happen.

Did that make it better? Or did that make it worse?

Why was I doing this? You may well ask. I was asking that myself. It wasn’t as if I was expecting to have a good time with this. I even knew I was going to have a BAD TIME™ with this. But a single random request on my YouTube page for me to take the plunge into the genocide route had swayed me toward the dark side. I didn’t get many views. The reason I had played Undertale in the first place was because I had too few views and wanted to play something popular to pique potential viewers’ interest. The knowledge that someone had taken an interest and wanted me to do something for them made me want to try, even if it was against every core of my being.

Okay, I thought to myself, sucking a deep breath in through my mouth and pulling my headphones back up again. I said it out loud just for good measure. “Okay. Here we go. Don’t think about it. Just do it.” I pulled the joystick to the right. It hovered over ‘Yes’ to the question ‘Do you Wish to Continue?’

Aaaaaand… now.

No, wait!

My mind went into refusal, even as I pressed the button. I lunged for the ESC key on the keyboard, hoping that maybe somehow I could crash the game before it reset. Hoping…

My entire body went numb. I felt as if I had been dusted and the dust swept into a hurricane, particles of my body swept up into the mind-boggling nothingness of eternity. Lights flashed before my nonexistent eyes and I heard snatches of what I could swear were words spoken in an inscrutable jumble. Everything was color and noise and motion, and then…

…I pulled air into my lungs, feeling as if I hadn’t breathed in a decade. You know when in movies people wake up from bad dreams and sit bolt upright, gasping? That’s what I did. My next action was to look around in confusion.

A LOT of confusion.

I was sitting in a patch of golden flowers in a cavern dark as night with a hole in the ceiling letting shady sunlight stream in. I could see the dust motes (or pollen, possibly) floating around in the light.

Getting my legs up under me was not a difficult task. Even though I felt somewhat shaky, I did not seem to be damaged in any capacity. I made my way out of the flower patch, trying delicately not to smash any of the flowers with my passing. I could see the imprint of my figure where I had been lying. The flowers had been crushed underneath my weight and slumped bedraggled in a human-shaped smoosh.

I would like to say that my first words after getting up were cool or clever or at the very least funny. But noooo. The least I can say for them is that they weren’t a scream or a sob. It was just a drawn-out “Uhhhh….” And then an “Mmmm.” Then, “Okay.”

Which, in my language, is interpreted to: “Alright, then. I guess I’m in Undertale now. HOW DID I GET IN BLEEPING UNDERTALE!!??!!?”

Yes, I bleep out my own thoughts. Thank you for noticing.

I tend to be a pretty analytical thinker, so before moving on I let my brain think of all the reasons I might have ended up here. Zip. Nada. I started wondering if the last thing I remembered was really the last thing that happened to me. It’s just paranoia, but my brain has jumped to that possibility before. Something was supposed to happen during the night, it didn’t, and suddenly I start wondering if I had gotten amnesia, and if what was supposed to happen actually HAD happened and I just couldn’t remember. It was the same here. I set the thought aside for later, not letting it go as a distinct possibility.

Was I any different? I checked myself. My glasses weren’t with me. This wasn’t a surprise, because I distinctly remembered putting them on the desktop beside me when I sat down and began recording. I always took my glasses off for my videos, not because I was self-conscious or anything, but because they were for distance and I could see my screen quite clearly without them. So that wasn’t strange, but the strange thing was that I could see without glasses no problem. I stared at the wall, at the dust (pollen?) motes, and the hole in the ceiling in turn, winking one eye after another. Crystal clear.

Add that to the list of weirdness and move on.

Nothing else had changed, I decided after further inspection. My headphones had disappeared with the rest of my previous life, but my clothes were unchanged. I still wore the sweater I had deemed my ‘Undertale Sweater’: the one I had donned in my first playthrough that looked somewhat like the one Frisk wore, except more blue, purple, and green stripes. I had put it on for this playthrough as well, and it seemed it had made it into the game with me. My pants too, I am thankful to add. My purity ring with the blue opal? Yeah, that was there too. No shoes, though. I only wore shoes in the house when I was going out somewhere. Only socks, becoming steadily colder as I stood on the stone floor.

Well, how was I supposed to know? I thought irritably. If I lived my life as if I was going to get sucked into a videogame, I would live my entire life with a backpack on, stuffed to the brink with necessities: a gun, a flashlight, several cartridges of Double A’s and bullets, maybe a sword in a sheath at my side and as much food as could conceivably fit into a backpack. And a towel, because reasons.

But I digressed, if only to myself.

Speaking of, was I the only one here? I craned my neck around with a little more enthusiasm. What if my family had gotten sucked in here with me? They were in the house, too! I had no idea how wide the spread was for the game. Maybe the whole street had been brought to Undertale!

Yeah, no, that was a ridiculous idea. But what about my family? None of them had played before. Could I protect them if it came down to it?

But there was no indication of anyone else but me being here and I forced myself to relax. Okay, I thought again. No way to figure out what’s happened except by moving forwards.

My mind still ran on as I walked down the long stretch of rock tunnel where my knowledge of the game reminded me I should go next. I suppose this is just like any other person-getting-trapped-a-game story, I thought. Just like Jumanji. Get to the end of the game. Pacifist, of course.

…I wonder if any of the other characters will appear up ahead?

I peeked through the door and flinched back out of sight. Oh man. Question answered. Ask and thou shalt receive. I winced, breathing deeply through my nose, pinching my mouth to one side. Flowey. Drat drat dratty drat drat drat. My quick glance had given me that much of an indication of what I was dealing with. No longer in pixel form, the cursed flower sat smiling among the green patch in the center of the next cavern, looking as innocent as a newborn baby.

No character in any videogame had ever pushed me to anger as much as that flower. Atlas in BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea part 2 had made me want to punch him in the face with a flaming fist and I’ve frequently wanted to slap Wheatley to his senses, but neither of them had gotten me to scream threats and want to kill them. Even if I did still press the ‘Mercy’ option when it offered to let me end him. Hardest moral dilemma of my life.

That flower was my ruin.

But here I was next to a door that would lead me right to him. I wondered if he could grab me if I sprinted past him and just kept running and a grin stole over my face at the prospect of Flowey starting to say, “Howdy, I’m Fl—” as I zoomed into the distance.

Best to play the game the right way, I decided. Wiping the grin off my face, I squared my shoulders and stepped through the doorway.

The part that made up Flowey’s face was big enough to be a sunflower, although the petals were smaller and his stem shorter. His eyes were curious, not at all like human’s eyes, but not strange enough to seem too abnormal. Both his eyes and his mouth seemed flat and 2D, like a CG character in a movie. He fluttered his leaves and I was surprised to hear his theme music strike up, echoing hollowly through the cavern, as I approached.

“Howdy!” The flower’s voice was high, like a kid’s voice, but not obnoxiously so. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower. Hmm,” and here he took a considering pause. “You’re new to the underground, aren’t’cha? Golly, you must be so confused.”

“I am a little bit,” I inserted. He wanted to play innocent, did he? Well, two could play at that game.

Flowey gave an even broader smile. “Well, someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do.”

I gave my biggest open-eyed innocent pleading look. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing something that your opponent doesn’t know. As in the ENTIRE FUTURE OF THE UNDERGROUND. Take that, you cheating, murderous blip of flora.

“Ready? Here we go!”

And then everything shifted as Fight Mode began.

The cavern seemed to flicker and the familiar ‘encounter’ tone rang as I dropped into Fight Mode. The stalactites hanging from the ceiling, the ground beneath my feet, practically everything except me and Flowey developed a grid-like texture like the background in the game. There were no buttons, sadly, and no handy list of options like in the actual game, but it all looked too similar for there to be any doubt. The area directly around me blackened and a shimmering white square appeared on the ground, stretching about three meters on either side of me. Lots of room for movement.

I also became aware of a rosy glow shining from my chest. Flowey seemed to have noticed it too, because he nodded in its direction. “See that?” he asked. The glow brightened and a heart rose out of my chest, spinning slowly before my eyes. “That is your soul, the very culmination of your being. Your soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV.”

He pronounced the two letters separately. I echoed them, tearing my eyes off my glowing chest as the heart sank back into place. “L-V?”

“LV!” Flowey repeated. “It stands for LOVE, of course! You want some LOVE, don’t you?”

“Ah… more than anything,” I stammered, still trying to keep up the innocent act.

“Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you,” said the flower. He gave a wink and something bright sparkled away into the air. Again, I think it might have been pollen. It was gone before I could see it. I only had enough time to stammer out a thanks before more bright shards filled the air, but these ones did not fade. The twirling, seedlike shards formed a crescent over Flowey’s head and I felt my heart give an extra thump.

“Down here, LOVE is shared through little white… friendliness pellets,” Flowey said very slowly as if he was just making up the word on the spot.

Oh sure they are. Oh sure, oh sure, oh SURE they are you rotten little depleted husk of a goat, I thought to myself, trying not to let my fear show in my eyes. But still, the so-called ‘Friendliness Pellets’ were far enough dispersed that I figured I could dodge them easily.

“Are you ready? Move around! Get as many as you can!” And with no further warning, all the little white seeds came flocking to me.

“Oh, drat. How clumsy of me! I missed all of them! I’m so sorry. Let me try again.”

That’s what I WANTED to say. That’s what I was PLANNING to say when I ‘conveniently’ misstepped and avoided the love coming my way. But that’s not what actually happened. See, although the pellets moved slow enough that I should have easily avoided them, I had stupidly not taken advantage of the time allotted for me to practice moving in Fight Mode. A thing that I instantly regretted.

Apparently moving in Fight Mode was a lot smoother than moving in real life. The heart-shaped red glow in my chest pulled me along faster than my feet could so I was not quite flying, or walking. More like gliding, but still using my legs. I felt like I could jump higher than I normally could, or I could achieve inconceivable hangtime before landing on the ground. Basically, it was Fight Mode in 3D. But, unfortunately, I had not grasped the hang of my own soul power and it drove me right into the first of Flowey’s oncoming bulle—I mean, Friendliness Pellets.

Right into their midst.

Hmm… how do I describe this? The feeling of having a bright white so-called Friendliness Pellet lodged in your soul? It’s a tough feeling to describe. Let’s just start with the bare basics and say that it hurt. Let’s flesh it out a little and say that it hurt a LOT. Even more? Okay. You know that feeling when you crick your neck the wrong way and it sends that weird numb pain feeling down your spine to the ends of your fingertips? It was kind of like that, except that instead of dying off to real pain, it bled away into an exhausted half-stupor that sucks your brain out of your ears, leaving them ringing. Oh, and there was more pain. Forgot to point that out.

HP: 1/20. I could see the numbers floating in the air off to my left as I fell to my knees.

I could practically feel the theoretical final strand of my life quaking against the tension of keeping me from slipping into the void of death as Flowey’s face contorted into a cruel grimace of delight. “You idiot.” His voice had changed, too. Or maybe that was just the numbness warping everything. “In this world, it’s KILL or BE killed. Why would anyone pass up an opportunity like this?”

Before I could even begin to think up a snarky comment, the entire room became alive with twirling pellets. You know in the game how there’s a circle that constricts around you? Well, since we’re talking 3D here, picture an entire dome of seeds, gradually getting closer, filling the air with the hum of their movement.

“DIE,” spat Flowey, and then began to laugh that high-pitched giggle that had made it into the game’s audio files. I lay down and curled in on myself as the seeds reached my head level. If only ONE seed had me knocking on death’s door, this armada would obliterate me ten times over!

Come on Toriel, come on Toriel, come on Toriel, come on Tori—

A white light bathed everything, there and gone with the speed of a lightning bolt, toasting the seeds where they flew. My HP counter read 20/20 again and my ears stopped buzzing. I had one look at Flowey’s baffled face before he was slapped out of place with a fireball, flying across the room with a yelp. He burrowed into the ground like the worm that he was and in the place he had once been stood the lovely goat lady herself, Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth,” Toriel cried, stepping forward (into the square, I may add) and taking my hand in her own paw.

“Woah,” was all I could say as I was helped to my feet.

Toriel was amazing. In the game she was cool, but here in person she was… amazing! There was no other way to describe it. Her horns were stately, her garb fine, but not overbearing. Even though her fangs were sharp, her smile was kind, and her eyes were as warm and welcoming as a hearth fire on a winter’s day. She was tall, far taller than I was, and might have been intimidating had she not looked down on me with such a tender look, as a mother would her child. Her mighty paw clasped my hand in a warm, comforting touch as Fight Mode faded back into regularity.

She smiled even more kindly as I gaped at her and said, “Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come here in a long time.”

“Well, thank you for your dedication,” I said, looking over at where Flowey had disappeared and trying to act as if this was not at all out of the ordinary. “If not for your help, that flower might have creamed me.”

“Things are not as safe as they might be here in the underground,” said Toriel, a displeased look on her face as she frowned at Flowey’s unoccupied space.

As much as I enjoyed hearing ‘unscripted’ dialogue from the characters, something about Toriel’s glare reminded me that the creature she had just smacked with a fireball had once been her son. I hated Flowey, I would be the first to admit that, and it sometimes distracted me from the fact that he was Asriel. Unlike some people who believed that Flowey and Asriel were both different people, or at least different personifications of Asriel, I knew they were the same. But I didn’t hate Asriel. I couldn’t. I understood him too much. After all, wasn’t I about to start a genocide just a few minutes prior? Even if I had been doing that before this whole thing turned into reality, I was still guilted into responding, “He’s gone, now, though,” and adding hastily, “Thank you so much for saving me.”

Crisis averted, Toriel turned back to me and smiled warmly, stooping and brushing back a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You are quite welcome, child. Come! I will guide you through the catacombs. This way.”

She dropped my hands and turned, and of course I followed.

I wonder how old she thinks I am, I thought. I could hardly be considered a child anymore, and even if my age was any indication, I didn’t think that I LOOKED like a child, anyway. Certainly not a young one. Young lady, maybe. Child? Um… no.

The Ruins stood before me as I followed Toriel, the entrance arching with elaborate broadness. In the game, their color was purple-pink, but here in real life it was more of a deep gray-purple. More realistic that way. Also more dusty, but I doubted it was monster dust.

Toriel mounted the staircase to the right with grace, picking up the hem of her dress (robe? Thing??) so it didn’t trail in the dirt. I prepared to follow, but the sight of a twinkling light distracted me.

Oh, right! The first Save Point! At least some things were consistent around here, I thought, reaching forward to brush my hand over the sparkle. There was no voice chanting about how the sight of the Ruins filled me with Determination, or any flavor text asking me to save, but the ‘Saving’ sound echoed in my head and I was filled with nothing other than pure, unfiltered Determination.

Let me tell you, it felt good. I let out a slow breath and allowed myself a tiny laugh. Even though Toriel had already healed me to maximum HP, I felt even better than before. Every nerve in my body was cheering, “We can do this!” and pure optimism ran through my veins. It was addictive, this Determination. I liked it.

But Toriel was waiting for me. I ran up the stairs, skipping every other step and joined her as she entered the next room.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

“The Ruins are full of puzzles,” Toriel started on her spiel, and I listened politely, looking around at the purple-gray walls, the creaky buttons, and the plaque resting on the wall. I didn’t speak, even after she solved the puzzle and exited the room, but I did glance at the stone plaque as I followed her out.

She treated me like she would have treated any child, I thought as I pulled the carefully labeled levers. Gentle and careful. A true motherly character. Even if I had fallen down covered in war paint she still would have been kind to me. She had a soothing aura around her, making every tone soft and bringing a smile to my face. Let me just reemphasize: Toriel was wonderful.

“As a human living in the underground, monsters may attack you,” Toriel said, jolting me out of my reverie. I found myself in a new corridor, a slightly dilapidated training dummy watching from a distance. Oh yeah, I thought with a weird lurch in my stomach. This part.

“You will need to be prepared for this,” continued the goat lady. “However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a Fight. While you are in a Fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict.”

“Yeah, b—”

I began to say that Toriel wouldn’t always be around to finish Fights for me, but then realized that that would be the wrong thing to say and shut my mouth.

“Hmm? What is it, my child?” Toriel turned those big, warm eyes down on me.

“Hhhhow do I stall?” I improvised.

Toriel smiled. “Try talking. I find that a friendly conversation almost always works.”

I shrugged, pinching my lips together in a straight line and raising my eyebrows. “Alrighty then.” And I stepped forward to meet the dummy.

The dummy. The only creature in Undertale I had ever eliminated because I hadn’t gotten the grasp of the controls yet. It didn’t count toward the Pacifist route, but I had gotten quite the scare when the Mad Dummy came up in the junkyard later. I learned afterward that it didn’t matter WHAT you did to the first dummy. Its cousin would hate you anyway.

Well, let’s see if I can change that, I thought as I entered the Fight Mode. It was still weird to think that I would have to go through all of Undertale – to be honest, I didn’t really want to think about that right now – but might as well be prepared. Toriel, inactive, stood mostly transparent behind me, giving a reassuring nod as I looked back at her.

Apparently some things were different when you were in the ‘menu’. Even though my soul still glowed, I wasn’t trapped inside a white box. Instead, I stood before the dummy, a few transparent options (note: options, not buttons) floating beneath it in a suggestive manner: ‘Check’ and ‘Talk’. The ‘Fight’ and ‘Mercy’ buttons were gone, but a stick had apparated into my right hand. Why a stick? I wondered, peering at it quizzically. Oh, right. My weapon. Better not swing it, then. Holding the stick as if it was a sleeping snake that might bite if jostled, I stepped up to the dummy, which looked as if it might just tip over on its own. I tipped my head, trying for a consoling smile. “Hey, I’m not all that much for conversation,” I started. “I just… thought that you looked nice today and wanted to say something about it. If you want, we could maybe hang out later? I don’t know when or where yet, but… does that sound nice to you at all?”

I suddenly felt a Napstablook-esque urge to add, “If you want to, you know. Only if you want to,” but repressed it. The dummy didn’t move, but Fight Mode faded out and I turned to see Toriel’s pleased face.

“Good!” she praised. “You are very good.”

Feeling somewhat proud of myself, I followed her through to the rest of the Ruins.

The next room or so happened almost exactly as it did in the game. Even though the rooms seemed much larger and it took longer to get from point A to B than it seemed on screen, the layout was all extremely familiar. There were no deviating hallways, although there were some suspicious enclaves that had not appeared through the screen, and it was always entertaining to look to the right where the player could never see. And, of course, just being with Toriel was always a delight. Apparently it took a little bit of coaxing for the characters to divert from their normal track. As fun as it was to prompt ‘unscripted’ dialogue, I’m not that skilled at starting conversations, as I said before, so I mostly let it play out as it went.

Room with squiggly on the floor, western room is the eastern room’s blueprint… this is so cool, I thought to myself. I zoned out a little bit, which is why the Froggit took me completely by surprise as it hopped out of a hole in the wall and launched me right into Fight Mode. Toriel had turned the corner and wasn’t in my sights, but I decided to go ahead and take care of the Froggit on my own.

The Froggit was actually kind of cute. It had a bewildered air around it, like an old man searching for the glasses on his forehead. The eyes on its face blinked, as did another pair hidden inside its chest cavity, and it cocked its head, croaking. The suggested options shimmered into view.

For Froggits, you complement, I recalled, and smiled brightly at the monster. “Hey,” I greeted, just like I would greet someone I happened to see somewhere – a little shyly, but with a big smile, “I just wanted to tell you that I love your complexion. It’s so smooth.”

The Froggit smiled back, swaying back and forth. Even though he was in black-and-white in Fight Mode, his cheeks seemed to glow a little. He croaked and dipped his head coyly.

Froggit doesn’t understand what I said, but he was flattered anyway, I thought.

Then Toriel came back and the Froggit edged away, back into its hole. I felt a little tremor go through me as I saw him go. Just a shiver. Probably from the cold. “You didn’t have to do that,” I told Toriel as Fight Mode disappeared. “He wasn’t going to hurt me.”

“Better to be safe than to be sorry, my child,” she said, turning and walking back around the corner.

“You do know I’m not actually a child, right?” I asked. Not to be rude, but I just wanted to know. “I mean, I would pretty much be considered an adult. In my culture. With humans, I mean.”

Toriel smiled and a soft laugh escaped her lips as she leaned back to look at me again, her eyes sparkling with merriment. “A child not in age, perhaps. But still much of a child remains in your heart and your eyes.”

I looked down. I didn’t know why, but something about this made it difficult to maintain eye contact with her. “Well, can’t argue with that logic,” I laughed.

Toriel motioned me forward and I joined her, peering out at the spike-laden trail. “This is the puzzle, but… Here, take my hand for a moment.”

The spikes, which seemed a lot longer and more lethal here in front of me, collapsed as Toriel stepped forward, leading me along the secret trail. Holding her hand, I felt much safer than I would have alone. Even with her fangs and claws, I could feel a reassuring aura emanating from her, telling me that, no matter what, everything was going to be alright.

Then the moment faded and Toriel dropped my hand. I was left with the warm sensation of her furry paw in mine and a feeling of slight disappointment as she turned away.

“You have done excellently thus far, my child,” Toriel said as we entered the corridor beyond the arching doorway, “however, I have a difficult request to ask of you.”

She turned and her eyes looked sorrowful. “I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself.” Toriel ducked her head, almost seeming ashamed. “Forgive me for this,” she murmured, then took off walking toward the opposite end of the room.

“It- it’s okay, really,” I half-called over the noise of the rapid music that sounded as soon as Toriel started moving. I followed after her with a slower pace, watching as she took a left and disappeared into a niche in the wall that closed up behind her.

So that’s how she got so far ahead of me in the game! I thought in realization. Confident that she would appear behind the pillar up ahead, I picked up the pace and began to trot, then to jog through the ruined corridor, careful not to trip on any creeping vines. The anxiety-inducing music spurred me on and I allowed it to fill me with… well, not Determination, but at least a rise in dopamine. I slowed to a halt as I reached the end of the corridor and Toriel moved out from behind the pillar.

“Greetings, my child.” I waved a hand in acknowledgement, breathing in deeply, but congratulating myself on not being more out of breath. “Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me.”

Sure, yeah, what’s not to trust a large goat monster lady who you’ve only seen in a video game? I kept this thought to myself and nodded, smiling.

“However, there was an important reason for this exercise: to test your independence.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, subsiding back into my innocent act.

“I must attend to some business and you must stay alone for a while,” Toriel answered, still looking a little guilty for leaving her innocent, defenseless, newfound child alone in a strange place. “Please remain here. It’s dangerous to explore by yourself.”

“I can fend for myself,” I assured her.

Toriel threw me a fond look, as if I had told her I was a conquering knight gone to slay a dragon. Maybe there were dragons in the underground, the random thought struck. I had never seen one, but maybe it was… I dunno… sleeping under Grillby’s or something.

Wait. I hadn’t put much thought into it, but Snowdin was after this area. And Waterfall after that! My eyes were suddenly opened to an entire world of Undertale and the characters I would get to meet. My stomach clenched at the thought of a familiar dark shape walking up behind me and a skeletal hand being stretched forth in greeting…

“I am sure you can,” Toriel answered with a laugh, jolting me from these speculations. I put them aside for later. “But it is better to be safe than sorry. The monsters who live in these ruins are not as tame as you might think, and they may try to harm you if you leave this room. I could not bear the thought of something happening to you.”

I was about to protest again, but Toriel put on a considering face and spoke before I had a chance. “I have an idea,” she said in a deciding voice. “I will give you a cell phone!”

“A cell phone?”

“Yes indeed!” Toriel dug into her pocket and produced an ancient black flip-phone that looked like it had been constructed in the dark ages. She handed it to me and I rubbed at the rusty places. “There. Now, if you have a need for anything, just call.”

“Okie dokie!” I hooked the cell onto my pants and squared my shoulders.

“Be good, alright?” Toriel requested, and with a final fond glance hurried out of the room.

“I be good,” I said into the nothingness surrounding me. “I be very good. I be the best.”

She’s never coming back, I thought, leaning against the pillar. That’s the way the game works. She tells you she’ll be back in a bit, but you eventually have to leave the room. It forces you out.

But she told me to stay, argued the ‘good girl’ part of me.

She also thinks that I’m a baby and I’ll have to leave anyway, I argued.

Just stay a minute more.

Alright. Just a minute more.

I settled myself beside the pillar, tapping my knees with my fingers.

A minute is a long time to wait by yourself. Even with the music of the Ruins – which had resumed as soon as Toriel had reappeared – it became apparent just how empty this place seemed without a companion. I was alright with it. I was an introvert, so it took me a loooong time to get exhausted by lack of company, but I felt a certain sting in my chest as I realized that Toriel existed in this loneliness, only breaking long enough when a child fell down to be brought back afresh when the child inevitably left. And the child would always leave to die.

Ouch. I grimaced in sudden sympathy for Toriel. Why could I never feel someone else’s feelings when they were in the room? They always had to be somewhere else so I could think about it, and then I would suddenly become an empath. It sucked.

When the minute was up, I peered into the next room. A Froggit blinked up at me complacently. I took a step closer to him, into the room, and my cell phone rang immediately. I unhooked the phone from my pants and held it up to my ear. “Hello? This is… the human speaking.” I winced, recalling that I never actually told Toriel my name.

“Hello, my child. This is Toriel.”

“I could have guessed! What can I do for you, Toriel?”

“You have not left the room, have you?”

I locked eyes guiltily with the Froggit. “I was just kind of peering out.”

“Oh dear, there are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try and solve them yourself.”

“I…”

“Be good, alright?”

Click. The line went dead.

“Great,” I said out loud, snapping the phone shut. “Thanks for the chat.”

“Ribbit, ribbit.”

I turned to look at the Froggit, hearing ‘ribbit’, but somehow understanding the meaning he was trying to convey. “Excuse me, human. I have some advice for you about battling monsters.”

“You do, do you?” I asked, taking another step forward and peering down at the frog-monster. It looked up at me with bulbous eyes.

“If you act a certain way or fight until you almost defeat them… they may not want to battle you anymore. If a monster does not want to fight you, please… use some mercy, human.”

“I will,” I answered with a smile. “Thank you.”

The Froggit ribbitted again and flushed slightly. I walked past him, distracted by the golden sparkle of a Save Point. I crinkled through the dried leaves to run my hand through it, gasping a little as the Determination ran through me. I rolled my shoulders, enjoying the sensation while it lasted.

I should try to reload, I decided while the Determination was still fresh. The Froggit, although appearing far from judging, was still a little too curious for comfort. I ducked past it into the candy bowl room, breathing deeply and trying to empty my mind.

Ever tried to empty a sink faucet? Yeah, emptying my mind is kind of on par with that. Nevertheless, I opted to try. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the cool purple-gray brick wall behind me, tipping my chin up to the ceiling. I pictured the last Save Point in my mind as clearly as I could.

Reload, I thought. Reload.

I tried to channel all my Determination into that desire. I tried to want it with every fiber of my being.

Reload. Reload.

Something snapped. I’m not sure what, but it did. Some cord of reality or something like that just decided it wanted to take a vacation and before I knew it, I stumbled, my eyes snapping open, leaves crinkling beneath my feet as the entire world bent to the will of my good self and the Save Point which gleamed innocently before me yet again.

I threw my hands up in the air and gave a hearty cheer. A moment later I became strikingly aware that the Froggit I had strived to avoid making any embarrassment in front of was now staring straight at me as I proceeded to make an embarrassment in front of him. I winced and reloaded again. No stumble this time. Proud of my accomplishment, I strode past the oblivious Froggit yet again, determined to seize upon some victory candy.

Even though I should probably have only taken one, I opted to snag two pieces of candy from the bowl. As I placed them into my pocket, the chirping sound indicated that the items had been added to my inventory. My pocket went flat as well, as if it was the entrance to a separate existence. Bigger on the inside, if you will. I pulled it open to see if that were the case, and the inventory screen popped into existence with a chime, hovering to the side like a mirage.

“Okay then,” I said out loud. I poked out a finger at the white letters spelling out ‘Monster Candy’. The inventory menu disappeared and I found myself holding the desired sweet in my hand. I replaced the candy into my pocket.

How do I get to my stats? I wondered. I knew I had a stick equipped as my weapon, so there must be a way to see that.  I decided that the first thing to try was tapping my chest above my heart, like in Jumanji. I was only slightly surprised when it worked and the menu screen opened up to my left, like with the inventory. Cool.

“Name: Chara,” I read aloud. “Weapon: Stick. Armor: Bandage. Wait, do I have a bandage on?” I examined myself. Yeah, actually. I had a bandage wrapped around my left arm under my sleeve. Weird.

I scanned the rest of the statistics, shrugging and putting it aside when I was done. Video game logic. How strange.

Another Save just in case and a Froggit fight later (in which he actually attacked me with his tiny white magic attacks!), I stepped up to the cracked area that spanned the room, keeping me from the exit. “Man, I wish I had Long-Fall Boots,” I muttered to myself. I stepped forward and prodded the cracking floor with my foot. It didn’t budge, but I heard a crumbling sound from below. I hissed in air between my teeth. I would need to step solidly on that floor to collapse it. Teeth gritted, I stepped.

The floor gave way and I, with a whoop, fell down into the room below. I landed on my feet in a surprisingly soft manner and stood upright, looking at the hole in the ceiling where I had descended from. Again, video game logic. It eludes me every time.

I took the farthest doorway and climbed the stairs and soon found myself rolling out through a narrow window slit back on track where I had been before. I blinked, shrugged, and moved on.

The phone rang.

“Hello?” I said, continuing to move while I talked, walking toward the rock in the center of the room and proceeding to push it onto the button.

“Hello. This is Toriel,” said the voice on the other side.

“Hey, Toriel! Wassup?”

“Oh, not a lot. I simply had a question. For no reason in particular, which do you prefer? Cinnamon or Butterscotch?”

“Just… in general? Uh… I like cinnamon. It goes with more things. I guess.”

“Oh, I see.” I could hear the smile in Toriel’s voice.

“Not that I dislike butterscotch,” I added, deciding it might be best cut off her next question at the quick. “They both have their time and their place, but… between the two, I would prefer to have my food flavored with cinnamon.”

“Ah, very good. Thank you very much.”

Click.

I put the phone back, wondering as I did what Toriel had against saying ‘goodbye’ before she hung up.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The rooms were a lot bigger and longer when it was me in the game and not looking through a screen, I came to realize. The phone Toriel had given me had a clock on it and I watched the time tick rapidly by. By the time I hit my next Save Point after the cheese that was stuck to the table – and yes, I tried wiggling it around to see if I could dislodge it – a full hour had passed. I had started recording at 7:00 PM, and had presumably been dumped into the game at the same time. Now it was 8:00 heading on 8:30. Even so, I wasn’t feeling tired. My excitement must have been carrying me over.

Walking into the next room, I became aware of a lumpy, transparent something that lay in the doorframe between rooms, right where I needed to get through. As I tiptoed closer, I could hear the thing say the letter ‘z’ over and over again in unconvincing slumber. The ‘z’s stopped just long enough for the thing to whisper to itself, “are they gone yet?” and open some kind of slot to peer at me through itself, then commence its ‘z’ing.

I would have considered this the weirdest thing I had seen all day, had I not just met the rock that talked like Rick the Adventure Sphere.

“Uh, hey!” I greeted it cheerfully but quietly, edging forward. The thing’s ‘z’ing became desperate. “Um, I hope you don’t mind, but… do you mind moving just a little bit so I can get through here? You can move right back afterwards.”

“nobody wants to talk to me. nobody cares,” the thing muttered to itself, curling up into an even tighter pillow shape.

This statement struck me to the heart. I tend to be very empathetic toward things like this, so I immediately said, “Hey,” and ventured to put my hand on it. This turned out to be like clicking the ‘move it with force’ option, because the thing gave a twitch and I was instantly sucked into a Fight.

The thing unfolded itself and hovered in front of me, looking much more ghostlike now that it had become less like a blob. The Ghost Fight music began to play, and I would have tapped my foot to the funky beat except that I was too busy looking at the Fight Mode settings unfolding all around me. The square I and my soul were trapped in took up the entire room – plenty of space to dodge around – and my HP was displayed in a solid yellow bar behind me. In front of me on the gridlike wall the name was tattooed: Napstablook. There was nothing else. Napstablook simply waited for me to make the first turn.

I made a strangled sort of sound that translated to “Uh,” or “Um” yet somehow sounded like neither. What exactly did I do in this circumstance? Froggits and Whimsuns were easy enough – I had encountered quite a few of those already – and their attacks only hurt a little… but this was the mini-boss of the ruins! And now that I was here, I couldn’t even remember the options for the actions! My weapon, the stick, had appeared in my hand when the Fight had started, and I clutched it a little tighter.

Something stirred in front of my vision, below where the ghost hovered. I blinked, squinting, as spectral letters swam into being, spelling out the suggestions from the game. “Cheer,” I mouthed to myself. ‘You give Napstablook a patient smile,’ the memory surfaced.

Napstablook was still waiting. I ripped my eyes away from the floating words, which dissipated as my gaze left them, and stepped forward, cocking my head and smiling encouragingly at the ghost. “Hey,” I greeted. My smile became bigger.

“heh,” responded Napstablook. Then their eyes squinched up and it began to cry. Its tears rained into the box I stood in, floating like they were little ghosts themselves. I had healed back up to 20 HP at the last checkpoint, but that number now seemed significantly low now that I was facing a challenging opponent such as this. I moved, sidestepping each of the tears, dodging in between them, trying to keep an eye on what was coming. I had learned in the Fights against several recurring Froggits and a couple Whimsuns that I could, in fact, float in midair when being attacked. My soul was buoyant enough to lift me completely off the ground. I could even flatten myself against the ceiling if I so chose. In this circumstance, I so chose.

The attack faded. It was my turn again.

Cheer.

“Are you alright?” I asked, getting ready for Napstablook’s next attack. “Is there anything I can do?”

The ghost dipped its head. Something shimmered beneath my feet and I did a weird little dance trying to avoid it, but it was just the transparent shine of words on the ground saying ‘Really not feeling up to it, sorry.’

“Well, drat,” I muttered to myself.

Wasn’t there something about saying a joke? Like, ‘You tell Napstablook a little joke’ or something like that? I wasn’t good at coming up with jokes on the spot. Sarcastic comments and lighthearted quips, maybe, but not when I was TOLD to. I decided to avoid this option and continue trying to cheer Napstablook in the way I knew best.

“There’s no reason to be so sad,” I told the gloomy ghost. “I’m not going to hurt you. We can… just talk, if you want. Or if you don’t want to… that’s fine, too! Whatever you want.”

“i’m fine, thanks,” said the ghost, but they seemed a little bit better than they had been a moment before. Or at least they straightened up a little bit more.

I shouldn’t have gotten distracted. One of their tears hit my soul and took off several Hit Points. I sucked in a breath and skidded away, clutching my chest. Napstablook’s turn ended and I took a moment to let the pain ebb away.

“Well, whatever you want, we can do that,” I said, making a point to smile as wide as possible. Was Napstablook a boy or a girl? My easily distracted mind begged the question. Honestly, I really couldn’t tell. Their voice was just the right reverberance that it erased any helpful hints, and the spectral blob that they were didn’t give any clues. Thus, I stuck with ‘they’ for a bit.

“i…” the ghost looked at me shyly. “Can i… sh-show you something?”

“Of course!” I exclaimed.

“let me try…”

The turn was Napstablook’s again, but instead of directing their magic toward me, their tears streamed upward, stitching and blending together into an unconstrained whole, merging into the form of a top hat, perched dramatically on their transparent head. “i call it… dapper blook,” the ghost said proudly. “do you like it?”

The turn came to me and I took no time at all telling them that I liked it very much. That it was amazing. Really neat.

“Oh gee…”

I wasn’t sure whether Napstablook was flattered or flustered by my response, but Fight Mode faded out and I was faced with the hatted ghost in reality once more. They lay back down as if trying to become even more transparent, their hat disappearing into nothingness. “i usually come to the Ruins because there’s nobody around,” they murmured, barely keeping eye contact with me, “but today i met somebody nice.”

“Hey, it’s no problem,” I said.

The ghost gave me a sideways glance and the smallest smile I’ve ever seen before dropping their eyes again. “Oh, sorry. i was rambling again, wasn’t i? i’ll get out of your way.”

With a waft of dusty-smelling wind, Napstablook faded away into invisibility, leaving me alone yet again. I breathed a sigh and marched on through the newly opened pathway, glancing through the corridor to the left before keeping on ahead.

I ended up buying a donut at the Spider Bake Sale. I slipped it into my inventory, making a mental note to save it for Muffet’s later on in the game. Just thinking about her fight made me uncomfortable, but I decided to save my worries until I was there. After all, a lot would happen before I would get to that point.

Now, there’s a bit more of the Ruins that I went through that you guys don’t really need to sit through, so just let me sum up some points that you might have questions about:

The Froggits in the room had the exact same dialogue as before. That means suggesting I pressed X to skip dialogue, talking about pressing F4 for a ‘Full Screen’, and making various fourth wall breaks that made absolutely no sense when I was in the game. They didn’t seem to understand me when I asked them to elaborate, so I had no answers from that end.

G, the currency of the underground, were little gold coins with the same letter inscribed on both faces. Spared enemies dropped them as they left Fight Mode and were stashed in a G inventory when I touched them. There seemed to be no way to get them out again once I had, unless I was buying something, but even then the number was automatically subtracted without touching a single coin.

Faded Ribbon? Heck yeah! I hadn’t found that in my original playthrough, but I remembered where it lay. Even though dropping through crumbling floor was still precarious to me, I dropped down and got the ribbon, tying my hair back with it. My bandage slithered out of my sleeve as soon as I put it on and as I held it, perplexed, a little info menu came up and told me, “It has already been used several times”, along with the stats. I put it in my inventory. No matter how large the item was, I only had to hold it up to my pocket before it disappeared. It was nice.

Did I die? No. No, not yet. I ate up both my pieces of monster candy when I was ambushed by a trio of monsters, but death was still lacking.

The colored switches puzzle was not as difficult as it seemed when I wasn’t on the other side of the screen. Instead of just having the colored switches being hidden, the ones on the ‘north’ side (the side that would be hidden if I was playing from beyond the fourth wall) were turned gray. Thus the puzzle element remained and it wasn’t as stupidly easy as I feared it would be.

Vegetoid. Yeah, I did kinda haveta eat his attacks. The green potatoes and carrots dissolved as soon as they hit my mouth and I could feel a strange dirty aftertaste in my mouth after the magic was gone, but it wasn’t bad!

It took me another hour and a half, making it around ten o’clock when I finally stumbled my way to Toriel’s house. Before taking the path straight to her cottage, I went the other direction and found the Toy Knife and an amazing view of the rest of the Ruins. I had no idea how to get down to it, but I could see multiple levels of Ruins layering down into the darkness. Looking up, I could see the blank cavern ceiling stretching like a textured canvas above my head, stalactites shining with moisture and sometimes sending a chance drip careening down into the hidden city below. Here and there I even spotted a Loox ambling about trying not to be picked on, or a Migosp looking for some alone time. They looked so tiny down there. I smiled as I turned away, exchanging my stick for the Toy Knife as a weapon, although I knew I would never use it.

I heard Toriel’s voice as her house came into view, mostly concealed behind an ancient tree, its majestic branches bare of all leaves. Toriel was murmuring as if to herself, “Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would,” and pulled out another old cell phone from the pocket of her robe. My own rang and she looked up in surprise, hurrying over to greet me.

“How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt?” she inquired, her eyes scanning me from now extremely grungy socks to hair. She stooped, tilting my head from side to side with her gentle paws, examining me for bruises. “There, there, I will heal you.”

“I’m not hurt that bad,” I insisted as her hands glowed green and my soul basked in the healing light.

“I should not have left you alone for so long,” Toriel said, looking irritated at herself. “It was irresponsible to try and surprise you like this.”

“Surprise me like what?” I knew what surprise, but it was still fun to see how she squirmed.

“Er… well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer.” She bit her lip a little and grinned. “Come, small one!”

Small one, I mused to myself, following Toriel to the house and taking advantage of the Save Point outside. I was average height – for a human female – so ‘small one’ had never been on my list of nicknames. I wondered if I had been clear enough with Toriel about what age I was. Did she think I was kidding when I said I would be considered an adult in my culture? Or was she just so mom-like that she didn’t care? Sure, I was small compared to her, but practically ANY human would be small with her as a comparison. Like I said before, the lady was enormous.

In the nicest way possible, of course.

The music changed as soon as I arrived inside, the soft lilt of the new track soothing my soul and effectively lightening my mood. The house’s interior was tidy, well aired for a place so far underground, and overall felt very homey.

“Do you smell that?” asked Toriel. I lifted up my nose and took a whiff.

“Yeah,” I exclaimed, taking an even deeper sniff of the scrumptiously sweet scent. “It smells delicious! What’s cooking?”

“Surprise!” Toriel burst out, seemingly unable to contain herself any longer. “It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival.”

“Wow!” I said, peeking to the left and trying to get a glimpse of where the heavenly smell was coming from. “Thank you so much! That’s… really thoughtful of you.”

“Oh, little one, it is nothing. I want you to have a nice time living here. So, I will hold off on snail pie for tonight.”

“Okay! I’d be willing to try it.”

I was sincere on that one. I’ve had escargot before, and it’s actually really good when prepared correctly, so snail pie wasn’t too much of a downer for me. The whole ‘living here’ thing, though… yeah. About that…

Drat, I was going to have to break her heart, wasn’t I?

“Here, I have another surprise for you.” Gesturing with a wave of her hand, Toriel ushered me to the right-hand hallway. In the game, it was a rather garish yellow. ‘To match my skin tone’ I had joked in my playthrough. But in this realistic setup, it was – although still a little TOO yellow for my taste – a more manageable shade of golden ochre. Not too harsh on the old eyeballs.

“This is it.” Toriel took my hand and led me to the first doorway on the left. There was a door on the right which immediately drew my attention – anything on the right drew my eye because it was unexplored territory – but I did my best to remain politely intrigued by Toriel’s gift. “A room of your own! I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will,” I replied as Toriel petted the top of my head, her warm hand a welcome weight. Her claws lightly tickled my scalp, sending a pleasing tingle down my back. I was almost disappointed when she stopped and hurried out to check on the pie. I in turn tiptoed to the mysterious door to check on its contents.

Turns out it was a bathroom. There wasn’t any toilet, which was really weird, but a Toriel-sized bath and shower, along with a towel cupboard, a sink, and a towel rack. The lack of toilet got me wondering why I didn’t feel the need to go even though several hours had passed, but I couldn’t come up with any satisfactory answers, so I just thanked my lucky stars – in whatever universe they might be – that I didn’t need to go.

My new room was very nice. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the semi-familiar surroundings. The walls were painted red – a fact I didn’t remember from the original game – and it seemed to be a monster thing to fill the room with furniture of the same color. Or maybe it wasn’t a monster thing. Maybe it was just a Toriel thing. Who knew?

I peeled of my now absolutely disgusting socks and lay them out on the floor, wondering if I should throw them in the shower or give them a burial in the trash can. They glared up at me in a bedraggled black-gray mass from the floor. I scowled back, unwilling to touch them again. With a sigh, I flopped backward, fully splaying myself on the bed, letting the darkness behind my eyelids consume me.

Why me?

The question, although it seemed petulant, was a sound one. Why me, indeed? Undertale had been out for almost five years at this point. Out of all the fans, many of whom had been there from the very beginning, many more who loved the game even more dearly than I did in my month or so of discovery… why…

Me?

Of all people, I was one of the most uninteresting candidates to be plopped down into a videogame. Of course, I had to be thankful that it wasn’t one of the more terrifying games (like a Five Nights at Freddy’s game) or one I knew nothing about, but still! If I had to be dropped into a videogame, I would honestly have expected one or both of the Portal games. Those were my loves. I was a fan of those. I wouldn’t even NEED save files to survive those since I knew them top to bottom. I could unquestioningly call myself a fan of Portal. But Undertale? I was in a fleeting romance with this game. I had played it once and gotten one of many endings. I couldn’t even choose between Sans and Papyrus as my favorite character. I mispronounced the name Papyrus half the time, for goodness sake! I called him Pap’rus during my playthrough and I still couldn’t get out of the habit now.

The Undertale fandom was renowned for being insane. Out of all that insanity, why pick silly old me?

I groaned, bringing my hands up to my face, rubbing at my eyes. “Adventures make one late for dinner,” I mumbled, because of all characters in anything, I most resembled Bilbo Baggins. And who knew what kind of a Gandalf had just shoved me out the door, but there was now an adventure ahead of me and no way back.

Only forward.

It usually takes me awhile to fall asleep, but whatever videogame logic held me in its sway also determined how quickly I dropped off. Which is to say, like a stone. I was out like a light before I knew what hit me. It was a dreamless sleep, and for that I was extremely grateful.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

I have to admit that when I opened my eyes I expected to see the comforts of home. Thankfully, I am not the kind of person who gets easily confused by their surroundings when they wake up in a strange place or else I would have been in a world of trouble. I was awake for .05 seconds before realizing, oh, right, I was in Undertale, and then another second or so to think, so this wasn’t all a dream after all and sigh over what had happened to make my life so weird.

What time was it? I shuffled beneath my blankets (blankets? Yeah, blankets. Toriel must’ve tucked me in after I fell asleep) and pulled out my cell phone, wincing about how I had had it on me while I slept. My mom was big on not having electronics near you while sleeping because of radiation. Maybe monster electronics didn’t have radiation, I mused, flipping the phone open. That would be helpful.

The time was 8:37 AM. A decent time. It was still dark in the room, but since this was underground and the lights were off, that wasn’t a big surprise. I pushed off the covers and turned on the light, being careful to not step on the butterscotch pie that Toriel had left on the floor for me and enjoying the transition from the musicbox theme to its original sound.

Toriel had left some other gifts for me, it seemed. Along with the pie (complete with fork and plate), a clean pair of soft white socks lay neatly on the floor along with a pair of brown leather boots that looked like my size. I put the pie slice on the bed for the moment and pulled on the socks. They were not mine – mine had probably been shot in a field somewhere for indecency – but they fit fairly well. Just a little loose around the toes. The boots as well were obviously not tailored to my measurements, but I wasn’t one to complain. They seemed well-worn and I tried to think of which of the previous seven souls had worn these. The green soul, maybe? Not blue. Blue wore ballet slippers. I doubted the yellow soul wore anything but cowboy boots.

I brushed the question aside and turned to the pie. It was a healing item, so it probably should be saved, the more logical side of my brain reasoned.

But it looked so goooooood! The hungry part of my brain was insistent.

What if I saved, ate it, and then reloaded? That way I’d be able to enjoy the pie, but I’d still have the healing item.

But no. Then I would still be hungry.

Maybe Toriel will give me another piece, I thought. Giving a nod, I stashed the pie inside my inventory (meaning the pie and plate, but not the fork) and went to wash up in the bathroom. I was still grimy from the previous day and the amount of dirt that came off on the washcloth made me ashamed for sleeping in a clean bed. Doubtless Toriel would have let me use her shower, but I didn’t want to take that much advantage of her hospitality, especially since I would have to leave soon.

Drat it, how was I going to do this? I wondered, examining my face in the mirror which hung above the sink. At least I didn’t look any different. Or… at least not that much different. Was my skin tone always that yellow? Was it the lighting?

My hair was unchanged. I brushed it with a nearby hairbrush and retied the Faded Ribbon into a small bow, letting it peek of my newly groomed thatch. I didn’t like ponytails. Who knew why. A bow in my hair seemed more preferable, even if it looked somewhat stupid. Armor was armor, even if it was stupid looking.

Feeling much cleaner, I exited the bathroom and headed toward the living room, ducking outside for a moment to resave. As I entered the room I could hear the swish of pages being turned and the crackle of a fireplace. Toriel looked up with a smile as I approached. “Good morning!” I greeted her, looking at the homey setting.

“Good morning, my child,” she responded, her smile broadening. I loved the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy. I felt another pang for what I was going to have to do.

“I was wondering if I could have another slice of pie. Is there any left over?”

If Toriel was wondering where the plate had gone and why my fork was completely clean, she made no indication. “Of course!” She sounded absolutely delighted. “The rest of the pie is on the counter in the kitchen. Please, help yourself to anything you want!”

I thanked her and headed toward the pie. It was larger than most pies I had seen – with good reason, I decided. Toriel was larger than most cooks I had seen – and I began scavenging for a way to cut off a slice.

Where are the Knives?

The thought came starkly to my mind and I winced. That was a genocide run thought. The more I went through, the worse I felt for what I had almost done. If I had known, of course I wouldn’t have… I… how could I have known?

Well, I knew now. I pushed the thoughts away and gave up on the knife search, instead opting for using my toy knife to cut through the soft butterscotch/cinnamon stuff and hacking through the crust with my fork. When the piece – looking slightly worse for wear – was finally free, I brought out a plate and coaxed it on. “Hey, Toriel? Would you like a piece?” I called into the other room.

“Oh, no thank you, my child,” she called back. “I had a slice earlier. But thank you for being so polite.”

“Of course!”

I washed off my Toy Knife and dropped it back into my inventory, taking up my fork instead and bringing my punished pie slice into the living room. I pulled out a chair on the far end of the table – stage right if you were looking through the screen – and took my first bite of pie.

It was heavenly. The taste of butterscotch, sweet and slightly salty, blended perfectly with the rich taste of the cinnamon. I could also taste some other spices as well: nutmeg, for one, and others I recognized but couldn’t name. Monster food was interesting in that most of it dissolved in your mouth while you were chewing so that even if you took a full mouthful, you would swallow far less. It made the pie feel more along the consistency of a pastry. I guessed that was what happened when food was partially made of magic.

“Toriel,” I said, gaining her attention once more. “I have to say, not a fan of pie normally, but this pie…” I brought my hand up, my thumb and index finger lightly touching. “Divine.”

Toriel laughed. “Why, thank you, my child! I can show you how to bake one yourself later.”

“I would love that,” I answered before realizing, oh, wait, I wasn’t going to be around for that much longer.

Toriel smiled and turned back to her book, humming under her breath. Another mouthful of pie later, I realized that she was humming the tune that was playing all around us. Before my brain could say that maybe this was a bad idea, I blurted, “You can hear the music, too?”

Toriel looked up, surprised. “Music?”

I felt very stupid. “Um… you know, the…” I hummed along with the tune.

Toriel laughed. “Oh, that music. Of course I do. That song always plays here, even if other songs play throughout the Ruins.”

“Oh, okay.” Feeling somewhat assuaged, I added, “Don’t you ever get tired of the same song over and over again?”

“Oh, no. It changes every so often, depending on what mood I’m in or what season it is.”

“Really?” I asked, leaning forward, intrigued. “Do you force it, or does it just happen?”

Although she looked far from irritated at my question, Toriel appeared just a bit bemused. “Dear, isn’t it the same where you come from?”

Was it the same on the surface? It was a gamble to say it wasn’t. “N… not exactly,” I stammered.

Toriel shook her head, a smile pricking the corners of her mouth. “You are a very strange child, are you not?”

I chuckled, scooping off another pie chunk. “So I’ve been told.”

“Mmm.”

She locked her eyes on me, softly smiling. I gulped down my bite and gestured toward her neglected book. “Uh… what’cha reading? Is it good?”

“Oh,” Toriel, successfully distracted, closed the book around her finger to save the place and showed me the cover. “It’s called 72 Uses for Snails. Would you like to hear an exciting snail fact?”

I laughed outright. “Sure!”

“Did you know that snails…” she paused and scanned the page with her finger, “…make terrible shoelaces?”

I sniggered. “I could’ve guessed!”

“Ah, but did you also know that they are bad at sharing?”

“Bad at sharing?”

“Because they’re so SHELL-fish!”

Toriel burst out laughing at her own joke and I leaned over, groaning. “Oh man, no!” This only made Toriel laugh the harder. “Drat, you’re like my sister! She likes making horrible puns and bad jokes. Especially food related ones. She just blurts them out at the dinner table. It’s horrible.”

Toriel stopped giggling and peered at me through her glasses, a new look in her eye. “Your… sister?”

“Yeah. My sister Julia. I have three sisters, all younger than me. The other two are Natalie and Sophie.” My heart cried to stop there, but I pressed onward. I didn’t mean to start this, but I couldn’t stop now. “Then, of course, my mom and dad. And we have a dog. Shadow. At my house…”

“Ah.” Toriel seemed at a loss on how to continue. She almost looked frightened. “Um… I just… I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share.” Her voice quavered. “I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education.”

I slowly put down my fork and Toriel looked away, continuing doggedly onwards. “This may come as a surprise to you… but I have always wanted to be a teacher. Actually, perhaps that isn’t very surprising. STILL,” she gulped a little bit, seeing that I had become very still. My stomach churned. “I… I am glad to have you living here.”

“Toriel,” I murmured. I could barely hear my own voice over the crackle of the fire.

“Um… how about another exciting snail fact?” She fumbled with the book and I rose from my seat, abandoning my half-eaten pie to stand beside her chair.

“Toriel,” I repeated. I could see her glasses tremble on her snout. She avoided my eyes. “How do I exit the Ruins?”

Her hands shook and I saw her jaw clench. Still pointedly looking away, she closed the book and stood upright. “I have to do something,” she said. “Stay here.” Putting the book on a nearby bookshelf, Toriel left the room.

I felt bad. I felt really, really bad for ruining the quiet companionship we had been sharing just a moment before. Why did I have to ruin everything right now? Why couldn’t I have stayed a few days first?

No. I had to finish the game. I had to get home. I had been working under the assumption that when I popped back into my own world no time would have passed, like Narnia, but really, how could I know for sure? I had to get home, and the sooner the better. I couldn’t let my real family worry over me if both worlds worked in a parallel timestream. Not if I could help it.

Shoving the rest of the piecrust in my mouth, I took my plate and fork to the kitchen and put them in the sink. I was a houseguest, not a resident, and as such I wanted to leave the house in decent condition. I would have washed the dishes as well, but I didn’t want to waste any time. I Saved one last time, clinging onto the feeling of Determination as I plunged down the stairs and into the basement. The music cut out abruptly as the walls closed in.

“Toriel,” I said as the ex-queen’s broad back appeared before me.

“You wish to know how to return ‘home’, do you not?” Her voice was quiet. Cold. “Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the underground. I am going to destroy it.”

“Toriel.” Now it was a plea. She thrust out a hand as if to warn me away. I couldn’t see her face. I wondered if she was crying.

“No one will ever be able to leave again. Now… be a good child and go upstairs.”

She strode onward. Her legs were far longer than mine and she moved at a decent pace, easily outstripping me. I trotted after her, dreading what would happen next.

“Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again.” She didn’t stop walking, even as I caught up just behind her. “They come. They leave. They die.” There was a finality in her words even as she slowed, turning to look at me for the first time. Her eyes were dimmed with tears. “You naïve child…” her voice choked. “If you leave the Ruins, they…” she paused. “Asgore… will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand?” Desperation rose in her voice, but I clenched my jaw.

“I don’t need protecting, Toriel.”

Her eyes flashed, but all she said was, “Go to your room.” And she continued on.

I hesitated, but I followed.

“Do not try to stop me.” She did not falter, her eyes fixed straight ahead. “This is your final warning.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered so softly I doubt she heard. “I’m sorry, but I need to keep going.”

When I caught up with her again, she was at the door. She was holding a paw up against the engraved Delta Rune, tracing a claw along its ‘wing’. “You want to leave so badly?” Her voice reverberated in the close corridor, which was starkly bare of music. “Hmph.” It was almost a laugh, but not quite. “You are just like the others.”

“I’m not like the others,” I insisted.

“Then prove it,” she hissed, whirling around. Her robe flapped against her knees and her eyes were alight with fervor. “There is only one solution to this. Prove to me you are strong enough to survive.”

The room flickered and subsided into Fight Mode. The music kicked up, the walls thrumming with its sound. I could almost feel the sound reverberating in my arms and chest, far deeper and stronger than it could ever be in the game, but not loud enough to block out any words we might say to each other. Toriel’s eyes burned straight through me. It was my turn.

“I don’t want to fight you,” I told her. The square closed in. Her turn now.

Toriel closed her eyes, leaning forward on her right foot. She thrust out both arms and fireballs began to dance from her fingers, luminous and white and very, very dangerous. I began to dodge them, trying to get into the sway. They flickered, confusing my eyes, rippling and pulsing. One hit me in the side, taking off several Hit Points. I hissed.

“I’m not going to fight you, Toriel.”

Two white hands appeared in opposite corners of the box, coming toward me. I ducked in a sheltered area. They missed. Toriel still said nothing.

I tossed the Toy Knife aside. “I’m not going to fight you!”

Toriel took a shuddering breath, but still her fireballs came thick and fast. I took another hit. The knife reappeared in my hand at the beginning of my turn, but I tossed it aside again, insisting that I wasn’t going to fight her.

“What are you doing?” Toriel demanded at last.

“I’m not going to fight you, that’s what I’m doing!” I gasped, trying my best to avoid the oncoming attacks.

“Attack or run away!”

“Neither!” Another fireball had me groaning, the pain of my soul being attacked zinging up into my ears. I was down to 4 HP, but I only had the pie and the spider donut. I had wasted the spider donut during this battle before. I wasn’t going to do it again. And the pie? It seemed a shame to eat it so early on.

“What are you proving this way?” Toriel demanded. I avoided all attacks this turn.

“I’m proving that it doesn’t have to be this way,” I insisted, making sure my bow was still in my hair and turning to face Toriel yet again. I tossed the knife aside. “I can win against them without becoming them.”

Toriel’s eye twitched, but she still looked aloof. “Fight me, or leave,” she hissed.

I was down to 2 HP, but I still threw my knife aside. “No,” I said.

“Stop it.” Her attacks went around me. In front of me I could see Toriel trembling, but her fire went around me. My heart was bleeding, but still I stood. I threw the knife away, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have to. The ex-queen and I locked eyes.

“Stop looking at me that way.”

Still her attacks missed.

“Go away!”

“No,” I whispered. Her fireballs were even more dispersed now.

Toriel looked away for her next two turns, her eyes becoming gradually less fiery and more woeful. I ached for her. Maybe it was because my soul was down to 2 friggn’ HP, but it ached so badly to see her so sad and so lonely. Her only company was a mysterious voice through a door once a day, and she had been so happy – so happy! – just a few moments ago. I hated myself for hurting her, even as she fought to keep me safe.

“I know you want to go home, but…”

Her attacks stopped. I dropped the knife, not even bothering to toss it away.

“But please… go upstairs now.”

I dropped the knife, shaking my head.

“I promise I will take good care of you here.”

She was smiling. I shook my head. I dropped the knife.

“I know we do not have much, but…”

Drop the knife.

“We could have a good life here.”

“Toriel.” The word was but a breath of wind between my lips.

She looked away. “Why are you making this so difficult?”

Drop the knife.

“Please, go upstairs.”

Shake my head. Drop the knife.

She was silent. I dropped the knife twice more.

“Ha ha,” she laughed, not a shred of happiness in her tone. “Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child.”

“You don’t need to save me, Toriel,” I said. My voice seemed weak in comparison to hers. She was silent again, her head bowed, but she raised it again, her tone quiet. Defeated.

“No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this.”

I let out a shudder of breath. It was over. It was done. My knees suddenly felt very shaky beneath me and I stumbled backward a half step.

“My expectation,” Toriel continued, “my loneliness… my fear… For you, my child, I will put them aside.”

Fight Mode faded out and I shivered, folding my arms together, suddenly feeling very cold. A memory surfaced in my mind, garish and horrible, of Toriel with a slash across her chest, eyes closing for the last time, her gray soul rising for a second from her ashes before shattering with an echo. That was what might have happened, once upon a time, I thought, but the vision was too unnerving to dwell upon for long.

Toriel was alive before me, even though her face was turned aside. “If you truly wish to leave the Ruins,” she said, “I will not stop you. However, when you leave… please do not come back. I hope you understand.”

I nodded. “I do.”

Toriel turned back to me and her eyes glistened with tears. She stepped forward, kneeling and wrapping her arms around me, enveloping me in a tight, loving embrace. I hugged her around her neck, my hands feeling the smoothness of her horns, the softness of her ears, and the thick comfort of her dress. My heart still ached.

“Goodbye, my child,” she whispered in my ear as she rose. She smiled, then, and it was a proud smile despite her tears. Toriel had been a queen, once, and some of her queenly poise remained as she walked past me, head held high. She turned back once before exiting the room and I raised my hand in farewell, unable to speak but hoping that my smile was somehow enough. A final glance of longing and Toriel was gone, her footsteps fading into darkness.

She thought I was leaving to die, I realized, gazing at the place where she had stood. She thought I would never see her again.

Well, shows what she knows, I thought brusquely, trying to clear the lump in my throat and heading for the door. We would see each other again at the pacifist ending when she slapped her ex-husband across the room. Just wait and see.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

The next hallway was long. Even though I was not physically harmed, having a soul down to 2 HP was not comfortable. How did Sans fare with a maximum of 1 Hit Point only? No wonder he was so tired all the time.

I had plenty of time to think as I walked, taking deep breaths and letting my sorrows fade. By the time I reached the room at the end, my sadness had died down enough that I was merely feeling quiet when faced by Flowey again. He turned as if to greet an expected friend.

“Clever,” he remarked. “Verrryyy clever. You think you’re really smart, don’t you?”

“Actually, I do,” I said, crossing my arms again. The flower snorted.

“Don’t get so cocky. In this world, it’s kill or be killed. So, you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person.” He giggled. “I bet you feel really great. You didn’t kill anybody this time. But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?”

I was going to answer, but Flowey just kept going.

“You’ll die and you’ll die and you’ll die.” He seemed extremely pleased with this prospect. “Until you tire of trying.”

“Not going to happen,” I said. Flowey looked amused. I took a step forward, hoping that my height was at least somewhat intimidating. “It’s not ‘Kill or Be Killed’, and I can prove it. Just you wait.”

“Ohhh, poor, naïve little human.” Flowey’s sappy, high-pitched voice was really getting to me. “You really don’t know anything, do you? I’ve seen it all before. You’ll give up eventually. Frustration gets to all of us. What will you do, then? Will you give up entirely on this world and let ME inherit the power to control it?”

I snorted. “Not a chance.”

“Silly human. I am the prince of this world’s future.” He grinned even larger, his 2D mouth expanding, dripping, growing sharp teeth. “Don’t worry, little monarch. My plan isn’t regicide. My plan is SO much more interesting.”

Even though I had heard this spiel before, his appearance IRL was getting really unnerving. I took a step back. His entire inner section bubbled out, taking a form like a skull and laughing like a maniac. Hello my new nightmare, I thought as it subsided, looking pleased at my expression. Flowey popped back into the ground, leaving me alone in the cavernous room with only the sound of my breathing to comfort me.

I shuddered, giving the grassy patch Flowey had sat in a wide berth as I passed.

“That’s a wonderful idea!”

I looked back as I reached the doorway, but the sound byte had only been in my mind. I shook my head and pushed through the doorway. Everything went black around me as if I had my eyes closed and the words UNDERTALE appeared in front as if I was playing the game again. Then everything faded back into place and I stood halfway out the door, peering out into the forest of Snowdin.

I let out a slow breath of air and stepped out into the snow, mentally thanking Toriel for her contribution of boots. The door closed behind me, settling into place with a sound of stone on stone. I breathed out, seeing the white mist of my breath spiral off into the forest. To my left I could see the glimmer of a camera inside a bush. I tipped it up to let Alphys – who was no doubt watching – to see my face. I even smiled a little bit. Hopefully I didn’t scare her too badly. Then I turned my attention to the path, squared my shoulders, tucked my hands under my crossed arms, and marched on.

 It was eerie out here. There was no music but a weird humming undertone that made a chill go up my spine. I clicked my teeth together behind closed lips as I plowed through the snow, trying to do at least something to ward off the unease. It was much darker here than I would think. Well, of course it would be. I was inside a mountain, for goodness sake. But it never really occurred to me just how dark it would be. It seemed much brighter when it was on the other side of the screen. I peered upward to see if I could spot the cavern ceiling, but a thick mist hung over it, making it seem as if I was outside on a wintery night.

At least it’s not snowing, I thought, stepping over a thick stick without thinking. It could always be worse.

Snap.

I swiveled around. The stick I had just stepped over – stick? More like a small log – had been smashed into splinters. Crushed, not just broken in half. Even though I knew who had done such a thing, I still felt a lurch in my gut. “Hooooooo boy,” I whispered shrilly to myself, looking around for the culprit. Finding nothing, I turned back around, almost expecting to bump right into Sans. I didn’t. I moved on.

Now the darkness seemed even more oppressive. I kept looking behind me, scared that one of these times I’d see a skull grinning right behind me. If you jumpscare me, Sans, I can’t be responsible for what happens, I thought, trying to move just a little faster. I thought I saw a shadow in the trees to my left. I kept hearing noises. Were these all Sans or just my imagination? I bit my lip and hurried forward, clinging onto every shred of determination I could. I felt pure relief surge through my veins when the wide wooden bars of Papyrus’s gate loomed before me. I jogged the rest of the way to them.

Shoof, shoof, shoof.

I stopped moving. Those weren’t my footsteps. My stomach twisted. This was it. This was really it. I could feel a presence moving behind me, but I was frozen where I stood.

Shoof, shoof, sh—

He had stopped. I could feel him right behind me. My arms were stiff by my sides, but had I wanted to reach out behind me, I could have touched him.

“H u m a n.”

I felt the words rather than heard them, as if they were echoing around in my skull. Deliberate, quiet words, spoken in a deep, slow voice.

“D o n ‘ t   y o u   k n o w   h o w   t o   g r e e t   a   n e w   p a l?”

I stopped breathing. I stopped doing anything. My life was in slow motion now.

“T u r n   a r o u n d,” the voice commanded, “a n d   s h a k e   m y   h a n d.”

Now, there’s one thing you should know about me. I hate haunted houses. If you’re wondering what that has to do with anything, let me explain: it means that I don’t appreciate in-your-face creepiness. I hate animatronics. I don’t want to go near anything that might potentially grab me. Mannequins that might move freak me out. Now, I had been in the Underground for several hours now. I had seen several monsters, but none of them were deliberately trying to be spooky.

I knew that a skeleton stood behind me. I knew (kind of) what he looked like. I also knew that he was just trying to be creepy as a prank. But a LIVE SKELETON was a little too far under the realm of the uncanny valley to be trusted.

But Sans had asked me to turn around and shake his hand, so I gingerly began to turn my head. A sleeve, bathed in shadows. Cool. I could handle sleeves. My eyes traveled up to a shoulder. Equally awesome. I was almost fully revolved, now. Far enough that I looked straight into the face.

Only… there was no face. The figure in front of me was fully coated in darkness. I couldn’t even make out the pinpricks of eyes. All I could make out was the ghoulish shine of a skull and the outline of a grinning mouth. Only the slightest sway of motion indicated that he was animate.

Slowly, deliberately, the arm drew back, pulling his left hand from his pocket. He held it out. It was mittened. If not for his skull, I would not have known he was a skeleton. His head tipped slightly, as if in a dare. I unfurled my own arms, took a deep breath, and clasped his hand in my own.

The whoopie cushion noise broke the silence, flatulating loudly into the stillness of the forest. Sans still held my hand, pressing tightly to let the noise run its full course.

“heheh,” the skeleton laughed, withdrawing his hand at last. “the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. it’s ALWAYS funny.”

I don’t know if he unblocked whatever light source lit these forests or how exactly he did it, but Sans no longer stood in shadow. He stood before me, grinning as if he had just pulled the best prank in the world, shoving his hand back into his pocket and splaying his feet in a wider stance. His eyeless sockets each held a little light like a pupil, and they danced with merriment beholding my confusion. He wore the baggy blue hoodie that the game portrayed him wearing, open to display a white tee inside, black shorts with a white stripe down the side for pants. His mouth didn’t move as he spoke, fixed in a permanent smile as if he was the Cheshire Cat in another life. Although he was short – the top of his head just about level with my shoulder – he was broad, making him seem as if he had more weight on him than he did. His music struck up.

Sans, everybody.

I huffed out a guffaw, partly in disbelief that I was actually HERE in front of Sans of all people (eat your heart out, fangirls, I couldn’t help thinking spitefully) and partly in utter bewilderment that of all things THIS is the way he would greet the first fallen human to the Underground in who knew how long. “How old are you?” I demanded as Sans tucked the whoopie cushion back into his pocket.

“depends. are we talking mentally or physically?”

“Mentally.”

“four and a half and getting younger every year.”

I laughed at this blatant answer, shaking my head back and forth, squinting my eyes to figure out if this guy was for real.

Yeah. Yeah he was.

His eyesockets crinkled and he cocked his head. Even though his mouth didn’t move, he was extremely expressive. “anyways, you’re a human, right?”

“Uh… yep.” I wasn’t sure what else to answer to this. Sans gave a huff of laughter, which was strange because there was absolutely no steamy whiteness coming from his mouth. He wasn’t breathing. Unlike me, who was puffing like a choo-choo train in the cold.

“that’s hilarious.” He said it like you might say, ‘what a coincidence’. “i’m sans,” he introduced himself. “sans the skeleton.”

“Pleased to meet you, Sans,” I said, for I was nothing if not polite.

“likewise.” He gave a small bow, his hands still deep in his pockets. “i’m actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… y’know…” He gave a shrug. “i don’t really care about capturing anybody.”

“Well, that’s lucky for me then, I guess.”

Sans shrugged again. “well, only half lucky, because you also get to deal with my brother, papyrus… he’s a human-hunting FANATIC.”

“Oh joy,” I said, making it sound sarcastic, but I really was happy about getting to meet Papyrus.

“hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.”

I wheeled around and peered through the wooden bars. I didn’t see anything, but I could hear the crunch of boots on snow and the sound of someone sputtering loudly to themselves as they came steadily closer.

“i have an idea. go through this gate thingy.”

“You… lemme get this straight. You want me to go towards the human-hunting fanatic?” I clarified. Sans jerked his head in that direction with a nod.

“yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.”

“Okay,” I squeaked, throwing caution to the wind and walking through the bars. Sans followed at a good clip, his slippers shuffling in the snow.

Wait, slippers? I registered a double-take. Yeah. Slippers. Gray ones.

I had never really known what shoes Sans wore. Some people portrayed him in sneakers, others in slippers. Pink slippers tended to be a headcanon fad. I was happy to see that he was at least in gray ones, not pink. I don’t know why, but Sans in pink slippers just… bugged me. Don’t ask me why.

Another thing I noticed: Sans’s voice. Although it was lower and definitely in the same key as the ‘huhuhuhuh’ sound his dialogue made in the game, he had a light accent. I thought it was British. This was peculiar because I was the only one who thought of Sans having a British accent.

Maybe this game is in my computer after all! I thought.

Or, I’m crazy and this is all so familiar because it’s happening in my mind, my brain offered an alternate suggestion. I ignored this thought.

The irritated sputtering became a notch louder as we went into the sentry station clearing and I saw the shadow of a figure moving beyond the bend. Sans nodded at me. “quick,” he told me, gesturing. “behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.”

“Ooookie dokie.” Laughing to myself at how stupid this was, I dove toward the lamp. It didn’t fit to my exact measurements like in the game, but it was pretty darn close to my shape when I stood behind it. As Papyrus marched into the clearing, stomping loudly, I orbited the lamp so as to keep concealed. Sans’s music stopped. Papyrus’s kicked in.

Sans shot me an oblique wink before turning his attention to Papyrus. “sup, bro?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT ‘SUP’, BROTHER!” bellowed the taller skeleton, halting several paces away from Sans. “IT’S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES!” If Papyrus had been human and capable of creating saliva, I was certain spittle would have rained. “YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?”

Feeling a little more confident about my position, I peeked between the lampshade and lamp body, taking a good look at my second favorite character. Papyrus was not as tall as I had imagined him. Six feet, maybe an inch or so taller. His ‘battle body’ was polished to perfection, the gold trim gleaming in the scant light, handmade medals bouncing on his breast, scarf dancing as he pointed and flailed in exasperation. His voice was not as high as some people voiced him, and he also had an accent, although his was undeniably emphasized. He curled his ‘r’s (how, I have no idea) and flung his voice into the icy wind with a vigor that made my throat ache in sympathy.

Let’s give a hand for Papyrus, everybody.

When I was giving a voice for Papyrus in my Let’s Play, I thought immediately of Sir Cadogan from Harry Potter: the knight in a portrait who was extremely serious about his duties, but didn’t quite know what he was doing. Chivalrous, but inept. With a dash of Gaston in there as well. Jacksepticeye, on the other hand, thought of him as more of a Snidely Whiplash kind of character – a bumbling Saturday morning cartoon villain. I could see both sides of this. I was looking forward to hearing the laugh.

“staring at this lamp,” answered Sans, his eyesockets widening in innocence as he suggested, “it’s really cool. do you wanna look?”

Papyrus didn’t even spare a glance. “NO!! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!” he cried, stamping his foot repeatedly into the snow. “WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE!?! I WANT TO BE READY!!! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!”

He strode about as if he was a Shakespearean actor on stage, throwing out lines without the use of a microphone, posing with scarf uplifted to float on the wind like a cape. “THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE. RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO, BE MY, ‘FRIEND’? I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING.”

The wistfulness of this last sentence quieted him down enough to finally end a sentence with a period. I was proud of him.

“hmm.” Sans nodded thoughtfully. He had doubtless heard this whole thing before multiple times. Compared to his wildly gesticulating brother, he looked extremely subdued. “maybe this lamp will help you.”

“SANS!! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!! YOU LAZYBONES!!” Papyrus was back to maximum volume, stomping his foot again. “ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!”

Anybody who can appropriately work the word ‘boondoggle’ into a conversation goes up a couple notches in my book. Just throwing that out there.

“hey, take it easy. i’ve gotten a ton of work done today.” Sans paused dramatically. Guess it ran in the family. “a skele-ton.”

Badum-tish!

The rimshot rang out over the trees as Sans winked. I was glad that it masked the muted grunt of laughter/cringe that I made as I leaned over the back of the lamp, wishing death on all bad jokes. Papyrus apparently felt the same, because he gave one hard stamp on the snow and screeched, “SANS!!!”

“come on,” his brother cajoled, “you’re smiling.”

“I AM AND I HATE IT!” Papyrus attempted desperately to pull down the corner of his mouth with his hands. Which was, in fact, impossible because his mouth was made of bone. He put his red-mittened hands in front of his face and sighed. “WHY DOES SOMEONE SO GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST FOR SOME RECOGNITION…” he lamented.

The first time I heard him say that I was expecting him to finish ‘have to have such a lazybones brother like you’ or something like that. Papyrus made me happy in that he wasn’t downright cruel to his brother. Or maybe he was too self-important to dwell on Sans’s bad jokes for too long. Who knew?

“wow, sounds like you’re really working yourself… down to the bone,” Sans suggested. He posed even more dramatically, both hands raised for laughter (or applause) that never came. The rimshot covered up both my suffering sigh and Papyrus’s “UGH!!!” of disgust.

“I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES,” Papyrus declared. “AS FOR YOUR WORK?” He leaned over his innocently grinning brother. “PUT A LITTLE MORE… ‘BACKBONE’ INTO IT!”

And with his trademark laugh of “NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!” Papyrus wheeled about and pelted back into the forest, stopping only long enough to cough out a final, “HEH,” looking somewhat chagrinned at his own words.

Sans, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted. I hadn’t missed the thumb’s-up he had given at the joke, even if Papyrus might have. He replaced his hand in his pocket, turning his back to me as he called, “ok, you can come out now.”

I poked my head out around the lamp. “Ouch,” I commented. Sans sniggered. “Whyfore you keep me captive audience?”

“would you have listened otherwise?” he asked reasonably.

“Not if I didn’t have to.”

“hmm.” Sans’s grin didn’t falter. He nodded in the direction Papyrus had gone. “you oughta get going. he might come back. and if he does…” his grin seemed to stretch even farther as he winked, “you’ll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes.”

“I’m going, I’m going!” I was quick to make my retreat, laughing all the same. I was almost at the end of the clearing before Sans called, “actually, hey, hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor?”

“Suuuu--- mmm, what kind of favor?” I crossed my arms.

“hey, don’t be like that,” the skeleton reprimanded. “’s nothing crazy. i was just thinking… my brother’s been kind of down lately.”

I snorted. “You call that down? I’d hate to see his up if that’s down!”

“you don’t know him like i do.” I stilled. Sans, for once, was actually serious about this. “anyways, papyrus’s never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day.”

“Again,” I gesticulated. “You want me to go TOWARDS the human-hunting fanatic? To make his day?”

“don’t worry, he’s not dangerous,” Sans clarified, adding with a look both amused and utterly fond, “even if he tries to be.”

The look swayed me. I knew I would have to show myself in the end, but his face convinced me. “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll let him see me.”

Sans regained his pep in an instant. “thanks a million. i’ll be up ahead.” And with that he did an abrupt about-face and waltzed back the way we came, disappearing behind the wide wooden bars. He didn’t reappear.

I shook my head, turning away. “Craaaazy skeleton,” I murmured under my breath.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

I liked to play a little game with each Save Point: remember in the game what filled Frisk with Determination. With the Save Point on Box Road, I recalled, it was something like ‘the convenience of the lamp fills you with Determination’. Or along those lines. For me, however, it might have been more like, ‘the knowledge that you would soon show yourself to Papyrus fills you with Determination’. Whichever it was, it still felt good.

I next turned my attention to the box, skimming the sign beside it. Blah blah blah, box lover. When I opened the box, a gust of warm air blew out. Someone must have stored some warmth, I thought, holding my hands over the heat and rubbing them together. I reached in and pulled out a pair of stiff gloves. Boxing gloves, almost, except that they were more supple. More like mittens. I put them on and my Toy Knife popped into existence into my hand. I placed it in the box, wondering as I did what attributed as an ‘Armor’. If my headphones had come with me, would those have counted as armor? And the striped shirt I wore, why didn’t that count? The Ballet Shoes were weapons, but not my boots. Did Papyrus’s battle body work as armor or did it just count as clothing, giving him no extra defense?

Shaking my head over the logic of this situation, I put the Spider Donut in the chest, along with the Butterscotch Pie, then took the pie back out, feeling suddenly naked without any healing items whatsoever. I was still cold, but at least my hands were warm, now. I resaved and headed to the north, encountering nothing unusual. Just the fishing pole with the phone number (I called. Nobody picked up) that I replaced in the river when I was done. As I headed back down, a Snowdrake fluttered out of the trees, looking just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. I was drawn immediately into Fight Mode.

My turn was first. Surprising as it might be, I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to get past this guy. Didn’t I flee in my playthrough? I didn’t want to run away! Stumbling over my words and forgetting to look at my options, I grinned and exclaimed in a slightly cracking voice, “Hey! How’s it going!”

“Hey, ’ICE’ to meet you,” the Snowdrake replied. If he had had arms – or maybe he did, I just couldn’t tell under the feathers – he would’ve given me finger guns.

NOW I remembered what to do. After avoiding his swirling crescent-shaped magic attacks, I snorted to myself. “’ICE’ to meet you,” I repeated, trying to act as if this was the funniest thing I had ever heard. I’m not good at fake laughing. I’m not good at laughing in general. But my laughter must have been convincing enough for him, because he brightened, clicking his beak and ruffling his feathers.

“See? Laughs! Dad was wrong!”

I bundled myself into a corner of the square until his attack stopped and Spared him on my turn. The Snowdrake pranced off, looking extremely pleased with himself. I resaved, congratulating myself on not getting hit, and continued on the path. Even before I rounded the bend, I could hear a loud discussion going on. No words were apparent, but I could hear Papyrus’s sultry tones lifted above the treetops as I approached, and even the low drone of Sans’s answers, then another shout of “SANS!!!” as he no doubt made another pun. Putting on another spurt of speed, I rounded the nearest tree and skidded to a halt as both skeletons appeared before me.

“SO,” Papyrus continued, sighing and resuming the conversation his brother had apparently interrupted, “AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE…”

He glanced a little too far to the side and his eyes fixed in my direction. He turned to look at his brother, but Sans was now looking at me, his eyes twinkling in mock surprise. He, in turn, swiveled to look at Papyrus, who was looking at me again. The upbeat music kept time as the brothers rotated back and forth, always missing one another. They went faster and faster in a comical manner that matched the game exactly. Finally, both of them stopped, eyesockets locked on my position. Then Papyrus grabbed his brother’s shoulder and turned him away, stage whispering, “SANS!! OH MY GOD!! IS THAT… A HUMAN?!?!?!?!?”

The brothers turned back to look at me, simultaneously this time. I would have waved, but it became clear that Papyrus was looking at something beyond me. Sans tracked Papyrus’s gaze and I turned around. Behind me was a suspicious-looking rock that was slowly inching its way across the path. It tipped its rocky cap and continued onward. I cocked an eyebrow at Sans and pointed at the stone, mouthing ‘what???’ He simply returned my bemused expression with a shrug.

“uhhhh… actually, I think that’s a rock,” he told Papyrus.

The taller skeleton sagged visibly. “OH.” He turned away.

I gave a small cough, pointedly flicking my eyes towards Papyrus, indicating to Sans that I was trying my best, here. He was going to have to help me out. Sans took the cue and added, “hey, what’s that in front of the rock?”

I gave a small wave as Papyrus’s eyes locked on me for the first time. “OH MY GOD!!!” he exclaimed again, taking a small step backwards. He pulled on Sans’s jacket, ‘whispering’ again, “IS… IS THAT A HUMAN?”

“yes,” Sans answered, stage whispering as well.

Papyrus sucked in a breath (???) before bellowing, “OH MY GOD!!!” at the top of his lungs (again, ????) and turning between his brother and me, taking a pace between the two of us each exclamation. “SANS! I FINALLY DID IT!! UNDYNE WILL… I’M GONNA… I’LL BE SO…” His excitement got the better of him and he threw his hands up in the air, shouting to the wind, “POPULAR!!! POPULAR!!! POPULAR!!!”

I couldn’t help but grin at his enthusiasm, even if I was a bit wide-eyed at his vigor. I was by no means afraid of this guy, but his energy was a little overwhelming.

Papyrus must have realized that he had acted a bit unprofessional, for he made an effort to calm himself, clearing his nonexistent throat with an “AHEM,” before turning back to me, pointing a finger, and bellowing, “HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU!!! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN!!!” He stopped, abruptly running out of steam as he realized, “I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S NEXT. IN ANY CASE!” he waved it aside, “CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE!!!”

With a cackle of “NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!” Papyrus sped off down the road, kicking up snow with his red boots as he went.

I nodded slowly as Sans turned to look at me, raising my eyebrows and holding out my arms in a ‘how’d I do?’ gesture.

“well, that went well,” he commented. “don’t sweat it, kid. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for ya.” He winked before loping after his brother, digging his hands deeper into his pockets.

“Coolness,” I said into the quiet forest as the calm music of Snowdin Forest resumed. I wished I knew the name for all the tracks. Something told me this music was called ‘Snowy’, but I didn’t know for sure. The suspicious rock was gone. Only the slightest trail indicated that it had been there to begin with. I didn’t attempt to follow it, instead striking off toward the lopsided sentry station. An Ice Cap crossed the path in front of me and forced me into an Encounter before I could reach it, however, and although I won’t go into details let’s just say that it is WAY harder to wrench your eyes away from that hat than you would think. I ended up staring at his toes instead.

I think I made him feel awkward.

I skimmed past the narration written in Papyrus font on the skeleton’s ‘well-crafted’ sentry station, taking notice of the cardboard roof being fruitlessly lofted by sticks far too slim for its snow-laden weight, but also taking into account how spotless and clean the station was inside. Pap’rus might not be the most skilled builder, but I might consider hiring the guy on as a maid or something. You know, in case I ever got a house that needed cleaning.

Passing onward, another sentry station hove into view. The sign before it read ‘Absolutely NO MOVING!!!’ It wasn’t in Papyrus’s handwriting, despite the many exclamation points, and I recalled how every gamer who ever played Undertale had immediately frozen on the spot at the sign’s suggestion. Knowing what I did, I began to tentatively move in front of the station’s window. No sooner had I stepped in front, however, than twin ears poked above the counter, led by shifting, milky eyes, and a dark snout. In no time at all, a dog’s head peered above the lip of the counter.

“Did something move?” the dog huffed, his voice low and gravely. His shifty eyes peered blankly as I froze. “Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things.”

His paws rose to tap on the counter, the dog biscuit in his mouth trembling with his concentration. “If something WAS moving… for example, a human…” the dog growled softly, rising a little further from his place, the hackles on his neck beginning to rise. “I’ll make sure it NEVER moves again!”

He made a swiping movement, vaulting out the window of his sentry shack and drawing out twin knives, simultaneously dragging me into an Encounter. He stood before me in black-and-white, eyes still flicking from side to side. The dog biscuit was clamped between his sharp teeth. Doggo blocked my way.

Need to get the stick, I thought, moving my hand oh so subtly toward my pocket. There. I tapped my pocket and my inventory menu rose before me. I nodded toward the item that read ‘stick’ and it appeared in my hand. Doggo’s eyes – although completely inept at spotting me – locked on the newly apparated branch and widened, a string of drool snaking from his partially open mouth. I waved the stick around just a little bit to get his attention before throwing it as hard as I could to the side. It landed in a nearby snowdrift and Doggo bounded to get it. He grasped it in his mouth, worrying it like a real dog might, before bringing it back and dropping it at my feet. It disappeared back into my inventory.

“Huh,” Doggo gasped, digging his nose into the snow. “A fun stick appears!”

Now the box formed around me, too thin to allow me to move to either side. A blue magic attack – the first I had seen – barreled toward me. I clenched my teeth, hissing in a breath, forcing myself to stay still. Somehow it made it even worse that the magic attack was shaped like a sword. There was a prickle as the blue magic passed through me, but I was unscathed.

Suppressing a shiver as Doggo’s turn ended, I willed the Fight to end. Apparently there were a bunch of different ways to Spare, because this worked just as well as saying ‘I don’t want to fight’ or dropping my weapon. Everything faded back into its normal colors and Doggo began to saunter back to his station, musing to himself, “A stick appeared out of nowhere, then disappeared.” He climbed back in the window. “Was it a ghost stick? Did I just return it to the afterlife?” He shook his head, ducking back out of sight. “I need some dog treats to think about this.” I heard the rustle of – presumably – a dog treat bag and used this to cover up my retreating footsteps, glancing back over my shoulder as I fled to make sure that the dog wasn’t pursuing.

Sans startled me, standing languidly beside a tree as I slowed my pace. His quasi-interested gaze made me wonder if he was going to ask why I was running like that, but instead he just said, “hey, here’s something important to remember. My brother has a very special attack. If you see a blue attack, don’t move and it won’t hurt you.”

“Thanks, I just figured it out myself with Doggo back there. So…” I waved a hand back in the direction I came from. “Y’know, I’m good. Thanks.”

“y’know, you could’ve saved me the effort of telling you the spiel if you had told me, like, two seconds ago,” Sans commented. “i would’ve appreciated the consideration.”

I couldn’t believe this guy. Who was he to complain? I took a defensive step forward. “I would’ve appreciated the consideration of you telling ME about the blue attacks BEFORE I had to learn it out on my own!”

“hey, calm down, buddy.” Sans raised both his hands, but didn’t look alarmed. “i’m just messing with ya. ‘sides, you figuring it out by yourself really makes my job a bit easier, so i’m not complaining.”

“Still,” I said grumpily, still not fully assuaged, “you could’ve tried a bit harder.”

“eh,” Sans shrugged. “dunno if you’ve noticed, kid, but trying’s not really my forte.”

“Okay.” I sighed a breath out through my nose, watching the steam spiral away into nothingness. “Thanks for at least trying a little, then.” I tried for a smile. It came out crooked. “I guess some advice is better a little late than never.”

“eh, fuhgeddaboudit.” Sans waved a hand. “whatever i can do with minor inconvenience.”

I huffed another laugh, turning away. “See you later, Sans.”

“see ya.”

Well, that varied wildly from the script, I thought to myself, skidding into the middle of a frozen patch of ground and reading a convenient sign that pointed out that ice lay in all directions. Unlike the other conversations I had been in that had deviated from their original in-game lines, this argument with Sans didn’t even try to resolve itself. He hadn’t gone on to tell me about blue stop signs. Nada. Just resolved the conflict and let it go at that. Weird. Were conversations with Sans always going to be like that – easily manipulated away from their origin – or was this just a convenience?

Was Sans himself always going to be like this? I didn’t know exactly why, but talking with him IRL made him seem a lot more irritating. There was still a certain charm about him, I guessed, because you knew he was trying to push your buttons and it became a sort of competition to see who could push back more, but still, just the fact that he was pushing buttons at all made him rather… aggravating. I suddenly saw Papyrus’s point of view. His poor bro. It was a good thing Sans was charismatic or else he would be truly unbearable.

Did Sans hate me?

The question rose as a tree went between us as I went north toward the snowman. My lips twisted as I pondered this question. Sans was good at hiding things. That stupid smile of his was a mask and he constantly shielded himself with witty puns and banter. I knew that he knew of my power. He knew what I was capable of. In his own words, if Toriel hadn’t specifically asked him to NOT kill me, I’d be dead where I stood. Whether this meant he would have Gaster Blasted me into oblivion or if he would have turned me in to Undyne without a moment’s notice, I had never really been sure. I suspected the first.

One thing was for certain, I decided as I headed back south with a Snowman Piece secure inside my inventory: despite his chummy manner, Sans was keeping ‘an eyesocket out for me’ for more reason than just my safety. He didn’t trust me. What was keeping me from whaling away on a royal guard member just for the fun of it? What was keeping me from killing his brother?

I trusted Sans. Well, I trusted him as far as not killing me outright went. I hadn’t when I first played the game. Despite a marvelous effort to keep clear of spoilers, I had encountered a couple Source Filmmaker videos on YouTube that portrayed him as a vengeful persecutor of the player. Even by the end of the game, after learning of Toriel’s promise, I was afraid to ‘Insult’ the Lost Soul of Papyrus in case Sans would suddenly grow a backbone and attack me.

But now that I knew what it would take for him to attack me, I allowed myself to relax, allowing an uneasy bond to grow as the shorter skeleton attempted to befriend me. He was obviously trying, but whether it was for my sake, for Toriel’s sake, or to keep me placated and not start haphazardly killing was yet to be seen.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Lesser Dog was a character I had not encountered in my playthrough. Whether that was because I had left the area too quickly or some other reason, I didn’t know, but here he was now as I wandered eastward.

The use of the stick made it extremely easy to Spare Lesser Dog, but I wanted to try the petting thing. After his turn had ended – the blue attack was still scary – I stepped up to the dog and gave it a scratch behind the ears. He panted, whimpering in pleasure as I stroked him and his neck extended just a little bit. I was pushed backward by the white box as his turn began, ducking as his attack – shaped like a fluffy white dog – bounded toward me.

I pet Lesser Dog several times before becoming tired of being interrupted by the dog’s attacks. His head was perched at the top of his six foot long neck and he wobbled as he trotted off into the distance, his neck shrinking as he disappeared.

An experience, to be sure.

Again, Papyrus’s voice preceded my sight of him as I left the grove, skidding across the slippery ice. I stopped once I came in seeing distance, waiting for him to notice me. It might take a while, I decided. He was pretty focused on yelling at his brother. I snuck a peek behind me. Sans – who I was sure had been standing behind me where I left him – had moved and was currently in front of me being yelled at. I shrugged it off and listened in to their ‘conversation’.

“YOU’RE SO LAZY!!” Papyrus had just finished bellowing. “YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!!”

He was obviously making a list of Sans’s ineptitudes, but Sans interrupted, claiming, “i think that’s called… sleeping.”

Papyrus waved a dismissive arm. “EXCUSES, EXCUSES!”

Sans saw me first and gestured, tuning in his brother to my presence. Papyrus whirled around, his scarf flying. “OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES!”

“Ah… yep.” I stepped a little closer to the trampled patch of ground that separated myself from the skeletons. “Here I be.”

‘Here I be’??? That’s how I was going to lead? Really?

“IN ORDER TO STOP YOU,” Papyrus declared pompously, “MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!!!” He seemed to smile to himself at this cleverness. “FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE!!!” Papyrus spread his arms wide, gesturing toward the area between us. “WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP!” He pulled out a teal ball, gesturing to it dramatically. “SOUND LIKE FUN???” he demanded, not allowing me an opportunity to answer. “BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL, I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW.”

“Okay,” I said, sticking the toes of my boots into the snow and peering at the teal orb still clenched tightly in Papyrus’s fist. “Uh… don’t you think… maybe…”

“hey, kid,” Sans spoke up from across the way. “my bro put a lot of effort into making this puzzle for ya. it’d be a real shame to pass it up. don’t you think?”

 “D… I don’t wanna hurt you,” I attempted again, a little quieter this time.

“WHAT??? NONSENSE, HUMAN!!!” shouted Papyrus. “THIS PERILOUS PUZZLE, ALTHOUGH QUITE DASTARDLY, IS NON-LETHAL! EVEN IF I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WERE THE ONE TO DO THE PUZZLE INSTEAD OF YOU!!!”

“like my bro said, kid,” Sans added, “non-lethal. not even a scratch. c’mon. it’d be a shame to pass up on an opportunity like this.”

He said it with a wink, silently giving me full permission to prank his brother.

Well, if Sans was okay with it, I guessed there could be no real harm. I rolled my shoulders, sighing through pursed lips. “Okay. Alrighty then. You ready?”

“READY WHEN YOU ARE, HUMAN!!!”

I nodded. “Okay then. Here I come!”

I took a single step forward and the orb zapped, suddenly filled to the brink with electricity. Papyrus lurched in surprise, his entire body becoming covered in a cartoony gray ash. He shook it off, stomping his foot and turning irately to his brother. “SANS!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!”

“i think the human has to hold the orb,” Sans told him innocently as if he hadn’t had anything to do with Papyrus’s recent electrocution.

“OH, OKAY,” Papyrus agreed, starting off across the packed snow in my direction. A grin had risen to my face as soon as I had seen that he was – indeed – unharmed, but I did my best to wipe it off as he approached, head dipped and scanning for indications of the walls of the electricity maze. Even though the snow in that section was packed down, it had frozen and developed a solid crust. A crust that was easily broken by Papyrus’s firm footsteps, leaving a clear trail of safety to the other side.

Papyrus soon stood in front of me. I realized I had only seen the taller skeleton at a distance before now, and measured his height in comparison to my own. My head was just about level with the rounded shoulder of his battle body. Yeah, 6’1”-ish seemed about right.

“HOLD THIS, PLEASE!” Although still loud, Papyrus kindly didn’t blare into my ear. He tossed the ball high, high into the air until it became a little blue speck. I raised my hands and caught it as it came back down. Papyrus was back on the other side when I looked back, the orb clutched in my cupped hands.

“OKAY, TRY NOW!” he called.

“Okay,” I whispered to myself, squaring my shoulders and pressing forward, placing each step in Papyrus’s footprints as I crossed through the electricity maze. The footprints were far apart due to their owner’s gigantic strides and the teal orb buzzed threateningly in my hands whenever I lost my balance and moved it too far to the side. I hissed in breath between my teeth, but I was able to regain my balance and kept the ball clenched tightly to my chest ever afterwards. Only a few steps more and I hopped out on the other side, letting out a sigh of relief and giving a small laugh of triumph. Sans looked pleased. Papyrus’s brows knit together in incredulity.

“INCREDIBLE!! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL!!”

I gave a little bow, tossing the orb up in the air and marching forward to hand it to the puzzled Papyrus. He took it, still staring at me in fascination, rolling it between both mittened palms. “YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY!”

“I’m just good at puzzles, man,” I deflected, holding both hands defensively in front of me.

“YES…” Papyrus drawled. “SO IT WOULD SEEM. HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS!” Sans gave a ‘sup’ chin jerk. “YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!”

With an abrupt about-face, Papyrus pelted on ahead to design more perilous puzzles. I nodded slowly as he disappeared into the distance, unable to keep a smile from crinkling the corners of my eyes. “Well,” I commented, “that seemed to go pretty well, too.”

“yeah,” Sans agreed, turning from his vanishing brother to me. “hey… thanks. my brother seems like he’s having fun.”

“Aw, don’t mention it,” I told him. “I’m just happy that he’s having a good time. I like puzzles and stuff like that, so… yeah.” I shrugged. “No problem.”

“by the way, did you see that weird outfit he’s wearing?”

“Uh, yeah! Nice scarf thing. I like it.”

“thanks. we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn’t worn anything else since. keeps calling it his ‘battle body’. man.” Sans shot a look after Papyrus – a look both warm and utterly sincere. “isn’t my brother cool?”

There were two lines that shattered my preconceptions of Sans when I first played the game. This was one of them. I had been surprised by the sincerity of his words, strangely heartwarmed by a character I had deemed to be dangerous. It was this line that had first prompted me to let down my guard.

Even now, Papyrus far beyond earshot of what Sans had just said about him, I felt a little warmth creep into my chest. I grinned as I joined Sans in staring off after Papyrus. “Yeah,” I agreed with a little nod. “Yeah, he seems pretty awesome.”

I flicked my eyes up at Sans’s face for an instant, then back down again before I could register his expression. “I’d… better get going. Again. See ya!”

“later, kiddo.”

Continuing on the path and rounding some nearby trees, I came across the Nice Cream Guy – a character I stupidly thought in my initial playthrough to be some kind of octopus. The Nice Cream Guy was by no means squidlike. He was, in fact, a bunny. A blue bunny in McDonalds-colored pants, shirt, and suspenders – no shoes to be seen – and a doleful expression. “I don’t understand why these aren’t selling,” he was muttering to himself as I came up. “It’s the perfect weather for something cold…”

“H- hey!” I intercepted with a wave and a smile. “Are you selling some food?”

The Nice Cream Guy started. Both ears pricked up and the largest smile I had ever seen crossed his face. “OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!!” he exclaimed, looking positively delighted. “Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It’s the frozen treat that warms your heart!”

“I would love some Nice Cream,” I told him. “How much?”

“Just 15G, lovely customer!” he said with a bow.

“Fifteen G? I’ll take two.”

“Here you go!” Nice Cream Guy dug into the freezer beside him and dug out two long popsicles, handing them to me as my G automatically subtracted. “Have a super-duper day!”

“You too! I hope you get a lot more customers.”

The Nice Cream Guy sighed, slumping against his cart. “Me too. So far all I’ve gotten are two questions about whether I’ve got a bathroom and one guy who only came by to say he’s giving me a one-star review! I don’t even have a website! I wouldn’t have minded if he had at least bought something.” At this he looked extremely dejected, his ears flopping down below his chin.

“Ouch, that’s not fun.” I clicked my tongue sympathetically. “Tell you what, if ever we cross paths again, I’ll buy some more Nice Cream.”

“Really?” He perked back up immediately. “Th… thanks! That means a lot to me, really! I’ll look forward to it!”

“So will I. See you later, ok?”

“Y- yeah! See you around!”

Grinning, I stashed one Nice Cream in my inventory, choosing to consume the other one. I hadn’t been near a checkpoint in a while and it was much harder to conserve items when they were before me in real life and looking so tasty. I thought about going back for another one, but decided that it might be awkward after such a lovely exchange. ‘Have a wonderful day!’ was written on the inside of the wrapper. It made me smile and I enjoyed my Nice Cream even more. It tasted like strawberry ice cream. Sweet.

Since it was monster food, it was mostly gone by the time I came across Sans again, standing not far away from optional ball puzzle. He was lounging with his back to a tree, hands in pockets like usual. “Wassup?” I asked, putting my mouth around the popsicle and sucking out the sweetness.

“i’ve been thinking about selling treats, too,” Sans said, nodding toward my succulent sucker. “want some fried snow? it’s just 5G.”

“Sure, why not?” I agreed, taking a peek up at my G counter. Still a pretty decent amount.

“did i say 5G?” Sans asked. “i meant 50G.”

“Dude,” I rolled my eyes.

“you’re right,” he agreed, nodding deeply. “that’s still too low.”

I snorted, turning away. “GOODBYE, Sans.”

“what? what’d i say?”

I marched away resolutely, still chuckling under my breath. The popsicle stick dissolved in my hand along with the wrapper as I finished my Nice Cream and I was healed back up to a full 20 HP. I took my time examining the empty stations of Dogamy and Dogaressa and made sure to remain aloof while walking past Sans. He didn’t comment. Neither did I.

I tried out the ball puzzle a few times and got two blue flags, one purple, and one green. Overall, not bad! I decided, enjoying my newly earned G and moving on.

I was distracted by the out of bounds snow dodecahedron, so Papyrus’s bellow took me by surprise and made me jump. “HUMAN!!!” he shouted. “I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR…”

He in turn was also taken by surprise, looking around for something that was obviously not there. “SANS!! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!!!” he demanded, brows dipping dangerously low over his empty sockets.

“it’s right there. on the ground.” Sans pointed to an off-white scrap of paper reposing on the snow. “trust me. there’s no way they can get past this one.”

“Is that a challenge?” I demanded, walking over to pick up the paper. On it was a word search – a self-declared ‘Monster Kidz Word Search’ to be precise – with a bear faced ice cube named ‘Ice-E’ drawn on one side. I held out a hand toward the skeletons. “Pencil?”

“pen?” Sans held one out to me.

“That’ll do.”

Within the space of a minute or so, I had the word search completed. Even though it was for kids and hopelessly easy, I felt a sense of accomplishment as I handed it – and the pen – back to Sans. The game didn’t let you actually do the word search. What a girl boss I was, breaking the system. Papyrus leaned over Sans’s shoulder to scan the completed page.

“SANS!!!” Papyrus bopped his brother on the shoulder. “THAT DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“whoops.” Sans didn’t look too disgruntled as he rolled the paper up and stuck it in his pocket. “i knew i should have used today’s crossword instead.”

“WHAT!?” cried Papyrus. “CROSSWORD!? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!! IN MY OPINION, JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST.”

Sans turned to Papyrus with a bewildered half-amused expression. “what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that’s for baby bones.”

“UN. BELIEVABLE. HUMAN!!!” My eyes popped open as Papyrus turned to me, waving a hand between himself and his brother. “SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!” he ordered, then crossed his arms and waited for me to answer.

I made a gurgling noise. “Uhm… I…” I got my thoughts together. “I’m just going to go ahead and say that I absolutely hate scrambled letters. I’d rather do a crossword any day. So… I’ll go with the Junior Jumble thing. Yeah.”

“HA! HA! YES!” Papyrus pointed victoriously at Sans, who shrugged indifferently. “HUMANS MUST BE VERY INTELLIGENT IF THEY ALSO FIND JUNIOR JUMBLE SO DIFFICULT!” With another snide laugh, Papyrus waltzed away.

“Heh, he thinks I’m intelligent,” I remarked smugly to Sans when Papyrus was out of sight.

“he also got stumped trying to solve last week’s horoscope.” Sans tapped the rolled-up paper that protruded from his pocket. “but, to be fair, that was a devil of a puzzle you just passed.”

“Don’t make fun of me! It was your puzzle!”

“best one I ever made.” Sans’s smile didn’t flicker. “thanks for saying ‘junior jumble’ just to appease my brother.”

“I actually do really hate word scrambles,” I said.

“but which do you think is harder?”

“It depends on the difficulty of each!” I exclaimed. “If both of them were at the same level of difficulty as that thing,” I pointed to the rolled word search, “then I’d still say Junior Jumble because it still makes my brain melt out my ears.”

“ok,” shrugged the skeleton. “fair enough.”

“So I didn’t lie just to make your brother feel good,” I added. “I don’t want to lie to him.”

Sans nodded sagely. “yep, i can understand that. papyrus hates liars.”

I winced, thinking about how Sans basically lived his entire life to his brother as a lie. “Really?”

“yep. he’s always after me for lying around all the time.” He posed and the rimshot sounded.

I snorted, feeling a little tension drain away. “Dude.”

“’m serious. he hates it when i lie around. calls me lazy.”

“Well then, you’d better get going to keep ahead of me.” I gave a backwards wave.

“see ya. i’ll be up ahead.”

“I’m sure you will,” I murmured to myself, wondering why a strange chill crept up my spine as I turned away. I checked to see if Sans was still behind me. He was. I shot him another grin to mask my uneasiness, but it was still there as I passed on.

“Heyyyyy spaghetti!” I exclaimed as the lone spaghetti table came into view. The twinkling light of a Save Point was even more welcoming – no surprise there – and I mentally calculated how long it had been since I had saved. Quite a long time, I figured. I felt like a lot had happened since Box Road. That thought filled me with Determination.

Properly saved, I next turned to the spaghetti. There was a note next to it in Papyrus’s handwriting:

HUMAN!! (it read)

PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI.

Underneath this in smaller but still decipherable letters were depicted the words:

(LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!! THOUROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!!)

NYEH-HEH-HEH,

PAPYRUS

I poked the spaghetti sauce. My fingernail made a tapping noise. The spaghetti was so cold that it was frozen almost completely solid. I turned to the microwave beside it. There was a plug, but no outlet was nearby to plug it into. Not entirely disappointed by this, I reSaved.

Knowing that Papyrus made the spaghetti for me alone and that he was a lovable doofus whose plan didn’t really work but he tried really really hard filled me with Determination, and I marched on, filled to the brim.

“Warning: Dog Marriage” read a nearby sign. A double-take revealed the words “Yes, you read that correctly” printed in small letters down below. I grinned and turned away, striding towards the unusual-looking ground next to the spikes down south. Brushing away the light snow on top of this ground revealed a map of the surrounding area, a red X painted between three black splotches. I would have gone there immediately, but a crackling sound behind me made me pause. Out of the forest behind me bustled three teenage monsters – Ice Cap, Snowdrake, and a gourd-shaped monster I could only presume to be Jerry because the other two were groaning that name. I was immediately drawn into an encounter.

Jerry was the easiest monster to defeat. I motioned to the other teens and we snuck away while he was distracted, complaining loudly about something or other. The other two were harder. I had already defeated them both, but their attacks were much more difficult together. I ended up eating my Nice Cream mid-battle, reflecting dolefully that the only other healing item I had left was the butterscotch pie.

Why did I insist on hording my G like a dragon when it was meant to be spent?

Jerry came back after I Spared Ice Cap and Snowdrake and I ditched him again. One bad joke later and Snowdrake left me alone. I spared him thankfully, although he had knocked me back down to 10 HP with his final attack. Wishing yet again I had bought more Nice Cream when I had the chance, I pulled the lever hidden in the snow between the three trees, then headed past the deactivated spikes.

It was then I was attacked by Dogamy and Dogaressa. They came from the south, dressed in black like executioners, giant axes held in their paws. Their dark hoods drooped over their eyes, but their muzzles protruded, sniffing. “What’s that smell?” huffed Dogamy.

“Where’s that smell?” echoed Dogaressa.

“If you’re a smell…”

“Identify yoursmelf.”

A deep base began to play as they scampered about the snowy plateau we stood on, noses sniffing deeply, closing in on me like black-winged vultures. Soon enough, each of them stood on either side of me, axes at the ready.

“Hmm… here’s that weird smell,” snuffled Dogamy. His paws gripped his axe a little tighter. “It makes me want to eliminate.”

“Eliminate YOU!” growled Dogaressa.

In one swift motion, the two dog guards pulled off their hoods, stood shoulder to shoulder, and pulled me into a Fight. I pulled out my secret weapon – the stick – and the Dogi began to slobber. I threw the stick and they tumbled over each other like puppies trying to be the first to bring it back. They were both spared easily.

“Weird smells can bring good things…” mused Dogamy as the Fight ended.

“Friendly fun fetch,” panted Dogaressa in agreement.

“Thanks, weird smell!” Dogamy pulled his hood back up again.

“It sure was fun to ‘stick’ together!” Dogaressa added. The two dogs linked arms and marched off.

I laughed a little. “More puns,” I commented out loud to the stillness. I shrugged to nobody and continued moving forward, the snow crunching happily underneath my boots.

The next puzzle lay ahead. Two switches, each glowing in a bright blue X shape, lay not far from each other, separated by tall clumps of snow. I could see Papyrus standing beyond the spikes, his back towards me, staring into the distance.

I wonder if I can solve it without him seeing me, I thought, a mischievous grin rising to my face. I stood on switchplate number 1 – turning the X into a red O – then circled around to switchplate number 2, finally pressing down the gray plate up north. The spikes retracted with a clack, effectively snapping Papyrus from his reverie.

“WHAT!?” he exclaimed, seemingly amazed to see me. “HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP?”

“I just…” I started to say, but he interrupted me, mittened hand raised.

“AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY… IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME???”

“Oh!” He meant the spaghetti. “Yeah, there’s… still plenty left back there.” I gestured over my shoulder with my thumb.

“REALLY!?” Papyrus seemed more than delighted. “WOWIE… YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOMECOOKED PASTA JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME???”

I didn’t have the heart to break his delusion.

“FRET NOT, HUMAN!” Papyrus declared. “I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT!”

“Okay. Thanks!” I said over his happy laughter.

He waved me over to follow him to the next puzzle, chatting conversationally as he went. I trotted behind him, glad to see him so pleased. “MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY,” Papyrus told me. “HOW SADDENING…”

“How so?” I asked, struggling to keep up with the taller skeleton’s long strides.

“IT’S JUST… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM???” Papyrus pounded on his own breastplate. “NYEH HEH HEH!”

“Well, at least he found something he takes an interest in,” I suggested.

“I SUPPOSE SO,” the skeleton conceded. “ONLY… I DO WISH HE WOULD PICK UP AFTER HIMSELF INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIS COLLECTION ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!! IT’S BECOME A HAZARD TO MY WELLFARE!!!”

“Mmm, I feel you there,” I agreed.

“NYEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus chuckled, patting me on the shoulder. With the soft thickness of his mittens, I wouldn’t have been able to tell that there was a skeletal hand inside. “I THINK YOU AND I WILL GET ALONG JUST FINE. OH! HUMAN!” He stopped behind me as we came across the next puzzle, putting on a considering face. “HMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE.”

I squinted at the arrangement of blue X’s and clumps of snow. Nowhere could I see anything remotely resembling Papyrus’s face.

“UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT!”

“Different… how?” I questioned.

“OH, WORRY NOT, THE RESOLUTION IS STILL THE SAME,” Papyrus clarified, waving me off. “BUT, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND.”

“Maybe he’s taking care of that sock collection,” I suggested, tucking my hands against my sides to keep them warm. Even though the Tough Gloves effectively kept the cold out, the arms themselves were getting a little nippy.

Papyrus snorted. “I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS…” He paused, then whirled around, his scarf billowing in the sudden breeze like a cape. “WORRY NOT, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE,” he settled back into his deliberating pose, squinting hard at the puzzle, “FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF.”

“You know what? I think I will,” I said, stepping forward. “I don’t think it really is unsolvable. You probably just made it tougher. That’s all.”

“AH, SUCH OPTIMISM!!!” Papyrus waved a hand. “GO ON, THEN! I’LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!!!”

I nodded, cocking my head and examining the puzzle. It was never the most difficult of puzzles, in my opinion, but it did take some consideration before starting. The snow piles were too tall for me to climb over – at least not without accidentally stepping twice on the same switch – so this would have to be solved the same way as in the game. I stood on tiptoes, getting a better vantage point, tracing out my path with my index finger before setting out. Straight forward, turn left, turn right, right again, then out. Circle around and stomp on the final three points.

“Pap’rus! I mean, Papyrus! I think I did it!” I shouted, coming back to step on the gray plate. The O’s all became green and the spikes retracted.

“WOW!!” Papyrus exclaimed, looking supremely pleased. “YOU SOLVED IT!! AND YOU DID IT ALL WITHOUT MY HELP. INCREDIBLE! I’M IMPRESSED!!”

My smile widened. I had impressed him. For some reason, my insides felt warm.

“YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO.”

I nodded slowly, double-checking my words before I agreed. “Yeah! I do like puzzles.”

“WELL, I’M SURE YOU’LL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE, THEN! IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU!!”

“I’d be willing to try it!”

“UNTIL NEXT TIME THEN, HUMAN! NYEH! HEH! HEHEHEH!”

And again I was left alone.

Wait, no I wasn’t. How long had Sans been standing there by the deactivated spikes? Treating the shorter skeleton to a confused grimace, I walked over and asked him the same question.

“huh? what’re you talking about?” Sans returned. “i was standing here the whole time.”

“No you wer….” I trailed off, thinking back. “I… I think I would’ve noticed.”

“like you noticed that enormous bear standing right behind you?”

“What?!”

I whirled around to find that I’d been had. Sans doubled over laughing and I scowled, eyes squinched up into blazing slits, pointing a fierce finger in his face. “You, sir, try my patience!”

“and you try way too hard for your own good, kid,” Sans wheezed, shaking his head, still giggling a bit. “you should’ve seen your face.”

“I honestly want to slap you right now.”

You know, if you weren’t at one HP and that slap would kill you.

“no you don’t. look at you, you’re smiling.”

The corners of my mouth were turning up, even as I tried to push them down. “I am and I hate it,” I returned, letting my smile become more sincere, if still a bit wry. I sighed. “How does Pap’rus deal with you?”

“i dunno what you mean.” Sans, now fully recovered, settled back into his relaxed pose. “speaking of my brother, i wanted to congratulate you on solving that puzzle so quickly. you didn’t even need my help. which is great, ‘cause i love doing absolutely nothing.”

This was line #2 that helped change my initial bias about Sans. It was one thing for Papyrus to yell at his brother for being lazy, but for Sans to outright admit that he loved doing nothing made me realize that maybe this guy might not be the threatening mastermind I thought him to be.

“Yeah, apparently. Because you love standing around pranking people.”

“it does bring a little joy into my life,” Sans nodded sagely.

“I still think you’re horrible,” I shot over my shoulder, walking away.

“HEY!” Papyrus shouted a second later across a dance floor of checkered lights (currently deactivated). “IT’S THE HUMAN!”

Sans, standing by his brother’s side, turned to face me. I discreetly looked over my shoulder. Of course he was gone from where he had been a second ago. In a videogame you expected that kind of quick teleportation from one place to another. I hadn’t thought anything of it when I played. But here IRL it was a little disturbing.

“Hi!” I called, turning back. “What’ve you got for me this time?”

“OH, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!” Papyrus grinned. “IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! YOU SEE THESE TILES?! ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH…” Papyrus lightly rested a hand on a rusted control panel that bore a remarkable resemblance to Mettaton, “THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!”

He then proceeded to tell me about each color and its function. I nodded along, watching him wildly gesticulate with each new introduction, looking very much like a backup dancer in a concert. I really was paying attention, even though I knew how it would turn out.

“HOW WAS THAT!?” he asked at last, exhausted for explanations. “UNDERSTAND???”

“Every word!”

“GREAT!! THEN THERE’S ONE LAST THING: THIS PUZZLE…” he paused for emphasis, “IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!!!!!!! WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!”

That’s what you think, I thought, doing my best to appear impressed. It wasn’t difficult. Not when this whole presentation was given by a wildly gesticulating magical skeleton.

“NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…!”

“Wait!” I called over the activation noises as he pulled the switch. “Does that mean that this might have the chance to be completely unsolvable?”

“WHAT!? I’M SORRY, HUMAN, I CANNOT HEAR YOU!! YOU WILL HAVE TO SPEAK UP!! JUST WAIT UNTIL THE PUZZLE IS ACTIVATED!”

The tiles flashed, changing colors with startling speed. I could hear electricity coursing through the wiring. I was dazzled as everything flashed faster and faster, and then…

A bright pink trail (tiles that did nothing) blazing through red (impassible). Papyrus looked down at this innovation, face frozen. With one swift kick of his boots he sent himself spinning. Sans backed away to let his brother spin off into the distance. “Is he okay?” I asked, crossing over to his side.

“sure, yeah, don’t worry about it. happens all the time.”

“Aaaand that’s a lie.” I still looked concernedly after Papyrus. I knew that he would bounce back just fine, but for the moment he looked rather shocked.

“actually,” Sans abruptly switched topics, turning to face me, “that spaghetti from earlier… it wasn’t too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he’s been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he might even make something edible.”

“That’s mean,” I chastised.

“did you even try to eat the spaghetti?” he asked, hairless eyebrow quirked in skepticism.

“I poked it. A little.”

“uh-huh. yeah. that’s about the median consistency his pasta gest. it’s either rock hard or falling to pieces. take your pick. lesser of two really nasty evils.”

I felt a little bad gossiping about Papyrus behind his back, even if I knew Sans meant no harm by it. Unfortunately, I’m that type of person who keeps asking questions out of curiosity and tells myself that I’m not doing anything wrong as long as I’m not the one saying anything mean. Not a pleasant fact, but a true one. “So… how long has he been cooking?”

Sans huffed. “long enough. it takes a certain kind of skill to cook, and another kind of skill to cook that badly. ‘course, i shouldn’t be piling all the blame on him. his cooking teacher is a little bit…” He searched for a word. “…explosive.”

I nodded sagely. “I’m sure I’ll meet her sooner or later,” I said, and gave a wave goodbye.

“hang on… who said it was a ‘her’?”

I froze, turning back to the quizzical skeleton whose eyesockets were now narrowed in a dare. My own eyes were opened wide and I tried my best to act as if my expression was of confusion instead of disclosure. “I guess I was just picturing them as a woman,” I faltered.

“um… wow, kid.” Sans’s feet shifted in the snow, but his expression turned more teasing. “that’s really sexist. guys can work in the kitchen too, you know?”

“I know!” I went on self-justification mode. “My dad’s a great cook! Lots of guys I know can cook!”

Sans surveyed me coolly. “jeez, you get really defensive on the little stuff, don’t ya? might want to take a deep breath or two, calm yourself down a little.”

“Sorry,” I said, wincing and looking down. It was true – I thought of myself as a level-headed person, but the truth was that if anyone poked fun at me (like Sans constantly did) I would go up in arms about the most menial things. It usually only came out when somebody challenged a fandom or character that I liked. My passion would rise like a burning fire! But this ‘comedian’… he was somethin’ else!

“I… um… I don’t mean to… erupt like this. I- I know you’re just teasing, but…” I swiped my hand down my face with a short laugh. “I dunno.”

Now I was irritated for another reason. I was irritated at myself for getting called out like this. People would kill to be in my position right now, talking to Sans, and I had to turn every conversation into a fight? What kind of a dum-dum was I?

“no problem, kiddo.” It bugged me a little how heated I got while Sans stayed so calm. “just keep an eye on that temper of yours. i don’t want you to reenact vesuvius because someone says you have brown hair or something.”

I instinctively touched my hair, smiling wryly. “Gotcha.”

“just imagine…” Sans lazily cast his arm in a wide arc. “you blow the entire top off this mountain we’re all trapped under because somebody looks at you on accident.”

I snickered. Sans looked delighted. “hey, I finally got a genuine laugh out of you! it only took, what, fourteen tries?”

“Yes, yes, good on you. You’re very clever.”

I left a triumphant Sans alone in the snow, heading past a wildly working lesser dog who was doing his best to make as many long-necked snow dogs as possible while a judging cow in 70’s attire looked on scornfully. (And no, that sentence wasn’t weird at all.) The next Save Point twinkled happily up at me from the snow and I shivered at the sensation.

Knowing that Sans is a jerk and a weirdo sometimes but you can outlast him if you try hard enough fills you with Determination.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

The next puzzle was… difficult. Not just because I got started in the wrong place and had to start over again, but because it required some manual dexterity. You probably know what puzzle I’m talking about. Uh-huh. It’s the Ice-Rink Change the X’s into O’s challenge. And before you ask, yes, I did fall off the edge because I’m bad at ice skating and balancing, but the snow below was soft and I escaped with minimal damage. Papyrus’s snow figure – complete with red scarf – stood in a frozen gesture of triumph and I stole some determination from looking at it. Sans’s snow lump – complete with the scrawled red marker ink labelling it ‘sans’ – looked up at me disapprovingly. I half expected it to make a pun about falling. ‘wow, kid, i guess you really fell for me’ or something like that.

Stupid presumably judgmental snow lump.

Another attempt and the puzzle was solved. Letting out a deep breath I kicked out and slid from the gray button over the icy bridge that had just appeared and through a thick thatch of trees. After this large collection of prepositional phrases was complete, I stood on the other side, brushing snow and twigs from my hair, glad to have solid ground beneath my feet again.

Straight ahead was an incline – the path to Snowdin Town was fast approaching its end! But first I took a detour to the right, down southwards. There was a secret door I wanted to pry at.

Sans was at the bottom of the hill, back against the rugged cliff wall, for all appearances just enjoying the view. “what’s up?” he greeted as I came near.

“Not much!”

“cool.”

With that discussion over, I passed him by. A mere blink later – a literal blink – and he was in front of me again. Same position and everything, just a bit farther on. I came up to him again, a question in my eyes.

“are you lost?” he asked.

“Nnnnno….”

I peeked behind me. Sans was there in his last position. Now back at the Sans in front of me. This guy’s shortcuts were fast!

Before I could comment any more on this, I was ambushed by Gyftrot. He snuffled irritably as he pulled me into an Encounter, his front hoof tapping the ground. Gyftrot was absolutely covered in little Christmas decorations, from tinsel to ornaments to tiny little Christmas trees on the tip of each antler. And he looked absolutely miserable. He put off the same kind of vibe as an old man with a walker with blocked-up wheels, grumbling as he attempted to push it down the isle declining any assistance whatsoever, goshdarn it.

Well, even if he was resisting help, I might as well offer my services. “Are you alright?” I asked, wincing as a jangling bookmark ornament swung dangerously close to the Gyftrot’s eye. “Can I help you with anything?”

Some teens ‘decorated’ it as a prank. The ghostly words appeared in the air as the box appeared around me. Maybe what I had just done was under the realm of ‘checking’, I decided.

“Is this funny to you?” the Gyftrot grumbled, giving me the stink eye.

Snowflake-shaped attacks began to rain down from above. I did my best to dodge them, but they flurried down thick and fast. I was down to single-count HP by the end of his first attack. I sucked in air through my teeth, both because of the pain and the nasty situation I had just found myself in. I checked my inventory.

Are you kidding me? Just the Pie left???

“I don’t wanna use the Pie,” I whined to myself.

I also didn’t want to die, either. This would be the first time I died, if I died here. Even if it wasn’t permanent, something told me that dying wouldn’t be a pleasant experience. I bit my lip, looking at my 8 HP balance and judging how likely it would be for me to be hit in the next turn. I didn’t remember beating Gyftrot in my playthrough. I think I got killed by him and decided to ignore him or ran away. But now that I was here, neither of those seemed optional, especially when my opponent seemed so miserable himself.

“Okay, I’ll eat the Pie,” I grumbled, opening my inventory and eating it as quickly as possible, sending a mental thank you and apology to Toriel as I did so. “Alrighty, I’m ready,” I told the Gyftrot, readying myself for his next attack.

Below my feet, two square lights and one blue one shuffled themselves. I moved to try and position myself above the blue one, but twitched as it passed. A razer-sharp pain pierced my soul and I hissed again. Back down to 15 HP. Drat it.

Okay, so what was I supposed to do with the Gyftrot? Undecorate it, right?

“Here, let me help you with that,” I said, moving forward and taking off the precariously swinging bookmark that had been bugging me for our entire Encounter.

The Gyftrot loosened up somewhat. “That’s a little better…” he admitted.

But he still attacked. I was hit by several more attacks, bringing me down to 2 HP. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Drat it, drat it, drat it! I was going to die!

I looked past the Gyftrot to where the skeleton was standing back in position one. Sans had been alternating between watching the fight and staring out into the distance in a completely uninterested manner. He gave me a thumbs-up and a nod.

Confound it, didn’t he know I was going to die???

I reached out to pull the wreath off Gyftrot’s neck. My turn was over. The box closed in around me. A cold feeling of hopeless dread settled in my stomach.

But nobody came.

That was my last thought as a white present bore up toward me. I ducked to the side, anxious to let it pass me, aiming for the blue present but knowing that I couldn’t move in time. I’d like to think that the last thing I heard was Sans warping to my location and the blink of darkness I saw was him taking a shortcut a moment too late, but the truth was that everything was swallowed up in a sudden numb pain as my HP hit zero and I felt my soul break apart into shards.

It’s a strange feeling being nothing. Nothing surrounded me and I joined it. Only shards of memory swam around and through the emptiness. I could hear music – a dim, lilting thing that swam with a familiar tune. I could hear voices. Sometimes I thought I recognized them. Other times I felt as if I could reach out and touch the people who were talking to me. I was no longer myself. I was someone else entirely.

“You cannot give up just yet,” murmured a deep, rumbling voice, louder than the others. “Chara! Stay determined.”

The plea was spoken with such heartfelt wistfulness that it made my soul swell. I could feel the hope and promise blossom inside me, pulling me back together. More than anything I wanted to obey the voice. I will, I wanted to say. I promise I won’t give up. Let me have one more chance and I’ll prove it to you. I will be better next time.

I promise.

I reached out.

I started as if I had been asleep. The Save Point stood before me, Lesser Dog still working maniacally to build as many long-necked snow dogs as possible. I drew in a long, shaky breath, looking down at my gloved hands as if to ensure that I was real.

It was all like a bad dream.

I shuddered, crossing my arms tight against my chest and setting back towards the place where I had died. Like a bad dream, yes. But also no. It had actually happened. I had died. It had hurt! And Sans… he hadn’t helped me.

As scary as it was that I had died and come back in time to try again, the fact that Sans had stood there and done nothing while Gyftrot pummeled me with attacks made my heart sting. I bit the inside of my cheek as I skidded out onto the ice to re-solve the puzzle, my brows creased in a frown. It was one thing to be slightly offended from his teasing jokes. It was a whole other thing to have him ignore you – or worse, give you a thumbs-up! – while you died.

He knew you would come back, the more sympathetic part of my brain said. He knew that whether he helped you or not, you would come back to life. You didn’t really need his help, now, did you?

I would’ve appreciated it. I have a bad habit of silently mouthing my inner arguments when nobody else was around. I did this now, my brow still furrowed. If that stupid skeleton really wanted us to be friends, he could have at least interjected or distracted the Gyftrot. Or something. ANYTHING, really.

Would I have done the same for him? The question stuck in my head as I headed back to resave after the puzzle was completed, just in case I died again. If somebody attacked Sans and I saw him dodging all over the place trying to avoid getting hit, would I intervene or just assume he’s invincible?

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Maybe that’s what he felt about me.

What, that I was invincible? I kicked at some snow on my way past, irritated all over again.

No, but maybe he thought that I knew what I was doing. He was right, in a way, but maybe he couldn’t see my HP from where he was standing. Maybe he thought I was fine.

But no, he must have seen how many hits I was taking! I threw this thought out the window and tried again. Okay, so maybe not that, but he must’ve thought that I would do something to get out of my situation. Like running away once my HP hit 2. That would’ve been sensible. Suggested, even. But did I? Nooooo. Didn’t even think about it. Just kept plugging along and got hit with a magic present-shaped attack because I panic when I see no way to avoid it.

Now I was irritated more at myself than Sans. Well, maybe we both goofed up, I mouthed to myself, nodding and preparing to skid through to the other side of the thicket. Maybe I should cut him some slack. After all, from his perspective it never happened, right?

Right. Best to act like it never happened.

Now. I stood at the fork in the road, wondering which path to take. Back to the Gyftrot and possible death, or up to Snowdin?

I didn’t need to fight the Gyftrot anyway, did I? Just because I hadn’t beaten him in my playthrough didn’t mean that I had to make up for it now. I should just put my pride to the side and…

An image flashed in my mind’s eye: the Gyftrot pawing the ground and shaking his head in a futile effort to knock the decorations off. If I wasn’t going to undecorate him… who would? Not Sans, definitely. With a long-suffering groan, I headed down the slope. Drat my compassionate heart.

“what’s up?”

Sans was grinning at me as if nothing was wrong. I was glad that the puzzle stood between us and had given me time to cool my head, otherwise that oblivious skeleton would have been overwhelmed with a heaping boatload of sass.

I’m a polite person. That I can definitely say. I was raised to be nice and polite. So when I get irritated at someone and want to get at them, my weapon of choice is a little something called passive aggressiveness. I think I used it before with Flowey, pretending to be innocent and using massive sarcasm just to give myself an edge. Passive aggression is nice because it goes over most people’s heads. I don’t really want to get into a fight. Just shoot arrows in their direction. However, since it is my weapon of choice, I can recognize it straight-up if someone tries to use it on me. A shrug and flippant comment that might not phase most people I go up in arms about. Oh, I know what you were doing there! You were being mean and thinking I wouldn’t notice. Two can play at this game! You wanna go, buddy? You wanna go??

But I digress.

Getting back to the major point: if I hadn’t let myself cool off, I would have swamped Sans with passive aggressive comments to get back at him, which probably wouldn’t have gone well because he would’ve seen through that in a heartbeat because he probably fought with passive aggression too. In short, it would have been a mess. As it was, however, I simply reminded myself that he didn’t know what had happened, forced a smile, spread my arms wide, and answered, “not much. You?”

“not much,” he returned, readjusting his position, “although, there is an angry gyftrot wandering around down here. watch yourself, okay kiddo?”

“I will keep that in mind,” I said with a little more pointedness than was strictly necessary. Hopefully my sarcasm wasn’t too obvious. Oops.

I nodded farewell, blinked as he appeared up ahead as soon as I turned around, and waited for the Gyftrot. I didn’t have to wait long. He came out of a divot in the cliff, clinking and clanking and shaking his head back and forth, fixing his beady eyes on me and pulling me into a Fight without so much as a how-de-doo.

Nice to meet you too, sir.

I ended up having to eat the Pie. I promised myself to stock up on all the Cinnamon Bunnies and Bisicles I could when I reached the town. No use hoarding all the G. Wasn’t doing any good in my pocket. I wondered belatedly what time it was. I had left Toriel’s at about nine, nine-thirty-ish. I hadn’t really paid much attention to the passage of time as I traveled, although it definitely took longer to get from place to place than in the game.

The easy answer was that I didn’t know what time it was. I would check my phone when I finished the Fight. If I thought of it. Which I wouldn’t. We all knew I would forget.

Spoiler alert: I forgot.

Gyftrot was easily spared once I took all the decorations off him. It took three turns – four, if you count the Butterscotch Pie consumption. I was back down to 5 HP when Gyftrot shook himself and walked back into the shadows, looking much lighter and happier without so many decorations holding him down.

I let out a sigh and nudged some discarded garland with my toe, continuing across the cliffside to investigate the mysterious door inside the cliff wall. I couldn’t help shooting out after Sans as I passed, “Thanks for the help.”

“what?” he returned. “i thought you did great. really got your exercise quota done for the day, didn’t you.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.” I didn’t smile as I passed him by, however. Guess I was still a little sore.

The cave in the mountainside was formed from a large, rugged hole. It went straight in, no twists or turns. Little floating lights lit the way and it grew progressively warmer as I went further in. Glowing mushrooms began to sprout along the walls as the snow completely disappeared, and four big patches stood in a semi-circle as the tunnel ended in a chamber – a huge locked door the only occupant. I placed my hands against it, my nails questing for a way to pull it open, but it never did. Giving a sigh, I left, not wishing to wait for the other optional boss that I knew would appear sooner or later. Gyftrot was quite enough.

Feeling a little bad for my previous behavior, I shot Sans an apologetic grin as I passed him (twice) on the way back toward the main road. He didn’t seem too disturbed, however, and I hoped that he hadn’t read anything weird out of what had just gone on.

After climbing both slopes, the snowy land opened out onto (yet another) plateau, this one covered in what I could only assume were Snow Poffs. I had never heard of a Snow Poff before Undertale – who knew if they actually were a thing in the real world – but their fluffy whiteness really added to the atmosphere. In the middle of the Poff field was a tiny doghouse, a perfect size for a smaller dog. The sign outside merely read ‘woof’.

Passing by, I heard a yip from what I had previously assumed to be another Snow Poff and examined it more closely to see a happily barking white head pop out from the snow. “Well, hi there!” I cooed, squatting for as long as it decided to stay at knee level. Which wasn’t long, for a couple panted breaths later – from the dog, not from me, just to clarify – the rest of the dog erupted from the snow. All eight feet of him, garbed in shining silver armor. The dog’s head peered down at me from on high, and I have to say that he still looked adorable.

I was pulled into Fight Mode and the Dog music (still didn’t know the name of the tracks!!!) began to play. Even though Greater Dog – for so he was named – was adorable, his size, spear, and armor were all rather intimidating. I didn’t want to be in this Fight very long, due to my 5 HP, so I pulled out the stick and watched the enormous armor-plated dog bound after it, burying his white muzzle in the snow and bringing the stick back to me, wet and nearly bitten in half.

The Greater Dog’s attack was in the shape of a little white dog – much like himself – which appeared to be sleeping, but whose eyes forcefully popped open and barked, the word ‘bark’ appearing in white with his every exclamation. They were quick attacks, too. I barely dodged them. I spared immediately after his turn was ended.

Greater Dog jumped out of his armor and put his snowy front paws on my shoulders to gift me with a lick to the chin, then jumped back into his armor until the only thing protruding from the neck of the breastplate was his white tail, bobbing into the distance. Not gonna lie, it was… slightly disturbing.

I continued onwards and was soon hailed by the sight of a cavernous gorge, a rope bridge the only safe way across, the further end lost in a swirling mist. Although I knew it to be safe, I tapped the bridge with my foot before embarking. Solid as a rock.

Actually… come to think of it, could it be a rock? I leaned over and tapped it with my hand. Yep. This bridge was only painted to look like wooden slats. Slightly reassured, although bemused, I grabbed onto the rope handrails and began my journey across the gap. The bridge ahead cleared somewhat as the mist dissipated and soon enough I could see two familiar figures perched on the other side of the gorge which turned to greet me as I approached.

“ HUMAN!” cried Papyrus as he spotted me. “ THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!”

With these words, many lethal instruments lowered themselves from the cavern ceiling: cannons, spears, a mace, a blowtorch, and a suspended dog that looked a lot like Greater Dog’s attack. I would have been concerned had its expression not been one of bliss.

“ WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE!!!” declared Papyrus. “ CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!!”

“Sounds challenging,” I agreed, observing the danger around me with respectable calm.

Alright, I was calm because I knew there wasn’t any real danger, you happy? Otherwise I would have been a little bit intimidated, but hey, so would you if you were a thousand feet up in the air with an Annoying Dog coming at your face.

“ ARE YOU READY!?”

“Yes!” I called back.

“ BECAUSE!” Papyrus took a stance. “ I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!”

I readied myself, but nothing happened. I kept my eyes fixed on Papyrus’s face, which became suddenly unsure. He lowered his eyes, his mittened fingers twisting. Sans pulled on his elbow to turn him around. “well?” I heard him say in a low voice. “what’s the holdup?”

“ HOLDUP!?” echoed Papyrus in a very not low voice. “ WHAT HOLDUP!? I’M… I’M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!”

They both faced me again, but Papyrus still had that unsure look in his sockets. Sans looked borderline concerned. My eyes flicked between the two of them, then back up to the dangling dog. Nope. He was still good.

“that, uh, doesn’t look very activated,” Sans commented after a second or two had passed.

“ WELL!!!” bellowed his brother. “ THIS CHALLENGE!!!” He faltered for a moment. “ IT SEEMS… MAYBE… TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH.”

“Not enough challenge, you mean?” I prompted.

“ YEAH!” Papyrus agreed heartily, at full tilt again now that he had found his alibi. “ WE CAN’T USE THIS ONE!!! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS!!! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!”

He waved his hand and the gauntlet of deadly terror was pulled back into the ceiling and the cliffside where it would be pulled out – I was sure – for a different human should one arrive. Or if Sans wanted to pull a prank on someone. Who knew?

I shrugged, nodding, trying not to act as if this was convenient nor inconvenient. I was accepting Papyrus’s decision as a guard of the town, wise and fair. “Alrighty,” I said, continuing across. Papyrus had turned his back to me and stood with head lowered, a gentle sigh escaping his teeth. I heard it as my feet reached solid ground. A sigh of… relief? Disappointment? I shot a look at Sans. His bony brows were creased. “Pap’rus?” I inquired gently, my hand reaching up to almost touch his arm. I don’t know why my brain insisted on calling him Pap’rus. I knew his name was Pa-PY-rus (I had googled it. Everyone pronounced it that way. It had to be true) but somehow omitting that syllable made it sound all that more gentle.

Papyrus started at my soft question and wheeled around. I took a step backward, startled by his flying red cape. He looked from me to Sans and back again, his hands clenching into fists. “ WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?” he demanded, suddenly as defensive as I had been when Sans questioned my tactics. “ THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS!! NYEH! HEH!”

He took a step back.

“ HEH?”

He ran off toward the town, but a bit more thoughtfully than his usual headlong pelt.

“Okay, seriously, is he okay?” I asked Sans. I knew Papyrus would rebound – I had played the game before, hello! – but in this moment the taller skeleton seemed really…

Oh, wait. I could use this one.

“He looks really… rattled.” I was happy to hear a rimshot echo out over the gorge at my pun. Sans perked up a bit.

“heh. good one.” And then he sobered. “but seriously, kid… i don’t know what my brother’s going to do, now. if i were you, i would make sure i understand—"

if you keep going the way you are now…

…

you’re gonna have a bad time.

“—blue attacks.”

I jumped slightly, having the weirdest feeling in my head, like I had just zoned out, but in a bad way. Like I had… passed out? For a second?? There was a weird, queasy feeling in my stomach – the feeling of dread – but also of steel-hard resolve. I shivered, suddenly nauseated, trying not to think too hard about the sudden sight of lightless, hollow sockets and the feeling of space warping right in front of my face.

“hey, kiddo. you doing alright?” Sans was peering at me in some concern. His hand was out of his pocket, hanging by his side. Just that small movement made him seem so much less relaxed, but he obviously hadn’t sensed what I had.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” That was the automatic answer, so was the smile and the brushing away of the clinging thoughts and feelings of dread. “But thank you.” That was genuine. He actually sounded like he cared.

I wondered if he did, or if he too had been on automatic.

“ok. just making sure. you looked kinda freaked out there for a second.”

“I think I just zoned out,” I said. That was what I was going with until I found a better explanation.

“ok,” Sans said again. His pupils bore into mine. “well, like i was saying… blue attacks. don’t forget ‘em.”

“I won’t,” I promised, giving a wave as I began heading toward the town. “And thank you!”

“no problem, kiddo.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

I always liked the music in Snowdin Town. It perked up as I passed Sans, jingling in the still, wintry air like a Christmas tune. If Jack Skellington had been dropped here all of a sudden and started singing ‘What’s This’, the setting would fit perfectly.

I wondered what Papyrus would look like, singing ‘What’s This’ at the top of his lungs. The thought made me grin. Drat, now I wanted to see that!

Beside the banner that read ‘Welcome to Snowdin’ was the first establishment – a shop. I walked in through the door and was greeted by a blast of warm air and the smell of freshly baked pastries. A variety of groceries, personal items, clothes, and items stood around the store, ready to be purchased at a moment’s notice. A friendly-looking purple rabbit monster came out of the back room, tamping down a straw hat on top of her ears, coming to stand behind the counter. I walked all the way inside and was greeted with a smile, which I returned in equal measure.

“Hello, traveler!” she said in a voice as warm as honey. “How can I help you?”

“Hi! I returned, waving a hand at my surroundings. “I’m just looking around.”

This place was made more interesting by the fact that you couldn’t see anything but the rabbit lady and the oddities behind the counter when you were in the game. Here IRL you could breathe in the scent of baked goodies mixed with the smell of herbs and ripe tomatoes. You could tap your feet on wooden boards. You could even see the little bell that hung over the door that jingled when it let you in.

Marvelous.

“Oh, of course!” exclaimed the owner. “Welcome to Snowdin, hon. I can’t remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here. Where did you come from? The capital?”

“Nah.” I brushed it aside, then decided to add, “I live in a little place not far from the capital.”

Not a lie. I lived an hour from my STATE capital, after all.

“I see,” the lady nodded. “You don’t look like a tourist. Are you here by yourself?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, some of those skeletons have been helping me along, but…” I shrugged. “Yeah, they haven’t been traveling with me.”

“Oh, those boys,” she smiled to herself. “If you’re bored, watching those wacky skeletons do their thing really makes the time fly by. There’s two of them… brothers, I think.”

“Yup, that’s right.”

“They just showed up one day and… asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then,” she ended with a laugh. I laughed with her.

“I’m sure it has.”

The rabbit lady swiped a finger over some flour on the counter, brushing it off onto the floor. “Well, have you decided on anything?”

I didn’t quite know the protocol of videogame purchases. Could I just buy a tomato if I felt like it? Or did I have to buy from a certain section only? After a garbled moment of confusion, the lady took pity on me. “Hold up, sugar. Let me help you out.”

From behind the counter she pulled out four separate items. The names appeared in front of them as they appeared: Tough Glove, Manly Bandanna, Bisicle, and Cinnamon Bun. A tag on each said what each one of them cost as well as the properties of each.

“Thank you so much,” I said, examining each item in turn, feeling mightily relieved.

“No problem, sugar.”

“Umm…” I mused over my options. Slowly I raised my hand and tapped two fingers down between the consumables. “I’ll take two of the Bisicle and one Cinnamon Bun.”

“Thanks for your purchase,” said the bunny as she snipped off the price tag, instantly depleting my G count, and handing the items to me. I put them in my inventory, thanking her right back. I thought about asking for one more Bisicle, but decided that it wouldn’t be too much of a tragedy if I ate half of one I already had. I was still only at five hitpoints, after all.

“I’ll probably be back soon enough,” I told her wryly, heading back out the door. “I’ll see you later, ok? You have a nice day!”

“Bye now!” she called after me. “Come back any time!”

I saved as soon as I got outside, the friendly town filling me with Determination. I liked small towns. There was something really homey about being in a place where everyone knew everybody else. The cold air felt nice after being inside the warm shop, and I treated myself to one half of a Bisicle as I put the Stick and the Snowman Piece into the box along with the toy knife and the Spider Donut. The Bisicle half was good – not as good as the nice cream, however – and it was gone far too quickly.

Come to think of it, I was still hungry. What time was it, anyway? I pulled out my phone and checked the time. “Twelve Twenty-Eight!” I exclaimed softly. No wonder I was hungry. Well, Papyrus’s fight would probably fix that. I’d have to eat plenty to keep my HP level up.

But before that, I’d have to explore the town! After all, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to walk through the streets of Snowdin! I thought again of how envious other Undertale fans would be if they knew where I was right now. It almost made me feel guilty knowing how much I didn’t deserve this. Then again, I thought, grinning as I gazed up at the Gryftmas Tree with a tidy pile of presents sitting underneath its verdant boughs, ‘true’ Undertale fans might be sorely disappointed with an Undertale that didn’t stand up to the fantasy dream they had expected it to be. Like having it hurt when your Hit Points were depleted. Or having a Sans who wouldn’t gallantly swing in to the rescue when he was in seeing distance of your Fight. I bet that most fangirls would have broken down crying at that point. Me being me, I just got mad, not heartbroken.

On the other side of the Gryftmas Tree was Monster Kid, prodding a present with his claw and acting sneaky. He (she? They?) jumped when he saw me looking and gave me a toothy grin. “Yo!” (I’m going to go with ‘he’) exclaimed, “You’re a kid too, right? I can tell ‘cause you’re wearing a striped shirt.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer this query, or if it was horrendously inappropriate to be wearing a striped shirt at my age, but the kid didn’t stop to let me answer. “I wonder if that weird skeleton is an adult or a kid,” he added, quickly switching off his original question.

“He’s an adult,” I said automatically, adding protectively, “and he’s not weird.” It only occurred to me later that I assumed he was talking about Papyrus.

“You’ve met him? Yo, that’s so cool!” The kid was immediately distracted again. “You get to meet a lot of different people around town, ha ha! Well, I’m not gonna stop you. See you later!”

“See you later,” I returned with a wave, continuing on my way.

Since you’ve probably seen Snowdin for yourself in the game, I won’t bore you with descriptions of everything I saw since everything is pretty much the same. Let me just say a few small details that you can really only enjoy when you’re there. First, the air smells cold, but there’s no breeze blowing. Depending on where you are, it can smell like chimney smoke, cinnamon and hot chocolate (that’s right by the tree), or hamburgers. If you stand in just the right position near Grillby’s, you can get all those smells all at once.

Secondly, I didn’t get the ‘wrong number’ song when I stood near the river up north. All I could hear was the rush of water and my own thoughts.

Thirdly, the books in the Librarby were all surprisingly uninformative. Most of them were informational books on puzzles, dating, cooking, and other skill-based activities. I read nothing new history-wise, which was disappointing, to say the least.

All the dogs are happy to see you at Grillby’s, except for Doggo, but he still likes being petted. Lesser Dog is too interested in his poker game against himself to extend his neck if you pet him. It’s warm in there – the perfect place to take your hands out of your gloves and defrost for a bit. I’ll describe it more later.

The wolf-man throwing ice cubes down the river glares at you if you try to talk to him and clenches the ice block between his hands as if threatening that he’ll do the same to you if you don’t shove off. I did so with haste.

The rocks to the west of the wolf-man’s location jiggled as they talked, making rocky shifting noises as they moved. It’s REALLY weird to see and makes you reconsider stepping on stones ever again.

The two igloos on opposite sides of town are connected with an underground slide that took you from one to the other. It’s almost claustrophobic when you’re whizzing from one to the other in an ice tube almost as big as yourself, but hey, if it works it works.

Nobody answers the door at Sans and Papyrus’s house, even if you offer girl scout cookies. Shame.

With the entire town explored, I took a deep breath and delved into the curtain of fog and swirling snow that divided Snowdin from Waterfall. It really was a strange fog, made out of those tiny little droplets that you can’t see, but can feel every individual drop landing like pinpricks on your cheeks and nose. The fog was dense as soup. I couldn’t see anything to either side and had to trust the road to not dump me into the river to my left.

It took several minutes of walking before a shadowy figure appeared before me, shrouded by mist and almost intangible. Even with few cues to go by, I recognized his form and his voice when he began to speak.

“HUMAN,” he began, not quite as pompously as he usually spoke. He was actually ending his sentences in periods instead of exclamation points. All in all, he sounded very solemn. “ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE… THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER’S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS… THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!!!”

This sentence was always a bit jolting to me. Oh, right, he was talking about me, not him. I had forgotten again the twist in this and was left thinking it over. “Well, you’re not wrong,” I said.

“OF COURSE NOT!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM NEVER WRONG! YOU ARE AN OPEN BOOK, AND I HAVE READ YOU LIKE A PAGE. I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON’T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU… LONELY HUMAN…” He trailed off and I could picture him staring at me through the mist with compassion in his sockets. I wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or annoyed. He meant it to be sweet, so I decided to feel grateful. “WORRY NOT!!!” he cried, at full volume yet again. “YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR…”

He stopped, his upraised arm faltering. “Pa- Papyrus?” I asked, stopping myself from using his abbreviated name. After all, this did seem like a very solemn moment.

“NO…” Papyrus said quietly after a long pause. He continued on more strongly, “NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND!!! YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU!!! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM!!! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS!!! THAT’S PAPYRUS!!! THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!!”

I was pulled into a Fight and Papyrus came into clear view. He stood before me in black-and-white, chest jutted out and chin tucked in, one hand on his hip and the other extended by his side, palm down. He was the very picture of confidence, skeletal brow lowered but smiling nonetheless, a challenge in his sockets.

Flirt.

Another thing you should know about me: I’m something of an overthinker. When I think something’s about to happen, I play it over and over in my brain, planning out what to say or do in that circumstance. Unfortunately, either that circumstance never happens or I do a very bad job of playing out my plan, but either way my overthinking doesn’t usually end well. But this time I knew for certain what would be happening and had done my best to think up a pickup line before entering the battle so I could flirt to full capacity without having to rely to on-the-fly seduction techniques.

Wish me luck, boys, here I go.

I raised a shoulder, brushing my hair back behind my ear, looking up through my long lashes. “Well, I guess if we can’t be friends, that just leaves us open to be something else instead…?” I teasingly blew him a kiss and shot him a smile.

Good Lord, I was so glad that my mom wasn’t watching. Not that this was hard-core flirtation or anything, just… wow. I hoped I hadn’t looked too stupid. Even though it was cold outside, I felt hot all over.

Poor Papyrus really seemed taken aback. His confident poise faltered and he stuttered. “WHAT!? FL- FLIRTING!? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS!”

“What can I say?” I shrugged, still trying to act flirtatious. “You… intrigue me. You make me feel…” I paused, searching for a good ending to this line. “…Alive. Absolutely full of life.”

“W- WELL,” Papyrus stammered, “I’M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!!!”

“I can make spaghetti and I can solve puzzles,” I blurted, knowing the proper answer, but somehow spilling out the second answer without thinking.

“OH NO!!!” the skeleton exclaimed. “YOU’RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS!!! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…?”

“I would love that!”

Papyrus seemed even more dismayed by my answer, waving his hands in a ‘calm down’ gesture before returning to his pose. “LET’S DATE L- LATER! AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!”

With that, he began to attack.

His first attack was excessively easy. A line of white bones zig-zagged over the ground. I merely hovered over them, kept aloft by soul power. I returned to earth again as his turn ended. “Well,” I said, sighing and putting my Tough Gloves behind my back so they could not be a threat, “I really don’t want to fight you, so…” I shrugged.

“SO YOU WON’T FIGHT,” Papyrus frowned. “THEN, LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED ‘BLUE ATTACK’!”

Again, easy. I just hovered, staying as still as possible, allowing the blue attacks to drift through me. I still hated letting the attacks go through me like this, but it was still horrendously easy. Then it wasn’t anymore. Papyrus twisted his hand and I felt gravity take hold, my chest shining with a blue light as I was pulled to the ground. I staggered, trying to regain my footing, and as I fumbled a surprise attack hit me in the back. “Ow!” I yelped.

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW,” said Papyrus, looking smug. “THAT’S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!” He threw his head back in a long cackle.

“So, gravity magic?” I inquired, steadying my stance. The strong beat of Bonetrousle (that track name I knew!) kicked up into high gear as the Fight finally began.

“THAT’S RIGHT!”

I shrugged. “Cool. Um…” I thought through my options. “I’m still not going to fight you, though.”

“HMM…” Papyrus’s eyesockets narrowed and his gaze grew hazy. “I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD WEAR…”

Was he really that serious over the date thing? I was flattered. But I didn’t have much time to muse over it. Papyrus’s attacks came at me through the snow, honing in on my position. I jumped over them, still floating higher than I regularly would had I been out of a Fight, but being drawn back to the ground after each leap. His first attack was easy – he had probably made it that way on purpose – and all the bones missed me.

“Still not fighting,” I sing-songed.

Papyrus was snapped out of his reverie, dropping a container of some kind of powder he had been applying to his skull and resuming his ready stance, blurting, “WHAT!? I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!!”

“Sure you’re not,” I laughed, jumping over his next onslaught of attacks. The nice thing about using Soul Power to move during a fight is that you don’t get nearly so tired. I had been jumping around like a frog, but I still wasn’t panting for breath.

Now, since you’ve seen Papyrus’s fight before, I’m sure, I’m going to give you a runthrough without the interruption of Papyrus shouting things like, “YEAH! DON’T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!!” before each turn. I held my own pretty well, considering that I had been absolutely rotten at this fight on the other side of the screen, but the blue attacks still threw me for a loop. I kept flinching as they passed through my soul, or staying still too long and being hit by the next white attack. Besides the blue attacks, the next tricky things were normal bones that came up from behind. When you’re beyond the fourth wall, you don’t have to worry about that because you can see from a top-down view, but when you’re in the box yourself, suddenly it becomes a lot more tricky to avoid attacks sneaking up from behind you. Normally it would be easy to hear them coming, but with Bonetrousle blaring out over the forest, the beat echoing in your chest, it was a bit harder.

Interestingly enough, bone attacks seemed to have a bit of a physical punch to them. Not that they hurt too badly, but they did have a bit of a ‘thwomp’ if you know what I mean. His disappeared as soon as they hit me, but I couldn’t help wondering if I’d develop a few bruises later down the line.

I cut it close a few times, but my Bisicle and a half got me through most of the fight. Thankfully, this was one fight where I just had to outlast him, not do something each turn to keep it rolling. But then something happened that turned the tides of our Encounter and inevitably led to my defeat.

The first I knew of it was a knot in my chest that made my breath falter and a thought – pure but uninvited – of Papyrus standing in the mist, sounding exceptionally irritated. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST: YOU’RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!” I could hear every word, but everything seemed incredibly disjointed. I couldn’t feel my body. It was as if I was seeing through somebody else’s eyes. All I could feel was my own sense of dread and – strangely – a queer desire. A sense of power and purpose. I was so much stronger than I had been a moment before.

I shook my head and suddenly the dream was just that: a dream. “I… I’m not going to fight you,” I stammered to Papyrus, who had just by the looks of it discovered that he didn’t HAVE ears to dab beauty products and cologne behind. But as his attack commenced, the vision resumed and this time the shrouded Papyrus had quieted. He was no longer irritated, but understanding. “ANYONE CAN BE A GOOD PERSON IF THEY TRY!” I heard him say. “AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!!!” His laugh rang out, but I could tell the body I was in was hardly paying attention. I could feel Their Determination, Their cruel intent, but I was powerless to do anything as They stepped forward. I didn’t even try.

“HEY, QUIT MOVING!” the skeleton snapped. “THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS… WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!”

I was numb. Even though I could feel the emotions pulsing around me, those the body felt, the only thing I could feel was dread. But the dread mixed with the excitement They felt, like a shark that sensed blood in the water. They stepped forward yet again.

I never knew what hit me, but I assume it was an exceptionally normal attack that brought me down to a single Hit Point and I fell gasping to my knees, feeling the metaphorical thread of life that bound my soul to my body shivering in sudden nakedness. The jolt of waking made me even more confused than normal. Wasn’t Papyrus just offering me help? No, we were fighting! Or, rather, had been fighting. He had just defeated me.

“YOU’RE TOO WEAK!!!” Papyrus declared. I heard him through ringing ears. “I WAS EASILY ABLE TO CAPTURE YOU!!!”

“Don’t rub it in,” I muttered, my still-blue soul forcing me to remain on my knees. I was sure if I were to rise that I would fall back to the ground again. Even in a lowered position, black spots danced before my eyes. Again with these stupid visions? Where were they coming from? And why in the middle of a Fight of all places?

“I WILL NOW SEND YOU TO THE CAPTURE ZONE!!” Papyrus announced. I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him marching toward me, snow crunching beneath his red boots. “OR, AS SANS CALLS IT… OUR GARAGE???” He paused for a second only. “YOU’RE IN THE DOGHOUSE NOW!”

The last thing I heard before I blacked out completely was Papyrus’s laugh.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

“I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!”

Papyrus stood with arms outstretched, no longer shrouded in mist. But I could feel this body’s malevolence, the tightening in Their hands. Forgettable, was the thought that echoed through my mind. I could feel Them tense for attack. Where was I? What was this? What was happening? The thought to try and stop this madness never occurred to me, even as the body swung.

Papyrus’s head toppled off, his open arms fumbling to try and catch the head before it hit the ground. He missed. It lay in the snow. “W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED…” the disjointed head of Papyrus stammered. All at once, his battle body sagged, thin wisps falling from its joints as the form inside turned to dust. I couldn’t feel anything.

“BUT… ST… STILL!” the head was obviously having trouble speaking, but continued doggedly on. “I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I… I PROMISE…”

Why didn’t someone do something? Why didn’t somebody stop this? I didn’t want to watch this anymore. I could see cracks appear in Papyrus’s skull, could see him start to dust.

No. No! I wanted out! Get me out of here!

Get

Me

Out!

I awoke to the smell of old dog biscuits and old wood boards. I sat bolt upright, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat, clutching my arms just to be certain that I had control over them again. A nightmare. That’s all it was. Just a nightmare.

But hadn’t I been dreaming when I fought Papyrus? Didn’t I start dreaming before I slept?

Very much like a dream, it was fading away. But still I trembled. Was this karma coming to get me, reminding me of what could have been if I had taken a different path?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the emptiness inside the Capture Zone. The apology stuck in my throat. No tears fell, but I felt as if I might cry. “It won’t happen. I won’t let it happen.” My heart hurt. I clutched at my chest, leaning over and letting my hair fall over my eyes.

Don’t let it be real.

It’s not. It’s not real. I chose a different path.

Come on. Time to get up.

I rose to my feet, feeling weak after the strength I had felt in my dream. LV did give you power, I guessed, but it was too steep a price to pay. Come to think of it, I wasn’t nearly as weak as I was before. I checked my HP. Maxed out. Papyrus – I guessed it was he who put me here – had healed me while I was asleep. He had also laid my head on a dog bed, which could only serve as a pillow because it was much too small for the rest of me.

Papyrus was such a nice guy, I considered, observing the rest of the room: a couple cracked windows letting through scant light, wooden bars that any animal smaller than a bear could fit through, and for entertainment, a bowl full of dog food and a rubber bone.

For someone who hates dogs, Papyrus sure has a lot of dog themed stuff. Maybe this all is Sans’s, I considered. Maybe he hid this all up here until Papyrus came in here and decided it would do well for me. He better not think of me as his pet.

Mmm, maybe not, I decided, picking up a note in Papyrus’s thin, spidery handwriting. It read:

SORRY, I HAVE TO LOCK YOU IN THE GUEST ROOM UNTIL UNDYNE ARRIVES. FEEL FREE TO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME!!!

Guest room? I looked around. Poor guest.

REFRESHMENTS AND ACCOMODATIONS HAVE BEEN PROVIDED.

-- NYEHFULLY YOURS, PAPYRUS

These guys really didn’t know the first thing about humans, I thought, shaking my head and reevaluating the dog food. Well, even if he was being polite about it, I wasn’t about to stick around and wait for Undyne to pick me up. Without even having to squeeze, I walked through the wooden bars. The door to outside was unlocked, and not a moment later I stood outside the shed, back in the cold crispness of the afternoon.

How long had I been out? I hoped it hadn’t been long. I took the igloo back to the other side of town to get more supplies, sheepishly buying two more bisicles from the rabbit lady, who didn’t seem too concerned with me buying her out of sweets. I was grateful for this, but chose not to use the igloo on the way back toward Waterfall.

Would I get those visions again this time around or was it just a one-time thing? My stomach twisted a little bit in anticipation. It was almost a surprise to hear Papyrus shuffling around in the fog, muttering to himself, “OH, WHERE COULD THAT HUMAN HAVE GONE…”

I felt strangely relieved, as if that genocidal nightmare could have been true, or if I had somehow killed Papyrus in my sleep. The bulk of my unease went away and I called out, “I’m here!”

The shadowy figure of Papyrus whirled around. “…WAIT… IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!” he exclaimed in apparent relief. “HELLO! I WAS WORRIED YOU HAD GOTTEN LOST!”

“Nope!” I called back. “Just stocking up on a few more items before we continue.”

“WELL, IT SURE IS A RELIEF TO KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT HERE...” Papyrus paused. “…WAIT A SECOND!!!” he bellowed. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ESCAPE!!!”

“Um… whoops,” I grinned.

“GET BACK THERE!!!”

“Uh, no!”

Papyrus made a disgusted grunt and pulled me back into Fight Mode again.

“We still on for a date later, though?” I suggested.

“LATER, LATER!!!” Papyrus insisted. “AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!!!”

“But you already did capture me!”

Despite this, Papyrus commenced his attacks. I sighed through my nose and resumed dodging.

No strange visions plagued me during this fight, and for that I was extremely grateful. Papyrus’s attacks were challenging enough without blacking out halfway. I stayed mostly quiet while Papyrus thundered on about how great he would be once he was part of the Royal Guard, how Undyne would be proud of him, yada yada yada.

“I’LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS, BUT… WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU?” he questioned in between attacks.

“See, that’s the thing about fame,” I said, bouncing between bones. “You never know who’s really on your side and who’s just there to take advantage of you.”

“HMM…” Papyrus seemed to consider this, his brows lowering. “SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE…”

Yep. Literally out of this world. I didn’t say this out loud, but I thought it as I jumped around his next attack.

“…AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD…”

“What? You’re turning down a challenge?” I demanded, gulping down another bisicle half.

“OF COURSE NOT!!! I JUST MEANT HARD AFTER YOU’RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY!”

“Oh.” I might have said something else, but his next attack was particularly difficult to dodge, so I attended to that instead of thinking of a better reply.

He spent his next few turns threatening me with his ‘special attack’, which I kept saying I would love to see. We spent some time bantering about whether I really did want to see it, how brave I was for facing certain doom (meaning the attack), and how I really didn’t know what I was talking about.

“No, I don’t, but I would like to,” I concluded.

“THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE… BEFORE MY SPECIAL ATTACK,” Papyrus said, sockets squinting into dark slits.

“Bring it on!” I gasped, eating my final scrap of food: the Cinnamon Bunny. I had been particularly consistent in eating something when I reached low HP. I had never actually finished Papyrus’s fight before, even though I had watched it. I wasn’t about to be hauled back to the Capture Zone again.

“BEHOLD…!” Papyrus waved his arm. “MY SPECIAL ATTACK!”

A large-ish bone appeared out of nowhere, but hanging onto its tail end was a very contented white dog, gnawing on the bone like there was no tomorrow. Papyrus jumped. “WHAT THE HECK!” he yelped. “THAT’S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! DO YOU HEAR ME! STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE!!!”

The dog’s eyes popped guiltily and it began to slide out of sight, dragging the bone with it. Papyrus jumped from foot to foot, looking anxious to go off in pursuit, but loathe to leave me waiting. He settled for shouting, “HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!!” and shaking his fist.

“So… what now?” I asked as the dog (and bone) disappeared.

Papyrus pouted like an unhappy child. “OH WELL. I’LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK.”

“Sounds good to me.” I readied myself for the challenging final attack.

“HERE’S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK,” Papyrus sighed.

Despite being ‘absolutely normal’, this attack was swift and merciless. I got hit a couple times by his primary attacks, but panic didn’t really set in until an absolute sea of bones came swarming toward me, followed by the biggest bone I have ever seen. Papyrus was completely obscured.

If this was a ‘normal attack’, I was scared to see his Special Attack.

Stay up stay up stay up stay up stay up, I coached myself, using my full determination to keep my feet from touching the bones beneath me. Higher. Higher. Hiiiiigherrrrrrr….

My toes skimmed the very tippy tip of the tallest bone, and then I was sent plummeting to the ground. I tripped into the snow, landing on hands and knees, staggering shakily back to my feet. Papyrus was sweating, his hand guiding a single bone as if it was made of lead. I stumbled over it, keeping an eye out for any other sneaky attacks as I panted, hands on knees. Papyrus puffed just as hard.

“WELL…” the tall skeleton gasped, “IT’S CLEAR YOU CAN’T…” he sucked in another breath, “DEFEAT ME!!! YEAH!!!” That last attack had clearly drained him, but he wobbled valiantly. “I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS!!! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY!! I WILL SPARE YOU, HUMAN!!! NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY.”

“Yes please,” I huffed, laughing a little just because I was so glad to have it over. “Let’s just… call it good.”

“RIGHT…”

The fight faded, and so apparently had the mist. It had probably been cleared out by the calvary of bones. The snow around was trampled and wrinkled, a few out-of-bounds bones laying against the trees. Even though they were magic bones, they didn’t seem to fade like other magic attacks I had seen. Before I could ask Papyrus about this, he turned around, his red scarf swirling like a cape, and wailed, “NYOO HOO HOO… I CAN’T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU… UNDYNE’S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME.” As he spoke, he clenched his hand dramatically like a stage actor, drooping and sighing. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was really sincere or just an enormous drama queen. No judgement here, I was a huge drama queen myself, but still. If he was sincere, his sincerity must have been picked up from watching soap operas too young or something. “I’LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… AND…” he sniffled, “MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!”

“Hey, don’t say that.” I stepped forward. Normally, saying this to anyone else would be… well, okay, to be honest, I wouldn’t say this to anyone else because It’d make me sound like a little kid, but to a guy who was acting like a kid I assumed it would be okay. “I’ll be your friend, if you want,” I offered.

Papyrus perked up immediately, his entire face lighting with hope. “REALLY!?” He seemed hardly able to believe that it could be true. “YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS… WITH ME???”

“If you want to be friends with me.”

To tell the truth, I don’t have many friends. A lot of what Papyrus had said about being a lonely human he had hit bang on the dot because a bunch of the friends I did have lived out of state and I only got to see them once a year, if that. I didn’t trust other people to hang around in my life and I didn’t trust myself to be appealing enough to attract true friends. But like Papyrus had said about me, someone like him was really rare, and that wasn’t just because he was a six foot tall skeleton from another universe who could summon a sea of bone attacks to crush his oppressors. He was genuine. And nice. And funny. We shared a sense of humor. He had a sense of purpose and motivation that I wish he could loan me sometime. Something told me that he would try anything to make this friendship work.

What I’m trying to get at is this: I was about as excited at gaining a new friend as he was. And he seemed absolutely ecstatic, even as he deliberated. “WELL, THEN… I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU!” Despite these slow words, I could tell he was really, really excited. This became apparent as he did a little dance step toward me, concealing his joy no longer as he exclaimed, “WOWIE!! WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE AND I’VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!!!”

“Well, I’ve always thought it’s best to be friends first,” I said, smiling hard at his enthusiasm.

“WHO KNEW ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM??”

“Yeah, I should try that next time.”

Papyrus laughed, coming beside me and putting his hand on my shoulder. I grasped his upper arm in return. “NYEH HEH HEH! YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH!” he waved his free arm toward Waterfall. “AND,” he added, raising a finger, “I’LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN… WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER. THAT’S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL UNDERGROUND. ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT… EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL. LIKE YOU!!!”

He let go and took a step back, reaching out both arms like a car salesman modeling the newest Honda Convertible Lexus 2019 ultra… okay, someone else finish this metaphor, I know nothing about cars.

“THAT’S WHY THE KING WANTS TO AQUIRE A HUMAN,” Papyrus explained. “HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE SURFACE! OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU…” The music, which had been playing in the background since I offered to be friends, quieted and stopped completely, leaving an eerie quiet over the forest. “TO REACH THE EXIT, YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS… THROUGH THE KING’S CASTLE.” His voice gained a serious edge. Serious, but still melodramatic. “THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS. HE IS… WELL…” Papyrus paused, considering his words, and then waved a hand. The music resumed full tempo. “HE’S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!!!” he finished. “EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY, ‘EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR… CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?’ HE’LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF!”

“You sure?” I asked, knowing the truth, but also knowing what his answer would be.

“OH YES! ABSOLUTELY!!! ANYWAY!!!” he clapped his padded hands together, making a sound like a snowball hitting a tree. “THAT’S ENOUGH TALKING!!! I’LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND!!! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE!”

And with a cackle, Papyrus did something I entirely didn’t expect. Whether he used blue magic on his own soul or just inherently had the power, I still don’t know, but by waving his legs rapidly in the air as if running up an invisible treadmill, he rose into the air, moved over my head, and landed behind me, setting off into the returning mist toward his house. I could hear his laughter grow steadily more distant until at last it disappeared completely and I was left alone in the snow.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

So… what now?

I looked up ahead toward Waterfall, then back toward Snowdin, mulling my options as the fog swirled back into place. Go to Waterfall first and Save or date Papyrus first? Well, the Save Point was right next to Sans, who would take me back to Grillby’s, so I could do that first… but something in me said to date Papyrus before hanging out with Sans. Tradition, maybe? I didn’t really know.

Welp. Snowdin it was. I turned around and marched right back. Papyrus was waiting outside his house, apparently just breathing in the wintery air. “Hey,” I called as I came closer, interjecting before he could get to the second syllable of the exclamation, ‘HUMAN!!!’ “I came back for that date, but I just need to do something first. Give me one second!”

“PLEASE, HUMAN, TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED!”

“Thanks!” I ducked into the igloo and skidded back into town. The Save Point glittered pleasingly before me and I saved, feeling the golden glow bring me back up to maximum HP. I turned to rush back to my waiting date, but then decided to pick up my supplies first since I was right here. I had dumped almost a hundred G into this little shop, but hey, she sells what you need.

“I’m going to be leaving town in a bit, so I thought I’d stock up,” I said, picking up a Cinnamon Bunny and a single bisicle.

“Well, your business is always welcome if you ever decide to come back to Snowdin,” the rabbit lady told me, handing over the items and subtracting the proper amount of G.

“Thanks! Sorry I gotta run. See ya!”

I barely heard her reply as I scampered out the door, Saving hastily on my way to the igloo. It spat me out by Papyrus’s house and I stood there panting. Papyrus hardly seemed to notice my disheveled appearance, nor my hasty apology. “PISH TUSH, HUMAN!” he replied, waving a hand. “THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME! YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS…”

I shrugged, unwilling to seem too eager, but also not wanting to disappoint. “Only if you want to, man,” I said. “I don’t want to rush into anything if you don’t want to.”

“NONSENSE!!!” Papyrus bellowed. “HOWEVER… IT DOES MEAN I HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!!!”

“If it’s a place you like, then I’m game.”

“COME THEN!”

Papyrus waved me forward and I followed him through the town. He seemed excessively certain of where to go, trotting forward with such speed I could hardly keep up with him. We had almost reached Grillby’s when Papyrus swung a wide about-face, the certainty still clear on his face as he led me back in the direction we had come. “MY HOUSE!!!” Papyrus declared when we had reached our origin point once more. He swung open the door with a slam and disappeared.

I allowed myself a second to laugh before following, the mirth still in my eyes as I stepped inside, knocking the snow from my shoes. “That was awesome,” I commented as Sans’s theme kicked up around us.

“OF COURSE! ALL PART OF THE PLAN!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus laughed. He was standing well inside the house, by the staircase. Regaining his composure as the elegant host, he held out his hand. “WELCOME TO SCENIC MY HOUSE! ENJOY AND TAKE YOUR TIME!!!”

“Thank you! Do you want me to take my shoes off?” I asked, standing awkwardly in the entry way.

Papyrus’s skeletal face creased in confusion. “FOR WHAT REASON, HUMAN?”

“So that I don’t get snow in the house…?”

“OH!” his expression cleared. “NO, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT! OVER THE YEARS MY BROTHER AND I HAVE TRACKED IN SO MUCH SNOW THAT THE CARPET IS PRACTICALLY MADE OF IT!!!”

“Alright! If you’re sure.” Closing the door behind me, I stepped fully inside Papyrus’s (and Sans’s) abode.

It was clearly a bachelor’s place. Not to say that it was entirely messy – Papyrus evidently did a good job keeping it clean – but it did have a certain look to it that stated plainly that no woman had lent her touch. This was one-hundred percent guy decorated, guy maintained, guy operated. Not a bad look, overall, but it did mean that the smell of dirty socks, fast food, and some musty, unknowable tang had probably been here since the house was built.

The lone sock in the back of the room only helped this theory, along with the series of yellow post-it notes that debated – in Papyrus’s and Sans’s handwriting – whether Sans should pick up his sock. Forget the sock – I wanted to know where they bought the post-it notes! Any post-it note that could cling to the wall for more than a day was an impressive brand.

My first inspection was to the rock on a dish sitting at the table that blocked the eastern wall. “Who’s this little guy?” I asked, brushing some of the sprinkles off the rock’s back. It didn’t seem to be a sentient stone like the one in the ruins, but it emanated satisfaction. Was it wrong to envy the happiness of a rock?

“THIS IS MY BROTHER’S PET ROCK,” Papyrus answered. Even though he was all the way across the room, I could hear him clearly. “HE ALWAYS FORGETS TO FEED IT. AS USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.”

“He seems well maintained,” I said, giving the rock a final nod and moving on to the kitchen. “And this is where you make your culinary masterpieces?”

“HOW KIND OF YOU TO SAY! AND YES INDEED, YOU HAVE GUESSED CORECTLY, HUMAN!!!” Papyrus ran over to join me by the kitchen’s entrance. “THIS IS, INDEED, THE ARTIST’S ATELIER FOR SOME OF MY FINEST CREATIONS.”

“Atelier?” I asked. I’m always fond of learning new words. “What’s that mean?”

“AN ATELIER IS LIKE… A STUDIO. FOR A PAINTER! ALTHOUGH I HAVE NEVER PAINTED WITH SPAGHETTI…”

“Hm. Okay.” I inspected the oven, which was fairly clean, minus a few sauce-colored speckles in hard to reach places.

“MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT,” Papyrus said, lingering by the archway. “BUT RECENTLY HE TRIED ‘BAKING’ SOMETHING. IT WAS LIKE… A QUICHE. BUT FILLED WITH A SUGARY, NON-EGG SUBSTANCE. HOW ABSURD!”

I opened the oven, examining the lone pie tin inside. Suddenly something clicked into place. “A pie?” I asked. “Sans made a pie?”

“YES…” Papyrus agreed hesitantly. “IF YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.”

Oh, man! Had Toriel exchanged her Cinnamon/Butterscotch pie recipe with Sans?

“What kind of pie was it?”

Papyrus was still hesitant. He lowered his voice to a stage whisper, taking a step inside the kitchen and leaning in. “HONESTLY, HUMAN, THERE IS A REASON WHY I AM THE CHEF OF THIS FAMILY AND SANS IS NOT. IF THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CERTAIN FLAVOR TO THE PIE, MY BRILLIANT TASTEBUDS COULD NOT MAKE IT OUT.”

“Oh.” I closed the oven door, ignoring the fact that he had just referred to taste buds in such a casual manner when he didn’t have a tongue to begin with. “Okie-dokie. Have you ever tried taking him to your cooking lessons with you? Then maybe there’d be two cooks in the family.”

“I HAVE INVITED HIM, YES! BUT HE HAS DECLINED MY INVITATIONS ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. AND BETWEEN YOU AND ME…” Papyrus lowered his voice again, “I DO NOT KNOW IF COOKING WOULD REALLY BE SANS’S FORTE. YOU, ANOTHER PASTA LOVER, WOULD SURELY KNOW THE HEART AND THE EFFORT THAT GOES INTO CREATING A SINGLE DISH OF SPAGHETTI! FOR SOMEONE LIKE SANS, THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT… EXHAUSTING.”

I tried to picture Sans joining in Papyrus and Undyne smashing veggies to an unseemly pulp. Nope. My imagination had finally reached a limit. “Okay, yeah,” I agreed. Hastily changing the subject, I gestured to the insanely tall sink stretching high above our heads. I wondered if Papyrus could wash the dishes when standing on the floor or if he had to jump up on the nearby counter to get up there. “Nice sink.”

“IMPRESSED?” Papyrus seemed pleased that I had taken notice. “I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK.”

“So I see! For what reason, exactly?”

“TO FIT MORE BONES UNDERNEATH IT, OF COURSE! TAKE A LOOKSY!”

I opened the cupboard beneath it, which was about the size of a regular door. Inside was the annoying dog, munching on (presumably) Papyrus’s special attack. It jumped guiltily at Papyrus’s shout: “WHAT!?!?” and made a break for the door.

“CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!” Papyrus yelled as it dashed past me, past him, and out the door, which was mysteriously open even though I was sure I had closed it after entering. I rushed to pursue, but it was already gone. “CURSES!!” exclaimed Papyrus, looking furiously after the bone thief.

I heard a door open on the upper landing and turned around just in time to see Sans’s smiling face as he pressed a trombone to his teeth, letting out a ‘bwa-bwa-bwaaaaa’ of defeat before disappearing back into his room again. “SANS!” Papyrus and I both exclaimed with differing levels of heat.

“STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!!!” Papyrus shouted at the closed door before resuming his station by the stairs.

“Your brother’s a fun guy,” I mentioned, keeping an eye on the door as if Sans might make another appearance.

“I SUPPOSE,” Papyrus sighed woefully. “IF ONLY HE TRIED TO BE A BIT LESS LAZY AND A BIT MORE PRESENTABLE!”

“Hey, some people find it more difficult than others,” I interjected.

“BUT…” Papyrus stalled. “SOMETIMES I HAVE THE FEELING HE JUST DOES IT TO ANNOY ME! AND IT DOES ANNOY ME!!!” This was shouted pointedly in Sans’s direction.

I sniggered. “That’s brothers for you.”

Papyrus sighed between his teeth, echoing, “THAT’S BROTHERS, INDEED.”

I started up the stairs, nodding at Papyrus’s door, which was adorned with yellow police tape and stop signs, altogether giving the impression that this was a room of a 13 year old boy who wanted his parents to keep out. “THAT’S MY ROOM!” said Papyrus. “IF YOU’VE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND… WE COULD GO IN AND… DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY DATE???” He sounded suddenly uncertain, as if unsure what that might be.

“I’m ready if you are,” I said.

“RIGHT YOU ARE!!!” Papyrus bolted up the steps two at a time and opened the door for me, waving his hand like a true gentleman, ushering me into his chamber.

“Nice room,” I complemented, taking in the bookshelf, the computer, the table full of figurines. Everything was neat and well-kempt. “Pirate flag, huh?”

“ISN’T IT NEATO?” Papyrus admired it. “UNDYNE FOUND IT AT THE BAY… I THINK IT’S FROM THE HUMAN WORLD?”

“Looks like it.” I nodded.

“NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING,” Papyrus said. “WHY WOULD A HUMAN FLAG HAVE A COOL SKELETON ON IT? WELL… I HAVE A THEORY.”

I hadn’t been thinking anything of the kind, but I offered, “Let’s hear it.”

“I THINK HUMANS… MUST HAVE DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS!!!” Papyrus chortled, proud of his discovery.

I squirmed. “Well, you’re not wrong…” I stated hesitantly.

“OH! YOU HAVE SOME EVIDENCE TOWARDS MY THEORY!?”

“Ugm…” I tried to phrase this in my head without sounding weird.

“WELL??? IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, SPIT IT OUT!”

“Uh… oooookay.” A final edit in my head, I threw caution to the wind. “Do you know anything about human anatomy?”

“YE—” Papyrus checked his words. “UM, NO. NO, I CAN’T SAY I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE SUBJECT.”

“Okay.” I licked my lips. “So… humans are made of three… layers? I guess you could call them? Outside you have the skin that keeps everything inside, then muscles and organs – the inner organs – and to keep it all stable and put together and everything we have… bones.”

Papyrus gasped dramatically. “AS IN… MY MAGIC ATTACKS??? THOSE KINDS OF BONES???”

“Not just that, we have a fully formed non-magic skeleton holding our skin and organs together,” I concluded. “…and steady. Supporting everything.”

Papyrus looked absolutely shocked. “NO WAY!!!”

“Yep.” I looked him over for signs of trauma. “But since we’re not magical, we have tendons and muscles holding it together. We couldn’t survive without our other layers.” I added this because I had a terrible mental image of Papyrus getting too curious and wanting to SEE the bones.

“PREPOSTEROUS!!!” thundered Papyrus. “I’M SURE I WOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS! SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME!!!”

“It’s true. Here. Take off your glove.”

“WHAT FOR? ER, MAY I ASK,” Papyrus seemed awfully shifty about removing his mittens.

“I want you to feel this.”

Papyrus hesitantly took off his right-hand mitten and put his hand in my outstretched one. I extended the fingers on my other hand, rotating my wrist so my hand bones were stretched beneath the skin. Papyrus’s hand was not warm, but not cold, either. I touched his fingers to the back of my hand, rubbing his fingertips over my knuckles and in the indentations between bones. He seemed captivated, letting out little noises of fascination. His hand was just as interesting to me as mine was to his. Although his bones all seemed connected, there was no indication what was keeping them together. I could see the carpet in-between the bones.

I put my palm against his, Tarzan-style, smiling. “See?” I said. “Same kind of thing. Just with flesh.”

“WOWIE!!!” Papyrus exclaimed, enthralled. He pressed our hands together, looking from one to the other, ripping off his other glove to pinch at our thumbs, marveling at the comparison. “I HAD NO IDEA!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL SANS!!! HE’LL LOVE THIS!!! SO, DOES THAT MEAN YOU ALSO HAVE A SPINE!?”

“Yep!” I turned around and guided his hand down my backbone, breathing in to make the bones more prominent.

“RIBS, TOO?”

“Yep!” I answered again, really getting a kick out of his enthusiasm, although I didn’t offer up those for inspection.

“AND A XIPHOID PROCESS?”

“Uh… I… don’t know about that one.” Where in the human body was a Xiphoid Process?

“SPECTACULAR!!! MARVELOUS!!!” Papyrus grabbed my hand and began to study it like a very lost palm-reader. “WHAT ARE THESE!?”

“Those are my veins,” I laughed as he prodded them, jumping when finding them squishy, then coming back for another poke.

“FASCINATING!! WHAT ARE THEY FOR?”

“They bring blood to and from every part of my body. The blood carries oxygen, which comes in through my lungs—” I took a deep breath to demonstrate, “—Into my heart, which pumps and distributes blood throughout the body—”

“WAIT A MOMENT,” Papyrus waved the anatomy lesson to a halt. “YOU HAVE A HEART???”

“Do you not?” This was a genuine question. I had no idea how magic skeletons worked.

“N-NO.” Papyrus looked down at his boots. At first I thought he was ashamed, but when he looked up his cheeks were just the slightest bit rosy. (Wait, how did that work???) “I—HUMAN, IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND… ER… IF YOU WOULD ALLOW ME…” he stammered, “WOULD YOU ALLOW ME TO FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT? I HAVE NEVER FELT ONE BEFORE.”

“Of course!” I found his sudden shyness rather charming, besides being pleased that he didn’t just make a grab at me to find it himself. I motioned for his hand again, rolling his fingers out so his palm was easy to get at. The three-toned music that played when Sans asks ‘have you ever heard of a talking flower’ started playing in the stillness, making this interaction seem a lot more solemn than it had seemed a moment before. Taking a deep breath, I settled his hand on my bosom, pressing it to my heart.

Papyrus quivered, whispering, “OH MY GOD… I CAN FEEL IT…”

I giggled, looking straight into his marveling face. He looked as if someone had just handed him a newborn baby – a little frightened, but filled with wonder. I had never been this close to him before and I took this moment for a close inspection of his face. His bones – both his hands and his skull – were smooth, far smoother than a human skeleton’s. Not at all dry or crumbly. Only the tip of his nose and his cheekbones were roughened from the bite of the Snowdin cold, and that roughness was only perceptible at this short distance. In more than one way he was so cool.

“THIS THING… KEEPS YOU ALIVE?” Papyrus asked, still whispering as if my heart was sleeping.

“Well, I couldn’t survive without it,” I said.

“WOWIE,” Papyrus whispered again. “WOWIE, WOW WOW WOW…”

I allowed him a few more minutes before dropping his hand. He pulled away as soon as I did, not questioning the fact that with my interaction gone, his time was up. I was pleased at how respectful he was. If he had been anything other than curious I would never have offered to let him feel my heartbeat, but his deference had never wavered. The music faded into silence yet again.

“WELL,” said Papyrus, pulling his mittens back on with a nod, “I HAVE LEARNED A LOT TODAY, HUMAN! THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION!”

“And thank you for being respectful,” I said, because I truly was thankful for that.

“OF COURSE!!! SO, UM… IF YOU’VE SEEN EVERYTHING…” Papyrus looked suggestive. “DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE?”

“Oh!” I had totally forgotten that we were going on a date. Actually, I had downright forgotten that we were in Undertale. As far as I was concerned, I was hanging out with a friend, showing him something cool about myself, and reveling in his wonder. But… “Yeah! Sorry, yeah. Let’s start the date.”

“OKAY!!! DATING START!!!”

I was pulled into an Encounter, which struck me by surprise for a moment. Encounters thus far had only been used for fighting. Cheerful music struck up in the previously silent room. “HERE WE ARE!!” announced the skeleton. “ON OUR DATE!! I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE,” he admitted.

“Well, neither have I, so we’ll get to learn together,” I said.

Yeah. I hadn’t ever dated before. What of it? Shut up.

“OH, REALLY? WELL, DON’T WORRY!!! YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘PREPARED’ WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!!! I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! WE’RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!” He whipped the rulebook out from who-knew-where and began to rifle through the pages.

“Great!” I said, patiently waiting.

“LET’S SEE…” Papyrus murmured, “STEP ONE… PRESS THE ‘C’ KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR ‘DATING HUD’.”

Uh-oh. Here was a conundrum. “I don’t have a keyboard!” I yelped, only now just realizing how strange this was for someone IN the game.

“DON’T WORRY, HUMAN! I DO!!!” Papyrus took a step backward and tapped on the keyboard hooked up to the computer behind him. A perfect flood of hologram projections came in all around us, feeding information of all sorts, from radars to information about the weather to just the simple time and date. October 17^th, I saw with relief. Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. It seemed time hadn’t progressed too far. Although the time still correlated to this world. One-fifteen? Wow. It was getting late and I still hadn’t had lunch. Maybe I should have gone with Sans first.

“WOWIE!!! I FEEL SO INFORMED!!!” Papyrus spun in a circle, taking in all the sights. “I THINK WE’RE READY FOR STEP TWO!!! ‘STEP TWO… ASK THEM ON A DATE’.”

Papyrus put the book aside and took a stance, clearing his throat. “AHEM. HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!!!”

“That you will!” I replied with an equal dose of confidence.

“R-REALLY??? WOWIE!!!” His cheeks flushed again, annunciated with the darkness of the room. He acted as if he had actually asked the question and had been in any danger of refusal. “I GUESS THAT MEANS IT’S TIME FOR PART THREE!!! ‘STEP THREE…’” he read, picking up the book again. “PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW THAT YOU CARE.’”

He squinted at this passage, slowly letting the book sink to chest-level. “WAIT A SECOND. ‘WEAR CLOTHING’. THAT RIBBON IN YOUR HAIR… YOU’RE WEARING CLOTHING RIGHT NOW!!!”

I touched the ribbon which, despite everything, still clung valiantly to its perch. “Uh… yeah?” I said, wondering why, of my full outfit, he chose to count the ribbon – of all things – as clothing.

“NOT ONLY THAT… EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING! NO… COULD IT BE??? YOU’VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!??”

I bit my lip, squirming. Even before I had played the game, I knew that you could date the skeleton. There was a video on YouTube put out by SuperButterBuns called ‘Undertale For Beginners’. SBB did a lot of ‘for beginners’ videos and they were mostly spoiler-free with a lot of good tips for people who had never played the game before, and I took her advice seriously. So when she said to play the game the first time without hurting anybody, I did. She said save the spider donut for a later point in the game. I failed that one. She said ‘date the skeleton, you nerd’. I set my sights on the skeleton.

But it was even more awkward when you had kinda sorta dated him before from an alternate dimension and he asked you if you had been planning this encounter. Hence the lip-nipping and the squirming. I mulled my words before answering, “…I can’t deny that I was kind of hoping for this.”

Papyrus staggered as if he had been struck. The radars flew out of sight with a flash. “NO!!” exclaimed my date. “YOU PLANNED IT ALL!!! YOU’RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM!!!”

“Beginner’s luck, I guess,” I offered.

“N-NOOOOOO!!!” he wailed. “YOUR DATING POWER…!!!”

A bar, labeled ‘Date Power’, flashed into existence above our heads, filling up a little over quarter way with a blue light.

“NYEH,” Papyrus huffed. His eyes were narrowed. “NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

“Nyeh heh heh what?” I asked, feeling as if I were being drawn into a sort of competition.

“DON’T THINK YOU’VE BESTED ME YET!” Papyrus answered. The music around us had quieted to a tension-inducing beat and a meter to the side indicated that the dating tension was rising. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL! I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU!!! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING!!! IN FACT… I ALWAYS WEAR MY ‘SPECIAL’ CLOTHERS UNDER MY REGULAR CLOTHES!! JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY HAPPENS TO ASK ME ON A DATE!!!”

“How… forward thinking,” I said.

“YES! BEHOLD!!!” Papyrus bolted toward the closet, shutting the door behind him and banging around for the amount of time it would take a person to say, “What the heck is going on?”

Papyrus emerged again, this time dressed in a strange style that surpassed description. His crop-top read ‘Cool Dude’. His socks came up to his knees and his sneakers had no laces. Small basketballs made up for puffed sleeves and a baseball cap was perched proudly on his head. He had ditched his scarf, although his gloves remained intact. Altogether he looked like someone who had only read about sports decided that they liked them a little too much and decided they wanted to make a sports-themed outfit. That’s probably what happened, come to think of it.

“NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE!?!” Papyrus demanded.

To be honest, it was a bit offensive to my eyeballs. But I couldn’t say that to Papyrus! So I, in the most loophole terms I could use, told him I thought it was extremely original.

“NO!!!” he cried. “A GENUINE COMPLIMENT…!!!”

Oh. So that’s what I had just given him? Well, if that’s what he chose to label it…

The Date Power meter shot up another quarter of a bar.

“HOWEVER…” Papyrus said, shooting it a sneaky look. “YOU DON’T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT!!! THEREFORE… WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID!!!” He looked triumphantly upward as the Date Power meter slipped again. “THIS DATE WON’T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER!!!” he declared, “…UNLESS YOU CAN FIND MY SECRET!! BUT THAT WON’T HAPPEN!!”

“Oh really?” I asked. If he had stated it any other way, I would have taken it easy on him. But he had stated it like a challenge, so I stood on tiptoes and batted the brim of his hat. “What are you hiding under here, then?”

“MY HAT…?” Papyrus clutched at it, his exclamation becoming louder each time. “MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH!”

He flourished said article, displaying a wrapped present sitting on top of his skull. “W-WELL THEN, YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE! IT’S A PRESENT…”

“For me?” I exclaimed.

“SHH! DON’T INTERRUPT WHEN I’M MONOLOGUING!!”

“Sorry.”

“AHEM.” Papyrus coughed. “IT’S A PRESENT… FOR YOU.”

“I could never have guessed.” I kept the sarcasm to a light tang as I reached for the gift, pulling it off of Papyrus’s head and untying the bow. The wrapping fell apart, displaying a plate of spaghetti inside.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?”

“Spaghetti?” I guessed.

“THIS AIN’T ANY PLAIN OLD PASTA!” Papyrus roared, happy that I had gotten it wrong. “THIS IS AN ARTISAN’S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK… THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS!”

“Wow,” I said. “I was very wrong.”

Was I having fun with this? Maybe.

“HUMAN!!! IT IS TIME TO END THIS!!!” Papyrus pointed at me. “THERE’S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER!”

“You wanna bet?” I took a bite of the spaghetti.

The game had said that Papyrus made horrible spaghetti, and in preparation for the inevitable nastiness, I had planned on only taking a tiny bite. Unfortunately, my competitive streak caused me to put a little more in my mouth than I had bargained for. Because let me tell you, I had NOT been prepared for this. Although the game says the taste is indescribable, I’m going to go ahead and try to describe it.

The texture was… powerful. Somehow al dente and mushy at the same time, flaking off into weird, hard bits mixed with paste as it dissolved. The sauce was bland, but acidic. Even though I’m someone who usually pours balsamic on my pasta to make it more tart, this spaghetti had gone too far. It felt like it was trying to eat its way out of my mouth. I shuddered, my face deciding to do all kinds of muscular gymnastics as the food dissolved into a gluey slime.

“WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION!!!” Papyrus gushed.

I tried to swallow. It didn’t go well. I could practically hear my throat hissing and backing away as the food made its passage. I begged it not to come back up. Once was enough.

“YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING!” the ‘master chef’ decided. “AND BY EXTENSION, ME!!!”

I tried to say something witty there, but all the moisture had evaporated from my mouth.

“MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO!!!”

The Dating Meter began to shoot up in spurts. Papyrus made a noise each time as if he was being punched, watching as the meter filled, then finally exploded on one side, setting the entire room alight with a blue light. Papyrus disappeared from in front of me, concealed by brightness, and I was able to scrape my tongue in peace.

I was alone in a field of white. Out of nowhere, Papyrus’s voice sounded. “HUMAN. IT’S CLEAR NOW. YOU’RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME. EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT’S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE.”

I hoped that wherever Papyrus was standing he couldn’t see my face. Or, if he could, he would chalk down my expressions to more passion, or – even better – squinting unromantically in the brightness. I was squirming again. I wasn’t in love with this guy. Any shred of romance I might have held was dashed by the taste of that atrocious pasta. I would gladly leave this guy for a glass of water. Or a cheese-grater for my tastebuds. Poor things. I didn’t think they’d ever recuperate.

“HUMAN. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO,” Papyrus continued. “IT’S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT’S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS…”

The brightness faded and Papyrus stood before me in his silly outfit, looking so agitated that I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. I shouldn’t have been so harsh about his cooking, no matter how bad it was. I still wanted a glass of water, though.

“I… UM… BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?” Papyrus fidgeted.

“Pap’rus?” I croaked. Oh, great. Guess it had gotten to my vocal chords, too.

Papyrus’s eyes slowly dropped to the floor. “OH, SHOOT,” he muttered. “HUMAN, I… I’M SORRY.” He seemed to be summoning up all his willpower. “I DON’T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN. I MEAN,” he struggled to make me understand, “I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH!!! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR PASSION FOR ME!”

He looked so desperate that I felt bad for playing with his feelings like this. Even though I still felt like I was being poisoned, I managed to croak out a consoling, “Dude, if you don’t feel that way, you don’t need to force yourself. I don’t want you to force yourself into liking me.”

“ALAS,” sighed the skeleton. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… HAVE FAILED. I FEEL JUST THE SAME AS BEFORE. AND INSTEAD, BY DATING YOU… I HAVE ONLY DRAWN YOU DEEPER INTO YOUR INTENSE LOVE FOR ME! A DARK PRISON OF PASSION WITH NO ESCAPE. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MY DEAR FRIEND…?” he mused.

“It’s not your fault,” I rasped. “I was the one who pushed things along this way. I’m sorry.”

“PLEASE, DON’T BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS, HUMAN,” pleaded Papyrus. “THIS IS… WAIT… THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN’T FAIL AT ANYTHING!!!”

I started to request again that he not push himself for my sake, but he interrupted with a booming, “HUMAN!!! I’LL HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES!!! I’LL KEEP BEING YOUR COOL FRIEND AND ACT LIKE THIS ALL NEVER HAPPENED. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY GREAT. IT WOULD BE TRAGIC TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.”

“Aw,” I smiled, feeling a warmth inside that had nothing to do with the internal hemorrhaging I was currently suffering. “You really mean that?”

“I DO.” Papyrus put a hand on my shoulder. “BUT I MUST ASK, PLEASE… DON’T CRY BECAUSE I WON’T KISS YOU. BECAUSE, I DON’T EVEN HAVE LIPS.”

“That is okay,” I said.

“AND HEY,” Papyrus continued, determined to mend my presumably broken heart, “SOMEDAY, YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME.”

“I hope so.”

Papyrus rethought this. “WELL, NO. THAT’S NOT TRUE. BUT I’LL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST!!!”

“That’ll do for me!” I exclaimed as he threw back his head in a laugh, running from the room. I let out a sigh as he left, relishing the silence until he returned again, just as hastily.

“OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME,” he added as an afterthought, handing me a number scrawled on a piece of paper, “HERE’S MY PHONE NUMBER. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! PLATONICALLY.”

“Thank you.” I held the paper before me, reading the number before looking up with a grin.

“WELL, GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Papyrus scooped up his battle body from the closet, darted for the door, and was gone. The Encounter faded and I was left alone in the room with a phone number, exhaustion, and internal damage. I decided to go outside and wash out my mouth with snow before doing anything else.

That accomplished, I put Papyrus’s phone number into my phone. Seeing Toriel’s number made me sad and I tried to call her, even though I knew the result. Like I thought, nobody picked up.

Between Papyrus’s unbeatable fervor and his attempted poisoning, I felt bone-tired. (Pun intended.) I’m a person with a relatively low allowance of energy and hanging out, even if it was just with a friend, drains my batteries really quickly. Papyrus being as upbeat as he was only stimulated the drain. Maybe lunch would give me a boost. Giving a decisive nod, I set off toward Waterfall, beelining straight toward Sans’s sentry station.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

The sound of waterfalls ushered me forward through the fog, a dark cavern leading to the next area. A stream of falling water at the entrance added to the mist and I was greeted with a warm rush of air as I entered.

Monster Kid turned happily when I approached, his dino tail wagging. Tired as I was, I graced him with a smile and a, “Hey again.”

“Yo!” the kid exclaimed. “Are you sneaking out to see her, too?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued, “Awesome… she’s the coolest, right? I wanna be just like her when I grow up…”

“By ‘her’, you mean Undyne, right?” I clarified.

“Who else? Man, she’s the coolest. Hey, don’t tell my parents I’m here. Ha ha.”

“I’m not telling anybody anything,” I laughed, walking past him to inspect a glorious blue flower that grew to head level.

“This is an Echo Flower,” said the weird orange fish-monster standing (could it be considered standing when you’re balancing on a tail?) beside the flower. “It repeats the last thing it heard over and over…”

“Really?” I asked, just to be polite, and touched the flower with a tentative finger.

“Really?” the Echo Flower repeated in a misty semblance of my own voice.

“That’s really cool!” I said. The fish monster blushed and turned away. After another brush at the flower’s luminous petals, I did too.

“Wassup, Sans?” I greeted as the skeleton leaned on the window of his sentry station.

“hey, kid. howzit going?”

“I am utterly exhausted,” I said with a sigh. “I know it’s just a little past midday, according to my phone here, but I am already ready for bed.”

“well, you’ve come to the right guy. i’m always stocked up for this kind of emergency.” Sans ducked underneath his station and pulled out a pillow and a couple blankets. “i’ve always got one or two of these around just in case i have a nap attack. i can even offer you blue or green. what’ll it be?”

“Thanks for the offer, but neither. Sorry. I can’t even sleep during the day.”

“well, to be fair, how do you even know it’s day?” Sans questioned. “i mean, we are underground.”

“True,” I conceded.

“eh, i’m just messing with ya.” Sans waved a hand and slumped over the pillow. His voice came out muffled. “it does get darker here at night.” He looked up from the comfy depths. “don’t tell me you didn’t notice when you came out of the ruins. before the gate?”

“Oh yeah!” So it wasn’t just my imagination. “How come?”

Sans propped his arm underneath the pillow so he was in a more upright position, pointing toward the fall that divided Snowdin from Waterfall. “simple. warm air comes out of the cavern, pushing the mist from that waterfall into the cold air of snowdin, thus forming clouds. we have sort of a fan system up above that evenly distributes clouds all the way to the ruins, hence the even snowfall. when it hits eight o’ clock or so, fan stops whirrin. the lights of the town and ones placed around are the main source of light down here, and if the clouds aren’t there, they reflect less light. no light, nighttime.”

“Okay!” I nodded several times, digesting this information. “That’s cool.”

“i almost never get that reaction.” Sans looked vaguely surprised. “so far it’s just been requests for these pillows because i send ‘em right to sleep.”

I chuckled. “No, I really think it’s interesting.”

“that’s too bad. i was really hoping to sell some of these today. welp,” Sans swept the pillow and blankets back onto his side. “as it is, lemme offer you the next best thing. do you know the best thing about working as many jobs as i do? it’s twice as many legally required breaks. i’m going to grillby’s. wanna come?”

“That honestly sounds amazing,” I told him.

“well, if you insist…” Sans sighed, giving the utmost impression of fake reluctance, “i’ll pry myself away from my work.”

He stood, rounding the station and heading deeper into the cavern, jerking his head toward me in an invitation to follow. “over here,” he said. “i know a shortcut.”

“Okayyyy?” I said, acting for his sake like I didn’t understand why he was walking in the opposite direction of our destination, but following nonetheless.

Now, everybody’s going to ask what being in one of Sans’s shortcuts feel like, and I’m sorry for your disappointment because it felt extremely mundane. We just walked down the path for a little bit, the cavern fading out into nothingness. The next thing I knew, everything faded back in and we were walking into Grillby’s. No nausea, no weird side-effect headache or dizziness, nothing. The only thing that might have felt a little weird was the sense of walking from stone to wood flooring, but even that happened in two separate steps, so that didn’t feel too odd.

“fast shortcut, huh?” Sans said, then went through the room grinning and gathering greetings from the inhabitants, all of which seemed happy to see him. The tails of the Royal Guard started wagging as soon as they saw him. I basked in the welcoming atmosphere of the little restaurant, deeply inhaling the smell of roasting meat and frying potatoes. My appetite successfully revived, my stomach started to growl in anticipation.

After cracking a joke with the other monsters, Sans waved me to a seat at the bar. “here, get comfy,” he offered.

I started to thank him, but stopped as soon as a whoopie cushion sounded as I sat. “whoops, watch where you sit down,” Sans advised. Too late, as usual. “sometimes weirdos put whoopie cushions on the seats.”

“Weirdos like you?” I demanded, fishing out the whoopie cushion and plopping it on the counter. Grillby confiscated it with a reprimanding look at Sans. The soft orange glow of the flame atronach’s fire dimmed as he ducked beneath the counter, returning in a moment to continue with his work. His warmth felt nice as he passed by.

“hey now. as far as you’re concerned i’m innocent until proven guilty, right?”

I guffawed. “Again I ask: how old are you???”

“just a little older than the last time you asked me. anyway, let’s order. whaddya want? fries or a burger?”

“Burger, please. I need a full meal.”

“hey, that sounds pretty good,” Sans agreed. He flagged down the fiery barman. “grillby, we’ll have a double order of burg.”

Grillby, who seemed not to be much for words, gave a short nod and disappeared into the back room. His warmth departed with him, which was disappointing. My nose was still cold.

I heard a scraping sound beside me and stopped searching for Grillby to see Sans rubbing a comb down the side of his skull. A strange sight, considering he didn’t have any hair. “Does it feel good or something?” I asked.

He shrugged. “eh, something like that.”

Replacing the comb in his pocket, he cocked his head in an inquiring manner. “so, what do you think… of my brother?” he asked.

I smiled, thinking back to our date. “He’s incredible,” I said, adding with an exaggerated nod, “but he can’t cook for beans. I’m sorry, but… no.”

Sans laughed, head tossed back. “he make you try it?”

“Yeah,” I said ruefully.

“i even warned you.”

“Have you ever tried it?” I asked.

Sans nodded, the slow gesture full of past pain. “what kind of brother would i be if i didn’t?”

I thought it through. “Undamaged?”

The skeleton sniggered. “that’s the one. here comes the grub.”

Grillby returned, bearing two hamburgers. He plopped them down in front of us with a civil nod and began wiping down the counter with a cloth. I called out a ‘thank you’ after him. His fire sparked a little brighter, but he made no reply other than another nod.

“want some ketchup?” Sans offered the glass bottle. I was dubious about where the ketchup had come from, since I hadn’t seen it around a moment before, but answered in the affirmative. “bone appetit,” Sans said with a wink.

I knew what was coming next, and was resolute not to allow the ketchup to spill all over. Giving the bottle a quick shake before popping the cap, I began to gingerly pour a small helping onto my plate. Just when I had gotten to a point where I had a proper amount, Sans knocked my elbow and the entire bottle let loose the entirety of red Niagara Falls. I jerked the bottle upright again, but it was too late. Only the merest trace of ketchup remained at the bottom of the bottle. My hamburger was completely swamped.

“Aww, dude!” I exclaimed, switching between surveying the carnage and glaring at Sans’s faux surprised face. “You know, I would’ve let you have the rest when I got what I wanted!”

“whoops.” Sans’s innocent look didn’t falter in the least. He waved a hand. “eh, forgeddaboudit. you can have mine.”

I looked with distaste at Sans’s untouched hamburger, almost tempted to chow down on the red-mantled atrocity before me just to show him. But one look at said burger took that out of the question. “Okay.” I swapped ungraciously.

“i’m not hungry anyway,” Sans offered, as if this somehow made up for the fact that he had made me douse my own hamburger in ketchup.

“Do you have any mustard instead?” I asked, looking up at Grillby.

“gotcha covered.” Sans held out another bottle. I looked at him suspiciously. “what? it’s not going to bite you or anything.”

I took the bottle and dolloped out the safest amount before putting the lid back on and setting it back on the counter. I scraped some of the ketchup that had oozed off my old hamburger onto my new one and took a bite.

“it’s good, right?”

I nodded. “’S very good,” I said around a full mouth. The meat patty was robust and full of juices. A little on the greasy side, but I was too hungry to judge. The bun was toasted and warm as if fresh off the grill. The tomato and lettuce were a little wilted from the heat, but the onion still had plenty of crunch. Overall, five star review. Where’s the undernet Yelp?

“grillby makes the best food on this side of the underground, don’t you, grillbz?”

Grillby ducked his head, paying keen interest in the counter. “It’s nothing,” he said. His voice was low, almost hidden in a crackle like a campfire consuming new bracken. I had gotten him to speak once before when I entered, when he told me that he would offer me a glass of water, except he didn’t touch the stuff. Even though that had been a longer sentence, it had been hard to tell what kind of voice he had, or if it hid some sort of accent. It was as if you only heard the words in retrospect, or as if they had never really been spoken aloud in the first place. Too bad he didn’t speak more often.

“anyway, cool or not, you have to agree papyrus tries real hard,” Sans said, picking back up on the Papyrus conversation we had started earlier. I pretended not to notice that he had just finished scratching his backside before he started speaking, because to stare would be rude. This is why I didn’t understand the Sans Fangirls. I figured if Sans was a human he’d be one of those overweight greasy guys who hung out at bars, like the one we were currently in, leaning with his elbow on the counter and picking at his stained white t-shirt – oh, hey! That’s what he was doing right now!

Not to diss Sans or overweight human guys who had the same habits, but my point is that there was no romance whatsoever about this guy. Charisma, definitely. Even though he acted slovenly and childish, something about him suggested that he was your pal and he wanted you to have a good time. Maybe it was just me and my unromantic ways, but there was nothing sexually alluring about this skeleton whatsoever. Actually, without that charisma boost, Sans would be one of those creepy bar dudes that I would be staying away from. Had he been human, this scenario with the two of us sharing a meal would never have happened in the first place.

And yet, here we were. Me eating a burger as the slightly irritating, partially intriguing skeleton monster talked about his brother’s aspiring career as a Royal Guard member, and how it got started when Papyrus stood outside all night long to get the chance to ask Undyne if he could join. It was another trait that led to Sans’s weird charm: how he never talked about himself. It was always about Papyrus or Undyne or Grillby. And even if he teased his brother, his gossip never turned downright mean. When he praised him, his eyes lit up and I could tell that he was genuine about what he said.

“…seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training,” Sans concluded. “it’s, uh, still a work in progress.”

I reached out for a napkin, swallowing my final bite. “I believe he can do it,” I said, wiping my fingers.

“he’s dedicated, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

There was a moment of silence between us, then the music slowly began to dim. “oh yeah, i wanted to ask you something,” Sans said.

Sans leaned in towards me and it seemed as if everything around faded away. In the game it demonstrated this by surrounding Frisk and Sans in a giant spotlight, but here there was no such transition. It didn’t need one. Sans’s solemn expression was enough. His hollow sockets with only the bright darting lights of his pupils seemed to encapsulate everything. Even the background noises faded away. I had never felt so gripped. “have you ever heard of a talking flower?” His voice was low, as if it was the most serious question he had ever posed in his life.

I paused, the eerie light of his eyes boring into me. When I answered at last, there was no question in my tone, although the hesitation beforehand might have belittled my words. “Yeah.”

“so you know all about it.” Sans’s solemnity didn’t falter. “the echo flower. they’re all over the marsh. say something to them, and they’ll repeat it over and over…”

I didn’t say anything to this. I couldn’t.

“what about it?” Sans voiced my unasked question. “well, papyrus told me something interesting the other day. sometimes when no one else is around… a flower appears and whispers things to him. flattery… advice… encouragement… predictions.” His eyes became, if possible, even more potent. “weird, huh? someone must be using an echo flower to play a trick on him.”

My mouth had gone dry. I knew that even though he said it was an echo flower, Flowey was the true culprit behind these so-called pranks. For some reason, I had never realized what it meant that Flowey had predicted the future to Papyrus. Even as I thought of the implications of this, my jaw clenched. I have a pretty strong protective instinct when it comes to my friends, and just the simple knowledge of Flowey’s presence near Papyrus in multiple timelines being thrust into this kind of realistic sheen made every bit of me go on high-alert.

“keep an eye out, ok?” Sans requested.

My voice came out lower than even I expected, matching Sans’s dire tone. “I will. Papyrus is my friend. I don’t want anything to hurt him.”

I could see just the slightest ounce of tension slip out of Sans’s frame. His already smiling mouth twitched just the smallest bit. “thanks,” he said.

Then Sans turned back to the bar and the spell was severed. Once again his theme played happily from the broken jukebox and the original bustle of the restaurant was heard around us. I felt dazed, as if I had just woken from a dream. Sans slipped from his seat, putting his hands in his pockets. “welp, that was a long break. i can’t believe i let ya pull me away from work for that long.”

I laughed, spinning my stool around so I faced him. “Yep, I just dragged you off to Grillby’s, force-fed you a hamburger. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

“oh, by the way, i’m flat broke. can you foot the bill? it’s just 10000G.”

“Dude, I’ve never had that much money!” I protested.

“just kidding.” Sans shrugged in a jovial manner, shouting past his shoulder as he left, “grillby, put it on my tab.”

Grillby made a sound like a summer breeze fanning sparks. I think that was the sound of him sighing.

Once at the doorway, Sans paused. “by the way…” he said slowly, then apparently thought better of his words because he ended, “…i was going to say something, but i forgot.”

“That’s anticlimactic,” I noted.

“it is what it is.”

With a head-dip of farewell, Sans left.

After a moment of reflection, I got off my stool. “Do you take tips?” I asked Grillby.

He shook his flaming head. “No need.”

“If you’re sure,” I said. “Well, I guess I’m going now. Bye, guys!” I waved to the Royal Guard, whose tails began to wag rapidly as I passed them. Several of them shouted farewells as I left the building.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

You might have already guessed this by the name and your own experiences from beyond the fourth wall, but Waterfall was dark and wet.

Well duh, Peter Johnson.

I know, I know, it’s obvious, but you might as well hear it from someone who’s actually been there. After being in Snowdin which did a good job of fooling you into believing that you were outside on a snowy day, Waterfall actually felt deep underground. The air was moist with water droplets and the cavern ceiling was within seeing distance. This place, in comparison to the elegant Ruins and simple small-town Snowdin, felt rough and untamed. The stone walls were craggy and slick, although the path was well-maintained. I had to wade through a fast flowing stream of water to get to the other side while large rocks came sweeping down from upstream, threatening to displace my footing. I dodged them, pausing just a moment before darting into a cave partially hidden by the upper fall. There it was that I found the Dusty Tutu.

In normal circumstances, I would never have put on such a childish ornament. Even the knowledge that I would have to show myself in public wearing this silly thing made me wince in preliminary embarrassment. But armor was armor, no matter how silly. So I put on the tutu.

I immediately felt twice as wide as before. There were wires in the tutu frame holding it out to maximum capacity, making me feel as if I had a flat, lacy donut around my waist. This was easily amended, however, when I put my mind in creative mode. Simply pressing against the walls a couple of times warped the tutu frame out of shape so it looked more skirtlike, bent downwards to my knees. Upon further inspection, I learned that the wires could be taken out entirely, letting the fabric droop loosely. Even though this made the poor tutu look more bedraggled than ever, I felt less silly and more willing to step back out into the rushing torrent and continue on my path.

Further along it became even darker. The cavern opened up wide on my right side although the ceiling still remained level. There was another level up above to my left. It was so dark I hardly realized there was grass before me before I was in it, brushing it aside and trying to remain on the path, if there was still a path to remain on.

And then I heard a noise.

It was a clatter, like someone shifting in chainmail. I turned and found that to be just the case. Remember that upper level I told you about? Yeah? Well, someone was standing there now. A tall figure in glinting silver-black armor which shone despite the darkness of the cave. Undyne (for so I knew it to be) had her back to me, displaying the royal red plume that hung from her helm. I held my breath. Even though she hadn’t so much as moved a muscle, her appearance was intimidating.

Another figure joined her on the overlook. Papyrus, come to give his report. Even though the sound of rushing water still thundered, I could just make out his words.

“H… HI, UNDYNE! I’M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT… UHHH… REGARDING THAT HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER…”

The waterfall blocked out Undyne’s words. I couldn’t make out anything beyond a murmur of incoherent speech. Even though I couldn’t hear her, Papyrus apparently could, because he replied, “HUH? DID I FIGHT THEM? Y-YES! OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT THEM VALIENTLY!” He turned around, posing, but I could see his unease from where I stooped, hidden. “WHAT? DID I CAPTURE THEM…?” he responded to Undyne’s next unheard question. He squirmed, stammering, “W- W- WELL… NO.”

I grimaced and shook my head. If I had been Papyrus, I would have told Undyne that I had captured the human, but said human had also escaped. It wouldn’t have been a lie, because that is what had happened. I would just have omitted the whole ‘but I also fought them again and let them go and then we went on a date and here I am now’ portion of the ordeal.

“I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE,” Papyrus continued in a hurry as the armored figure’s hands clenched by her sides. “BUT IN THE END… I FAILED.” This was said so dejectedly I could hardly hear it.

Undyne turned to Papyrus, the glistening eyes of her helmet fixed solidly on him. “W- WHAT?” my friend stammered. “YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE THE HUMAN’S SOUL YOURSELF…”

Now I really had a reason to feel uneasy. The memory of my previous out-of-game encounter with Undyne (and the multiple deaths therein) suddenly came back to me and I winced.

“BUT UNDYNE,” pleaded Papyrus, taking a step towards her imploringly, “YOU DON’T H-HAVE TO DESTROY THEM! YOU SEE… YOU SEE…”

Any gratification I felt for my friend’s noble attempt was immediately snuffed as Undyne turned to stare at him again. Papyrus stumbled backwards several steps, seeming to shrink under her unrelenting gaze. Her words had him cowed – that much was plain. He was silent for long after Undyne had stopped talking, contemplating.

“… I UNDERSTAND,” he said, voice low again, then rising with vigor. “I’LL HELP YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN.” And he left, leaving Undyne alone on the ledge.

I felt a stab of disappointment as he went knowing that friendship could only go so far when duty was concerned. I understood his decision. Respected it, even. Capturing me was his job. Assisting the royal guard was his duty. Who was I to stand in-between him and his job?

I sighed out softly through my nose. Papyrus was such a people-pleaser, trying to stay out of the conflict by assisting both sides. It was a good thing he was so sweet or else he might find himself in mega trouble.

Undyne was still up above. I sucked in a breath, trying to move as slowly and cautiously as possible. I must have rolled a one for stealth, though, because a stick magically appeared and snapped as soon as I moved my foot. I collapsed into the grass, not caring how much noise I made as long as I was down and out of sight.

Undyne came to the very front of the ledge, peering down into the grass. Her helmet, shaped like some kind of deadly predatorial fish with sharp teeth, gleamed viciously in the dim light. Undyne summoned a spear into her hand, magical, pulsing with blue light, and waved it over my hiding spot to illuminate her view. I didn’t know if it was a solid fact or if I had just made it up to make myself feel better, but I thought I had heard that you shouldn’t look straight at someone who was searching for you because a direct gaze would draw their sights. Either way, I decided to look very hard at the grass surrounding me, clenching my jaw, not daring to breathe, but tensing in case I would need to run.

But the glow faded from above me. I heard a couple clanking steps and then nothing more. I stayed still just in case it was a trap, but nothing happened. Cautiously, I raised myself from the damp ground and tiptoed through the remainder of the grass, eyes upturned for any glimmer of magical light or a shine from a fish-shaped mask.

The appearance of Monster Kid almost made me jump. He burst out of the grass like a cork from a popgun, looking absolutely exhilarated. He spoke breathlessly, “Yo… did you see the way she was staring at you…? That… was AWESOME!!! I’m SOOOO jealous! What’d you do to get her attention…?”

I shrugged, trying to act as if everything was fine and I wasn’t anticipating Monster Kid’s yelling to bring an angry fish lady back to wreak havoc on our heads. “Stepped on a stick?”

The kid laughed, jerking his head and running past me. “C’mon! Let’s go watch her beat up some bad guys!” He tripped, faceplanting onto the ground.

“Are you okay?” I asked, instinctively flinching towards him.

“’M fine!” he answered, jumping up again and running forward. Within a second’s time, he was out of sight.

I shot another backwards glance at the ledge while I saved. The Determination spike seemed weaker here, as if I couldn’t find anything determination worthy in what had just happened. Although, honestly, it would take more determination to walk back through the grass then to keep moving. And keep moving I did.

The music in Waterfall always sounded to me a little too enthusiastic. In my opinion, the music would have been more fitting in a final battle pitted against a mystical blue wizard rather than such a subdued, cavernous labyrinth. But here now that I was walking around, hearing the music echo through the twisting tunnels was downright haunting. It wasn’t as loud as it had seemed before. More like the stones themselves were singing. It made a chill run down my spine.

The first puzzle came up quickly and I saw Bridge Seeds for the first time. They were large, even as seeds – almost as large as my head. They had leaves like a cattail that kept them aloft when I threw them in the water, where they bloomed quickly, spreading out into a firm surface. Three in a row was all that it needed to get me across. Once safely on the other side, I stared down into the water, dropping a stone in to see if it would reach the bottom. It was instantly swallowed by the black depths. There was no knowing how deep it was. I suppressed another shiver.

As soon as I entered the next room I was swept into an encounter with Aaron. The horse-merman creature was swimming in the underground lake off to my right, splashing water up onto his bared chest, presumably to make it shine, and making sure to show off his muscles to the most prominent degree.

Normally, flexing at someone I just met would be incredibly awkward and I would avoid doing that for any reason, but Aaron was giving me such a suggestive look and acting so over-the-top himself that I didn’t feel too embarrassed taking a gorilla position and grunting as I tightened my muscles.

“Flexing contest?” Aaron’s voice was nasal and horselike, but totally a voice I could hear coming out of a tv college jock. “OK, flex more.” And he winked flirtatiously, flexing and posing.

And so we got into a muscle competition. Outside of the game, I had thought of Aaron as something of a creep. But here in person I had to concur, yeah, he was kind of weird, but I had started flirting with Papyrus as soon as I started fighting with him, so who was I to judge?

Aaron’s motions became more and more aggravated with each round until finally he submerged himself completely beneath the water, bubbling and flexing hard and didn’t come back up. The encounter faded as I gathered the floating packet of G from off the top of the water, giving a backwards glance just in case the guy wanted a rematch.

Since I assume you know what the room looked like and how to ‘solve’ it, I’ll just skip to the part after I used the bridge seeds to cross the flowing water and headed toward the exit of the cavern, where my cell phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I asked, picking it up.

“HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!!!” cried the voice on the other side.

“Hey, Pap’rus,” I answered. “How’s it going?”

“IT’S GOING GREAT! I’VE SPENT OUR TIME APART DIALING EACH NUMBER SEQUENTIALLY UNTIL I GOT YOURS!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

“I could’ve just given it to you,” I said, my forehead creasing in mingled humor and exasperation.

“BUT… TO DO THAT I WOULD HAVE TO TALK TO YOU,” Papyrus pointed out. “AND I CAN’T DO THAT WITHOUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER.”

“Well, I guess that is a bit of a paradox,” I agreed.

“RIGHT! SO… I WAS CALLING TO ASK… WHAT ARE YOU WEARING…?”

“What am I wearing?” I frowned. Even though Papyrus couldn’t see me from his end, I hoped my puzzled tone came through.

“I’M… ASKING FOR A FRIEND,” he added. “SHE THOUGHT SHE SAW YOU WEARING A DUSTY TUTU. IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU WEARING A DUSTY TUTU?”

“Papyrus, why would I be wearing such a ridiculous article of clothing?” I answered his question with another question, taking a couple steps and kicking up my heels so said article swished.

“Y… YOU’RE RIGHT. OF COURSE! WHAT WAS I THINKING?” Papyrus decided firmly. I smiled a little bit to myself. I hadn’t lied, but Papyrus wouldn’t go blabbing to Undyne either. “SO YOU AREN’T WEARING A DUSTY TUTU. GOT IT! YOU’RE MY FRIEND, SO I TRUST YOU 100 PERCENT.”

Way to slap on the guilt, Pap’rus, I thought, making a face.

“HAVE A NICE DAY!”

“You too!” I blurted as he hung up. Feeling just the tiniest twinge of guilt, I walked onwards. I’m not a mean person. Even if Papyrus did force-feed me horrible spaghetti and would most likely rat me out to Undyne, that was no reason to blatantly lie to him.

So I obliquely lied to him? Was that better…?

I shrugged to myself and marched onward into the wishing room, peering up at the twinkling gems that dotted the darkened ceiling.

One encounter with Woshua later, I came across the plaques that told of the war between humans and monsters, and the monsters’ descent into the depths of the underground. Again, I’m assuming you know the tale. But the final plaque was something I hadn’t known existed. As I stood before it, I tried to scrounge up a memory of something like this being mentioned.

Instead of writing, there was an image of a being – a monster, I was positive – silhouetted against the backdrop of a heart-shaped human soul. The longer I stared at the drawing, the more disturbing it became. The monster in the illustration was hulking, seemingly massive. Its dripping claws and the folds of its cloak were contorted into shapes like screaming children. A shiver stole up my spine and I looked away, blinking hard to try and wash the afterimage from my brain. So… even the monsters feared to take a human’s soul. If this was propaganda – and it probably was – it was unencouraged to take a human soul. Oh, smash it around all you like and make it shatter into a million bits, sure! But if you take it be prepared to look like this monstrosity for the rest of your life.

No wonder they just killed me instead of attempting to absorb my soul.

A little wooden raft stood bobbing at the end of the pier. As I gingerly stood on it, the thing took off toward the opposite bank at a slow but steady pace. I bit my lip, balancing as best as I could and trying not to take a plunge into the black water. I was reminded of the Enchanted River from The Hobbit and my anxiety multiplied. My legs were shaking as I disembarked on the other side.

Walk it off, walk it off. I breathed out slowly, brushing down my tutu to give my hands something productive to do.

I didn’t have much of a chance to relax. A few steps forward and a bright blue streak of light shot down like lightning from the heavens, making me yelp and jerk backwards. The light from the glowing magic spear – for so it seemed to be – reflected off the armor of a formerly hidden figure in the columns above. Undyne.

Spears began to rain down around me, homing in on my position, guided by the thrust of Undyne’s armored arm. I began to run, dodging the deadly storm.

Pitch and dodge, duck and weave, quoted my brain, reviving a very old memory from my Redwall phase when I was seven.

Not the time, I responded, and got hit by a spear.

I was instantly yanked into an Encounter in which a literal rain of white spears came down from above. It was impossible not to get hit. As soon as the Encounter faded, I hit the ground and kept running. Again I was hit. Again another Encounter. And again. And again.

The end of the pathway is almost there! I gasped. I could see the dark seclusion of grass. A few spears whizzed overhead as I dove in, trying frantically to still my panting breath and stay as still as possible. I could hear Undyne’s heavy footfalls nearby, getting closer… closer.

She stopped. I heard her lunge for something in the grass. Monster Kid. She got Monster Kid, I thought, trying to reassure myself that the game was still on track and I wouldn’t be snatched suddenly in the dark.

There was a moment of silence, and then Undyne walked away, footfalls receding in the distance. I went in the opposite direction, becoming less and less stealthy as I got farther away, slapping the long grass aside in a frantic effort to escape. When at last I stood on solid stone, free of grass, I took a second to stand still, my hands gripping my hair, a small, crazed laugh in my throat as I thought of what might have happened if I had been caught by her spears one more time. Sure, I would come back to life, but that didn’t mean that being killed wasn’t still scary.

Monster Kid rustled out of the grass behind me, making my heart jump into my throat. His tail was wagging and he looked twice as excited as before. “Yo! Did you see that?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Undyne just… touched me!!! I’m never washing my face ever again!”

I laughed. Nope. It still sounded crazed. “Congratulations,” I said. Drat, why was I still shaky?

“Man, are you unlucky!” the kid added, seemingly not noticing my distress, or maybe chalking it down to me being as starstruck as he was. “If you were standing just a little bit to the left…”

Had Undyne really been that close to me? I puffed out my cheeks, exhaling slowly through my mouth at the thought. My stomach churned.

“Yo, don’t worry,” the kid consoled (for the wrong reason), “I’m sure we’ll see her again soon!”

He ran ahead, tripping over his own feet, but getting up quickly to run on. I rubbed my eyes, slumping against the stone wall and sitting down so that my feet splayed out, taking a quick moment to recuperate. I got up soon, recalling that there was a Save Point nearby and it would be best to rest after I saved, just in case.

Sure enough! In the next room was the cheese frozen in a crystal, a save point nearby. I felt refreshed by the rush of Determination, but still sat down to take a rest. I was NOT looking forward to fighting Undyne. Not. At. All. Out of all the fights in the game, Undyne’s was one of the toughest for me. Muffet’s was challenging, and Asgore’s took a while, but Undyne’s actually needed some smarts to figure out how to get by without landing a blow on her. At least since I knew how it shouldn’t be TOO difficult, but still…

How did this happen? I groaned to myself, putting my hands to my face. I mean, seriously. HOW? People don’t just disappear into videogames! That kind of thing only happens in fanfiction. Stories. Tron. If everything wasn’t so real I’d be inclined to believe that it was all a dream. But no. No no no, this was NO dream. I was here. In Undertale. Real life me in fake life Undertale. How?

I banged this question up and down around my brain box for a while but got no solid answer. There was no logical reason, no scientific reason, and I had to conclude that maybe I should just drop the whole thing and try to get home. As unsatisfactory as this resolution was, I had to stick with it or face total insanity.

Maybe I should talk to Sans about it, I thought, saving again and passing out of the room. He’s a smart guy. Maybe he’d have some kind of theory.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

No sooner had I thought of Sans then he came into sight, standing at attention beside a weird-looking telescope. He noticed my appraising glance and mentioned, “i’m thinking of getting into the telescope business. it’s normally 50000 G to use this premium telescope… but… since i know you, you can use it for free. howzabout it?” he gave an inviting wink.

I pinched my lips to the side, looking dubiously at the telescope and trying to decide whether or not to pretend to fall for the ‘red ink over the eyepiece’ prank. I have long lashes, and having some sticky liquid stuck in there sounded mightily unpleasant. “Meh, maybe some other time,” I said, shaking my head.

“well, come back whenever you want.” Sans didn’t look offended, at least.

I couldn’t help wanting to prolong our interaction. “Hey, do you have any… tips or advice for this general area? Like… how I should navigate?” I winced at how badly I had phrased this. “What I should expect and such?” Better, but still bad.

“how to navigate and what you should expect?” Sans echoed. He dug his hands a little deeper into his pockets and leaned back against the stone. “my advice would be… expect undyne and navigate accordingly.”

“Helpful.” I frowned, trying to push up my glasses and almost poking myself in the eyes because I didn’t HAVE glasses anymore. It had been happening every so often and it soured my mood even more. “But… what exactly am I supposed to DO about Undyne? ‘Navigate Accordingly’ doesn’t exactly let me know what I’m supposed to do about that… or her.”

Sans scratched his head with a mittened hand. “dunno how to spell it out for ya, kid. she throws spears, so… try to avoid those. and if possible, try to avoid her completely, yanno?”

“I can’t exactly do that,” I snapped. “She’s hounding me down, if you haven’t noticed. Literally hunting me.”

The skeleton shrugged. “be faster, then.”

“I can’t just ‘be faster’.” I made air quotes.

“listen, if you don’t want to take my advice, don’t ask for it in the first place, ok?” Sans relapsed into his previous lounging position, staring off into nothingness.

I took a moment to calm down. Why was it that every time I got near this guy we ended up getting into an argument? I didn’t want to fight with Sans every time I came across him! Like I’ve said, I liked the guy, but me plus a stressful situation plus an unhelpful Sans usually ended up with me in an argument with said skeleton. I couldn’t help but feel like Papyrus would be loads more helpful if I asked him. Actually, maybe I should call him and ask his advice instead.

On second thoughts, perhaps not. He was working with and for Undyne, after all. Come to think of it, so was Sans. Perhaps I shouldn’t be blaming Sans for being unhelpful and instead be thanking him for not turning me over instantly, like he should be doing according to his job description.

Well, first things first. I felt obligated to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” I told Sans. If there was one thing I was good at, it was apologizing. As an occasional idiot, it was a necessary skill to learn. Unless the conversation completely ended and I walked away first. If that was the case, there was NO WAY I was bringing it back up again.

Sans looked up, quirking a skinless eyebrow. “huh? for what?”

“For being like this all the time.” I waved a hand in a circle. “You know. Jumping at you every chance I get.”

Sans appraised me, his white pupils scanning from feet to face. His eyes crinkled a bit at the sight of the tutu, but passed by without remark. At last he shrugged. “fuhgeddaboudit,” he said. “i think we both have a knack for getting under each other’s skin.”

I smiled, gracing him with the smallest roll of the eyes. “Well, for as much skin as we both have.”

“tell ya what,” Sans stepped forward, inclining his left hand, “let’s shake on it and have done, ok?”

I brought my hand out as if I would shake, but reached out with my other hand as well, turning the shake into an inspection of his palm with a whoopie cushion cupped therein. I turned a highly displeased expression to his grinning face, alight with the picture of innocence. I tried to say something to the effect of “you sneaky, conniving little beast,” but didn’t make it past the first word. Something about the weirdness of the situation, paired with how he had almost gotten me but didn’t, struck me and I burst out laughing. I curled inward, giggling as I pressed my fist to my forehead, shaking my head back and forth. I could hear Sans laughing with me in the same key as the sound effect of his speech from the game, but far more contagious.

“WHY do you do this to me?” I asked when my fit of laughter had passed, still shaking my head and grinning hard.

“might as well bring a little fun into my life,” Sans answered, still looking highly amused.

“I’ll tell your brother on you – I swear I will!”

“do it. i dare you.”

“Oh, you DARE me? I have his phone number right here!”

I whipped out my phone and rang up Papyrus. Sans and leaned against the wall again, one eye closed, the other trained on me. Papyrus answered before the second ring. “HELLO, HUMAN!!!”

“Hey, Pap’rus!” My voice was sultry sweet. “Guess who’s standing next to me.”

“HMM…” Papyrus seemed to be considering. “IS IT A NICE PERSON???”

I guffawed. “That’s… not how I’d describe him. It’s your brother, Sans.”

“and his weird telescope,” Sans put in.

“And his weird telescope. Did you even know Sans had a telescope?” I asked.

“HUH? MY BROTHER? OF COURSE HE HAS A TELESCOPE,” Papyrus answered. “SANS LOVES OUTER SPACEY SCI-FI STUFF.”

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at Sans. He shrugged.

“HMM? HE NEVER TOLD YOU??” asked Papyrus.

“Uh, nope.” Even though he couldn’t see me, I shook my head.

“YEAH, SANS NEVER TELLS ANYBODY ANYTHING!” Papyrus seemed strangely enthusiastic about this. I blinked in evident confusion before dropping the subject and getting onto the topic I had called to discuss.

“Okay…? Well, anyway, can you guess what he almost did to me?”

“OH MY GOD, DID HE PRANK YOU?”

“Almost.”

“ALMOST???” Papyrus’s crackly voice sounded astounded. “YOU MEAN… MY BROTHER TRIED TO PRANK YOU… AND FAILED???”

“Uh… yep.”

“WHY, THAT’S AMAZING!!!” Papyrus’s voice rose until I had to take the phone about an inch away from my ear to avoid physical pain. “SANS’S PRANKS ALMOST NEVER FAIL!!! YOU MUST BE DEVILISHLY CLEVER, HUMAN, TO AVOID HIS FIENDISH TRAPS! WHAT DID HE *ALMOST* GET YOU WITH???”

“A whoopie cushion handshake,” I said, putting the receiver to my mouth and then withdrawing as soon as possible.

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! A CLASSIC FOR SOMEONE LIKE SANS!!! WHOOPIE CUSHIONS ARE HIS FAVORITE, YOU KNOW!!! BUT… YOU EVADED IT...” he sounded awed. “TRULY YOU MUST BE A MASTER BOTH OF JAPES AND PUZZLES, DEAR HUMAN!!!”

“I guess?” This conversation had not gone at all the way I had expected it to, but I wasn’t disappointed. Being showered with praise from the Great Papyrus was not in the least disheartening. It almost made up for his brother’s irritating mannerisms.

“I AM DELIGHTED FOR YOU, MY FRIEND!!!” Papyrus finished, then hung up without another word.

I put away my phone, smiling smugly. “He’s delighted for me,” I told Sans.

“well, that’s me told,” Sans said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “darn my meddling ways, i’ve learned my lesson, etc. say, why don’t we shake after a confrontation well avoided?” He didn’t even try to conceal the whoopie cushion this time as he extended his hand.

I shook my head and walked away decidedly. “You, Sans, are insufferable.”

I had a nicer conversation with the Nice Cream Guy. We ended up talking about different business procedures and I bought three Nice Creams off him to get a single free one. The ancient texts behind his cart had been painted over with a list of Nice Cream flavors, which pained me deeply. When pressed, the Guy only replied, “Oh, that? That’s been there for generations. Monsters must’ve learned those texts by heart by this point. Dullest stuff I’ve ever read. Nobody’ll miss them.”

“So… what did they used to say?” I inquired, rubbing at the red paint with my fingers and trying to decipher the covered writing.

“Um… uh… I don’t… I don’t really remember.” The Nice Cream Guy’s face crinkled in thought, then he simply shrugged. “Dunno. I just remember it was boring.”

“But it’s part of your history,” I argued.

“History’s boring,” he answered with another shrug.

We moved onto another subject after that. It seemed that his main passion was for business, bringing his own private industry up from the roots with himself as the only employee. Only for now, of course, he reassured me, and then immediately offered a job application. I thanked him, but rejected his offer since I would continue to move up and out.

“You know I’m a human, right?” I asked, interested to see his response.

“Sure!” he answered, putting the application back in his cart. “I’ve never seen one before you, but I can put the pieces together. You aren’t like what those old texts would have us think.”

“No?”

He shook his head so his long ears flopped from side to side. “Nuh-uh. They made it seem like humans were horrible creatures who wanted to dust every monster they saw. Squeeze us for EXP.”

A weird jolt settled in my stomach as he said that, but I shoved it down. “I don’t want that,” I said, trying to ignore the chill in my spine and the insistent feeling in the back of my mind that was trying to get loose.

Then the Nice Cream Guy smiled and the feeling was gone. “I can tell,” he said. “After all, you’re my best customer! You’ll come again, right?”

“I’ll do my best!” I exclaimed, taking this as my cue to get going. “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Ronnie!” He swept off his cap, taking out another punch card and offering it to me. “And for being such a devoted customer – and so polite – I’ll let you keep another punch card for free! Have a super-duper day!”

“You too!” I said, taking the card and waving goodbye.

I never got a chance to tell him my name, I realized, putting the Punch Card in my inventory and heading back toward the last Save Point to resave. Come to think of it, I didn’t think ANY of the monsters in the underground knew my name. From Toriel to Ronnie, I hadn’t told ANYONE. Nobody had asked. Kind of strange, that.

Was there some sort of custom I had missed? I wondered as the warmth of a friendly conversation with Ronnie filled me with Determination. Had I made some sort of social error for not introducing myself in some way only known to monsters, or was asking another’s name frowned upon in their culture?

No, no. That couldn’t be it. Ronnie had seemed anxious enough to please after I had asked his name. No type of cultural faux pas made there.

Maybe… maybe they just didn’t think of it. I nodded to myself. That must be the case for at least Papyrus, who insisted on calling me ‘human’.

Well, if they weren’t going to ask, I wasn’t going to press. I was doing fine going by ‘human’ or ‘kiddo’. ‘Hey you’ was also acceptable, in the human world as well as the monster world.

I found the ballet shoes in a tuft of long grass and installed them as my weapon, tying the laces (were they considered laces???) together so they could be used as a sort of nunchuck. I wouldn’t use them though, I promised myself, even though that weird out-of-body feeling hit again, making me shiver despite the warm air.

I also got another phone call from Papyrus, who had told Undyne I was DEFINITELY wearing a tutu because I had said I wasn’t wearing one. He must have sensed my annoyance, because his tone became shaky and he ended with a sorrowful, “I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE!” before hanging up. I simply sighed and marched onward, touching echo flowers as I went to listen to their forgotten wishes.

I had a nice talk with Onionsan: the giant anime-eyed squid who wanted to be back with her friends in the city. I was sympathetic, telling her that her friends probably missed her as much as she missed them, and she perked up visibly, seeming much more cheerful upon our departure than in the original game. She wished me a good journey and disappeared into the foaming water with a girlish giggle. In the next room I stumbled into another strange creature: Shyren.

Shyren was curled up in a corner, but I was still pulled into an Encounter as soon as I came near. Her ‘head’ seemed completely detached from her body, floating a few inches above it. It was only upon closer inspection as she turned slightly to look at me that I realized that the ‘head’ was a complete body unto itself and the creature called Shyren was like a floating fish creature and the thing I had declared a ‘body’ seemed to be a different being altogether.

Shyren’s hair veiled her face and she hunkered down as if willing herself to be unseen. Unfortunately, since I was in an Encounter, I couldn’t very well pretend I hadn’t seen her. (Even now I forgot that I could simply run away and the Encounter would fade.) So I did the next best thing: trying to strike up a friendly conversation like the good lady Toriel had always said. “Hey,” I said softly, like one would say to a timorous puppy. Shyren only cringed back more. She hummed a single wavering note that materialized into a magic attack, which didn’t come anywhere close to my position. “Ooh.”

“Ooh-ooh, child,” I hummed, picking up from the note she had just sung. “Things are gonna get easier…”

Shyren turned slightly in my direction. Taking this as an encouraging sign, I sang a little louder: “Ooh-ooh, child, things’ll be brighter…”

Shyren began to hum along with me in harmony. Her voice was thin, wavering, and she didn’t quite hit the right notes, but at least she was facing me now. By the time I had gotten to “Someday we’ll put it together and we’ll get it all done”, her notes were forming a small flurry of magic attacks, but fortunately it was to the beat of the music so I could just dance around them. Literally. And, unlike in the game, since it was a slow-ish song there weren’t as many notes to dodge as one might think.

And in case you’re wondering, yeah, the natural Waterfall music faded when I began to sing and a slow beat that sounded like an online karaoke remix of the song began to play instead. It fit in quite nicely, I think.

By the time the song ended, we had a small audience. Aaron had popped his head out of the water and was observing complacently and Onionsan seemed to be listening in. Now, something you should know by now about me is that I love to sing. I know I’ve got a decent voice and the balmy air of Waterfall was doing wonders to my throat, not to mention the nice acoustics of the walls. I’m not afraid to consider myself a bit of a ham, and the views from other people was helping my self-confidence. So I asked Shyren if she wanted to do another one. She looked at me through her curtain of hair and nodded.

I sang ‘A Million Dreams’ from ‘The Greatest Showman’ and Shyren sang harmony, her humming evolving into words over time. Her voice gained a little more confidence and she straightened up a bit, blushing as she looked over our audience, which was growing in numbers all the time. Even creatures who shouldn’t have been in Waterfall in the first place – like froggits and Greater Dog – had gathered to hear us sing. I don’t mean to brag, but… it was quite the performance.

Cheers erupted when we finished the song and those monsters who had hands clapped wildly. I shrugged at Shyren again. “Another?”

She nodded eagerly. Her hair was almost swept back from her face and she was fully turned toward the audience.

As I began the next song (Nobody Can Drag Me Down), I spotted Sans by the entrance of the cavern. He had draped a velvet rope across the entrance and was selling makeshift tickets off a toilet paper roll, letting monsters in one by one. He gave a wave as I saw him and I waved back, basking in the spotlight. Sans started to shoo monsters away from the entrance partway through the song. The place was packed.

The song ended and the cheers rang through Waterfall. I’m not sure if it’s a tradition among monsters, but our adoring audience began to toss small articles of clothing onto the stage, like socks and handkerchiefs. It was a good thing Papyrus wasn’t here, or else he’d be irate with how many socks people would need to pick up.

Halfway through ‘Under Attack’ by ‘Abba’, the thought struck me: how the heck was I going to get out of this? I was totally surrounded by monsters and I was still technically stuck in an Encounter and Shyren’s magical attacks were still flying thick and fast although I had been avoiding them splendidly with some impromptu prancing. Shyren’s spectral name at my feet was yellow, meaning I could end the Encounter any time, but this kind of popularity was hard to shrug off. What was I going to do afterward, wade through the crowd? Surf my way to the exit?

Shyren must’ve noticed my shift in expression because she smiled sadly when the song ended, hovering over to murmur in my ear, “You need to go, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I whispered back.

“One more,” she suggested. “A farewell song. We both have our own journeys to embark on.”

“Okay,” I agreed.

‘For Good’ from the musical ‘Wicked’ had always been a favorite of mine, and it seemed quite fitting for this occasion. A murmur of appreciation rose from the crowd as we finished and took our final bows. Shyren treated me to a final shy smile before ending the Encounter and Sans cleared everyone away. A moment later it all felt like a dream. Had this really all been in the game? Or was it just something fun for me to enjoy? I didn’t know. I had some research to do when I got back.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

The piano to the north could be easily unlocked with the seven note clue that tinkled out from underneath the statue when I put an umbrella over it to shield it from a storm of water from up above. I could’ve remembered how to unlock it without the clue, but there was something to be said for sequence. Especially with Sans skulking about and possibly watching. (Skull-king. Hah! I needed to save that pun for later!)

The simplistic musicbox melody had always been one of my favorites and I lingered a bit, dwelling on the statue’s woebegone countenance and letting chills creep up and down my spine as the euphoria from the concert with Shyren wore off. A touch of melancholy settled on my soul and I allowed myself to rest for a bit, swaying to the tune and letting the moment continue a little longer.

Smiling to myself, I walked away, still clinging to the sound of the song echoing down the corridor. It had faded completely as I sat on the piano bench and brushed my fingers over the faded keys. I was familiar with pianos. My grandma had taught me and my three younger sisters how to play as soon as we were old enough to reach the pedals. I was fairly decent at playing sheet music, could play chords from a fake book with ease, and prided myself on being able to pick out melodies by ear. Not that I was “the best” at any of these accomplishments, but I didn’t need to be the best with the task at hand. Humming the correct note to help my ear, it only took a second to pick the right key, and from there on out it was simple enough to find the sequence.

Seven notes later and I heard a grinding sort of pop. A doorway had appeared at the far end of the room. I entered, and inside was a shining pedestal, adorned with a red orb, shimmering majestically. I wrapped my hand around it, hefting it in both hands. It was surprisingly heavy. Not expecting much, I tried to put it in my pocket. Something obscured it from entering my inventory. Pinching my mouth in frustration, I checked my inventory. Sure enough, it said there was a dog in my pocket. Figures.

Well, why not try to beat the system? It wasn’t as if I was in a videogame. At least, not in the spiritual sense. I put the orb back on the podium and exited the room, putting my back to the doorway and getting into a goalie position. I checked my inventory. No dog. Back inside the room. Check inventory. Dog.

Did this dog have shortcuts too? Like, how was this canine warping in and out of my pocket like this? I sighed through my nose. Maybe Papyrus was right about the meddling canine thing.

Well, no matter. I was still holding all the cards, and guess what? They were all full houses.

The power of a Wheatley quote filled me with Determination and I picked up the orb again, lifting it like a bowling ball and giving it a roll across the floor and out of the room. But no sooner had I done that than the Annoying Dog burst out of my inventory, running after the orb as I hollered at him to stop. The theme ‘Dogsong’ blasted through the air. The dog tousled with the artifact, momentarily glowing red as it was absorbed into his body. With a decidedly smug look the dog pranced away, leaving me with the bare pedestal, alone.

I guess it was to be expected. Was I really expecting to cheat Toby Fox himself? In his own game? Maybe not. But even so I couldn’t help feeling a little bit dejected as I left the room to grab a new umbrella and head down the watery corridor. Splashing through dark puddles helped to alleviate my mood, as did the wet sound of raindrops, especially when I discovered Dog Residue in my pocket. Nasty.

Halfway down the corridor I met with Monster Kid who was standing beneath an overhang, looking up at the darkness from whence the raindrops came. “Yo, you got an umbrella?” he called. “Awesome!” He scampered over to join me underneath the plastic shelter and I shifted the handle to accommodate both of us. “Let’s go!”

And so we went. For someone who was enthusiastic about an umbrella-holder, he didn’t seem to want to spend much time beneath the umbrella itself. I tried to shield him whenever he ran ahead, but I soon discovered that this was a futile mission. He kept ducking aside, splashing in puddles, and giggling. I kicked water in his direction and soon we were in a splashing fight. It was fun, but it made me miss my sisters.

Monster Kid began to chat about Undyne, school, Undyne, and his teachers. Oh, and also Undyne. We talked a little bit about the king, but the conversation never varied much from what it had been in the game.

The end of the corridor led out into an enormous open cavern. Unlike the other ‘rooms’, this cavern seemed as if the entire mountain had been hollowed out with the sole purpose to accommodate this place. The ceiling disappeared in the darkness and a black lake hid the floor. The only thing that was visible was the castle in the exact center of the lake, glowing with lights from an innumerable number of windows, almost appearing to be floating in a sea of blackness where the water met the ‘sky’.

“Woah,” I murmured, stopping in my tracks to stare. I peered up into the inky blackness above me and caught the gleam of precious stones, shining like blue stars. They did little to light my path, but they were reflected in Monster Kid’s eyes as I looked at him. “Have you seen this before?” I asked him.

“Huh? Sure!” he responded. “I mean… not lots of times, but my family used to live in the capital. We went through this way when we moved to Snowdin. Man, that was only a few months ago but it feels like a really long time.”

“Hmm.” I nodded and continued walking. “It’s a lovely view.”

“Yeah.” The Kid scampered after me. “Hey, where did you come from? Did you move to Snowdin too?”

I bit my lip. I supposed it would be a bit of a spoiler if I told him I was human right off the bat. “I’m from… a very long way away,” I replied at last, still looking out over the black lake. Black water made me cautious. It reminded me of the Enchanted River in The Hobbit, and if there was one thing I had learned well from the chapter where they wandered through Mirkwood it was… well, actually it was to not stray off the path, but the second thing was to not let yourself get knocked into black water. It doesn’t go well.

“A long way away, huh?” Monster Kid kicked at a stone and ran ahead, stopping to look over the lake. “Like, that far away?” He pointed a clawed foot at the castle.

“Farther,” I said, stopping to join him. The ‘rain’ had stopped here, so I lowered the umbrella and leaned on its handle. I raised my hand and pointed toward the floating castle. “I’m headed there. Towards the king’s palace.”

“Yooooo,” Monster Kid’s exclamation was long and drawn-out. “Is that where your parents are?”

This gave me pause. I suddenly felt very tired. “They don’t know I’m here,” I said.

“Mine either. I snuck out to see Undyne! My parents never let me go out and see her!”

“You should probably go back to them,” I suggested, picking the umbrella back up and continuing onward. Monster Kid followed, his footsteps shuffling loudly.

“But dude, didn’t you just say you snuck out too?”

“I said they didn’t know I was here,” I corrected. “That doesn’t necessarily mean I snuck out without permission.”

I thought this sentence through, hoping that Monster Kid wouldn’t question it. He merely gave a laugh. “Ha ha! You’re weird. But that’s okay! I like weird. Come on! Let’s catch up with Undyne!”

The road led to a tunnel and the patter of raindrops sounded on my umbrella once more. A bin stood nearby and I replaced the umbrella, looking up at a ledge that blocked the way, about as high as my head. Monster Kid suggested that I climb on his shoulders to reach it and leave him behind so he could find his own way. I agreed only after some vocal concern. Inside I knew that he would be fine, but I couldn’t help feeling a little uneasy about letting a kid wander around like this, especially since he tripped again on the way back.

Oh great. I was projecting the spirit of Toriel now, was I? Figures.

Soon enough, I was back on the shaky wooden docks above the falls and the luminous blue lights from the flowers faded back into the distance like stars. I had saved just a moment prior – the wistful air of the forgotten voices filling me with Determination – but the exultant feeling the Save Points always gave me shook as a glowing blue spot appeared on the dock before me. I halted. Another blue spot appeared behind me, the circumference of the dot almost big enough to stand in. A second later and I was almost completely surrounded by the things. I clenched my teeth, anticipating what would happen next.

Spears shot from the center of the blue spots, making a hissing, semi-metallic noise as they appeared. Their brightness almost blinded me. I instinctively tried to make myself smaller to keep the razor-sharp magic blades from touching me. The blue faded an instant later and I looked upward to see the shining form of Undyne’s battle armor leering down at me. Before she could summon more spears, I ran.

Thus began the strangest game of stop-and-go I’ve ever been in. If you’ve seen the game, you’ll know how it played out. The glowing spots would appear on the docks in front of or around me. A second later a spear would spring out of its depths. Provided I hadn’t moved on before it sprang out, I would be dragged into an instant Encounter and showered with white spears, which would most likely hit me and chip away at my HP because they flew so fiercely. Then the Encounter would fade and I’d be at it again.

To make matters worse, the docks were absolutely labyrinthine. I tried my best to make my way through the twists and turns in a manner that made sense, but the near pitch blackness mixed with the sudden flashes of magical light put every sense on overload. I’m lucky I didn’t fall off the platforms.

I died once. If I had taken a second to scarf down one of my many stockpiled Nice Creams I might have made it on the first go, but the whole situation had taken me by surprised and my bewildered brain never thought of stopping for a snack. The second time around I took a little more caution and tried my best to keep a cool head, winding my way forwards and trying to make out dead ends to avoid in the dark.

Finally, after a sprint across a wide open platform where her spears gradually faded into the distance, I thought I had finally lost her. But then again, I was here at a dead end. I huffed, leaning over and putting a fist to my side, trying to suck in air that wasn’t completely devoid of oxygen and wishing for once that it wasn’t so humid down here. What happened now? I couldn’t remember.

Then I heard Undyne clanking behind me and suddenly did. I looked down over the edge of the dock and grimaced as a cold waft of air slithered past me. I couldn’t see the bottom. She was going to dunk me down there!

Undyne came into view, glittering coldly. Her predatorial fish helmet was even more frightening up close. Even though I was still gasping, I tried my best to straighten up. Undyne was rigid as a flagpole. I tried to take a more delicate stance, like Hiccup trying to train Toothless, hands up in a non-menacing manner.

“Can’t we just talk about this?” I asked. My voice barely rose above the pounding of the waterfalls. Undyne flexed her fingers just the tiniest bit and a literal wall of spears descended on the dock. I felt it shudder, then crack, and then my feet started to slide. My entire side of the dock began to fall into the nothingness below. I let out a yell as my feet left the wood and the rush of wind filled my ears. I was in freefall. Everything went dark.

I woke up slowly, feeling every crick in my spine snap into place as I moved my shoulders. Despite my discomfort, whatever I lay on felt almost soft. I tilted my head. Flowers. A bed of golden flowers, dewy from the spray of the waterfalls.

Come to think of it, hadn’t I just had a dream about golden flowers? I sat up, trying to remember. Was it a dream, or was it real? Had it just happened? I tried to recall.

I thought I had fallen. I ached all over, my head most of all. But then a voice… a voice spoke in the distance. “I think it came from over here…”

It was a young voice. A child’s voice.

“Oh, you’ve fallen down, haven’t you? Here, get up!”

A pair of soft hands around my shoulders and a tugging sensation. I had opened my eyes a crack and seen gold. A strange sort of anxiety had seized me and I struggled to remember what had happened, but all that emerged from my dry mouth was my name. Here in the present, I squinted, eyes tightly shut in recollection. I couldn’t remember actually saying anything, but I must have, because the young voice exclaimed, “Chara, huh? That’s a nice name! My name is—”

What was the name? I wracked my brain to try and remember anything more, but it was as if that memory was purposefully barred – locked up tight and sealed for safekeeping. I wasn’t meant to have seen any of it, and certainly not the end.

Asriel. His name was Asriel. But I couldn’t recall him saying it. All I could recall from the dream – or vision, whichever it was – were the furry pads of his hands, the helpful call of his voice, and the tug as he pulled me upright. All the rest was a dim and fuzzy blur.

So I did have some of Chara’s memories, I decided, crossing my hands in front of my knees and discovering several more sore spots on my body. Either that or the flowerbed somehow activated something. I probably should have looked at more Game Theorist videos before coming here.

I blinked several times, clearing my eyes to get a better look at my surroundings. My flower bed practically made up a little island in the middle of a rushing stream of water. A waterfall formed a solid wall on my left and there was a steep drop-off to my right where the dark, whispering waters rushed away into the black beyond. Behind me was no escape. Onward must I go.

And onward I went. After a tentative dip into the thigh-high black water, I began to wade my way forward, trying to avoid drifting bits of junk. Come to think of it, trash was piled high around me and even more was coming down the waterfall and getting caught on the level I was on, or carrying on past the second waterfall and into whatever lay beneath. Even though there was a lot of clutter in the water, the stuff piled up along the sides of the waterfall were amazingly well synchronized, almost to the point of being symmetrical, one side with another. It was confusing, to say the least.

It seemed as if a walkway had once graced this trash heap, but I couldn’t tell if it had fallen away naturally with age or had been pushed into oblivion by rushing water and trash. I suspected a bit of both. The bits that still held together seemed well-crafted and I was able to jump from platform to platform without having to touch the water.

Had I come down the first waterfall, or fallen directly into this level, I wondered, staring up into the inky blackness above me. My hair was damp, not wet, which suggested that I hadn’t taken a dive into water, but it was still hard to believe that I had landed squarely on the flowerbed for the sake of coincidence.

Then again, who said it was coincidence? And who said I had landed on the flowerbed to begin with? Chara’s memories had been activated somehow. Maybe Flowey caught me. Maybe his intervention had stimulated Chara’s memories, and maybe it was because of him that I had had such a vivid flashback.

Or maybe I was just overthinking videogame logic and Flowey had done nothing at all, I reasoned internally, reaching for the welcoming glimmer of a Save Point, perched on a little island of a walkway. Even so, the strange allure of an unsolved mystery filled me with Determination.

I tried to ignore the Dummy as I passed by, giving it a single fleeting glance as I stuffed the Astronaut Food into my inventory. I was full up, thanks to the Nice Cream, but I felt like I’d be lighter after this fight. My brain gave a fearful lurch as its head turned to face me well after I had passed it. The stuffed, vaguely monster-shaped lump of cloth on a pole disappeared under the water, then reappeared moments later in front of me, blocking the way out. He laughed maniacally, shaking beads of water out of his button eyes.

“It’s just like you to run away,” he chortled. I thought it was a ‘he’. Maybe it wasn’t. Hmm, I was sticking with ‘he’. “I am a ghost that lives inside a dummy! My cousin used to live inside a dummy too, until…” The fabric covering his buttons lowered until he was scowling more ferociously than ever, “YOU came along!”

“What did I do?” I demanded, flinging my arms wide open. “I just talked to them!”

“And that’s just the problem!” If the dummy had had fingers, it would be pointing in an accusing manner. “When you talked to them they thought they were in for a nice chat, but the things you said!!! Horrible,” it spat. “Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE!”

“I just told ‘em nice things,” I insisted, trying to figure out how to get out of this kerfuffle.

“But it spooked them right out of their dummy!” the Mad Dummy argued. “Human! I’ll scare your soul right out of your body!”

Again with the ‘human!’ business, I groaned as the Mad Dummy pulled me into an Encounter.

To the guy’s credit, he did make me eat my Astronaut Food and one Nice Cream. What can I say? The mini dummies he sent against me were pretty effective. They were a little on the cute side, too, so that didn’t help me to focus. But by dodging, I sent their magic attacks hurtling toward the Mad Dummy, who became more and more infuriated with each hit. Finally he fired his mini dummy staff and hired the dummy bots to send magic missiles after me. That’s where it really got complicated. But I dodged ‘em and sent them hurtling back toward the Mad Dummy. He was dancing from side to side, looking so furious that smoke practically stormed out of his head.

Finally, after a final ring of magic artillery nearly annihilated me – and I scarfed down yet another Nice Cream – Mad Dummy declared my foolishness loudly and threw knives (well, knife) in my general direction.

“I’m… out of knives,” he stammered, standing still for the first time in a very long while. But that was soon over, because he was back to gyrating in a second, declaring, “But it doesn’t matter! You can’t hurt me and I can’t hurt you! You’ll be stuck fighting me… Forever. Forever! Forever!!!!”

He laughed madly, swinging so wildly that I wondered if his sections would ever come back together again.

And then it started to rain. The rain avoided me, but some of the drops hit the Dummy. The sound of them hitting him reminded me of the solid thwack of leather against burlap – the hiss of sand seeping out of the Dummy’s punctured body, which began to disintegrate into dust…

“Wh- what the heck is this?” The Dummy’s voice snapped me from the strangely intrusive thoughts. I shook them away, but my heart was still beating rapidly. I felt flushed, for some bizarre reason. “Ergh! Acid rain?!?”

I looked up at the ceiling. The drops were coming as if from beyond the ceiling; as if materializing from nothingness.

“Oh, forget it!” the Dummy shouted, storming away from me, down the passageway. “I’m outta here!”

As soon as he was gone, Napstablook hovered down from the ceiling. “…sorry, i interrupted you, didn’t i?” they questioned, voice low. “as soon as i came over, your friend immediately left…”

“He was NOT my friend,” I assured, giving a frantic giggle, happy that the fight was over. “Thank you so much for getting him away from me. Can I give you a hug?”

“a……. hug……?” Napstablook seemed very taken aback. “i…. don’t think you can. i’m a ghost. we’re kind of incorporeal. s- sorry.”

My Encounter faded out and I was left back in hip-high water again, feeling soggy. “well… i’m going to head home now…” said the ghost. “oh… um… feel free to ‘come with’ if you want…”

“I’ll actually take you up on that,” I said, nodding and following Napstablook out of the wetness. The ghost hovered above the dark water, the only trace of moisture on its form was in its dampened eyes. Shame.

“n… no pressure…” Napstablook murmured. “my house is up here in case you want to see. or in case you don’t…”

“I would like to come, if you’ll have me,” I repeated, coming into the next cavern as the ghost drifted ahead. I stopped and looked around at the surroundings. The cavern I had just entered seemed to split into multiple caverns. To my left, when I stepped forward a bit, I could see across to where I had been before with Sans and the telescope. Now why hadn’t I just put my big girl knickers on and swum the short distance?

Because black water. And coldness. And not good idea. And moving on.

There were three tunnels up ahead, each leading to their own individual cavern. The leftmost one – which I only inspected after Saving – held Undyne’s house: a large, fortified building in the shape of a purple fish with razor-sharp teeth for a door and eyes for windows. The dummy was sulking sullenly outside. I decided to leave that house alone.

The center tunnel – to which I headed – held two houses that might have been out of a Doctor Seuss book. They started beside one another, but then leaned apart as they got to the roof section. Besides the colors, both were identical. The right house was red with a pink window. The left one was gray with a blue window. I went into the blue one and hung out for a bit with Napstablook, who seemed surprised that I showed up.

Since the hangout was (no offense to Napstablook) pretty boring, I’ll just skip to the detail most people are wondering about: the floor that warps out of reality when you lay down and feel like trash. To those who are wondering, no. No, it doesn’t actually display the entire galaxy when you lay down, but if you close your eyes you feel marvelously at peace. The ripple of music surrounds you and you feel invincible, like a timeless being of infinite age and infinite wisdom. Every breath seems like it takes an age in between and you can feel time warp around you. It was an incredibly relaxing experience.

Then I opened my eyes to see if Napstablook was having the same response and everything faded back into place. I was lying on the floor and all my joints felt stiff. Even though I must’ve only been there for a minute or so it seemed as if a decade had passed.

I thanked Napstablook for the experience and for the hangout, and took a try at snail racing. My snail didn’t win, but it didn’t combust either. I guessed that was good enough.

Moving on, I chatted with Gerson, the ancient turtle with a shop full of junk – none of which I bought. The pathways became trickier from then on out, illuminated only by glowing underwater mushrooms which only lit once you tapped nearby lamps, and then only for a short amount of time. Remembering where I was from the game, I inched my way along an unlit road down to Temmie Village. Since it’s a strange place, I’ll give you a highlight reel.

Humans are allergic to Temmies. It’s a sad fact of reality, because Tems always snuggle up close when you approach and hum in their little squeaks of voices about how cute you are, even though they’re the true cuties. But whenever you stay around them for too long, your eyes start watering and you start sneezing. Usually I keep some tissues in my pockets, but the game had caused these to evaporate when my pockets gave access to my inventory. Nice Creams and Dog Residue only do so much.

I sold off some of my seemingly unending supply of Dog Residue and Dog Salads for some G at Tem Shop and got out of there before the music drove me insane. Out of all the tracks in the OST, the Tem Shop music was – in my opinion – the worst.

During the next half hour or so of floundering in the wet darkness, I was jumpscared multiple times by Aaron and his best buddy Woshua. They were an odd duo, but they showed up multiple times and I had to fight them as the cavern gruadually grew darker and darker around me. I was unable to light up the path again without abandoning the fight – and even when I attempted to they still followed me. Honestly, those two were even more annoying than the Tem Shop music.

After a final patch of chanting echo flowers, I plunged through a mass of thick darkness, occasionally wading through thigh-high water and scrambling up on an opposing shore. When I say that it was dark, it was DARK. Once I had gone on a guided cave expedition on a trip and the guides had turned off all the lights. They said that when you thought you saw your hand waving in front of you, that was just your brain playing a prank. There really was no light. It was the same here. I closed my eyes and it was just the same. I felt like Gollum in the darkness beneath the Misty Mountains, forever cold and wet with eyes searching forever for a single solitary light, but afraid of being discovered if he found one.

An echo flower gleamed before me – that one speck of light I needed. It barely illuminated anything, but just the fact that I could see my own hands as I stretched them out before me made me feel a little bit better. But then the flower spoke and that good feeling drained away.

“Behind you,” it murmured.

It was like Sans all over again. I didn’t want to turn around, but I was afraid of what would happen if I didn’t. Slowly I turned, my clothes squishing as I did. At first I could see nothing, then the cavern grew somewhat brighter – from what, I couldn’t tell – but my heart jumped into my throat as I realized that before me – closer than ever before – stood Undyne.

Hoo boy. She was tall. That was something it was hard to judge in pixelated form. But Undyne… she be tall. Taller than Papyrus at any rate, which set her over six feet tall. Closer to seven with that helmet on. Tall and mean looking. I wondered if she was squinting through her helmet. Her fists were clenched and she took a few clanking steps forward. I wanted to back away, but the tunnel ended with the flower. I couldn’t flee.

“Seven.” It was the first time I had heard her speak. Her voice was nasal, growling, but still feminine. It sounded like a classic stereotypical bully turned female. She lacked the accent I had given her on my playthrough, which I appreciated. I regretted that accent. “Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King Asgore Dreemurr… will become a god.”

Every muscle of mine was tensed to act. I couldn’t nod in recognition of her words or change my expression, even if I had wanted to. I could only listen.

“With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the barrier,” the warrior continued. “He will finally take the surface back from humanity and give them back the suffering and pain that we have endured.”

I opened my mouth to say something. Couldn’t. Closed it again.

“Understand, human?” It was clearly a rhetorical question. “This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul… or I’ll tear it from your body.” This was said with a savage pleasure, as if she wished me to resist and grant her the fun of ripping out my soul. I still didn’t trust myself to talk. After such a beautiful speech, I was afraid the only thing my dry mouth – which was the only dry part of me by now – would spew would be a croak or a squeak. So I just gave my head a stiff jerk to the side. No. No, I would not give up my soul. Not easily. Not today.

Undyne lowered her head, getting into a ready stance. A glowing blue spear materialized in her hands and she advanced. She came in spurts as if I might lunge roguelike with a knife, but I stood my ground and let her come to me. I could feel the world dematerializing into the Encounter state around me.

Come on, Monster Kid, where are you???

Just when I thought I would be gone for good, the kid burst out of the rushes on my right, skittering right between us, in front of her magical blade. “Undyne!!! I’ll help you fight!!!” He looked from her to me, feet enthusiastically tapping. “YO!!!!” he enthused, looking – if possible – even more excited. “You did it!!! Undyne is right in front of you!!!”

“She sure is,” I agreed. As happy as I was to see that the story was still on track, seeing the tip of her spear pointing directly at the back of his head didn’t inspire confidence. I was torn. Should I warn him to move or keep hiding behind him?

The kid still didn’t seem to notice. “You’ve got front row seats to her fight!!!”

“Yeah…” About that…

He swiveled, looking about for the contestant who dared to challenge the all-powerful Undyne and suddenly something clicked. “Wait. Who’s she fighting???”

Undyne made a sound like a savage sigh and her spear disappeared. She grabbed Monster Kid by the scruff and hauled him after her like a disobedient puppy. “H-hey!” the kid yelled. “You aren’t going to tell my parents about this, are you?” In a mere moment’s time both of them had vanished into the darkness.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

As much as I wanted to take a minute to recuperate, I didn’t have the time. Undyne was gone, but not for much longer. I needed to move. Tentatively I followed the path she had taken, slipping down a tunnel I had missed in the dark. I brushed my hands past the echo flowers therein, letting them babble. Once I thought I heard something strange in one of them, but when I poked the flower again it said only the normal things about wishing to be free from the mountain, so I moved on, chalking it down to nerves.

I crossed a bridge over a spiny ravine, trying hard to keep in the center of the slim pathway. No guardrails. How come there were never any guardrails? It had been wayyyyy too long since my last Save Point and I did NOT want to wake up in Temmie Village again. Not after all this slogging.

“Yo!” I heard a voice call from behind me. I stopped and allowed Monster Kid to catch up with me. I wanted to back off the bridge – the end seemed really close! – but that seemed kinda rude. Monster Kid advanced tentatively. He had a new look in his eye as he approached, and he stopped several times before closing the distance, as if suddenly wary.

“Hey, man,” I greeted, sticking my hands into my pockets. His claws tapped the floor and he found it hard to meet my eyes. “What’s up?” I asked.

“Yo, I know I’m not supposed to be here,” he blurted, “but… I wanna ask you something.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

He looked even more nervous. “Man, I’ve never had to ask anyone this before…”

I chuckled. “No worries. First time for everything.”

“Um… yeah. Um… Yo… you’re human, right?” he giggled nervously and didn’t even wait for me to answer before exclaiming, “Man, I knew it! Well, I know it now, I mean. Undyne told me, um, ‘stay away from that human’. So, like, um… I guess that makes us enemies or something.”

“It doesn’t have to,” I deflected.

“Of course it does! Monsters are always the enemies of humans! But I kinda stink at that.” He laughed again. His dino tail wagged. “Yo, say something mean so I can hate you?”

“No!” I told him incredulously. Of course I wasn’t going to say anything mean!

“Please?” he begged.

“No,” I repeated.

“Yo, what?” he looked disappointed. “So I have to do it? Here goes nothing…” he inhaled. “Yo, I… I hate your guts.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Ouch?”

Even though it was purely sarcastic, the kid might have taken it as fact because he wilted right before my eyes, taking a step back and hunching his shoulders. “Man, I… I’m such a turd,” he muttered.

“Hey, I wasn’t that hurt!” I exclaimed, but he continued to move away.

“I’m… I’m gonna go home now,” he said, and began to trot away across the bridge.

“Be careful,” I yelled, or tried to yell because at that moment the clumsy little kid tripped and the lack of guardrails – which I mentioned before wink wink – suddenly became a plot point as the kid fell over the edge, barely catching himself on a tiny ledge down below, grappling with his feet. His chest was hooked on the edge, but it wouldn’t stay like that for much longer. He yelled in consternation and Undyne suddenly appeared on the far side of the bridge, losing much of her aloof posturing as she saw what kind of predicament we were all in.

I scampered forward, keeping low just in case she wanted to throw some spears. “Give me a minute!” I shouted in her direction, leaning down and pulling the squirming kid up as best I could. “Let me help him first, then I’m all yours! Okay?”

It felt like picking up a snake in a shirt. He was all wriggly and slippery inside, so I pulled mostly on the knitted shirt he wore. A lack of armpits made him difficult to lift, but with a bit of struggling we made it to safety. “Okay, okay,” I huffed, my hands still on his sides as I guided him away from the edge. He stumbled to his feet, but I stayed on my knees, laughing a little at my fear. I had felt pure adrenaline in that moment.

I heard a clanking sound. Oh, right. Undyne was still a thing. I glanced around Monster Kid’s legs as he turned to look at her. I guessed I should stand up, but I didn’t really feel like it. I wanted to stay down. As I watched, the kid planted his feet a little more firmly.

“Yo, dude,” he told Undyne, voice trembling a little, “if… if you want to hurt my friend… you’ll have to go through me.”

I felt it again. That weird sense of déjà vu through someone else’s eyes. As if I was standing, not kneeling, and looking at Monster Kid through a veil of excitement. He was afraid. He was very, very afraid. The fear was palpable. But I had to do this. I knew what had to be done. I WANTED to do this. Why bait the little fish when there were bigger ones to fry?

No. I shoved the mental image away, thrusting myself back into the present with a shake of my head and examining every chink in Undyne’s armor in an attempt to keep myself this way. No mental excursions down another lane. None of that. That was a future that would never be. I didn’t want to see it. I wanted to pretend it didn’t exist. All that existed was right here, right now. I rubbed my fingers against the splintering wood of the bridge I knelt on. This was real. Monster Kid standing between me and Undyne, that was real too. As was the chance that she might vault over him and come after me so I had to stay alert and get ready to run if I had to. Focus. Focus on these things and keep the darker tides at bay.

Undyne finally retreated and a little tension went out of Monster Kid’s frame. “She’s gone…” the told me, turning back around. I could see him shaking. Just like in my vision… no, don’t think about that. Don’t think about it. I felt like I had my back to a straining door. If I moved an inch it would blow wide open. I knew what happened next. I didn’t want to see Undyne’s melting face. I didn’t want to see her become the Undying.

What were these visions? I was sorry, okay? I didn’t want the genocide run to begin with – I just wanted to see if I was a pro enough gamer to defeat Sans! I didn’t need constant reminders of what I could have been.

“Yo, you really saved my skin,” Monster Kid laughed.

I laughed back, getting to my feet. “And you saved mine. I guess that makes us even, then?”

“Ha, I guess it does. Yo… guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We’ll just have to be friends instead.”

“Yeah, I’d be down for that!”

“Coolness.” Monster Kid looked over his shoulder. “Man… I should REALLY go home. I bet my parents are worried sick about me.”

“Yeah, you go home.” I pointed back toward Snowdin. “Stay safe, okay? No more falling off bridges.”

Nodding to himself, the kid scampered off. A few steps away he stopped, yelled, “Later, dude!” and vanished into the dark.

I grinned to myself, wondering if I really would see him later, trying to remember how it worked in the game. Would I go back to Snowdin, ever? Probably, since I was shooting for the Pacifist Ending, but would he be around?

I felt a zing inside my head and decided to keep moving, focusing on the way my feet hit the ground, the texture in the walls, ANYTHING to keep myself from drifting into that unknown region of an individual timeline. As carefully as I could, I began to analyze that situation. It didn’t feel like I was going to get sucked into a different timeline. Maybe it was just me barring myself from the possibility of that situation, but it felt like there was a bar there already. It didn’t feel like a vortex. Just a window. A peephole into a possible future. That was all it was.

I felt another zing and dropped the subject, moving a little faster away from the bridge. I didn’t want to trigger another vision just by thinking about it. I would think about it later.

I wished I could talk to someone about this. The first person who came to mind was Sans, but I waved this aside. He didn’t even know I was from another universe! Who knew if I would ever tell him.

Did I want to tell him? This was something I had never considered. Usually in oc-inserts when people got dropped into games or movies or whatever, at least one person was notified – usually the first person the oc meets – but so far I hadn’t told ANYONE. To be honest, I was a little proud that I had kept my act together and integrated so well, but… was it really healthy to be pretending to EVERYONE that I was native to their world? And if I did end up telling Sans, how would he react? I had reset his world, after all – after getting a happy ending, no less! – so why would he react kindly to such a confession?

But… I might need his help. Especially if these visions got more vivid.

I looked up for the first time in ages and decided to set these thoughts aside. I had arrived at the entrance to Hotland – a great gaping maw of a cavern the only way through a spiny barrier of stone. On top of the pinnacle like a flag on the peak of a minaret stood Undyne. She was rigid, unbending as a tree, the plume on her helmet flapping in the gusts of hot air that drifted from my next objective.

“Seven.” Her voice rang out. She was facing away from me, but still I could hear her clearly. “Seven human souls and King Asgore will become a god.” She twisted to the side and I could see her head was bowed. “Six. That’s how many we have collected thus far. Understand?” Now she was fully turned, glaring balefully down at me. “Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed. First, however, as it is customary for those who make it this far… I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people. It all started long ago…”

Undyne drew in a breath as if ready to embark on a long-winded story, but then stopped. She glanced back down at me. “No, you know what?”

Undyne’s theme struck up with sudden ferocity, annunciating her words like the jab of a conductor’s stick. “Screw it! Why should I tell that story when you’re about to die!?!” She let out a bloodchilling cry that echoed off the walls as she ripped off her helmet and threw it to the side. Unmasked for the first time, the captain of the Royal Guard was no less intimidating that she was with her helmet on. Her red hair rippled in the wind and her single yellow eye glared down at me. The other was covered with a patch. Her pointed teeth were revealed and her upper lip was curled in a snarl. Her blue-tinted skin and lack of nose made her look fishlike – if that fish was some species descended from a shark.

“YOU!” Undyne bellowed, pointing down at my position. “You’re standing in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams! Alphys’s history books made me think humans were cool with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen!”

We had those? I wondered. Oh, wait, Alphys’s history books were all manga. Nevermind.

“BUT YOU?” Undyne continued, sneering, “You’re just a coward! Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again!”

I almost tried to argue, but then decided it was a bad idea. Plus, I didn’t think anyone (including myself) could hear my voice over her thundering music.

“And let’s not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes schtick!” She mimicked a high-pitched voice. “Oooh, I’m making such a difference by hugging random strangers! You know what would be more valuable to everyone? IF YOU WERE DEAD!!! That’s right, human! Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now I can feel everyone’s hearts pounding together!—”

She lost my attention then. That single line – everyone’s hearts pounding together – brought back the vision. I saw Undyne’s melting face merging back together, her armor binding stronger than ever. Her patch was gone and she was formed out of pure, raw energy. And I felt excitement. I wanted to face her down. I wanted to—

Nope, nope, nope. I was getting pretty good at reeling myself back. I might have missed a line or two, but Undyne was still monologuing. “Now, human!” she was wrapping it up. “Let’s end this, right here, right now. I’ll show you how determined monsters can be! Step forward when you’re ready!” She laughed, throwing her head back, but still maintaining perfect balance. Amazing.

I Saved, my hands shaking slightly. Part of it might have been the Determination, but I felt sudden excitement. I knew who I was fighting. I knew what I was getting into. All I needed to do was step into the ring and then I wouldn’t be scared anymore. I wouldn’t be anticipating. I would be doing. I checked my items. Meh, could be better. I still had several Nice Creams and a spider donut that I probably shouldn’t have taken out of the chest at Tem Village, but here it was as well. I Saved again. The knowledge that Undyne was probably the most terrifying enemy in Undertale and I knew beyond a doubt that I would triumph filled me with Determination.

I stepped forward.

“That’s it, then…!” Undyne lunged downward. “No more running away! Here I come!!!!!”

She landed before me, spear cracking the ground around her. I was pulled into an Encounter. Undyne waved her spear over me and my soul turned a neon green. It felt weird – stuck in place. I could move my feet and my body, but that part of me had to stay in the same place. I couldn’t duck, couldn’t lunge forward, couldn’t jump… nothing! All I could do was pivot. Or twirl, very awkwardly. Undyne tossed a spear to me – tossed, not hocked – and I caught it in both hands.

“En guarde!” Undyne called.

I panicked. “I don’t want to fight you,” I yelled, not caring now if my voice squeaked or not.

“As long as you’re green you can’t escape,” Undyne stated, completely ignoring my startled shout, “Unless you learn to face danger head-on, you won’t last a SECOND against me!”

She began to send spears methodically my way. All of them were from one direction this round – coming straight from her. I held up my spear in front of me and a blue sheen surrounded it. As soon as the spears hit my weapon, they vaporized. I didn’t get a single hit.

I had a shield, of sorts. I felt a little better. I Spared again.

“Not bad!” Undyne congratulated. “But how about THIS!?”

Now the spears flew in from the sides as well as from her. I turned to face each of them, my own spear held out in front of me like a baton, twirling and whacking each to the side. Not one touched me.

As we continued to battle, Undyne’s attacks became progressively more difficult. It was hard to move with my soul in such a fixed state as this. Like in the Papyrus battle, you take it for granted beyond the screen when you can see what’s coming at you from every angle. When you’re no longer in a top-down view it becomes much more difficult to keep track of everything that’s going on. Just like in the game, I didn’t keep track of when Undyne first turned my soul back to red. I was more concerned as to why my spear had just disappeared out of my hands. I hadn’t paid attention to the many other spears that had hit me and how they had depleted my HP. I hadn’t even eaten anything to keep it raised. Thus befell my first death. The first of many.

Each run blended into another. I would step up and Undyne would come down. She would throw me a spear and I would spare. We would spar. She would rant on and on about the underground and how even if I was tough, I would never make it past Asgore and how killing me was a favor. I didn’t really try to answer her. Like I said, deflecting her attacks were tough. I wished I had a shield or something, not a spear. I would spare every turn, unless I had to heal, and then I would shove some Nice Cream in my gob and keep deflecting.

After my heart turned red, I would take off running. One thing that not many would know about me: I’m fast. Maybe not Usain Bolt fast, but I’m pretty good at a full-out sprint. Forget marathons or a 5K. Race me to that tree. You might win – in fact, you’ll probably win because I’m out of shape and hate to exercise – but I enjoy the thrill of a good sprint.

But even at a dead-on pelt, Undyne still clattered up behind me and my soul was green again before I knew it. But now I was ahead of her, and would continue to be ahead of her until I inevitably died. Again. But I’d learn her attacks. I’d sweep them aside with – if not a well-trained or flamboyant gesture – at least an adequate one.

The feeling in the back of my head I kept safely tamped down with adrenaline and a stiff focus that I had never used before. I feared that, like in my fight against Papyrus, I would suddenly find myself trapped in a vision. Unlike my skeletal friend, Undyne would have no qualms about striking me down on the spot.

No matter how many times I got close, death soon followed. I heard the lilting sound of the familiar tune which heralded the Game Over screen in the game and a deep, rumbling voice murmuring in a patient tone to Chara. Don’t give up. Stay determined. You are the future of humans and monsters. No matter how much I wanted a rest from being alive, that deep voice awakened a passion inside my heart and I grasped at life. I could do this. I could. I WOULD.

Then I would wake up and keep trying, stretching out my rations to the limit, learning the attacks and taking each hit with a smaller grunt than before. Undyne’s face began to contort in a grimace of annoyance and – dare I think it? – respect.

“Alphys told me humans were determined,” she grunted through sweeping strokes as she directed her spears, “I see now what she meant by that.”

But that didn’t stop her. The spears just kept coming. It was only after she announced, “Die already, you little brat!” that the fight reached its climax. I spun in place, wishing I had two spears instead of one, whirling that blade in all directions, trying to anticipate every attack before it came. White spears by the dozens, plus those awful yellow ones which jumped over you and came in from the opposite side to stab you in the back, caused an unending nightmare of torment. At 2 HP she finally relented and turned my soul back to normal. I stumbled away, took off running, didn’t look back.

I was gasping. I had passed through the tunnel into Hotland and my wet clothes had already dried in the blazing air. A large billboard shone before my eyes, welcoming me to the new area. I was blinded by neon green and red. Hopefully Undyne was too.

I tripped. I don’t know what I tripped over, but I suddenly found myself skidding in the dirt, tumbling an awkward roll to try and get to my feet again. Undyne was right behind me!

Just then, my phone rang. This scenario could have been used at the beginning of a theater production instead of the MnM’s telling people to turn their cell phones off before the movie began. Horrible, terrible timing! My hand instinctively went to my phone and just like that Undyne stopped dead. She was still huffing, sweat dripping down her face, but she stopped and waited for me to take the phone call. Still puffing myself and hardly believing this incredible stroke of luck, I flipped it open. “Hello?” I gasped.

“HEY! WHAT’S UP!?” Papyrus’s incredibly loud voice blasted through the receiver.

“Oh, you know, stuff,” I answered, warily getting back to my feet and wondering just how sore I was going to be the next morning. Would Undyne keep chasing me if I tried to quietly back away? Probably. She was making menacing gestures.

“I WAS JUST THINKING…” Papyrus continued, “YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME!”

“Umm…?” I questioned, peeking back at the scary fish lady. “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

“OF COURSE!!! I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! LET’S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!”

Okay, Undyne’s baleful expressions were really starting to freak me out. “Okay, listen, dude… is it alright if I call you back later? I’m kinda in the middle of something here.”

“OH, ALRIGHT! TALK TO YOU LATER, THEN!!!”

With a small click, he hung up. I took one more deep breath, securely attached my phone, and took off again like a deer at the sound of a rifle. Undyne kept pace behind me. She snagged me into another Encounter, but I broke free, feeling as if my lungs would burst.

The tunnel ended and I pelted out into the raging inferno that was Hotland. A constant gust of hot air blew past me and a dust devil skittered past. Honestly, it felt like Arizona.

Sans sat at his sentry station, snoozing. A trail of Z’s appeared over his head like little ghosts, fading once they reached a certain height. His head dipped on his chest and both his eyes were closed. “Sans!” I screamed at him, streaking past. I think he jerked upright at that, but I didn’t stop to look. I could hear Undyne yelling at him as I ran onto a bridge over a chasm of lava. Probably not the safest move, but hey, it was my only option at the moment. Once I was on the bridge, there was nowhere to go but forward. I didn’t stop until I reached the other side.

I swiveled, anticipating the arrival of Undyne. There was a nasty sulfurous fog over the bridge. I couldn’t tell how close she was. All I could use to estimate were her footsteps, and they were becoming slower and slower. Soon enough she emerged, looking like a fish out of water. She was absolutely drenched in sweat, but looking dry as a bone. Her previously viciously swinging hair was lank and her eyes dull. “Armor… so… hot…” she muttered. “But I can’t… give up…” She attempted one more step, but her foot caught on a raised board of the bridge. She tumbled to the ground and didn’t move.

There was a convenient water cooler just behind me. I guessed it was probably a ‘good on you mate’ sort of gesture for making it across the first lava pit. Whatever it was for, I didn’t care. I took a cup and filled it with lukewarm water, took a quick sip because I was still gasping, filled it to the brim again, and brought it over.

No, you know what? This wasn’t enough for Undyne. I put the cup on the ground and lugged the entire water cooler over to her location. Then I flipped it upside down, unscrewed the top, and allowed myself unlimited access to the water inside. The bible verse about ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he thirsts, give him a drink’ came suddenly to my mind as I ladled water into Undyne’s armor, letting it trickle onto the base of her neck, and treating myself to a splash while I was at it. I wiped her sweaty forehead with my sleeve and was rewarded by the slightest shift of movement. Her eye rolled upwards and met with mine. Her face scrunched and she heaved herself upright after several false starts. I backed away, anticipating a swift demise.

Undyne appraised me from top to toe, from the leather boots I still wore to my flushed, sweaty face. I held my other hand out in a placating gesture, but I didn’t say anything. I just latched eyes with her and tensed, ready to run if need be.

Undyne looked over the pool of lava on her left, then on her right as if surveying the battle ground she had chosen for herself. Then she looked back at me and the Styrofoam cup I held clenched in my hand. It was starting to melt due to the heat. I didn’t even know that Styrofoam could melt, but this one was melting away into nothing. Undyne’s expression held confusion. Disgust. Regret?

She turned away, walking back into the fog that shrouded the bridge, leaving our battle to another time. In a moment, even her footsteps faded and I was left alone.

I let out a gasp of air I didn’t realize I had been holding. I giggled maniacally, realizing that it was over. No more fighting, no more running. I had defeated Undyne!

But wait, no need to be so hasty. I had to get to a Save Point before I accidentally fell in lava or something. Shaking off the last remnants of Styrofoam, I ran for the Save Point up ahead, collapsing in front of it and feeling Determination seep through my bones.

Knowing that Undyne no longer chased after me filled me with Determination.

Up ahead loomed the Lab – an impressive structure of white (presumably cool) stone. To my left was an elevator, guarded by Royal Guard members in black armor. To my right was a descent. I couldn’t see where that led to from where I was. Honestly, all I wanted right now was to flop. I dragged myself over to the laboratory wall and leaned against it, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I wanted to do nothing. I wanted to just stay here and cease existing. Was that too much to ask? For just ten minutes?

Oh, wait, I had promised to call Papyrus back. I fished out my phone and dialed his number, still feeling a pang when I saw Toriel’s number unused beside it. “Hey, Pap’rus,” I greeted when he answered.

“HUMAN!” Papyrus exclaimed happily when he heard my voice. “ARE YOU IN HOTLAND BY NOW?”

“Yeah, leaning up against ‘the Lab’, apparently,” I said, leaning forward and craning my neck a bit to see the dark letters engraved on the side of the building.

“HMM… A MYSTERIOUS SCIENCE HOUSE,” mused my friend.

Suddenly from the other side I heard Sans pipe in, “the sign outside says ‘lab’.”

“LAB?”

“like… laboratory.”

“LABRADOR…Y?” Papyrus continued to muse. “DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE DOGS INSIDE?”

Sans chuckled. “i mean. i wouldn’t rule it out.”

I laughed along, letting my eyes roll shut. “I don’t hear any from here, though. Must be quiet dogs.”

“OF COURSE! THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND!” Then I heard him mutter, “DOG HOUSE…”

I let out a long, groaning sigh through my teeth. “Ohhhhhh man, I’m so tired…”

“makes sense,” Sans said. “i mean, it is almost midnight.”

“Wait, seriously?” I took the phone away from my ear and examined the time. Yup. Sans was right.

“YOU’VE BEEN WALKING THROUGH WATERFALL ALL AFTERNOON!” Even with the phone away from my ear, I could hear Papyrus clearly. I put the phone back just in time to hear him say, “WHERE WERE YOU PLANNING TO STAY TONIGHT?”

“Uh…” my mind drew a blank. “I dunno. I guess I could come back to Snowdin and stay at the inn…”

“NONESENSE!” blustered Papyrus. “WHY, WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM HERE AT THE HOUSE! YOU SHOULD STAY HERE WITH US!!!”

My eyebrows raised at this suggestion. “You would have me?”

“OF COURSE WE WOULD HAVE YOU!!! OUR HOUSE IS THE FINEST HOUSE IN TOWN! WHY, IT COULD BE LIKE A SLEEPOVER! MY BED IS OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR, OF COURSE, SO YOU CAN NAP THERE FOR THE NIGHT!”

“Ah,” I said, suddenly realizing that some guy I had just met that day had invited me into his bed and this was maybe not the best idea. “I d- I really don’t need your bed. I can just sleep downstairs on the couch. That’d be fine with me.”

“ARE YOU SURE??? BECAUSE MY BED IS FAR MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THE COUCH WILL EVER HOPE TO BE! THE COUCH ISN’T RACECAR SHAPED!”

“but you have to admit,” Sans drawled, “the couch will never… DRIVE you crazy.”

Rimshot. Wince. I instinctively pulled the receiver away from my ear as Papyrus exploded with irritation. “Ouch, dude,” I interjected with a grin once Papyrus was done. I could picture Sans shrugging. “But seriously, Pap’rus, I’m fine with just the couch. I’d prefer it, really.”

“WELL, IF YOU’RE SURE. COME, SANS!!! WE MUST PREPARE FOR OUR GUEST!!!”

“see you soon, kiddo,” Sans said.

“Yep. You too.”

The line went dead.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

Apparently, the path due south of my location led to a stream. I should’ve guessed, based on how the game had prognosticated it, but I claim faulty brain on this one, okay? I was tired.

A hooded figure in a wooden boat looked up from the steamy depths of the Hotland-heated underground river to stare with equal interest at my approaching form. There was a sea of blackness inside the hood. I wondered if there was actually anything under there or if there was truly nothing to see. As I approached, he swished his cloak and made a short bow. “Tra-la-la,” he droned in a lilting voice. “I am the riverman. Or am I the riverwoman? It doesn’t really matter.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, returning his bow with a dip of the head.

Another swish of the cloak and an inclination to his watercraft. “I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?”

“Yes, actually!” I exclaimed. “May I climb aboard?”

“Hop right in. Tra-la-la. Where will we go today?”

“Snowdin, please,” I requested, climbing into the boat and trying hard not to rock it. “I’m staying the night with friends there.”

“Then we’re off…”

The boat began to glide smoothly through the water into a dimly lit tunnel. I opted to sit down, even though the ride never threatened to jolt. The wind howled through the cavern, blowing my hair back and cooling my hot face. The River Person sang lowly, incorporating many tunes from the soundtrack in a medley all his own.

Suddenly he stopped himself and turning to me mentioned, “Hmmm… I should have worn a few more pairs of pants today.”

“Okay,” I laughed, quirking an eyebrow. “Why?”

“It really doesn’t matter.” With that, the River Person turned back to the bow and continued to sing. The air, which had turned balmy as we passed through Waterfall, turned increasingly colder as we neared Waterfall. I began to shiver as we pulled out of the tunnel and passed by Snowdin Town. Without so much as a bump, we slid to a stop.

With some final words of farewell, I disembarked and headed toward the skeleton house. Then made an abrupt about-face and walked rapidly in the other direction to Save, deciding that it was better now than later. A simple slide through the igloo and I was there. Papyrus was waiting outside and his sockets lit up to see me. “OH GOOD! YOU’VE ARRIVED!!!” he cried joyously as I approached, hands clutched around my arms for warmth. The sweat I had achieved in Hotland had become painfully cold as I entered Snowdin. “I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN LOST!”

“Nope! Here I am,” I answered, teeth chattering. Like Sans had said before, it was darker in Snowdin now that it was ‘night’.

“OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT A TERRIBLE HOST I’M BEING! HUMAN, YOU MUST BE FROZEN STIFF! WHY DON’T YOU COME IN?”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully, following the taller skeleton indoors.

“NOW,” said Papyrus as he stood at attention by the stairs, “PLANS FOR THE EVENING: IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF PAJAMAS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MANY FASHIONABLE CHOICES TO OFFER FOR THE DURATION OF YOUR STAY! I WOULD HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU TAKE A NICE HOT SHOWER BEFORE BEDDING FOR THE NIGHT. I HAVE HEARD THAT IT MELLOWS THE MIND AND GETS IT READY FOR SLUMBER.”

“actually,” mentioned Sans, who was standing on the upstairs balcony, swinging a slippered foot, “i heard it was better to have showers in the morning. gets you ready for the day or something like that.”

“PREPOSTEROUS!!!” shouted Papyrus, making me wonder if they got many noise complaints from their neighbors. “UNWINDING AFTER A LONG DAY’S WORK VIA SHOWER IS THE MOST RELAXING METHOD IN THE BOOK!!! WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO UNWIND IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING YET???”

“well.. maybe if you’ve had a hard day’s night?” Sans suggested.

Papyrus struck a considering pose. “HMM… THAT MAY BE TRUE. HUMAN!!! WHICH DO YOU PREFER???”

“Uh…” I hated when they sprung these things on me, especially when it was between the two brothers. I felt like I was being forced to choose between the two of them. “Why not… both?”

“BOTH?” Papyrus looked quite taken aback. “BOTH?? BOTH??????? WHAT A MARVOULOUS SUGGESTION!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!! OF COURSE! WHY HAVEN’T I THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE? YOU SHALL BATHE AT NIGHT AND SHOWER AGAIN IN THE MORNING, REFRESHING YOURSELF DOUBLY FOR THE DAY AHEAD!!! VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT, HUMAN! I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU!”

“Uh… you’re welcome?” I answered, feeling very confused.

“NOW, TO CHOOSE PJ’S!!!” With another laugh of triumph, Papyrus stampeded to his bedroom, fully expecting me to follow, which I did at a more leisurely pace.

“Do you guys even have a shower?” I asked Sans as I cleared the top step.

“’course we do. downstairs under the landing, through the kitchen. didn’t you see it before?”

I peeked my head over the railing. I didn’t see anything, but then again, I couldn’t see inside the kitchen from here. “I guess I’ll have to take your word for it,” I said, shrugging and joining Papyrus.

My skeletal friend had taken the liberty of choosing three outfits in my absence, which would probably be best described as ‘the purple pajamas’, ‘the comfy pajamas’, and ‘the fashionable pajamas’. The last ones came complete with a feather boa. I went with the comfy ones. Sleeveless top with long pants that covered my feet when unrolled. Both were soft and wooly. Very comfortable.

I took the outfit downstairs and found the bathroom in a secret door off the kitchen underneath the stairs. Like in Toriel’s bathroom, there was no toilet. Just a large shower with a bathtub adjoined. I stripped down, removing my clothes and the tutu… oh, wait, the tutu! I was still wearing that??? I had waltzed right into Sans and Papyrus’s house wearing the tutu I had claimed not to be wearing! Drat.

I took advantage a scant amount out of the many MTT products in there and had a very nice shower. Papyrus had an embarrassing amount of hair and skin products for a guy who had neither, but hey, I wasn’t going to complain. I also took advantage of the time to analyze my entire body free of clothes to see if there had been any distinguishable difference since I had entered the game. After all, didn’t need glasses anymore, so it was possible some other things had changed. I hadn’t had a full minute to do something like this, so I took advantage of the opportunity.

After a thorough analysis, I concluded that I was – in fact – the same, but a much healthier version of myself. Whatever grid of the matrix I had passed through had managed to heal all existing scars, acne, and unwanted nose dribbles that I had possessed in my previous world. Even if my skin was still a little rough in places and there were still plenty of spots, hair, and/or freckles that I would rather have had removed, not to mention the annoying gap between my front teeth, I felt like a more polished version of myself. Not perfect – for that I’d need a total redo – but definitely better than I had been a few days before.

My inspection complete and with all the grime of my adventures washed away and I felt pleasantly calm as I exited the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me my HP goes up after I shower?” I demanded sleepily as Papyrus put the finishing touches to the nest of pillows and blankets on the couch. Most of which I would probably kick off by morning, I supposed.

“DID YOU NOT KNOW? OH WELL THEN, I SUPPOSE I’LL TELL YOU. YOUR HP GOES UP AFTER YOU SHOWER! NYEH HEH HEH!”

I sniggered. My sense of humor had devolved because of my sleepiness. I was looking forward to cuddling down for the night. I told Papyrus so, flopping down on the couch and nestling under the blankets, somehow coming up with a handful of G when I put my hand under one of the cushions. “Ooh, by the way, I found this. Do you want it back?” I offered.

“FINDERS KEEPERS! GO AHEAD AND TAKE IT,” Papyrus said, tucking me in like a dumpling.

“Thanks, Pap’rus,” I murmured, letting my eyelids drift shut.

“IT’S RATHER ODD THAT YOU KEEP CALLING ME THAT,” I heard Papyrus muse from behind my eyelids. “PAP’RUS… NOT PAPYRUS… NOT EVEN ‘THE GREAT PAPYRUS’.”

I winced. “Sorry. I’ll stop if you want.”

“PISH-TUSH, HUMAN! FRIENDS GIVE EACHOTHER NICKNAMES, DO THEY NOT? SO, THIS SHALL BE YOUR NICKNAME FOR ME! PAP’RUS… I QUITE LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT!”

I laughed. “I’m glad you like it.”

“hey, bro?” I heard Sans call from upstairs. “you ready for that bedtime story yet? i might fall asleep if you don’t hurry up.”

“DON’T YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP, SANS!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL DAY!” Papyrus gave me a hasty pat on the head and a hurried, “GOODNIGHT, HUMAN!” before running upstairs. “HERE I AM, BROTHER!!! YOU MAY BEGIN MOMENTARILY!!!” The door to his bedroom slammed and I was left in darkness and silence.

“Petted me,” I quoted drowsily to an empty room, rolling over onto my stomach and getting one arm beneath the pillows.

Normally, I would use this time before sleeping to rearrange my thoughts. Get a grasp on what had happened that day, or what I wanted to do tomorrow, or just make up a story to pass the time. But I was so brain-numbingly tired that all the thoughts in my head turned fuzzy. I could hardly remember my own NAME let alone anything that had happened that day. So I simply closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift away into a pool of darkness. Deeper… and deeper…

I woke suddenly, not really sure what had roused me. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like there was something I was missing. Fragments of a dream. Something about a hard-won battle. Blue light. A body dissolving. A feeling of absolute triumph. The thought, ‘it’s finally over’. Even though all these feelings seemed like they should have a good connotation, my inner brain revolted at the attempt to gather more information. Was it the dream that had roused me? Or was it something el—

Thump.

I glanced over toward the kitchen, suddenly becoming fully aware of where I was. I had – as I anticipated – lost several brave pillows to the mercy of the floor, but at least my blankets were still intact. The thump I had heard had come from the direction of the fridge. Further inspection showed that it was open, spilling blue light over suspect number one: a short skeleton who was apparently searching for a midnight snack. As I watched, Sans grabbed a bag of chips and shut the fridge again, heading back toward the stairs.

“Hey,” I whispered.

Sans stopped when he saw I was awake. “heya,” he greeted. The skeleton was dressed in his bedtime attire, which basically consisted of his normal outfit minus the jacket. This made him look even smaller than usual, having lost a bit of his rotundity without the puffiness of his coat, although he still looked like he didn’t have much neck. He gestured back toward the kitchen. “played chicken and got peckish. can’t sleep?”

“I just woke up again.”

“didn’t mean to wake you. here. i’ll split the spoils and we’ll call it even, yeah?” He opened the bag and offered me a chip.

I shrugged. “Sure.” It took a little struggling, but I unearthed a hand and took the offered chip, munching on it solemnly. “I just wanted to say… thank you,” I told him. “For letting me stay here tonight. Pap’rus kind of invited me without asking you and it’s your house too, so just… thank you for putting up with me.”

“heh. no problem, kiddo.”

“I’m pretty much a total stranger to you.”

“well, my bro really needed a friend. you gave him that. in my ranking i’d say you’re doing pretty good.” He popped a chip toward his mouth. It disappeared with a crunch, but I didn’t see his teeth open, I observed with a grin. Also… he wasn’t wearing his mittens. I could see his fingers for the first time. They were short, thick, stubby little things. Like little bony sausages. A far cry from Papyrus’s long phalanges.

“Even so, it means a lot to me. Especially from you.”

Sans huffed a laugh. “what am i – a hard fish to catch or something?”

“No, but…”

I had been debating if I should do this. Not even seriously considering it. But now my sleepy brain had granted me ‘why not’ mentality and I plowed ahead, not thinking of any consequences. It was Sans, after all. What was he gonna do? Dunk me right here? No, not in his house. Not when his brother was home.

“I know… you know things,” I said slowly. “Things about me. Kind of partially guessed things, I guess. You know about my powers.”

Sans looked unconcerned as he popped another chip. “are they the powers of confusion? ‘cause you’ve kinda lost me here, bud.”

“Time looping.”

Sans stopped dead.

“Stopping and starting. Doubling back on itself. You saw in your research.”

There was very little light in the room, but there was just enough to catch on the sharp outline of Sans’s eyesockets and on the curve of his teeth. “how do you know about that, kiddo?” He no longer sounded lighthearted. His voice had dropped an octave.

“I didn’t come from this world,” I explained. “Not originally.”

Why did my words flow more easily when I was sleep deprived? Was it because I didn’t care as much? Or did half-sleep unlock something deep inside? Either way, I found it easy to tell Sans where I came from – a world without monsters. A world that had a game in it called Undertale, and how by some strange twist of fate I had been dumped here in this world to manipulate the strings of time and get to the end.

“everything’s the same?” Sans’s face was turned aside. He had sat down on the foot of my bed when I started talking – practically on my feet – and I couldn’t see his expression.

“Well, not everything. This never happened in the game – I don’t think there was any kind of intermission.” I flopped the covers about to make a point. “But… yeah, I pretty much know how the game ends. Or how I want it to end. There are a bunch of different endings depending on what you do… but I’m headed for the best one!” I hastened to reassure him. “The route where you don’t hurt anyone – the pacifist route – it has the best ending. I can help everyone here.”

“and then what?” Sans turned to face me again and his eyes were somber. I couldn’t tell if they were narrowed or simply sad. “you’re just going to start from the beginning again?”

“No.” I said this with a firm decisiveness born of steadfast resolve. “I’m not going to reset. I’ll uninstall the game if I have to, let you all live out the rest of your lives. After I get out of here, I’ll… I’ll just put it aside. You’ll never hear from me again. No more game playing.”

Of Undertale, I amended silently. I would probably play other games again, just not Undertale.

“I didn’t expect this to happen,” I added when Sans still didn’t look up. “Who would? I… never expected for this place to be an entire world.”

“one more question, kiddo.” Sans was looking down again, eyes closed. When he opened them again, his pupils had disappeared and the room seemed several degrees cooler. I could only see his smile, like a Cheshire cat’s half-moon grin, holding not an ounce of pleasure. “how many times have we gone through this before?”

“Never!” I squeaked. “I mean, do you mean this conversation or this whole game? Because I played once before and then I reset, which ended me up here, but I’ve only been here for one run. And that’s all I’m planning to do, anyway. I’ve died a couple times and experimented with reloads, but… I don’t wanna reset. I’ve done too much. And it’d just be wrong anyway.”

Sans’s pupils slowly faded back in and he stared off into the distance. I became acutely aware of his weight sitting squarely on my legs. It was becoming uncomfortable, as was the stillness. I could barely hear, as if in the background of my mind, the song ‘It’s Raining Somewhere’ (I was pretty sure that was the name).

“why did you… ‘reset’… the first time?” Sans used the word ‘reset’ shakily. As well he might, I thought. He had only heard me use it just now.

“I wanted to play the game again,” I answered, still shying away from full disclosure of what I had been planning to do.

“you didn’t think about what it would do to us? what we’d have to live through again?”

I didn’t like his tone. Even if it was a concealing calm, I heard the accusing words. “I didn’t think it was real!” I exclaimed, my voice rising although I tried to keep it low in volume. “How—why would I think that a videogame would be real? That resetting would cause you to live the same time over again? Do you pick up a book you love and feel any sort of qualms about flipping back to the first page to read it over again? Even if there were some fourth wall breaks in the game, I always thought it was a clever ploy on the part of the developer! Lots of games do that just to make it feel immersive. I didn’t think it’d be this immersive. Would you have played a game and thought that there was a world inside?” I pressed.

Sans seemed to consider this. He glanced over at me, then down to the chip bag, hanging forgotten in his hands. “no. no, i guess not,” he answered at last, and then relapsed into his shady silence.

“Any more questions?” I asked tentatively.

Sans started as if he had been falling asleep, or had forgotten I was there. “nah,” he answered, getting up off his seat. I wiggled my toes experimentally. “i’ve had enough info for tonight. any more and my skull ‘ll explode. pretty heavy stuff to lay on a guy at three in the morning.”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “Do you wish I hadn’t told you?”

Sans stopped mid stride. “honestly, kiddo? i don’t know. ask me tomorrow. then maybe i’ll have an answer.” He waved the chip bag in my direction. “sweet dreams, bucko.”

“G’night,” I whisper-called after him. After he had disappeared back up to his room, I cringed, flipping over and burying my face in the couch cushion. Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Why didn’t I ask him first instead of laying heaps of knowledge on his unsuspecting mind? Some people might not WANT to know that their life exists inside of a videogame from another universe!

Well, I could undo it, a sneaky part of my brain suggested. I could just reload, and…

And how would that help anything? Besides, my Save Point was before the whole evening began. Sans might be considered the ‘lazy one’, but I was lazy enough to not want to go through this night all over again. And even though I suspected Sans didn’t remember each run, how did I know for certain? Plenty of fanfictions out there portrayed him with memory from former resets.

I shouldn’t have told him, I concluded miserably. I continued to internally kick myself until I drifted back to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

I awoke to the shifting of curtains above my head and the shine of light piercing the darkness behind my eyelids. In an attempt to at least act like I was still asleep I kept my eyes closed, but a padded hand shaking my shoulder stopped any further attempts on that point.

“HUMAN,” Papyrus ‘whispered’, “IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP. YOU HAVE A LONG DAY IN FRONT OF YOU.”

I let out a low moan as I opened my eyes, flipping over onto my back and extracting a hand to rub at my eyes. Papyrus leaned over me, grinning toothily. “GOOD MORNING, HUMAN!” he exclaimed when he saw my eyes open.

“Good morning, Pap’rus,” I greeted, flopping my hand down above my head and stretching my legs under the covers. “How are you doin’?”

“DOING AMAZING, AS ALWAYS!” Papyrus reared back and posed. He was already in his battle body and smelled like clean bones and MTT brand moisturizer. He had probably been up for a while. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ALWAYS DOING MY VERY BEST!!!”

“What time is it?” I asked, groping for my phone and accidentally toggling my stats and inventory first, respectively.

“WHY, IT IS EIGHT O’ CLOCK IN THE MORNING! A RESPECTABLE HOUR TO BE UP AND ABOUT, PREPARING BREAKFAST AND NOT BEING A LAZYBONES!!!” This last remark, although not seemingly pointed at Sans, sounded like it could be if his brother did not choose to make an appearance. “WHY DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR MORNING SHOWER AND GET DRESSED FOR THE DAY? I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU ON YOUR RETURN!”

“Sounds good to me,” I said and waited for him to move away before unearthing myself. I wasn’t sure why, but I could never get up from bed while someone was watching me. What if my pants had ridden up during the night? What if I needed to make some uncomfortable adjustments? It was just one of those things.

My clothes were in a clean, folded pile in the bathroom and I put them on, (yes, even the tutu, drat the thing) musing over the fact that I would be traveling through Hotland wearing a sweater. But I did have a camisole on under that, so hopefully monsters wouldn’t be too stunned if I got hot and needed to take off my warmer clothing. Or else I might just pull an Undyne and flop by the side of the road.

Speaking of which, I probably needed to talk to Papyrus about doing that Undyne hangout thing. He hadn’t mentioned it last night – probably didn’t want to press me into anything – so I would need to bring it up once I left the bathroom. Which I did a moment later, after a relatively quick shower (in my book there was no such thing as a truly quick shower. Showers were things to be enjoyed!) and a rinse with a bit of MTT brand facial cleanser.

The kitchen had transformed with the addition of a table and a trio of chairs, making a nice little dining area. Sans’s theme music thumped along cheerfully overhead, starting as soon as I left the bathroom.

“HERE YOU ARE!!!” Papyrus exclaimed joyfully as I made an appearance. He had donned a chef’s hat and oven mitts and held several spoons in his left hand. “I WAS JUST MAKING READY TO PREPARE BREAKFAST!”

Oh no. This was a problem I hadn’t thought of. Even though I WAS hungry and skipping breakfast was a very bad idea for my metabolism, the lucid memory of my last experience with Papyrus’s cooking came vividly to mind. Could he cook anything other than spaghetti? Probably not. Nope, no, it was spaghetti for breakfast for sure.

Even though I was one-hundred percent sure of the answer, I swallowed down my unease and slapped on a hopeful expression. “Oh? What’s on the menu?”

“GRAND CHEF PAPYRUS HAS PREPARED A SPECIALTY FOR THIS MORNING’S FAST BREAKING,” declared my pompous friend, brandishing the array of spoons in a way that suggested he was baron of the kitchen posing for an oil portrait. “ONE OF MY SPECIAL FAVORITES, THE LIKES OF WHICH MERE MORTALS CAN ONLY DREAM OF TASTING ONCE IN A LIFETIME!!! MY CULINARY MASTERPIECE, THE DREAM OF THE GODS, DELIGHT OF MONSTERS AND HUMANS ALIKE (AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE), THE DELICIOUS, NUTRICIOUS…”

“quiches.” Sans nudged me with an elbow as he passed, grinning widely (as usual) and plopping a parcel down on the table. He was back in his hoodie and slippers and he looked none the worse for last night’s midnight chat.

“QUICHES!!! …WAIT, WHAT???” Papyrus stopped in amusing perplexity. “SANS, THAT ISN’T WHAT I HAD IN STORE FOR THIS MORNING!!!”

“well, i thought you had enough on your mind hosting… i might as well pitch in a bit.” Sans nodded to the table. “bam. breakfast.”

“SANS!!! THIS IS…” Papyrus stopped to ponder this. “…UNEXPECTEDLY CONSIDERATE OF YOU! WHERE DID YOU GET THESE!?”

“went out for a walk this morning and one of the townsfolk handed it over. said they had a few too many and to go ahead and give it off to somebody else. you know… so it’d be the ‘gift that quiche on giving’?”

The rimshot was overshadowed by Papyrus’s shout of annoyance. I merely rolled my eyes and sniggered, used to it by now. Sans shrugged, relaxing from his stance with arms uplifted for praise to one with his hands put back in their respective pockets. “hmm, maybe i should ‘quiche’ the worse ones to myself. coffee?”

“PERKILATING IN THE COFFEE POT,” Papyrus responded with a disappointed glare in his brother’s direction as he swept forward to unpack and inspect the offering.

“thanks. coffee, kiddo?”

“Uh… sure! Why not?” I preferred tea, but I wouldn’t turn down a cup of coffee on a whim like this. I wandered over to join Sans by the coffee pot.

“cream? sugar? both? or neither?”

“Both, please.”

“ok, pussycat.” He nudged the cream and sugar in my direction, pouring himself a cup of straight black and taking a sip. I meowed, shooting him an irritated look followed by a grin. He only chuckled, leaning against the counter. I ladled a few spoonfuls of sugar into my cup, followed by a generous portion of cream. Just the way I liked it.

“hey, the quiches are for you, by the way,” Sans said, leaning over and talking softly so Papyrus couldn’t hear. “as a thank you, of sorts. for last night?” he added, seeing my questioning stare.

“You’re thanking me for last night?” I repeated, just to make sure I had heard him right.

“sure. even if the info drop was kinda sudden, it’s good to know just what’s going on and, um, what you have to do with it. so… i’d rather know than not know. hence the thanks.”

I huffed a small laugh, lowering my tone to match his and joining him leaning against the counter, pressing the coffee cup to my chin to absorb the warmth and blow on the rising steam. It was nice not to be wearing glasses. Normally this maneuver would steam them up something fierce. “I thought for sure you were going to hate me this morning. Like, I regretted it immediately after I told you – it was a LOT to dump on you without warning.”

“it was,” Sans agreed. “but just the fact that you were willing to tell me meant a lot. plus, by the looks of things, you could have done a lot worse by this point. so, uh… just keep doing what you’re doing, i guess.”

I nodded, a little surprised by his response. “I guess I will.”

“WELL,” Papyrus said at last, finishing his final inspection of the quiches. “IT SEEMS THAT THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL THE MATTER WITH THESE! AT LEAST BY APPEARENCES…” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “BUT AT LEAST IF ONE OF US DIES MYSTERIOUSLY BY POISIONING WE KNOW WHO THE SUSPECTS COULD BE!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! COME, BE SEATED, HUMAN!”

For those who are wondering, the quiches were pretty good. And yes, Sans did drown his in ketchup, adding even more each time Papyrus hollered at him to stop. I didn’t have any brothers, personally, but it totally seemed like something my sisters would do. A sibling thing for sure.

“So, I was thinking about doing that befriending Undyne thing today,” I said nonchalantly, taking another sip of coffee and wincing at the realization of how NOT nonchalant it sounded. (Chalant????)

“WONDERFUL!!!” exclaimed Papyrus, scraping another bite off his fork with his teeth and chewing enthusiastically. He made no swallowing motion. I wondered if he absorbed it in his mouth. “A FRESH START IS BEST DONE IN THE MORNING. HMM… I WONDER WHO THAT WAS FIRST QUOTED BY…”

“you, bro.” Sans held up his loaded fork to his mouth, dripping red with ketchup, and munched solemnly without opening his mouth.

“OH, THAT’S RIGHT! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

“I was thinking about taking the ferry,” I added. “You know. The riverboat?”

“A VERY WISE PLAN! THE RIVER IS THE FASTEST WAY TO GET ANYWHERE IN THE UNDERGROUND!!! IN FACT, I MIGHT AS WELL ACCOMPANY YOU, SINCE I’M GOING THE SAME WAY!”

“I would like that,” I nodded.

“SO IT’S SETTLED!!!” Papyrus jumped up from his seat and whisked his dish off the table, holding his hands out for mine and Sans’s. “BY THE TIME WE’RE THROUGH WITH HER, UNDYNE WON’T KNOW WHAT HIT HER!!! SHE WILL BE SO DEEPLY IN FRIENDSHIP… EW, SANS!!! YOU HAD KETCHUP AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR PLATE, HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT?!?”

“sorry, bro. i guess i just didn’t ‘ketchup’ with it!” Sans winked. Papyrus made a disgusted noise and turned away.

“I’m pretty sure you ‘relished’ that pun,” I murmured as soon as Papyrus had turned on the absurdly tall sink, reaching high above his head to clean the dishes. Condiment puns – they were my greatest weakness.

“I HEARD THAT!!!” Papyrus bellowed, refusing to turn around. I started guiltily. “SANS! YOU’VE CORRUPTED THE HUMAN WITH YOUR INEXCUSABLY BAD PUNS!!!”

“oh, i dunno,” Sans said, eyelights shining mirthfully. “i think she ‘mustard’ up a good one.”

“SANS!!!!!!!”

“You ‘mayo’ may not have gone too far with that one,” I added.

Sans flat out laughed at that one. “duck,” he said.

“What?”

Papyrus hit me in the face with a dish rag. I nearly fell off my chair. Sans leaned back in his, laughing with a hand pressed up to his face as I yelled at his brother, a smile shining on my face. I got up to return the towel, but Papyrus only shook his head in exasperation, handing me the dishes he just washed and walked toward the door. “MIGHT AS WELL DRY THESE OFF. THEN AT LEAST YOU CAN SAY YOU DISHED UP SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES ATROCIOUS PUNS!!!”

“ayyyy,” Sans made finger-guns at his brother as he passed, chair tipped back so only two legs rested on the floor. Papyrus only sighed, bumping his brother’s chair back onto four legs as he passed.

“ANYWAYS, HUMAN, I WILL MEET YOU OUTSIDE WHEN YOU ARE READY! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MORNING OF DIE-HARD FRIENDSHIP!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!” Papyrus sprinted out into the snow, the door slamming loudly behind him.

“Dishes dried,” I said, putting down the towel.

“then ‘dishes’ where we part,” Sans grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “See you later?”

“you would know.”

I rethought that. “Yeah. See you later.”

“sure thing, kiddo.”

“Bye.” With a final wave, I left to follow Papyrus.

We took the ferry to Waterfall. Papyrus chatted sociably with the riverperson, who interjected a question about what games you could play with dogs partway through, which launched my bony friend on a tirade. I learned a few reasons why Papyrus hated the Annoying Dog – stolen lasagna only one of the many reasons. Did… was that a Garfield reference? Really, Toby???

Papyrus swiftly rebounded to his previous happy mood as we disembarked. He ran ahead to Undyne’s house and I followed at a more leisurely pace, saving as the dark, foreboding house loomed into view. Even though it bore an aspect of intense severity, the windows glowing like eyes and the fishlike form of the house glowering unpleasantly, Papyrus didn’t seem to mind. He stood beside the house as comfortably as if it had been made of candy instead of judgmental fish vibes. Inside issued the sound of someone pounding on a piano with more enthusiasm than skill. The Mad Dummy scowled at me from the ‘training’ corner of the yard. I bit my lip.

“STAND BEHIND ME,” Papyrus ordered.

“Okay,” I whispered, wishing Papyrus had something a little looser around his spine to provide a more decent cover.

“PSST,” he added in an afterthought, holding up a bone wrapped in golden paper and ornamented with a bow. “MAKE SURE TO GIVE HER THIS! SHE LOVES THESE!”

With that he tucked it away and knocked on the door.

“Should I be doing anything?” I hissed.

“JUST BE YOUR OWN PLEASANT, NATURAL SELF,” encouraged my friend. But then the door (looking more than ever like the jaws of a hungry fish) opened up and I ducked, trying to avoid being seen until the proper time. MAN, I wished Papyrus was a little broader around the waist right about now!

“Hi, Papyrus!” greeted Undyne, sounding much more pleasant and less shouty than on our last encounter. “Ready for your extra-private one-on-one training?”

“YOU BET I AM!” exclaimed Papyrus. “AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!”

Doesn’t that kind of discount the term ‘extra-private one-on-one’? I wondered. But before I could continue this train of thought, Papyrus moved aside and my cover was broken. Luckily, Undyne must have been pondering the same question I was because she was still looking bemused, responding automatically, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve…”

And then her eyes focused on me. Her eyelids narrowed over her slitted pupils and her fists clenched. Even out of her armor in more casual attire, she still looked menacing.

“I believe we have,” I answered, probably tactlessly. I could see Undyne’s mind racing. Her eyes flicked from me to Papyrus and back to me again. I peeked at Papyrus. He was grinning as if his life depended on it, standing rigidly to attention as if Undyne’s sensory input was motion based.

“Why don’t. You two. Come in?” Undyne gritted between clenched teeth, looking as if she would rather murder us on the doorstep than let such a polite invitation sully her lips. She turned around stiffly and marched indoors. Papyrus followed suit, looking tremendously excited, spinning around to give me a quick thumbs-up before following his friend. Feeling like I was being swallowed, I entered Undyne’s dwelling.

The inside of Undyne’s house was much nicer looking than the outside. It was much brighter, the walls painted with cheerful wallpaper and blue-and-yellow tiles checkered the floor. It was small – perfect for one person living alone – and were it not from the icy atmosphere stemming from its owner I would say it was a quaint little house. Homey.

“HERE, UNDYNE.” Papyrus stepped forward, present in hand. He still looked like he was trying to be desperately cheerful. “MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU ON THEIR OWN!”

“Uhhh… thanks.” Undyne took the bone and mumbled something about putting it with the others, clearly not knowing what to do about the whole human-in-the-house situation. She put the bone in a drawer while I shifted foot to foot, feeling a bit awkward and wishing Papyrus had let me in on the plan a little bit BEFORE dumping me into this mess. Of course I knew what was going to happen beforehand, but having a bit of forewarning – a planning session, even – wouldn’t have been amiss.

Obviously attempting to remain collected despite the strange situation, Undyne clapped her hands together. “So are we ready to start?”

Papyrus squirmed. “WHOOPSY DOOPSY!” he cried. “I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!!!”

And with that he launched himself at a nearby window, flying out into the yard with a practiced flip and only stumbling a little during the landing. In a second he was out of sight.

My best friend had come out from Texas for my graduation party. There were a lot of people filing into our house – more than I had ever seen in our house EVER – and I, as host, was running around greeting everybody. But I didn’t want my bestie to feel abandoned, so every other friend who I greeted I introduced to Sarah before whizzing off to shake more hands, gather congratulations, and collect presents, not realizing the awkwardness of a situation I had left behind me with two people who had never met before in their lives shoved together and told to have a good time. Sarah my dear friend, I now know how you feel. Please accept my deepest apologies.

Undyne’s eyes narrowed. I could see she was weighing the pros and cons of why not to murder me on the spot.

“So why are YOU here?” she demanded at last. “To rub your victory in my face?”

“No!” I responded.

“To humiliate me even further?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why are you here?” Undyne’s gaze kept darting to the window as if she was expecting Papyrus to pop in again at any moment and tell her to play nice. Then a satirical grin spread across her face and she leered. “Wait, I get it. You think that I’m gonna be friends with you, huh? RIGHT?”

“Well, I was hoping…” I admitted tentatively.

“Really? How delightful!! I accept!” Undyne bellowed, voice thick with sarcasm. “Let’s all frolic in the fields of friendship! …Not! Why would I EVER be friends with YOU!?”

She took a brutal step forward. I tried to interject, to plead (or argue) with her to just give me a chance, but she talked right over me. “If you weren’t my houseguest, I’d beat you up right now! You’re the enemy of everyone’s hopes and dreams! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND.” With this final sentence, she pointed irately at the door. “Now get out of my house!”

It’s hard to argue with an angry fish. Especially when that angry fish has already killed you several times and the only thing still ensuring your safety is what remains of her good graces. Thankfully, a rustle was heard by the window and Papyrus peeped in, disappointment plain on his face.

“DANG!” he exclaimed. “WHAT A SHAME… I THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BUT I GUESS… I OVERESTIMATED HER.” And here his expression turned crafty, “SHE’S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE.”

People don’t give Papyrus enough credit, you know? One minute I’m about to be thrown out of a house for breathing, next minute he’s defused the situation with the clever use of reverse psychology and left my angry opponent gawping like a… well, like a fish.

Papyrus, you lovable token of the gods, I bless the moment you were created.

“CHALLENGE!? What!? Papyrus, wait a second!”

I swear Papyrus winked at me before he disappeared again. Undyne’s face, when she turned back to me, held a new resolve – one that didn’t thirst for my elimination. “He thinks I can’t be friends with YOU!?” she demanded.

“Well,” I shrugged indecisively.

Undyne laughed, appraising me from tip to toe. “Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you anyday!”

“You are welcome to try,” I told her.

Undyne’s eyes narrowed with cunning and her smile stretched a bit wider. For a moment she reminded me of a shark. “I’ll show him,” she muttered. “Listen up, human. We’re not just going to be friends. We’re going to be… BESTIES. I’ll make you like me so much you won’t be able to think of anyone else!!! Fuhuhu! It’s the perfect revenge!!

I could only nod. “Like I said, you can try.”

Undyne appraised me again before waving a hand genteelly at the table. “Why don’t you have a seat?” she offered.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19

And so I found myself being competitively befriended by Undyne. A grin was stretched across her face so that her eyes were practically swamped by her cheeks. Every word was imbued with the thickest pleasure, like it was a true delight to have me – a marvelously scrumptious personage – in her humble abode. If she had tried any harder, she would have been spitting out rainbows.

She laid out several options of drinks, but the slightest movement of my person sent a magical spear shooting out, cracking the table before me. It would have crushed my knees if I had been sitting any closer. “Hey!!! Don’t get up!!!” she exclaimed, mouth still curved in that semi-maniacal grin. “You’re the guest!! Sit down and enjoy yourself!!!”

“Okay,” I squeaked, folding my hands and pressing my back into my chair.

Undyne seemed to get a grip on herself because she looked slightly abashed as she suggested that I use the spear to point to what I wanted. I tentatively picked up the spear. It was almost electrical to the touch, positively vibrating with energy, somewhere between warm and cool. I had a chance to examine its heft and balance now that I wasn’t using it to save my own life.

I went with tea – it was the obvious correct option – and Undyne started the water boiling. “You have a nice place,” I told her, just so the silence didn’t get overwhelming. The music had stopped when she threw the spear.

“Thanks,” said Undyne, looking surprised. “It’s been in the family. My dad and I lived here together. Now that he’s gone, it’s mine now.”

“Wow,” I said. I wondered if the whole ‘dad’ thing had been canonical and I could find it somewhere in the game. I hadn’t heard about it before. “I’m… sorry to hear about your dad.”

“Don’t be.” Undyne leaned against the stove. “He was a bit of a jerk, if I’m honest. But he made me who I am. I wouldn’t be half as tough if he didn’t push me like he did! He always wanted a boy, but guess what? He got a tough as nails woman on his hands! So now the entire underground has to deal with it!”

“Good for them!” I laughed. It didn’t make much sense, but whatever. I matched her passion, and that’s what counted.

The kettle let out a whooping noise as the water came to a boil and Undyne poured it into a cup. “Here we are,” she said, putting a lump of sugar in the tea and setting it before me. She sat on the opposite side of the table, mentioning, “Careful, it’s hot.”

I blew on the tea, inhaling its sweet fumes and swirling the liquid, allowing the sugar to melt. Normally the steam would fog up my glasses. I was continually surprised how liberating it was to have eyes that perpetually worked.

“It’s not THAT hot!! Just drink it already!” Undyne encouraged after she deemed I had taken too long.

I took a sip. It burned my tongue. Almost every hot drink burns my tongue, though, so that wasn’t much to go by. I took another sip. I wasn’t much for herbal tea – black teas or chai were my absolute favorites – but I had to agree with the flavor text and could answer truthfully when Undyne asked: it was pretty good!

Then Undyne started talking about the tea, and how it was Asgore’s favorite kind, and how she had been trained by the king ever since she had challenged him to a dual and been majorly thrashed. I was quiet as she talked, sipping my tea, and interjecting with a laugh at the proper moment, or a considering look. As Undyne went on, the forced friendliness faded away and suddenly we weren’t enemies anymore. Just two girls enjoying the morning together over a cup of tea.

“—So I’m the one gets to train dorks to fight!” Undyne ended. “Like, uh, Papyrus. But, um, to be honest… I don’t know if I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard.”

“Why not?” I asked, even though I knew the reason perfectly well. Also, desperately hoping he wasn’t loitering around the windowsill and accidentally hearing this. “He’s so enthusiastic! And determined, and…”

“And way too innocent and nice!” finished Undyne, thumping her fist down on the broken table. “Don’t you see? It’s not that he’s weak. He’s actually pretty freaking tough! But… I mean, look, he was supposed to capture you, and he ended up being friends with you instead! I could NEVER send him into battle! He’d get ripped into little smiling shreds.”

She didn’t look happy as she made this declaration. She looked as if it broke her heart.

“That’s part of why…” Undyne added, a little of her original gusto returning, “I started teaching him how to cook, you know?”

“You taught him that?” I asked, just to keep the conversation going.

“Heck yeah, I did! So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life.”

“He’s strong,” I told her. “I’m sure he’ll bounce back. He’s resilient like that.”

Undyne didn’t say anything. She simply stared down at her clasped hands on the tabletop. Then she looked up suddenly. “Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long… you’re out of tea, aren’t you?”

I was. I hadn’t realized it, but all that remained were the dregs in the cup and a scorched tongue in my mouth. “Oh! Uh… I guess so,” I said. Undyne reached for the cup.

“I’ll get you some more.”

But halfway to the sink, she paused, suddenly tense. “Wait a second. Papyrus. His cooking lesson. He was supposed to have that right now!!! And if he’s not here to have it…” Undyne threw a pointed finger in my direction, roaring at the top of her lungs, “You’ll have to have it for him!!!”

I probably said something along the lines of, “Uhhhhhh….” Or something intelligent like that as Undyne’s theme kicked in full notch. But before I could follow it up with something a little more cohesive, Undyne leaped onto the countertop, kicking everything off onto the floor and throwing my forgotten mug into the sink. She straightened, bellowing at my startled form, “That’s right!!! Nothing has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson… We’ll become closer than you can ever imagine!!!”

Hoo boy. She was back in friendmaking gear. “Is this really necessary?” I tried to ask, but she interrupted me with a hearty laugh.

“Afraid!?” she demanded. “We’re going to be best friends!!!”

I tried to discount this – about the being afraid, not the friends part – but she bounded toward me with a glint in her eye and I shrank backwards in my chair. She didn’t grab me by the hair like in the game, but she did snag me under the arms with one hand and launch me over the table with her so that I suddenly stood by the counter, feeling kinda dizzy and wondering if it was wise to run.

What happened next was a whirl of activity. Undyne told me to crush the vegetables into a sauce. I did my best as she shouted in one ear and her theme blared in the other. She did it better. I tried to – calmly – put noodles in a pot. I think a few got in? Maybe? If they were lucky? And then Undyne screamed to turn up the heat. I tried to argue, turning it up slowly, bit by bit. She shoved me out of the way and sooner than I care to explain there was a raging inferno beneath the pasta pot. I think there was an explosion or something, because next thing I knew there was fire. Everywhere. Not dangerously near me, but enough to make you think ‘hm, this is where fire should not be’.

“Ah.” Undyne said, seemingly taking a cue from my articulations from before. “Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking.”

I couldn’t think of a thing to say. I just kind of looked around nervously at the carnage. The room was starting to smell like smoke and burned food.

“So, what’s next?” Undyne asked, a desperate smile plastered to her face. “Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets?”

I sent a helpless look her way. I think she took the hint and her smile faded. “Oh, who am I kidding.” She looked utterly disappointed in herself. “I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”

“Hey,” I said, trying to make this scene a little lighter. I looked around desperately, hoping to find a shred of comfort. There was none. All interjection fell flat from my mouth. Any words of consolation like, ‘it’s not so bad!’ or ‘we can salvage from this!’ sounded like lies of the worst degree.

“I can’t force you to like me, human,” said Undyne, that defeated look still ripe on her face. “Some people just don’t get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me.”

“I don’t!” I exclaimed.

“And if we can’t be friends…” Undyne continued, steamrollering right over my protestations, a shine not unlike a Save Point beginning to glimmer in her one good eye, “that’s okay. Because, if we’re not friends… It means I can destroy you without regret!”

With no other warning, she launched us both into an Encounter. “I’ve been defeated… my house is in shambles… I even failed to befriend you,” she gritted, head bowed and a spear held between both hands. “That’s it. I don’t care if you’re my guest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides!!! It’s the only way I can regain my lost pride!!! Now come on! Hit me with all you’ve got!”

“Shouldn’t we be getting out of here?” I demanded over her battle cry. “There’s literal FIRE in here!”

“I’m not moving until you make the first move!” she insisted.

“Can’t we do this outside?”

“Come on! Show me what you’ve got!”

“What I’ve got?” I said, resigning myself to the mercy of the script. “Alright. Here I come.”

I put myself in a boxer’s position, feet spread wide apart, fists up. The ballet shoes appeared in my hand as my equipped weapon of choice. I swung them around my head. For the first time, the Fight meter went up. The harder I swung, the closer the needle fell to the middle. I swung, but fell back at the last second, giving her a glancing blow to the side. A bright flash filled the room. A red number stood before her ‘wound’.

-1.

“What.” Undyne’s tone was flat. She had stopped moving. The music had stopped pumping. All that could be heard was the crackle of the fire.

“You okay?” I asked, then realized that that was a fruitless question, because I had obviously cost her one HP.

“Seriously?” Undyne demanded. “That’s the best you can manage?”

“I don’t want to fight you!” I exclaimed. “I really, really don’t!”

“That’s obvious.” Undyne still seemed frozen in that position. “Even attacking at full force… you just can’t muster up any intent to hurt me, huh?” A considering look passed over her face. “Heh,” she snorted. “You know what?” And she straightened, the spear falling from her hands, disappearing before it hit the floor. “I don’t actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but… the way you hit me right now, it…” A reminiscent smile caressed her lips. “Reminded me of someone I used to train with.”

I smiled with her. Asgore. She was talking about Asgore.

“Now I know you’re not just some wimpy loser,” she said, making huge cheesy grin. “You’re a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him…” Her smile faded and she added, “Listen, human. It seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. But knowing him… he probably doesn’t want to. Talk to him. I’m sure you can persuade him to let you go home.”

“You think so?” I asked, even though my brain reminded me she was wrong.

“I’m sure of it. Eventually some mean human will fall down here… and I’ll take THEIR soul instead.” She said this with teeth clenched and I had no doubt she meant her word. “That makes sense, right?” she added with a chuckle. Her expression turned dour once again. “Oh, and if you DO hurt Asgore…” she took a threatening step forward. “I’ll take the human souls, cross the barrier, and beat the hell out of you! That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Uh…” I looked up at her wide smile. “Sure? I guess?” I choked on smoke. “Um, can we get out of here now?”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of this flaming house.”

Um… that was the censored version of what she said, anyway.

Undyne kicked down her own door to set us loose. I brushed myself down, my eyes watering from the smoke. Undyne surveyed the carnage. “Well, that was fun, huh?” she asked, looking far more pleased than a newly homeless person had any right to be. “We’ll have to hang out another time! But, uh, somewhere else, I guess. In the meantime, I guess I’ll go hang with Papyrus.”

“Good choice,” I seconded.

“So, if you need me,” she added, “drop by Snowdin, ok!?”

“Okay!” I tried to match her enthusiasm.

“Oh, and if you ever need help, just give Papyrus a ring, ok? Since we’re in the same spot, I’ll be able to talk too!”

“You can count on it!” I said, giving her a thumbs-up.

“Well, see you later, punk!!” she yelled, speeding off into the distance. I was left alone in the shadows of her burning house, smelling of smoke with tomato bits still in my hair. Lovely.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20

I took the ferry back to Hotland. Sooner rather than later I was standing on the doorstep of the Hotland Lab, sweltering in the sudden onslaught of heat. I ducked inside as quickly as I could.

It was dark inside. My eyes adjust quickly to the darkness (thank goodness) so it didn’t take me long to make out filmy silhouettes of the objects in the room, but they were all overshadowed by the monitor. It was truly enormous – I would’ve loved to watch a Lord of the Rings marathon on that thing! – but the most sinister detail of all was that I – not Frodo Baggins – was on screen at the moment. I couldn’t find the exact area of the camera watching me, but the general area must have been the wall on my right. My own face was shown in glorious (quote, cringy) detail on the enormous screen.

Trying to ignore my own elongated visage, I continued on into the darkness. It smelled in here, the disinfected scent one usually associates with science facilities and hospitals mixed with the tantalizing aroma of fast food and ramen. It was a weird smell, to be sure, but at least it was air conditioned. The flickering of the screen – now behind me – cast bizarre shadows on the walls. A vague memory came to mind of an old book I had once loved where a young girl was staying at a farmhouse and was given a candle as her only light to sleep by. She complained that it would make shadows that looked like witches and goblins, but her elderly caretaker told her that it wouldn’t make evil shadows like that. Only shadows of animals and fairies. I had forgotten about that book.

The memory made me zone out for a little bit and I was brought back to reality as the whirr of an automatic door hearkened the arrival of Dr. Alphys. The yellow dinosaur scientist flicked on a lightswitch as she approached, head down as she stared at the phone in her hands, her claws clicking on the floor. She jumped hard when she saw me and almost dropped her phone. Fumbling, she clutched it to her chest, murmuring, “Oh. My god.”

Before I could make a response to this, she began babbling in a high-pitched tone about how she wasn’t expecting me so soon, she was barely dressed, the place was a mess, and many other apologies for the condition of herself and the place where she resided. If she had had any hair on her head, she would’ve been pulling it out by the handful. As it was, she ran her fingers over her scaley scalp, adjusting her little round glasses, and twitched her lab coat as she turned this way and that, altogether displaying a completely frazzled personality.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright!” I had to say this several times before she would calm down enough to listen to me. When she did, she stared at me for a second or two, eyes wide behind her glasses. “Hi?” I said with a hopeful grin.

Alphys jumped as if suddenly discovering that she was being rude by staring. “Oh! H-h-hiya!” she stuttered, giving a small, frantic wave. “I’m Doctor Alphys. I’m Asgore’s royal scientist!”

Before I could say so much as a ‘nice to meet you’, she plowed on ahead. “B-b-but, ahhhh, I’m not one of the ‘bad guys’! Actually, since you stepped out of the ruins, I’ve, um… been ‘observing’ your journey through my console.”

“Ohh, so that’s why…?” I gestured back to the giant monitor.

“Yes!” squeaked Alphys in a manner that might’ve seemed snappish if she didn’t look so startled by the words coming out of her own mouth. She flushed, the scales on her cheeks becoming suddenly pink, before she hurried on. “Your fights, your friendships… everything! I was originally going to stop you, but…” she dipped her head coyly. “Watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them.”

I chuckled. I understood that mentality. Alphys seemed to take this as a good sign because she resumed with a little more confidence, “S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore’s castle, no problem!”

“I could use all the help I can get,” I put in.

Alphys ducked her head again. “Well, actually, um, there’s just a tiny issue,” she said.

“What’s that?” I asked, even though I knew exactly what the problem was.

A robot. A robot named Mettaton with human-killing capabilities that had just ‘happened’ to malfunction at just the wrong moment when Alphys was trying to reprogram him so he wouldn’t kill me and now he had a thirst for human blood. Or, at least that was the story she told me and the story I went along with. I had never put much thought into whether Alphys was telling the truth from the beginning or whether Mettaton told me the truth later down the line, about her intentionally setting him after me so she could seem like a hero, but I wasn’t about to change the plot thread now by pointing it out.

Alphys concluded her narrative with an uneasy giggle that petered out into silence. She coughed uncomfortably. “Heh. But, ummm, hopefully we won’t run into him!”

Clang.

The metallic sound shook the floor. I could feel it tickle the soles of my feet through the floor. “Um…” I said, raising an eyebrow.

Alphys looked desperately cheerful.

Another clang.

“Did you hear something?” Alphys’ voice became decidedly higher.

“Uhm…”

Clang.

Clang.

“Oh no,” muttered Alphys.

The entire room went black and there was a zapping sound as all the lights went out.

“Ohhhh yes!” exclaimed a metallic – yet strangely sensual – voice. “Welcome, beauties…

“…to today’s quiz show!!!”

A spotlight appeared, highlighting a metallic, square figure, perched on a single wheel as his only means of locomotion, holding a microphone in one hand. His ‘face’ was made of a panel of brightly colored red and yellow lights, arranged to display the letter ‘M’. Below that ‘face’ were several knobs and buttons, and two silver-banded arms coming out from his sides. Mettaton, obviously.

Confetti filled the air as brightly as cheerful game music played and colored lights flashed from the ceiling. Recorded applause boomed out of nowhere and Mettaton waved to an unseen audience, the hole in the wall from where he had just burst out a gaping maw of blackness behind him. “Oh boy! I can already tell it’s gonna be a great show!” he cried to the cameras which were surely watching. “Everyone give a big hand to our wonderful contestant!”

There was a spattering of tinned clapping and even more confetti was dumped on me. I put up a hand in an attempt to wave, but it ended up as a feeble shield from the bits of flying paper.

“Never played before, gorgeous?” Mettaton asked me. He didn’t wait for a response. “No problem! It’s simple! There’s only one rule. Answer correctly…”

The music cut out dramatically.

“Or you die!!!”

I was sucked into an encounter as the music resumed. I was given the first turn, but I ended up sparing because I was confused by the sound and the lights.

“Let’s start with an easy one,” Mettaton suggested.

And so the quiz show began. To those of you who have seen the game before, you should know how it went. Simple questions at the beginning, becoming gradually more unfair as we went on. Each optional answer was given a corresponding letter – from A to D – that hovered to either side in much the way the buttons did on the screen of the original game. All I needed to do was walk into them or press them with my hand or shout out the letter to choose that answer. Something I hadn’t realized in my first playthrough, but that I knew now, was that Alphys was quietly shaping the letter of each with her hands, giving me the answer. I was able to solve even the most unfair of questions with her assistance.

Finally, after being asked every question, from ‘what is the king’s proper name’ to ‘how many letters in the name Mettatonnnnnnnnnnnnn’ with the n sound continuing ad infinitum, with the bonus question of whether I would smooch a ghost (all the answers reading ‘heck yeah’ and featuring Alphys glaring at her creation with an unamused expression), Mettaton finally said that it was time to bring out the big guns. “In the dating simulation game Mew Mew Kissie Cutie,” Mettaton read aloud the spectral letterboard that glowed behind him for the audience’s convenience, “what is Mew Mew’s favorite food?”

Alphys’ eyes shone like little stars. “Oh! Oh! I know this one!!! It’s snail ice cream!!!!!!” she shouted. She had been so quiet a moment ago, but now she wasn’t quiet at all. Alphys began to rattle on about her favorite videogame, how that was one of the best parts of the whole thing, how it symbolizes friendship, and how it…

She slowed to a halt as she realized what she had done. Her tail twitched and she cringed, sweating, looking from me to Mettaton to the cameras and back to me again. I bit my lower lip. Well… at least the question was answered now.

“Alphys, Alphys, Alphys,” crooned Mettaton. “You aren’t helping our contestant, are you? Oooooh, you should have told me. I’ll ask a question you’ll be sure to know the answer to!”

Alphys hid her face behind her hands as Mettaton demanded, “Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?”

The answers floated before me. A: Undyne. B: Asgore. C: The Human. D: Don’t Know.

Alphys turned a pleading expression toward me, her teeth clenched together as she held out her hands in a desperate gesture. I felt sorry for her. I really did. But this game show would never end if I didn’t pick a choice. None of these answers were good and D wasn’t true since I DID know, so with an apologetic look I tapped option A.

“See Alphys,” the robot turned to the scientist smugly. “I told you it was obvious. Even the human figured it out. Yes, she scrawles her name in the margins of her notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together… sharing a domestic life.” I could smell the leer in his tone as Alphys buried her face in her arms, blushing furiously. “Probability of crush: 101 percent. Margin of error: 1 percent.”

I thought his math was a bit skewed.

Mettaton’s teasing tone dropped as he sighed, “Well well well. With Doctor Alphys helping you… the show has no dramatic tension! We can’t go on like this!! But. But!!! This was just the pilot episode!! Next up, more drama! More romance!!! More bloodshed!!! Until next time, darlings…!!!”

With that, he squatted, the wheel retracting into his casing as it was replaced by a rocket. He blasted off the ground, rocketing up (pun intended) into the ceiling and beyond. After a moment there was nothing left of the robot except a Mettaton-shaped hole up above and rubble and confetti bits around us. There was nobody left but me and the blushing lizard.

Alphys made a strange, garbled coughing noise as she turned to me, still blushing a bit but trying valiantly to regain her professionality. “Well, that was certainly something,” she said.

“Yeah,” I agreed with a nervous laugh. “Definitely something.”

“Yeah,” echoed Alphys. She twitched. “That last question… he wasn’t supposed to ask that one.”

“And he was supposed to ask all the others?” I asked without thinking. Alphys lurched a bit.

“N-no! Of… of course not. Ehehehe.”

Drat it. I said I DIDN’T want to disrupt the plotline! Cringing a bit internally, I began to circle around the scientist. “Well, I should probably get going now. I’ll—”

“Wait, wait!” Alphys cried after me, scampering closer. Now we were standing side-by-side, she was noticeably shorter than me. About to my shoulder, around the same height as Sans. “Let me give you my ph-phone number!” she offered. “Th-then… m-maybe… if you need help, I could…” she trailed off.

“Oh, yeah!” I agreed. “Thank you! I would like that.” I took out my phone and Alphys stared at it with an expression of pure shock.

“Wh… where’d you get that phone!?” she exclaimed. “It’s ANCIENT!” She looked borderline repulsed. “It doesn’t even have texting.”

“Uh, yeah… I don’t know what year it is,” I said, looking down at the lumpy gray flipphone with pity.

“W-wait a second, please,” said Alphys, taking the phone gingerly from my hands and running back into her secret room with it. I could hear several muffled noises from behind the closed door. It actually sounded kinda violent. Then Alphys returned a moment later and pressed the cellphone back into my hands.

“Here, I upgraded it for you,” she offered, pointing out its key features by pointing a stubby finger at each. “It can do texting, items, it’s got a keychain…”

I’m not sure how she did it, but the creation in my hand seemed almost like a brand new phone. Even though it still flipped open, it was much flatter and sleeker. An entire keypad came out the side when she pointed out the texting capabilities and a keychain was clipped to the side. For keys, I presumed. A 3D holographic box appeared when she clicked on the Items menu for ‘Dimensional Box A’ and I saw all my items inside, along with a list of my contacts, featuring a certain skeleton and a sadly uncommunicating parental goat.

“I even signed you up for the Underground’s number 1 social network!” Alphys finished, clicking to the Undernet app and displaying my new profile. She had creatively named my profile ‘Human101’ and the picture she had used was me smiling into the camera right outside of the ruins. It was a surprisingly alright picture, but maybe I was just alright with it because she used so many glittery silver filters so my face was hardly seen.

“Now we’re officially friends!” Alphys declared with a forced laugh.

“Yeah, I think this qualifies!” I exclaimed, mostly to interrupt the silence I knew would follow after Alphys stopped laughing. “This is awesome, Alphys! Thank you so much! Is there anything I can do for you… to… as a thank you, or anything?”

“Oh! N-no need,” she said, backing up. “You should probably get going, anyway.”

“Yeah, I probably should.”

Alphys’ eyes darted back and forth. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she blurted, then streaked for her secret room. I could see her little yellow feet tapping in the slit where the door met the floor. I grinned, giving a mental shrug, and traveled on out the door.

The hot air hit me like a physical punch as I exited the lab, the phone still grasped in my hand. I’m not going to last long like this, I realized, and began to pull off my sweater. My phone bleeped as I put it on my belt and I looked at its newest notification. Alphys had updated her status. It read ‘just realized i didn’t watch undyne fight the human v.v’.

I shrugged, hooking it back onto my pants and tying my sweater around my shoulders. Better, but not perfect. I would’ve tied it around my waist except for the deuced tutu. Tutu plus sweater was way too bulky. This also made me realize that I had been wearing a tutu on live television. I winced in embarrassment. I would take the tutu off except that it DID give me some defence… for whatever reason. I should probably ask someone about that.

No sooner had I gone two steps then the phone buzzed again. Alphys’ new notification read ‘well i know she’s unbeatable. i’ll ask her about it later ^.^’.

How many times does she need to update? I wondered as she updated yet AGAIN: ‘for now i gotta call up the human and guide them =^.^=’. I shook my head. Crazy scientist.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21

Hotland was the land of conveyer belts. This became clear as I looked around, rolling my shoulders to make sure my sweater didn’t fall off. Besides the conveyer belts stretching before me, I could see several layers ABOVE me as well, stretching off into the distance, disappearing in the shimmering heat. They seemed the main mode of transportation, carrying on when the roads carved into the natural earth ran out, continuing on their legacy with metallic vigor. Underneath the swell of the music I could hear little clinks and rumbles as the belts ceaselessly did their task, happily hastening the forward motion of anyone who cared to come upon them.

If I hadn’t known better I would’ve thought by my surroundings that Mt. Ebbot was a volcano and this was its heart. Come to think of it, it suddenly seemed very plausible that Mt. Ebbot might in fact be a dormant volcano, or at least one kept sleeping by the machinations of its inhabitants. Straying a few steps off the marked path and peering off the raggedly sculpted edge displayed an absolute LAKE of lava churning sleepily down below. A blast of heat brushed my hair upward off my already sweaty forehead and I took a step back, blowing air between my lips in a soundless whistle of amazement. The heat made all my surroundings hazy, steam veiling the farther sights and heat waves warping the ones that stood closer. This is where I stood now: in the midst of controlled disaster.

Welp, too late to turn back now. I squared my shoulders and walked onto the nearest conveyor belt, making sure not to drift too close to the edges. I might come back after dying, but Gollum’s slow consumption by lava kept replaying in my memory. Maybe death by liquid rock was not the most painless way to go.

Should I call Papyrus and Undyne and let them know I was safely in Hotland? I wondered, stepping over the seam between conveyor belts to the next one and continuing onwards. Yeah, probably. I wasn’t much for phone communication, but it was the least I could do to tell my friends I was still alive. I shrugged to myself and pulled out my phone. After a single ring, Papyrus picked up.

“Hey! Guess who’s in Hotland?” I enthused.

“OH MY GOD! IS IT YOU!?!”

“Yessiree!” I laughed.

“Hey, cool! What do you think of it?” asked Undyne’s voice.

“It’s hot,” I said, not sure how else to describe a place called ‘Hotland’. “And there’s lots of steam around. And lava. And conveyor belts! There is an awful lot of conveyor belts in this place!”

“I rode on a conveyor belt once,” Undyne put in. “I learned pretty fast that they make me sick.”

I clicked my tongue in sympathy.

“DID YOU HURL??” Papyrus probed.

“Yeah, like nine thousand times!! It was awesome!!” Undyne shouted into the receiver.

They cut out with a crackle of static, but before I could get them back I was ambushed by a Vulkin. It was a cute little thing. I had no idea where it came from, but here it was. Remembering my tactics from playing the first time, I gave it a tentative hug. Note to future self: hugging a tiny, cute volcano with legs? Not the best idea. No matter how adorable it looks, its stony sides are HOT. As Tem would say, “NOT CUTE!!!”

Then I was bombarded with magic attacks. I was still recuperating from the hug, so I got hit a couple times while I was distracted. But then it was over and I could Spare. The Vulkin bounded over the side of the conveyor belt (which, for anybody who wishes to know, had STOPPED moving while the Encounter took place) and splashed into the lava below where he happily bathed, giving me no more trouble.

Once the belt had continued moving, I whipped out my phone again. “Sorry, I lost you there. What were you saying?”

“I was just talking about—” Undyne began, but Papyrus cut her off quickly, hissing into the receiver, “STOP CALLING AND MAKING HER SAY GROSS THINGS.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, will do!” I laughed.

“THANK YOU!”

And with a click, the line went dead.

It seemed that Hotland was more than just the land of heat and conveyor belts. It was also the land of high-pressure steam vents, motion activated lasers, and automated jigsaw puzzles. Allow me to explain what I mean.

Every so often there would be a gap in the path. I’m not talking about a little ‘ok, just gonna hop over this now here we go now – hup!’ gap, but a sizable ‘not even with a running leap could I clear this where’s a bird to carry me over this disproportionately sized gap’ kind of deal. At the end of the path right before the drop-off was a vent with an arrow on it, usually pointing at the other side, but when there were several gaps the arrow could rotate to point to any direction. When waving my leg over the vent, I couldn’t feel any kind of air (or steam) resisting its passage. When I tentatively stood on the vent for the first time, however, it must’ve activated something in the mechanism, because with a ‘whoosh’ of compressed, cooled steam, I was launched up and over the gap, stumbling to a halt on the other side. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t leap into my mouth the first time I went sailing, but after a few trips I began to refine my technique, attempting to push off a little more forcefully and land with a tad more grace. It still wasn’t a perfect process, but hey, at least it was working a little.

Second explanation: the motion activated lasers. After successfully navigating the first maze of steam vents, then diving back in because I totally forgot that the Frying Pan was somewhere back in there and maybe it would be a good idea to have an item that gave me +4 HP with each health item I ate, and then making my way back to the exit Frying Pan in hand, I made my way to the next room. Alphys, screwing up her courage after continual updates on the Undernet app about how much she did NOT like talking on the phone, gave me a very garbled message about how the lasers worked before hanging up. I don’t want to give her too much trash about it because it was obviously difficult for her, but MAN was that painfully awkward to listen to! I had empathic phone call PTSD from some of my own failed calls from her bumbling message.

But anyway, the whole point of her message (which I will spare you, by the way, because the text in the game does not in ANY way convey just how traumatic that situation was for both of us) was that I would need to pass through a laser grid in my path, which coincidentally was a very thin, handrail-less path which made it impossible to sneak past or around the lasers in my path. From what I knew from the game and what I gathered from Alphys, the blue lasers worked like Papyrus’s blue magic attacks. If you stood still, they wouldn’t hurt you. But the orange lasers were a new deal. The orange lasers you had to walk through head-on. Honestly, between the two of them, I liked the orange lasers better. Sure, it was a little unnerving to walk into the lasers like that when you know that they could hurt you if you stopped, but if you just thought of them as party lights or something fun and just kept walking, it wasn’t too bad. I still didn’t like the blue lasers. Waiting for it to come to you and willing yourself not to flinch was a lot harder than faking the confidence to stride forward into the beams. It became a weird game of stop-and-go to progress, ducking forward into the orange light, pausing for the blue, then shooting forward again before it returned. I could only take a deep breath once I was safely on the other side. It took a surprising amount of concentration to get there.

And finally: the automated jigsaw puzzles. Even though I personally hate the regular kind of jigsaw puzzles, these ones were honestly fun. The basic gist of the whole ordeal was this: you go into a room that has a giant screen on the wall. On the screen there are a bunch of cubes, black and white, and two triangles (called ships) on the top and bottom of the screen. You control the firing capabilities of the ship on the bottom, but you only have a certain number of shots. You can move the white blocks out of the way or shoot them to break them, but since you only had a certain number of shots before the game reset, there was some amount of strategy involved.

I don’t know whose idea it was to hook up the doors in Hotland to a puzzle game so that when the puzzle was solved the doors would open, but they deserved a medal. I couldn’t think of a more enjoyable way to make things secure. The first couple puzzles were laughably easy, but I knew they would get tougher as I progressed. So progress I did.

Right into a room of liquid blackness. Even though the ceiling was open, the walls that had risen up around me effectively cut off any of the lava light that shone from below, making my surroundings pitch black. I took some tentative steps inside, probing with my foot to avoid any unforeseen objects.

“H-hey, it’s kind of dark in there, isn’t it?” Alphys asked over the phone.

“Yeah,” I squeaked. “Just a bit.” My foot touched something solid and I groped it with my hands. A countertop?

“Don’t worry!” Alphys assured. “I’ll hack into the lights system and brighten it up!”

“Okie dokie.”

No sooner had my agreement come out of my mouth than the lights flashed on.

“Oh no,” I heard Alphys groan into the receiver.

I was in a kitchen. A fancily decorated show kitchen, unless I mistook my guess. And I had been right – I WAS standing behind a counter. A few lights and cameras were pointing in my direction, but before I could get freaked out about it too badly, Mettaton rose up beside me from beneath a fake floor, dressed in a chef’s hat and wielding a microphone.

“Ohhhh yes!!!” he cried, his free hand waving to the cameras. “Welcome, beauties, to the underground’s premiere cooking show!!!”

I heard a tinkling noise as I was sure the words ‘Cooking with a Killer Robot’ was being edited in.

“Pre-heat your ovens, because we’ve got a very special recipe for you today!” Mettaton claimed. “We’re going to be making…” dramatic pause. “…a cake!”

I said it before in my playthrough and I’ll say it again here: ROBOTS BAKING CAKES ARE NEVER GOOD NEWS!!! GLaDOS had taught me this and I had learned it well. The cake was (and still is) very much a lie.

“My lovely assistant here will gather the ingredients. Everyone give them a big hand.” Mettaton gestured to me and I waved at the cameras as confetti dumped from the ceiling. Remember when I mentioned I was a bit of a ham when it came to performing? I might not be all that good at impromptu performances, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy them. “We’ll need sugar, milk, and eggs,” Mettaton said. “Go for it, sweetheart.”

With a quirk of my head, I turned around and gathered the ingredients. They weren’t hard to find – just on the other counter behind me.

“Perfect! Great job, beautiful!” Mettaton praised. Even though it was only a show, I felt pleased by his kind words. But that feeling ebbed a moment later when he added a moment of monologuing later, “Oh my! Wait a magnificent moment! How could I forget!!! We’re missing the most important ingredient!”

With dramatic deliberation, his front screen turning the color of blood, Mettaton pulled out a chainsaw. “A human soul!!!!”

He advanced upon me, the music above rising as I took a half step backwards. But as intense as the music was, and as threatening as the robot appeared, I would have been far more afraid if the chainsaw had been turned on.

Everything went quiet as a cell phone rang. Mettaton pressed a button on his core. “Hello…? I’m kind of in the middle of something here,” he told the caller, turning slightly aside to talk to them, but still in a loud stage voice so the camera could hear his words.

“W- wait a second!!!” Alphys’ voice cried, annunciated on speakerphone so the camera could pick up her voice as well. “Couldn’t you make a… Couldn’t you use a… Couldn’t you make a substitution in the recipe?!”

“…A substitution?” Mettaton seemed extremely relaxed when compared to Alphys’ jittery ramble. “You mean, use a different, non-human ingredient?” He looked at me, chainsaw still raised and posed the question, “…Why?”

“Uhh… what if someone’s…” Alphys paused, searching for a word. I felt one of my muscles in my neck cramp up from tension. “…Vegan?”

“…Vegan.”

“Uh well I mean—” Alphys started to backtrack, but Mettaton talked right over her, blasting at full volume: “That’s a brilliant idea, Alphys!! Actually, I happen to have an option right here!!! MTT brand always-convenient human-soul-flavor-substitute! A can of which… is just over on that counter!”

Mettaton waved a hand at a counter previously obscured, standing by what I assumed was the exit. On that counter stood a red cylindrical container with a brown heart on the front. At Mettaton’s suggestion that I go over and get it, I started to walk over towards the thing, wondering as I did what flavor a human soul could possibly add to a cake. And if a human’s soul could lend a flavor, then what would a monster’s soul lend? Would they grant the same flavor? Or was a monster’s soul and a human’s soul flavor distinctly different? How did the first person to try find that out? Did they write a recipe book afterwards? Or were they just considered a sicko and run out of town? Or both??? I had so many questions.

I never got to the container. As soon as I got within six feet, the counter rumbled, then began to grow at an alarming rate, the poor cylinder rising with the speed of a rocket higher and higher with every passing second. I watched belatedly as it disappeared from sight, the now extensively prolonged countertop stretching far above. I knew this would happen. But then why did I feel so put out about it?

“By the way, our show runs on a strict schedule,” Mettaton said from behind me. “If you can’t get the can in one minute… we’ll just have to go back to the original plan!!! So… better start climbing, beautiful!!!”

“I guess so,” I said dully.

Mettaton grew his rocket tail again and blasted up off the floor. I gave a sigh through my nose and a despairing look at the camera, just to play up the suspense a little bit.

My phone rang. I put it up to my ear, then quickly withdrew. For some reason she was on speakerphone. “Oh no!!!” she cried. “There’s not enough time to climb up!”

“Are you sure?” I asked, appraising the distance. It was the stupidest thing I could’ve said. Honestly, no cameras should be on me. I’m an idiot. Even soap operas wouldn’t hire me for my acting.

“P-pretty sure. But! F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan!”

“Let’s hear it! I am open for options.”

“When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few… features. You see that huge button that says… ‘jetpack’?”

“Uh… yeah!” It was kinda hard to miss, honestly. It wasn’t exactly a button – just a warning light on the back with the word ‘jetpack’ written on it really big.

“Watch this!”

The light began flashing and the phone rose from my hand. It flipped itself around, rearranging its parts until it – instead of a phone, became a snazzy red-and-yellow jetpack. It settled on my back and straps snaked under each arm, securing it in place. “Ni-hi-hi-hice!!!” I chortled, examining the thing.

“There!” Alphys enthused through the speaker on my harness. “You should have just enough fuel to reach the top! Now, get up there!!!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I said and lifted off the ground.

Honestly, I think that Alphys controlled the thruster. Either that or it magically operated by my desire to ascend, but I doubt that that was the case since I seemed to travel at a consistent speed. Buttons on the straps allowed me to move from side to side. It controlled gently, as easily as if I was using a joystick from the other side of the screen. Maybe it was soul powered or something? Or maybe not. Alphys had mentioned fuel of some kind. But then again, she liked to pretend that she had created a soul and bound it to a robot instead of binding an already living (living???) ghost instead. So maybe she wasn’t all that trustworthy when it came to the details.

Mettaton returned, hovering above my head and tossing down food to slow my ascent. The same food I had gathered for him, I might add. I caught a faceful of milk and dodged to avoid a rain of eggs. Next came a cloud of sugar. I yelped as it hit me, the little grains getting running into my hair and sticking to my sweaty skin. I rubbed my face with my shirt sleeve quickly and prepared for the next assault. More eggs. Delightful.

The peppy music helped fuel my determination to succeed, even as my neck began to hurt as I craned it ever upwards, flinching every so often as I tried to roll around Mettaton’s attacks. I’m sure that Mettaton’s viewers got a kick out of hearing me sputter when milk got thrown in my face, or yelping when I got splattered by a stray egg. The attacks became progressively difficult, and I might have squealed a few times as I plowed headfirst into an absolute AVALANCHE of sugar came raining down on my head. At least it wasn’t deadly or else I’d be a goner.

How much time was left? I wondered, wishing that the timer was somewhere conveniently placed for me to see. It had seemed like more than a minute and I was egged and sugared like a cut-out cookie.

But there! I could see the top! Only a little farther and I reached it, landing on the elusive countertop and grabbing the can – which was extremely light, almost as if it was a prop and nothing inside wink, wink – and letting out a loud, “Ha-HA!” of triumph.

“My my,” Mettaton exclaimed, hovering beside me as I knelt on the counter, grinning like an idiot. “It seems you’ve bested me. But only because you had the help of the brilliant Doctor Alphys! Oh, I loathe to think what would have happened to you without her!!!”

I considered saying something there, but I couldn’t think of anything clever or witty, so I just settled for panting, sitting down with the canister in my lap, legs dangling off the edge.

Mettaton gave a shrug. “Well, toodles!!” He began to fly away.

“Uh…!” I waved the canister after his disappearing form. “Hey! Don’t you need this for the cake or something?”

“Oh, yes!” Mettaton was back. “About the substitution… Haven’t you ever seen a cooking show before? I already baked the cake ahead of time!!!!! So forget it!!!”

Aaaand he was gone again.

I sighed, shrugging and putting the tin back in its place, turning onto my belly like a toddler trying to get off of a stool, pushing off and letting my jetpack take me down. It seemed to take a significantly shorter time going down than it did going up. But considering all my previous hiking adventures, that seemed to be about right.

No sooner had my toes touched the ground then the jetpack’s clasps unlocked and the jetpack collapsed into its original form. The pack – now a cellphone – rang, and I put it up to my ear. “Wow!” Alphys exclaimed through the receiver. “We… we did it!! We… we really did it!!! Great job out there, team!”

“Thank you!” I exclaimed back.

…Wait, was this where I was supposed to say ‘all thanks to you’?

“W-well, uh, anyway,” Alphys continued, back to her previous awkward ways, “let’s keep heading forward!!!” And she hung up before I could say anything more.

“Okay,” I said to an empty room, and headed off stage right. The bright florescent lights gave way to the more natural lava glow as I went and I saw, for the first time, the sight of the Core looming in the distance. It seemed the end of my journey was within sight. Wow. My stomach twisted with a feeling like excitement as I dipped my hand into the light of a nearby Save Point.

A little puff of white fell from my hair and I realized that I was still covered in sugar, milk, and eggy bits. Ew. I brushed gummy powder off my arms and out of my hair, the queasy feeling growing in my stomach as I touched the stuff. For some reason it felt familiar. Not a good familiar, but a strange, gritty familiarity that made me want to wash my entire soul. I shook like a dog, getting most of it off, but I still felt grains of sugar between my fingers and lodged in the folds of the sweater tied around my waist.

I wished I could go back to Waterfall for a bit and wash off. Maybe the Riverperson would drive me back. Or wait! Maybe I could just wash off in the Riverperson’s stream instead! That was much closer! All I had to do was get to an elevator.

But no sooner had I taken a step then Alphys called again. Grunting in mild exasperation, I took out my phone again. “Hello?”

“S-see that building in the distance?” Alphys asked without so much as a how-de-do.

“Uh, yep!”

“That’s the Core. That’s the source of all power for the underground.”

“Huh,” I said politely, beginning to move forward while she talked. Maybe Frisk couldn’t talk and move at the same time, but I could.

“It converts geothermal energy into magical energy by…” she stopped, realizing that she was getting into nerdy stuff. “Uhh, anyway, that’s where we’re going to go. In the Core is an elevator directly to Asgore’s castle. And from there… you can go home.”

“Sounds good to me!” I interjected.

Alphys made a little noise of agreement (I assume) and hung up. I put the phone back on my belt and headed toward the elevator, and from there to Left Floor 1. And from there to the Riverman’s dock.

The water was warm. I splashed some on my face and down my arms, submerging my head and flipping my wet hair down my back. The Riverperson looked on without comment as I attempted to rid myself of the stickiness. Once I deemed myself mostly food free, I retied the sweater around my waist, wrung the excess water from my hair, and headed back to the elevator. I had a lot more ground to cover before I could reach the Core.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22

Heats Flamesman, my mouth moved silently as I chanted to myself. Heats Flamesman. Heats Flamesman. I’ll remember his name.

My eyes lit up as I spotted Sans, handing off a hotdog through the window of his sentry station to what looked like a blue bird woman, who proceeded to carry it off in her talons, hovering a foot above the ground like the hotdog was a skateboard. Sans’s perpetual grin widened as I stepped forward and he greeted, “hey buddy, what’s up?”

“Not too much right now. Although I have been on TV a couple times in the last… few hours.” I had to pause to consider how long I had been walking. It was very difficult to gauge time in the underground.

“mettaton, right? that’s my brother’s favorite show. watches every episode.”

“You think he’s been watching?” I asked eagerly.

“i’d bet good money on it. speaking of which, wanna buy a hotdog? it’s only 30G.” He pushed one invitingly over the countertop.

I thought over my supply. It was sadly diminished since my fight with Undyne – I was still kicking myself over eating that Spider Donut! – and the few supplies I had picked up before leaving Snowdin suddenly seemed insufficient.

“You know what? Sure, why not. But this better not be like the snow thing earlier… the fried snow.”

“nah. a good comedian never pulls the same trick more than once.”

Wasn’t that magicians? I wondered.

“anyway, here’s your ‘dog.” He handed it off and it vanished into my inventory.

“Thanks!”

“get it? ‘dog?” Sans watched me for a reaction. “apostrophe-dog? short for hot-dog?”

I nodded, and then snickered, more because of cringe value than his comedic genius. Sans shook his head sadly. “tough crowd.”

“Actually,” I said after mulling for another second, “I think I’ll have another one, if you please.”

For some reason I had been against buying multiple items in my playthrough, and I couldn’t help but remember that a Pyrope was waiting for me outside the room and that it had killed me several times when I was playing. Maybe because I had been talking and that made it hard to concentrate, but just in case… hotdog. Yeah.

“another h’dog?” Sans shrugged and rifled under the counter. “here you go…” He paused, squinting at the food in his hand. “whoops. i’m actually out of hot dogs. here, you can have a hot cat instead.”

It went into my inventory before it reached my hand, so I brought it back out to examine the thing. My mouth opened in an ‘o’ of amazement as I looked at it. It looked like a hotdog, except that it had tiny ears at the end. “Awww, it’s so cuuuute!” I squealed. Sans looked amused by my reaction, and I slipped the hotcat back into my inventory. “Can I have one more?”

“another dog, coming right up.” He gave me a sly look as he groped under the counter yet again. “you really like hot animals, don’t you? hey, i’m not judging. i’d be out of a job without folks like you.”

“Right now it’s for your reaction, I’ll be honest,” I said, taking the offered ‘dog. So he DIDN’T run out of them after all! Liar.

“really? i’d think that i couldn’t surprise you by this point.” He looked at me pointedly, but before I could speak he gestured to the nearby Vulkin and the blue bird lady, still skating on her hot dog. “we should really talk later. i think we both have questions for each other.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” I answered, instinctively lowering my voice. “Where should we talk?”

“heh. shouldn’t you know that?”

I replayed the game in my brain. It wasn’t long before the answer came to me. “The restaurant? MTT Resort?”

“bingo.” Sans settled back in his chair. “so… see you there?”

“Yeah!” I nodded enthusiastically. “Looking forward to it.”

He gave a short nod and I headed out of the room, immediately getting ambushed by Pyrope as soon as I exited, as well as a slew of online posts from Alphys, one rather cringy picture from Papyrus, and a friend request from Napstablook that rejected itself before I could accept it. I also found a cooking apron to replace my tutu, which I gratefully placed in a dimensional box to – hopefully – never be touched again. The apron was MUCH more to my liking. I worked in an apron for my job – not a cooking apron, but still similar enough that I felt a sense of familiarity with my new armor. A little hot, maybe, but I could take the heat, even with my sweater re-tied around my waist.

Again… WHY did it up my defenses? I added it to my mental list of things to ask Sans when we had the chance to talk. What was the deal with clothes giving you defense points? Um… what else? Oh yeah: music. What was up with the music in the Underground? Where did it come from? Anything else that I wanted to know…?

I kept thinking as I solved more puzzles, including the stupidly simple one that had taken me AGES to solve the first time I played – the one with the buttons in the centers of the vents. I solved it in thirty seconds flat now that I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but not without an internal facepalm because now it seemed so simple.

Past my next Save Point, I suddenly heard a yell from behind me: “Hey! You! Stop!”

I obliged, wondering as I did if I had done anything wrong to warrant such attention. Two Royal Guards in black armor – one with a helmet elongated to protect his rabbit ears – marched up. “Hey,” I greeted, trying to stick my hands in the pockets of my apron and becoming sorely disappointed that there were no pockets.

“Hiya,” returned the rabbit-eared guard. “We’ve, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a striped shirt. They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now…”

“I…” I stammered, trying to figure out if I could worm my way out of this one.

“I know, sounds scary, huh?” the guard soothed, apparently under the impression that I was a scared little monster who he had just freaked out by the announcement of a potentially dangerous human. “Well, just stay chill. We’ll bring you someplace safe, OK?”

“Uhm…?”

The guards began to walk away, the silent one giving me a sideways glance as he began walking. I shot him a helpless look and he motioned to his companion.

“Huh? What is it, bro?” the rabbit guard asked.

RG 02 jerked his head in my direction.

“The shirt around their waist? …Like, what about it?”

Both turned and stared at me. I untied the shirt and held it up to my chest, shrugging apologetically.

“Bro…” RG 01 said, “Are you thinkin… what I’m thinkin?” He laughed nervously. “Bummer. This is, like… mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff.”

“Yeah, I getcha,” I nodded. It wasn’t as if they were any different than everybody else who had been attempting.

I was swept into an Encounter. Even though playing the part of cupid made me a mite bit uncomfortable, I knew what I had to do.

And so my plan went into action. I polished RG 02’s armor as the two guards threw pointy white magic attacks at me. I polished until I could feel the heat emanating from it. I polished until it was too hot for him to wear and he threw off his breastplate, showing a well-muscled, scaley chest and I could practically feel RG 01’s discomfort grow. Then I gave him a prompting look. “Is there something you would like to say?” I asked.

“I…” RG 01 stammered, almost losing his rhythm. His attacks swerved around me. He couldn’t concentrate.

Then suddenly he cried out that he couldn’t take it anymore. He completely forgot me as he confessed to his bro and I stood awkwardly by. Then they came to the agreement to get Nice Cream, and I kicked myself soundly because this means that there would be no more Nice Cream for me from Ronnie and DRAT IT that was the WORST possible solution to this whole debacle! Was it too much to hope that Ronnie would save some Nice Cream for me?

Yeah. Yes, it was. I felt a strong sense of disappointment as they walked off happily together. Drat their bromance-romance getting in the way of my Nice Cream. At least with Undyne and Alphys they wouldn’t block me from Nice Cream later on. I felt a little bit assuaged. Just a little bit, though. I still wanted Nice Cream.

On down the line, it was more of the same. Mettaton trapped me on a game show. I got through his traps. I solved puzzles. Alphys called me a couple times. I progressed.

And then I came to Muffet’s Lair. I doubt it was actually called her ‘Lair’, but from all appearances it looked like if it wasn’t already, then it should be. The dark shadows and cobwebby interior made me instantly regret eating that Spider Donut. Even if it meant Undyne killed me a couple more times, I did not want to spend more time in there than I had to. I Saved twice, just to get an extra shot of Determination.

One thing I was happy about: I did not have arachnophobia. But that was the only thing I was happy about, because inside that building was dark, I heard skittering noises in the shadows, and my feet became entangled in trailing spiderwebs like cotton candy. I could see spiders retract themselves on spider silk out of my range of vision as they dangled off the ceiling. I stood on a walkway, one with no handrails, of course. I couldn’t see anything but darkness down below. Then, out of nowhere, came a thin, soft laugh.

“Ahuhuhu… did you hear what they just said?” The voice seemed to come from everywhere. I shivered. It wasn’t specifically cold in here, but after the warmth of outside my sweat made my skin chill.

“They said a human wearing a striped shirt will come through.” Continued the voice. I proceeded forward, acting as if I didn’t hear it. My footsteps were clogged by spiderwebs. “I heard they hate spiders. I heard they like to stomp on them. I heard that they like to tear their legs off.”

Now I was waist-deep in a sea of spiderwebs. I could hardly move my legs anymore. I gritted my teeth, hoping desperately that there weren’t any itty bitty spiders hiding in the webs. Now I was completely bound. I couldn’t walk forward anymore. I was stuck.

“I heard…” Now the voice was coming distinctly to my left. I tried to whip around to face it, failed, and pivoted slowly toward its location. Out of the shadows loomed a face – a familiar face – one I had seen just a little while back at the bake sale presiding over the pastries. A spider lady, brown hair done up in pigtails, an auburn blouse and puffed pantaloons, six arms and two legs, mouth creased in a fanged smile. “…That they’re awfully stingy with their money,” she finished, biting the words out as crisply as one might bite into an apple.

Man I wished I could move right about now!

The spider – Muffet, I remembered her name was – covered her mouth with one delicate hand as she giggled, many other smaller spiders appearing from either side of the walkway I stood upon, as well as up above my head and on either side of her.

“You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don’t you, deary?” Muffet crooned. I felt shivers snake up and down my back.

“N-no!” My voice didn’t travel very far. My tongue felt suddenly very dry.

“I disagree with that notion,” Muffet giggled again. “I think your taste is exactly what this next batch needs!”

And with those words, the silken cords around my legs suddenly rose like a wave. I was thrown off the edge of the walkway into an absolute sea of spider silk. They caught me like a net and I stood up, peering up into Muffet’s many eyes as Spider Dance kicked up around me.

Well… this was different.

I decided to ‘Check’ this turn. The ghostly information that showed up on the side didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t know already. On her turn, Muffet picked up several teapots in her free hands. “Don’t look so blue, my deary,” she crooned. She began to pour the teapots. Even though it looked like some sort of purple liquid came out on top of my head, I didn’t feel wet. I felt as if I was absorbing everything, it was soaking up into me. My eyes were filled with purple. I couldn’t see anymore!

I rubbed my eyes and suddenly I could see again. My surroundings had changed a little. There were six thick ropes of spider silk running parallel to each other (sideways, not up-and-down), three sets two deep. I stood on one, and the silk above it ran through my soul. I winced as I realized just how much dexterity this might take. I might be many things, but a tightrope walker was not one of them. Spiders ominously took their places at the ends of each of the purple ropes, a magical baked good held in front of them.

“I think purple is a better look on you,” giggled Muffet, appraising me from above.

MAN I wish I had saved that Spider Donut!

Thus began an endeavor. Try as I might, there was no way to pull my soul off of the purple ropes. Muffet only laughed at me when I tried. The only time my soul let go was when I physically jumped from one rope to another, my feet touching the bottom row of spider silk and the top row grabbing my soul. I was kept pretty well balanced, thanks to the sticky nature of the silk, but there was always a slight bend to the webbing that made my heart leap into my throat with every step I took. I couldn’t duck. My soul kept me upright. My only consolation was that I was jumping from left to right, not up and down like it looked in the game, but that was a small consolation at best.

Muffet would throw pastries to the spiders on the edges of the rope, who would affix them and send them down the line at me. The baked goods were magical attacks, so they disappeared as soon as they reached the end of the silk. Magical white attacks shaped like spiders would crawl down the line with sickening speed straight at my chest. These were the easiest, but the shock factor was still ripe with her first attack.

The worst part was that there was nothing I could do besides dodge. Muffet would not listen to my explanations or my pleas. She simply turned a deaf ear to my meager attempts at communication, stating proudly, “There’s no need for tears, my deary. Those won’t help anybody!”

Struggling amused her. Giving her G took the edge off some of her attacks. Dodging assured that I would stay alive. Beyond that, there was nothing more I could do.

 “Oh, how rude of me! I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet.”

My heart stopped. Oh no. I had forgotten about her pet. I thought I had been doing relatively well, considering what I had been forced to do, but…

“It’s breakfast time, isn’t it? Have fun, you two,” Muffet simpered.

Somebody began bouncing the purple silk. I clenched my teeth and moved along it as best as I could. The white silk, which formed an effective box to keep me inside, started closing up behind me, opening up ahead, and I moved forward, toward the incessant white spider attacks until I was in a completely different area. And then ahead a giant figure loomed. When I say it was a giant, spider-legged cupcake, I’m sure you start to snort with laughter. Please don’t. It was terrifying. My knees almost gave way on the spot as it roared, spattering me with bread bits and filling the cavern with the smell of cake.

Muffet’s pet growled and launched itself underneath me, beginning to crawl up at a consistent speed. My hands shook as I realized that more purple silks had descended, forming a ladder for me to climb. Climb I did, avoiding the attacks on the way up, trying desperately to stay away from the imminent bread product. Panic filled my lungs.

Either it gave up or I outran it, because suddenly there were only three rows of two lines again and the cupcake was nowhere to be seen. I scarfed down a hotdog (which really didn’t taste much like a hotdog, but hey, I wasn’t complaining. Not about that, anyway) and prepared myself for Muffet’s next attack.

I died. A lot. But not as many times as with Undyne, so I counted it as a win. I also didn’t have to go crawling back to Sans for more hotdogs, so I counted that as an absolute win. But I still had to deal with all of Muffet’s hand-clapping and dancing and cooing words about how she was being paid a lot of money to take me out. How the money she would get for taking my soul would pay for transporting the spiders in the Ruins all the way to Hotland. I had to listen to her gush over it over… and over… and over…

“You’re still alive?” Muffet giggled after a particularly trying climb away from her pet. My arms ached and I could feel sweat dripping down my back. “Oh my pet, looks like it’s time for dessert…”

No, no please, not again…

But then Muffet’s attention was distracted. A spider holding a white… something came up to her. With my blurred, sweaty vision I thought for a moment that it was a flower.

“Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins?” Muffet squinted with all six of her beady eyes as she read. “What? They’re saying that they saw you and…” She looked at me, surprised. “…you helped donate to their cause!”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to TELL YOU!” I shouted up at her. Again, she didn’t seem to hear.

“Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding,” she simpered. “I thought you were someone who hated spiders. The person who asked for that soul… they must have meant a DIFFERENT human in a striped shirt. Sorry for all the trouble, ahuhuhu.”

I wanted to say ‘forget about it’, or ‘no worries’, but I was still kind of mad, so I kept my mouth shut. Mama said if you couldn’t say anything nice…

“I’ll make it up to you.” Muffet began to reel me in, depositing me back on the walkway and picking spider silk off my form. “You can come back here at any time… and for no charge at all… I’ll wrap you up and let you play with my pet again!”

“No-ho-ho-hoooooo,” I said, lifting my hands up. “No thank you.”

Muffet laughed at my reaction. “Just kidding – I’ll spare you now.”

“Thank you,” I gasped, returning the favor. A second later the encounter had ended. The spiders began scampering back to their darkened corners and Muffet waved several hands of farewell.

“That was fun! See you again, dearie.”

Not if I can help it, I thought, walking as fast as I could on aching, shaky legs to the exit. Oh, drat, I probably should’ve gone back and Saved, I thought as the Hotland air hit me smack in the face.

Well, you still can, responded that shred of common sense that lurked in the back of my brain.

Hey, that’s a good point! I twisted myself back around to look at the place I had just left. The dark, webby, spider, muffin, and spider muffin infested hole…

You know what? I’m good.

I’m pretty sure my common sense facepalmed. But hey, if it was pride verses minor convenience, pride would win out if it was only a minor convenience. I promised myself I wouldn’t die before the next Save Point. All that going back would earn me was a Determination boost.

Which, come to think of it as I realized what was coming up, might not be such a bad thing.

The set for Mettaton’s self-named opera rose in the distance – the gleaming turrets of a castle. Mettaton himself peered out from the balcony and came down the stairs to greet me, dressed in a Cinderella-style ballgown, and began to serenade me. Which was great and all, but after the Muffet battle my arms and legs were worn out and all I wanted to do was get to MTT Resort and have some sit down and talk time with Sans. But I waited politely for Mettaton to finish. After all, it’s not every day that a singing robot in a dress serenades you to your doom. At least not on my side of reality.

I listened politely, giving the camera sideways looks every now and again, The Office style. As much an attention ham as I was, Mettaton was twice as hammy. I doubted that I could upstage him and I really wasn’t in the mood to join in. So I waited until Mettaton’s song ended and he raised his white-gloved hand to his ‘forehead’ (????) and wailed, “So sad. So sad that you are going to the dungeon.” He pulled out a remote button, his tone switching out from his overdramatic sorrow. “Well, toodles!” He pressed the button and I fell.

I still wasn’t sure exactly how physics worked in this world. I felt just as heavy as normal, but I could fall from extraordinary distances without damage. So was the case here as I fell into the ‘dungeon’, which looked similar to the areas that I had just been walking through – a walkway above boiling lava.

“Oh no! Whatever shall I do?” sobbed Mettaton, flying above me on rocket thrusters. I moved back to avoid looking up his skirt. Even if I had seen it before since he usually wore no clothing at all, it just seemed plain rude. “My love has been cast away into the dungeon. A dungeon so dastardly my paramour will surely perish!”

I looked beyond the nearby conveyor belt at my newest trial, which happened to be none other than the colored tile puzzle Papyrus had attempted to stump me with back in Snowdin. As Mettaton talked, I immediately started to pick out a path. Wait… was it orange or lemon scent that the piranhas couldn’t handle? Unfortunately, Mettaton didn’t elaborate on the rules that far, and he didn’t listen to me when I tried to ask him if he would give the rules another run-around.

“Oh, and you’d better hurry,” Mettaton added while I was still trying to get his attention. “Because if you don’t get through in 30 seconds…” He paused and a well-timed fiery blast rippled behind me. “You’ll be incinerated by these jets of fire!!” He laughed deviously. “My poor love! I’m so filled with grief, I can’t stop laughing!”

Sure you are, I thought, preparing myself to sprint forward.

“Good luck, darling!”

The clock started ticking down and I jumped forward. Mettaton sung loudly above me and I tried hard to think over him, but mostly my thought process was ‘avoid yellow. Yellow is electrical. Don’t step on yellow!’

I couldn’t jump over tiles in my path, as much as I wanted to. I literally couldn’t. And believe me, I tried, especially when I looked up and saw the timer hanging from a track up by the ceiling ticking down. I slogged through a blue tile, slipped through a purple tile, smelled a burst of lemony freshness, and then time was up.

“Oooh, I’m so sorry! Looks like you’re out of time!!!” Mettaton crowed.

I grumbled to myself. Was it even possible to pass through this puzzle?

“Here come the flames, darling!”

Here they came, indeed. I felt their warmth as they came, as Mettaton elaborated, closer, closer, even closer. I could feel my skin start to wither as the heat became truly unpleasant. I tried to shield myself with my hands as the flames stood only a few feet away. But Mettaton was hesitating, like he was waiting for a cue. He gave a robotic cough in the direction of the cameras, and if he had eyes I was sure he would be signaling with them. The heat was really hurting, now.

Then my phone rang. I pulled it out, hands shaking. “Watch out!!” cried Alphys through the headpiece, as if I wasn’t doing that already. “I’ll save you!! I’m hacking into the firewall right now!”

A second later the flames extinguished and I, freshly toasted, was no longer in such mortal danger.

“Oh no!!! How could this happen???” demanded Mettaton. “Foiled again by the brilliant Doctor Alphys!!”

An awkward silence followed these words. Mettaton started to fill the gap, but Alphys butted in again: “That’s right! Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You’ll never be able to defeat us… not as long as we work together!”

“Yeah!” I interjected, wanting to join the show for once.

“Your puzzle’s over…” Alphys added, her voice shaking slightly. “Now go home and leave us alone!”

“Puzzle? Over?” Mettaton sounded sly. “Alphys, darling, what are you talking about…? Did you forget what the green tiles do?”

“Oh,” I muttered. Mettaton caught my drift.

“Exactly,” he responded. “The make a sound, then you have to fight a monster. Well, darling… that monster… is me!!”

He descended, throwing off his dress and gloves, dragging me into an Encounter. “I don’t want to fight you!” I yelled over the thundering sound of his music, annunciated by the confines of the ‘dungeon’.

“This is it, darling,” Mettaton purred. “Goodbye!”

My phone rang. “Is that your phone?” Mettaton asked as I transferred the frying pan under my arm. “You’d better answer it!”

I decided to put the frying pan down on the ground. It wasn’t like I was using it, anyway. Alphys’ voice came through the speaker. “H-hey!! Th-this seems bad, but don’t worry!! Th-there’s one last thing I installed on your phone…!”

“Cool, what is it?” I asked, speaking loudly over the music.

“You see that yellow button?”

I pulled the phone away from my ear. Sure enough. There was an app on my phone that was labled ‘yellow’.

“Go to this phone’s ‘act’ menu and press it!!!” advised Alphys. The Burnt Pan was back in my hand. It was my turn again.

I made haste to press the yellow button. I felt a thrumming sensation as I pressed it, from both Mettaton and my phone. “Oh! That yellow glow…!” Mettaton cried, shielding himself from it as my phone started to shine.

I felt a tug in my soul, like a new power source was being hooked up, and a tingling in my fingers, my phone starting to throb as if it and my heart had connected. It didn’t hurt, it just felt… weird.

“Now press ‘Z’!!!” Alphys screamed.

I pressed the ‘Z’ button in the app. I felt a surge in my soul, racing up my arm and out through the phone. There was a burst of electricity which whipped out and hit Mettaton. The attack simply pinged off him, but he made a dramatic stagger, moaning in fake pain. “You’ve defeated me!!” he groaned, his voice becoming uninterested halfway through his speech. “How can this be, you were stronger than I thought, etc.” He moved off, muttering, “Whatever…”

The encounter ended and Mettaton was gone.

My phone rang again. I picked up, wishing that I didn’t have to talk anymore. I was out of friend juice.

“L-looks like you beat him!” Alphys stammered through the phone.

“Yeah, looks like!” I said, mustering up my pep.

“Y-you did a really great job out there.”

“Thanks,” I said, adding hastily as I remembered that oh yeah, THIS was the place where I was supposed to use that line: “But, you know, it was all thanks to you!”

“What?” Alphys exclaimed. “Oh no, I mean… You were the one doing everything cool!”

“That’s not true!” I cut in, finding a little bit of energy from breaking the system and giving some genuine complements. Of all the characters, the one who most needed bolstering was Alphys. This was the perfect opportunity to give her what she deserved. “You made this phone for me and all the gadgets and gizmos you put in here really helped! And who’s been guiding me all this time? You! You’re like some sort of… behind-the-scenes techno guy, like… what’s-his-name from James Bond!” I had never seen James Bond. But he had a tech guy, right? I felt like his name was a number. Eight? Nine? Something like that. Or Marty. A number or Marty. Probably neither.

“Oh, no no no…” Alphys sounded super embarrassed. “I just wrote some silly programs for your phone.”

“You made my phone turn into a JETPACK,” I annunciated.

Alphys giggled nervously. “Well… I might’ve… done a few things…”

“See?” I said.

The phone was silent for a second. I wondered if she was going to hang up. But then the good doctor spoke again. “…um, h-hey, this may sound strange, but… c-can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, sure,” I prompted in her ensuing pause.

“B-before I met you, I d-didn’t really… I didn’t really like myself all that much,” Alphys admitted. I made a sympathetic noise into the speaker. “For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn’t do a-anything without…” She took a shaky breath. “W-without letting everyone down.”

I clicked my tongue. “Hey,” I said. “Listen… I know being the Royal Scientist must mean that you have a lot of hopes riding on you… but I don’t think you’re a screw-up. And I’m sure a lot of other people think you’re not, either!”

Bad English, I know. But I hoped it came through as helpful.

“T-thanks…” Alphys made a little throat-clearing noise through the phone before continuing on a brighter note, “Uhhh, anyway, we’re almost to the core. It’s just past MTT Resort. Come on! Let’s finish this!”

“Yeah!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready for it!”

Actually no, I amended as soon as I stashed my cellphone. I wasn’t ready for it. I still wanted to take a break, maybe grab a glass of water, and have a chat with Sans before stashing up on items and heading for the core. Oh, and Nice Cream, although that seemed an unachievable dream. But even though I had low hopes for succulent sweetness, I smiled as I exited Mettaton’s ‘dungeon’ and Ronnie hove into view, his ice cream cart parked by the stairs of MTT Resort. “Hey, my dude!” I called, waving.

“Hey! It’s you again!” he responded, almost shining with happiness. “Business is excellent here! These two fellas bought ALL my ice cream!”

“I’m so happy for you!” I said, looking over at RG 01 and 02, who were happily looking at one another, Nice Creams in their hands. They still had helmets on. Were they even eating those? “So… do you happen to have one left for me?”

“Oh…” Ronnie looked guilty. “I’ve actually sold out of everything. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I shrugged, trying not to look too unhappy. After all, I WAS going to exit out of the heat any second now. I hoped the resort was cool inside. “You gotta make a business somehow.”

“Wait!” Ronnie exclaimed as I took a step away. “I’ve still got something for you!”

I stopped, surprised. “You do?”

“Yup! A big smile!” And the biggest smile I had ever seen set his eyes twinkling. “How about that!”

His smile was too contagious. I found myself grinning too. “Aw, dude. You’re supposed to be giving me something to cool me down, not to warm me up!”

Ronnie flushed a little bit under his fur. “Sorry.” He was still grinning, though.

“See you later?”

I regretted that word choice as soon as I said it. No, I wouldn’t really see him later. Or at least I didn’t want to let on that I’d be coming back OUT of the core once I had gone in. ‘See you around’ would have been a smoother, more lax way of saying ‘maybe see you again if we happen to cross paths’. Yeah. I should’ve gone with that. But Ronnie beamed, answering readily, “Yeah! See you later!” He didn’t seem to be overthinking the word choice.

“Bye, Ronnie!”

“Bye, human!”

I almost stopped and told him my name. But I didn’t. I kept walking up the stairs.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23

Sans was waiting for me at the entrance to MTT Resort, languidly staring into space as if he was waiting for me alone. I liked to think that his smile broadened just a tad as he noticed my approach.

“hey,” he greeted as I came up.

“Hey!” I responded.

“so, um, i heard you’re going to the core,” Sans said, jerking his head over his shoulder. “how about grabbing some dinner and having that chat with me first?”

“That would be—” I began, and then held up a waiting finger. “Mmm, actually wait a second. There’s a Save Point riiiight through the door. Lemme get that first.”

My brain did a backflip as it tried to convince me that Sans had no idea what I was talking about.

No, I told it sternly. I talked to Sans about this last night. He DOES know and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t bug me like this again!

My brain subsided and I waved my hand through the Save Point. The knowledge that Sans and I were FINALLY going to have a serious discussion about what the heck had happened to me filled me with Determination.

“Okay!” I marched back to Sans, feeling much better after my HP refill. “Now I’m ready.”

“great, thanks for treating me.”

Sans grinned as I groaned, “Aw, dude!”

He took a few steps toward the nearby alleyway, inviting, “over here. i know a shortcut.”

I followed. Everything faded to black and a second later I raised my hand to avoid running into a table. Sans stood on the other side, his persistent grin slightly cheeky as if he knew he had almost beached me on a piece of furniture when I was blind. Rude.

“well, here we are,” said Sans.

I took a second to survey my surroundings. The restaurant at MTT Resort was a swanky place, the walls painted a gentle purple, the tiled floor spotless, lights soft and dim. It was also highly air conditioned, which was a plus after such a searing venture. A candle flickered between the two of us, proudly erected in the center of the table, whose cloth was fashioned after Mettaton. A fleet of ficuses ranged across the back walls, along with decorative vines and tv screen showing various episodes from Mettaton’s shows. Music thrummed from above, low and sweet: ‘It’s Raining Somewhere.’

“It’s a nice place,” I remarked. My own smile turned cheeky. “You know how to show a girl a good time.”

Sans chuckled, but didn’t remark.

“Um…” I noticed that a certain lacking factor and waved a hand behind me. “Is there a possibility we could get some chairs?”

“oh, didn’t you know?” the skeleton asked. “this place is sheerly by reservation only. you have to reserve everything here, the table, the food, the candle…” He nodded to our table’s only ornament, flickering brightly. “seriously, kid. how big do you think my wallet is?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, disappointed. The last time I had sat down was at Undyne’s house this morning. This was a bigger blow than the Nice Cream.

“heh, i’m just kidding you. ‘course i reserved the chairs. you think a lazybones like me wants to stay standing around?” Sans clapped his hands together and the tiles behind me shifted, allowing a chair to rise from the ground and slide toward me. It knocked into the back of my legs and I toppled into its cushioned seat. There was no whoopie cushion there, thank goodness. I settled myself, pulling my sweater back on now that the air conditioning deemed it appropriate, and Sans propped his elbows up on the table, staring at me intently.

“so. um, sounds like you already know what i’d say here around this time,” Sans began. “don’t you?”

“Yeah.” I licked my lips. “You’d tell me about… you’d tell me the story about how you met T-- the lady behind the door. How the two of you told knock-knock jokes – by the way, the ‘dishes’ knock-knock joke? That one actually made me laugh. That was a good one – and how one day she was crying… and she made you promise that if a human ever came through the door, you’d watch over them. And protect them.”

“that about sums it up, yeah.” Sans leaned back in his seat, one arm draped languidly over the arm rest. “but i guess to you that’s all old news. now let me recap your story…” He closed his eyes, the picture of laid-back tranquility. “you’re from a different world where everything in our world is a videogame. you beat the game once, then ‘reset’,” he made air quotes inside his mittens (or ‘bunny ears’ as my family calls them) to annunciate his point, “to play the game over again. but something or other went haywire and you found yourself in the videogame, but still with the abilities of the player. you can ‘save’ and ‘reset’ and even die and come back to the last save point if you need to… but you can’t escape the game.” He opened his eyes again. “sound ‘bout right?”

“Yep,” I answered. “That’s… yeah.”

“all stuff we both knew before. now to focus on what we don’t know.”

I grinned. I liked to get analytical. And getting into a good brainstorming session with a buddy? Even better.

“you don’t know how you got here, yeah?”

“Nope.”

“you just tried to back out of resetting.”

An answer in the affirmative.

“hm, ok. so… why did you try to back out instead of just going through with the reset? what stopped you?”

I looked down. Of course he would ask this question. I tried to answer delicately, knowing that too frank an answer might be unwise. “Even though I knew… beforehand I thought I knew that it was all a game…” I paused, bit my lip, continued on, “part of me doubted.”

Sans nodded. “ok. so why did you try and reset in the first place?”

Again I scanned my brain for words. “There were multiple endings to the game… and I wanted to try for a different ending.”

“you said the ‘pacifist ending’ was the best one…” again with the bunny ears, “…was that the ending you got before?”

I gave a single tight, guilty nod. He could fill in the blanks from there. I looked up into his face to see what he might be feeling. He was looking away, his mask of a face not betraying any shift of countenance. His poise was still relaxed. “huh. that’s uh… that’s pretty mean of you, kiddo,” was all he said.

I groaned, leaning over and pressing my face into my hands. “I know, I know it sounds horrible, especially when I say it like that!”

“then why’d you try it?” His eyelights were upon me again and his grin was mocking. I felt my stomach shrivel up into a little raisin in my gut.

“I… I…” I scrambled for an answer. “I was curious, okay? I wanted to know if I was tough enough to go through with it. With everything. And if I could get through all the battles because there were some really tough ones in that route.”

You were one of them, I thought as Sans’s eyelights stared at my face. No, you were THE one. The only one I cared about. The final challenge. I felt like he could hear my thoughts. I felt like he already knew everything I kept hidden.

“But… I have no real excuse,” I added. “None. Except that I wanted to, and so I did. Or… tried to, anyway. And then I chickened out.”

The huff of an unheard laugh made Sans’s shoulders shake. “there’s nothing wrong about backing out of a mistake.”

“Although,” I said, putting my elbows on the table and moving on from the subject, “I still don’t know exactly… WHAT… this world is.” I attempted to explain myself. “Like, I don’t know if this all exists in my computer – if it’s just made up of MY game files and everybody who owns the game could… duplicate – replicate! – my experience? Or if there’s a whole world created by the existence of Undertale – the videogame Undertale – and how I was just somehow able to tap into it? And if so, is that true of all videogames or just this one? Only a certain type of game? Just a few? I dunno.”

“well… which one do you think it is?” Sans questioned.

“I honestly think that it’s just in my game files,” I answered. “Just in my computer. Because you all sound like I think you’re supposed to.” My arm movements became more animated as I explained. “Like, in the original game, there are subtitles that ‘speak’ for the characters. There’s no voice acting or anything like that, it just makes little ‘huhuhuhuhuh’ noises while the letters appear onscreen and you kind of make up voices as you go along. And I went into the fandom later and my idea for the voices are NOT what other people came up with.”

“’huhuhuhuhuh’, huh?” Sans raised a brow bone, apparently amused.

“Not just that sound.” I grinned, embarrassed. “It varied depending on who was talking.”

“k. so whose sound was that?”

“Uh, yours, actually. When you did that mimicking thing you sounded almost exactly like the game makes you sound.”

“huh.” Sans nodded to himself, still looking a little entertained. But that look faded as he went back to business. “so, you don’t know exactly how you got in here… do you even have an idea of how you’re going to get out?”

“I think I just have to make it to the end of the game,” I said. At least of that I was confident. “That’s usually how these kinds of things work.”

“’these kinds of things’?” Sans quirked his brow again. “you mean you know other people who have a habit of jumping in and out of games?”

“No,” I clarified. “I mean, in stories where it happens. Like Jumanji, or Tron… well, technically Tron was just a game world and not a specific game, but… yeah, like Jumanji. The remake, not the original.” The original was a board game, I mentally added to myself.

“what if you’re wrong?” Sans played with the tablecloth, obviously not wanting to hear my answer. “or what if you can only get out from a different ending?”

I thought about this for a moment, but for a moment only. “Then I guess I’m staying here a little longer than I thought. I’m not resetting, and I’m not trying for a different ending just to get myself home. If it doesn’t work this way… then there must be something beyond the ending. You’re smart, Doctor Alphys is smart. I’m… kinda knowledgeable? Between the three of us we should be able to cook up something. And that’s assuming that it doesn’t go the way I think it is, and I’m pretty sure I just need to finish the game to get home.”

Sans met my eyes again. The new look he wore wasn’t expressly believing, but it wasn’t distrusting either. “ok.” It was a placeholder word, like the ‘ok’ stickynotes he posted all over the wall when Papyrus told him to pick up his sock. An affirmative that he understood what I was saying, not a compliance or an agreement. He turned aside and looked at the wall in a fashion that I could picture being represented in his pixel form by that dramatic twist thing. “so, uh…” he started up after a moment of silence. “you gonna tell me how this ‘pacifist ending’ of yours is going to turn out?”

I grinned, but shook my head. “I’d better not. I want to, but… I’d better not. Spoilers.”

Sans grinned back, and it looked natural this time. In a second’s notice he was back to being plain old apathetic fun-loving Sans, lazy and relaxed. “this whole world jumping thing must be really weird for you, huh? anythin’ give you massive culture shock yet?”

“Oh!” my eyes lit up and I leaned forward. Now we had come to the questionnaire portion of the chat. “I’ve been wanting to ask, but I didn’t know how to without sounding weird! What is up with all the music?” I pointed a finger at the ceiling as if it was from there the music hearkened. “Seriously? Like, I get it from a videogame standpoint. Since you’re in a videogame – or from my own end you were from a videogame – it made sense. But while I’m IN YOUR WORLD… is there a logical explanation of any kind?”

“music?” Sans cocked his head. “you’re hearin’ music, kid?”

I faltered. Was I the only one who…?

“ah, i’m just kidding you, buddo.”

I winced at the term ‘buddo’. What a weird phrase. Plus, Toriel had already confirmed that there was music outside of my own imagination. Drat you, Sans.

“though, i’m not sure how much of a technical explanation i can give you other than… there’s music. nobody’s really sure whether it’s a monster, or a conscious entity, or somethin’ else entirely. but if you live long enough there’s a track that becomes ‘yours’ and it adapts as you grow. there’s some that you can find in a specific place, and if you hang around that place long enough either you rub off on it or it rubs off on you.” He shrugged, palms parallel to the ceiling.

“Like…” I hummed along to ‘It’s Raining Somewhere’. “How that’s part of your song?”

“my song?” Sans looked amused. He shrugged again. “sure. I guess you could say that.”

“Do you know the songs’ names?” I asked eagerly.

“well, since they pretty much blend into each other and change with the seasons sometimes, ‘m not actually sure if they have names.” Sans peered at the ceiling, then back down at me. “do they have names on your end?”

“Yeah! Although I don’t know most of them.” I thought about it. “Ooh! Papyrus’s theme song is called ‘Bonetrousle’!”

“bonetrousle?” Sans suddenly looked giddy. He let out a hearty laugh and pinched the bridge of his nose – the only part of the nose he had – between his fingers. “oh man! he’d love that!”

I was happy to see him so pleased. As someone who didn’t appreciate his bad jokes and who tormented him just by existing sometimes, it was nice to give him some happiness, if only a little bit. I pressed onward. “He’s pretty popular on my side, too. Both of you are, actually!”

“both of us?” Sans looked at me skeptically. “c’mon, kid. what kind of weirdo would pick me out of the bunch?”

“A lot of weirdos,” I answered. A laugh creased the sides of my mouth. “A LOT a lot of weirdos.”

Sans subsided. “well, i wish more of those weirdos were on our side so they could tell my bro how cool he is. he tries really hard, he deserves some recognition.”

“He gets it,” I assured. “Just not in this world.”

“hmm.” Sans’s eyelights flicked down to the table, then back up. “any more questions?”

“Um…” I scoured my brain. “Yeah. When I die… do you remember anything of that? The previous timelines before I come back?”

Sans looked uneasy again. “um. not really. sometimes i can tell by your face, or i have a feeling that i just missed something, but… no. i don’t think any of us really do.”

I didn’t know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

“however, that does lead me to my own question…” All of Sans’s previous joviality fled completely. “those feelings… that déjà vu that i feel whenever your soul shatters… it’s been happening long before you fell down here. kid, mind shedding a little light on that subject?”

Ah. Of course he would ask about that. I tiptoed around the issue. He couldn’t know everything. If he decided to intervene – which I doubted he would, but still it was better safe than sorry – it could ruin everything and I’d have to reset. So I carefully chose my words. “Somebody had that power before me,” I told him. “Somebody who reset many times and played with timelines and everything before I arrived.”

“will they get that power back once you leave?”

“I… don’t think so?” I probed my memory, finally settling upon Flowey’s final message after the Pacifist Ending, where he begged me to let Frisk and the others live their lives on the surface in peace. “No, I don’t think so,” I answered with more certainty. “I think that the power to Reset still lies with me because I’m the player even after I leave. Because I can still go into the game and press the button again. I won’t!” I hastened to add, “But I don’t think both of us would have that power.”

Sans shrugged. “that’s fair. any more questions?”

I clicked my tongue. “Drat it, I was trying to think of more earlier…” Back in Hotland after I passed him selling hotdogs… after the Pyrope… picking up the apron… that’s it! “That’s right!” I cried, digging both hands into my apron. “Clothing. For some reason clothing gives me defense, but not all clothing. Just some clothing. So this apron counts as ‘armor’, but my shirt doesn’t. And I’m just a tiny bit confused about all that.”

“oh, that’s an easy one. clothing starts to count as armor based on the amount of sentimentality attached to it. for example, that apron you’re wearing… it was used a lot. probably was somebody’s favorite article. so the def stats would be high. for monsters, our attacks are gauged by the desire to hurt behind each strike. if the armor has some kind of thought or feeling behind it, it cancels out the hurtful strike somewhat. a simple shirt or pair of pants doesn’t work that way, though, because, um… as much as you can get attached to a good pair of trousers, they really don’t have a leg to stand on.” He winked. I rolled my eyes.

“So, does it work the same for monsters? Can they wear armor like humans?”

“sure. ‘course, for people like undyne they also cover themselves with physical armor to help protect them from physical attacks. also doesn’t hurt the self-confidence levels, either. so… uh… my brother’s ‘battle body’ doesn’t grant him any sort of defense, but he holds some sentiment to his scarf and gloves, which makes them the strongest armor he has.”

“Huh,” I said. I wanted to ask about his hoodie and if that gave him some defense, but decided against it.

“same’s true for weapons,” Sans added. “anything can be used as a weapon, but since it’s the thought that counts, if the weapon was used as a weapon before, or is thought of as a weapon, it’ll hit harder than usual.”

“That makes a lot of sense, actually,” I said, thinking it all through. “Hm. Neat.”

“any more questions?”

“Um… no, I think that was all I had,” I said, running through my brain one last time. “How about you?”

“none that i can think of.” Sans pushed back his chair and stood up. The chair collapsed beneath the tiles. “so i guess that’s all.”

I remained sitting for a while longer, but I gave him a smile. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“take care of yourself, kid,” Sans said, moving to stand by the back wall and shooting a smile at me over his shoulder. “’cause, like i would’ve mentioned before… someone really cares about you.”

“You too,” I said, then realized how multi-layered that sounded. “There are more universes out there than you might once have thought. You’re important to a lot of people out there.”

Sans didn’t respond. He barely looked at me. His expression was hard to gauge, but it wasn’t a happy one. He paused before he left, but left he did. I blinked an eye and he was gone, disappeared through one of his shortcuts. I took a deep breath as I rose from my seat. Like he would’ve said… the end of my journey was near at hand.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24

I didn’t like Burgerpants as much as Ronnie. It was through no fault of his own – Ronnie and Burgerpants were completely different monsters – but I found the former’s inherent charm to be much more pleasing than the latter’s bold gloom.

Burgerpants held the vibe of someone who was not good at customer service forced to be a retail worker. I had seen it time and time again. As a retail worker myself, I could wholly understand his pleading eyes and forced smile as he asked me what I wanted off the menu. He was stuck in survival mode, when you just wanted to get to the end of the shift and go home to crash. No energy left. After it became clear that I wanted to talk before food, he winced and muttered in a very low voice that I had to buy something first. His thanks for me purchasing a Starfait was robotic, which was ironic, considering who he worked for.

“So, now will you talk to me?” I asked.

The cat monster shook slightly, his charade of ‘good little worker’ breaking beneath enormous internal pressure as he wondered how loose he could/should be with me. But he must have decided that orders be darned because he suddenly burst out: “So I wanted to be an actor—”

He was much more relaxed after that – like an employee who was allowed to vent in the break room. He even pulled out a cigarette and began puffing, which I’m sure was against several health regulations, but I didn’t say anything. I listened generously to his advice while he spewed his wisdom to the heavens, his face stretching and contorting with each sentence. This guy… if he ever got on the internet once we left he would become a walking meme.

“So, what is your actual name?” I asked after he related his sad story of why exactly he was called ‘Burgerpants’.

“Oh, um…” he patted himself down. “I have my name tag around here… somewhere…” He dove behind the counter. “Maybe I dropped it. Or left it by the skillet. Oh man, he’s gonna kill me!” His expression of panic changed to one of somber resignation and he waved me forward. “Listen little buddy, would you do me a favor and not mention this to anyone?”

“Sure,” I said, brows creased. “So… w—can’t you just tell me your name?”

“Come back later,” suggested the cat monster. “Like… MUCH later, and I’ll find that name tag for you. Until then…” and here he stuck the cigarette back in his mouth and hit me with a squinty-eyed expression that I supposed he thought intriguing, “consider me a man of mystery.”

“Okay,” I shrugged. “But you know that only leaves me to call you Burgerpants until then.”

He forced a painful laugh. “No worries. Everyone already does…”

I bid my farewell after buying several more Starfaits. After the purchase of each one Burgerpants bit out the sentence, “Thanks! Have a Sparkular day,” wincing as if the words singed his tongue. I told him I’d probably be back for more later, considering what I was getting myself into. He gave me a genuine half-smile as I waved and walked away.

The Core loomed above me as I stepped out of MTT Resort. A bridge connected the two, smoothly melding the flashy, glamorous hotel into the streamlined, technological wonderland of the Core. The air conditioning faded and I considered taking off my sweater, but hey, I’d be in the Core soon. I could stand a little extra heat.

As I exited the building, I caught a glimpse of two shadowy figures walking ahead of me, disappearing into the doorway leading into the Core. Normally I wouldn’t have given them any heed – monsters were all around me and maybe it’d be one of the workers, who was I to judge? – but they seemed excessively shifty, looking back at me and putting their heads together to whisper before they faded into the blackness beyond the doorway. I quirked an eyebrow, but my phone ringing distracted me from any coherent thought I might have had.

“Huh? Who are they?” Alphys’s voice issued from the receiver.

“I do not know,” I said, reluctant to move from the doorway. There was still a little air conditioning here if you stood in the right spot. I squinted at the retreating figures.

“N-nobody else is s-supposed to be here…”

“Workers?” I suggested. “The maintenance team?”

“N-no, it couldn’t be…” Alphys deferred. “They’re all on break this time of day. Oh well!” Her tone changed to one of resolve. “We can’t worry about that now!”

I pictured her nodding resolutely as she hung up. I shrugged to myself. “Okay.” And I ran at a brisk trot over the bridge into the slightly-cooler depths of the Core.

Spoiler alert: the shadowy figures were bad guys. And there weren’t just two of them. Well, maybe at the beginning there were, but later on there were more. And more. And even MORE. Madjicks, Knight Knights, Astigmatisms, Final Froggits, and Whimsalots seemed hell-bent on blocking my path whichever way I turned.

If this seems overdramatic, yeah. I am. But trust me when I say these guys deserve a little drama. They hit HARD. And they gang up on you like nobody’s business.

If the enemies were the only things to fear, I wouldn’t have had so hard a time, but Alphys’s map was wrong. Her bumbling efforts to guide me only led into more confusion and after some time passed she hung up altogether and left me to find my own way. I’m pretty sure I triggered every monster in the area as I wandered around, lost as a penguin at the north pole. Yeah, I had seen it in the game, but like I’ve said time and time again, it’s sooo much more difficult in 3D than in from a top-down perspective!!!

I was killed a few times because I tried to conserve my items for the Mettaton fight, getting re-lost each time I died. I do not have a good sense of direction at the best of times, so this twisting labyrinthine sci-fi nightmare had me spinning around in circles. Each time I had to re-load I ended up finding a different secret alcove, this time with a burger, that time with some money, oops, died again, and then FINALLY back on track for where I needed to go.

I let out a big breath of relief when I recognized the gaudy doorway leading to Mettaton’s auditorium, glancing down at my phone to see if Alphys wanted to give me another ring. No? Okay. Pop back downstairs using the elevator to get some more edibles. Back upstairs. Save Point. Another big breath. Plunge right in.

Mettaton was waiting for me in the center of the room, casually blocking the opposite doorway with his form. The area around the walls were open, a sheer drop stretching downwards to the depths below. I made a point not to look too far down, since there were no handrails. Only a strip of light, presumably to be a guide for where the walkway ended and abyss began, marked where safety was no more.

“Oh yes,” Mettaton drawled, propping an arm against his own metal side, “There you are, darling. It’s time to have our little showdown.”

“Is it now?” I asked, stepping forward and marking the position of all the cameras facing our direction.

“Let me finish.” Mettaton held up a waiting hand, gave a robotic cough, and continued his soliloquy. “It’s time to have our little showdown. It’s time to finally stop the ‘malfunctioning’ robot… NOT!!!” If he had a mouth, he would’ve been grinning. As it was, smug triumph radiated from his rectangular form. “Malfunction? Reprogramming? Get real. This was all just a big show. An act. Alphys has been playing you for a fool the whole time. As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She reactivated puzzles. She disabled elevators. She enlisted me to torment you. All so she could save you from dangers that didn’t exist. All so you would think she’s the great person… that she’s not.”

The first time I had played, I thought he was lying. I had been SURE he was lying. Who was I to believe a cake-baking robot over a tragic little lizard who to all appearances just wanted to help? But when watching another person play, it became obvious. Mettaton was telling the truth. But since I was supposedly hearing this information for the first time right now, I made a point of creasing my brows, looking down at the ground as if pondering this new information, mouth slack. Mettaton saw my reaction and his smugness increased.

“And now,” he continued, “it’s time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside this room. During our ‘battle’, she will interrupt. She will pretend to ‘deactivate’ me, ‘saving’ you one final time.” With the amount of bunny ears he was using, one would think they were multiplying like rabbits! “Finally. She’ll be the heroine of your adventure. You’ll regard her so highly she’ll even be able to convince you not to leave…” He paused dramatically, holding a finger up to his processer. “Or not. You see, I’ve had enough of this predictable charade. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually. My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don’t they? And what’s a good show… without a plot twist?”

He clapped his hands and suddenly the doors before and behind me slammed shut, cutting off every exit. The door behind me rattled as hands thumped desperately at the door. “H-hey!!!” It was Alphys’s voice. Her stutter was pronounced through her terror. “Wh-wh-what’s going on!? Th-th-the door just locked itself!”

“Alphys…” I called urgently, still keeping my eyes trained on the robot.

“Sorry, folks!” sneered Mettaton. “The old program’s been cancelled!!! But we’ve got a finale that will drive you wild!!”

The floor began to light up, bright red circles forming that reminded me of Undyne’s nasty spear attack. The strips around the edges flared red. Then suddenly, without warning, the ground sank an inch into the ground, giving me instant vertigo. With even less warning, we began to rocket up into the air, shining strips on the walls flashing in a downward motion making it seem as if we were traveling far faster than we were. “Real drama!!” crowed Mettaton. “Real action!! Real bloodshed!! On our new show… ‘Attack of the Killer Robot’!”

Bloodshed? I repeated to myself, trying to keep my balance.

And then I was in an Encounter. My phone chirped, pulling my soul into its original yellow mode as I touched it. Mettaton rolled a little on his single wheel, talking irritatingly about how killing me himself would be so much better than hiring other people to do it for him. Maybe it was all part of the show, maybe it wasn’t. I didn’t care much. I grit my teeth and pressed the yellow button on my phone, firing yellow bursts that pinged harmlessly off him, just like last time.

“That worthless peashooter won’t work on me, darling.” Mettaton seemed to be rolling his non-existent eyes. “Don’t you understand what acting is!?”

I clicked my tongue, sparing for this turn.

Mettaton let out a robotic sigh. “Listen, darling. I’ve seen you fight. You’re weak. If you continue, Asgore will take your soul. And with your soul, Asgore will destroy humanity.”

I scowled. Just because I refused to fight didn’t make me weak. A rain of white box-shaped attacks came from above. I took out my irritation on them by blasting them with my yellow soul power. It felt good to actually strike back for once.

“But if I get your soul, I can stop Asgore’s plan!” Mettaton reared like a confident businessman proposing a bold new idea, looking straight at the cameras. Or at least I thought he was. It was hard to tell since he didn’t have any eyes. “I can save humanity from destruction!”

A slightly different attack this time. White attacks that came at you faster if you DID hit them came at me from the side. I hit the boxes and zipped around them instead. Then hit the yellow box to deactivate the rest of the attack.

“Then using your soul, I’ll cross through the barrier… and become the star I’ve always dreamed of being! Hundreds, thousands… no! Millions of humans will watch me!”

More of those speedy attacks with yellow boxes in them, and one bomb that I avoided hitting.

“Glitz! Glamour! I’ll finally have it all! So what if a few people have to die? That’s show business, baby!”

Seemed like a selfish plan to me. I mean, I got the jist and everything, but it seemed like a lonely life to live – the only monster on the surface, even while being overwhelmed with popularity. I was going to point this out, but then my phone rang. Since it was already in my hand, I answered it.

“U… uh… I can’t see what’s going on in there, but…” Alphys gulped. “D-d-don’t give up, okay!?”

“Okay, what do I do?” I shouted into the phone over the music. I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling now that she really did have to be the hero and the stakes were high.

“Th… there’s o-one l-l-last way to beat Mettaton…”

“Okay, cool. Let’s hear it.”

“It’s… um… it’s…”

“Yeah?” I was feeling a little pressured for time. After all, Mettaton WAS waiting on his turn.

“This is a work-in-progress, so don’t judge it too hard…”

“Okay, noted. What is it?”

“But, you know how Mettaton always faces f-f-forward?”

“Yyyyyeah?” I scoured my memory. Actually, come to think of it, he HAD always faced forward!

“That’s because there’s a switch on his backside. S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around… um…”

“I can get him?”

“W-w-well, you’d h-h-have to press th-th-th-the switch… but then, yes. He’ll be… um… he’ll be…”

“Vulnerable?” I finished. Oh, wait. Probably shouldn’t be finishing the characters’ lines for them. Whoops.

“Y-y-yeah. Exactly. Well, g-g-gotta go!”

“Bye! Thank you!” I called as she hung up.

How did I turn him around in the game? For a moment I couldn’t remember. Something about… a mirror? I winced, even to myself. I wanted him to go out in a better way than that! But hey, sometimes you gotta be a little undignified to get some views. Show business, baby. How do you like it being played on you, Mettaton? Huh? How do you like it now?

“Hey, Mettaton?” I called, pointing directly behind him. “There’s a mirror behind you!”

“Oh???” Mettaton seemed dramatically excited. “A mirror??? Right, I have to look perfect for our grand finale!”

He spun around, displaying an enormous switch on his back creatively labeled ‘Switch’. He scanned the surroundings. “Hm… I don’t see it… where is it…?”

I darted forward, holding onto the switch with both hands and yanking it all the way to the right. There was a cheerful-sounding beep as it shifted into place and Mettaton froze on the spot.

“Did you.” he demanded in a deceptively calm voice. “Just flip. My switch?”

I sucked in a breath. “Yes.”

Mettaton began to shake, revolving so that once again he was looking at me. All his buttons flashed, his dials spun, and he held his hands against his head as if he was being rent apart. A blinding white light filled the room and I closed my eyes tightly. Everything faded to darkness again and I could hear him say, with a voice modulator that filled the entire space with reverberations, “Ohh yes…”

I opened my eyes as wide as they could go, but I still could see nothing. Only vague, shifting shapes could be seen after that brilliant flash. A few figures. But even though I could see nothing, I felt like I was in the middle of a scene change. I could spot a camera out of the corner of my vision as long as I didn’t try and look straight at it. Lights up above. I saw them a moment before they turned on, illuminating a cloud of mist that rolled toward me, swamping my feet. In the middle of the mist was a figure, tall and shapely. The voice came from it.

Yup. Scene change.

“Ohhh my,” Mettaton’s revamped voice rolled languidly. I felt immediate red alerts go off in my brain. “If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing.”

I thought tacos would come out? I thought it would deactivate you instantly? I thought it would awaken me from this crazy dream of an existence that I have been living for the past two days? A million excuses piled into my brain. My coping mechanism at its finest, everybody.

“You’re desperate for the premiere of my new body.”

The only things I was desperate for at the moment were getting outta here without a fight, since this promised to be a doozy, or – that failing – come up with some clever quip that would make me feel better about myself. But sure, yeah, new body. While I’m here let’s see it.

“How rude…” he teased coquettishly. “Lucky for you, I’ve been aching to show this off for a long time. So… as thanks, I’ll give you a handsome reward. I’ll make your last living moments…”

Another bright flash.

“ABSOLUTELY beautiful!”

Mettaton Ex stood before me in all his glory – all six foot eight of him. Honestly, he was a lot taller than I expected. But that was beside the point. I have to admit – he was glorious. A marvel of engineering, spotless and shiny, black hair flipped nonchalantly over one eye, high-platformed boots chiseled to pointed perfection, a perfect heart shape carved into his belt. Gone were the switches and buttons. A single dial was set on one side of his chest, a speaker on the opposite side. His face was sleek and smooth like metal, but incredibly flexible. As I watched, his smile deepened and I could see the glimpse of a silver tongue behind his silver teeth. After guaranteeing that I had gotten a good look at him, Mettaton gave a nod to the crew standing by. Music began to beat, and the robot began to dance.

There had indeed been a scene change. The ‘stage’ had sunk back into place, but the walls around us had opened up. Behind where they had been were scores upon scores of monsters, crammed into their places, whooping as if they were at a concert. Several large screens lowered out of the ceiling, some of them portraying Mettaton, one of them fixed on my dazed, gawping face (not my finest moment, btw), and one to the side displaying the ratings.

Thus began the strangest boss battle to date. As weird as it had been to flex with Aaron, which had been held the charts as my strangest encounter so far, this was weirder. Faced with a prancing robot with a live audience and cameras trained on my every move, bright lights flashing from every single direction (J.J. Abrams would have an absolute field day with all the lens flares), and music thrumming from the speakers all around. Death by Glamour indeed.

What were my options? Everything was so overwhelming. I had to wait until the ghostly lettering faded in to give me some options before I could decide. The ratings steadily ticked down.

Pose.

I struck a grin, letting the music fill my soul and unlock the hammiest camera-loving part of myself, and raised my arms, twisting my shoulders and smiling, capturing the attention of the audience. Mettaton gave me a wry grimace as the crowd cheered. “Lights!” he shouted. “Camera! Action!”

From above his first magical attack came – a pair of legs, the toes pointing at each other, descending from the ceiling, drifting forward to tap each other with every other beat. When I shot them with my Soul Power, they stopped moving and I shot upward to get out of there before I got crushed. Unlike in the game, I was able to shoot with my Soul Power in any direction I wanted, which was handy, especially since the attacks didn’t necessarily come from the direction I expected them to. For instance, if in the game it showed attacks coming from the top of the box, that meant it could either come from above or straight ahead. Or behind, depending on where I was facing. But thankfully never from below.

In case you are wondering, since I didn’t have a keyboard for the pop quiz, a shiny holographic one shimmered in front of me and I pressed the keys to answer the question: What was the thing I liked most about Mettaton? I learned that ‘your legs’ got me the most points.

During this battle, I conjured up my most overdramatic side for the camera, dancing to the music – Death by Glamor was one of my favorite tracks! – and posing in between attacks when I didn’t have to chug Starfaits or Glamburgers, which was often. Mettaton hit HARD. He obviously didn’t care how much pain it caused me as long as he got his views, and the violence stimulated the audience.

I died quite a few times, and whenever I revived I took a moment or so to take a deep breath away from the blinding lights and roaring noise. Some time to collect my thoughts. There was no time to think while I was fighting, but when everything was quiet in between bouts, my thoughts returned and my brain filled to the brim with questions.

I couldn’t help but wonder if any of my friends were out in the crowd. Sans? Papyrus? Undyne? Shyren? Ronnie? Napstablook? I couldn’t tell. It just looked like a dark sea of motion out there to me. If not, were they watching on tv? And if they were, were they cheering for me? Were they laughing and clapping with the rest of them whenever I got kicked? Was Undyne suplexing the nearest bystander in rage when I missed an easy shot or didn’t move aside quickly enough, screaming at me to try harder? Was Shyren singing along to the music? Was Ronnie wishing he could give me another Nice Cream to give me more HP? Was Papyrus wishing he could be me right now?

What happened to them when I died, before I reloaded? I wondered if a cheer went up from the crowd, or whether they sat in stunned silence. I wanted to think that at least some of them were stunned. I wanted to think that Undyne’s jaw dropped and she froze mid-gesture, and that Papyrus stopped in the middle of a joyful shout, giving a double-take to what had just happened. Maybe Sans’s eyelights went out and he started to tremble as he waited for the next reload to come. Did Ronnie go along with the crowd and shout with pleasure or did he mourn that his first customer was dead?

With these thoughts, I hastened to come back once my soul shattered. I didn’t want them to feel sad for any amount of time, even if they didn’t remember it later. I would take my resting time in the living world, not leave them to mourn. So, each time I reloaded, I took a moment to myself before marching back in, telling Mettaton that there was a mirror behind him to flip him around, and begin to dance anew as we fought again.

Although, if I was being honest, in between the dying and the gruesome thoughts, I was actually enjoying myself. Like I mentioned, Death by Glamor was one of my favorites, and being able to completely goof off in front of a camera with little to no consequence (at least until I stopped dying) was… fun. Posing, hearing the roar of the crowds, smiling and twirling, and trying to figure out what to do to make the ratings go up all brought a little joy into my heart. I wondered if Mettaton was feeling the same way – if he was enjoying himself with his fancy dance moves or if he just hated the thought of some young upstart trying to steal the show. It would be great if we were both enjoying ourselves. But then again, it would also be nice if he felt a little pain for what he was making me go through. Just a little.

The shimmering heart in his belt came alive at intervals, flying towards me with a sound like bottled electricity. I shot it relentlessly.

I died two times before there was a snapping sound and both Mettaton’s arms fell to the ground. He winced, but proclaimed, “A… arms? Who needs arms with legs like these!” and commenced his dancing with renewed fervor, his smile wider and more dazzling than ever. The crowd loved it.

But after some time his bottled catchphrases such as “Drama! Action!” began to fade. His smile seemed to become more and more false. “Enough of this!” he finally snapped. “Do you really want humanity to perish!?”

I couldn’t talk over the music. Everything was too loud and bright.

“…Or do you really believe in yourself that much?” He was looking down his nose at me. I gritted my teeth and plowed on through his next attack.

Mettaton scoffed, “Haha, how inspiring! Well, darling! It’s either me or you! But I think we both already know who’s going to win. Witness the true power of humanity’s star!”

I died three more times before there was another crack and both of his legs shattered out from under him. A gasp rang out from the crowd. Mettaton looked the most shocked of all. The music blared on, as relentless in his shortcomings as it had been in mine.

“…then…” the robot murmured, looking from the scattered remains of his broken parts back at me with a new look in his eye. “Are YOU the star? Can you really protect humanity!?”

I couldn’t even respond to that, even if the music wasn’t overpowering. However, I did feel a new stab at my heart as I was the only one who danced around the stage, the incapacitated robot motionless in front of me, smoke pouring out of each of his limbless stumps. His smile was gone. It only brightened when the ratings board shone with the numbers 10117. Over ten thousand viewers.

It was over.

“Ooh, look these ratings!!!” Mettaton exclaimed, reclaiming his previous perky disposition and once again stealing the spotlight. The music ebbed (finally) and I could hear myself think. “This is the most viewers I’ve ever had!!! We’ve reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me… before I leave the underground forever!!!”

A roar of approval burst from the crowd.

“Let’s see who calls in first!”

There was a ringing sound, then a click. Mettaton gave a dazzling smile in a random direction. His broken form, beautifully erect and shining with glitz, was displayed on the largest monitor. “Hi, you’re on tv!” Mettaton announced to the caller. “What do you have to say on this, our last show???”

A new voice, tinny through the speakers, but an old voice to me. “oh…… hi… mettaton…”

Napstablook.

I looked at Mettaton’s face to see if he recognized the voice like I did. His smile was gone again, replaced with an indecipherable expression. His eyes flicked back and forth as if reading something. He seemed no longer aware of anything else – the crowds, the lights… or me. I came to stand beside him. He was almost as tall as me with legs gone. He still didn’t acknowledge my presence.

“i really liked watching your show…” Napstablook said, voice slow and tentative as always. “my life is pretty boring… but… seeing you on the screen… brought excitement to my life… vicariously.” He paused. Mettaton leaned forward just the smallest bit as if searching. “i can’t tell, but… i guess this is the last episode…? i’ll miss you… mettaton…”

Mettaton’s face crumpled at last, his metal face caving in like tinfoil as his grief and guilt swallowed him. He didn’t even try to hide his face from the cameras. Just sat there like his heart was breaking.

“…oh… i didn’t mean to talk so long…” Napstablook apologized. “oh……..”

The robot snapped upright, craning forward. “No, wait!” he cried. “Wait, Bl—"

There was a click as the transmission cut out. Mettaton looked at me then, but it was a helpless gesture, pitiful desperation in his eyes. “H… They already hung up.”

For a moment only he allowed us to see his heart-crunching sorrow before flinging it away. He screwed up his determination and projected another smile. “I’ll take another caller!” he declared.

Waves of calls flooded in, each one proclaiming their love for Mettaton. None begged him to stay, but all stated their enjoyment of his shows and how sorry they would be to have him leave. Mettaton’s look then? Well, it was of someone who had just realized their worth. It was the look of George Bailey in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ when his friends poured in through the doors, demonstrating in their gifts just how much he had done for them. It was the look of someone who had just been shown not only the fruit of their labor, but how he had also gained the love of those laboring beside him. It touched him more than I can know.

But now came the big call: let this love remain a memory, or continue to accept it. His face nearly crumpled again as he considered this. I could almost hear the cogs in his head whirring. I could smell smoke, but I didn’t think it was from thinking.

The interest I felt for the scene unfolding before me was overshadowed by sudden jealousy. Ten thousand fans looking at him. Ten thousand loving him. Wishing that he wouldn’t leave them. I wished that I had ten thousand that dedicated. Heck, I wished I had one hundred that dedicated! Then at least I could get monetized on Youtube instead of this money-pit of a hobby I had made for myself. There were videos on my channel that had a singular golden view. I hadn’t even scrounged up twenty subscribers in my year and a half of dedication. Why didn’t I have this? It wasn’t from lack of trying.

“Everyone… thank you so much,” Mettaton said. That was all he could say to them. It was all he needed to say. He turned to me and my jealousy was swallowed up in shame. No. He earned this. He deserved this. Look at him. He was happy. The least I could do was be happy with him.

“Darling,” he said, and his smile was genuine this time, “Perhaps… it might be better if I stay here for a while. Humans already have stars and idols, but monsters…”

He cast his eyes over the gathering and I could tell that for maybe the first time he wasn’t seeing cameras and numbers and views. He was seeing THEM.

“…They only have me. If I left… the underground would lose its spark. I’d leave an aching void that could never be filled.”

From the expression on his face, I could tell that he was speaking from experience about an aching void. I tightened my lips, nodding slightly. I felt that which he left unsaid.

“So… I think I’ll have to delay my big debut. Besides,” he added. “You’ve proven to be very strong. Perhaps… even strong enough to get past Asgore. I’m sure you’ll be able to protect humanity.”

He inclined the tip of his shoulder spike as if in semblance of a handshake. I rested my hand on his shoulder, allowing a trickle of warmth to thaw my bitter heart. He believed in me. As much as I might want ten thousand viewers sometimes I just needed to remind myself: I had a few who believed in me. That could be enough.

Mettaton gave a broken laugh. “It’s all for the best, anyway.” His shoulder drooped and I took my hand back. “The truth is, this form’s energy consumption is… inefficient. In a few moments, I’ll run out of battery power, and… well. I’ll be alright.” He gave a sliver of that dashing smile, which grew into a full crescent as he said, “Knock ‘em dead, darling.”

I grinned and nodded my head. “I will,” I vowed.

“And everyone…” Mettaton looked around. I didn’t think there was a dry eye in the house. “…Thank you. You’ve been a great audience!”

Then there was bright, blinding white light as his energy ran out, filling the room…

Wait…

No. No, it wasn’t a blinding light.

It was an explosion.

The colors faded back in from the Encounter as the acrid taste smell of smoke filled the room. Mettaton had staged his final huzzah here in a room with no audience and the cameras were already going dead. The shrapnel of his form looked like garbage found at a dump. Some pieces were fizzing away into dust. I felt a tingle in the hands that wielded a pan that had taken him down in a single hit.

But this was nothing. HE was nothing. The rush of newly gained HP as the counter’s new maximum filled was only the beginning of the end. I could feel a tremble of excitement building as the thought ricocheted:

One more. Just one more left.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25

“I… I managed to open the lock!”

Alphys’s triumphant voice yanked me out of my nightmare. Was it a nightmare? Was this reality? I trembled. The feeling of flushed satisfaction still sat in my belly, which churned in contradiction to what it just witnessed. Or did it churn out of anticipation?

“Are you two…” Alphys stopped. Her hands flew to her mouth and she rushed to Mettaton’s side. “Oh my god. Mettaton! Mettaton, are you…”

What was she going to do? What was she going to say to me once she found out that I killed him with a single blow?

No, no. That wasn’t me. That was… no. That didn’t happen. Mettaton was here, dismantled but otherwise intact. He would be fine.

What WAS that??? That was stronger than any of the other visions. It felt like I was THERE. I had thought I WAS there.

“…Thank GOD it’s just the batteries,” Alphys said out loud. She reprimanded the lifeless robot with a hitch in her throat, “Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have… I would have…”

She suddenly became aware that the cameras were still trained on the stage and she began to sweat. “I m-mean, h-hey, it’s n-no problem, you know?” she stuttered. “He’s just a robot, if you messed it up, I c-could always… j-just build another.”

“He’s gonna be okay?” I prompted, trying to shove my unsavory thoughts out the window.

“S-sure he is!” Alphys nodded several times very quickly. Too many times, too quickly. She lay a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you go on ahead?”

I nodded and began to walk down the corridor and—

--And suddenly I was walking with purpose, feet ringing on the floor with every step. No running. Move steadily forward even though every footstep screamed to go faster. Every pump of the heart, every breath was filled with Determination. A piece of the robot crunched underfoot. No matter. The beat of each footfall annunciated the thought:

Just one more. Just one more. Just one more. Just one more.

I stumbled and intentionally whirled around to look back into the room I was in the process of exiting. Alphys and Mettaton – not blown to shreds. A room quiet but not dead.

I considered calling out to her. But what would I say? Even I didn’t know what was going on.

Keep walking, keep walking, keep—

My hands were gritty. Rubbed one against another, frowning. By this point they’d be stained for life. So was the striped sweater. Up to the elbows in gray, chalky dust. The front of the apron held less than what was behind it. Pants had streaks on them from wiping the hands. Gave one more swipe just to be sure, even though it would never do any good.

I lurched, feeling sick to my stomach, frantically checking my hands for any signs of dust. No, no, they were clean. Well, not clean, exactly, but the amount of clean you’d expect from walking around Hotland for hours. I began to walk faster, my pace reflecting my confusion. The worst part about that last vision was that the grime on the Other’s hands (they weren’t mine. They couldn’t be mine) felt familiar. Like I had had dust on my hands before. Or, rather, had never washed it off.

Those visions from before. Why had I ignored them? Why had I pushed them to the side? I wished I could push now. I wished I could shove the door closed and lock it from the outside, throw away the key. But the door didn’t seem like one I could lock anymore. It was one of those double-hinged swinging doors and no matter how hard I pushed on my end it was resolute to open one way or another. I felt sudden panic. What should I DO?

“S… sorry about that!”

Yes! Alphys! Ground me, distract me. Please.

I concentrated on her words like my life depended on it. As far as I knew, maybe they did.

“L-let’s k-keep going.”

“Okay.” I kept walking. “Is he going to be alright?”

Please keep talking. Please, please, please--

Dust in the corridor, wafting from my clothes—

“Y-yeah! Of c-course! All I need to do is switch out the battery. No biggie.”

Thank you. Thank you for talking. What else could we talk about? I licked my dry lips.

“S-so you’re about to meet Asgore, h-huh?”

“Yeah.” Keep it going. Keep the conversation rolling. Um…

“You must be… y-you must be… pr-pretty excited about all that, huh?”

“Uh, I’m a little nervous about it, to be honest, but, uh… you know… you just keep plugging away, plowing forward. See what’s up ahead. I mean, it’s been that way all through the Underground. You don’t really know what’s up ahead until you turn the next corner.”

“You’ll f-f-finally…”

Smell of smoke and dust. The elevator loomed ahead. Another lurch of excitement in the Other’s gut. Almost there, almost—

Keep the door shut! I coached myself, gritting my teeth, yanking myself back into what Alphys was saying. Don’t let the mind wander!

“You’ll finally get to go home!”

“Y… yeah!” I forced enthusiasm into my dry mouth. “Looking forward to it! I mean, I’ll miss all you guys, but…”

I could see the elevator. Which world was I in!? I looked back and caught Alphys’s eye. I grinned at her, but she looked down. She was sweating. I might have cared more if I wasn’t fighting for my life inside my own head.

“Um, yeah, so…” I shrugged, punching the elevator button with more force than was strictly necessary. In my mind I could see the Other’s dust-covered hand stretch out and push the button as well. My heart was pounding too hard. I clenched my teeth hard, bit the inside of my lower lip so the pain would draw me to the present.

The elevator door opened.

“W… Wait!” cried Alphys.

“What’s up?” I asked. Tactless. I wasn’t paying attention to my tone. It was too enthusiastic. I slapped myself mentally, but Alphys didn’t seem to notice. She tried to make herself perk up.

“I mean, um… I… I was just going to… um… say goodbye, and…”

Her smile slowly fell.

“And?” I prompted. I couldn’t stand the silence. One of us needed to talk. I bit my lip even harder, wringing my hands and attempting to pop my knuckles. Anything. Anything to keep me grounded.

“I can’t take this anymore,” she finally exclaimed. She turned her back towards me, talking to the corridor we had just gone through. “I… I lied to you.”

“You…”

She was going to leave me here at the elevator. She would run off and it would just be me alone with my thoughts. I struggled to keep my mind in line. “Does this have to do with the thing Mettaton told me about? The whole ‘you leading me through Hotland’ thing?”

“N-no. Well, yes, I guess, b-but… it’s about the barrier. A human soul isn’t enough to cross the barrier alone.”

“It isn’t?”

Keep it rolling.

“It takes at least a human soul…” The pause was infuriating. “And a monster soul.” She turned to face me again, but could barely meet my eyes. “If you want to go home… you’ll have to take his soul. You’ll have to kill Asgore.”

It wasn’t hard to act flabbergasted. I was breathing hard as it was. I probably looked disheveled and disturbed already. “I… I…”

Keep her here. Keep her with me. Keep the door shut tight.

“I’m sorry.”

Alphys ran away. I took a half step toward her, but she was gone already.

No no no no no no…

I walked into the elevator on impulse power. The doors shut behind me and the machinery began whirring. I swear we changed directions several times on the very long ride there. I sank to the floor, pulling my knees up against my chest.

Dusty hands, clean hands, dusty hands, clean hands… I kept my hands in sight so I could tell which world I was seeing. Was it my body? I didn’t trust myself to linger long enough to tell. I couldn’t explore, otherwise I might not be able to break free.

Why didn’t I tell Sans about this? I had forgotten about it for a little while, but why hadn’t I told him after I had had the dream about Undyne the Undying? The various little visions during Waterfall and Hotland when I tried my hardest to slam the door? Why hadn’t I gotten help sooner? Now it might be too late.

Wait, no. I could call him, right? I whipped out my phone.

I didn’t know his number.

But I knew Papyrus’s number. He could hand the phone off to Sans, or tell me what his number was. I pushed the contact information and held the phone up to my ear. “Please pick up, please pick up,” I hissed, rocking back and forth.

Nothing. Only a pleasant female voice telling me I had no connection.

Lady, I had too much connection, that was what I had!!!

Would it take too much time to ride the elevator back up? Find a connection there?

Sans was waiting for me in the Judgement Hall.

This thought sent me spinning into the Other’s world again, the excitement flooding every nerve until it was almost impossible to pull away again. That thought was too similar to Their way of thinking. They wanted to see him too. He was the one the Other wanted.

I have to go back. I can’t keep going like this. Call Papyrus once I’m out of the Core. Once I have a connection. Right?

The elevator pinged open and I felt a flood of relief. I didn’t test the connection, but I felt as if the demon behind the door had stopped shoving. I was alright again.

I can make it to the Judgement Hall, I decided. If I walk quickly and keep my mind on my task I can talk to him face to face. I’m able to do this. Because I have to do this.

I began walking, rubbing my hand through a Save Point on my way.

Blah blah blah fills me with Determination.

No, that wouldn’t do. I needed to keep my mind occupied. There was no music to help me with that task. It was up to my rapid imagination to keep me distracted. So, what here filled me with Determination? The thought that my journey was almost done? The thought that I would soon meet the king of all monsterkind? Now something silly. Um… the knowledge that… um… let’s see, what’s something I hadn’t used before? The knowledge that I KNOW I’m strong enough to do this… wait, that’s not silly at all. That’s dark and kind of depressing. Like my writing style. Oh look! There’s the city!

Despite how it looks in the game, the city of New Home was not all that silent. Although there was no music, from the upper reaches where I was you could hear the faint sound of laughter and celebration down below among the gray stone houses. I could see the bustle of moving monsters in the streets and hear them shouting to one another. I passed nobody on my route. They were all down below.

I began to sing softly to myself to keep my mind on track. I had learned last year that ‘Under Attack’ by Abba was a good walking song. It was exactly on beat if you wanted to walk at 3 MPH at a nice consistent pace. I sang this now under my breath. No music arose to accompany me. I was okay with that.

Then came an incline that took me far above the city. I was heading for the castle. It wasn’t until I stood in the courtyard in front of a house that looked almost exactly like Toriel’s that the music struck up. Acoustic guitar, enchanting and soft.

But then it was gone. I was hearing something else – some other music. It sounded like the chord that strikes when Asgore sees you for the first time, but lower in pitch. I felt dust on the Other’s hands again.

No! No, back to the guitar music. Yes, good. Now STAY! I marched into the house, throwing a random glance at the chain in front of the stairwell. I needed to get the keys from the kitchen and the bedroom. Bedroom? Or maybe hallway. Whatever. I’d go into the kitchen first and look at the note on my next pass.

I got snagged by the first Encounter on my way through. What the game never showed was that the house was practically teaming with monsters, standing around and talking in low voices. I hardly noticed them at first, but they grabbed me. All I wanted was to get the key and leave.

Two Froggits, speaking in somber tones. “A long time ago, a human fell into the ruins,” one intoned.

“Injured by its fall, the human called out for help,” the other continued.

I was caught in another encounter before the other had let me go. Flowey was before me, smiling with genuine pleasure. “Howdy, Chara!” he greeted. “You finally made it home!”

Close the door close the door close the door close the door—

“Remember when we used to play he—”

I finally succeeded in shutting out the thought and bounded forward, grabbing the key off the kitchen counter, then scampered for the front room. I got snatched again, this time by two Whimsoms who felt it their duty to tell me about Asriel, the King’s son, finding the fallen human. Even though I hated being snagged, I tried my best to pay close attention. It was better than being trapped with Flowey.

As I scuttled down the hallway, I detoured slightly to look into the first room. Two presents were sitting on the floor. I tried to get out as soon as I realized what I had done, but the Other pulled me into Their world. The presents were opened. One held a locket. The other a knife. The knife slipped smoothly into Their hand. The Locket fit perfectly around Their neck. Both felt like they belonged.

No no no. I kept going, forcing my feet forward. Three Moldsmall pulled me into my next Encounter and I had a vision of the Other looking into the mirror at the end of the hallway. My stomach lurched. My own face stared back from the Other’s mirror.

It’s me.

No. No, it couldn’t be. It isn’t! Trapped in my own denial, I fumbled for the key, basically inviting Flowey to appear as I struggled to get a grip on my emotions. I couldn’t control it anymore.

I… I couldn’t…

“I soon realized I didn’t feel—”

“The human became very ill…”

“At any point I could have let this world continue on without me.”

“The next day.”

“I’ve done everything this world has to offer.”

“The next day.”

“I’ve read every book. I’ve burned every book.”

“...”

“I’ve won every game. I’ve lost every game.”

“The human died.”

“I’ve appeased everyone. I’ve killed everyone.”

The voices mingled in my mind. I was seeing double. The Other tramped relentlessly down the corridor, stopping only when Flower prevented their passage. I was disoriented, troubled. Too many voices pressed in on my mind. Shut it off. Shut it ALL off.

“With the human soul, Asriel crossed the barrier.”

There, I was holding on, if only for a little bit. Close off the other facets. Close it off. It’s behind a door now. Listen. Listen to them tell you about Asriel. Listen to them tell you about the grief of Asgore and his queen. Listen… listen…

Please, no.

“Creatures like us…” Flowey murmured, face warping into a melted mass, “wouldn’t hesitate to KILL each other if we got in the other’s way.”

No, please. Let me go back to the Froggits and the Moldsmals and the Whimsoms telling me about Asriel.

“So that’s… so… that’s… why…” Flowey looked nervous.

“The humans had once again taken everything from us.”

Yes. Cling to that one.

No. It was gone again like a dream.

The Other was advancing. I could feel a smile tugging against the corners of her mouth – Their mouth! Not hers. Genderless. Theirs. Flowey was shaking. “H-hey, what are you doing?!” he demanded, scootching backwards in the ground. “B… back off!”

The music had changed yet again. Snare drums. The Other still advanced.

Cling to the guitar music. That’s a lovely song, yeah? You can hear it if you close your eyes and keep moving forward.

“You should be smiling, too.”

“Aren’t you excited?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

Back to the snare drum. Flowey was saying, “This isn’t a good idea anymore. Y-you should go back, Chara. This place is fine the way it is! S-s-stop making that creepy face!”

My cheeks hurt. No, Theirs. It was Their cheeks which were hurting from stretching so wide, in such a wide, wide smile. I put my hands up to my face. I couldn’t mimic Their behavior. Not now.

“You’re going to be free.”

“You’ve got a SICK sense of humor!”

Flowey was gone. Froggit was gone. The door was before me. I rushed in and all sound stopped as if I had closed a door behind me. Everything stopped as if I had stepped into a land outside of time. I was made blind with the color gold.

I was here.

I was in the Judgement Hall.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26

The Last Corridor stretched before me, a glistening tunnel of gold. Real light, not the synthetic electrical stuff or the heat-stained lava light I had come to know for the past couple days, shone through stained windows, dappling the ground. Columns guarded the walls, spaced out evenly like sentinels, throwing shadows the color of midnight where they blocked the light. The high-arched ceiling almost disappeared in the distance.

For a moment, all I could do was breathe. My breaths came out rasping, gasped and shuddering as I trembled. Even though the cacophony of voices had gone, I could feel the presence of the Other. They had a foot in the door. Even though my vision never shifted from my own world, I could sense that we were in sync when we waved our hands through the Save Point.

I am filled with Determination.

Because I have to be.

Still trembling – as much from the Other’s thoughts and emotions as from my own – I began to walk down the hallway. My steps were both annunciated and muffled by the grandeur of the hall, ringing loudly on the magnificent tilework but then subsiding as the noise tried to carry farther. It was a long hallway – a very long hallway. I hated the anticipation that it built. Like the walk to the principal’s office. The green mile. I wondered if it had been built for just that purpose, to make the criminals feel their sins before they faced the judge and jury. Probably not. Asgore didn’t strike me as the kind to pull something as cruel as that.

I scuffed my foot before each step, making a beat to march to.

Step-pah. Step-pah. Step-pah. Step-pah…

And ONE and TWO and THREE and FOUR and…

A little more than halfway down the corridor, I blinked as I stepped out of the shadow of a column. When I opened my eyes, a figure stood before me, one shadow lying between us. He was bleached from the golden light and his eyes were closed, but I knew who he was. My stomach lurched and I fought to keep the Other at bay.

Three bells tolled, slow and resounding. I looked up, but I couldn’t tell where they came from. They didn’t sound in the Other’s world.

“so you finally made it. the end of your journey is at hand.”

Sans’s voice sounded in my head. It almost didn’t sound like his voice. It almost didn’t sound like he was speaking out loud. Just projecting his words into my brain. He spoke of LV and EXP: How LOVE stood for Levels Of ViolencE and how EXP stood for EXecution Points. He spoke of my judgment. But even as he talked, his words became garbled. I struggled to listen, but everything was warping like a mirage, and as hard as I tried, the mistier it became.

“heya. you’ve been busy, huh?”

No no no no, not this, not this!

Even though the two scenes before me were identical to all outward appearances, the voices were not. My Sans had a beautiful solemnity to him, unyielding but warm. His eyes were closed, but his search of my soul and of my statistics were gentle. The Other’s Sans was not like that. The other Sans was cold. His eyes were open and they were piercing.

“so, i’ve got a question for ya.”

Get a grip, girl. Go back to your world. Slam the door. Slam the door!

“do you think even the worst person can change…?” the other Sans asked, his words relentlessly overshadowing the soliloquy of his doppelganger. “that anyone can be a good person, if they just try?”

That had been Papyrus’s claim. Sans repeated the words of his dead brother, eyes closed, the mask-like smile affixed to his face even as I felt waves of bitter sorrow wash from his position like an unseen mist.

No, NO! Papyrus was ALIVE. He was alive in MY world, which I could get to if I could just fricking FOCUS!!!!!

It worked, if only for a little bit. My Sans opened his eyes and I rooted myself in his expression, as mixed as it might be. “but you. you never gained any LOVE. ‘course, that doesn’t mean you’re completely innocent or naïve. just that you kept a certain tenderness in—”

The Other had moved forward. I hadn’t felt it happen, but they were a step forward when I blinked. The other Sans chuckled, and it held a bitter ring. “all right. well, here’s a better question.” His eyelights were gone. A chill settled over the room. “do you wanna have a bad time?”

I didn’t. I didn’t want to have ANY time here. Why wasn’t I focusing???

“because if you take one step forward—”

“you never gained any LOVE, but you gained love.” My Sans quirked his brow bone. “does that make sense? Maybe not.”

And then he was gone again and the Other had taken another step forward. That Sans sighed heavily. “welp. sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises.”

I tried feebly to snag my own world as the Other was pulled into an Encounter, but my own panic was pulling me down like an exhausted swimmer.

“it’s a beautiful day outside.”

No, don’t make me watch this.

“birds are singing, flowers are blooming…”

I don’t want to be a part of this.

“on days like these, kids like you…”

Please, no.

Everything flickered and Sans opened his eyes, eyelights gone again. His voice echoed in my head:

“S h o u l d  b e  b u r n i n g  i n  h e l l.”

A stab of pain as the Other’s legs hit the ground, and a split second later everything was agony. The color white filled my vision as magic bones were summoned in a giant wave. The Other was engulfed.

I gasped and jerked my hand back as if I had been burned. I was back at the Save Point again. The Other had died… but I was at the Save Point?

Even more than that, They had LET Themselves die. Right before Their Sans had begun his attack, I had felt Them relinquish. Not giving up, exactly, but more of a letting go. As if waiting for something else to happen.

I was still in my world, they were still in Theirs. We were separated. That was important. But… had I died or had I reloaded?

Either way, I wasn’t going to stand for this any longer. I bolted away from the Save Point at a brisk trot, almost jogging. Every time I blinked the Other synced with my position. I couldn’t stay ahead of Them!

Step-pah-step-pah-step-pah-step-pah…

…and-TEN-and-‘LEV’N-and-TWELVE-and-THIR-teen…

Blink.

Sans was before me again. Was before both of us. In my world he intoned with muffled words and calm expression, but in the other he appraised me with an icy grin.

“heya. you look frustrated about something.”

I tried to find my mouth. MY mouth, not the Other’s mouth. It took an effort, but I opened it. “Sans,” I croaked, not caring what I interrupted. His eyes snapped open.

“guess i’m pretty good at my job, huh?”

Something’s happening to me, I tried to explain. I’m caught between two timelines. It keeps switching and I don’t know how to make it stop. Help me, please, help me, Sans.

Who knew if I said it out loud. All that was ringing in my mind was that I was going to have to live through that pain again – the pain of the Other – and time would loop again. I couldn’t, I couldn’t, I didn’t WANT to!

“it’s a beautiful day outside.”

I was seeing double. The Other’s Sans, black-and-white, fueled my panic. My Sans looked, he looked…

“birds are singing, flowers are blooming…”

…actually startled. For the first time since I met him.

“on days like this, kids like you…”

His hand came out of his pocket. Was he trying to call to me? I called to him one more time. Please. Help.

“S h o u l d  b e  b u r n i n g  i n  h e l l.”

Again that loose feeling in the Other. An open invitation. They were going to die. They were going to make ME die. As blue magic slammed their soul toward the ground, I instinctively took over. As soon as the pain of the landing struck Their legs, I jumped. They were no longer Their legs, but mine. A stab went through my soul as a bone attack caught me. I had jumped a little too late. But They had gained a lot of HP over Their run. I was strong. Panic kept me going.

A sea of bones swept towards me as my soul turned red again. They buffeted, bruising me far more painfully than Papyrus’s had. I struggled through, my soul stabbing as my HP diminished in spurts. Dragon-like skulls – Gaster Blasters – appeared from every side. I skittered, trying to figure out where one WASN’T pointing. Their mouths opened and a beam of bright white, blazing, agonizing light washed over me. I could feel my soul break apart, shattering under their attack. Even with my interference, I still died.

I shot back to life with a gasp, shaking as I realized what I had just done. I hadn’t just… had I really…?

My hands were covered in dust.

No.

No, no, no…

I wiped them against my pant legs and whipped my head around as if that would return me to my world.

No, focus! Find the door. Where is the door???

There was no door. The metaphorical door, which I had jumped through to keep from dying, was shut. And not only was it shut, it had vanished completely.

Gone.

No. No no no, please, no!

I was frantic. My hypervenilating breaths resounded against the floor and the sound of them floated up toward the ceiling. No! I could undo this, right? There was something I was just missing, right? Come on, please!

I reloaded. My hands were still coated in dust.

This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not here. Not to me. I just needed to find the door again. Yeah. I started down the corridor again.

Steppah-steppah-steppah-steppah-steppah…

…TWENTYoneTWENTYtwoTWENTYthreeTWENTYfour…

I just needed to get to Sans, I reasoned. When I started seeing double I’d jump back over and STAY there this time. Just as simple as that. I couldn’t be… I couldn’t possibly be…

I wasn’t trapped here.

Couldn’t be.

Blink.

He stood before me again.

“hmm. that expression…”

Those eyes, so lacking in any warmth. There was no seeing double. There was no doorway.

“Sans!” I interjected before he could go any further. I could taste the grit of dust in my mouth as I opened it. Sans’s expression turned, if possible, even more cynical and he cocked his head.

“rearing to go, huh? ok.”

“Sans, listen to me!”

He didn’t. I was pulled into an Encounter.

“it’s a beautiful day outside.”

“Sans, please listen to me!”

“birds are singing…”

“You’ve got the wrong one, it’s not me!”

“flowers are blooming…”

“It’s not me, Sans!”

“on days like this, kids like you…”

“Why don’t you listen to me!?”

“S h o u l d  b e  b u r n i n g  i n  h e l l.”

Blue magic sent me crashing to the earth. I cried out I jumped too late, bones crashing against me in an overwhelming wave.

Up-down-up.

Gaster Blasters. Their mouths opened. I rushed to the middle of the square. The beams hit me, but I could hardly hear my own scream over their noisy blasts. They stopped, but more appeared. Different positions, this time. I lay against the floor, arms protecting my head. More blasters. I launched up off the floor into my previous position. Two absolutely colossal blasters right in the middle. I pressed myself against the floor again. They blasted each other into oblivion.

My feet barely held me as I stood up. Sans shrugged nonchalantly from outside my square. “huh,” he said. “always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.”

He gave another shrug and music struck up. Music that sent a new sense of dread skipping down my spine. Music that I would recognize anywhere.

Megalovania.

I was holding a knife in my hand. Apparently that had been my weapon of choice to equip. My hand settled on a gold locket draped around my neck. My armor. Where was my frying pan? Where was my apron that gave me plus-one HP every other turn? I flinched, dropping the knife and thrusting it away with the flat of my shoe. “Talk to me, Sans. Please!” I demanded.

I don’t know what Action this took, but Sans didn’t say a word. My soul turned blue and a line of bones as tall as the ceiling but with a little gap in the middle just high enough off the ground to jump through came at me. I had to shut my mouth, grit my teeth, and concentrate as they barreled forwards.

Sans’s bones DEFINITELY hit harder than Papyrus’s. By a LONG shot. They took off less HP, but I was going to be so bruised up if I ever lived through this. And even after his attack was done there was a sharp, consistent pang in my soul as a delayed effect took off more HP. I couldn’t keep going if I was down this low already! What did I have in my inventory? I took a look and my stomach churned. Snowman Pieces.

A mental image came to mind of the snowman crying out for mercy as I scooped him up, chunk by chunk. Here he sat as a consumable item in my inventory. But that image couldn’t be a memory. Or if it was, it wasn’t MY memory.

…Right?

I didn’t have the time to think about it. I scanned over the rest of my inventory. Instant Noodles, Butterscotch Pie, Legendary Hero… shouldn’t there have been more stuff from the beginning of the game? Where did that all go?

Oh right. Undyne the Undying.

Again with the clear memories. They couldn’t be mine. This wasn’t ME.

I ate one of the Legendary Heroes, which was a sandwich thing that was clearly made at MTT Resort (according to all the fake glitter). It kept me bolstered for a bit.

On my next turn I gritted my teeth against the pain and again demanded Sans to talk to me, adding that this wasn’t my world – I wasn’t supposed to be here! But again, he didn’t listen. I don’t know if he had control over the music, but it seemed to get louder over my pleas and he looked at me with pitiless eyes as his turn started up again.

I died that turn.

My ears rang as I revived and I once again rubbed my powdery hands against each other. What now, what now? He wasn’t listening to me! Should I try harder, or was there somebody else who could help me, or… or…

I didn’t know! I didn’t know anything!

I was on the brink of hyperventilating again, but I tried to calm myself. There had to be some kind of solution to this. Something I could do. Something someone could do – it didn’t necessarily have to be me. But what? Who could possibly answer all my burning questions?

My scrambling hand reached my phone. It was the old version – the one I had used before Alphys had updated it. The only number in it was Toriel’s. And Toriel was dead. That thought hit me like a sock to the stomach, robbing me of any breath I had left. I could remember now. The Toy Knife slashing through her chest like a real knife. Her look of betrayal and sorrow as she questioned that I really hated her that much.

No, not me. Them! It was… it was…

I looked at my hands. Properly, not just seeing the grime that covered them. Glinting through the dust, perched proudly on the middle finger of my right hand, was my ring. The one my mom had gotten me for my twelfth birthday. The silver one with the blue opal that I had worn almost every day since then.

MY ring.

MY hands.

I felt a sickening lurch in my stomach as this new piece of information struck home. I almost dropped my phone as I rubbed my hands over my face, through my hair, searching my body for defining marks to tell me that what I was thinking wasn’t true.

Denial was the word of the day, and I stuck proudly to it like a banner. I began to run out of the Judgement Hall, back the way I had come, awkwardly affixing my phone back in its place as I ran. Back through the corridor, up the stairs. Back into Asgore’s house. The mirror. I ran to it, gripping the frame in my hands as I stared deep into the glass.

My ring. My hands.

My face.

“No,” I moaned, the mirror reflecting back a dust-smeared visage with two brown, horrified eyes gazing back into my own. I touched my face. My reflection did the same.

I couldn’t bear its look any more. I turned away, facing the empty opposite wall for solace. There was none. There was nothing.

I could Reset…

This thought bloomed on me like a shy little flower opening to the sun. I could Reset. It would mean going through everything again, back from the beginning… but honestly if there was no other way to get back, what more harm could it possibly cause? I had accepted that this was the new reality. The way back was gone. Maybe a full redo was in order.

Feeling a calm steal over me, I nodded to myself, whispering, “Okay,” as the decision solidified in my mind. Reset. I had never tried it before – only reload – but I was sure I could figure it out with a little experimentation.

Deep breath. Steel my resolve. I closed my eyes, trying to picture the Reset button the way it was showed in Glitchtale. Big. Semi-transparent. Bright. I tried to picture myself going back in time, back to the very moment I woke up in the flowerbed in the Ruins. Time ran backward.

And then it stopped.

I jolted, my eyes opening of their own accord, but I was just at the last Save Point again. I felt shaken, like someone who had just missed the final step on a staircase.

I tried again, gritting my teeth, trying to fill myself with Determination. Again a stop and a reroute back to the Save Point. Again. And again. And again.

“No, no, no, NO!” I growled to myself as I continued to persist. Every single time it felt like I was ramming against an invisible barrier. I pushed, but it pushed back harder, yanking me back to the Save Point as a parent would pull a child back to the time-out corner. An irresistible force.

No Reset.

No Reset.

The implications of this crashed down, yet another tidal wave on my already overwhelmed mind. I couldn’t… I couldn’t accept this! No! If I couldn’t Reset…

Sans wouldn’t help me. I had to find somebody who could.

For the second time I left the Judgement Hall. My mind froze for a moment, trying to decide for whose help I would plead. I refused to count the dead, knowing the names too painful. Simply thinking of Toriel had brought a storm of grief and horror. How much so if I allowed myself to dwell on any more? No. I wouldn’t think of them. Only the one who had last talked to… me. It was hard to admit, even to myself in my own mind, but… it was me he talked to, apparently. Talked to me here in this corridor. I called his name.

“Flowey!”

My voice was shrill and it echoed ahead of me as I proceeded back to Asgore’s house. It was almost the same tone I had screamed when I had been on the other side of the screen when I witnessed the murder of the king. Then I had cried out in anger and astonishment. Now I pleaded for assistance in a corridor which only a moment ago in a parallel timeline had been chock-full of monsters eager to talk about their long dead prince. Now it was baren.

I went back into Asgore’s house, wandering from room to room. No Flower appeared. I went out into the front yard and kept walking back through the abandoned city. Where once I had heard music and celebration drifting on the air, now I heard silence. My own voice, high and plaintive, was the only noise I could hear.

I called. I screamed. I ripped my voice apart but still no Flowey. I apologized for frightening him, called myself by the name of Chara and begged to talk to him. Still no appearance. Not even a hint of yellow on the gray stone surroundings.

I wound up back at the elevator that led from the Core. After a moment of hesitation, I pressed the button to open the door and stepped inside. If Sans and Flowey wouldn’t… who else was there?

Honestly, anyone. I just wanted to see anyone. The merchants were still open, right? Some of them? Yeah. MTT Resort. Burgerpants. He could talk to me. He could tell me what had happened. Maybe not all of it, but he could at least listen, right?

The remains of Mettaton crunched underfoot, even as I tried to avoid them. My stomach did a flip and I exited as soon as possible. The Core, which had been practically erupting with monsters itching for a fight, was quiet now. Eerily so. I hastened to the next elevator to avoid looking at the piles of dust scattered about the Core. I could remember the faces of their owners. I remembered where each one had fallen.

But STILL… it couldn’t have been ME that did this. Even if this was my body and I had the memories… it couldn’t have been ME.

MTT Resort was also quiet. None of the usual peppy, cheery music played overhead. Burgerpants sat smoking at the counter. He gave me a long face as I drew near. “Oh great. the freak’s back,” I heard him mumble to himself.

“You remember me?” I asked as I drew near. I remembered him. I hadn’t really talked to him other than ordering my meal in this run. He hadn’t been nice while handing over the food, but he hadn’t been openly hostile either.

He coughed a depressed laugh. “Who would forget you, little weirdo? Only customer I’ve had all day.”

What could I say? This was a horrible situation. How would I even start? “Something… happened,” I said tentatively. “I mean, I’m not even sure WHAT happened. I just…” I grappled with my words.

Burgerpants gave a catlike yawn, showing his tiny pointed teeth. “Are you going to order or what?”

I gripped the countertop. “Please, just listen to me! I was in a different… timeline or something, okay? Everything was fine, everything was good, and then, suddenly, I got smacked right into this timeline and I have dust on my hands and I don’t know what’s going on, but I have the memories of whatever happened here in my head, and it’s my body, but… I don’t know what’s going on.”

A scrambled hodgepodge of words. I added a desperate “please” at the end like the cherry on top of a very weird ice cream sundae.

Burgerpants took another pull on his cigarette. He didn’t look the slightest bit swayed. “Better work on your storytelling, freak. I’ve heard better excuses on Discount Glamburger Day.”

“It’s the truth!” I insisted. He merely rolled his eyes. “I need someone to help me.”

He snorted. “Little weirdo, you don’t just need help. You need professional help.”

My insides burned. “Don’t you see what’s going on here?” I flung my arm out wide at the empty room. “Don’t you see what’s happened to everybody else?”

Burgerpants gave another eyeroll. “Listen, if you’re trying to threaten me, it won’t work. I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”

No matter what I tried, Burgerpants wouldn’t shift from his lackadaisical attitude. He was kind of like Sans in that respect. Only, Sans was ready to kill me as soon as I showed my face. That was really scary to think about. As much as Sans and I might butt heads, he never was trying to kill me.

Gerson? I hadn’t even given him a sideways look as I passed through the dusty mires of Waterfall. Even in my previous Pacifist world I had only stopped to say hello and ask about the Delta Rune. After all, what could he do? What could any of them do?

What would I do now?

Slowly I walked outside MTT Resort. I leaned against the nearest wall and slumped to the ground, enveloping myself in another shroud of denial. All the old excuses resurfacing. Murderer? Me? Little old me a murderer? Lol. Rotfl. Of all people, ME? The one who suffered from guilt before even pressing the True Reset button? No. Something else must’ve happened. Somebody else. Anything else.

Undyne was dead. She had melted to dust, a smile on her face as she maintained that the Underground would live on in Alphys’s care.

Alphys. Maybe I could find one of her cameras. She was still keeping tabs through them, right? Maybe if I waved, screamed through one of them…

No, of course she wouldn’t show herself. What kind of a novice would fall for that kind of ploy? She wouldn’t communicate with me, not after I had killed those most important to her. I had defeated Undyne. I had slaughtered Mettaton.

Papyrus. He was gone. A new twist built in my gut as that fact came to light. Instead of shrinking from it, this time I examined it. Every word he said. Every step I took. His reprimanding manner had faded into gentle seriousness as he offered to help me change. I remembered considering very carefully what move to make to stay in the script of the game, finally deciding on a smile and arms tentatively open as if asking for a hug. I had PLANNED it to get myself close to him. His face had lit up and he had accepted me with open arms. And then… I had punched him. I touched my knuckles as I remembered the crack of my hand colliding with his jaw.

He told me he believed I could do better. My heart ached and I laid the back of my head against the rough wall, brows creasing painfully as I remembered. If anyone would have helped me here when my deeds had deemed me beyond help, it would have been him.

But now he’s… he’s…

Oh come off it. He’s DEAD. All of them. DEAD. DEAD. Dead…

I forced myself to consider it, probing each thought like sticking fingers in an open wound. It hurt to think, but I had to. Because I needed to know. Was it me? Was I the murderer? Even though my mind screamed that it couldn’t be, all evidence seemed to suggest… I could remember every thought, every decision linked to every action. There was a methodical calm under every kill, even Papyrus’s. I could think up excuses, name other names and label them as the culprit, but still… I had no evidence for ANY of this. Not enough information. Never enough information.

Even though my heart ached, I couldn’t cry. There was the same sort of blockage in my emotions like the resistance keeping me from Resetting. My heart hurt. My head ached and my eyes pleaded to let loose, but nothing came. Nary a tear.

And Sans waited for me in the Judgement Hall to finish the job.

A rush of emotion filled me, but not the good kind. The world flipped and suddenly I was standing back in the Last Corridor, by the Save Point. Had… had I just reloaded? I hadn’t meant to reload. How had that happened?

What was I going to do now? There was nobody. There was nothing. Only the verdict of the merciless judge.

Chapter Text

Chapter 27

With nothing else to do, I began to walk forward. There HAD to be another way beyond fighting. There always was. All I had to do was find the right action. Wondering why, wondering HOW, could wait.

Step-pah step-pah step-pah step-pah…

Forty-THREE forty-FOUR forty-FIVE…

Blink.

Sans stood before me again, grinning widely. “hmm. that expression… that’s the expression of someone—”

I interrupted again. “Sans, please, I need you to listen to me.”

His eyelights glinted, and like last time he ditched his original dialogue, opting to say, “rearing to go, huh? ok,” and starting the battle.

The ‘Act’ menu, which since the beginning had shimmered helpfully into view when I waited too long to make a move, was of no assistance, only suggesting ‘check’ as my sole option. Once that was exhausted, I began to improvise. I begged, I pleaded, I tried to cry but no tears came. I threw away my blade as a ‘mercy’ option. I tried to shout over the music, but it only blasted louder, drowning out my voice. As a tactic of desperation I sang ‘Bonetrousle’ at the top of my lungs, but that turned out to be a mistake. Sans’s attacks came faster than ever and his eyelights shone with a steely glint. I crunched on Instant Noodles, crammed Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie into my mouth, the tastes diluted with the grit of dust.

I died many times.

Many, many times.

So many times that the number forty-eight – the number of steps it took for me to reach the center of the Judgement Hall and for Sans to make his appearance – was ingrained in my memory. So many times that I stopped trying to brush dust off of my hands before moving forward. So many times that my previous run, the one with pleasant pacifistic memories, seemed like a distant dream. I clenched my teeth shut and listened to Sans’s mocking words as I stopped on the forty-ninth step, talking about my expression and how it told him how many deaths he had caused me. It pained me to hear him speak this way, taunting, threatening.

It wasn’t until my eleventh death that he finally lost track. “there’s nuance to this stuff,” he explained. “don’t think i’ll be able to count very well from here. count for me, ok?”

I gave a tight nod. I was still roiling inside from death number ten, where he had suggested that I celebrate the occasion by throwing a party and inviting all my friends, before reminding me that I didn’t have any friends. He would have made GLaDOS proud. I had tried to scream explanations at him, losing patience completely, but he had started quickly after that.

Sans’s eyelights darkened. “we’ll start from 12.”

After that, all he said was, “let’s just get to the point.” And then right before starting, he’d ask me if I was ready. Then the whole cycle would begin again. Dodging. Being hit. Consuming items. Being hit more. Dying. Reviving. Walking forward. Encounter. Dodging. Being hit. I lost count of the deaths.

Slash.

I jolted in surprise, my hand shaking as I realized what it had just done. Instead of dropping the knife or throwing it to the side, I had jabbed it in Sans’s direction. And according to the Fight meter which had appeared out of the nothingness above my head, I hadn’t been aiming for a light blow. Sans had stepped aside effortlessly, of course, but the fact that I had just tried to STAB him… no, the fact I WOULD have stabbed him if he hadn’t moved aside… where had that come from? Why had I just done that?

“what? you think i’m just gonna stand there and take it?” Sans asked, mistakenly interpreting my look of shock.

He had talked. I had advanced the Fight. I hadn’t wanted to strike and yet… striking had advanced the Fight. Did that mean… should I…

Come on, no! There should be another way! There had to be another way! This was the way the game WANTED me to play. I had to be smarter. I had to think outside the box.

I threw away the blade again, dodging his next array of attacks. Even though this form had seemed previously so impenetrable with its hefty HP, it all evaporated like snow as his attacks smote me.

Sans stopped speaking again, and as doggedly as I tried, I just couldn’t find an Action that would stimulate him. Useless. All of it useless. I munched my final Snowman Piece – the disgust of the deed had already worn off during my multiple deaths – and steeled myself. Completely aware of my action this time, I swung, aiming for the yellow area of the Fight bar in intensity.

Slash.

I missed.

Sans began: “our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting…”

His next onslaught took me out and I revived at the entrance of the corridor. So it was true, I mused to myself as I walked forward. I had to keep Fighting to advance.

But what then? My steps slowed. If I kept fighting, if I reached his final sequence… then what? Would he listen to me then, just because I managed to get past his defenses? Could I trust him to take me seriously?

Even more than these questions was a budding threat. It had been growing on me ever since I re-entered the Judgement Hall after my return to MTT Resort. The reload that brought me back here… the unintentional first slash of my knife… I hadn’t prompted those. Even though I was in control of this body, was I really? Through the heat of the battle, a feeling had simmered forth. That of not being truly alone. Sometimes when stalling by the Save Point I would suddenly realize that although I had no memory of moving I was already partway across the expanse, heading toward my demise yet again. This wasn’t too peculiar – I was known for zoning out time and again – but even more threatening than that was the feeling that began to grow while I fought. The contradictory urge to press onward, the errant surge of Determination that implored me to continue the Fight. The Other was still with me. If I got to the end… would I be able to talk with Sans? Or would I be forced to end it all? They seemed tame enough for now, releasing control as soon as realization hit, feigning nonexistence as soon as I gained alertness, but I was sensitive enough by now to know that They were there. What if it got stronger? I couldn’t take that chance.

Nonetheless, I couldn’t deny that Fighting did seem to be the only way to escalate the battle. Knowing that I couldn’t actually hit Sans filled me with… well, not Determination, but at least some confidence. I began to swing at him on my turns, first with trepidation, then with more aggression as time went by, but always with a keen ear turned to the back of my brain where the Other waited. Every so often the desire would take hold and my body would feel for the longing of the EXP burst I had gotten used to, swinging my knife with a purposeful stroke. But Sans would always dodge, sending out a tidal wave of attacks which would damage me far more than any of my puny attacks harmed him.

I began to learn their patterns. Precise jumps over crisscrossing bones. Jump backwards over the white bones but stay still for the blue ones. Jump through the gaps in the oncoming attacks. A sea of bones with floating platforms, but also bones up above if you jumped too high. Another attack that was similar, but with smaller platforms. Another platform one but with bones in specific positions instead of beneath you. A single moving platform with a sea of bones underneath AND a line of bones moving across the platform. More platforms, but this time with Gaster Blasters. I began to sense that Sans liked platforms for some reason.

I also began to learn his dialogue by heart as I heard it over and over again: “our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting…

until suddenly, everything ends.”

He’d chuckle and his eyes would go dark. “that’s your fault, isn’t it?

you can’t understand how this feels.

knowing that one day, without any warning… it’s all going to be reset.

look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago.”

I felt some remorse the first time I heard him say that. Even the second time. The pain in his voice was evident, ringing far truer than any of the friendly words we had shared in our previous timeline. But they started falling flat after the fourth time I heard them.

“and getting to the surface doesn’t really appeal anymore either.

cause even if we do… we’ll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right?”

Again, I would have felt sorrier if I hadn’t had the literal living daylights beaten out of me. Plus, since the only thing I wanted to do right now was the dreaded ‘Reset’ and I had no power to do so, it took the sting out of his words somewhat. He didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t know how that fear of his could save all our lives.

“to be blunt… it makes it kind of hard to give it my all.

…or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy? hell if i know.

all i know is… seeing what comes next… i can’t afford not to care anymore.

ugh… that being said…” Sans was panting by this point, sweat beading on his skeletal brow. The music quelled momentarily and I clenched my jaw with sudden anticipation. “you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, huh?” He nodded to my knife, then closed his eyes. “listen…”

A swell of music filled the room, a quiet roar that annunciated his words. “i know you didn’t answer me before, but… somewhere in there. i can feel it. there’s a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might even have been… a friend?”

A surge of emotion washed over me. Where a moment ago Sans the Judge had been standing, now I saw Sans… my friend. The one who had reached out to me just before I left the other timeline. The one who had quipped with me and who laughed over ridiculous puns. That Sans, broken by my deeds, but still intact and reaching out to the broken part of me. My throat closed up, but I nodded, straining in eager desperation. I needed to speak with him. I needed him to hear me.

“c’mon buddy,” Sans cajoled. “do you remember me? please, if you’re listening… let’s forget all of this, ok?” He looked so plaintive. So desperate. “just lay down your weapon, and… well, my job will be a lot easier.”

I knew what would happen if I didn’t do this correctly. I hadn’t actually SEEN it happen in a playthrough since Jacksepticeye never fell for that ploy, but I knew what would happen. I couldn’t just lay down my weapon, or I’d be dead. So I took a step forward, gingerly inspecting his face for any telltale signs. “Sans?” my throat was dry.

His eyes lit up a little. “heya, kiddo,” he said.

My heart lifted. It was HIM! He might not know me, but he KNEW! I let out a shaky breath that was almost a laugh. “I don’t wanna fight you,” I whispered, but I kept the knife in my hand.

“you’re sparing me?” Relief flooded his features. “finally.”

I nodded several times very rapidly. “We need to talk,” I said.

Sans returned my nod. “buddy. pal. of course we can talk. c’mere, pal.” And he spread his arms as if offering to wrap me up in a hug.

I stepped forward eagerly, hand outstretched to take his in my own. I was smiling, relieved, happy that the ordeal might just be over. That he would listen to me.

Fool, fool, I was a fool. That I, who had tempted Papyrus forward with the lure of open arms, would fall for the same bait. It was poetic irony, really, but I had no stomach to appreciate it. Bones shot up from the floor, hard as iron, sharp as swords, but each strike a blunt blow to the heart. A scream ripped out of my throat, but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t feel its pain through the incessant stab of his bones through my soul, ripping through my body, tearing through it like teeth.

Even though I was dead the pain still persisted. The gleeful shout, “geeettttttt dunked on!!!” rang through my mind where usually the dull, soothing memories of that fatherly voice usually thrummed. Brash, cheerful music sounded in my shattered mind, bringing a dreamlike disarray to my already scattered thoughts.

And then the same voice that had just shouted sounded once more, this time in a subdued murmur. “if we’re really friends… you won’t come back.”

But I did. I had to. I had no other choice.

A moment later I was standing back at the Save Point, shaking, breathing rapidly. I shrieked a harsh yell that reverberated through the Judgement Hall, tearing at my throat, dying down the second it left my mouth. I screamed again, a shout of anger, balling my fists at the end of stick-straight arms, trembling with unreleased tension. If my eyes could shoot lasers, the hall would be ablaze. Hurt anger welled from my soul like a toxin. I didn’t often become angry, and this time my passion was too vengeful to be called by so tame a name. I was furious. I was too enraged for words, too irate for coherent thought. Had I been able to cry, I would have burst into tears in an instant to give some release from my overwhelming emotions.

I stamped over and slammed my fist into the wall, relishing the pain and allowing it to bring me back to the present. With the dull throb came a thin, cold stream of despair. My hope was drifting away like a seed pod in a river. I felt crushingly tired. He hadn’t listened. He hadn’t… he hadn’t…

Should I try again?

I was walking before I came up with a solid answer. Yes. I would try again. There had to be a combination that cracked the system somehow. Something. Anything.

…

There was nothing.

I tried over and over, again and again, but there was nothing. Once more I stood in front of Sans as he monologued about how he knew there was a better person inside of me and my heart yearned to believe him, but I stayed its errant beat. Before I Spared, I begged, “If I Spare you, will you talk to me? I really, really need…” and then I started gasping and couldn’t finish the sentence.

Sans looked at me with a pleading air. “just lay down your weapon, kiddo. c’mon.”

I swiped at my sweaty forehead, my hand still clutching the knife. “It’s just…”

“hey,” Sans said. “i can’t do anything until you use your turn on this. you gotta choose.”

“Can’t you just… listen to me now?” I pleaded.

Sans closed his eyes, then opened them again. “are you saying… you don’t want to fight?”

I whimpered. “Sans, please…”

“if you don’t want to fight, just lay down your weapon,” Sans repeated. “otherwise… hey, i’m standing right here.” He spread his arms and winked. He looked as tired as I felt.

My knife clattered to the ground. I had to drop it, otherwise I would have had to swing. I didn’t know how I knew that. I just did. “Sans, you gotta listen to me,” I whispered, sinking to the floor.

His eyes were sympathetic, slightly crinkling at the edges as they smiled. “buddy. pal. of course we can talk. c’mere pal.”

I put my hands over my face, tensing in anticipation of what was to come. Even though I knew it was coming, it didn’t hurt any less. I was never really sure whether the bones actually hurt me physically of if it just felt like they did. Either way, that death was the most painful one than any I had encountered yet.

Third time was the charm… right?

It had to be.

I needed to stay Determined.

I needed to…

I needed…

If I didn’t stay Determined then Sans would die.

I couldn’t let it end like this.

Not with a broken world.

I fought my way up to Sans’s offer for the third time. It was getting easier to conserve my items each round. I didn’t need to eat the Butterscotch Pie OR the Instant Noodles this time around. My stomach was clenched so tightly that it ached.

“just lay down your weapon, and… well, my job will be a lot easier.”

Why did it hurt to see him so plaintive? Why did it put a knife through my soul? Was it because I knew of the betrayal so soon to come and how false that sincerity was? Or was it because the sincerity was true and this was his genuine resolution to the conflict? I had no way of knowing.

BECAUSE HE WOULDN’T FREAKING TALK TO ME!!!!!!

I told him so. Word for word I said, “You’re never going to listen to me, are you?”

He cocked his head. “what’re you talking about, bud? i’ll listen to you. just as soon as you lay down your weapon.”

I felt all my insides slump with dejection, hopelessness eating me up alive. I huffed a disbelieving laugh. “Even if I told you what was going on… even if I said there’s something or someone causing me to do this… why don’t you listen to me?”

Sans rubbed the base of his skull. A bead of sweat dribbled down his cheekbone. “someone causing you to do this? huh. well, if you wanna talk, just spare and then i’m all ears.”

I glared at his position, but I was too tired to put any real fire into the expression, so I channeled all my hostility into my tone. “You’re a liar, Sans,” I said, and I tossed the knife aside. I knelt on the ground. “A dirty rotten liar.”

“you’re sparing me? finally. buddy. pal. i know how hard it must be… to make that choice. to go back on everything you’ve worked up to.”

“Shut up,” I gritted, my head hanging so that my executioner was veiled behind a curtain of hair. “Just get it over with.”

“i want you to know… i won’t let it go to waste.” I heard a rustle of fabric. “…c’mere, pal.”

I revived with the taste of my previous agony still fresh on my lips. My despair had settled into something less acute. Now it was something hot and heavy like a ball of lead settled deep in my belly. I walked over and sat at the base of the wall, eyes gazing blankly at the Save Point glittering before me.

“I didn’t know what I got into…” I began to sing, my voice oppressed and quenched by the largeness of the chamber. “Somehow I can’t go back even if I really wanted to,

But what more can I do…?

Here at the end it’s just me and you.

I never wanted to play by all the rules.

A knife in hand, I’m playing out the part of the fool

So here we go, you can judge me thoroughly...

It’s too late for apologies.”

The words rang out from my soul itself and I sang into the empty chamber words that up until now had never resonated so hauntingly. I sang bitterly, longingly… every emotion I couldn’t express welled out in the song ‘Stronger Than You’. I stammered over the words I couldn’t quite remember, but then they rang all the louder when I recollected them. When I sang “Go ahead and hit me since you’re able,” my words bit like curses, but when I followed it up with the lines, “We know my Determination is unstable, I’m not even mad because I keep on dying, but I don’t even know why I’m trying,” I could feel my own desperation in each word.

Music began to play. Soft synth. The music in this world was resonating with me.

“This isn’t what I want, but it’s what I asked for –

Curiosity over all my morals.

I took away your perfect happy ending,

Resetting the world despite the warnings…”

And when I sang about being filled with LOVE, it rang into the stillness and was swallowed like a bug is swallowed by a beast, giving a futileness to my song that nothing can replicate.

“I know who you are,” I sang, abridging the words somewhat to add, “You don’t remember who I am. You know once in a timeline we had grown to be good friends…

But then I killed your brother…”

I trailed off into a whisper, the music dying down with me, then continued as I resumed with greater strength. “Then I killed your brother without giving him a chance… every time you throw me down I hope you kill me once again…”

I sang how the sin I could feel was unbearable. How if I could only hit him once it would be over, but the consequences would last forever.

I sang about how the flowers were in bloom as the birds would tell, how it was a beautiful day to be burning in Hell.

“You gave me advice, I chose genocide…” I trailed off and the strings silenced. “I don’t know how to make it right…” My voice finished in a tremulous acapella. I could’ve gone on to the final chorus, sung about either how I was stronger than him, or that I would give up for him, but neither of those were quite right. I didn’t want to be stronger than him. I couldn’t give up for him, no matter how I wanted to.

The room was silent. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cool, polished wall. When I opened them again I was already twenty-six steps across the room, the Other taking over again while I rested. I dutifully took back control, screwing up my remaining Determination to get me through this. No matter what it took, I wouldn’t let the Other throw the next strike. I wouldn’t let MYSELF throw the next strike. If that meant dying forever… well… I didn’t have anything better to do at the moment.

The problem with Megalovania is that it’s a very upbeat song. My adrenaline started pumping by the time the first note sounded. The good thing is that it kept me alive. The bad thing was that it stimulated the Other and I found myself throwing increasingly aggressive slashes and had to remind myself to tone it down a little, otherwise I might progress the Fight too far. And if we moved beyond that point, what stopped us from finishing the battle completely? As promising as that was beginning to sound, I drew my line in the sand. I would not step over it, no matter what.

Sans offered to Spare me. I Spared him in return, listening with clenched teeth and aching heart to his gentle words of encouragement before he struck me down. I revived. I walked. I fought again.

Once more Sans offered to Spare me. I had only eaten one Snowman Piece this time around. I Spared for my fifth time as he told me that he wouldn’t let my sacrifice go in vain. I was pretty high on HP this time around. This was going to hurt. When he opened his arms to me, I opened my own, gritting my teeth together and screwing my eyes closed, kneeling on the floor and making myself a splayed target for his projectiles.

But they didn’t come.

“ok, here’s the thing.”

My head jerked upright. He was saying something different. Had I possibly changed something? But what?

Sans was looking at me quizzically, almost angrily. It was a mood shift from the fake acceptance he had portrayed just two seconds ago. “i couldn’t help but notice, um… your hp balance is up above half. you have all of your items except one.” He blinked, sweat sliding off his skull. “which, uh, wouldn’t be such a big deal except… you clearly know what’s going to happen here.” He took his hand out of his pocket and the floor began to glow with a pale light, not unlike Undyne’s spear magic. I only looked at it sadly, expecting an execution any second.

“so, uh… as much as i hate to admit it… you’ve got me curious, kid.” Sans winked, and I felt a fleeting touch of familiarity in the gesture. “you have enough hp and items and everything to keep goin’. but… for some reason you stopped. i hate to ask it, but… how come?”

I licked my lips. “I can’t Reset,” I croaked.

Sans’s gaze was merciless. “well, that doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me, bucko.”

“No, but! I’m just stuck here. I can reload, but not Reset, so I’m stuck here in this endless loop! You keep killing me, and I keep dying, and then I get up and fight again, but I don’t want to finish the fight, but I can’t go back and fix everything!”

“well, um…” Sans suggested, hand still outstretched, “you could just die, you know?”

“No!” I insisted, wringing my hands. I dug my fists into my hair, kneeling before him like one would bow before a king. “I… please… can’t you help me? Or something? I just… I need to figure out what happened to me, and how to undo it.”

“welp, sorry to let you down, friendo.” Sans’s eyelights went out again. “i don’t make deals with murderers. and definitely not ones who’ve killed my brother.”

I gritted my teeth together, rocking forward on my knees for emphasis. “Isn’t there something I could do to prove it to you? Something…” My mind failed me. What could I do here in this empty world with only enough time manipulation to get me back to the last checkpoint?

Sans’s brow creased. Then he quirked one eye. “you said you could reload?”

I nodded and gestured behind me. “Yeah, but only back to up there.”

Sans put on a considering face. I was expecting at any moment for him to say ‘nah’ and for his attack to kill me yet again. But he seemed to all appearances to actually be considering my question. Finally, after a very long, suspenseful pause, he looked at me. “tell ya what,” he said at last. “you obviously have got some really weird stuff going on. now, if it were up to me, i wouldn’t care less. but, as it turns out, i’m one of the last ones left alive after your… escapade.” He grinned, but there was a glare seeded there. “so get this straight. this is a one-time offer. you get to the end of this fight. we both know how it’ll end. if you’re really serious about this thing, you’ll come back… er… ‘reload’, and talk to me. if not. well. the fight’s over either way.”

“Really?” I propped my hands on the floor in a half-risen position. “If I… end the fight, you’ll listen to me? You’ll figure out a way to help me?”

Sans smirked in return. “like i said. one time offer.”

“Will you remember?” I asked anxiously, a new-budding Determination beginning to seed. “When I come back, you’ll know for sure that’s what you said?”

He just looked at me.

“Can you promise me? Please?”

Bones shot up from the floor and my whole world was alight with pain. My soul shattered, but through the blackness of nonexistence I heard him say:

“sure kid. i promise.”

When I woke up at the Save Point, I wasted no time standing around. My steps were so quick this time that I got to the end in forty-two steps.

Blink.

“You told me something, Sans,” I said before he had the chance to speak. “You said in the last run that if I defeat you and come back to this point, you’ll listen to me. You promised. You’d try to help me.”

Sans closed his eyes, letting out a small laugh. “heh. well, you do know what happened to the last promise i tried to keep, don’tcha, buddy?”

“You’ve given me hope,” I returned, ignoring him for now. “So this time, I won’t be holding back.”

Sans’s eyelights fixed on me. “now that’s interesting.” His eyes went dark. “i was about to say the same thing.”

The fight began for real.

Chapter Text

Chapter 28

I fought my way through the first half with ease. By now I had memorized it like a dance. The attack patterns had seared their way into my head. I doubted I could forget them now if I tried. But here came something unknown: the other half of the battle.

My heartbeat sped up as Sans gave his normal spiel on friendship and how I should just give up, how it would make his job easier. On my turn I pulled the Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie out of my inventory and ate it. My HP shot up to maximum, but I doubted it would stay there long. My hand gripped the knife and I swept it forward, clenching my jaw so hard it made my ears ring. Sans dodged, of course. I didn’t expect the knife to connect. I would have been shocked if it had.

Sans’s browbone raised in a look of slightly amused surprise. “woah, you look REALLY pissed off,” he remarked. He shook his head, chuckling, and his eyes darkened. “did i getcha?”

My grip on the knife tightened. “Multiple times,” I said between gritted teeth.

“well, if you came back anyway…” Sans shrugged. “…i guess that means we never really WERE friends, huh?”

Liquid anger surged through my veins. Every strike he had thrown in my direction, every bitter word… none of it was as sharp and pointed as this. His shrug and lazy gaze was only fuel on the flaring fire of my anger. If my mind had been fast enough to concoct a phrase of pure poison and my tongue quick enough to spit it out, I would have without a second’s hesitation. Despite my large HP balance, covered in dust with a knife in my hand, in that moment I felt he most powerless I had ever felt in my life, faced with this untouchable tyrant who, despite his venomous words, spoke of things he didn’t know anything about. How dare he count friendship based on who lived and died? How dare he speak as if he knew what had happened? He didn’t KNOW! He didn’t…

He didn’t… he didn’t know. He couldn’t remember what I had said, and he didn’t know. All he knew was that the destroyer of the Underground was before him and that he was the only defense. So as unfair as it seemed, I swallowed his words like acid, forcing myself to take the blame. For those reasons alone I would spare him a little grace.

Sans didn’t seem to notice my harsh expression, giving only a single, unamused chuckle. “don’t tell the other sans-es, ok?”

I didn’t have enough time to puzzle out what he meant by ‘other Sans-es’, because then the music burst in at full swing and Sans took his turn. I soon became very glad that I ate that pie, because I needed every shred of HP that I could muster.

Sans jumped me through shortcuts. I could feel my feet leave the floor and every time I opened my eyes we were in another position, bones hurtling toward me from who-knew-what position. I was rammed this way and that as I tried to avoid them. Even when it was technically my turn, a bone jumped between me and my knife, which had spun away from me in the kerfuffle.

From here on out, the battle only became harder. Gaster Blasters from every direction. More platforms with bones coming from unexpected directions. He even began to slam me against the walls and ceiling. If I didn’t move in time, a wave of bones would spring out and stab me. Just trying to position myself as gravity rotated so that I wasn’t smashed against the wall was hard enough. Regaining my footing quickly so that I could jump off and avoid the bones made it ten times harder. Plus, being rammed HURT. Not in a magical attack kind of way. In a oh look, ‘I’m bleeding now isn’t that swell’ kind of way. In a way, it made it even worse that my blood was the only thing that showed color in an Encounter. It made it seem like there was a lot more of it even when I only had a scratch.

Even when it was my turn Sans kept the bones coming. I had to dodge through an attack just to get to my knife, which would be knocked out of my hand each time. Once I accidentally kicked the knife aside, which I guess counted as Spare because Sans counted it as my turn ended and blasted me into oblivion. I really hated him then.

Every time I died I would march the forty-eight steps back, stopping on the forty-ninth when Sans appeared. I would grit my teeth in anticipation, my stomach curling up into a hard ball beneath my ribs, and we would fight again. And again. And again.

My exasperation grew as my attempts were time and time again rendered futile. No matter how fast I was, he was faster. No matter how I jumped to the side his attacks would come from a direction I wouldn’t expect. I was never the nimblest of humans and although being driven on Soul Power through an Encounter helped a little bit, it still wasn’t enough. The Other was still in the back of my brain and I didn’t try to resist Them anymore. Whenever I felt Them take over, I let it happen. Whenever They swung my arm on my turn, knife pointed toward Sans’s chest, I let Them swing. Right now I needed all the help I could get and honestly I didn’t have the attention to spare fighting Them as well as him.

Just like on the first half of the battle, Sans’s words were beginning to blend together. “sounds strange, but before all of this i was secretly hoping we could be friends,” he would say. “i always thought the anomaly was doing this because they were unhappy. and when they got what they wanted, they would stop all this.”

You don’t know, Sans. You don’t know and you won’t allow me to tell you what you don’t know.

“and maybe all they needed was… i dunno. some good food, some bad laughs, some nice friends.”

It’s your fault, Sans. I can’t place all the blame on you, but it’s your fault that I’m still fighting. Not mine. Yours.

“but that’s ridiculous, right?” he’d say with a scoff, expression turning hard again after a brief moment of pensive musing. “yeah, you’re the type of person who won’t EVER be happy.”

Says you. Says the person who won’t let me Spare. Who won’t let me leave.

“you’ll keep consuming timelines over and over, until… well.” He’d spread his hands. “hey. take it from me, kid. someday… you gotta learn when to QUIT.”

You quit first. You quit. You don’t understand, do you, Sans? You don’t let me explain to you what you don’t understand!

“and that day’s TODAY.”

But when? Please, God, just let it stop! Let it end! Set me free from this hell! What have I done that I deserve this? If I could Reset it all, I would, Sans! But even if you knew that you wouldn’t care. All you want is for the anomaly to be over – all you want is for me to die!

“cause… y’see…” by now Sans was panting and sweat was rolling down his face. “all this fighting is really tiring me out.”

I’m covered in blood, Sans. Don’t you think I’m freaking tired, too?

“and if you keep pushing me… then i’ll be forced to use my special attack.”

Use it already! Let it end!

“yeah, my special attack. sound familiar? well, get ready. ‘cause after the next move, i’m going to use it. so if you don’t want to see it, now would be a good time to die.”

I want to see it. I want to get through with it.

“well, here goes nothing. survive THIS and i’ll show you my special attack!”

Then would follow the most terrifying attack of all. I would gather my battered form just in time for him to slam it again against the walls. I would push off just in time to have the bones miss me… or not. My soul would turn red again and I would feel the joy of weightlessness as I cycled through another attack, bones moving in an up-and-down pattern at an unfair speed. Then my soul would turn blue and gravity would shift so that the hall tipped up on end, the box the battle took place in elongating to touch the farthest wall of the room. Sans, standing on what was now the wall since gravity had flipped for me, warped in and out of space, changing positions each time I saw him. Which wasn’t much, since I was using most of my concentration to dodge attacks.

A wave of bones with a very thin safe path, which then constricted to the thinnest circumference. I had to make my body thin and straight as an arrow, tucking my chin in and praying for the perfect positioning. Then bones sticking out from the walls that I would see from a mile off, but would come so quickly that they would strike me before I could blink.

Then the room would end at last and I would land, knees cracking in protest, on the far wall. But only for a second, because the wall beneath my feet would flash and I had to jump to avoid being hit. Shortcut after shortcut would hit, then, and I learned not to try to reorient myself, not to try and discover whether I was on the wall, or the ceiling, or the floor, because wherever I was the bones would strike from below. Just jump up, straight up from where I was standing, and maybe I get aloft in time.

My heart would be switched from blue to red again in the space that it took to blink. Gaster Blasters would surround me in an all-encompassing circle, the ones facing the other firing at the same time so that they formed a pinwheel of doom, which seemed easy enough to get past at first, before you realized how fast the brutes were. They sped up, so no matter if you thought you were fast enough, they were faster. And the closer you got to the crossed beams, the more they scorched you. The more you lost HP. The more you killed yourself. The more you died.

The first time I reached the Gaster Blaster attacks and died, I wailed when I revived. That was his final attack. I knew it. I remembered that one from Jack’s playthrough and from the countless animations I had seen. I had already died so many times on this turn!

But I got back up and marched back to place. And died again. Marched back, died again. Marched back. Died. Again.

It was so hard. SO. HARD.

I couldn’t keep up. I couldn’t stop them from burning me.

They were too fast. How much HP had I lost already? Even though I forced myself to greater speeds, I could feel the heat of the blasters boring into my back.

Had to keep going. Had to… keep…

I was yanked out of the air like a marionette whose strings had been grabbed by a rowdy child. My soul – now blue – felt like it was being clenched in an invisible fist. I was slammed against wall, ceiling, and floor, so quickly that I couldn’t find my feet. My ears were ringing. My teeth clacked against one another and I raised my arms to try and anticipate the ground. I had no breath left in my lungs. Black spots ranged in front of my eyes.

At first I thought I was blacking out because the thumps were becoming less painful, but no. The grip on my soul was less then it had been. I felt myself be slid down the wall before I collapsed in a mangled mess on the ground, my soul raising me up to a kneeling position as it regained its red hue. It forced me to face Sans, who emerged slowly out of the darkness of my dazed vision. Through the pain I could see him, the dark of his jacket contrasting with the white of his skull in this bleached version of reality – this Encounter in which I had spent so little time, but so much time in a repeated loop. He looked weary. Bone-tired, he might’ve called it at a different point. Sweat dripped down his skull. I put my hand up to my own head and pulled my hand away red. Blood and sweat mixed with dust in the palm of my hand. Everything was burning.

Sans gasped for breath. We both did. Now that the music was gone, the sound of our indrawn breaths were all you could hear in the Judgement Hall.

“all right,” Sans said at last. “that’s it. it’s time for my special attack.”

I tried to let out a whimper or a moan, but my chest was too much on fire. Even though I knew that that had been his last real attack – it HAD to be! The game couldn’t lie about this! – some niggling part of me doubted. I was down to one HP. If he even threw one stroke, I was as good as dead. We were the same now, he and I. Either one of us, we who had lost everything, could kill the other with a single stroke. The thought was nauseating.

Could I stand? A part of me that insisted that things would feel better if you moved told me to raise my soul a little and put my feet on the ground. I tried and everything lanced with pain. When the pain cleared I tried again, just stretching a little bit. I stayed aloft, toes barely touching the floor.

“are you ready? here goes nothing.”

I was tired. So tired. But not too tired to be cautious. I stayed alert for any sign of movement.

But nothing happened.

“yep,” said Sans. “that’s right. it’s literally nothing. and it’s not going to be anything, either.” He laughed, but it held the same maniacal energy I had felt fighting for my life a few minutes ago. “ya get it? i know i can’t beat you. one of your turns… you’re just gonna kill me. so, uh, i’ve decided… it’s not gonna BE your turn. ever.” He shifted himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “i’m just gonna keep having MY turn until you give up. even if it means standing here until the end of time. capiche?”

The chill of his dark, lightless stare abated and I settled myself down on the floor. I still couldn’t make a peep, even though I opened my mouth in a soundless yelp as my knees gave way. I felt like I was bruised all over, but my shirtsleeves and pant legs covered most of my skin. I couldn’t tell how bad the damage was. Was the blood on my pants from the legs beneath, or had it come from somewhere else?

“you’ll get bored here,” Sans pointed out. “if you haven’t gotten bored already, i mean. and then, you’ll finally quit.”

Shut up, I thought, clenching my teeth. A second later I got my wish and I brooded in silence. I was probably supposed to be thinking about what to do next, but at the moment I was just happy to have a moment where I was not being trounced.

“i know your type,” Sans spoke up again after a moment or two of quiet. “you’re, uh, very determined, aren’t you?”

I listened to him, even though I hated every second of it. Through the gratefulness of a quiet moment, resentment simmered just below the surface. Behind closed lips, I clenched my teeth. Even though I was too tired to be truly angry like I was before, I didn’t want to be here in front of him covered in blood and dust. And here he was acting like I did.

He was getting tired. I could see it in his poise. In his eyes. He started to yawn halfway through a sentence. I could feel myself tensing as his eyelids drooped shut. I was like a wild beast waiting to spring. He was almost there. His blink was longer than normal. Almost there. His eyes were closed now.

Almost there.

Ghostly ‘z’s began to appear above Sans’s head and I let out a huff of relief. Done. He was done. It was over. He was sleeping while standing up, the spectral letters wafting away toward the ceiling, disappearing like mist in morning light. Placing my hands flat against the floor, I pushed myself into a standing position, grimacing at all the little pains that made themselves known as soon as I left my position.

Where was my knife? It seemed that Sans had taken me back to the original position we had started in when we began this battle. Halfway down the corridor. It took me far too long to find the thing, flung up against the side of a pillar to my left. The good news was that I could see it. The bad news was that it was out of the square.

I tiptoed my way to the square’s perimeter, placing my hand against the flat, transparent barrier that kept me contained. I knew how this went in the game, but I wondered… would it be the same if I could get to the knife?

My curiosity prompted me and I began to push against the side of the square. Reluctantly it began to shift. Excitement grew in my chest as I leaned forward, using my full body weight to scrape it forward, keeping an eye on the sleeping skeleton as I did so just in case he happened to wake up.

Finally I was close enough. I scooped up the blade and the square dispelled completely. There was nothing between me and Sans. It was now officially my turn.

But now what? Sans had told me to finish the fight. If so… I had to strike, didn’t I?

But I didn’t want to. Even after everything that had happened, even after how many times I had died, taking that swing would still be wrong. Not without a certain measure of justice, but still wrong.

He was sleeping. I inched forward, feeling as if every footstep was the equivalent of a clap of thunder. He didn’t stir. He was very, VERY deeply asleep.

I raised my blade. I wouldn’t hit him. I wouldn’t even aim for him. I’d just whiff it past him, kinda. Aim for the red at the very end of the Fight meter. Then, at the end with neither of us dead… what else was he gonna do?

I solidified this thought in my head. Screwed up my Determination.

Slash.

Sure enough, in a second’s notice he dodged, eyes wide open again as if he was never asleep to begin with. A mocking light shone in both eyes and he snorted a laugh. He started to say something but I couldn’t hear it. Everything was swallowed up in a dull roar of all-consuming rage. I had never felt anger this strong before. The equivalent of all the irritation, all the stress, all the pain of the repeated time loop echoed in my ears and I wasn’t aware of my own actions. I didn’t acknowledge the step I took until it was made. Didn’t hear the sound of metal on bone until it rang in my ears. Didn’t comprehend the strike I had just made until the numbness faded and I felt the tingle in my fingers. For once, the knife had struck its mark.

Sans and I stood facing one another for a second, both of our eyes wide open as we realized in tandem what had just happened. His pupils were mere pricks of light. His legs gave way and he fell to the floor, red statistical numbers flashing above his head, stating the damage that had been delt. I staggered back a step, every muscle rigid. My brain couldn’t compute. It was like I was watching a movie.

Sans sat there, a small bundle of bones wrapped in clothing, holding a hand to his wound. Red liquid began to well from the gash on his front and trickle from between his clenched teeth. Whether it was blood or not, I couldn’t tell. His mitten was soon stained.

His eyes fixed on me. I couldn’t even tell what expression my own face was wearing. What was he seeing? Then he looked down at his own feet, splayed out in front of him. “so…” he murmured, looking back up at me again. All of his vengeful spirit was gone. He just looked weak. And tired. And sad. “guess that’s it, huh?”

I didn’t want this. This wasn’t what I wanted.

His eyes closed and a grimace crossed his face. “just… don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

Stop speaking so slowly, Sans. Please…

He stood, a hand still clapped to his stained chest. His eyes were still closed. “welp.” One eye opened in a wink and he gave me a ghost of that old smile. “i’m going to grillby’s.”

Sans walked past me, every step faltering, yet proud. His slipper-clad feet made little shuffling noises on the ground. I couldn’t watch. Couldn’t turn to watch him go. A pain was growing in my chest like pressure welling up in a corked bottle. I knew what he was going to say next. I hated to hear it and inside begged NOT to hear it. But the words came anyway.

“papyrus,” his voice echoed back to me, “do you want anything?”

There was no noise. No sound of shuffling feet. Silence in the black-and-white world of the Encounter.

And then my LV jumped to 20.

I’m sorry if you know what a scream of agony sounds like. I’m sorry if you know how it feels when it rips out of your throat, sending you to your knees. Some beasty aspect of humanity comes alive when you make a noise like that, some animalistic sound that a human throat should never have to produce. A cry of despair so acute, so piercing, that no physical pain can replicate it. I felt that pain now.

The leap of euphoria surged in my system as my LV raised conflicted strongly with my inner feelings. I raged against it as desperately as I had fought Sans just a moment ago. I beat my fists against the ground, shrieking with inhuman cries, pushing against that internal stopper that wouldn’t allow me to shed tears. Something broke inside and the dam burst. I put my hands up to my eyes, baptizing my bloody, grimy fingers, my heart feeling like it was shattering. And believe me when I say that I knew what that felt like. Even though he had been the one who had caused that to happen, now it broke again for him.

I was moving. The Encounter had faded and my feet were under me and I was MOVING. I gave another shriek, this one of rebellion, and slammed myself down to the ground, curling in on myself like a hedgehog, spines out. Not this. Not now. I crammed my fists into my eyes, shaking with sobs which hurt to come.

Get up.

No. I heaved another sob, hands above my head, pulling at my hair.

You need to keep moving.

No, I don’t!

Get up, you idiot.

I suddenly realized that what I had thought was my own internal thoughts was something different. I was hearing another voice in my head. I was hearing the Other.

You, I thought venomously, glaring out at the golden hall, pushing myself off the ground with a clenched fist.

Oh, don’t act so childish, the Other snapped. Your victory is at hand and yet you lay here, a petulant mess on the ground. Pathetic.

You… you…

I couldn’t think what I wanted to say. Just that my self-inflicted anger and sadness now had another target.

Don’t act like you didn’t want this.

“I don’t,” I spat out loud, my voice coming out choked and raw.

Liar. All you do is lie. To them. To yourself. But you can’t lie to me. You know what you wanted when you pushed that True Reset button.

“I didn’t… want this…” I whispered through another sob.

Stop lying! The presence of the Other constricted around my soul. It was as if They were actually in the room with me and were shaking me by the shoulders. You wanted this fight to happen. You wanted to emerge victorious. And why? Because you were curious. Because you wanted to see if you could. Like in the song you were singing earlier, what was it? ‘Curiosity over all my morals’?

Behind my closed eyelids I could almost, ALMOST see a face. Featureless, but I knew what features they would hold if I could see it clearly. I would see my face.

That curiosity that created the DETERMINATION to bring this place into being. It was strong – strong enough to create two parallel timestreams. One for you, and another empty one where your curiosity could have its way. That curiosity… that Determination… that’s me, Emily.

When she said my name, a tremor passed through my body. I hadn’t said it once to a single person in this world, in either timeline.

Do you understand?

I didn’t. I didn’t understand anything.

You can’t lie to me because I AM you. I’m the part of you that wanted this. During your other timeline, and here I could feel her frowning in disgust, the wish to see what might’ve happened still prevailed. The same soul in two separate timelines brought together by the strongest of desires. Determination brought us back together.

“No,” I argued. “YOU brought me here to this timeline!”

She snorted. I did nothing. Our souls are the same soul, simply separated in an anomaly that occurred when you entered this world. One timeline would have to collapse one time or another and the soul rejoined. But your simple good intentions and good will were no match for Curiosity.

I could feel her smirking. And then frowning. She was clearly on top of things, but I disgusted her.

It was always you, my Curiosity continued. No matter how much you want to place the blame… it was always you. But now… no one says it has to be a bad thing. You are so close to your goal! She raised up my head and let me take a look at the opposite wall, the doorway to the King’s chamber now unguarded.

Finish what you’ve started. There’s only the two of them left.

Flowey and Asgore’s faces danced in my vision. I had never seen Asgore before face-to-face, but I knew what to expect. I was on hands and knees, but I clenched my fists, shaking my head vigorously. “No. No.”

No? What do you mean, no? My Curiosity was irritated.

“I don’t want this. I w… I want Sans to be back.”

What, so he can just kill you again? Give it up, Emmy. He’s never going to listen to you!

Emmy. The pet name my family called me. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. I shook my head again and rose to my feet. “He promised,” I whispered.

You’re not going to erase all this. YOU wanted this. YOU asked for this to happen. It’s YOUR FAULT that things ended up this way! Stop being such a baby and finish what you started!

Let me go! I struggled against her influence. She tried to pull my legs toward the door, but I wouldn’t let her. Inside something was burning. My Curiosity felt it too, because I could feel her unease begin to grow. It was the knowledge that I was telling the truth. I DIDN’T want to go any farther. All I had wanted when I pressed the Reset button was to get to the Sans fight. I didn’t truly want to erase the world. I didn’t even want to go beyond the doorway. With no more curiosity, my Determination found a new master.

Don’t you want to go home? she screeched. The ending is right there! Aren’t you curious? Don’t you want to see how it ends?

I know how it ends, I thought, struggling even harder. And I don’t want it to end that way.

The Reset button. I could see it now. Whether it was simply in my mind or if it had truly appeared before me, I wasn’t sure. But as hard as my Curiosity tried to restrain me, I struggled forward. I didn’t merely want to reload anymore. I could undo everything. The knowledge that I could make everything right again, the knowledge that this is what I truly wanted to do…

It filled me with Determination.

I pressed the button.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29

The entire world deconstructed around me. For a moment I swam in a sea of destroyed particles. Out of the darkness white letters appeared: A name has already been chosen. Chara. And a prompt appeared below it: Yes or No.

Yes.

The world reconnected its pieces, and I fell.

A second later I opened my eyes and sat upright. Golden flowers. I was sitting in a bed of golden flowers. I let out a half-crazed laugh and stood, hardly believing what I was seeing. It couldn’t possibly be true. It simply couldn’t happen in real life!

But here I was in the flowerpatch. Socks, no shoes. Striped shirt. LV 1. HP 20/20.

I had Reset.

I launched myself into a partial trot, heading for the exit of the cavern. My body wasn’t hurting anymore. I felt no conflict within me.

But no no no, this couldn’t be real! It was too good to be true!

Flowey. He sat illuminated by a single sunbeam. He turned to me as I approached, a grin on his face. “Really, Chara?” he mocked. For some reason it didn’t seem strange to me that he spoke of he past run. After all, it had just happened. His grin deepened. “Well, do what you will. I’ll be waiting for you!”

With this cryptic information, he popped underground. I stood staring at the place where he had disappeared, a cold pit growing in my stomach. It HAD all happened. He remembered. I remembered. Even if I had undone what I had done, there were still consequences for my actions. There had to be.

A soft shuffling noise grew from the opposite side of the cavern. A shadow grew, developing into Toriel, who came to stand where Flowey just disappeared.

Toriel. Alive. My heart twisted in my chest just to see her, joy intertwining with guilt as I looked at her. She smiled at me, oh so gently.

“Hello…” she greeted. “You must be so lost and confused…”

I gasped in a breath. Then another. I started hyperventilating. Then I started crying, dropping to my knees and bringing a hand to my face, turning away from the good lady who I had murdered in cold blood, in a single hit… who now had no memory of who I was. Or who I had been.

“Oh… oh dear…” I heard her come to stoop beside me. “There is no need to be afraid, my child.” She tried to pull my hands away from my face, but I wouldn’t let her. I couldn’t accept her kindness. Not after what had happened. Not after what I had done.

I gritted my teeth and forced myself to look at her through tear-filled eyes. I could only keep my gaze locked for a second. She looked so worried and caring. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I was sorry for many things, crying in her presence among them. I shook my head back and forth, looking down at her dress to avoid looking higher. For a while that was all I could repeat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so… so sorry.”

“Dear…” Toriel drew me close hesitantly as if afraid that her touch would startle me. I wrapped my arms around her, around that waist that had once held the mark of my blade, held it so tightly that I could believe I was holding her together, keeping her from shattering into dust. I wept into the Delta Rune stitched into her robe, feeling my heart tremble and holding her tighter. She made little shushing noises above me, stroking my hair. She was a lifeline.

In a moment, I forced my sobbing to end. This wasn’t right. I shouldn’t be doing this. She didn’t know and I couldn’t tell her. I let go and sat back, although it was a hard thing to do.

“There now,” Toriel said consolingly. “That’s a little better, isn’t it? I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through here every day to see if anyone has fallen down.” She was still kneeling beside me. She put a hand on my leg. “You are the first human to come here in a long time.”

I clenched my teeth together and gasped in a shuddering breath. If I tried to speak, more tears would come.

“I will do my best to protect you in this time,” Toriel added. I could feel her smiling, even though I wasn’t looking at her.

Another wave of sorrow swept through me as I leaned toward her hand. Would you, Toriel? Would you really when it is you who should need protecting? You’re back, but you were lost in the first place, Toriel. Lost through my misdeeds. Lost through my curiosity and my will. Killed by my hand.

She took my elbow and raised me to my feet. “Come!” she said, her voice gentle yet cheerful as she wiped away my tears with a soft paw. “I shall guide you through the catacombs.”

Toriel padded away and the loss of her touch was like a winter thaw. Yet, somehow, it was welcoming to not be in her sights again.

Even though I probably shouldn’t have, I Reset again. I didn’t want my first meeting with Toriel to be filled with tears and half-concealed regret. She deserved better than that. I warred with myself for a little while, wondering if I should, but ultimately decided that I had done far, far worse by this point. It was alright to be a little selfish, just this once. I could’ve just reloaded, but the fear that my last Save Point, that at the Judgement Hall, was still somehow active made me opt for a full Reset instead.

Flowey didn’t appear in his place. Toriel came forward and began to talk, her face full of welcome, but no recognition. My insides trembled, but I tried to act like everything was alright. I paid apt attention to her words, trying not to listen to my inner thoughts or give heed to random pangs of emotion.

I followed Toriel out of the room and into the Ruins.

I am not skilled at concealing my emotions. I’d like to think that I am, but I’m not. My secret wish that someone will ask what is wrong is always predominant and my acting skills tend to fail when I’m sad. So even though I tried to keep a pleasant outward appearance, I’m sure I worried Toriel a bit by my downcast demeanor. I smiled whenever she locked eyes with me, but her presence in the room was a dagger to my soul. When she looked at me I felt like I would burst from pressurized guilt.

I tried to fixate myself on the music. It was cheerful. Happy. I tried to let it guide my mood but my mood was unswayed. I couldn’t wait for Toriel to leave.

She did, eventually, after handing me her old cellphone and bidding me to be good. Oh dear lady, do you not know you’ve bidden me to do that once, twice before? That I’ve failed on the grandest scheme?

What will I do now? I asked myself, sitting down with my back against a column. Toriel had asked me to stay and although I must move some time or another this seemed like as good a resting place as any. My goal from the beginning hadn’t really changed – get to the end of the game the pacifist way and go home – but it already seemed like ages since I had BEEN home. The part of my brain that had Reset reminded me that it had only been a day, only hours, really since I had been summoned into the game. But I was a different person than the one who had just fallen into the Underground. That person had been innocent. Naive. Delighted to be interacting with her favorite characters in one of her favorite videogames, still reeling from the knowledge that this all was real. Whereas I… I was a murderer.

What? I might as well say it. There was no other word to describe what I had become. I had slaughtered the innocent. I had razed through those who had tried to help me. My hands had been coated in their dust. I could try to blame it on my Curiosity, claiming her as my alter-ego who acted in a way opposite to everything I would do, but… trying to pin the blame on her seemed cheap. Like pinning the blame on Chara or Frisk.

I had thought about it, back when I was on the other side of the screen. I had thought about acting like Chara was possessing me, using make up or glitching effects or something like that. But deep down I had always known that it wasn’t Chara’s fault. It wasn’t even Frisk’s fault. Frisk had no say in any matter because I was the one behind the controller. Whatever event was put into play, whatever catalyst was launched, it was the player’s fault. MY fault. When watching the first episode of Glitchtale, it was weird for me to see Frisk or Chara fighting for control of the Reset power. It had always been my power. Frisk was filled with my will, inseparable from me, but that power belonged to me alone as the player. As had the power of choice. A power I had sorely misused.

There was no inner knowledge of mine to help me cope with my actions. No character I could think of had ever gone through such a quandary as this. I had always thought of myself as a Bilbo Baggins, shoved into a situation but (hopefully) getting stronger as the trials of the adventure broke against me. But this? Bilbo never went through this! If Bilbo had gone through his adventure slowly killing off his companions and then found a way to start the story over again, THAT would be more like my predicament! I went through story after story, but no good character inexplicably going evil and having to climb their way back up from the pit from whence they had dug themselves came to mind. Wheatley was the closest comparison, but even then if you were good with test chambers and were quick on the draw with a portal gun he never actually murdered you. And he never had the chance to make it right, either, and at least I had that chance.

Even so, a moron is what I was. A bloody, bloody moron.

With this thought I stood up and left the room. I could only take so much self-punishment before I started crying again and my throat was already feeling tight. Crying would have to wait until later. I couldn’t come to Goat Mom with my eyes red and bloodshot. She’d see through that in an instant. And what if a Froggit saw me, huh? He’d report it to his Froggit buddy, who’d report it to the Whimsun and the Loox and by midnight the entire scope of the Ruins would be twittering about the red-eyed human who was wandering the Underground, looking as soppy as Napstablook. So I gave myself a slap in the face that I felt was well-deserved and marched out to find Toriel’s house. On the way, between Encounters, I kept up my train of thoughts.

Sans. I would have to see Sans. The thought made my insides twist. Would he kill me as soon as he saw me? I would deserve it. I had deserved every hit he threw at me. But when his sockets would look at me, would they narrow in recognition? Would his eyelights go out and would he grind out his speech with his hands clenched in his pockets? I didn’t believe for a second that he wouldn’t have some sense of familiarity when he saw me, even if none would show on his face.

If he didn’t recognize me… would I keep my mouth closed? Or let him know everything?

Yes. Yeah, I’d tell him. There was barely any hesitation in my mind as I came to that decision. I needed to tell SOMEONE. Secret keeping was not my strong suit. Other people’s secrets, sure. Not my own. Maybe not all to the same person, and maybe not brought up more than once, but not much was kept from those who I knew dearly. I wanted Sans to know. I NEEDED Sans to know. I didn’t know how he would take it. I doubted that he’d ever trust me again. But I needed to tell him.

Plus, and this was something I thought of a bit later when trying to think up a more substantial reason for telling Sans the truth, what if the visions returned? What if my Curiosity still existed in a separate timeline? I doubted it, but what if I simply wasn’t attuned to her presence anymore? What if this thing was still happening? If that was the case, I couldn’t keep battling it on my own anymore. I would need Sans’s help to shut down her timeline, make it so that our soul was permanently joined. Or, at least, keep me from falling into that trap again before it was too late.

I walked into Toriel’s house with a ribbon in my hair and a Spider Donut in my inventory. I had let the Toy Knife lie where it was. Just the look of it made me sick. Even though Toriel had needed to heal me, the attacks of the Ruin dwellers seemed absurdly straightforward compared to Sans’s buffeting.

The house smelled like cinnamon and butterscotch. I acted surprised when Toriel told me about the pie she was making and followed her dutifully to my ‘new’ room. Her hand was a warm weight as she settled it on my head, smoothing my hair before rushing off to tend to the pie.

I sponged myself off and removed my grimy socks, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at the tidily-kept room for the third time. Could I even call it the third when times one and two had happened at the same time?

I popped back out of the room. “Hey, Toriel?” I called, peeping into the living room where Toriel was already settled down in her chair. “I’m gonna go to bed now, if that’s okay.” Might as well be considerate and tell her I was dropping off.

Toriel gave me a warm smile. “Very well, my child. The pie will be ready when you awake.”

I thanked her and scurried back. As I turned off the lamp a new wave of self-loathing hit me and I curled in the blankets. Might as well have a good, quiet cry. The shower was the preferred tear zone, due to the loudness of the water, but eh, a muffling pillow could work just as well. I always found that a good cry helped release pent-up emotions. Helped me work through some things. But… oh God, had anyone ever gone through something like this?

How could I return home the way I was now? How could I face my family? They would never believe me if I told them that upon entering the video game Underale I had been driven by my own curiosity to slaughter every inhabitant in the underground. Even if I could convince them of the first part, the second would horrify them. Shatter their trust. And how could I tell them of the first part and leave out the second? I was known to omit details now and again, but this secret would definitely come back to bite me some day, if I could keep it that long.

I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t tell ANY of them when I got out of here. It was my secret to keep. Forever.

This I thought through, and other things as well as I lay curled up against the wall, blanket pulled up to my ears, pillow clenched between my arms becoming steadily damper as my tears fell. I clamped my teeth together and made my ragged breaths as quiet as they could be. Even though my heart screamed with pain and my throat ached with compressed sobs, I was determined Toriel would not hear a thing. The music in the room, which had changed to a chiming music-box version of what I was pretty sure was called ‘Home’ in the soundtrack, dulled to a slowed, solemn version of the Encounter tune. It fit the mood rather well, I thought.

Trapped in a wet mass of blankets and pillows I sobbed myself to sleep, but even then I wasn’t still. I’ve never been one for having nightmares, but tonight they plagued me. I dreamed of dust in a whirling sandstorm descending on me. I kept trying to wash it off, afraid someone would see me, but it just kept sticking to my hands, my arms, my body. I breathed it in my mouth. Choaked. It kept coming.

Then I realized that everyone I had slain, from that first Froggit to Sans were the ones throwing the dust. They were gouging it out of their own bodies and throwing it at me. Some of them, like Papyrus and Toriel, thought it was a game. They were pitching their handfuls of dust like baseballs, jeering. Others, like Shyren and Ronnie, cast theirs at me in disgust, hardly bearing to look at me as they did so. The last group, those led by Undyne and Sans, flung their dust as if it could kill. As if they WANTED it to kill. I couldn’t hear a word any of them were saying, but I knew they were mocking.

Flowey’s vines wrapped around my arms, forcing me to become a bigger target. I couldn’t make a sound. I couldn’t call out to anyone. I was being smothered, stifled by the dust!

And then Toriel was beside me and I was in bed again, flailing as if I was falling. Even then I wasn’t convinced that I wasn’t covered in white powder, no matter how hard Toriel tried to convince me there was nothing on me. It wasn’t until she held up my hands in front of my eyes that my senses returned and I realized where I was. Even though I had all but exhausted my tears before drifting off, my short sleep must’ve replenished my supply, which I exhausted again as Toriel held me close.

She brought me a drink of water and I went to sleep again. I had many more nightmares that night, but none so vivid as the first. It was a relief when I woke up and found it to be morning.

Toriel had left me a plate of pie on the floor, but I had no appetite. Just thinking about eating it reminded me of the Judgement Hall and how many times I had consumed it there. The thought of dusty grit in my mouth mixed with the sweet taste of butterscotch and cinnamon made my insides twist. I put the pie in my inventory.

Blearily pulling on the boots Toriel had given me, I Saved outside, feeling the reassuring wash of Determination. I needed to press forward as soon as possible. Nodding to myself, I marched back indoors.

Toriel looked up at my approach. “Good morning, my child,” she greeted with a beaming smile over her reading spectacles.

“Hey, Toriel.”

She inspected my face. “Feeling any better this morning?”

“Eh. Not so much.” I slumped into the nearby dining room chair. “I… uh… wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Of course, my child.” She looked pleased. “But first… I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you… but I have always wanted to be a teacher.”

I had heard this before. Twice, in fact. Even though I should have been feeling sorrier for her plight, more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. If I didn’t keep going I would drive myself mad.

“Actually, perhaps that isn’t very surprising. STILL.” She made a face before resuming her beaming smile. “I am glad to have you living here. Oh, right! You wished to speak to me about something.” And she waited patiently for me to begin.

I could feel my forehead begin to wrinkle as I searched for tactful words. “Toriel… I thank you for your hospitality. You have been so… SO wonderful… and gracious to me. But…” and here came the tricky part. “I need to keep going,” I said, looking her in the eyes. “I need to leave the Underground.”

“Leave?” Her shocked expression was like a punch to the chest. I almost relinquished my words. “This… this is your home now!” She gripped the book in her hands, making frantic motions with her trembling fingers. “Um… how about an exciting snail fact? Did you know that snails… make terrible shoelaces? Interesting!”

“Toriel…” I needed to say this. I needed to get the words out. But the only thing that came was, “Please…”

Toriel quailed for a moment only before her resolve steadied. The thump of the book closing was like a far-off door swinging shut. “I have to do something,” she said. “Stay here.” Pulling off her glasses, she left the room.

I felt a release of tension as she left. The hardest part was over. Now I pressed forward.

I Saved once more before following Toriel into the basement. Like before, she commanded me to go to my room, but silently I followed. Then she began to explain about Asgore, her demands becoming pleading. Still I carried on behind her. Breaking her heart seemed like one of the least cruel things I had done lately.

Toriel stood before the door. “Prove yourself,” she told me. “Prove to me you are strong enough to survive!”

I hated this. I hated knowing how this had played out in a different run. A fleeting memory danced in my brain, Toriel dying by my hand, and I flinched, a shiver rippling down my spine. Just a memory. Just a memory.

“Wait… why are you looking at me like that?”

I started. I hadn’t meant to make a face. Certainly not one that she would see.

“Like you have seen a ghost.” Her expression hardened. “Do you know something I do not?”

I looked away from her quickly, holding my arms and hiding my face behind a sheet of hair until I could get my expression under composure. “It’s nothing,” I said, although it wasn’t really nothing.

You’re the ghost, dear Toriel. A ghost in another lifetime. Let me save you now.

After a pause, Toriel decided, “No… that is impossible.” And the Encounter commenced.

Toriel’s song never struck with such richness before, even the first time I had faced her down. Nor had her stern expression seemed so easy to break. Her attack patterns seemed simple, and throwing away my weapon was the easiest thing I had ever done. Although watching her eyes become sadder and sadder as the Encounter continued might very well be one of the hardest. The first time I was so consumed with avoiding her attacks that I hadn’t had time to study her face or hear her words properly. Now I did. And it hurt my heart.

I considered not even dodging. Just letting the fireballs hit me until I was at 2 HP when she would relinquish. But I knew that she COULD kill me accidentally, plus it’s harder than you think not to flinch out of the way of oncoming fireballs. Even so, I reached 2 HP before the end of the fight. Toriel’s attacks began to drift away as she lost incentive to fight any longer.

“I know you want to go home,” she murmured as her attacks stopped completely, “but… but please… go upstairs now.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do that, Toriel. You know I can’t.”

“Please…” she begged. “I promise I will take good care of you here.”

Her smile hurt to see.

“I know we do not have much, but… we could have a good life here.”

I shook my head again.

She dropped her eyes. “Why are you making this so difficult? Please, go upstairs.”

For the space of two more Actions she was silent.

Finally, she laughed, a bitter ring in her tone. “Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child.”

“Toriel…” I could say nothing more.

“No,” she interrupted. “I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectation… my loneliness… my fear…” She gave a sad but brave smile. “For you, my child, I will put them aside.”

Thank you seemed inadequate. All words failed me. None of them seemed right.

“If you truly wish to leave the Ruins,” Toriel continued, “I will not stop you. However, when you leave… please do not come back. I hope you understand.”

She stepped forward and I could see tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. The softness of her fur, the coarseness of her robe, and the smell of spices wafting from her fur like perfume. I basked in it all, trying to retain the memory as wholly as I could. I hugged her back, fighting down the lump in my throat and squeezing my eyes tight shut just in case any moisture would try to escape. “We will see each other again,” I vowed. It was easy to say it in the dark behind my eyelids. It could have been a promise to her, or a promise to me. To both of us, perhaps. “Okay? We will. We’ll see each other again.”

Toriel’s cheek brushed past mine as she stood up. Her eyes fixed on mine as we pulled apart, and her smile was the saddest I had ever seen. “Goodbye, my child,” she whispered.

As she left the doorway, she gave me one final glance as if submitting this moment to memory. She thought I was leaving to die. She thought I was lying about seeing her again. I wanted to say something, anything to make her spirits raise. But I couldn’t. I could only fill myself with Determination and press on.

For this next bit, I would need all the Determination I could get.

I was going to have to face Sans.

Chapter Text

Chapter 30

Flowey wasn’t waiting for me at the Ruins exit. It was kind of a relief, honestly. I wasn’t sure what he would say. I didn’t know if I could take it.

That hurdle down, I marched out into the cold before I could lose my nerve. I didn’t want to do this. I really, REALLY didn’t want to do this. But really, what choice did I have? My stomach was roiling in anticipation and I held my arms clutched about me as I plodded through the snow. I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this…

Snap.

The stick I had stepped over almost without thinking lay behind me, smashed to smithereens. I made a whimpering noise, thinking about bone attacks and Gaster Blasters. Surely he wouldn’t come after me guns ablazin’, would he? He wouldn’t hate me that much, would he? My last Save Point was before I fought Toriel and all I had were two Spider Donuts and a pie. And 2 HP. Not even the full bar.

Nope, no, nuh-uh. He had to stick to the script. Even so, I moved forward a little more quickly and cast frequent glances behind me and to either side. The wooden bars were before me. I touched one, feeling the splintery wood beneath my fingertips as footsteps sounded from behind me.

Shoof, shoof, shoof.

I tensed, my fingers digging into the wood as my fight or flight senses became alive. Get ready, my whole brain seemed to say. I don’t know exactly what will happen. Just get ready.

“H u m a n.”

As soon as Sans’s voice began to echo in my head I whipped around. I couldn’t stand the intensity any longer. His shadowy figure stood before me, hands in pockets, obscured by the uncanny darkness of the wintery forest. He said nothing more but held out his left hand. A strange coil of tensed-up energy lay in my stomach as I reached forward. I grasped his hand.

The whoopie cushion in his hand went off, making the same long, drawn-out noise I knew from the game. The forest brightened and the shadows faded. Sans, now visible, chuckled as his theme music struck up. “heh, the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick…” His eyes turned quizzical as he put his hand back in his pocket. “wait a sec… have you heard it before or something? you turned around before i said to.” He shrugged. “weird.”

I huffed, my breath making a white puff of steam in the cold air. He didn’t remember me. Other than the curious glance he gave me over my quick turn-around, his eyes displayed no recognition. I gave a staggered, slightly hysterical laugh, putting my knuckles up to my mouth and turning away because I could feel a catch in my throat.

“hey, you alright there, buddy?” Sans questioned.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m doing alright,” I answered automatically, fixing a smile on my face and nodding sociably.

He quirked his bony brow. “ok then.”

He didn’t recognize me. Thank God. It might make it harder to explain, but… oh my Lord I was so happy he had forgotten me. The Sans from the Judgement Hall was gone. Comic Sans was back. Words could not describe the combination of relief and guilt I felt.

“anyways… you’re a human, right?”

“That’s me.” I nodded.

Sans’s smile broadened. “i’m sans. sans the skeleton.”

“Pleased to meet you, Sans.”

“likewise.”

He stayed with the script I knew, talking about his brother, the human hunting fanatic. He invited me inside the gate. I went inside. He ushered me behind the lamp. I hid. Loud, crunching footsteps approached and the bouncy fanfare struck up.

“sup, bro?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S ‘SUP’, BROTHER!!!”

I clenched my eyes shut as I heard these words. Papyrus. He was alive again. Another pang shook my heart because it felt so good to hear his voice. That nightmare realm where Papyrus was dead and Sans hunted for my blood… that world of my own making… how much more horrendous it seemed now when compared to this simple reality. A brother shouting at his joking sibling. I turned my back to them, leaning gently against the lamp as I sank to a sitting position in the snow, listening to their banter. I wrapped my arms around my legs and I rested my chin on top of my knees, conserving the little warmth I had while the rest of it seeped into the snow, enjoying a moment of invisibility while it lasted. He had been dead. He wasn’t dead anymore, neither of them were, but why was my heart still grieving?

“AS FOR YOUR WORK? PUT A LITTLE MORE… ‘BACKBONE’ INTO IT!” With this conclusion, I heard Papyrus’s laughter fade, a final chagrinned guffaw added to the end like a caboose at the end of a train. He was gone again. Gone.

“ok, you can come out now,” Sans called.

I didn’t move. I felt like I should, but I didn’t. It felt safer to stay hidden, out of eyesight. Out of HIS eyesight.

“um… you still there? hello?”

“I’m… still here,” I answered.

“oh good. thought you were ghosting me. you made your home back there or something?” He took a couple steps backwards so he could see me. He was smiling. He was always smiling, of course, but… I could tell when he wasn’t actually smiling.

I looked away. “I need to talk to you.”

“well, i’d say i’m all ears, but seeing as i don’t actually have ears… guess i’ll listen as best as i can, ok?”

I pinched my eyes closed, clutching my arms tighter around my knees. “Do you think,” I asked him, “that even the worst person can change? That anyone can be a good person… if they just try?”

I couldn’t look at him. I wouldn’t. I heard his feet shift in the snow. “why would you be wondering that, kiddo?” he asked. “do, uh… you think that you’re the worst person?”

After a brief pause, I nodded.

“huh,” he said. He must’ve shrugged or something because I heard the fabric of his jacket make a noise. “well… it sounds like you’ve got some heavy stuff to talk about then. listen, my bro probably won’t stay away for long. might make it a little awkward if he comes back. so how about we go somewhere?”

I looked up then, trying to figure out what he meant by ‘somewhere’. Grillby’s? Farther on down the road? He still didn’t look angry or judgmental. He just cocked his head in the direction of the gate I had just passed. “c’mon. i know a shortcut.”

Tentatively, I stood up, brushing snow off of my posterior. Sans spun around and began walking towards the gate. I followed a few steps behind.

The world faded to black and when it faded back in again I stood in a secluded glade. There was a frozen pond in the center, a couple snow poffs arranged like comfy chairs around the nearest beach. Everything gleamed with a crystalline grace and a soft melody began to play as I stopped to take in the sight.

A Save Point glimmered nearby and I brushed my hand through it as unobtrusively as possible. My HP shot back up to 20/20. Thank goodness. Now if Sans slaughtered me I wouldn’t have to reload back before Toriel’s fight. That was a bullet dodged.

Sans waited for me by the lake’s edge. He motioned me to a snow poff as I approached and I took his invitation, sinking in like it was a plush snowy chair. It felt nice. I always liked lying down in the snow.

“ok, so…” Sans pulled out a ketchup bottle and unscrewed the top like a dude cracking a beer. “whenever you’re ready.”

How would I start? There was so much to go through. So much he couldn’t remember. I made little deciding noises as I tried to begin and then stopped. It didn’t help that Sans was sipping his ketchup, which was something I had seen the fanbase portraying him doing, but had never actually seen before in the game or in my lifetime.

“whenever you’re ready. don’t sweat it,” Sans prompted after a moment or two.

I puffed out a breath, almost an irritated laugh. “I don’t know where to start,” I said.

“well,” Sans laid the back of his skull into the snow, which looked unimaginably cold. “i’m no expert, but i’ve always thought that the best stories start at the beginning. and then the middle, and finish at the end. why not try that?”

I clicked my tongue. Same old Sans. “Fine. Our story opens in another world. A world without monsters. It never had any monsters to begin with. Just humans.”

And so I began. In a story I had never written, the main character was given the task of telling a fellow companion about a circumstance, but was unable to let on that the circumstance was currently happening. She began to tell it in story form, acting like it was a book she was writing, asking for assistance in figuring out the ending. Such I did here, talking about a gaming youtuber who, to increase her views (hopefully), sought out a popular game to play on her channel. I told him about how she had played a game called ‘Undertale’, a game that featured a child falling into the realm of monsters, desperately trying to get back home.

I told him how the girl had loved the game, every bit of it. How she had played it ‘pacifist’, since the ending varied depending on which monsters you kept alive at the end, and how it had granted the very best ending.

“But then,” I added, slowing down a little, “somebody left a comment on her last video. Some… random person she had never heard from before. They asked her to play another route. The Genocide Route.”

Even though he probably gathered what the Genocide Route entailed, I explained it to him, even though I couldn’t look him in the eyes while doing so. I was afraid what I would see there.

I told him about the girl’s conflict while bringing up the game. How curiosity drove her to see if she could achieve the unthinkable ending. She wondered if she could defeat the extra-hard bosses, but she also knew what it would mean for the world if she did.

“She tried to Reset the game,” I continued. “But as she did, she suddenly changed her mind. She reached for the escape button while the game was still loading up, and somehow… that triggered something. She found herself stuck inside the game.” Sans hadn’t talked this whole time, but when I looked at his face his expression was intrigued. Not mad. Not happy. Calculating, maybe. I looked back down again. “She was in the position of the main character – Frisk. The human child who fell into the Underground. And so, she began to make her way through that world, determined to give them all the pacifist ending that they deserved. She had the same powers that she might have had outside the game: the powers of Reset, of Saving and Loading. It saved her skin… more times than I remember.”

I paused. Here came the tricky part. “But… unbeknownst to her… when she fell into the underground… another timeline came into effect. One that she had brought upon herself because of the desire to prompt a Genocide Run. A timeline… ruled by her Curiosity. Separate but still connected to her – happening at the same time as the other events. Connected by a shared soul.”

Somewhere during my dialogue, my third person storytelling switched to first person. No longer was I talking about some random youtuber who just so happened to be sucked into a video game. I was talking about myself. My story. My mistakes.

I admitted everything to him. How I should have sought help when I had the chance when I first saw the visions. How I didn’t. How I bore the consequences later down the line.

I told him about the Judgement Hall. How the convergence of timelines came about and how I traveled from one to the other and the door shut behind me. I told him of our fight, how I had tried to hold back, but how my Curiosity, which had guided my soul all through that timeline, tried to force me to fight.

When I told him about how he wouldn’t listen to me, how I had begged him to speak with me, I could feel the stirrings of anger in my heart. He hadn’t listened. He hadn’t talked to me when I needed his help.

But then I thought of what he had gone through; his world taken apart by the flex of my knife. I mentioned out loud that it wasn’t his fault, that he was still working through his grief, but Sans waved a hand at me, face carefully turned aside. “don’t tell me what i was thinkin’, ok kid? just keep telling the story.”

So I did. I didn’t mention getting ‘dunked on’, but I did say that once I got to the halftime section of the fight four times with minimal items eaten and still refused to go beyond that point, he had finally listened a little bit. He had offered to help if I ended the fight and reloaded. I told him that I had agreed.

As I continued to relay the past events, my tamped irritation began to grow. Looking away from his motionless features, I began to think ill of the one who had caused me so much harm. Not that he had caused me the harm – because that I deserved – but that his retribution hadn’t come sooner. Hadn’t he seen what I was doing? Didn’t he know the events that had been put in place? Couldn’t he see that I wasn’t going to stop?

He should have stopped me. After Papyrus, if not sooner. It was him I was after. My Curiosity would have summoned my soul over at a sooner point if Sans had initiated a fight, not waited until the last possible minute. I had no right to judge – I had done far worse than he – but had it really been worse if he had seen what was happening and didn’t act?

I spoke of how I killed him, even if I didn’t go in depth. How my Curiosity tried to pull me from the hall to end the game, but how I resisted. How she had made her appearance, told me what I knew now. I resisted her again, managing to Reset. How I was back again, trying once more to get to an ending.

“And that pretty much leads up to now,” I ended, adding as an afterthought, “I think she’s gone. I mean, I think that I only have one soul now, but… yeah, I think that that much of the problem is taken care of.”

I chanced a peek up at Sans’s face. He didn’t respond. His ketchup bottle was empty by now and he clutched it with tight fingers. Other than that, his figure seemed relaxed. I looked back down.

“Are you going to kill me?” I asked.

I heard him shift and immediately looked up, alarmed that he had taken it as an open invitation. “nah. from what it sounds like you’ll come right back anyway. so why bother?”

I let out a relieved breath. Thank goodness. “Do you… remember any of it?” I asked tentatively.

Sans cocked his head. He still wasn’t looking at me. “well… let’s just say that what i do remember i don’t want to think about, and what i don’t i’d rather keep forgotten.”

“So… some of it?” I clarified after puzzling for a bit.

“yeah. some.”

He obviously didn’t want me to press the issue, so I didn’t. I felt afraid to keep going, but he wasn’t making any indication of prompting conversation. So I asked, “Okay, so what now?”

Sans looked at me for the first time and his tone was worn, but there was an edge to his expression. “whaddya want from me, kid? was there any point to you telling me all this or did you just want something new to happen?”

I found this unfair. “I… just needed to tell someone!”

“aaaaand it had to be me?” Sans tipped the bottle back toward his mouth, but there was no more ketchup inside. He lowered it morosely.

“I told you the first time,” I grumbled. “back when… before everything got complicated.”

“uh-huh. so what do you want me to do with this info, huh?” His eyes had gone dark. I felt a chill go up my spine that had nothing to do with the snow. “you want me to let you off with a pat on the back? say good job for being so resilient to your own inner demons? or maybe you didn’t get enough punishment on your last run.”

The music had completely stopped. There was a rumbling undertone and I could feel magic pulse through the air. It hadn’t drawn me into an Encounter yet, nor had any attacks formed, but I could feel the tension.

“you want me to keep playing the bad guy? you want me to tell you to go to hell?”

Every muscle of mine was tensed. I was ready to fight or flee if Megalovania started to play.

But then Sans’s eyes faded back in. The magical pulse was gone and everything seemed as usual. “nah,” he said. “looks like you’ve already seen hell.” He gave a mirthless snort. “you shoulda seen your face, though.”

I turned my face away, gritting my teeth. I hated how he was treating this like a game. Oh the irony. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told him.

“nope. not really,” he answered, back to his typical lackadaisical manner. But in a minute or two he sighed and rocked forward. “listen, kid. my question still stands. what do you want from me? heck, what do you want, period. we might get somewhere if you can at least answer that.”

I thought about this. “I’ve already undone everything,” I said, saying my thoughts aloud as I processed them internally. “I just… want to make everything right. And I know… what I’ve done can’t really be completely erased. I can’t undo what I’ve done to my soul… but…” I sighed. “I guess now I just want to get to the end. Give everybody the ending that they deserve. It’s the least I can do for them now.”

“ok…” Sans nodded. “and then what? you’re going to just reset again once you get out? play the game like none of this ever happened?”

“No!” I exclaimed. Why did this feel so familiar? Oh, right, because he had asked me this in the first timeline. “I’ve told you this before, but I’m not going to play Undertale again once I get out. I’ll leave it alone, let you all live out your lives. You’ll never hear from me ever again.”

That was hard to say. Hard, but also easy. I’d be gone from their lives. They would never have to worry about their murderer ever again.

“k… so then, next question: what does that have to do with me? what’s the deal with me being here listening to you?”

“I told you, I had to tell someone!” I exclaimed, feeling exasperated all over again. “You’re the one who’s most likely to understand! What, you want me to go off and tell Papyrus or something?”

Sans winced. “nah, s’not necessary.”

Continuing on from our previous conversation, I added, “I’m assuming that I need to get to the end of the game to get home. I don’t know for sure, but that’s what I’m guessing. And if I don’t, I’m not gonna try again. We’ll figure something else out.”

Sans gave a terse nod. “sure.”

We were quiet again for a moment, but there was something I needed to know. “How do you feel about me, right now?” I asked after mentally rephrasing the question several times. “Like… do you… do you really hate me right now?”

“oh, we’re talking about feelings now?” Sans gave me a wry look.

“You know what I meant!”

Sans made a sound like he was hissing air out between his teeth. “how do you expect me to feel, kiddo? i just found out that my murderer from another timeline, who isn’t from this universe at all and views my world as a game, managed to ‘reset’ time to give themselves a second chance and wants to give everyone a happy ending just for the heck of it. because they’re ‘sorry’. and, uh, even if you were split into two personalities at the time… which honestly makes no sense to me… you hear how crazy this sounds, right?”

I swallowed. “Yeah. I hear ya.”

Sans sat back in the snow. “don’t get me wrong, i’d love to believe you. really. this whole apologetic act is really touching, ya know? but the thing is…” here he locked eyes with me again, “you, uh… killed a LOT of people. like, a lot a lot. and if you did it to ‘see if you could’… what’s stopping you this time?”

I thought this over. “I think I’m just in one timeline now, like I said. So, full control over what I’m doing. It’s… not like I didn’t have control before, I just… I don’t know how to explain it!” I dug fists into my hair in agitation before pulling myself back to the main subject. “I take full responsibility for my actions. That was me in the other timeline. Me in both timelines. Just different aspects. Now both aspects are here, under my control, and I say that I’m doing this the right way. All the way to the end. And… that’s actually part of the reason that I told you everything, because… if I’m wrong about being just in one timeline… I can’t go through all this again. I’m going to need your help.”

“well, i think it’s safe to say i don’t want to go through that whole mess again, so…” Sans gave a nod and a wink. “consider that a deal made, kiddo.”

I gave a sigh and some of the tension released from my core. “Thank you.”

“now, don’t get under the impression that we’re all buddy-buddy now that i agreed to do you a favor just in case you turned around and killed us,” Sans warned. “i’ll still be keeping an eyesocket on you.”

“Understood,” I answered.

“you’re gonna have to prove that you’ll do what you say you’re gonna do. even if you undo everything, it doesn’t mean everything’s undone, you know?”

I huffed a laugh. “Kinda.”

Sans settled himself back, clasping his hands together. “one last thing. i have a bunch of reasons to be mad at you. since we’re still on the subject of feelings, why don’t you tell me why you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you!” I blurted.

“yeah, uh-huh, sure. now how about telling me the truth.” Sans fixed me with a look. “c’mon. tell me what’s eatin’ ya.”

I thought it through. What had I tamped down just a moment earlier? Oh yeah, there it was.

“You didn’t stop me,” I said, looking down at my knees. It was hard for me to be so direct like this, but I just kept going. “At any point during my Genocide Run you could have stood up against me. You could have… it was you I was after! I was just trying to get to you, and if you had just…” I ran out of words. They were all trapped inside my mouth, beneath the lump in my throat. Sans was silent and I regrouped my thoughts for another attack. “Why didn’t you fight me? You could have done it at any time before the Judgement Hall. It’s not like you couldn’t see what was going on. What, did you think I was gonna stop? I would have LOVED for you to snap me out of it. I mean, yeah, from a video game standpoint it makes sense having a super-secret final boss who’s extra hard and everything… but… why?” I looked up then. My hands were shaking and I shoved down angry tears. He wouldn’t see me cry.

Sans tapped his fingertips against the side of his empty ketchup bottle, making a dull clinking sound. “well, not gonna pretend i’m not the laziest monster in the underground,” he said with a wink and a false smile.

My eyes burned with anger. “I slaughtered your brother,” I hissed. “He offered me a hug and I knocked his skull clean off his head.”

That wasn’t anatomically correct, but I kept going.

“In my first runthrough, the first timeline I lived through, Gyftrot killed me. It was the first time I died and you were standing right there.” I jabbed a finger down with a vengeance.

“so… you mad about that?”

“No, that doesn’t matter so much anymore. It’s just…” I swallowed hard. “You better not have been standing there when I killed Pap’rus. If you were, and you did nothing, I really wouldn’t be able to forgive you.”

Sans nodded slowly and put the empty bottle aside. He had looked slightly stunned when I mentioned what I did to his brother, but he didn’t seem angry. “ok, lemme explain something to ya,” he said, sitting forward. “so listen. you’re outside the timeline, yeah? you, uh… see things in a different way than we do here inside a linear timescape. so if someone makes a mistake, it happens every time unless something changes it. right?”

I nodded tersely, looking away again, harsh disappointment filling my core. He had been there. This was his way of breaking it to me.

“k. so just keep that in mind, will ya? because i want to remind you of another thing. i… uh… don’t really remember the last timeline.” He shrugged, hands uplifted. “you hold me accountable and act as if i do, and sure, i remember bits and pieces here and there… but over all? not really. so, according to your question, i don’t know where i was when you were with my bro. that’s probably not the answer you were hoping for, but that’s all i got.”

I nodded again, a little more slowly this time, feeling chagrinned. Of course he didn’t remember. What was I thinking? It wasn’t right to hold him responsible to something that – to him – never even occurred.

“as for your other question… i don’t know how much you know, but a while back i made a promise.” He closed his eyes as he recounted. “i promised that if a human ever came out of that big ol’ door back there, i’d watch over ‘em and protect ‘em. now… if i hadn’t made that promise, rest assured…” and here he opened his eyes, displaying inky blackness inside, “Y o u ‘ d  b e  d e a d  w h e r e  y o u  s t a n d.”

After the initial shiver faded, I thought about this. He had promised. Not only had he promised, he had kept that promise until he felt he couldn’t keep it any longer. Until the literal final moment. “Wow,” I said out loud, thinking it through. I had never considered that it was hard for him to keep that promise. After all, he had lost me to the Gyftrot. But knowing that he had put aside the death of his brother, that he had overseen that to keep his promise… wow. How hard that must’ve been.

“that being said,” Sans continued. “it, uh… it kinda looks like i broke that promise a bunch of times in the last timeline.”

“Mmm, no, I—” I interjected. “…I deserved it. I deserved all of it.”

“i killed you,” he said, peering into my face. “and by what you’ve said i killed you a lot. maybe just as many times as you killed those other people.”

“But that’s different!” I exclaimed. “I killed the innocent! You… fought for protection. And judgement.”

“huh. from what you told me it sounded like i was killing a girl who was asking for help.” His mask was frozen in place.

“I… you had gone through SO much,” I defended. “You had no idea what was going on, and like you said before, you could only see within the timestream. Not from my perspective. I don’t blame you AT ALL for what you did. And actually, you fighting was what snapped me out. I don’t think… I don’t think my Curiosity would’ve gone away – or it wouldn’t have been satisfied – if you just gave up and we talked it out. So… I guess this was the only solution anyway. Plus, it’s in the past. Never really happened, actually.” I grinned wryly to myself. “Technically.”

“maybe. maybe not,” he deferred. “but, uh… i can’t help but feel like your logic is a little flawed. see, you’re saying that it doesn’t matter what i did because it was in another timeline. but what YOU did is in another timeline too and i notice you’re not making any excuses for that.”

I tried to argue, but no valid arguments came to mind.

“just somethin’ to think about. ‘cause i think you’re being harder on yourself than i am. and, uh… i’m the one supposed to be judging, ya know?” He winked with another palms-upward shrug.

“I have to be!” I objected fiercely. “I’m the only one who knows what happened in that timeline now!”

Sans looked mildly surprised. “geez, kid. do you always blow up over the little things like this?”

I sank my forehead into my palm with a weak giggle. “Yeah,” I answered, tone meek.

Sans chuckled, a warm sound I hadn’t heard in a while. “might wanna work on that.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

Sans stood up, giving his pants a pat to shake off the snow. “so… before i shove off, anything more you wanna ask me?”

I shook my head, smiling a tiny bit, my heart a wee bit lifted. “Not that I can think of.”

“cool. so, um… just need a quick favor. see, my brother’s never seen a human before. well, not in this timeline. he’s been kind of down lately and seeing you might just make his day.”

“Alright,” I agreed immediately.

“woah, that was quick. might want to tone it down there, bud. after all, we just met today.” He was teasing. My heart lifted even more. He wasn’t mad. Or, not too mad. Not anymore. “anyway, thanks a bunch. see you up ahead.” Stuffing his hands a little further into his pockets, he turned around and shuffled out of the clearing.

I became aware just how cold my seat was as I rose out of it. My bottom-shaped imprint (which was undeniably deeper than Sans’s) sunk into the snow poff. I looked at it with a peeved expression as I realized that I had no idea where in Snowdin I was, or how to get anywhere else from here. Saving filled me with a fresh flush of Determination and I decided that I might as well follow where Sans had headed. If that failed, I’d go the opposite direction. He wasn’t going to kill me, but tricking me was exactly his forte.

I never knew what to expect with that skeleton. At least that much hadn’t changed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31

After wandering out of the glade where Sans had left me (I ended up having to go the opposite direction because his footprints disappeared after a few paces) I made my way back to the main road up by the river. From there, I only had to travel south and then a little to the left before I interrupted the skeleton brothers in their banter.

Papyrus recognized me. I was certain of that by the way his eyes sparked when he cut off halfway through his dialogue about Undyne. After twirling a few times trying to catch his brother’s attention, finally they both stared in my direction.

“SANS!! OH MY GOD!!” Papyrus ‘whispered’. “IS THAT… A HUMAN!?!?!??!?! AND IT LOOKS SO FAMILIAR…!!!”

My spirits, which had lifted with my conversation with Sans, now sank into my stomach. Another wave of guilt smote me. The only thing that discounted my sudden urge to flee was the fact that he was staring behind me, not directly at me.

“uhhhh… i think it looks familiar… because it’s a rock?” Sans suggested.

I gave a peek behind me. Yup. Rock.

Papyrus deflated. “OH.”

I didn’t want him to say anything. I wanted to stay invisible. But, of course, Sans had to say, “hey, what’s that in front of the rock?”

Papyrus perked up instantly and his eyesockets locked on me. “OH MY GOD!!!”

It was honestly nice to have someone so happy to see me. That hadn’t happened since… well, the last route. And I hadn’t stopped to appreciate it. Hadn’t stopped to listen. Just kept walking while he was still talking. Besides being murderous, I had also been pretty rude. But hey, it was easier to kill people when you didn’t let them talk.

I hated how I could justify my actions. I hated how I could remember my reasoning.

Papyrus finished his exclamations of how popular he would become and made a speech about how he would capture me and take me to the capital while I listened politely. I had to make up for my attitude in the previous run, after all.

He ran off cackling and Sans offered again to ‘keep an eyesocket out for me’, although I figured it was less for my sake than everyone else’s, and then he left me alone in the snow.

I started forward. What else could I do? I encountered Snowdrake and Icecap respectably, getting past them with little difficulty. I got past Doggo and listened graciously as Sans told me about blue attacks. I found the snowman, which gave me MAJOR flashbacks because of what I had done in the last run. I took the piece he offered, promising to bring it far away, just as he wished. “Is there anything else I can do? For you?” I asked, guilt prompting me to inquire. “Anything at all?”

“Hm… no, I don’t think so,” the snowman responded. “The use of your legs will be enough. Thank you, kind traveler.”

“Sure,” I answered, making a hasty exit before anything undesirable would happen. I had ripped him apart with my bare hands. I had EATEN him. I had used him as a healing item. Was that… was that cannibalism? What would that be considered? Either way… I felt sickened by my own actions.

Rounding a bend, I came across Sans and Papyrus again. I didn’t even bother to look back to see the distance Sans had warped to get where he stood now. It was just a fact now.

“REALLY THOUGH!!” Papyrus was insisting, “THAT HUMAN!! DO I KNOW THAT PERSON???”

I shivered. A few years ago amnesia used to be one of my greatest fears. Not particularly that I would contract it, but movies where someone didn’t remember who they were supposed to know or had just forgotten a chunk of their lifetime had freaked me out. I had gotten better about it in recent times, but looking at his pleading eyesockets I still felt a conflicting desire for him to remember, mixed with the will to have him forget completely. This halfway state must have been frustrating for him.

“do you not know who you know?” Sans deferred.

Papyrus made a sound like a raspberry blown out between loose lips. How he made that sound in the first place I have NO idea. “OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW!! I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW. YOU KNOW?”

Sans gave a small cough to alert his brother to where I stood, still puzzling through Papyrus’s word choice. “OH-HO! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!”

Apt of you to say that, Papyrus. Devil incarnate at your service.

I was distracted from my thoughts of self-loathing as Papyrus started to talk, warning me about the invisible electricity maze. Nothing different happened on that end, or any other throughout Snowdin. I bought Nice Creams from Ronnie. I put on the Tuff Gloves just to free up the stick for my inventory so I could play fetch with the dogs. I didn’t eat the spaghetti. I told Pap’rus that Junior Jumble was harder than crosswords. I solved his puzzles. The only thing that was a little bit different was that I got a phone call from Alphys while I was walking, but she thought that I was a pizza place and hung up immediately when she found out I was a wrong number. Oops.

The moments of wandering through the snow were kind of nice. I tried to keep my brain empty because any thoughts that entered there soon became sour. The cold air nipped my nose, the slight discomfort giving me a small punishment for my crimes. Sans might’ve been right. I WAS being hard on myself. But come on, it was me! I knew what I had done! I knew better than anyone else and I proclaimed myself guilty. A thousand times guilty. Sure, yeah, maybe it was in an alternate timeline, but just the fact that Papyrus remembered me was enough to remind me that my crimes had in no way been undone. They had still happened. I was still to blame.

I wanted to be home. I wanted this all to be a bad dream. I wanted to wake up in a hospital bed and have a doctor tell me that I was in a coma for three days after my computer gave me an electrocution while setting up my recording equipment and have my weeping mom and dad be told that I was on the mend and making a swift recovery as he spoke. But noooooo. No no no, this all had to be reaaaal. I had to have made a colossal error and live out the rest of my life in secrecy and guilt for the rest of tiiiime. I hated my life. I hated myself and I hated my life. And nothing more could be said.

By putting one foot in front of another I arrived at Snowdin Town. Last time I had seen it the town was empty. Evacuated. Now it was back to its original bustling state. It was good to see it like this. Natural.

I bought some items (instead of snagging them from behind the counter and pilfering the register, which I had done last time. CURSES I had been so rude!!!!!) and wandered through town, knowing where I’d end up but loathing it all the same.

Right before I had entered town, Sans had intercepted me. “here,” he had offered. “i’ll give you some advice about fighting my brother.” He cocked his head, his grin turning cynical. “don’t. capiche?”

“I’m going to have to,” I had told him. “But I promise I won’t throw a hit. He won’t get hurt.”

“i’ll hold you to that.”

Now here I was, waltzing into a fight with Papyrus. I wondered if there was a way around it. If I could swim up the river straight to Hotland. Now there was a speedrun tactic that had never been explored!

But no. I needed to do this the right way. Otherwise I wouldn’t get the correct ending. And I DIDN’T want to go through all this again! Not ever!

Papyrus stood veiled by blowing snow and fog. His voice rang out over the expanse and my stomach tightened, half expecting him to call me a freaking weirdo again and talk about the mistakes I had made. But he stuck to the typical script about offering to be my friend, then relinquishing that request because I was a human and he had to capture me. Regular Papyrus stuff. I was drawn into an Encounter.

I flirted with him just a little bit and grinned when he got all flustered. I Spared, hovering as his blue attacks passed gently through me. Then my soul turned blue, I dropped to the ground, and the Fight began for real.

Having my soul blue had different connotations for me now. Even though Papyrus’s fight was remarkably easier than his brother’s, I kept expecting to have my soul thrown against a nearby tree or yanked to the side and thrust into a bone trap. Nothing of the kind happened, but I was still on edge.

Papyrus was still tough. Let no one say he’s easy because that’s not true. He’s not as hard as Sans, though, and his bone patterns aren’t as complicated. The style of the two brothers varied immensely, but there were a few similarities. Sans preferred the sudden attacks filled with platforms that required speed to maneuver. Papyrus enjoyed using tactical attacks that required dexterity and timing. There were more differences, of course, such as Sans being out for blood and revenge while Papyrus simply wanted to capture me, but these were the main ones I noticed on this go through.

He didn’t capture me. Not this time. I went through it all without having my HP drop too far and a few consumable items later we both stood panting in the chill Snowdin air. I Spared for the final time and the Encounter ended. Papyrus mourned his loss of friendship, I offered to be friends, and he perked up immediately, showering me with descriptions of the forward journey and ending with offering to have that date before lifting up into the air and gliding away. No, that did not sound weird at all. Why are you asking?

I turned right around without even Saving and marched back to have a date with him. My HP was 3/20, but I didn’t really care. The ache made me feel a little weaker, is all. I could take it.

I considered doing the date just as the game intended, no extra bits added. But this did seem dull, especially for my date, so I walked around and commented on different items before wandering up to his room and – after careful consideration – remarked on his pirate flag to prompt the extra dialogue. I let him touch my hand to feel the bones underneath and let him feel my heart. His shining eyesockets reminded me that it was worth the time lost just to see him so happy.

It was strange for him to be standing so close and yet not remember me. It was strange for us to stand here in the exact same position as before and see the same events play out, yet he did not remark on the coincidence of the situation.

I wanted to ask him if skeletons bled, but I didn’t. It would’ve been the perfect time to ask, and might answer the question that was nagging at me since the last timeline, but I couldn’t force myself to ask the question. In the end I simply dropped his hand and let him back away, putting his mitten back on and suggesting that we commence the date. I agreed.

The one thing I did notice about the date was that information on the Dating Hud had hardly varied from last time. The date was the same as the last time I checked, which gave me hope that perhaps time wasn’t passing in my world after all. Or not passing quickly, at least.

I didn’t eat the spaghetti this time. Once was enough. He skewed it in his mind, as always, so that it was a complement. I lived unscathed.

After being friendzoned I headed to Waterfall. Sans invited me to Grillby’s and I accepted. Nothing different happened there. It was as if we were both pretending that it was an ordinary outing, that nothing had gone awry with the timeline, that everything was still normal. I was grateful for the charade. The opportunity to act as if this was still the first time all this had happened was a relief I didn’t know I needed. A chance to relax, enjoy a burger, and rest my legs. Soon enough, though, I had to continue.

If seeing Sans and Papyrus in an early state was weird, seeing Undyne was even weirder. My fear of her which I had held in my first runthrough was all but gone, but a healthy respect still remained after seeing her Undying state. Still, her flying spears seemed much easier to dodge and I ran without panic urging me forwards.

I talked to Ronnie at his Nice Cream stand. I hadn’t seen him at all during my last run. It was nice to see a face that wasn’t tarnished by my blade. One that didn’t know me from that time before.

Onionsan and I chatted as we went down the corridor and I waved as she disappeared. In the next cavern I bumped into Shyren, who carefully hid her face as she pulled me into an Encounter.

“I don’t want to talk… about things we’ve gone through…” I began to croon, becoming steadily more confident as Shyren turned to me with a glowing expression, joining in with unsteady notes. I encouraged her with a smile, singing ‘The Winner Takes it All’ at the top of my lungs.

Like previously, we gained a crowd. I chose different songs, except for the last one. We still ended on ‘For Good’. It was a tradition now, I guessed.

I still felt a tad uneasy as the crowd disbanded. In the last run, there had only been one person watching while Shyren died. A figure standing to the side, cloaked in darkness. I hadn’t recognized it earlier, but now I was thinking about it, it might’ve been Sans with his hood up. The size was right. Did he remember that moment? While he was selling his toilet paper tickets and smiling at the stage was he thinking about what I had done? I was.

I stayed at the piano longer than I should have, letting my fingers run over the keys and venting my soul through music. Nobody was listening. Nobody was judging. I took my time.

The music box playing underneath the statue sounded more poignant this time around. It had sounded sweet and sad the first time I had heard it. Now it hit a little differently. I felt tears prick my eyelids and bit my lip, hastening to move on lest they fall. Another wave of pain struck my heart, but I tamped it down. Determination shadowed my self-pity and I moved on.

It was kind of nice, though. Just to walk through an area I had gone before, to be aware of everything that would come, to know without a shadow of a doubt what would happen next. It was calming in a way. Dull, but calming. I knew Undyne would knock me into the garbage dump. I wasn’t afraid. I knew I would fight the Mad Dummy. I knew Napstablook would save me. He would invite me to his house. I would go. I was looking forward to it, actually. I would talk to Gerson before moving on. I would go to Temmie Village and sell some items at the Tem Shop. I would get into a couple more confrontations with Undyne before standing beneath her as she monologed, removing her helmet and shouting through the wind that billowed from Hotland.

So it happened, and soon enough there I stood as her theme music boomed around me. Even so, I felt strangely calm about all this. Tense, yes, but there was none of the fear I had displayed on my first or second run-throughs. The first time I had been afraid of what would happen. The second I knew I was in for a tough battle. But this time, after the trials of the Undying, I felt as if her soliloquies and boisterous accusations were nothing but pointless boasts. She was like Papyrus, shouting and stomping about, making bold claims, but it was groundless. Pointless. Like a paper curtain claiming to hold against a hurricane. She couldn’t stop me. She couldn’t even hurt me. Not permanently, anyway. Thought of that way, it was almost sad.

After Saving, I stepped forward. Undyne came down with a yell, snapping a spear in half and throwing it to me, turning my soul green.

Had her attacks always been this easy? They seemed slow compared to what they had been. Of course they picked up speed later, but I remembered even the beginning being challenging.

I blocked her first attacks with ease, bolting as soon as my soul turned red. She caught me, of course, and the fight recommenced. I had to eat a couple healing items between stages, but it didn’t really matter. My soul turned red. I ran again. Sweat was rolling down her face and her eyes were narrowed as she gritted harsh words between her teeth. I was sweating too, but the stakes weren’t as high as she thought.

Undyne’s final attack was swift and merciless, but the spears that struck me were few. As soon as her green magic ebbed, I gathered my strength and ran for Hotland, tripping and falling to hands and knees in a few steps. My phone rang and Undyne stopped long enough to let me answer and talk to Papyrus. I took a deep breath, replacing my phone, and ran again. Past the ‘Welcome to Hotland’ sign. Past Sans dozing in his sentry station. Across the bridge over troubled lava. Onto the safe land on the opposite side.

Undyne, now thoroughly drenched in sweat, staggered after me, collapsing on the bridge. I gave her some water, bathing her face and dripping it on the back of her neck. After several false starts, she stood up. Like before, conflict showed on her face. After an internal war, she let me be.

I laughed a tiny bit. First try! After so many deaths on my first run, not to mention the absolute SLAUGHTER from Undyne the Undying… first try, baby! First try!

Standing up was still hard. My muscles ached from their beating and my feet felt tired from walking all day. I staggered to the Save Point and then called Papyrus to let him know that I had survived.

After the first initial banter about the lab being or not being home to dogs, wherein Sans made an appearance on the line to interject his opinion, I mentioned flippantly how tired I was. “What time is it, does either of you know?” I asked, sitting down next to the Save Point and rolling my shoulders.

“almost midnight,” answered Sans. “makes sense that you’re tired.”

“YOU’VE BEEN WALKING THROUGH WATERFALL ALL AFTERNOON!” interjected Papyrus. “WHERE WERE YOU PLANNING TO STAY TONIGHT?”

“Uh… I was thinking about heading back to Snowdin and staying at the hotel,” I answered.

“THE INN??? NONSENSE!” Papyrus sounded appalled. “WHY, WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM HERE AT THE HOUSE! YOU SHOULD STAY HERE WITH US!!!”

“You sure?” I pressed.

“OF COURSE WE WOULD HAVE YOU!!! OUR HOUSE IS THE FINEST HOUSE IN TOWN! WHY, IT COULD BE LIKE A SLEEPOVER! MY BED IS OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR, OF COURSE, SO YOU CAN NAP THERE FOR THE NIGHT!”

“I don’t need to take your bed,” I told him. “The couch’ll be just fine.”

“ARE YOU SURE??? BECAUSE MY BED IS FAR MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THE COUCH WILL EVER HOPE TO BE! THE COUCH ISN’T CAR SHAPED!”

“but you have to admit,” Sans added, “the couch will never… DRIVE you crazy.”

I heard a rimshot and an explosion from Papyrus. I couldn’t help grinning, but I interjected, “Okay, but Sans, are YOU alright with me staying? It’s your house too, feel free to… give a veto if you want.”

“the more the merrier, bucko.” Sans said. “come on over.”

“Alright,” I shrugged. “I’ll be over in a little bit, then.”

“VERY WELL! COME, SANS!!! WE MUST PREPARE FOR OUR GUEST!!!”

“see you soon, kiddo.”

“Okie dokie.”

They hung up and I headed for the river to take a boat back to Snowdin.

Chapter Text

Chapter 32

Like I’ve said before, I wake up aware of my surroundings. I don’t usually wake up confused, wondering where I am. So when I woke up with the room still darkened by the underground’s half-lit aspect of night, I knew exactly where I was. The skeleton house, downstairs on their couch, still mummified by Papyrus when he tucked me in earlier, hair still slightly damp from my shower. What I didn’t understand was what had woken me up.

In a bemused state I looked over to the refrigerator, half expecting Sans to be scavenging for a midnight snack like last time, but he wasn’t there. I hadn’t woken up on my own, I was sure. So why was I awake?

The noise sounded again.

I stiffened, sitting up and tugging my arms free from my covers. My ears strained for another sound.

Another thump and a cry, smothered by the door between us, but I could tell it was Papyrus. I fully excavated myself and tiptoed upstairs. There was a bluish glow emanating from beneath both the upstairs doors and I could hear muted noises from Sans’s room as well. I swallowed hard and knocked gently on Papyrus’s door, but there was no answer. The light shone more brightly. Though I would never enter unannounced in normal circumstances, this didn’t seem at all normal to me. I twisted the knob to Papyrus’s room and peered inside.

The entire room was bathed in blue light. I snuck inside and immediately felt blue magic snag my soul, making me feel twenty pounds heavier. Papyrus lay on the bed, tendrils of light grasping objects throughout the room. His eyes were tight shut, little ghostly ‘z’s parading from his head as he slumbered, but every so often he twisted and an object in the room, gripped by his magic, was flung to the ground. A whole platoon of his action figures had already been knocked off their table, littering the ground. Papyrus whimpered and his bony brows contorted in fear. He shivered and his bones rattled. I tried to call him but my tongue was thick in my mouth.

I began to creep forward, but with every step I took his magic weighed heavier on my soul. I felt like Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders as my knees began to sag, my breath coming slower as the weight forced it out. There was no music in this room. Only a slow pulse like a giant heartbeat warped through autotune. My ears began to ring with it as I staggered forward, each step dragging as if I slogged through molasses.

After what seemed like a lifetime, I touched his bed. I pulled at his covers as if I was climbing a ladder, reeling myself in closer to his face. It was getting way too hard to stand now. Finally, my hand feeling like a dead weight, I touched his arm. His shoulder. Shook it. Once more.

Like a firecracker, Papyrus shot up in bed making a sound like a gasped yell. All his magic instantly dissipated and I, feeling strangely light, stumbled backwards and landed with a thump on the floor, feeling disoriented, but miraculously avoiding any downed action figures. A moment later I heard the shuffling of blankets and the lights turned on to a dimmed setting. Papyrus appeared, hand groping at the light switch, looking distressed and frazzled.

“ OH,” he said mutely. “ HUMAN… HUMAN I… I…”

His expression broke down completely and he turned away, bringing his blanketed knees up to his chest and burying his head in the dark cave they formed. He was wearing the purple set of pajamas I had declined earlier that night in lieu of the comfy ones and the little purple nightcap that perched on his head trembled as his entire form shook. His bones rattled.

I was up in an instant, pushing off the floor and approaching the racecar bed. I put my hand on his shoulder, sitting across from him, murmuring, “Hey… Pap’rus hey…”

He peered at me from over his crossed arms, eyesockets streaming with tears. Then, like a child, he uncurled and nuzzled close, wrapping his arms around me and hunching so he rested on my bosom, making little restrained sobs.

“Pap’rus, what’s wrong?” I inquired, holding him close. He felt so much smaller without his Battle Body. Just a bundle of bones wrapped in clothing. Weak and small and vulnerable. “What’s wrong?” I had to fight the urge to add ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’ to the end of the question.

“ NOTHING,” he croaked, but his arms tightened. “ ONLY A DREAM.”

“About what?” I prompted, rocking slightly to ease him.

He shivered and his bones rattled again. It felt like he was shaking his head. “ I… I WAS ALONE…” he whispered. “ AND THEY… AND SHE… IT HURT…” He choked on his tears and came to a stop. “ BUT IT WASN’T YOU, HUMAN! IT WASN’T, I… I KNOW IT WASN’T…”

I almost started crying myself and clung to him almost as hard as he did to me, dipping my head down to rest on the top of his skull. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”

He wriggled in my grasp. “ HUMAN, IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT! IT’S MY DREAM! THAT’S ALL IT IS. JUST A DREAM. THAT’S ALL.”

I couldn’t reply to this. I didn’t trust myself to.

He shifted a little nearer, dipping his head downward as if aiming for more seclusion. “ I APOLOGIZE, HUMAN,” he said. “ THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEVER CRIES, AND YET…” Here he trailed off into sorrowful silence.

“Hey,” I said, rolling him backwards a little bit so I could look at his face. He still held me loosely, looking up at me with a wet puppy-eyed expression. I tried for a smile. “Even if the Great Papyrus DID cry, I would feel honored that he would dain to lower himself to the level of us mere mortals who sometimes need to vent our feelings through tears.”

“ NYEH HEH,” he laughed wetly, looking the tiniest bit more like his old self.

I pulled him close again in a final hug. “There’s no need to be ashamed,” I told him, pressing my cheek against the side of his skull. “Tears are good things. They wash away the past. Get you ready for the future.”

He made an agreeing sound, nodding against me. He had stopped crying, at least. That was better.

There was a thumping sound from down the hallway. I gave Papyrus a nudge. “Now, I think your brother’s going through the same thing,” I said.

Papyrus swabbed at his sockets with the tip of his purple nightcap and sat upright, his expression turning determined. “ THEN THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE! COME, HUMAN!!!” He jumped out of bed and scampered for the door. There was no remedy for a sad person than giving them someone more in need of help than themselves. I followed at a slightly slower pace.

Sans’s room usually had glowing lights emanating from underneath the door. Weird flame-y lights of many colors. Now they were all overwhelmed by a pulsing blue light which was annunciated by spikes of movement from inside. Papyrus waited by the door for me, examining the lights and listening to the sounds with a worried expression. “ ARE YOU READY, HUMAN?” he asked.

I nodded. “Ready.”

The moment I entered, I wished I had not. Unlike when I peeked into Papyrus’s room, I was immediately brought into an Encounter. Sans stood in a sleepwalking trance, hands by his sides, a fierce glow emanating from his left eyesocket which held most of the items in the room in a suspended state. It was really messy in here, but I wasn’t sure if that wasn’t just the room’s natural state to begin with.

Papyrus edged around the Encounter square, population me, holding a hand out. “ SANS, YOU ARE SLEEPING! WAKE UP! STOP THIS NONESENSE!”

Sans mumbled something under his breath. Garbled music played. I couldn’t pick out a specific note sequence, but it sounded too close to Megalovania to be ignored. Any remaining traces of sleepiness that might have been left in my body were instantly banished as my soul turned from red to blue and I was slammed against the floor. I automatically jumped, and it was a good thing I did, because Sans’s first attack came fast from floor and ceiling. Papyrus stood transfixed, staring in slack-jawed amazement as first bones, then blasters attacked me from every angle.

These moves were like a dance to me now. I had memorized them. I could do them in my sleep, like Sans apparently was doing. But only after the first initial burst of action was completed the thought struck me – I had only 20 HP.

Oh no---

I had no time to think. Without even giving me a chance to take a turn Sans started his next attack. Again, another one of the simple ones. Blue bone directly followed by a white bone. You move backwards every jump, then stay still for the blue attacks. Papyrus had done something similar in his fight. I could do this. Sure, I could do this.

“ OH MY GOD SANS, STOP!!!”

I could hear Papyrus shout at his brother through the commotion, but I was a bit too preoccupied to notice much else. Next, platforms. The roof to the room was a little too low to make a true platform attack, but that made it a bit more challenging. I got nicked several times and there was a blaster attack with platforms to follow it up. Thankfully, the impact from Sans’s bones didn’t seem as intense this time around. I was allowed a brief period of invulnerability after being hit each time, and the poisoned feeling of HP slowly bleeding away wasn’t there at all. Thank goodness. The blasters didn’t impact the surrounding environment, but the nearby dresser was knocked over by his flailing magic and trombones scattered across the floor. They reflected his magic like mirrors.

“ SANS, STOP THIS AT ONCE! DON’T YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING???”

I was down to 5 HP. He wasn’t letting me get to my inventory. I had to make every movement count. Bones, platforms, more bones… now I was past what would be the second half of the round. Each ‘turn’ blended into one another, making them pass much more quickly than they originally would, and out of sequence, skipping some to get to others.

He slammed me against the walls. Bones poked out of the sides. I jumped. Just barely avoided them. His lamp fell to the ground and the bulb inside shattered. I could hear glass scatter across the floor.

A few more hits. 1 HP.

I’m going to die here, the thought struck suddenly. I’m going to die here in Sans’s room in a pacifist run with Papyrus watching. I’m going to have to go back to the last Save Point in Hotland and relive the evening all over again. And then what? What then?

Before I could continue on this train of thought, or give it anything more than a panicked look, a wall of bones rushed toward me. I didn’t have time to jump. No thoughts in my head except a numb expectation of the pain to come.

But it never did. Instead, I was surrounded by another wall of bones, this one more defensively built than Sans’s attacking ones. Behind the wall I could see Papyrus, one hand raised, his expression just as panicked as mine had been a second before. “ SANS, YOU’RE HURTING HER!!!” he declared, and I heard a trill of Bonetrousle flit through the cacophony of not-Megalovania. “ STOP THIS INSTANTLY! WAKE UP!!!”

Papyrus’s bone attacks look different than Sans’s, my brain belatedly informed me, the fountain of useless information spewing forth yet again. It really wasn’t the time, and I didn’t have enough time to think about it before Sans was at it again, summoning more Gaster Blasters from each side and attempting to hit me with them. It looked like he had jumped to the very last attack with his blasters on all sides, coming at me in a wheel. I heard a shout from Papyrus and was suddenly hedged in by a cage of closely-knit bones, shielding me as the Gaster Blasters made a vicious cacophony, attempting to bite through.

My heart turned blue one last time and Papyrus relinquished his bones just in time as I was whipped through the air. The box now eclipsed all of us, the entire room. I was slammed into his knocked-over dresser, smacked in the face with a trombone (which is NOT as funny as it sounds when you understand the thing is made of solid metal), and dragged through the broken glass from the lightbulb in his lamp.

“ SANS!!!!!!!!”

With this particularly loud exclamation I came to an abrupt stop at the top back corner of the room. Recollecting my dazed senses, I did my best to turn around to see what exactly I might expect next. Papyrus, apparently having given up on shielding for the need of haste, had tackled Sans to the ground, pinning him with his arms to the ground. This had not restrained Sans from using his magic to keep me aloft, but he did seem to be awake now. His one blue eye jerked from side to side and he seemed to breathe rapidly.

“p… papyrus…?” he gasped. His magic pulsed, easing somewhat, even though his eye still burned painfully bright. The blue magic on my soul and the surrounding objects ebbed and although my soul was still blue, I was dipped gradually toward the ground.

“ IT’S ME, SANS. I’M HERE.”

The magic faded entirely and I slumped to the floor on hands and knees. The Encounter was over. I ached through all my joints, even more than when I had just finished Undyne’s battle. It was extremely dark in the room, but Papyrus reached over and flipped on a nearby flashlight, giving the entire room a scant light to see by. “ IT’S ALRIGHT,” he urged, taking his brother by both arms and staring into his struggling face. “ IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM, SANS. I’M HERE NOW! IT’S ALRIGHT! SAVED ONCE AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

Sans leaned forward into Papyrus’s arms. His hand came up to cling to his brother’s shirtsleeve, grasping as if he held a lifeline, questing up and down his arm as if needing to confirm that he didn’t hold onto a ghost or a figment of his imagination. His wracking gasps turned into hard sobs, which he smothered in his brother’s shirt. Papyrus made little shushing noises like I had done with him a few minutes prior, reinstating that he was there and that Sans had nothing more to fear.

I pushed myself off the ground, concealing a grunt in my throat. This seemed like too sacred a moment to interrupt with any sort of sound. I just pretended, for a moment, like I wasn’t there. I knew Sans wouldn’t like me to see this moment of weakness. I knew that despite all his jokes and tomfoolery all the Resets he had gone through and the few caused by me had left him broken. This brokenness he would rather keep hidden, or pretend that it didn’t exist. It took a nightmare and a dimly lit room and the comfort of his brother’s steady grasp to allow him to display what he was feeling. What he had been going through, or a small portion of it at least.

I wanted to do something. Standing here awkwardly was NOT what I wanted to be doing when Sans eventually got a grip. Normally I would pull a tissue out of my pocket to offer up, since I normally had one to three in my pockets because I naturally have a runny nose, but those had disappeared when I gained an inventory. Pretty much all I had in my pocket right now was Dog Residue, which does not make for the most reconciliatory gift.

Something flickered in my distant memory – a green canister downstairs in the kitchen that looked suspiciously similar to one that Undyne had in hers. I limped forward, trying to keep the weight off of one of my two bruised knees, and touched Papyrus gently on the shoulder. “Hey, would the two of you like some hot chocolate?” I asked. “I saw some downstairs in the kitchen. I can make some for you if you’d like?”

Papyrus jiggled the small lump of his brother. “ HOW ABOUT IT, SANS? WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HOT COCOA? WOULD THAT CHEER YOU UP?”

Sans made a noise that was neither conformation nor opposition. But a moment later he gave a nod, his head still buried in Papyrus’s shirt. Papyrus looked up at me with a smile. “ I THINK THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE, HUMAN. THANK YOU.”

“Sure,” I responded, and made a hasty exit from the room.

I hated being at 1 HP. I hated being all bruised up. I hated myself for deserving to be all bruised up. I hated life for treating me this way. I hated whatever entity had forced me into this video game, or had possessed me to play it in the first place. But most of all, for the moment, I hated Papyrus’s sink for being so gosh diddly dang tall. I held the kettle in both hands, staring up at it like it was a mountain and I the flagbearer crying “Excelsior!” except I was a very bruised flagbearer at 1 HP and a murderer to boot.

Also, I was bleeding. I could feel it trickle down my face and a slash down my arm prickle. At least the Comfy Pajamas were short sleeved. I didn’t want to clean up just yet – I felt like I deserved some torment at least for the nightmares I had caused these poor people – but I also didn’t want to spill blood on my host’s clothes.

I scrambled up on the countertop to stand on it while I filled the kettle. I let my eyes glaze as I let the pot fill, glancing over the glass cuts on my left arm as it did. It wasn’t too bad, but it was bleeding a bit. I watched the blood well and tipped my arm so it beaded and rolled into the sink. I still didn’t want to clean it off just yet. I touched my face. Yup. Blood there too, just a little bit. I didn’t want to wash that off either, so I just held my head a little higher to keep it from dripping too far.

Kettle filled, I climbed back down, wincing at my various aches as I did so, and turned on the stove. I found three coffee mugs and put a couple spoonfuls of cocoa powder in each, plus some additional sugar and preparing a little bit of nutmeg and cayenne, just because I find those nice in hot chocolate. I also added some cream to the cups to richen it up a little.

Now the final step was to wait for the water to boil. I stared at the kettle, which was a bad idea because a watched pot never boiled, but I had nothing better to do with my time anyways. I just held my right hand against my left arm so that the blood wouldn’t get on my shirt and watched steam slowly begin to rise from the top of the kettle.

“geez, kid,” Sans’s voice greeted me hoarsely. His old smile was back but there was a fractured look behind his eyes that hinted about his prior breakdown. “my poor bro tries so hard to keep this kitchen ship-shape. ‘n here you go and bleed all over it. that’s, uh, not very civil of you.”

I gave a shrug, holding my arm even tighter. Sans motioned me forward and held out a hand. “lemme have a look at it.”

I shook my head tensely and took a step back. “I’m okay. But thanks.”

“sure you are,” he drawled. “now look, i don’t know all that much about humans, but i do know that when the red stuff starts coming out we have a bit of a problem. now listen, seeing as i made the problem in the first place… how ‘bout i patch you up?”

“I made the problem in the first place,” I corrected tersely, still looking away. I couldn’t meet his eyes right now, even if he truly was trying to help.

“don’t say that kiddo. it was my dream.”

I turned to him then. “I’m the one who CAUSED the dream! Don’t think I don’t know what you were dreaming about, or what Pap’rus was dreaming about! It’s—” My throat choked up and I had to stop or risk tears. “It’s my fault,” I confessed in a slightly more sober tone.

Sans touched my arm, I flinched, but he insisted, leading me to the bathroom by my shoulder, his grip firm but not rough. “sure, maybe in the last run,” he said, voice low. “but s’ far as i’ve seen, in this run you’ve done nothin’. and… from what i gathered i… uh… almost broke my promise this time round. which is a whole lot worse than anything you’ve done so far. don’t tell me you’re still beating yourself up when i’ve already beaten you up?” He gave a dry chuckle as we sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

I returned it, even though it was just because I have a broken sense of humor. Plus, his hand firmly cleaning the blood off my arm with a moist towel stung a bit and I needed some exclamation to come out of my mouth. But I had no real answer to this. Sans didn’t seem to be expecting one because he handed me the towel with a nod to my face, a wordless order to mop myself off. As I did, he dug out a bag of chips from who-knew-where, cracked it open and handed it to me. “here, eat up,” he offered. “this might take a minute.”

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”

Sans looked at me through his brows, motioning for the washcloth. “you’re at 1 hp, kiddo.”

I handed it to him. “So’re you.”

He wrung out the towel in the sink and set it aside. “mine’s different. ‘m at a hundred percent of my health right now. you, on the other hand, are at one-twentieth of yours. so… eat up. don’t make me beg.”

Normally I might have protested, but I really didn’t want to get into an argument right now. So I balanced the bag on my lap and began munching. My HP slowly rose as Sans leaned over my arm, concentrating hard. It began to glow with a greenish light and my skin began to knit back together over the cuts until only a puckered trace remained. Then Sans dropped my arm.

“’m not that good at healing magic,” he said. “my bro is better, but i think it’s best that i do it, considering the circumstances.”

“Thank you,” I said, inspecting the damage.

“sure thing, kid.”

He turned his attention to my face, tipping it downward so I stared down at his slippered feet. As far as I could tell, there was a small cut up by my hairline. It prickled as he healed it. Even though I told myself that he wasn’t going to hurt me, I still didn’t like being this close to him, especially with my face tipped down. I had to convince myself that he wouldn’t launch a sudden attack. It was a relief when he let go and allowed me to look up again. I still felt bruised, but not as bad.

The chip bag was empty. I crumpled it up and threw it in the trash can as I walked back into the kitchen. The kettle was boiling, making a low whistling sound. I began to pour it into the individual cups, stirring in the cocoa powder.

“by the way,” Sans said, leaning against the doorframe with a tired expression, “papyrus decided that we should all bed down here for the night. somethin’ about nightmares hitting everybody and making sure you had people around you just in case you got ‘em next.”

I frowned. “By ‘bed down here’, what do you mean by that exactly?”

“exactly what it sounds like. collect all the pillows and blankets we can find and lay ‘em all out like a big ol’ comforter and sleep on ‘em.”

This seemed a little too cozy for comfort. “That’s really not necessary,” I told him, stirring in the third cup of cocoa.

“well, between you and me… i think it’s mostly for his sake, you know? he really doesn’t like to be alone after one of these, so us all being together might just give him what he needs to get some extra rest tonight. now normally i’d just let you have your space, seeing as we don’t know how the nightmare will hit, if it even does. i’d rather be farther away just in case you start swinging. but on the other hand it’ll make my brother happy to have a sleepover party thing downstairs. don’t mean to push it or anything, but i don’t really think you have much of a choice.” He waved a hand toward the living room entrance, where I could hear fluffy thumping noises. “he’s already gathering all the pillows and blankets as we speak so… if you’ve got any major concerns, i’d go out there and voice them now.”

I thought it over, mouth pursed. I trusted Papyrus to be considerate of my personal space. Sans too, come to think of it. He probably didn’t want to be any closer to me than he had to. The thought of sleeping next to two guys was weird, but considering that none of us really wanted to be left alone, it seemed a plausible plan. “Okay,” I finally agreed. “If Pap’rus wants it after all.”

“it’s a plan then. you uh… done with that cocoa yet?”

“Yup,” I said, sprinkling in some additional nutmeg and giving it a final taste before handing it over. “Here ya go.”

“thanks.” Sans held the mug in one hand and gestured to the other room with the other. “i’ll be in there. c’ya.”

I gathered up the other two mugs and followed. Papyrus was swamped in an absolute SEA of pillows. More than we have at my residence and we house six people. They covered the floor far past his ankles and he was busy untangling a bunch of blankets, spreading it out on top of the pillows. “ OHO, IS THAT THE HOT CHOCOLATE I SEE???” he exclaimed upon noticing my appearance.

“Yessir it is.” I handed one mug over to him. “That’s one for you and one for me. And Sans already has his.”

“indeed-i-do,” Sans raised his in a toast, lounging on one of the couch arms.

“ JUST IN TIME, THEN!”  Papyrus held his hot cocoa cupped in both hands. “ I HAVE CALIBRATED THE PILLOWS FOR MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY!!! WE WILL HAVE NO TROUBLE NAPPING HERE TONIGHT!”

“Sounds good,” I said. “Where’s my side?”

“ YOU WILL BE RIGHT HERE, HUMAN!” Papyrus motioned somewhere near the middle. “ AS YOU HAVE NOT HAD A NIGHTMARE YET, YOU ARE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE. THEREFORE!!! I HAVE PUT YOU IN THE MIDDLE TO HAVE THE BEST PROTECTION! SANS WILL NAP ON ONE SIDE AND I WILL NAP ON THE OTHER! IT IS FOOLPROOF!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”

I wasn’t sure if this was how nightmares worked, nor how they were best thwarted. But my biggest peeve was being put in the middle. Having a couple sisters who rolled in their sleep, and having read a Portal fanfiction that I never should have continued after the first initial red flags wherein a certain character gets too hands-on in their sleep, I couldn’t help feeling this was ill-judged. “Are you sure… about this…?” I pressed.

“ QUITE SURE, HUMAN! THERE IS PLENTY OF SPACE FOR ALL!” He plumped himself down on the side to the left with his back to the couch, waving an arm as if to display the accuracy of this statement.

Okay, so there was some room to spare. This satiating my discomfort a little bit, I wandered over to join him. Papyrus took a deep sip of his hot cocoa and I watched in interest to see if any drops would dribble from the obvious hole in the bottom of his mouth. None did.

“ MMM, TASTES SPICEY!” he declared. “ WHAT DID YOU PUT IN IT?”

“I added some nutmeg and cayenne,” I said, taking a sip myself. “And a little bit of cream.”

“ WOWIE! A CHEF OF THE MOST CULTURED PALETTE! PERHAPS I SHOULD LEARN A FEW RECIPIES FROM YOU TO ACCENTUATE MY WORLD-RENOWNED SPAGHETTI!!!”

I smiled and shrugged. “Maybe.”

Of course Sans had to butt in with several spice-related puns, and of course Papyrus had to yell over it. A couple pillows were thrown, but none in true earnest. We finished our hot chocolate and gathered the blankets around us. Neither skeleton bedded down too close to me and I allowed myself to untense. Papyrus flipped off the lights and jumped into place, settling down after a cheerful, “ GOODNIGHT SANS AND HUMAN!”

“g’night, bro,” Sans replied from my other side.

“Goodnight, Papyrus,” I said, closing my eyes. Most of my aches had faded somewhat after Sans’s healing, and tiredness overtook my body.

“ ANY CHANCE OF A BEDTIME STORY?” Papyrus whispered a moment later.

“i already read you one earlier tonight, bro,” Sans said, yawning. “maybe the human’ll do it.”

“ OH? WILL YOU?”

“Not tonight,” I told him, nestling a little deeper in my covers. “Maybe sometime later.”

“ OH. ALRIGHT. GOODNIGHT THEN.”

“G’night.”

“night.”

That was the end of it. Even though Papyrus shifted a few times, making grunting “ NYEH” noises as he rearranged his blankets, everything else was quiet. Sans was silent as a stone and there was no light anywhere, not even from the tv at our feet. My eyes drifted closed and I slept.

Maybe Papyrus understood the concept of nightmares better than I did, because that night I got one too. I dreamed that I killed Papyrus at the exit to Snowdin, right in front of Sans, and Sans was waiting with glowing eyes for his brother to dust so he could kill me. I was afraid, deathly afraid, because I didn’t want to kill him. I hadn’t wanted to. It had just happened. My hand had moved and every time I stepped close I stabbed him another time. Papyrus’s head was just lying there in the snow telling me that it was going to be alright as if he didn’t know that he was dying. And I was so scared that Sans would kill me again and I couldn’t make it stop. I was drowning in dust. And Papyrus was dying.

I woke up flailing in the dark, harsh, rasping breaths choking out from my parted lips. Then I was being held and words were being spoken to me, although for a while I couldn’t make sense of them. I just held on tight until I could comprehend that it was Papyrus holding me, like I had comforted him earlier that same night.

My gasps turned to sobbing and I gurgled as I pressed my face into his shoulder. My hands quested for his neck, just to make sure that his head was attached to his body. “Are you alright? Please, please say that you’re alright.”

“ I AM FINE, HUMAN! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS GREAT AS ALWAYS.”

“I’m sorry—” My words came out in a whispered gasp as I tried to cry quieter. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.”

“ HUMAN, THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SORRY ABOUT! IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM!”

“No it wasn’t.”

“ YES, IT WAS! YOU WERE SLEEPING!”

“No. No.”

“ SHH, IT’S ALRIGHT. YOU’RE SAFE NOW.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“ HERE, LET’S TUCK YOU BACK IN. I’LL STAY HERE BY YOUR SIDE UNTIL YOU REST AGAIN. WE’LL KEEP THE BAD DREAMS AWAY.”

“Sans?”

“ SANS? HE’S STILL NAPPING.”

“Don’t tell him I was crying. Please?”

“ SANS WOULD UNDERSTAND, HUMAN. DON’T FRET.”

“Pap’rus?”

“ YES, HUMAN?”

I clung to his wrist, eyes tight closed, and made no answer. He sat beside me and there he stayed until I was asleep once more.

Chapter Text

Chapter 33

“HUMAN, SANS, IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP. WE HAVE A LONG DAY AHEAD OF US.”

I was awoken by Papyrus gently shaking my shoulder and stepping over me to do the same to Sans. The latter skeleton made a groaning sound like a door hinge and rolled over. “just five more minutes, bro.”

My eyes were still a bit crunchy from crying the night before, so I made an unseen nod in agreement and closed them again. But Papyrus burst out, “UGH, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! A BRAND NEW DAY IS STARING US RIGHT IN THE FACE AND YOU IGNORE IT! WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF PASSION!?! YOUR SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE?!?”

“think i left it under the blankets. hold on, lemme check.”

Papyrus made a disgusted sound. “SANS! STOP BURROWING!!!! HUMAN, THIS IS NO TIME FOR GIGGLING!!! WHY DON’T YOU BE A GOOD EXAMPLE TO MY LAZYBONES BROTHER AND GET UP?”

I flipped onto my back, but this made it even harder to rise. “Okay,” I agreed anyway.

“ANY TIME NOW???” suggested Papyrus.

“I’m workin’ on it.”

“so ‘m i,” Sans’s muffled voice came from the depths of the blankets.

“HONESTLY!!!” Papyrus bellowed.

My eyes popped open in amazement as the skeleton-in-a-blanket just became a blanket as Papyrus snatched Sans from its depths, whisking him out with a firm grip under the arms and setting him upright in the span of a single second. Sans didn’t even look surprised. I did, though, and that surprise turned quickly to fear as Papyrus turned his ferocious gaze to me next.

“Nuuuuuu!” I wailed, clutching my arms around myself and rolling to the side, afraid of being hauled up by the armpits next. “Papyrus nu, pleez! I’ll be good, I’ll get up, just gimme a minute, okay? Please?”

Papyrus gave a sigh, putting his hands on his hips. “ALRIGHT, FINE! I’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR NOW. BUT YOU’D BETTER KEEP YOUR PROMISE YOUNG MISSY!!!”

“Okay,” I agreed meekly, rolling back over to face him and loosening the pile of blankets holding me down. It was kind of funny how over the past twelve hours each of us had taken a turn being the ‘mom friend’. Guess it was Papyrus’s turn now.

Papyrus marched away and Sans sat down beside me. “welp,” he said, “strike one means there are two more strikes to go, right? so… goodnight.” And he began to lay back down again.

“Nooooooo,” I protested, splaying myself to block the route back to his pillow. He really hadn’t been sleeping close to me, so I had to stretch myself out quite a bit.

“oh c’mon, kid. guy like me needs his beauty rest.”

“Nooo, we have to be good for Pap’rus,” I pouted.

“so get up.”

“So YOU get up.”

“i’m already up.”

“That doesn’t count!”

“you count even less.”

“But if I get up you’ll get down!”

“since when was that your problem?”

I paused to think over another suggestion. “How about a truce?”

“meaning… we both go back to sleep?”

“No! Then Papyrus would murder us both! And that’s not what we want to happen!”

Sans just chuckled at that. “yeah, guess not. so what’s your plan?”

“We BOTH get up, I go to the bathroom and you go to your room. We both get dressed and meet back downstairs in the kitchen when we’re ready for the day. Sound good?”

“mmm, not really.” Sans scratched the side of his skull. “for one, that would mean abandoning the pillows down here, and i don’t really feel up to doing that.” He made another effort to lay down, but I pushed him.

“You’re going to need to do that anyway, eventually,” I told him relentlessly.

“sure, maybe. and for another thing, my room is still all messed up from last night. ‘s much nicer down here.”

“ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT TRUE!!!” declared Papyrus, sticking his head out from the kitchen. “I TOOK THE INITIATIVE THIS MORNING TO CLEAN UP OUR ROOMS SO THEY ARE PERFECTLY LIVABLE AGAIN!”

“See? No excuses there,” I said, finally getting myself into an upright position.

Sans sighed. “you talked me into it, kiddo. guess your charms were just too much for this old lazybones to handle. welp. here i go.”

With that he raised himself upright and walked straight out the front door. I shook off my concern because at least he was up, and went to take a morning shower.

Dressed in my newly cleaned clothes (seriously, how early was Papyrus up this morning?) I made an appearance in the kitchen. “HERE YOU ARE!!!” Papyrus exclaimed, turning around with his chef’s hat proudly perched on his head, several spoons in his left hand. “I WAS JUST MAKING READY TO PREPARE BREAKFAST!”

Oh drat. There would be no quiche to save me this time.

Or so I thought, but Sans intercepted with the quiches just like last time. He was dressed in his normal hoodie again, so I guessed he had at least made a stop up to his room before gathering the breakfast offering. “coffee, kiddo?” he offered, nodding toward the coffeepot.

“Uh… yes please.”

“cream? sugar? both? or neither?”

“Both, please.”

“ok, pussycat.”

He batted them in my direction. I snorted, but I didn’t feel up to playing along like I had last time. I just ladled a generous portion of both into my cup and stared dully as it was mixed in.

“hey, the quiches are for you, by the way,” Sans said softly, taking me by surprise. “as a thank you, of sorts.”

“A thank you?” I repeated. “For what?”

“well the thing is… i heard what you were saying last night. back when you thought i couldn’t hear? you know, when you had that nightmare.”

Oh. So he had been awake through that? Huh.

“and that got me thinking… you, uh… seemed pretty rattled last night and i heard you apologizing to my bro. now, i don’t think you would have been saying sorry that many times if you didn’t really mean it. so… for now at least… consider yourself acquitted.”

“Oh,” I said. “Th- thank you…?”

What else did you say to something like that? I had been sorry – I still WAS sorry – but to have my half-dreaming words taken as evidence to my sincerity was a little embarrassing. I took a sip of my coffee, unsure what to say next.

Thankfully I didn’t have to because Papyrus finished his appraisal of the quiches and called us to the breakfast table. Although the atmosphere was lighthearted, Sans’s words had forced me to remember the night before and my mood became heavy. Even though Sans and I knew the truth of my apologies, I didn’t want Papyrus to just think of my words as meaningless. I wanted him to know that I was sincere. That they weren’t just words spoken to the darkness, but mindful, heartful apologies to HIM. Because of what I had done to him.

A thought began to formulate in my mind. Not a nice thought. Not even a good thought. But a thought. And as I thought that thought I began to think it through for real. It became a plan. An absolutely terrible, awful plan, but…

Should I?

No. That was the straight answer. I shouldn’t.

But did I want to?

Yeah. Kinda, but also not, but… yeah, I did.

Would I? Could I? Was it even possible?

No, probably not.

But still, the idea was firmly planted in my brain. Even as I suggested the Undyne hangout with Papyrus and made plans to ride the riverboat with him to her house (I didn’t feel in the mood to join in on the condiment puns this time around) the idea was still rooted.

Papyrus went outside to wait for me, but I went around him to get some HP supplies first. When I came back, instead of telling him that I was ready, I peeked back inside the house to see if Sans was still waiting around. He wasn’t. He was gone.

My idea… was actually possible? I had Saved when I was coming back from my supply run. This… could actually work?

“HUMAN!!! ARE YOU READY TO GO TO WATERFALL TO MEET WITH UNDYNE!?”

“Actually, Pap’rus,” I asked, peeking my head out the front door and nodding back inside, “can I talk to you about something?”

“OF COURSE, HUMAN!!! BUT… WOULDN’T IT BE MORE EFFICIENT TO WALK WHILE WE TALK?”

Oh drat, was I really doing this? Well, I could reload at any time, so why not just see where this path took me?

“Actually, I kinda need to talk in private. It’s… personal.”

“PERSONAL, YOU SAY???” exclaimed Papyrus in a way that diminished the secrecy of the entire mission. He followed me inside with a wide smile. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM THE VERY BEST TO TRUST WITH PERSONAL MATTERS!!!” He sat back down at the kitchen table and folded his hands, the very image of eagerness. “BEGIN WHEN YOU ARE READY, HUMAN!!! I WILL LISTEN MOST ATTENTIVELY.”

Now that I was actually doing this, I didn’t know where to begin. The same problem that had struck with Sans was the same with Papyrus. I hemmed and hawed as Papyrus sat expectantly, both hands folded in front of him on the kitchen table while he smiled encouragingly.

I gave an embarrassed laugh. “There’s just so much!” I exclaimed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“DON’T WORRY, HUMAN!!!” Papyrus declared with a large, enthusiastic smile. “THE ANTICIPATION IS ONLY BUILDING MY EXCITEMENT!!!”

Well, no help from that quarter.

“I… um… okay…” I started hesitantly. “I’m… I’m not from this world…”

“I KNOW,” Papyrus said.

“Wh- what?” I was startled. Papyrus had figured it out? Him? Of all people?

“I KNEW IT LONG AGO!” He pointed a finger upwards toward the ceiling. “YOU CAME FROM THE HUMAN WORLD UP ABOVE!!! NOT WITH US MONSTERS DOWN HERE!”

“Oh!” So that’s what he meant. “No, I’m not even from that world! I’m… I’m from a different… universe altogether!”

Papyrus clenched his brows and held his hands in a praying position up to his mouth, in all appearances deep in thought. “SO… YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN AFTER ALL???”

“No,” I corrected once again. “I am a human. I’m just not a human from this universe. I’m from a universe where monsters never existed. There were only humans, ever. And your world is locked inside a video game called Undertale.”

Papyrus was much more enthusiastic about this disclosure than Sans, interjecting every so often to ask questions, or to declare how he must have been the best character, or how his battle must have been the hardest, etcetera etcetera etcetera. It was fun to hear him gush, but it just fueled my unease as per my disclosure which would come as soon as I completed phase one of my revelation.

I paused, trying to figure out how to best phrase the introduction to the bad part, and Papyrus took up the slack. “SO, YOU’RE SAYING THAT YOU COME FROM A UNIVERSE WHERE OUR WHOLE WORLD IS A GAME… THE SUBJECT OF THIS GAME – THE PLAYABLE CHARACTER – IS A HUMAN CHILD NAMED FRISK. AND FRISK, AS PART OF A VIDEO GAME, CANNOT DIE BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY RETURN TO THE LAST POINT OF SAVING, AND THAT PART WAS INHERITED BY YOU WHEN YOU ENTERED THE GAME IN A BIZARRE HAPPENSTANCE WHICH YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN. THUS, YOU HAVE ENDEVORED TO CONTINUE IN THE FOOTSTEPS SET BY THE PROTAGONIST, VENTURING THROUGH EACH LAND AND BESTING EACH ENCOUNTERED MONSTER IN A PACIFISTIC MANNER BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE BY DOING SO YOU MIGHT REACH AN ENDING AND RETURN HOME. IS THIS RIGHT???”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, satisfied by his recap. “But, uh… there’s… one part I haven’t told you yet.”

“OH??? THEN I AWAIT WITH ALL EAGERNESS!!!”

“I… do you… remember the dream you had last night?”

Papyrus’s face fell. “OH… THAT DREAM. THAT DREAM… IS BETTER NOT SPOKEN ABOUT.” He tried for a cheerful smile, but I could see sweat on his skull.

“It… it was real.” I faltered, but hastened to continue before Papyrus could intervene. “This is actually the third time I’ve gone through this game. From the inside, I mean. Not… not outside, through the screen. If we’re counting that, then this is the fourth time. But I was telling you about when I just came into the game. I didn’t know then… that when I entered it made two timelines. One where I did what I wanted to, and tried to let everyone live. Tried to save everyone. But in the other…” I couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I… that timeline was created by my curiosity. When I went into the game… I was curious about a different route I might take. What would happen… if I killed everyone… instead of saved them. I created that universe. It… came into being just by me wondering… if it was possible. It… an alternate timeline was created at the first time as the other one, and in that timeline I actually did what I had first set out to do. I killed… almost everyone.”

A lump was beginning to grow in my throat. I looked up at Papyrus. He looked stunned. “I killed you,” I whispered. “In that other timeline.” I looked back down again and doggedly continued. “I killed Undyne too. Sans… he even tried to stand up to me. I came to myself near the end. The two timelines converged and I found myself in the alternate timeline, covered…”

In people’s dust. I couldn’t say the words. They were too gruesome.

“Sans tried to stop me,” I continued. “He... wouldn’t listen to me when I said that I didn’t do anything. I had, it was me that killed them—”

“BUT IT WASN’T!!!” cried Papyrus, still looking shocked. “IT WASN’T YOU, IT WAS THE OTHER YOU!!! WASN’T IT…?”

I let out a bitter chuckle. “No, it… it was me. Both of the timelines was me. And I’m glad that Sans stood up to me when he did, because that other half of me… my Curiosity still tried to take over. Make me finish the game. The final route. Finally I convinced Sans to listen to me, but he only said he would if I finished the Fight. I killed him. Pap’rus, I killed your brother.”

Papyrus acted as if he would speak several times, but he never did.

“After he… after the Fight ended, the part of me that was curious didn’t have much of a hold anymore. Or at least that’s what I think happened. I only wanted to get to him. When I first wanted to do that route it was because… he was one of the toughest monsters in the game.” I peeked up to gauge Papyrus’s reaction. He looked troubled, but I couldn’t single out from what. “You… you would’ve been very proud of him.”

“YES…” said Papyrus. “I WOULD’VE. I… I AM VERY PROUD OF HIM.”

He was looking down at the tabletop, wearing an expression that concerned me. I went back to the original topic.

“Well, we separated for a little bit, me and my Curiosity. The part of me that had control over the first part of that timeline. She… talked to me for a little bit. Called me weak and everything…”

“BUT… HUMAN, YOU’RE NOT WEAK AT ALL!” Papyrus declared, looking suddenly more alert than he had been just a moment prior. “ALL THESE THINGS THAT YOU’VE BEEN TELLING ME… IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE FAR STRONGER THAN ANY OF US HERE UNDERGROUND! OR OVER THE GROUND, FOR THAT MATTER!!” He didn’t look fearful. Just earnest.

“Well, she didn’t mean I was weak for all of that,” I tried to explain. “Just weak for trying to back out. For trying to Reset instead of going forward and finishing the route.”

“SO YOU DID GO BACK!?”

“Obviously,” I chuckled, giving a wry motion to myself. “But it… didn’t undo everything. You still have those memories in your dreams, those are from me. And some people kind of remember, at least a little bit. And I…” There was too much to say in the silence I left. I let him fill in the blanks if he wanted. “I hurt you in that last timeline,” I told him. “I hurt so… so many people and I know I can never make it up to you, no matter what I do it’ll just be THERE and NOBODY’LL know about it and I don’t—”

My words had become clustered and I cut myself short as hysteria began to jumble them together. Papyrus had made a small movement towards me when I started to sound distraught but I flinched away from him, clamping my jaw shut. “It… it’s MY fault you had those dreams last night,” I said when I had gotten myself in better control. “Both you and Sans and… I don’t know who else might’ve had them. You can’t be the only ones because like I mentioned it was a LOT of people.” A laugh shook my shoulders, but I held them stiffer to keep myself in check. “I… I can’t…”

No. This was off topic. I couldn’t allow myself to act like this. Not in front of him. Not now. This wasn’t the point. I needed to bring myself back to the actual point, which was…

“I… the real reason I wanted to talk to you, to tell you all this…” I said, forcing myself to unclench and look at him with (mostly) steady eyes, “I wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry. I don’t know how much you remember, but… you were only trying to help me and I…” I gulped. “I struck you down where you stood. While you told me that you…”

No. No tears. Not now.

My plea went unanswered and they pricked the backs of my eyelids. I turned my face aside.

“…That you still believed in me.”

Get it under control. Deep breaths. Come on now. Swallow it back down. There we go.

I still couldn’t look at him, even when the threat of tears had abated. I stared at the tabletop and his red mittens instead. “All I wanted for this was… to ask for your forgiveness, even though I really don’t deserve it. And…” I had no continuation. I just let it trail off there with several nods and a shrug which was more like a twitch.

Papyrus burst out, “PREPOSTEROUS!!!” and stood up, hands flat on the table before him. “DO NOT BEG FOR MY FORGIVENESS, HUMAN, BECAUSE IT IS FREELY GIVEN!!!” He stood upright in front of my rather startled visage, and thumped his chest. “IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE MADE MANY MISTAKES, AND THOUGH THEY BE OF THE RATHER… UNSAVORY VARIETY…” He faltered, but then resumed with an even louder volume, “THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU OVERCAME YOUR SELFISH DESIRES, RISING ABOVE WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS POSSIBLE AND TURNING YOUR BACK ON EVILDOING TO BRING JOY INTO OTHERS’ LIVES!!! YOU OVERPOWERED YOUR ALTERNATE SELF (WHO STILL DOESN’T MAKE MUCH SENSE TO ME), AND TURNED BACK TIME ITSELF TO RIGHT THE WRONGS YOU HAVE CREATED! YOU MAY NOT THINK OF YOURSELF AS SUCH A CHAMPION, FOR MANY WRONGS HAVE INDEED BEEN DONE, BUT YOU TOOK THAT STEP TO CHANGE YOURSELF, AND THE WORLD, FOR THE BETTER! AN ACT THAT MAY HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS HIMSELF! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!!” He laughed in the old way with his head thrown back.

I gasped out a laugh, overwhelmed by his speech. “You…” I couldn’t think what to add to that. Just allowed myself to smile. He still believed in me. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t dismissive. He saw my sins for what they were and still forgave me. I had hoped this would be the outcome, but still… it was like liquid life to hear it from him. I shook my head silently back and forth. “You truly are the greatest of the great, Papyrus,” I said at last.

“OF COURSE!!! THAT’S WHY I HAVE SUCH A NAME AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL!!! AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE CONFIDED IN ME, I CAN ASSIST YOU IN YOUR ROAD BACK TO GOODNESS! NOTHING WOULD BRING ME GREATER PLEASURE THAN TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL AND GET YOU HOME SAFELY!”

My smile faded. Here came the final phase of my plan. Now that it came down to it, I didn’t want to do it at all. But between this and the alternative… no, it had to be this way.

“Pap’rus…” I started, but there was a long pause before I could work up the gumption to finish. “I’m going to reload.”

“RE… RELOAD??” Papyrus looked startled. “BUT… DEAR HUMAN, ONLY YOUR MEMORIES PASS THROUGH REWRITTEN TIME! IF YOU RELOAD IT WILL BE AS IF THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED!!”

I nodded several times very quickly, looking away. “I know.”

“BUT… BUT WHY???” His voice didn’t sound demanding, scared, or angry. Only an insistence to understand. “WHY DO YOU WISH ME TO FORGET???”

I buried my face in my hands. Why did he have to phrase it that way? I hated stories with amnesia! If it was handled the right way, like in Anastasia, I was alright with it, but handled the wrong way it completely freaked me out. I always felt so sorry for the characters who had it, having a piece of their lives missing, unable to find out what it was. I had become the very definition of the thing I feared and hated. “I… it was selfishness, okay?” I exclaimed. “I just… I needed you to know what had happened in that other timeline, and I needed to know whether you still thought that I was worth believing in, even after all that I had done! You shouldn’t have known in the first place, it wasn’t my secret to give out, and… I can’t do this over again if it messes up the ending. You knowing could seriously affect the timeline – this timeline – and I really, really, REALLY don’t want to Reset again!” Just thinking about reliving this entire timeline again almost made me start hyperventilating again.

“COULD IT DO THAT?” Papyrus asked, and there was no desperation. “AS SIMPLE A THING AS ME KNOWING COULD CHANGE THE COURSE OF TIME?”

Papyrus was the one who gathered everyone together at the Pacifist Ending. If he didn’t listen to Flowey… if what I had said possibly made him do something different…

“Yeah,” I answered. “And I wouldn’t reload otherwise, but…”

That was a lie. I wanted to reload. I wanted this not to be between us anymore.

Papyrus’s expression switched many times. He patted the tabletop and moved a few paces away. “WELL THEN…” he said at last. “IF YOU WISH THIS, I WILL NOT TRY TO CONVINCE YOU NOT TO.” He turned back to me with a semblance of his old grin on his face. “BUT BEFORE YOU DO… MAY I DO SOMETHING?”

Before I could agree, Papyrus brought us both into an Encounter. “I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH FROM… BEFORE…” he said. “BUT!!! I DO REMEMBER THIS, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT.”

And he opened up his arms.

“IF YOU TRULY WANT TO CHANGE, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS TIME,” he requested. “I AM TRUSTING YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING.”

I pushed back the kitchen chair and stood up. It almost scared me to walk into his arms, since the last person who had offered such a gesture had granted only death, but I wrapped my own arms around him, burying my head in his scarf. He felt different with his battle body on, as opposed to last night when he had been in pajamas. Tougher. More durable. Royal guard material. He hugged me tightly, holding on as if he never wanted to let go.

“I’m sorry.” My words came out muffled.

“BUT HUMAN, I HAVE ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU! YOU HAVE NOTHING MORE TO APOLOGIZE FOR!”

“No… I’m sorry for… this.” I waved my hand behind his back, a demonstration for the situation around us.

“OH… WELL, IF IT’S SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER… SOMETHING THAT GETS YOU PAST THIS TRAUMA… I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO BE OF SERVICE! NYEH HEH HEH!” a final  “HEH” came out like a sigh. “DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS?” He asked.

My grip tightened somewhat and I clenched my eyes closed. I sucked in a breath through my nose, nodding. He smelled like Mettaton’s self-care products. Kind of metallic but musky like cologne, and underneath the dry scent of bones. “Yeah. I do.”

“WELL THEN, NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. THE GREAT PAPYRUS TOLERATES NO TARDINESS.”

I chuckled, still leaning against him like a support. It was just like him to push me into this. “Okay. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“ABSOLUTELY!!! AND THEN WE CAN GO TO UNDYNE’S HOUSE AND MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER, RIGHT?!?”

“Yep,” I said. Still holding on tightly, I began to count down. “Five… four… three… two…”

I wanted to go back. Take me back to the Save Point.

“…one.”

In a moment’s time I was walking back up to the house, trying to convince myself that I didn’t regret anything. Papyrus stood in front of the house, turning to me with a big grin when I approached. “HUMAN!!! ARE YOU READY TO GO TO WATERFALL TO MEET WITH UNDYNE!?”

Before I could answer, he gave his head a little shake. “HMM… THAT WAS ODD…”

“What?” I demanded, trying to act as if I wasn’t all that intrigued and didn’t really want it to be anything at all.

“I… I DON’T REALLY KNOW…” Papyrus gave his head another shake and his grin resumed at full force. “WELL, IF IT WAS IMPORTANT IT’LL COME TO ME! COME, HUMAN!!! THE RIVERPERSON AWAITS!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!”

And with that he ran ahead to wait for me at the north side of Snowdin. Still shaking inside, I followed. Of all the plans I had ever had, the one I had just pulled was the worst. But did I regret it? No.

Or at least that was what I told myself.

Chapter Text

Chapter 34

Undyne was much less intimidating on this visit. Maybe it’s because I had seen her at truly terrifying, so now her anger spikes were less alarming. Either way, even though we ended up burning her house down (again), I had something of a pleasant time.

Once again I marched through Hotland. I tried to be a little more gentle with Alphys than usual. I hadn’t seen her at all during the last route, but I knew she had seen me. Whether she remembered anything about it, whether she had had dreams last night like the skeleton brothers, I didn’t dare to think. Either way, she deserved a fair share of kindness.

Mettaton was just as overdramatic as usual, and now that I had been through everything once I found myself actually enjoying myself a little with his overbearing stunts and enactments. I didn’t need to fear about death until later, so the segments we spent together were a tiny bit enjoyable. Just a tiny bit.

I wanted to enjoy everything. I wanted for it to be as if I was just experiencing everything for the first time. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let myself. I wouldn’t.

Everything passed so much more quickly this time around, or so it seemed. Either more quickly or more slowly. Somehow both. I had been through it all before, so I knew what was going to happen. The events that I thought had taken a lifetime when I had lived through it once now passed by in a flash the second time. Those that I remembered happening quickly now dragged on for forever.

Even though Mettaton’s drama was entertaining, the way he continued to speak long after his words held any meaning began to grate. He noticed once, when I zoned out a little bit as he came down the steps, dressed in his Cinderella gown. He offered to skip his song in a mild but disappointed way that suggested that a show was no fun to put on if its only seen recipient wasn’t paying attention. I waved him to continue and opted to pay better attention in the future.

Muffet’s battle was easily avoided by munching down the Spider Donut I had saved and I continued on my way tense and covered in webs, but unharmed.

Sans invited me to MTT Resort and I accepted, if only for the air conditioning and to take a load off my feet. We didn’t talk about anything much. Like last time we were here, he skipped the story about himself and the lady behind the door and opted to talk about my forward journey, asking a couple more questions about my plans but steering away from the past timeline. I think he sensed neither of us wanted to talk about it.

Alphys guided me through the Core, which was just as confusing this time around. As usual, she grew frazzled and hung up, leaving me alone to wander my way through on my own. Once I reached the top, I took the elevator down, stocked up on food from Burgerpants – who I tried speak genteelly with but the lackluster way he had responded to my genocide still grated on me – and headed back up again, calculating my food usage. I hadn’t died yet this run. I didn’t want to break that streak.

And I didn’t. Mettaton’s attacks seemed easier to dodge when I knew what I was expecting. I performed with much cheer as I could scrounge, putting my worries to the side and allowing myself to forget, for a brief time, what pressed so deeply on my mind and only think about the cheers of the audience. I let myself be fueled by the spotlights and the music, burning with a passion as I twirled and danced around Mettaton’s attacks, posing to the applause of many.

Mettaton was defeated. He sat with a blank expression as his battery finally ran out, the music dying as his final words to me and then to his audience falling from his lips. His arms and legs were gone. He was just a stump. A glamourous, bedazzled stump in the glow of a shimmering spotlight, but a stump nonetheless.

Alphys came. She bowed over her creation, trying to act as if it was alright, even though she had been scared just two seconds previously that her friend was gone forever. I walked toward the far end of the room, trying to remind myself that this was the only timeline now. There was no need to be afraid of being whipped into an alternate future. And yet I still felt tense.

Alphys came up behind me, her toenails tapping on the floor as she caught up. I smiled at her, relieved that there was no discord inside my head this time, but also a little nervous. The Judgement Hall was coming up again. If there was one place I didn’t want to go, it was there.

At the entrance to the elevator to the capital, Alphys stopped me. She told me what I already knew about how I would need a monster’s soul to cross the barrier. How I would need to kill Asgore. Then, ashamed, she scampered away.

I sat down in the elevator like last time, reenacting my forward path in my mind, running over it again like a game plan. The hum of the elevator was like white noise, dull and monotonous. I couldn’t decide whether I hated it or preferred its company to silence. I knew what was up ahead, but I didn’t want to go through with it. Not really. I wanted to go back and hang out with Papyrus and Undyne. I wanted to see what they were up to and mess around, not go into this whole messy situation with the neutral ending.

I took out my phone, hoping that maybe this time they could hear me, but the Core blocked the signal. I put it down. But really, what would I have said if they had picked up? I couldn’t say goodbye – I wasn’t really leaving! But still… I couldn’t help wishing that their voices could keep me company for a little longer.

The elevator doors swished open and I disembarked, beginning the long trek through the capital. I was glad for it. Even though I kept marching at a steady pace, I wanted to slow down. My Determination kept me going strong. Asgore’s house was in the distance before I knew it and the gentle sound of acoustic guitar made me unclench somewhat as I approached.

I could do this.

The monsters told me about the first fallen human. They told me about Asriel. This time I was able to listen to the entire story without Flowey’s interruptions. I bypassed Chara and Asriel’s old room, feeling sick to my stomach when I thought of the locket and dagger within. I was simply happy to continue walking and enjoy the little breaks when they whipped me into an Encounter because it was one more delay before I reached Judgement. An excuse to stop walking. To listen.

But then the last Froggit was talking. The story had ended. I stepped into the Last Corridor. Not looking at anything else, I Saved.

I closed my eyes, blocking out the golden light. For a moment only there was nothing. No music. No light. Only darkness. Only me.

I Saved once more, and while the Determination was still flush within me I started moving, keeping my eyes fixed on the single point where I was sure Sans would appear. Even though I tried not to, my feet regained that steady pattern they had once used when I marched down that same corridor, time after time, marching to my death.

Step-pah. Step-pah. Step-pah. Step-pah.

And ONE and TWO and THREE and FOUR…

I hated how I had fallen back into that same old pattern. My heart was racing in anticipation, my entire body gearing up for a fight. Even now it tried to convince me that there would be a fight, that Sans was going to come after me no matter what timeline I was in. But no – I had to contest that feeling. It wasn’t true. He wouldn’t. I had to believe that he wouldn’t.

Thirty-THREE thirty-FOUR thirty-FIVE thirty-SIX…

I was getting close. Just a few more steps.

Forty-SIX forty-SE’VN forty-EIGHT…

Blink.

There he was. I settled on the forty-ninth step as a bell tolled overhead. It rang three times.

“I hate this place,” I said out loud, more out of compulsion than anything else. The shadowed figure before me made no movement, but my mind tried to convince me that he would take a sudden strike at any moment. “I’ve been here in this position… more times than I can count. I’ve died here more times than I can count. If you…” I licked my lips. Swallowed. Continued. “If you deem me unworthy to continue… if you think that what you judged in the last timeline was correct and you want to continue that vein of punishment…” I shuddered, but finished, “I’ll understand.”

“exp.” Sans’s voice rang in my mind, solemn but unrelenting as the bell that had tolled only a moment before. “an acronym for execution points. when you have enough exp, your LOVE increases. LOVE, too, is an acryonym. it stands for Levels of Violence.”

I didn’t know where this was going. Didn’t understand the expression on his face as he moved from the shadows into the light to look at me.

“heh, maybe you made some mistakes in the last run,” he said. “maybe even some pretty big ones. but from where i’m standing, you’re completely clean. you never gained any LOVE. sure, you’ve done some things you shouldn’t have…  but from what i’ve seen, you’ve done everything in your power to undo those mistakes and set things right again. and isn’t that the point of mistakes? so you can learn from them?”

This felt wrong. Being freely given mercy, here? In this place? This hallway of uncountable deaths? I couldn’t accept it. It just wasn’t right.

“hmm… by your expression i see that you feel like this judgement is unfair?” guessed Sans. “well… let me put it this way. you were already judged for the last timeline. that, uh, other sans did a pretty brutal job of it, too. so now it’s my turn to judge for this timeline, and based off of what i’ve seen… you’re innocent. not completely innocent, but like i’ve said before, you’re judging yourself WAY more harshly than i am. and hey,” he added with a chuckle in his tone, “that’s ok by me. less work that way. so,” he winked one eye, “now you’re going to meet the king. together… you’ll determine the future of this world. no matter what, if you do what’s in your heart… i believe you can do the right thing.”

He never looked so much like Papyrus as he did right then. Even with his hands in his pockets in that faded blue hoodie of his, slippers planted on the floor, he had the same bearing. I felt a crushing feeling of loss and confusion. I didn’t deserve this. Not from him. Then why?

I was used to the Sans in the Judgement Hall when Megalovania was blasting. I was used to a cold standoffish dislike. The Sans who said in JT Music’s ‘Down to the Bone’ “The deeper you go the messier it gets/ if I had it my way you’d already be dead”, not this encouragement to the deep swell of sound in the background. This couldn’t be right. He couldn’t be telling the truth.

Sans nodded as if he could read my mind. “we’re all counting on you, kid.” He winked. “good luck.”

I shook my head. Looked down. When I looked back up, he was gone. Claimed by thin air. Vanished.

Still wrestling internally, I began walking forward. I felt almost as if an attack would spring up from the ground to stop me from getting toward the door, but nothing did. I reached the threshold unscathed.

I was beyond. From here on out it was untrodden ground. The dark gray hallway that stretched to the throne room was filled with shadows, but there was a light shining from the proper room. Hardly thinking, I peeked around the corner and beheld Asgore for the first time.

The first I saw of him was his back. The broadest back I had ever seen, robed in purple that brilliantly complemented the golden flowers surrounding him. Even though his head was bent I could see the tips of his ram-like horns and the sheen of his blond mane.

There was sunlight in this room. I was drawn forward into it like a piece of driftwood being pulled by the tide. I had never been too big a fan of sunlight. I liked to stay indoors and I preferred rainy days to sunny ones. But this was real, unfiltered sunlight when I had spent so many days underground. It was bright and golden, but not strained like it was through the stained glass in the Judgement Hall. The air smelled fresh and pleasant. Birds were chirping and I heard the slosh of water from a watering can as Asgore stooped again, humming gently under his breath. He was humming Bergentrucking. I moved right to the very perimeter where the grass met the flowers. Right behind the king.

“Excuse me,” I called. Under normal circumstances I would feel bad for interrupting this beautiful solitude, but then again these weren’t normal circumstances.

Asgore shifted. “Oh? Is someone there?” he asked. His voice was deep, like James Earl Jones was projecting his glorious tones into this beast. The same voice I had heard each time I died, I realized with a start. His words also came slowly, as if each had a thought behind them. “Just a moment! I have almost finished watering these flowers.”

The splashing stopped and he tucked the watering can away. Shifting his cloak, he turned. “Howdy! How can I…”

Just like Undyne’s response when I stood at her front door, Asgore stopped short when he realized who he was talking to. His face, so much like Toriel’s, showed utter shock as if a day he had never hoped to arrive had finally knocked on his door. He stumbled back a step.

“Oh.” A chime of music sounded when he said that. A few notes played on the higher end of an organ. I nodded, suddenly feeling unwanted. Embarrassed that I had to arrive.

He looked away. Neither one of us knew what exactly to do. Here he was, the king of the underground, meant to stand in my path. Here I was, child of the outside world. Each needed to take the other’s soul. Neither truly wanted to.

“I so badly want to say ‘would you like a cup of tea?’” King Asgore murmured with a sheepish grin that melted into remorse. “But… you know how it is.”

“I do,” I answered, fighting back a suggestion to have a cup of tea beforehand. We needed to get this done. Stalling wouldn’t make this any better.

Asgore strolled a couple steps to the side, the hem of his cloak brushing the drops off the newly watered flowers. His large, bare feet with their sharp talons made almost no noise as he pressed them between the flowers, not crushing a single one but moving them gently aside so he stood on the mossy ground beneath them.

“Nice day today, huh?” Asgore asked. “Birds are singing, flowers are blooming…”

HUH???!!??

Every nerve instantly went on high alert. He didn’t say that! He DEFINITELY didn’t say that the first time I played the game! That wasn’t a thing that happened!!!

“Perfect weather for a game of catch.”

Whoof. I let out a breath of air, my senses still tingling from what I had expected him to end with. He had honestly scared me. Which was strange, because he had the same appearance as a giant teddy bear. Or as close as a goat monster could get to looking like a teddy bear.

When Asgore turned back to me again after another moment of silence, his expression was downcast. He had been trying to fish for another solution, but had come up dry. “You know what we must do.”

“Do we, though?” I questioned.

Asgore gave a sad smile at my remark. “I’m afraid we must. When you are ready, come into the next room.”

My insides sank. Now that I had seen him, I really didn’t want to do this to him. More than ever I wanted to hightail it back to Snowdin again. I wished it was the Pacifist Ending already, not this Neutral Ending junk!

I would have to see him die. I would have to watch—

I stepped forward before I could lose my nerve, Saving at the Save Point that had popped up next to the covered throne. Toriel’s throne. Asgore’s wife. Ex-wife. Ex-queen.

“How tense…” Asgore remarked as I joined him. He was trying for a smile, trying to disarm the tension surrounding us. “Just think of it like… a visit to the dentist.”

I let a huff of a laugh pass through my nose. “Alright.”

Asgore smiled at me, his eyes running over my face as if he looked on a beautiful rose that would wither in the night. I had never had anyone look at me so tenderly, or had their face betray such a solemn grief as they turned away. His steps as he walked away down the darkened hallway, which seemed so much darker after the brightened throne room, were steadfast. Filled with Determination. Like mine.

I was so small next to him. For a moment I felt as if I was back with Toriel, walking down into her basement, but instead of cold stillness between us there was warm regret. I almost wanted to touch his arm. To tell him that everything would be alright. But I couldn’t promise that. He might appreciate my words, but I didn’t want to make things harder than they already were.

“Are you ready?” he asked, standing before the carved doorway that was more than large enough to sustain his ample size. “If you are not, I understand. I am not ready either.”

I could see a flash of pain steal over his face as he crossed the threshold. I Saved again at the final Save Point. It was cold here after the sunlight and the flowers, but the Determination boost helped a little. I checked through my Dimensional Boxes that were hooked up to my phone, taking out a couple Hot Dogs and the Butterscotch Pie. As an afterthought I brought out the Snowman Piece as well, reminding myself with a disgusted shudder that it wasn’t for eating. Just to bring to the outside, like the snowman wanted.

Would I see the outside once this was over? Where would the phone call from Sans take place? I didn’t know, and for the moment I didn’t even want to ask. I followed Asgore.

The barrier was a shimmering surface, warped in flashes of white and gray. I grew dizzy just looking at the thing. It was as if someone had cast a spell on a hallway, making it stretch on forever, and then pulled a Roadrunner and turned it 2D. Impassible in all the dimensions.

“This is the barrier.” Asgore looked surreal standing in front of the impossible surface. His words were bled dry of life and sucked into the void before us, even as they were thrown back again like they had hit a flat surface. “This is what keeps us all trapped underground.”

He stood for a moment, gazing into the blank depths before continuing, “If… if by chance you have any unfinished business… please do what you must.”

I shook my head even though he could not see. “I have no such business.” My voice was shrill compared to his. It barely cleared the noise made by the barrier.

“I see.” Asgore’s voice was a mere rumble. “This is it, then.” He turned to face me and although his face was still sorrowful it was set. “Ready?” he asked, just like Sans always did before his fight.

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “I’m ready.”

Panels on the seamless floor opened up and seven capsules arose on either side of the king, four on one side, three on the other. They were filled with the multicolored souls of the other humans. The one closest to his right was empty. Waiting.

With this vague threat – ahem: preparation – commenced, Asgore brought me into an Encounter. Even the barrier’s rolling warp became flat and motionless in this realm and everything was bleached black and white. Burgentrucking began to play.

Even as I prepared for my final stand, even as Asgore stood before me with a serene look on his face, my heart pounded in my chest. It was as if every Save Point culminated there and all the circumstances I had gone through in all the runs, every speck of experience, had been preparing me for this moment. I was ready. I was more than ready. I was filled to overflowing with DETERMINATION.

“Human…” Asgore said when the march of his music had ended. “It was nice to meet you. Goodbye.”

He bowed his head. With the sound like lightning tearing open the sky a blood red trident whipped out from underneath his robes. He pointed it toward the ground and when the tines touched the earth I felt a tingle envelop my hand. That hand, which held my weapon – the frying pan. A red magic throbbed there now, seizing them together. I couldn’t drop my weapon.

Mercy button effectively smashed. Nothing for it now.

Dark and sinister man, have at thee.

The barrier began to shine, the light of Asgore’s trident staining it with a purple glaze, sparks shooting around us with red flecks. The king couldn’t bear to look at my face. He bent so that his hair – now black in the light of the Encounter – covered his eyes. His cloak was pulled back so I could see the armor underneath, the Delta Rune crest proudly emblazoned on his breastplate.

My mind had, for a moment, gone blank. I couldn’t throw away my weapon. I didn’t want to swing just yet. The handy-dandy list of options came swimming into view and I regained my wits. “I don’t want to fight you!” I called to him over the triumphant blaze of music that was pounding between us.

Asgore’s hands shook the smallest bit, but he clutched the trident haft even tighter. Around me, fireballs began to shine. I knew this attack. It was one Toriel had struck me with back at the beginning, but now it came far more savagely with a quickness that surprised me. I hissed as one fireball landed its mark and my HP depleted by a significant margin.

Ouch. And I had thought Mettaton hit hard.

“Please, my lord!” I called. “Can’t we think of another option? This can’t be the way it has to end!”

I heard him take a shaky breath, but his next attack came just as suddenly. Another familiar one. I dodged it a little more easily.

“Asgore, please! Stop this insanity!”

He looked at me for the first time since we began. In his eyes I could see a memory strike true and he faltered. Statistics flashed to the side as if I had Checked him. Attack down. Defense down.

Well, I guessed he wouldn’t be hitting as hard from now on.

But now came the tricky part. After dodging an absolute flurry of fireballs, I gripped my pan and gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to swing. I didn’t want to have to swing. But I had to. I couldn’t not swing. There was no other option.

I swung.

A glancing blow. It only shaved off a few HP, and he had a massive amount. I still felt horrible, remembering the gritty feel of dust on my hands and the euphoric leap in my chest as my LV climbed higher. I shook the feeling off, continuing the battle.

Even though his defense was lowered, his attacks became more complicated as we drew further on. Sometimes he swung his trident at me, his eyes flashing different colors as he prepared magic attacks of light blue and orange to knock me off my game. I still wasn’t very good at staying still through blue attacks and I was frequently buffeted by these unprecedented onslaughts.

My supplies grew low and I devoured the slice of pie Toriel had given me, the only thought in my head was that I wouldn’t be using it at any other time, so why not now? Asgore looked up again, looking stunned. It was only then that I realized that he probably recognized that pie and where it had come from. His defense and attack dropped a little lower, for which I was grateful.

It became easier to swing each time, the HP being taken from Asgore more like a game than anything else now. I just swung and the numbers went down. He might shake, true, but the clang of the metal pan hitting his armor became more satisfying with every time I hit, like hitting a giant bell. If I timed it right with the beat, it became part of the music! I still didn’t want to kill him, though. Definitely not. I just wanted to see how high the numbers could get.

And then Asgore was feeling weak. I could see it in his posture, in the way his HP was so depleted. My next swing was very careful and calculated. His HP bar bled out like sand from an hourglass and he sank to one knee, hand propping himself on the ground as he gasped for breath. The music stopped. All that could be heard was our combined breathing and the buzzing in my head as I inspected him, willing him not to dust.

First try, though! It had taken me so many tries on the other side of the screen, but now… first try! I felt rather proud of that. Or I would have, if I hadn’t been so concerned.

“Ah…” Asgore murmured. “So that is how it is.”

“I’m…” I shook my head back and forth. I wanted to say I was sorry, but this was how it had to be. I shouldn’t lie. So I just kept shaking, biting my lower lip.

“I remember the day after my son died,” Asgore said after a pause, and gentle music – the same as when Sans had given his judgement – filled the Encounter. “The entire underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans.”

I gave an understanding nod, but I’m sure he didn’t see. His eyes were lowered and he was bowed as if he was Atlas carrying the world.

“In a fit of anger, I declared war.” There was nothing angry about his stance right now. “I said that I would destroy any human that came here. I would use their souls to become godlike… and free us from this terrible prison. Then I would destroy humanity… and let monsters rule the surface in peace. Soon the people’s hopes returned. My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again.”

I thought of the Butterscotch Cinnamon pie I had just consumed and licked the taste of it off my lips. I bit back the words telling him that she was alright. I didn’t want to give him false hope for a joyful return.

“Truthfully…” the fallen king continued, “I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to have hope…”

He looked so broken as he said this. On the verge of collapse.

“But… I cannot take this any longer. I just want to see my wife.” His voice broke on that word. “I just want to see my child. Please… young one… this war has gone on long enough. You have the power… take my soul and leave this cursed place.”

It was my turn. The magic surrounding my hand seemed weaker now, the red light binding my hand to my weapon fractured somewhat. I came forward and knelt before the king so I was just beneath his chin level. Making sure he was looking, I touched the Burnt Pan to the ground. The magic around my hand faded completely and my grip loosened. I thrust the pan away.

Asgore looked at the place where it had touched the ground, at my hand now empty.

“I never wanted to fight you,” I whispered in the stillness. My heart was beginning to ache. I tried not to think of what was coming. Don’t think about it. Just don’t think about it. Lock your eyes on his face. Just keep looking.

“After everything I have done to hurt you…” Asgore looked up wonderingly, “you would rather stay down here and suffer than live happily on the surface?”

“What’s so great about the surface anyway?” I said lightly, standing back up.

Asgore looked into my face with a smile, hope blossoming on his features like the sunrise. “Human…” he said as music – the same music that played from the statue down in Waterfall – began to gently chime. “I promise you… for as long as you remain here my wife and I will take care of you as best as we can.”

I tried to smile. Tried to convince myself that the inevitable wouldn’t happen.

“We can sit in the living room, telling stories… eating butterscotch pie…”

The smile was now affixed to my face like Sans’s was to his. I wouldn’t let it go.

“We could be like… like a family…”

He was smiling so genuinely at me. I nodded at him, hoarsely repeating the words I had so naively said in my playthrough when I had thought that this was the end. “I’d like that.”

Yeah. I’d like that a lot.

I had wanted that ending. I had been satisfied with the thought of how that’s what the ending would be. Staying with the monsters beneath the surface, being raised by Asgore and Toriel. I had thought that I had screwed up the Pacifist Ending since I had taken out the dummy at the very beginning, so having a neutral ending as satisfactory as this was alright by me. I had pictured it so clearly in my mind. The two of them as my parents. Sans and Papyrus like brothers. Undyne and Alphys and Mettaton good friends of mine who I would visit and maybe spar with on off days. It could be considered, in my eyes, a good ending.

And then, just like in the game and just like I knew it would happen, everything went wrong.

Friendliness Pellets surrounded the king. He knew what they were, because I saw the horror dawn on his face, but he made no move. The little white attacks darted inwards and the rest of his HP vanished in a flash and a crunch of noise.

A shout ripped out of my throat and I flung myself forward, but the walls of the Encounter were still up. I pressed my hands against them, but he was just out of range. Our eyes connected as we, face to face, stared at each other in twisted sadness as he realized that the dream he had just suggested to me was just that. A dream and nothing more.

He dusted, the look of utter shock and remorse his final expression. I shrieked again, this time in anger, and pounded my hand against the invisible wall, standing up and backing away to avoid the thin wave of dust that came toward me from where he had once been. All that remained was a shaking white soul, shaped like an upside-down heart.

I had seen Toriel’s soul in the last run. It looked just like this. Feeble and naked and vulnerable to the world. I tried to snatch it now, but the Encounter still blocked me. A single pellet which had been hovering overhead for just this occasion, fell downward. With a resounding ping that only sounded in my dying moments, the soul split in half. Then it shattered, the broken pieces scattering, growing dimmer and fainter until they were finally gone.

Flowey popped up in Asgore’s place.

“You,” I growled, my words thick and tight in my chest. My hands clenched and I prepared to pound them against my invisible containment yet again.

“What were you expecting, you IDIOT?” Flowey demanded with a pleasant smile. “It’s not like you haven’t done worse yourself.”

I seethed. When I had first played and this had happened, I got angrier than I ever had in my life. I had prepared an entire speech earlier on in the game in case Flowey ever hurt Papyrus. It had been far longer and much better in my musings (as things often are), but when Asgore had been murdered in front of my eyes, I decided there was no better time to use it. I whipped out a segment of the original threat in a vengeful shriek, letting out all the gamer rage I had never portrayed until that moment. In retrospect it was a silly speech. I had meant it as that originally. But here in this circumstance I meant it to bite. I wanted to do all those things to him, from ripping him from the ground to making sure his itty bitty pieces were fed to a shark and everything in the convoluted mess in between.

“You haven’t learned a thing,” mocked the flower. The containers holding the human souls shattered one by one and Flowey’s face melted, contorting into a horrible grimace as he stated, “In this world… it’s KILL or BE KILLED.”

His laugh was the last thing I heard as I blacked out. The last thing I felt was rage.

Chapter Text

Chapter 35

I awoke in a land of total blackness. Actually, I couldn’t be sure I was really asleep to begin with, because I awoke on my feet. That was the only way I knew which way was down. Otherwise it seemed as if I was trapped in a barren sea of blackness. Nothing in sight.

With nothing better to do, trusting in the memory from my playthrough, I started marching forward. I would have been afraid if not for my all-consuming fury. I clung to it, knowing that if for a moment I stopped being angry other emotions would take its place. Right now, anger filled me with Determination.

A point of light began to grow in the distance. I jogged toward it, enjoying the sting of my heels slapping against what stood for ground. Soon enough I stood by a Save Point which glittered temptingly. With a sense of relief I washed my hands in its light and attempted to Save.

I couldn’t. For some reason I just… couldn’t. There was some sort of blockage in there. Someone else was trying to Save instead and as hard as I tried I couldn’t get past them.

The Save Point shook under enormous strain from the mysterious Saver and I stumbled backwards as it imploded on itself, feeling all my previous Saves from the past being ripped from reality.

Gone.

Just as suddenly, the Save Point stopped imploding and exploded outwards, Flowey’s face appearing in a much larger image above where it had been a moment before. “Howdy!” he greeted just as cheerfully as if he wasn’t just a giant floating face in a void of nothingness. “It’s me, Flowey. Flowey the Flower! I owe you a huge thanks. You really did a number on that old fool.”

I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands. I was so angry I felt like I wanted to scream. Cry. Throw a punch. Anything to alleviate the harsh pressure burning from the inside. Even though I listened to the rest of his speech about how everyone would learn the new nature of this world blah blah blah I was doing what practically every Star Wars movie told me NOT to do: held onto my anger and used it as a power source.

“I’ll Save over your own death,” Flowey mocked, his face contorting and giant teeth growing in his swiftly opening mouth. “So you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces… over and over and over…”

His face distended even more as he spoke. Normally I would find this really scary, and sure it was shocking and everything, but he had been making scary faces at me for a little over a minute now and they had kind of lost their spark. I stepped forward without a word.

Flowey looked genuinely surprised. “…what? Do you really think you can stop ME?” His face relapsed into its normal proportions and he chuckled. “You really ARE an Idiot.”

The ground dropped out from under me, but instead of falling, I was floating, my soul keeping me aloft as if I was in an Encounter. For a split second there was nothing around me, which was absolutely terrifying. And then the seven human souls flickered into being above me. I could see them, little orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and cyan lights the only thing in the blackness. They spread out, then disappeared.

Then the darkness began to glow. In the flashes of red illumination I could see a shadow moving closer. If I tried to move away, which I probably did, it made no difference. The shadow moved faster. A strong bass line rippled through the air, informing me that I was in for a boss fight. Above me a screen began to glow, a smiley face dark on its screen. Then its mouth opened and the smile became less cute. Then its eyes opened vertically displaying green and red and it became MUCH less cute.

Then everything brightened and the shadow was thrown into view. Honestly, it looked a lot like the game’s version of Omega Flowey, which was cut-and-paste photoshopped pictures making a horrific amalgamation of awfulness. It looked both 2D and 3D, much like the barrier, and VERY MUCH out of this world. The giant pincers in the front which looked like a mouth with human teeth on the inside were pointed straight at me. Tubes ran along the side to attach right underneath the eyeballs, of which there were FAR too many for my liking. The screen, which took precedence in the middle, was surrounded by those weird tubes, which looped to look something like petals. On either side of his center section a rope of thorns thrust outward, continuously growing, although I couldn’t see where to. Jutting down from that growing vine were two organic-looking arms with sharp pink talons on the end, the same color as the human mouth. They formed an effective barrier around me, far too close for comfort.

All in all, it was horrifying. I would have been terrified if it had been a tenth of its size, but here and now and as colossal as it was… I wanted to be anywhere else than here.

To make matters worse it began to laugh. Its bellow of laughter was so loud and chaotic that I covered my ears. I have sensitive ears and there was nothing more disorienting than loud noises plus a terrifying figure.

If I had thought that this was the worst of it, I was very much wrong, because then the Fight began. I have never gone through something as disorienting as that in my life. Attacks flurried at me thick and fast. Brash, discordant music thundered wildly in my tender ears. I didn’t want to get too close to those grasping arms, so I tried to retreat. There seemed to be no box around me like in a normal Encounter, so I tried to use that to my advantage. Omega Flowey kept up. There was no escape that way.

All the normal rules of combat went out the window. Every so often I could strike at him, but there was no meter above his head to show how hard I was hitting. Every swing I took only took off an infinitesimal point of HP out of the huge block that was his health. I had no normal HP either. There was no number to how many strikes I could take. I only felt myself grow weaker and weaker until at last my soul couldn’t take any more of the strain and shattered. But even then there was no rest. Flowey’s voice, mocking and coy, repeated the words I had heard every time I died. Asgore’s words. And then Flowey’s voice gained in volume and he laughed and laughed until everything faded into black.

In those moments I felt more dead than I ever had before, if that makes any sense. There was truly nothing around me, as if I never existed. But each time I would pull myself up from the brink and face Flowey yet again. And die yet again.

The first time I had played this battle, even though I was stunned beyond belief, I hadn’t died. By some weird skew of luck I had survived the entire fight without dying once. I had believed that maybe it wasn’t even possible to die, that maybe you were presented this huge, intimidating boss as a shock factor, but it couldn’t actually do much to you. Wrong. I was very, very wrong, as was demonstrated by this fight as I died just as Flowey had said: over and over and over.

It took way too long, but finally some of the shock factor wore off. It was just another Fight. Dodge and don’t get hit. Keep an eye out. Let everything else fade to the background.

When enough time had passed, the attacks finally stopped flurrying. The first soul flashed on the screen before me – the pale blue one. Omega Flowey’s body disappeared in a swirl of darkness and only the screen, now looking more like a glass cage than a tv screen, was visible with the cyan soul in its center. I could feel its power flowing out into my area and suddenly I was surrounded by pinwheeling white attacks, shaped like knives, each one spinning in rhythm to the suddenly chirping music. After a moment’s hesitation, I caught their rhythm and after that it was easy.

There was a spot not too far away from the cyan soul’s location, empty, where I could take an Action. Standing between the whirling white blades I saw an Action suggestion burst into being: call for help.

“Help me!” I screamed up at the soul. For a second it seemed as if nothing would happen, but then all the blades around me began to shiver. I could feel the soul’s intentions shifting. When they were fighting, they were being controlled by Flowey. Now they were changing that control.

All of a sudden, the blades all exploded into green attacks shaped like bandages. They hovered near me and I tried to pick them all up as quickly as possible, absorbing their healing nature into my soul. I felt better. SO much better.

And then Omega Flowey reappeared and all those good feelings were gone again.

Dodging attacks, Fighting when I could, I made progress. There was no time to think, no time to Act. I moved on pure impulse alone.

The next soul – the orange one – flashed on screen and Omega Flowey disappeared again. Now the attacks manifested as white gloves, like the Tuff Gloves I had worn in Snowdin, dancing in groups of seven, fingers pointing outwards. They reached outward, then pressed back inward, creating a circle in the middle which opened wide, then constricted. Opened, then constricted. I dodged into this opening, trying hard not to be touched by the lifeless fingers of the gloves.

There. An opening. I wheeled around on the orange soul. “Please! Help me!” I begged.

The attacks slowed. Then the gloves turned green. I zipped around, trying to touch as many as I could before they were gone. They were gone too quickly.

Omega Flowey’s attacks were getting harder. His photoshopped attacks bore straight at me, and if that wasn’t enough he would use Save files to warp me back into positions I had just escaped from. I kept glancing up at the screen every so often, hoping desperately that I could catch a glimpse of the next soul appearing. But only frightening images showed up there for a long while.

I died again and came back to the sound of raucous laughter. After a harsh fight, the next soul appeared: the blue soul.

I was trapped under a sea of star-shaped white attacks. More attacks, shaped like ballet slippers, dipped down to meet me from behind the starry barrier, like giants were dancing around me. I dodged around them, waiting for the opportunity to Act.

“Help me, please!” I cried up at the blue soul.

The attacks slowed and the slippers raised. The stars around me turned to green music notes and I collected them all, gathering them into myself and shivering at their touch.

Flowey kept fighting. Although I wanted to believe my strikes were having some impact, they seemed to be doing no better. I died once more before the purple soul made an appearance.

I was surrounded by a wall of white attacks shaped like notebooks. Every so often a word would fly out of the white pages. Words like ‘trapped’ and ‘hopeless’. ‘Despair’ and ‘murderer’. ‘Hatred’, ‘ruin’, and ‘sadness’, came flying at me with the force of a man spitting angry words in his grief.

But there. There was a gap. With a little more penitence than I had given the other souls, since this act of venting through written words was more relatable to me than the other attacks had been, I begged for his assistance. There was barely a pause before the words shuddered and changed. The soul apparently recognized that we held some similarities. The words changed to ones like ‘life’ and ‘kindness’. ‘Protect’ and ‘mercy’. I brought them all close to my heart before Omega Flowey came back.

Those words must have sustained me a little more than the others because I didn’t die before the next soul was up. The green soul.

Above my head a row of cooking pans shook back and forth as if an invisible cook was stirring its contents. They began to spatter with white attacks, shaped like miniature flames. I was now an expert at dodging fireballs, at this point, so I had no trouble. I called for help when I had the chance and after a brief falter the flames all changed their shape. Delicious green donuts. I gathered them all, and it almost seemed as if I could taste the sweetness of the pastry.

The last soul made an appearance after a harsh scuffle. The yellow soul. Its main attack was a gun in the center, shooting bullets willy-nilly. A red target appeared in the direction he was going to shoot, which made everything a lot easier to dodge. However, it was also difficult to catch the green flower attacks that were shot after I called for help. I barely caught two.

Then something amazing happened. All six souls made an appearance. Fleeing from the screen as if they truly did have life of their own, they surrounded me, dancing in a circle. In that moment I could feel each of their personalities, who they had been, now long dead. Their hopes, their wishes, their deepest desires manifested as they showered me with green magic. Even though they had no physical

appearance, I felt as if I saw them face-to-face. Who they truly were, as if we were connected. I, who had been alone in each battle, now was no longer alone. I had them with me.

Flowey drew them back to himself, but I could feel their little sparks of energy inside his massive figure. They were holding him back! Relentlessly I began to slash at him and his HP diminished in large spurts. I gritted my teeth, dodging with all my might and catching the green attacks thrown to me by the souls. Everything was so chaotic, but I could see my route. I could see his HP going down, chunk after chunk at a time.

Finally his HP was completely gone. He was wracked from the inside with loss, shuddering as echoing blows smote him. “No… NO!!!” he screamed as a rattle echoed from his form. “This CAN’T be happening!!! You… YOU…”

And then everything was silent. His HP was back to normal and the smuggest look I had ever seen sat on his innermost screen. “You IDIOT,” he stated through the ringing silence.

Then a blast of energy ripped through his open mouth. I could feel my skin shrivel and bake with the ensuing heat. My soul cracked, but a second later, too suddenly to move, Flowey reloaded a different Save File. I was shot through with vines, too many to count. They stabbed through me with the heat of a dozen swords. I couldn’t even scream.

File after file was Loaded, each death as excruciating as the last. There was no escape from this torture. It wouldn’t end! I couldn’t make it end!

And then I was whole, standing in a shivering mess in front of the godlike being. Leisurely, a circle of seeds formed around me. It was like I was back to the beginning again, but there was no Toriel to save me.

Flowey knew it, too. His mocking laughter and harsh words reminded me that I was completely alone. There was no one in this world who would save me now. “Call for help. I dare you,” he spat. “Cry into the darkness! ‘Mommy! Daddy! Somebody help!’ See what good it does you!”

Normally I would’ve clamped my jaws shut at this demand. Made not a peep. But this was what I needed to do. So I opened my mouth and bellowed at the top of my lungs: “Somebody, help me!!!”

There was silence. Flowey’s mouth on the screen stretched into a pleased grimace. “But nobody came,” he murmured. “Boy! What a shame! Nobody else…” and his face flickered back to the red-eyed monstrosity, “…is going to get to see you DIE!!!”

I had only a flicker of health. If even one seed touched me, I was done for. They circle around me expanded, but then it began to contract. Omega Flowey began to laugh maniacally above me.

It would be okay, I tried to remind myself, but the slew of painful deaths I had just experienced had shaken my confidence somewhat. It would be okay it would be okay it would be okay…

The seeds all disappeared, just inches away from touching me. My HP was back to full.

“What?” Flowey’s monstrous face was frozen in a disbelieving mask. “How’d you…?”

I had called for help. That was how. I wanted to say it out loud, shove it in his face, but I didn’t say a word.

“Well, I’ll just…”

I could feel the flicker of time being rewritten around me, but it just wouldn’t stick. It was like in my genocide when I tried to Reset but it didn’t work.

“Wh…” Flowey started to sweat. “Where are my powers!?”

Like seeds coming off a dandelion, the souls separated from his bulk, drifting gently. “What are they doing?” demanded Flowey.

Then, like vengeful warriors pouncing on their prey, the souls attacked. The faint flickers of their minds became wrathful flames as they turned to one motive: destroying the one that held them captive.

Flowey shrieked in denial of their actions, refusing to believe that they, who gave him his powers, could be the source of his downfall. I could feel all the power he had once held be turned against himself, the six separate souls merging their intent into a deadly weapon. All was motion and noise and light and motion until… at last…

The nothingness surrounding me had given up, retaining its original state. I was in an Encounter and the barrier was before me. Directly in front of me was a wilted husk that had once been a flower. Only the slightest motion betrayed that Flowey was still living.

I held the Burnt Pan in my hand. In one swift movement I cast it away, enjoying the savage pleasure of hearing it rattle out of bounds.

“What are you doing?” Flowey gasped, his voice a mere rattle. “Do you really think I’ve learned anything from this? No.”

It was nice to rebel against him. It caused me more pleasure than any strike of the hand could have done.

“Sparing me won’t change anything,” Flowey whispered. “Killing me is the only way to end this.”

“I’m not going to,” I said, staring at him like my eyes could set him alight.

“If you let me live…” Flowey said, uncurling, his eyes little beads of white light like friendliness pellets in the dark Encounter, “I’ll come back.”

I nodded, but cast the pan away.

He was completely unfurled now, straightened so I could see the twisted mess that was his face. “I’ll kill you,” he hissed.

I clenched my jaw. Tossed the pan away.

“I’ll kill everyone.”

Tossed the pan away.

“I’ll kill everyone you love.”

I twitched. Tossed the pan away.

Flowey’s deranged smile faltered.

I tossed the pan away.

Flowey looked questioning. Confused.

I tossed the pan away.

“…why?” Flowey demanded.

I smiled the smallest bit. A bitter smile. Tossed the pan away.

“…why are you being… so nice to me?”

Tossed the pan away.

“I can’t understand,” whispered the flower. When I tossed the pan away once more he screamed it, expression broken. “I can’t understand!”

For the first time in a long while I felt something that wasn’t anger or fear. His desperate scream of ‘I can’t understand’ held the same ring as the sting of injustice I had felt when Sans declared me not guilty in the Judgement Hall. Both of us deserved worse. Both of us were being given mercy we didn’t deserve.

This time when I threw the pan away it wasn’t out of cruelty. I felt a pinch of the pity that had stayed Bilbo’s hand when he spared Gollum. The pity that had kept Frodo from killing him, because he saw the similarities between them, the two bearers of the Ring.

Flowey’s face crumpled completely and he whispered, “I just can’t understand…”

He turned away and began to glide through the earth like a snake through water. In a second his head was submerged beneath the solid ground and he was gone. I was alone once more.

A doorway was before me. The exit to the Underground. Whether I was through the barrier or whether it still lay before me I didn’t know. All I knew was that I had to keep going. The end was nigh.

I stepped through the doorway.

Undertale

By Toby Fox

The words paraded before me. All was darkness except for them. The credits naming each person from the game flashed by, each with an ambient boom. Then there was nothing else. Nothing.

Only darkness.

Only me.

My phone rang. I had no idea how long I had been standing there in the nothingness beyond the game. At least my body was still intact. Was I alive? Was I dead? I had no way of knowing. But with the sound of the ringing phone my mind sparked again.

I held my phone up to my ear. “Hello?”

“heya.” Sans’s voice sounded, tinny but distinct. “is anyone there…?”

“I’m here! Sans, I’m here!”

He couldn’t hear me. There must have been some interference or something, because he continued, “well, just called to say… you made a snowman really happy.”

Oh yeah. The Snowman Piece in my pocket. So this was where he wanted to be. Prime vacation spot here, buddy. Glad you like the abyss.

Music, slow and somber began to strike up around me as Sans began to talk. I sat down on what seemed like the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest as I listened to his voice.

“so… it’s been a while. the queen returned, and is now ruling over the underground. she’s enstated a new policy… all the humans who fall down here will be treated not as enemies… but as friends. it’s probably for the best, anyway. the human souls the king gathered seem to have disappeared. so, uh, that plan ain’t happening any time soon.”

I closed my eyes. This was all too raw.

“but even though people are heartbroken over the king and things are looking grim for our freedom… the queen’s trying her best not to let us give up hope. so, uh, hey…” His voice took on a cheering tone. “if we’re not giving up down here… don’t give up wherever you are, ok?”

My throat clenched. Normally I wouldn’t cry, but hey. I was alone. I let the tears fall. Not for any particular reason. Just a release of emotion.

“who knows how long it will take… but we will get out of here.”

“SANS!!! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO???”

“Pap’rus,” I laughed through my tears.

“oh, nobody,” Sans responded. Even though he couldn’t see, I rolled my eyes.

“WHAT!? NOBODY!? CAN I TALK TO THEM TOO???”

I heard the phone being shifted. “here, knock yourself out.”

I moved the phone quickly away from my ear as Papyrus’s voice blasted into it. “               WAIT A SECOND… I RECOGNIZE THIS NUMBER!!! ATTENTION, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM NOW CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! IT’S EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DREAMED OF. EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, WE JUST WATER FLOWERS. SO THAT’S EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. AND WE’RE HELPING DR. ALPHYS WITH HER RESEARCH! SHE’S GONNA FIND A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE. UNDYNE IS HELPING HER TOO! THOUGH, TO BE HONEST, HER METHOD OF HELPING… SEEMS KIND OF… EXPLOSION INDUCING. BUT I THINK ALPHYS LIKES HAVING HER AROUND. UH-OH!!!”

I heard the phone be yanked out of his hand and Undyne barked into the receiver, “Hey! What are you up to, punk!?” and then the bellow of a war cry.

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE PHONE.” I heard Papyrus say off to the side.

“Hey! Who’s in charge here!?”

After a tiny pause, Papyrus insisted, “ME.”

“Oh… yeah, that’s right!” Undyne laughed. “I quit my job as leader of the Royal Guard. Actually, since we won’t be fighting anymore… the Royal Guard totally disbanded. There’s, uh, only one member now.”

“BUT HE’S EXTREMELY GOOD.” Papyrus interjected.

“Yeah!! He is!! C’mere!!”

Papyrus let out a yelp. “PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON.”

I collapsed into tearful giggles, laying flat on my back on whatever dark surface was supporting me. She continued talking, telling me about Alphys’ position, how she was doing, Undyne’s new job at the Queen’s new school, and ending a little more somberly. She told me that she didn’t blame me for what happened with Asgore, that she knew I was just doing what I had to. She didn’t know it wasn’t me. She didn’t know it was Flowey.

But Undyne perked up again pretty quickly again, switching to another subject. “We’re all with you!” she declared. “Everyone is! Even the queen! Heyyy! wait a second!” I heard her shout away from the receiver, “Toriel! Toriel! Do you wanna…?”

I couldn’t take it if I heard Toriel’s voice. I was starting to calm down, but even the thought of Toriel threatened to bring down more tears.

All I heard from the other end was a low drone with no words attached, and then Undyne made a short laugh. “Heh, she says she’s busy.”

“BUT IF SHE KNEW WHO WE WERE TALKING TO…” Papyrus started.

“we wouldn’t get the phone back for at least a few hours,” Sans ended.

“WE HAVE THE MERCY TO SPARE YOU FROM HER!!” Papyrus declared.

“But call back any time, ok?! She’d love to talk!” said Undyne.

The phone rustled as it switched hands again. “oh, whoops,” said Sans. “this thing’s almost outta batteries. so, hate to cut this short, but… be seeing you, ok, buddy?”

I sat upright again, wiping the tears off my cheeks as the two others said their goodbyes and the phone silenced with a beep. I stared at the open screen for a while even after they were gone, even after the screen turned off. I closed it and put it in my lap, but even after that I stayed still looking at it for a long time. I don’t even know how long.

Then Flowey appeared, poking up from the ground. I don’t know if we were in an Encounter, but he appeared in black and white. I tensed. If there was anyone in the world I really didn’t want to see right now, it was him.

“Why, Chara?” he asked, his question becoming more vehement each time. “Why? WHY?”

“Why what?” I snapped, even though I felt a twinge as my mental mom reprimanded me on my attitude.

“We were on our way to REAL victory,” Flowey said with a ghoulish grimace. “On our way to making up for LAST time. Why’d you have to SCREW IT UP?”

I pushed up off the ground. He was talking about the aborted genocide. I was shaking in restrained emotion. “You would’ve been next.” My teeth were gritted as I pointed a finger down at him. “Don’t you get it? I wouldn’t have stopped!”

Flowey laughed, but it had a different ring than any other time I had heard him. It sounded forced. Unhappy. “Is this revenge?” he asked me. “Making me watch you act so pure and happy while I…?”

He trailed off and I jumped into the stillness. “I’m not Chara,” I insisted, brows creased. “I never have been. I’m just… not.”

Flowey looked considering for a moment. “No,” he said at last. “NO. I KNOW what you’re doing.”

Drat, had he listened to me at all?

“You just want to see what it’s all like.” His smile was back. “Before we tear it away from them.” He laughed. “Genius, Chara.”

I made a disgusted grunt, but he continued before I could get any words out.

“Well, I’ll let you mess around. I know you’ll come back eventually. And when that time comes…” His scary face lapsed and he gave a genuine smile. “Chara. I’ll be waiting for you.”

And then he was gone. I kicked at the place where he had disappeared. That had been wayyyy different than what had happened before. Didn’t he remember how I had terrified him? Didn’t he remember how his stem had trembled out of fear as I advanced, covered in the dust of all the other monsters? Why didn’t he understand that I wouldn’t have stopped for him? Why did he still think I was Chara?

I let my anger simmer down before it trailed away into despondency again. What now?

Well, now I struck out for the Pacifist Ending, I guessed. Now I went back and tried something a little different.

I nodded to myself, closing my eyes and attempting to clear my mind. Reload. Not Reset – that would be back too far. Reload.

Time looped backwards and I was standing at the Save Point before the barrier, my mind reeling as my situation caught up with my memories. I ducked into the room before me. There was the barrier, just as overwhelming as usual. And there was Asgore, alive again!

He began talking and I winced. Oops. Didn’t want to have to die to get out of this fight. But I didn’t have to, because in a moment he offered, “If… if by chance you have any unfinished business… please do what you must.”

“Actually,” I said, “I just thought of something. So if you don’t mind waiting for a bit… I PROMISE I’ll come back, but I just need to handle something quickly.”

“I see,” said Asgore, looking a tiny bit relieved. “Please, do what you must.”

“Thank you!” I called, and headed for the exit. I needed to go back to Snowdin. I needed to see Undyne.

Chapter Text

Chapter 36

My phone gave its signature ring as I crossed the bridge from the Core. I had used my time walking through the capital up to this point in hard contemplation. I needed to plot out my course from here on out. As fun as it might sound, I didn’t want Alphys to snag me into a date with her based on the misconception of Undyne’s letter. A cliché misunderstanding must not cause anything to rise, be that feelings, jealousy, or anything else. So I must, if possible, clear up her skewed understanding and get her to come with me to the junkyard. Preferably in that pretty dress she would be wearing if she thought we were going on a date. Then… I guessed I would just let things play its course.

Now my phone was ringing. Now was the time to spring my plan into action.

“Hey…!” Undyne’s voice came through the receiver, sounding more anxious than I had ever heard it before. “Uh, this is Undyne…”

“Hey, Undyne! Wassup?” I greeted, thankful that she wasn’t curious why I was coming back out of the Core after going into it.

“Oh… yanno… stuff…” She leaned away from the phone to hiss, “Shut up, Papyrus! This was YOUR idea!” at her compatriot who was lurking out of speaker range, then shouting with alarming volume straight into my ear, “HUMAN! You have to deliver something for me!”

“Uh…” I considered asking her to use the magic word, but she realized her blunder quickly.

“Uh, please?” she added.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” I said.

“I’m at Snowdin in front of Papyrus’s,” Undyne continued. “See ya, punk!”

And she hung up while I was still saying goodbye. But a bit of a walk and a ferry ride later she was coming into view as I rounded the corner of the house. Undyne and Papyrus were lounging against the doorway, but both straightened as soon as I came into sight. I grinned. It was good to see them again. Even though it hadn’t been too long since we had seen each other, it had felt like a lifetime. Maybe it had been.

“Um, so, I have a favor to ask of you,” Undyne said.

“Sure thing,” I answered, crossing my arms against the Snowdin chill and staring up at her face. I always forgot until Papyrus was standing right next to her just how tall she really was. “What do you want delivered?”

“Uuuuuuh, I…” She whipped out an envelope from behind her back. “I need you to deliver this letter. To Doctor Alphys.”

“Okay,” I shrugged. “But, um… what if I didn’t come out of the Core? Like… why…?”

I was trying to tactfully ask why Undyne was issuing me a fetch quest. She caught on. “Huh!? Why don’t I do it myself…?”

“Well…”

Undyne actually blushed. Both Papyrus and I stared at her in surprise, Papyrus obviously trying to decide whether to begin teasing or not. “…Um. W-well…”

She was squirming, too! Yikes, was she really that nervous about all this?

“I-it’s kind of personal, but we’re friends… so… I’ll t-tell you…”

Whatever she had been about to say instantly vaporized as she peeked over at Papyrus, who was practically GLOWING with pent-up harassment ideas. He looked a lot like Sans right then. Undyne glared at him and whipped back around to me, ending, “Hotland SUUUUCKS!!! I don’t wanna have to go over there!!!”

Papyrus rolled his empty eyesockets, still trying to hide his smile behind his hands. It wasn’t working. It was all I could do to act like I was oblivious.

Undyne glared at Papyrus again and put the envelope in my inventory. “So here you go. Oh, and if you read it…” now her glare was fixed on me, “I’ll KILL you.” But then it was instantly replaced by a beaming smile. “Thanks so much! You’re the best!!”

“Sure thing,” I grinned. I was used to death threats by now. You can try, Undyne. You can sure try.

Not that I was going to actually open her letter. What was I, rude? What kind of a mailman delivers opened mail? Not this one.

I went straight to Hotland. There was no need to stock up on items since I still had what I would have eaten in the erased timeline when I fought Asgore in my inventory. Still thinking through my phrasing, I got off the ferry and marched up to the laboratory doors. They didn’t open on my arrival. I slipped the letter under the door and gave it a good knock to make certain.

Even though there probably should’ve been some better sealing properties over the door in case of a breach or something, I could hear clear footsteps on the other side as Alphys shuffled over. “O-oh n-no,” I heard her mutter to herself, “is that another letter…? I don’t want to open it. C-can’t I just slide it back out…?”

I pinched my mouth, deciding that if she’d try it I’d just push it back.

After a second of indecision Alphys’s voice was heard again. “N… no… I can’t keep doing this. I’ll read this one.”

There was the sound of crinkling paper and some grunting noises. “Um… i-it’s shut k-kind of strongly, isn’t it?”

Who was she asking??? It was as if she KNEW I was out here and didn’t know what was going on outside. Normal people didn’t do play-by-plays.

“Wait a second…”

Was that a CHAINSAW??????? What did Undyne use to seal that letter? People usually just licked them closed, or used tape if they didn’t want to taste the yucky glue stuff. What could you possibly use to seal a letter that securely? Superglue? All the way around? And on the inside too? But then how would you read the letter if it was soaked in glue?

I was reading too much into the skewed videogame logic. That was the truth I came to accept as the lab doors burst open and Alphys, letter open and clenched in her claws, stood before me. “Hey, if this is a joke, it’s…” Then she looked up and her expression changed from denial to surprise. “Oh my god?”

“Okay, I know what you’re thinking,” I said, putting my hands up, “but I’m not the one who wrote the letter. I’m just a messenger.”

“O-oh…?” Alphys looked down at the note one more time. “Then who…?”

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do,” I said, leading her back inside with a hand on her shoulder. “You go get dressed in the prettiest thing you’ve got. Nice dress or nice outfit, I dunno. Be creative! I’ll wait here and when you come back we’ll go for phase two.”

“Ph-phase t-two?” Alphys’s claws tapped anxiously on the floor.

“Like I said, I’ll tell you when you get back. Now go!” I made a shooing motion into the distance. Alphys, no doubt in serious confusion by this point, did what she was told.

I hung out in the doorway until she came back, wearing a black dress with white polka dots. A smile crossed my face as she shyly gave herself up for inspection. “Awwww,” I cooed. “You look so pretty!”

The scales beneath her eyes flushed. “R-really? My friend helped me pick out this dress. She’s got a great sense of…” She cut herself off. “Um, anyway! What’s this phase two you were talking about…?”

“Oh yeah! Phase two.” I gestured out the door, accidentally snapping my fingers as I pointed, which was kind of rude, but it was a habit. “You like the junkyard, right? Let’s go to the junkyard.”

“W-wait, hold on!” Alphys waved, even as she moved to comply. “Is this a date? Is t-that what we’re doing right now?”

I sighed between gritted teeth. “I told you, I’m not the one who wrote the letter. I know this is kinda confusing, but… I’ll tell you about it later, okay?”

Alphys made a whimpering noise in her throat, clutching her hands together, but she followed me to the Riverperson, who took us to Waterfall. It was quiet, even with the Riverperson gently humming in the background.

“Do you… like… anime…? Alphys asked after a very long silence.

“Uh… yeah!” I answered. “I mean, I haven’t seen THAT much, but I’ve liked what I’ve seen!”

“H-hey! Me too!!”

She relapsed into silence, but thankfully we were there before she could begin another awkward attempt at conversation. We disembarked and headed for the junkyard. Alphys knew the way.

“Alrighty,” I said, rolling my shoulders and turning around to face Alphys.

“This is where Undyne and I come all the time…” Alphys said, looking around with a satisfied air. This was her safe space. I could see her relax before my eyes. “We find all sorts of great stuff here.”

“That’s cool,” I said, smiling.

Alphys gave a short laugh. “Heh, she’s really…” And then her calm shattered. “Oh no…” she murmured, her claw coming up to point into the distance. “That’s her over there.”

“Oh,” I said, turning to look as if I didn’t know this was coming.

“I c-can’t let her see me like this!” Alphys all but shrieked.

“But—”

“Why?” Alphys misinterpreted my interrupted interjection of “but you look so pretty!” as a question. “Because, uh… well…” Then her eyes bugged out behind her glasses. “Oh no, here she comes!!” And she dove to hide behind a nearby trashcan.

In a moment, Undyne stood beside me. “Hey!! There you are!!”

“Hi!” I said, trying to look innocent and probably looking too innocent in the process. “You look nice!”

“Thanks!” Undyne brushed off the complement, even though she really did look nice. I don’t know if she stopped by her burning house to scavenge some clothes or something, but she was wearing a different outfit. A leather jacket over her shirt and her hair was done differently. Maybe in preparation for Snowdin’s climate? Dunno.

“I, uh, realized if you deliver that thing… it might be a bad idea.”

“How come?” I asked, crossing my arms and trying my best NOT to stare at the trash can.

“Nevermind that! I’m gonna deliver it myself!!! Give it to me!!!”

“I don’t have it anymore!” I yelped, because she had kind of lunged in my direction and I didn’t appreciate that.

“Huh!? You don’t have it!?”

“That’s what I just—yeah!”

Undyne was starting to look downright manic. “Have you at least seen her!?”

“Yeah! I gave her the letter just like you told me!” One of us needed to calm down soon. Otherwise this might get nasty.

“Yes?” repeated Undyne. “So she’s somewhere around here…”

I hadn’t said that, but before I could point it out, Undyne continued, “Thanks. I’ll keep looking,” and walked away.

Alphys, sweating as if we were still in Hotland, came out from behind the trashcan. “Oh my god…” she whispered.

“Yeah,” I said. “She’s the one who wrote you the letter.”

“W… well, I guess it’s obvious, huh?” Alphys asked, wringing her hands. “I… uh… really like her.”

Alphys went on for a bit about how great Undyne was and how much of a fraud she had been to her. “If she get’s close to me she’ll… she’ll find out the truth about me,” she finished, anxiously patting down her dress. “What should I do?”

“You should tell her the truth,” I answered. “Seriously, catching yourself in a web of lies is NOT the best way to start off a relationship.”

She flushed again when I mentioned ‘relationship’. “But if I tell her that, she’ll hate me,” she protested, and talked right over my reassurances. “Isn’t it better this way? To live a lie where both people are happy… or a truth where neither of us are? They say ‘be yourself’. But I don’t really like who ‘myself’ is. I’d rather just be whatever makes people like me.”

“Would you be happy?” I inquired gently after a few seconds. My erased talk with Papyrus had come to mind, and Alphys’s questions were directed at me as well. I had tried telling the genuine truth. Now I was back to living in secrecy. It… it really wasn’t any more pleasant than having things out in the open. “If you kept it secret… would… would you really both be happy?”

“I… I…” She looked down at the trash beneath our feet. “No, you’re right. Every day I’m scared… scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own.”

Me too, girl. Me too.

“They’ll all get hurt because of me…”

They all DID get hurt because of me.

“But how can I tell UNDYNE the tr… truth?” she exclaimed, raking her head with her claws. “I d-don’t have the confidence. I’m going to mess it up! How can I practice!?”

“Mmm, we could roleplay it,” I suggested.

“R… roleplay?” Alphys repeated. “That actually sounds kind of fun! Ok, which one of us will be Undyne?”

“I’ll be Undyne,” I said, feeling a new kind of awkward as I realized I would have to roleplay somebody I KNEW.

“Oh. Right. Obviously.” She tittered nervously before clearing her throat and buckling down to business. I squared my shoulders and attempted to look as Undyne-like as possible. “H-hi Undyne… H-how are you doing today?”

“I’m doing good!” I tried to make my voice brusque like Undyne’s, leering like she did and only just now remembering that Undyne had a freaking eye missing and where was somewhere I could get an eyepatch for extra immersion points?

“Ha! Ha! Glad to hear it!” Alphys exclaimed, voice high-pitched and cracking. “Uhhh, so I’d like to, um, talk to you about something.”

“Cool! Let’s hear it!” I flashed her a giant smile like Undyne sometimes did. I think I startled her.

“Umm, you see… I… I… I… I haven’t been exactly truthful w-w-with you…” Her stammer became more pronounced as she got more nervous. “Y… you see, I… I…” Then suddenly she snapped, “Oh, forget it!” and began to blurt out, “Undyne!!! I… I want to tell you how I feel!”

Even though Faux-Undyne should have been supportive of her actions, since I was sure the REAL Undyne would have been, I – a mere human with complex issues – could only listen in mounting awkwardness as Alphys began to cry her feelings to the junkyard. Some of it was really sweet, especially near the beginning, but as she pinnacled in a triumphant and screechy climax that made her sound more like a dinosaur than ever, “HOLD ME UNDYNE!!! HOLD ME!!!” I swear I was ready to become one with the junk.

And then Undyne was there, a stunned expression on her face, and I KNEW I was ready to be junk.

“WHAT did you just say?”

Alphys froze. “U… Undyne! I… was… just…”

“Hey, woah, wait a second!” Undyne appraised Alphys’s appearance. “Your outfit’s really cute! What’s the occasion?”

“We…” I started, but then wasn’t sure where to go to from there. Anything I could say either sounded weird or creepy.

“Wait a second. Are you two… on a date?” She had a weird expression on her face.

“No!” I interjected instantly. “No, it’s not…” Again, what could I SAY??? I looked at Alphys with a ‘help me’ expression.

“We were only romantically roleplaying as you!”

Oooookay. Maybe I shouldn’t have been looking for Alphys for help.

“WHAT???” Undyne looked as if we were both crazy. Which, honestly, we might be.

“I MEAN!!!” Alphys ducked her head and her tone became softer. “I mean… Undyne… I… I’ve been lying to you!”

“WHAT??? ABOUT WHAT???”

“About… well… everything!”

Alphys scootched a bit closer to the absolutely bewildered Undyne as she began to confess. All the little things she had told her over time, things she had led her to believe – like how anime was real – but how they really weren’t true. She took step after step closer to Undyne until they were standing side-by-side, and if the size comparison between Papyrus and Undyne was strange to see, the size difference between Undyne and Alphys was even greater.

“Alphys,” Undyne cut her off at last.

“I… I just wanted to impress you!” Alphys wailed. “I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn’t some… nerdy loser.”

“Alphys.” Undyne leaned over just a tiny bit and began stroking Alphys’s scaly head.

Drat it, was I really so lonely as this? That I wanted someone – not specifically a romantic interest, just a someone – to look at me the way Undyne was looking at Alphys right now? Tenderly, and forgivingly, with such understanding? I felt bad for being jealous, but still… I wanted some of that.

“Undyne, I… I really think you’re neat, OK…”

Undyne got on her knees to wrap her arms around Alphys’s neck. She murmured her name one more time and shushed her gently, dulling out any of the words Alphys might say.

And then she lifted her off the ground.

And threw her through a hoop.

Right into a trash can.

And the lid slammed shut on top of her.

I might have made a strangled sound of shock because this was NOT how it was supposed to go and of all the RUDE things to do to someone who just opened up their heart to you!!! But a second glance showed that Undyne – now pacing – wasn’t at all upset. If anything, she looked almost shy. Her music blared through the junkyard. “Alphys!” she said decisively, “I… think you’re neat, too, I guess. But, you’ve gotta realize… most of what you said really doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if you’re watching kid cartoons or reading history books. To me, ALL of that stuff is just NERDY CRAP! What I like about you is that you’re PASSIONATE! You’re ANALYTICAL!! It doesn’t matter what it is! YOU CARE ABOUT IT!! 100 PERCENT!! AT MAXIMUM POWER!!!” She calmed down somewhat and smiled at the trashcan. “…so, you don’t have to lie to me. I don’t want you to have to lie to anyone anymore. Alphys… I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you’ll need to do that!”

The trashcan juddered and Alphys peered out. “Undyne… you… y-you’re gonna train me?” Her voice echoed tremulously from the depths.

Undyne snorted. “Pfft, what? Me?”

Papyrus, looking twice as happy as he normally did and wearing a jogging outfit that made my eyes hurt from unforgivable fashion, rose from the garbage.

“Nah,” Undyne said, nodding to her friend. “I’m gonna get Papyrus to do it.”

Papyrus leaped over a stack of garbage to land in front of Alphys. “GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN’!!!” he bellowed. “IT’S TIME TO JOG 100 LAPS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!!!”

Dude… dude, I love ya… but that sounds like the absolute worst.

“Ready?” Undyne asked, looking amused. “I’m about to start the timer!”

“U-Undyne…” Alphys’s expression set. “I’ll do my best…!”

Alphys and Papyrus jogged off, Alphys with the trash can still around her. How she had punched her feet through the bottom to allow locomotion, I’ll never know. But then Undyne turned to me and her music, which had turned off at the arrival of Papyrus, blew up all around us at a manic pitch.

“Oh my god!!!” she exclaimed. “She was kidding, right!?”

She looked downright traumatized.

“Those cartoons… those comics… those are still REAL, right!?”

“Uhm…”

“ANIME’S REAL, RIGHT?!?!”

She just stared at me with those big ol’ shark teeth of hers in a desperate smile, eyes wide and unblinking. And all I could do was shake my head. “Sorry…” was all I could say.

“No… NO!!!!” Undyne shrieked, clutching her head. “I CAN FEEL MY HEART BREAKING INTO PIECES!!!”

But then her music stopped and she quieted herself, getting a grip with an effort. “…no, I can survive this…” she reminded herself. “I have to be strong. For Alphys. Thank you, human, for telling me the truth.”

I gave a nod, even though I still felt bad. Your entire impression of the outside world gone in a flash. That must be harsh. As someone who had to come to grips with the fact that there was no pap’rus paper, no pap’rus font, and no pap’rus skeleton, that pa-PIE-rus was the way to pronounce that word… yeah. This could possibly be a bit of a doozy.

“I’ll try my best to live in this world.” She nodded once to herself, and then once to me. “See you later!” And she marched away, leaving me alone in the junkyard.

Now… to get out of here. Slogging my way along, I was interrupted by my phone ringing. “Hello?” I said, picking it up.

“HOWDY!”

Well, if that wasn’t a dead indication that Papyrus was being influenced by Flowey, I didn’t know what was.

“IF IT ISN’T MY GOOD FRIEND, WHO TRUSTS ME.”

“What’s up, Pap’rus?” I asked, cringing at his word choices.

“YES… THIS IS PAPYRUS. YOUR ALSO MUTUAL FRIEND.”

“Yeah…?” It was getting harder to pretend that everything was normal when he was talking like that. Flowey, I swear if you’re doing anything to my friend I’ll go back to the shark idea.

“ALPHYS AND I FINISHED OUR TRAINING EARLY. VERY EARLY. SO I SENT HER HOME. VERY HOME.” I could hear his expression in his tone. “UH… NOW. I FEEL STRONGLY AND FOR NO APPARENT REASON. YOU SHOULD ALSO GO… THERE.”

Was Flowey right there? Were he and Papyrus looking at each other as he talked to me? I wouldn’t be surprised by the way Papyrus was talking.

“TO HER. LAB… HOUSE. I HAVE ONLY GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. GOODBYE.” His voice squeaked as he hung up.

If I could have called Sans and warned him about what was going on with Papyrus, I would have. I wanted to march back over to him and demand to see the flower, then threaten said flower until he promised to leave my friend alone. Papyrus had already gone through so much in the past three runs. LEAVE THE SKELETON ALONE, FLOWEY.

But I couldn’t. That wasn’t where my priorities lay. Knowing that my friend was more or less in a hostage situation because of that flower filled me with Determination and I rushed to Hotland. The sooner I complied, the sooner Flowey would leave him alone. I had been on the receiving end of Flowey’s wrath and power. Even if he had no soul now compared to the six he had held before, I had no doubt he could do some pretty nasty things if I didn’t hurry.

Into the lab I went. The lights were all on, but Alphys was nowhere to be seen. There was only a letter on the ground by the doorway that held the restroom sign. The handwriting was difficult to decipher as I squatted over it to read, but I translated as best as I could:

‘Hey. Thanks for your help back there. You guys… your support really means a lot to me. But… as difficult as it is to say this… you guys alone can’t magically make my own problems go away. I want to be a better person. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. And for that to happen, I have to be able to face my own mistakes. I’m going to start doing that now. I want to be clear. This isn’t anyone else’s problem but mine. But if you don’t ever hear from me again… if you want to know “the truth”. Enter the door to the north of this note. You all at least deserve to know what I did.’

That was all she wrote. I entered the door to the north, which opened easily as soon as I approached. There was an elevator inside. I took it down.

When I had first seen this note on my first playthrough, I had thought it had sounded like a suicide note. I wasn’t sure if it warranted a trigger warning, so you can see me glance at the camera before admitting it in my recording. Even now, the way it was phrased made me nervous. Did Flowey know? Did he know what would happen if no one came? If her letter was found too late?

The elevator began to shake. An automated voice from above began to screech a warning and I backed myself up into a corner, propping myself up against it as the elevator trembled violently. “Warning! Warning! Elevator losing power! EM Tether stability lost! Altitude dropping!” Lights flashed red and I grasped the sides tightly, bracing my feet against the floor.

Crunch. I was thrown to the floor with a lurch, everything going dark, only a resounding echo penetrating the sudden stillness. The elevator door squealed open a crack and I crawled out, giving my escaped prison an unsteady glance, shakily regaining my feet.

I was in the True Lab.

Chapter Text

Chapter 37

The lights in this place were dim, greenish. The walls had cracks in them and the air smelled dry, the smell of dust and cobwebs and some organic scent everywhere. If I had been thrown into Portal 2, the early test chambers must have smelled like this.

Screens flickered on as I passed them and I stopped to read. They held entries regarding  the experiments to break the barrier using the power of the soul. They didn’t have human souls, but they did have monster souls. The writer (Alphys, I assumed) went on to mention that Determination, the power that allowed human souls to persist after death, and wondered if this property could be transmitted to monster souls.

A little while later I came to a Save Point at an intersection where the corridor split into three separate ways. The first, branching left, wrapped around a corner. The second, dead ahead, ended at a locked door with four different lights of varying colors that weren’t lit up. Locked. The third , on the far right, had a corridor which led to another door. Also locked.

A note lay on the ground in the corner of the room. I picked it up and attempted to read, but due to the chicken scratch and the dim lighting I could only make out a few words: ‘elevator’ and ‘lost power’ and ‘enter the center door’. That’s all I could read, even after several minutes of puzzling. Not very helpful, since I already knew what needed to be done.

Welp, since paths two and three had doors that were locked… the leftmost path it was. More screens filled with more entries lit up as I passed. They told how the writer asked Asgore to send them monsters who had ‘fallen down’ – a state right where a monster was considered dead but not quite dusted. The last entry was in a room with sticky-looking operating tables. I shivered as I saw them. It was cold down here. Even though I had technically been underground this whole time, this area specifically seemed truly underground.

Three sinks stood side-by-side. I peeked through the door to the north before turning them on, even though I knew what I had to do. I turned every knob, letting mirky water flow from the first two taps. But from the third there came a strange white substance, almost like water, but also misty like some sort of gas. The sink filled with it, but instead of overflowing it billowed upwards in a mound. I could see a face form in its mass. A friendly little face. And then it exploded upwards like a baking soda volcano and I could see several faces, not all of them as pleasant as the first.

I was brought into an Encounter.

Three weird… things… I had no other way to describe them, separated from the mass and floated before me. They looked sort of like unborn fetuses, but I could see a hodge-podge of faces within them. They wavered and shimmered as if they weren’t really there, as if they were made out of static from a faulty television. I could hear voices ripple around me.

My phone was making noises. I drew it out and suddenly the voices around me annunciated and separated, issuing from the phone in a choir of hisses. “Come join the fun,” they all offered.

It was their turn. They disappeared and became their own attacks. Around me, little spots of light appeared, exploding outward to display faces like snow melting in reverse, then imploding back to nothingness. The faces were frightening, wide-eyed and unfamiliar. Almost human, but very much not. Their breath was as cold as death.

Even though I didn’t get hit, memories began to well in my mind like the first cracks forming in a dam, letting out the first drops of water before the rush. Bad memories. Memories of hopeless times, of loneliness and defeat. Sadness with no tears. Specific situations. Hiding in a tree, wondering if anyone would notice if I was gone for a little while. Longer ago, realizing that my first crush had a girlfriend now and we would never be together. An old memory I had forgotten I had, sitting on the porch feeling as if the blue sky had turned gray. “No, it won’t be alright,” I told my Auntie who was trying to console me, filled with calm despair. Being tired out from my recent failures, worn out in Toriel’s room she had prepared for me, wishing none of this had ever happened. Wishing I didn’t have to continue.

Then their turn was over and I stood shaken, staring at them, a thought echoing through my mind as if someone had spoken it aloud: But nobody came.

They waited for me to take my turn. I raised the phone’s receiver to my mouth. My tongue was dry. “Sorry, no.” I answered to their request to ‘come and join the fun’. I was glad that there were suggestions showing my options to Act. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.

The things seemed to be disappointed. I heard a voice murmur, “Oh well,” among the clamoring hiss of all the other voices.

Then their attack recommenced. The oppressing hopelessness, which had lifted somewhat, crushed in again, and I felt an unprecedented urge to stand still and let the attacks hit me. One did, and I was filled with, horrible, awful memories of the darkest points of my life. Crying in the bathroom at church, tissue pressed up against my face as I sobbed. Cruel words laughed in my direction, and then every time they came back to haunt me, even though they were meant in jest. Believing that my best friend didn’t like me anymore and sobbing because I didn’t have that many friends and I couldn’t afford to lose her. Realizing that Sans would never Spare me. Feeling the scream in my chest as our Fight ended.

I threw myself aside from the next attacks, filled with a sudden urge to stay away from them at all costs. Of every monster I had encountered, these monsters with their awful attacks were the worst.

And then it was over. They had lost interest. I Spared and they disappeared with the Encounter. The sink they had once sat in held only a shimmering red key. I took it, shivering, my stomach still churning from what I had just gone through. I didn’t like this dim lighting anymore. I wanted light. I wanted someone to join me here so I didn’t have to be alone anymore. Where was Alphys? No wonder she had left a note like that when such creatures lived down here! Did they attack her all the time? Were they of her making or did they just pop into being? Not for the first time, I felt horribly, deathly alone.

I clenched my teeth together. Now was not the time for self-pity. I marched through the nearest door and slammed the key into place. A red switch turned on.

I hurried back to the Save Point. The rush of Determination quelled my anxious mind and I felt a bit better again. I could do this. The things were gone. I was past it. I could do this.

Focusing on anything else to keep my mind from dwelling on the dark thoughts that had just left, I marched up through the doorway which had just opened with the admittance of the red key. There were more screens, telling how after an injection of Determination into the fallen monsters, they opened up their eyes. There was a large room at the end of a corridor filled with beds, lined up in rows like sleeping sentinels. The first one looked awfully inviting and I considered it for later use. I knew that there was a harder monster up ahead and to the left who I had died to several times from the other side of the screen, so healing up to maximum HP would be a good idea.

But first I had to find the other keys. Inspecting the other beds displayed the yellow key, which I slipped onto my phone’s keychain. Alphys really went to no expense on this thing. While I had my phone out, I also got the stick out of my dimensional box. I would also need that. At the far end of the room, the screen’s entries spoke of how the fallen monsters had all woken up. How the Determination had cured them… or so it seemed at this point at least.

I winced in sympathy. I knew how this story would go. Who I would meet up ahead. I traveled to the east of the beds and came into a corridor filled with potted flowers. I looked at them distrustfully, expecting Flowey to peek out from among them at any moment. None so much as shifted. Thank goodness.

The entries in this area, which were a little earlier than the ones about the fallen monsters, told of the experiments to create a being neither human nor monster to hold the souls to break the barrier. I knew how this one ended, too. Determination injected into a non-living flower. Rise of Flowey.

Something caught my eye as I passed by one of the mirrored panels on the wall. A shift of movement? I turned to stare at my reflection. As I looked, my startled visage relaxed and began to grin. Then it split away from my reflection like a film, coming off the mirror toward me. I was dragged into an Encounter.

Even though I should’ve expected something like that to happen, it was still startling. The monster before me was one of the amalgamates: the monsters who had merged together due to the Determination not complying with their structure, causing them to melt. This one looked like some sort of bird with a single eye, a beak, and a long, dripping body. Two more figures comprised what looked like wings. Even though it should have been melting into a goopy puddle, something caused it to stand completely upright like a scarecrow. I could hear weird whispering noises come from its figure.

There was no name for this thing. When I used the Check option, no coherent information displayed itself.

It was the Amalgamate’s turn. I watched in horror as it withdrew from the ground and allowed a portion of goop drip into the box. It took a figure of a squat, white, birdlike figure (seemingly no relation to the Amalgamate), who looked at me with hollow eyes. White moth attacks began to descend on the bird’s head. It made no sound, but it waved its stubby arms frantically, trying to wipe away the moths, dropping to its knees in terror.

This horrifying spectacle disappeared and it was my turn again. I had never really figured out what to do with the Amalgamates. My victories had always been trial and error. But… maybe some logic could be applied with this? They eye of the bird Amalgamate seemed to be formed from an Astigmatism. One of the ghostly options that floated for me to Act upon was ‘pick on’. Maybe… maybe I should do that?

I licked my lips. “You kiss your mama with that ugly face of yours?” I croaked, barking out harsh laughter.

That was all I needed, apparently. The eye blinked and stared at me. Even though it really shouldn’t have, the entire goopy bird seemed… happier? Just a little bit?

The attack phased back into being. The birdlike attack now had its head completely consumed by moths. It began walking towards me, moths flying off like projectiles in my direction. Let me tell you, it was HORRIFYING.

Since all the rest was trial and error, let me just sum up what happened. Turns out the thing was called the Reaper Bird and it was created out of Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot, which I found out after picking on it, doing something mysterious, and praying for safety. After I had done these three options, the garbled voices emanating from the bird split and I could hear their different tones separately. The Reaper Bird was satiated and I was allowed to move onward.

At the end of the corridor was a small room with a slot for a blue key, so that was completely useless until later. I trotted back out of the corridor, making to Save once more in the bed room before heading north.

I headed toward the nearest doorway on the left. If my memory was correct, this was where the green key lay. There was a curtain at the far side of the room shielding a shower. I could see something undulating behind it, swinging back and forth like a metronome, a strong beat like a heartbeat wubbing in my ears as I inched forward.

I was so slow. It felt like when Papyrus had grabbed my soul with his magic in his sleep. Time itself seemed to slur as I reached for the curtain.

There was no one there. Just the green key lying in the shower stall. I snagged it and hurried out, feeling like I was being watched.

Straight ahead down the corridor, past the door I had entered. The entries on the screen displayed the author experiencing some distress. Guess Alphys had gotten up to the part where the fallen monsters began merging. That must’ve been awful to witness.

The air began to grow mistier as I went further in. I saw one more entry on the wall, bathing the unclear air in a greenish sheen, that was about Alphys finishing up Mettaton’s new body. Her concerns about him not needing her anymore, and how she got all sweaty each time she looked at it. Well, maybe if you don’t make your robot so darn good lookin’ you wouldn’t be having this problem, eh, Alphys? Not that I could judge her. I got a little sensitive when drawing good looking guys in my sketchbook, too.

Through the haze I spotted a switch. The air instantly began to clear when I flipped it. But little pieces of whiteness, which I had thought was lint or something, began to culminate and merge into a bigger clump. The clump gained legs and began to inch slowly toward me, a large orifice like a goop-filled void in the center of its head. Goopy, but doglike. I stepped forward to greet it. It pulled me into an Encounter.

In an Encounter it looked even more doglike. I could even hear multiple barking sounds coming from its depths. In the spaces between its legs (which numbered MUCH more than four!) I could see shapes resembling either dogs or cats. I figured they were probably dogs, but they warped in and out of being too fast to see.

I pulled the stick out of my inventory. “Hey!” I grinned at the dripping doggy. “You wanna play fetch? You wanna play fetch?”

It did, apparently. I threw the stick and it nearly swallowed it up in that void of a face-hole, bringing it back to me intact, but sticky. A sticky stick. Hmm.

It didn’t even take a turn, apparently pleased with its experience. I Spared, thankful for an easy battle. Endogeny, for so its name appeared to be, disappeared along with the Encounter.

Now for the tricky bit. I went back and Saved before re-counting my supplies in preparation. Here was going to be a tough battle.

The question was… should I do it before or after watching the tapes in the upper room?

Before, I decided. Watching the tapes would be my reward for surviving. I could take a little down time then.

But even before exiting the room, I might as well try out the bed trick. There were plenty of beds in the room and usually I couldn’t sleep in the daytime, but who was to say it was really daytime down here? Maybe videogame logic would assist me and I could take a quick nap!

Well, it was at least worth a try! I headed over to the bed and lay down, hanging my feet off the edge so the boots wouldn’t touch the covers. I turned on my side with my face pointing at the opposite wall. Normally I would pull the covers up as well, but… boots. Didn’t want to be rude, after all.

I closed my eyes, but instead of feeling sleepier, I felt every sense become alive. The music quieted in the room, but my ears strained for any sense of noise.

Then he was behind me. I sensed him, even if he made no sound. Who knew who or what he was – an Amalgamate? Another monster? It didn’t matter! – he was standing RIGHT behind me, leaning over the bed.

I could feel his arm reaching out. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise in anticipation. My eyes were clamped shut. Only if he dragged me into an Encounter would I move. His arm hovered over me for one tense second. Then two.

Then the covers were drawn up snuggly around me, carefully arranged so as not to touch my shoes. The Amalgamate, whoever he was, gave me a gentle pat on the head, then his presence disappeared.

I stayed stock-still for a few tense minutes, feigning sleep. What were you supposed to DO in a situation like this??? And why? Why would he do something like this? Unless this was his be--…

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, this was his bed. I was sleeping in the Amalgamate’s bed like a total jerk. Just because a bed is unoccupied doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have an owner, Goldilocks.

But him tucking me in, patting me on the head… was that his way of giving me his blessing? And if so, it would be horribly rude to vacate said bed screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs, but there was no way I was going back to sleep after that! So I faked being asleep for a few more minutes before getting back up, making a show of rubbing my eyes even though my HP hadn’t increased one bit. I headed out the door. Maybe the next Amalgamate would kill me and that whole unpleasant situation would be erased. Drat, I was such a horrible houseguest!

The monster I had to get past next was disguised in the shape of a Save Point. I didn’t even see it at first, though, because looming above everything else in the room, held up by numerous pipes and wires, was the device known as the DT Extraction Machine. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t remember it would be here. And trust me when I say it is far more menacing in person than it seems from the other side of the screen.

The DT Extraction Machine was created out of reddish metal. Two oval holes looked like eyes in a skullish face and another hole beneath it like a nasal cavity. It looked like some ghoulish hodge-podge of a Gaster Blaster and Omega Flowey, with a bit of outer space sci-fi robo tech mixed in. I didn’t like it. I knew that as soon as I had to get by I was skipping past that thing and hoping it didn’t move to follow me.

But first: monster. I passed my hand through the fake Save Point (how the monster knew to impersonate a Save Point was brought up many questions) and was not at all surprised to find it obnoxiously gluey. It turned white, billowing upwards like bread rising in fast motion. I was swept into an Encounter.

This Encounter was easier than I expected. Now, standing next to her, I could see clearly that this Amalgamate was formed from Shyren, Aaron, and a creature known as a Moldbygg, which I had encountered before in Waterfall. Or… probably family members, since there was only one Shyren.

I cleared my throat and hummed the chorus from ‘The Boxer’ by Simon and Garfunkle. You know, the part that goes ‘li li li’ a bunch of times. The Aaron-like arm twitched in rhythm to my notes, which was weird, but seemed to indicate that it was working.

Also, the monster smelled like iris flowers. Iris flowers always smelled lemony to me. Lemon-honey scented, that’s what irises smelled like. And that’s what the monster smelled like. Weird.

The Amalgamate’s attack was scary. First an unholy shriek rose from the creature: “Welcome to my special Hell”, and then a row of sharp teeth jutted out from the top and bottom of the box, a single space empty and available for me to duck into before the jaws clamped shut. I didn’t like it.

For the Aaron part of the Amalgamate, I flexed. For the Moldbygg section the Actions suggested that I ‘unhug’, which threw me for a loop at first, but I decided on crossing my arms behind my back and that seemed to work. A glamburger down, but otherwise I was unharmed! I was getting really good at this!

Lemon Bread’s name was revealed as her voices untangled themselves. The hellish words coming from her form, varying from ‘do you think I’m pretty?’ to ‘that’s what they all say’ and many others, quieted somewhat as she disappeared with the Encounter. I let out a sigh of relief, giving the DT Extractor one last distrusting glare before I headed up to sit in front of the small tv screen in the northern room and listen to the tapes labeled 1-5. I knew what they would say, of course. I just wanted to hear them for myself. I put the yellow key into the slot before I could forget and sat down to enjoy the movie.

The first tape displayed grainy images. I could hardly make anything out besides a few shadows. But I could hear Toriel and Asgore’s voices clearly. Toriel was pregnant with Asriel at that time, and very excited to be a new mother. She kept making mom puns at Asgore, who didn’t seem up to par with her standards of puniness. Hearing them in this state was a little painful, back when they still loved each other. Or, more accurately, back when she loved him. I wasn’t looking forward to sitting in on that argument.

The second tape was interesting because I got to hear Asriel’s voice for the first time. My brain did a little jump when I heard it, like I remembered hearing it before, long ago. He didn’t sound all that much like Flowey, though. Maybe it was because he was so blissful, laughing with his sibling in the flower patches.

I couldn’t hear Chara’s voice. Not here or in any of the other tapes. I heard a dull murmur as if someone was talking softly in the background, but I couldn’t make out if it was a girl’s voice, or a boy’s. Asriel’s was always a lot closer and louder.

Something I hadn’t picked up on until I heard it here: Chara had INTENTIONALLY poisoned themselves to let Asriel take their soul. I hadn’t realized that. Like… dude! Drastic, much?

The final tape was hard to listen to. I wasn’t sure who was recording this, or why, but it was obvious that Chara was dying. I could hear little sobbing sounds from Toriel as she whispered, “Chara… can you hear me? We want you to wake up…”

Then a bit after, Asgore’s voice. “Chara! You have to stay determined! You can’t give up… You are the future of humans and monsters…”

That was the really weird one to listen to. He kept saying things that I remembered when I died. It brought up many questions, but I had to set them all aside to listen.

Asgore and Toriel, with many stifled sobs, apparently left the room. I heard a rustle as Asriel entered. “Psst… Chara… Please… wake up…” he whispered in a choked, hesitating voice. “I don’t like this plan anymore.” Was he crying too? “I… I…”

Yeah. He was definitely crying. I heard another rustle, like he was drying his eyes with his shirt, and another sniffle. “No… I said... I said I’d never doubt you. Six, right? We just have to get six… And we’ll do it together, right?”

There was a noise, but there the tape ended. I felt my forehead crease a bit as I stretched, standing up. These tapes made me feel more disheartened than when I started them. A weird, forgotten piece of the past collected and stored in this strange place. It was poetically nostalgic… but also terribly tragic. The entry on the nearby wall stated that Alphys had found them when collecting data on human souls, but she didn’t think Asgore had ever watched them. She didn’t think he should, and I agreed with that notion. There was no need to deepen those wounds.

Moving past the DT Extractor on the very tiny walkway in front of it as quickly as I could without flat-out running and making an embarrassment of myself to any Amalgamate who might be watching, I got into the next room. This one was filled with fridges. I assumed the fridges were used to store supplies of the science variety, but they were all empty. One of them shook in an alarming way, but there was still nothing inside. I still didn’t trust it.

The final fridge was an Amalgamate. It swept me into an Encounter as I passed by. But this Encounter… it was different than the other ones. The monster before me seemed to be falling apart. And not like the other ones were in goopy spurts. This one seemed… sick. Despairing. Hardly noticing my presence. When I Checked it, it seemed to be losing itself.

“sn…o…wy…” it murmured when it was its turn. Its attacks fell like heavy snowflakes, landing on the bottom of the Encounter Box and spinning there uselessly, not even trying to hit me.

This monster seemed to be mostly Snow Drake with two Vegitoids on either side of her face and melting slush making up the rest of her appearance. It was cold in this Encounter. The same kind of cold you feel on a bleak morning with snow that has been sitting on the ground for weeks on end. No wind. Just chill.

She’s a Snow Drake, I thought to myself, licking my lips. So… she’ll enjoy a joke, right? Even though I might discourage punning, I was pretty good coming up with puns myself, given the right inspiration.

“Hey, ICE to meet you,” I said.

Slightly, ever so slightly, the Amalgamate perked up. She laughed, her voice just a distant echo. “i… remem… ber…” she murmured.

Her attacks fell, wavering. They didn’t even come close to hitting me.

I still couldn’t Spare. I tried for another ice pun. “Hey, there’s no need to be so COLD,” I said. “We could just CHILL OUT a little, you know!”

She gave another laugh. “thank… you…” she whispered.

One more pun. I could do it. “It was SNOW nice meeting ya,” I said with a smile.

She smiled back as best as she could. She had completely calmed down. In a moment she was gone with the Encounter, a blue key shimmering in a puddle where she had stood. I didn’t know her name. It had never told me. Wherever she was, I hoped that she was taking care of herself. Poor thing.

The room up north had a slot for the green key. I slipped it in and headed back to the slot for the blue key. Then it was back to the central room to enter the locked door.

The locked door led to a powerless elevator. Normally this would be a bad thing since it meant I couldn’t go anywhere, but the leftmost wall of the elevator was open, leading to another corridor. I took a peek at the wall to my right and decided that maybe that wall could possibly open up as well, but without power there was no way to be sure. Still, genius design. It was under the realm of ‘hidden passages to make your home twice as large as it seems’ that I absolutely adore. Brilliant!

With nowhere else to turn, I headed down the left passage. There were screens along the side, but they didn’t light up with my approach, or display messages when I tapped them. Strange that it would only happen here, not in the rest of the lab.

I turned the corner and came to a wide open room, mostly taken up by a single large mechanical device spanning from floor to ceiling. A gazillion pipes twisted from the center, which seemed to be bolted to the floor. A screen with bright red letters shone in the center, and above it was an engraved symbol of a red heart. It looked too close to the soul I had inside me. A little too close to home.

I tapped the screen hesitantly. A few options flagged up for where to divert power. I selected ‘Elevators’ and let it do its thing. There was a whirr of noise and a flicker as the power was diverted, but this seemed to be the right choice. I sighed and turned around.

But I was accosted. Before me were the Amalgamates, inching forward against the tiled gray ground. Their gloopy white forms slurped as they moved and I instinctively took a step backwards. “Uh… hey!” I greeted.

Their moaning sounds kicked up a notch. I wondered if they were trying to talk to me. Even though I knew that they wouldn’t all gang up on me at once, there were too many of them to feel totally safe. They didn’t seem angry or upset, thankfully, but I wasn’t really sure what they wanted. Plus, they were getting REALLY close, now. “Uhm…” I said again, my back now against the control panel as they loomed above me, hardly a foot away.

“Hey! Stop!!!”

“Alphys!” I shouted around the nearest Amalgamate, who whipped around to peer at our guest. Between their misty bodies I could see Alphys skittering into the room, wringing her hands. The Amalgamates parted, their expressions turned a tad jumpy, like a toddler who was caught roughhousing with the family pet.

“I got you guys some food, okay!?” Alphys told the Amalgamates. She was sweating, but she didn’t seem to be afraid of them. The Amalgamates all visibly perked up, hastening from the room to fetch the food.

“Thank you,” I sighed, glad to have my personal space back again. “They were getting a little too close for comfort!”

“Oh… s-sorry about that,” Alphys apologized, sweating even more. “They get kind of sassy when they don’t get fed on time.”

“Ah,” I said. “What do they eat, exactly?”

“Hm…? O-oh… pretty much anything. They probably smelled the food you had on you and…” She stopped herself. “Anyways! The power went out, and I’ve been trying to turn it back on! But it seems like you were one step ahead of me. This was probably just a big inconvenience for you…”

“Nah, it’s alright,” I assured automatically.

“B-but I appreciate that you came here to back me up!” she finished.

“Yeah!”

“As I said, I was afraid I might… not come back…” She faltered, but hastened to explain, “But that’s not because of these guys or anything! I was just worried I would be too afraid… to tell the truth. That I might run away or do something…” Her eyes flicked up to mine, then back down again as if she was choosing her words carefully. “…Cowardly.”

She had a small smile on her face. It immediately put me on edge. I rocked forward, putting a hand out. “Hey,” I said. Alphys gave a shrug as if to say, ‘it’s alright’.

“Uh… I… I suppose I owe you an explanation,” she said at last. “As you probably know, Asgore asked me to study the nature of souls. During my research, I isolated a power I called ‘Determination’. I injected it into dying monsters so their souls would last after death. But the experiment failed. You see, unlike humans’, monsters’ bodies don’t have enough physical matter to take those concentrations of ‘Determination’. Their bodies began to melt, and lost what physicality they had. Pretty soon, all of the test subjects had melted together into…” Her eyes flicked hesitantly toward the door. “Those.”

I nodded slowly. Even though I had pieced this all together before, I was glad to hear it in a unit.

“Seeing like this, I knew I couldn’t tell their families about it. I couldn’t tell anyone about it. No matter how much everyone was asking me. And I was too afraid to do any more work, knowing… everything I’d done so far had been such a horrific failure.”

“Hey, you built Mettaton, didn’t you?” I objected.

“Mettaton… doesn’t count,” she said. Then sweat immediately beaded on her brow and she exclaimed, “I mean… he’s not finished yet! Yeah! I never really got around to completing his final form so… he… doesn’t count. But now…” and she resumed her calm. “Now I’ve changed my mind about all this. I’m going to tell everyone what I’ve done.”

I nodded solemnly, not even glorifying her comment with a ‘good for you’, even though I kind of wanted to. This was her choice. Her moment. Her time to decide whether it was good or bad.

“It’s going to be hard,” she murmured after a moment’s silence. “Being honest… believing in myself… I’m sure there will be times where I’ll struggle. I’m sure there will be times where I’ll screw up again. But knowing, deep down, that I have friends to fall back on…” And here she gave me a shy smile. “I know it’ll be a lot easier to stand up on my own.”

I returned her smile. “We’re with you. All the way.”

Wait, why did that sound familiar? Oh, right. In the phone call that never happened, Undyne had told me the same thing. Coming full circle here.

Alphys blushed just a little bit. “Thank you,” she whispered.

The Amalgamates returned, looking happy. Alphys turned to them, squaring her shoulders. “Come on, guys,” she told them. “It’s time for everyone to go home.”

Who knew if they understood a word she said, but they followed her out of the room, their garbled words echoing happily into the distance.

I nodded after her, looking up at the contraption behind me again, allowing the scientist and her failed experiments to get a little farther down before I followed.

Finally, with a sigh, I walked out of the room, reading the messages that had come up on screen with the power rediverted. It was basically more about Flowey’s awakening. Alphys choosing a candidate for the Determination injection, how it was a flower from Asgore’s garden. The first flower that had come from the surface world when Asriel came back. The second screen only said this: The flower’s gone.

Mulling this over, I stepped into the elevator. As I did, my phone rang. Was it just me, or did it ring more slowly this time? Like it had come through a hole in time and space to deliver this message? Like it carried a thousand years with the weight of its call?

I pulled the phone up to my ear. “Hello?” I asked.

“Chara… are you there?”

I… I had never heard this voice before. Or at least, I thought I hadn’t. My first impression was that it was Flowey talking, but… no it wasn’t. And it wasn’t the voice in the old tape recordings either… was it?

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it…?”

I opened my mouth. No words came out.

“But you’ve done well. Thanks to you, everything has fallen into place. Chara…”

The voice hesitated. Then, as he spoke the next words, I could hear a smile in his voice.

“See you soon.”

Then the elevator began to MOVE. I couldn’t even tell which direction it was going, just that everything was jiggling and gyrating and I was down on the ground hoping to all hope that I wouldn’t get dashed against the walls and die because the last checkpoint was a mile back and please make it stop make it stop make it—

It was over. The door was open. I launched myself off of my hands and knees, my only thought being to get me out of the nightmare box before it crashed and sent me to my doom. I braked hard once I was out, slapping my palms against an opposing wall, and staring back at the elevator doors. Almost snidely, they closed. With a shuffling sound, leafy vines snaked over the doors, barring me from escape.

I was back in the Capital.

And the door was shut.

Chapter Text

Chapter 38

With nothing else to do, I walked through the Capital again. The secondary elevator, which led to right before the Judgement Hall, was functioning now, so I rode it down and skipped the long walk. I could hardly believe it. I was finally almost done. It was a strange feeling. I could hardly believe that it was true.

I passed through the Last Corridor as quickly as I could, feeling as if Sans was going to jump out at me any second and give me another judgement. He didn’t, however, and I breathed easy as I exited the hall.

Asgore was not in the throne room. Or in the room adjacent. Had he been waiting by the barrier all this time? I had no idea how long I had been gone, but it felt like ages.

I prepped my items. If I had thought about it more I would have bought some items from the vending machine in Alphys’s lab. But I hadn’t thought, and now I was stuck with the Butterscotch pie, a Snowman Piece that I wasn’t going to eat, (actually, yanno, I didn’t really need that piece. Back it went inside the dimensional box.) and a couple Starfaits. Not exactly the best to go into battle with.

I Saved one final time. My stomach was dancing with excitement. No turning back now.

Here we go.

I stood before Asgore one more time. The light of twilight was shining through the barrier. I was filled with Determination.

“Human…” said Asgore, voice solemn and low, “It was nice to meet you. Goodbye.”

He lowered his head. I waited for his trident to come whipping out from under his robes, making a sound like a crack of thunder. But it never came. Instead, a large white ball of flame materialized, not in my little Encounter box, but in front of Asgore. He looked up, startled. It hit him in the chest, knocking him to the side. I made a noise, a mixture of ‘uh’ and ‘hey’ and the resulting sound came out with more vowels than anything else.

And then Toriel was there before me. Her expression was haughty as she stared at the fallen king, who was picking himself up off the ground. The music that had sounded when she appeared to me the first time struck up once more with her appearance. “What a miserable creature,” Toriel said, “torturing such a poor, innocent youth…”

“Toriel!” I exclaimed. Even though I knew that she would be coming, it felt so good to see her again. Even though she wasn’t dead, part of me still believed that she was.

Toriel’s grimace turned into a smile as she looked at me. “Do not be afraid, my child,” she told me. “It is indeed I, Toriel, your friend and guardian.”

I let out a huff of laughter. It felt really good to see her again.

“At first,” she continued, “I thought I would let you make your journey alone… but I could not stop worrying about you.”

“Aw,” I said.

Master of words here at your service, Toriel. I promise I’m better at writing.

“Your adventures must have been so treacherous. And ultimately, it would burden you with a horrible choice. To leave this place, you would have to take the life of another person. You would have to defeat Asgore. However,” she added, and her expression became less grim, “I realized… I cannot allow that. It is not right to sacrifice someone simply to let someone leave here. Is that not what I have been trying to prevent this whole time? So, for now, let us suspend this battle. As terrible as Asgore is… he deserves mercy too.”

“Agreed,” I said with a thumbs-up. I hoped she understood that I was agreeing to the suspension of the battle, not to the terribleness of Asgore.

The aforementioned king limped forward into the Encounter range, holding his chest where the fireball had struck. “Tori…” he gasped. “You came back…!”

Toriel’s gaze spat venom. “Do not ‘Tori’ me, Dreemur! You pathetic whelp.”

Asgore looked stunned with the whip of her voice. I instinctively cringed.

“If you really wanted to free our kind you could have gone through the barrier after you got ONE soul, taken six souls from the humans, then come back and freed everyone peacefully. But instead, you made everyone live in despair because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes.”

I wanted to point out that her plan STILL involved killing another six humans, but I didn’t have the gumption to speak up.

“Tori… you’re right…” Asgore said after a long silence. “I am a miserable creature… but, do you think we can at least be friends again?”

His pathetic, wistful expression was immediately shot down by Toriel’s huff of annoyance and a firm, “NO, Asgore.”

Footsteps sounded behind me. Undyne, back in her tank top with hair pulled back and flapping in the wind, barged in with a war cry. “Asgore! Human!! Nobody fight each other!!!” she bellowed. Everyone’s gonna make friends, or I’ll…!! I’ll…”

She caught sight of Toriel and stopped.

“Hello,” the good lady said. “I am Toriel. Are you the human’s friend?”

“She’s my bestie,” I supplied when Undyne’s one good eye flicked to me.

“It is nice to meet you,” Toriel said with a graceful nod and a smile.

“Uh, yeah…?” Undyne, obviously confused, still gave a huge grin. “Nice to meet you!” She walked over to stand next to Asgore, muttering in his fluffy ear, “Hey Asgore, is that your ex? Jeez. That’s rough, buddy.”

Asgore gave a dejected nod, but stayed quiet.

Another tap of footsteps and Alphys made an appearance. “H-hey!” she yelped. “Nobody hurt each other!!” Then she in turn saw Toriel.

“Oh! Are you another friend?” Toriel asked.

“This is Doctor Alphys,” I introduced. “Head royal scientist.”

“I am Toriel. Hello!”

“Uh, h-h-hi!” Alphys squeaked, her stutter more pronounced than ever. As she walked past me, she hissed, “There’s two of them???”

I could only give a nod as she went to stand beside Undyne, who looked more than happy to share her company.

Next, a rapid patter of footfalls and then Papyrus burst into the room. My face split into a grin to see him. “HEY!” he blustered. “NOBODY FIGHT ANYONE! IF ANYONE FIGHTS ANYONE…! THEN I’LL!!! BE FORCED!!!” He took a second to think over his words before finishing, “TO ASK UNDYNE FOR HELP!!!”

I gave a snicker, but hastily cleared my face of emotion.

“Hello!” said Toriel with an amused smile.

“OH! HELLO, YOUR MAJESTY!” Papyrus grinned. He then came over to stand next to me, whispering as quietly as he could (which wasn’t very quiet at all), “PSST! HEY, HUMAN…” I was gonna need to tell him my name sooner or later. This whole ‘human’ thing was getting grating. “DID ASGORE SHAVE…? AND…” he gave a sideways glance at the king. “CLONE HIMSELF????”

“That’s not actually the king,” I whispered back. “That’s Toriel. She’s not Asgore.”

“OH????”

Before I could continue, Sans was standing on my other side as if he had been there the whole time. I jumped. “hey guys… what’s up?” he asked languidly.

Toriel’s face showed surprise. “That voice…!!” she exclaimed and hurried forward to stand in front of the smaller skeleton. The height comparison between them was hilarious, I have to say. If she’s a head and a half taller than ME, she was two heads taller than him. “Hello,” she said, almost sounding shy. “I think we may… know each other?”

All the others looked at each other in confusion. But Sans’s face lit up. “oh hey… i recognize your voice, too.”

“I am Toriel,” said the lady. “So nice to meet you.”

“the name’s sans,” said Sans. “and, uh, same.”

The king looked absolutely distraught. I winced in his direction, filled with sympathy. This couldn’t be pleasant for him.

“Oh! Wait, then…!” Toriel shifted to look at Papyrus. “This must be your brother, Papyrus! Greetings, Papyrus! It is so nice to finally meet you! Your brother has told me so much about you.”

Papyrus’s bony cheeks flushed pink. “WOWIE… I CAN’T BELIEVE ASGORE’S CLONE KNOWS WHO I AM!!!” he exclaimed.

“I told you, she’s not a clone,” I mumbled through my lips.

Papyrus shouted right over me. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!”

“Hey, Papyrus…” Toriel asked with a sparkle in her eyes, “what does a skeleton tile his roof with?”

“HMMM…” Papyrus took this into careful consideration. “SNOW-PROOF ROOF TILES???”

“No, silly,” Toriel giggled, looking far happier than I had ever seen her before. “A skeleton tiles his roof with… SHIN-gles!!!”

“I CHANGED MY MIND!!!” Papyrus bellowed. “THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!”

I chuckled, but mostly because of his reaction. That joke… was pretty bad.

“Come on, Asgore,” Undyne was saying to the king, patting his shoulder spike. “It’s gonna be OK! There are plenty of fish in the sea…”

“Y-yeah, Asgore!!!” piped up Alphys. “Undyne’s totally right about that fish thing! S-sometimes you’ve just got to, uh… s-stop going after furry boss monsters and, uh…” Her voice went up in pitch as she went on. “J-just get to know a really cute fish…?”

Both she and Undyne looked away as Alphys fumbled with her words. “It’s a metaphor,” she explained lamely.

“Well.” Undyne laughed. “I think it’s a good analogy.”

Mettaton, who must have been lurking just outside the doorway, burst in with a leg stretched out in front of him. Like ya do. “Oh my god,” he cried dramatically. “Will you two just SMOOCH already!? The audience is dying for some romantic action!!!”

I wasn’t sure what audience he was referring to. It wasn’t me.

Undyne flared. “Hey, shut up!!!” she bellowed as Mettaton exited. “Man! The nerve of that guy! Right, Alphys!??”

But Alphys didn’t agree.

“Uh, Alphys?”

After a second of sweaty silence the dinosaur monster declared, “No. He’s right. Let’s do it.”

A look of complete confuzzlement crossed Undyne’s face. But she answered, “Well??? Uh??? I guess??? If you want to??? Then??? Don’t hold anything back!!!” And they leaned forward.

I’m not sure if Toriel noticed how I was readying my hands to hold them in front of my eyes to give them some privacy, but she darted forward to stand between the two. “W-wait!” she said. “Not in front of the human!”

Bless you, Toriel.

“Uhh, right!” Alphys exclaimed. She and Undyne pulled away, both flushing. “S-sorry, I got a little carried away there.”

I made a motion, although I was still a little embarrassed. Toriel giggled. Sans and Papyrus joined the others in a line before me and I cringed even harder, though I tried hard to hide it. THIS part. I… I didn’t want THIS part.

“My child,” said Toriel, “it seems as if you must stay here for a while. But looking at all the great friends you have made…” and here she appraised the line with a smile, “I think… I think you will be happy here.”

I smiled and nodded, although internally I was shrinking. “Yeah,” I said. “I think you’re right.”

Alphys jumped. “H-hey, that reminds me.” She turned to the taller of the two skeletons. “Papyrus… YOU called everyone here, right? Well, besides, uh, her.” She gave a nod to Toriel. “Uh, anyway… if I got here before you… how did you know how to call everybody?”

Papyrus struck a pose and gave a large smile. “LET’S JUST SAY…” The music suddenly cut off. “A TINY FLOWER HELPED ME.”

Sans gave me a quizzical look. He had finally noticed my expression. I gave him the tiniest of head shakes. I couldn’t tell him. I wanted to. But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.

Alphys looked stunned. Her voice quavered as she repeated, “A tiny… flower?”

Have any of you seen Star Trek: Into Darkness? It’s a great movie. Somewhere near the beginning, a large database collection is bombed, so all of Starfleet is collected to discuss the problem. Kirk realized just a split second too late that the database was just the first step in a larger plan: to get all the admirals, captains, and first officers together in one place. So that they all could be attacked at the same time.

In my first playthrough, this scene ran through my brain even though I didn’t have time to voice it. They were all together. Maybe not all of the ones I cared about, but enough.

A vine ripped through the room, strikingly green in the black-and-white Encounter, sending everyone to their knees. I gave a whimpered shout as the vine wrapped around them individually, raising them each off the ground and squeezing them around their chests. They pulsed red. I heard Papyrus give a shout of pain and Undyne a cry of ire. I would have run forward, but I was blocked. Flowey was before me.

“You idiots,” he said, a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s. My arms tensed at my sides. I glared at him as balefully as Toriel had been glaring at Asgore. “While you guys were having your little pow-wow… I took the human souls!!!”

Asgore made a sound, but his struggling was useless. Sans wasn’t even moving. His eyes had gone dark. Alphys’s expression was blank with pain.

“And now, not only are THOSE under my power… but all of your friends’ souls are gonna be mine, too!”

“Let them go, Flowey,” I demanded, looking at each of their pained expressions in turn, feeling fear clasp my heart. Sans only had one HP. Undyne was struggling too hard for it to be safe. Papyrus wasn’t making any noise, but sweat was dripping down his skull.

Flowey giggled. “I don’t think so. We haven’t even gotten to the best part, yet. You wanna know what it is? It’s all your fault,” he whispered, face contorting into a dark, smiling mask. “It’s all because you MADE them love you. All the time you spent listening to them… encouraging them… caring about them…”

I doubted they were listening now. They each seemed trapped in their own private hell.

“Without that, they wouldn’t have come here. And now, with their souls and the humans’ together… I will achieve my real form.”

I glared at him. I didn’t have any words left to waste on this photosynthesizing freak. I just wanted him to move on so my friends could be set free.

“Huh?” Flowey cocked his head. “WHY am I still doing this? Don’t you get it? This is all just a GAME.”

Another lurch of hatred rushed through my system. It wasn’t just a game. Not anymore. Not to me and certainly not to them. It was like when Monika based reality on numbers in the computer and destroyed her friends because they hadn’t reached the level of comprehension that she had. Now I thought of it… it was EXACTLY like that.

“If you leave the underground satisfied, you’ll ‘win’ the game. If you ‘win’, you won’t want to ‘play’ with me anymore.” A flicker of irritation crossed the flower’s face, but it was replaced with a smile in an instance. “And what would I do then? But this game between us will NEVER end.”

“Wanna bet?” I gritted softly between clenched teeth.

“I’ll hold victory in front of you, just within your reach… and then tear it away just before you grasp it. Over, and over, and over…”

He gave another high-pitched giggle. “Listen,” he said, and his expression turned cynical. “If you DO defeat me, I’ll give you your ‘happy ending’. I’ll bring your friend back. I’ll destroy the barrier. Everyone will finally be satisfied.”

I nodded. “Okay. Deal.”

He grinned even wider. “But that WON’T happen. You…! I’ll keep you here no matter what!”

He popped underground to reappear a few steps away. The Encounter Box clapped tightly around my soul. My body was outside, at least most of it, but I couldn’t move. My soul was trapped too tightly. A circle of Friendliness pellets encircled me, but I couldn’t get out of the way. Couldn’t duck, couldn’t dodge. There was nowhere I could go. I was stuck in a standing position, forced to watch as the spinning seeds closed in around me.

“Even if it means killing you 1,000,000 times,” hissed Flowey.

I shouted in pain and alarm as the seeds jabbed inward, taking off 7 HP. I clenched my teeth tightly, but the next bout was even more painful, taking off another 7. I had 6/20 HP left. The pain searing my soul was insufferable. I whimpered as my knees threatened to bring me to the ground, but my soul kept me aloft, the box dragging me upright. I scrambled to regain my footing.

One more thrust of the friendliness pellets and I was down to 1/20 HP. I’ve mentioned this before, but being at 1 HP is exhausting. It’s like being on death’s door. You feel so much more vulnerable in this state of impending death. I sucked in air. A final ring of friendliness pellets surrounded me, farther out than usual. Flowey was grinning, an array of teeth glistening in his mouth. He began to laugh as the friendliness pellets constricted around me, slow and deliberate. I let out another whimper: “help.” The seeds were around me. They were almost touching my skin.

And then I was surrounded by a shield. Fireballs, one for each pellet, flashed into existence around me. There was a brief flare of heat, but I was left unharmed. I huffed a breath, almost a laugh. I had been saved.

“What?” Flowey seemed aggravated.

Toriel raised her head, even though this motion seemed to cost her a world of effort. Music began to play, urgent and pleading, yet hopeful. “Do not be afraid, my child…” she whispered. “No matter what happens… we will always be there to protect you!”

“I love you, Toriel!” I shouted at her. And I meant it.

My soul flared. HP: 2/20.

Flowey gritted his teeth. A row of seeds streaked for me from my right. Then from my left. But a bone blocked the leftmost attack and a spear guarded my right. Papyrus, still sweating, managed to regain his signature smile. “THAT’S RIGHT, HUMAN! YOU CAN WIN!!” he declared. Even though he smiled, I still wanted to rip him from the thorny green briars that entangled him. “JUST DO WHAT I WOULD DO… BELIEVE IN YOU!!!”

“I will!” I screamed.

HP: 3/20. Flowey was starting to look uneasy.

“Hey! Human!” Undyne snarled, managing to get a big grin on her face despite the pain she must be in, “If you got past ME, you can do ANYTHING! So don’t worry! We’re with you all the way!”

“Thank you, Undyne!”

HP: 4/20.

Sans’s eyes faded back in. He managed to look as if he was just chilling in the twisting vines, even though his voice betrayed his effort. “huh? you haven’t beaten this guy yet?”

“Well, I’m trying!” I yelled up at him. His smile just stretched wider as he stifled a grunt.

“come on, this weirdo’s got nothing on you.”

I huffed a laugh. It really did pain me to see him hurting. “Thanks, Sans.”

HP 5/20.

More friendliness pellets. Fireballs from Asgore and lightning bolts from Alphys shielded me. “Technically, it’s impossible for you to defeat him…” Alphys started, but amended herself almost immediately. “B-but… somehow, I know you can do it!!”

“Thank you, Alphys!!!” I tried to lunge forward and point a finger at her, but the box around my soul kept me from doing much more than a gentle lean.

Flowey looked downright outraged as my HP rose again. 6/20.

“Human,” Asgore’s thrumming voice broke through the swell of music, “for the future of humans and monsters…! You have to stay determined…!”

“I will, Asgore!” I vowed.

Then the room was filled to the brink as monsters from all over the underground began filing in, cheering encouragements. Flowey darted from place to place, but they were unavoidable. Muffet, Shyren, Monster Kid, Greater Dog, Ronnie, Froggits, Whimsuns, Vulkins, Snow Drake, and many more filled the Encounter. The air thundered with their voices as my HP peaked at a full 20/20. Full health. Full room. Full hope.

Flowey gave a grunt of dissatisfaction as his thin voice ripped through the calamity. “NO! Unbelievable!! This can’t be happening…! You… YOU…!”

And then all the sound cut out as if someone had stopped a DVD. Everything went dim except for Flowey’s smiling face.

“I can’t believe you’re all so STUPID.”

Then everything was a whirl of motion. Everyone around me was caught up in a cyclone of sound and light and an all-powerful SUCTION that seemed to be pulling everything and everyone toward it’s core: Flowey.

“ALL OF YOUR SOULS ARE MINE!!!” he declared with a piercing laugh. I threw my hands up over my face to shield myself because everything had become light and wind and blinding motion.

But then…

Then there was nothing. Only darkness around me. An empty room. Empty except for a single figure standing with his back toward me. Even though I had no box around my soul anymore, I couldn’t bring it within myself to move. My feet seemed to have been turned to lead.

The figure twitched. Even though he was small, hardly as tall as Alphys, there was an imperceivable weight to him. Like when your friend is standing at the center of a trampoline and you can feel the tension rippling out to you through your feet.

He twisted his head just a tiny bit. Then flexed his fingers. Then his chest shook in an incredulous, yet unheard laugh.

“Finally.”

His voice was soft, gentle, but it sounded as if it had been unused for years. A child’s voice, but like his form there was a weight to it. “I was so tired of being a flower.”

He turned around. His youthful face, so much like Toriel’s and Asgore’s, split into a smile as he locked his brown, doe-like eyes upon me. “Chara?” he said, voice breaking a tiny bit on the name. “Are you there?” His expression bore into mine. “It’s me, your best friend.”

Then the power I felt inside him flashed and I instinctively threw my hands up in front of my eyes. The small goat boy before me was no longer small, and no longer a boy. Now he seemed much more capable of commanding the power within him. His fur was icy white, except where dark stripes zigzagged by his cheeks. His eyes were black except for his shining pupils. He wore a robe with the pattern of the Delta Rune, like his mother wore, but he also wore shoulder coverings like his father’s. They were linked with a chain that culminated with a heart. It looked like a locket.

ASRIEL DREEMUR. It was as if the entire world was rumbling his name at me, screaming it beneath my feet.

The Fight began.

Checking him showed nothing that I didn’t already know. Infinite attack, infinite defense. Made out of every soul in the underground.

Now it was his turn. Asriel’s first attack was one I had been through once before. One of Toriel’s, with a smattering of fireballs. I dodged easily, but I felt like he was holding back. Just testing his power to see what would happen. He was deciding how to use this power.

Then a smile split his face and the darkness of the Encounter exploded into a rainbow of colors. The entire world around us was gone, flaking off in every direction, matter spinning off and colliding with each other in a dazzling display of destruction.

I forgot that it was my turn for a moment. There was no longer any solid ground beneath my feet. I was hovering in a world filled with motion and color and heat and chill and sound and light.

With nothing better to do, I Spared. My pan fell through the universe. I probably… hmm. I probably shouldn’t have Spared that way. Hopefully it would come back.

Asriel raised his arms. A cavalcade of stars rained down from above, forming themselves out of the drifting matter and magic. They exploded into smaller stars, each one flinging itself outward like a ninja was throwing them. They weren’t too difficult to dodge, but one still hit me. It was hard to focus with so much going on around me. Music was thundering in my ears. I believed this one was called Hopes and Dreams. Or… maybe that was just what Man on the Internet called it.

What now? I wondered as Asriel readied his next attack in anticipation of his turn. I could feel the air around me sizzling. I hastily checked my options. Hope and Dream. Huh. Like the song.

How the heck did I ‘hope’? I closed my eyes, letting a slow breath of air through my teeth. Just thinking ‘I will get through this’ felt more like faith or trust. Saying ‘I want to get through this’ felt like a wish. So I settled for glaring up at Asriel through my eyebrows and murmuring, “I hope I can get through this.”

That must have worked because I felt something like a shield envelop my soul. My DEF stats solidified.

“You know…” Asriel said, his voice soft but somehow making it to me through all the carnage. His voice was split into many tones. I could hear the light tones of his youthful self, but also the harsh grin of Flowey. Beneath it all was a rumbling undertone, much deeper than Asgore’s deep voice. A chorus, a culmination of all his selves. “I don’t care about destroying this world anymore.”

Before I could make a comment about how, well, this world seemed pretty destroyed to me, or even squeak out, “Good!”, he raised his arms. Points of light appeared below me and I danced out of the way just in time. Lightning bolts zapped down to meet the light, which moved to another location. I threw myself out of the way again, but one of the bolts gave me a glancing blow. No matter how quick I thought I was, the light moved quicker. Then they were ENORMOUS. I skirted the edge between two different areas, managing to be hit almost every time.

Somehow I survived. My Starfait seemed infinitely less glamorous than it had before the battle. I gulped it down and shivered. If Hoping didn’t fill my inventory up with goodies, Dreaming must.

“After I defeat you and gain total control over the timeline,” Asriel said, voice smooth as soft butter, “I just want to reset everything.”

He held out his hands and twin swords manifested in them. He moved to the side and sent one of them chopping down at my location. I dodged. Okay, this was MUCH more manageable than the lightning bolts. Even when he brought both of them down at once and they disintegrated into more star attacks they were easier to dodge.

Dreaming. How did you Dream? I shut my eyes tightly and let my mind zone out away from this place. I thought of where I had been. Where I wanted to go. The ending I wanted to achieve.

My inventory felt heavy. My thoughts had manifested into twisting, glowing reality. The Dreams looked something like hard candy and something like glass, so delicate and yet substantial. I gave a sigh of relief. I had some food items now to hold me over. That was good.

“All your progress…” sneered Asriel. “Everyone’s memories. I’ll bring them all back to zero.”

More lightning bolts. It didn’t matter if there were dreams in my pocket. It didn’t matter that I was almost at full HP. I gave a last despairing shriek that was lost in the whirlwind of matter being ripped apart as lightning came crashing down.

I was dead. I could feel every piece of my soul as it shattered into pieces.

But… wait. Something was different this time. There were no more Save Points. There was no fixed point in time that I could come back to. Rules were all broken.

I couldn’t die. I wouldn’t LET myself die. I flexed out to every broken piece of my soul, willing them back together, willing time to go in reverse.

This wouldn’t be the end. I refused.

Even though I’m sure Asriel could have prevented me from rewinding time, or at least what little time had meaning now that everything was falling apart, he didn’t. He said no words he hadn’t said before. Just recommenced the battle. Let it continue on.

I began to learn his attacks. I had learned a while back was that I could start a battle completely calm, calculating each attack and the way it would go, but as soon as I got hit, that façade would get blown out of the water and I’d start panicking. THEN I’d get hit a lot.

Up to this point, I had only died during the Flowey fight. Interesting that Flowey/Asriel would be the key to my demise. Sans’s fight had thrown everything into perspective. Everything else had seemed easy compared to his attacks. But having battles as mind numbingly chaotic as these were throwing me all kinds of curveballs.

Eventually, however, I got into a rhythm. Dream on the first turn to fill up on healing items. Whenever I got low on health, I’d eat a LastDream, which honestly tasted like light and Determination and had the texture of breaking open a thin layer of sugar candy which melts instantly once it hits your mouth. Whenever I wasn’t consuming items, I’d Hope because it increased my DEF. Whenever I got low on LastDreams, I’d Dream again.

As usual, I began to memorize the attack patterns. It was like a dance, really. Go here, don’t go here. Don’t get distracted. Heal up if you see a hard attack coming. But the attacks got more savage as I pressed on. Asriel could see how I was learning and continued to up his game, putting more convoluted actions into his attacks each time.

Even though he repeated attacks, he never repeated lines of dialogue. He’d start speaking whenever I got to an attack I hadn’t gotten to before. I guessed we had all the time in the world, anyway. Or… as much of a world as was left now.

“Then we can do everything ALL over again.

And you know what the best part of all this is? You’ll DO it.

And then you’ll lose to me again.

And again.

And again!!!

Because you want a ‘happy ending’.

Because you ‘never give up’.

Isn’t that delicious? Your ‘determination’. The power that let you get this far… it’s gonna be your downfall!”

Now followed a particularly savage fall of lightning bolts. I barely survived.

Asriel features took on a more sinister leer. He looked a lot like Flowey in that instance. I could see how they were the same. “Now, ENOUGH messing around!” he snapped. “It’s time to purge this timeline once and for all!”

The Encounter Box stretched out to include everything. Asriel disappeared from view as everything was swallowed up.

Then his attack formed. A giant skullish head, almost like a Gaster Blaster, but the head looked more like a goat. My heart nearly stopped as its mouth opened in a booming, heartless laugh. I expected beams of deadly light to come shooting out from its maw at any second. But instead of attacking outward, it began sucking in. I felt it pulling at me like gravity and struggled to stay away. Chunks of the world, baptized and bleached by the Encounter Box, were sucked into that ravenous maw. Bits of the flaking universe whizzed past me at the speed of light. I was hit by a few of them. But I didn’t stop to look around. Just kept going.

Everything was normal again. Or, as close as we could get to ‘normal’ in this weird, rainbow-y landscape filled with bits of the destroyed world with a goat monster in front of me with a scowl as dark as a thundercloud. Yet another sentence that makes absolutely no sense out loud. I promise it was intimidating. Especially since I was at 1 HP again.

“…even after that attack,” Asriel questioned, “you’re still standing in my way…?” He shrugged. I couldn’t tell if his smile was mocking or if he was sincere when he said, “Wow… you really ARE something special. But don’t get cocky. Up until now, I’ve only been using a fraction of my REAL power!”

I may have whimpered. Even I don’t know. Everything was still too chaotic.

“Let’s see what good your DETERMINATION is against THIS!!!”

His form rippled as if I was seeing it through a bowl of water. I could see it stretching to massive proportions even as everything went dark. The rest of the broken world was being absorbed to fuel his might. I could feel a surge of power and I immediately wanted to run away, but all my muscles seized up like I was being held in a giant fist. I was completely unable to move.

Well… this wasn’t good.

The world was black. Asriel was the only thing I could see. He had formed himself anew like an angel of darkness, wings the color of an exploding nebula, spiked armor black as the inky night that surrounded us, form the size of a mountain, curving horns gentle waves of doom. Everything about him was razor-sharp. Even his eyes were piercing as they looked down at me, gloating on my weak and tiny figure.

I tried to move. It was completely futile.

Asriel only laughed at my efforts, his voice losing all of the childlike highness it had kept before. Now it was all subwoofer depth. “Behold my TRUE power!” he roared.

An avalanche of attacks swirled at me like comets. I tried again to wrest myself from the invisible grasp, but it was useless. In a moment my soul was broken to bits. I forced myself to reform, even though I could only turn back time a little.

I struggled again.

“I can feel it…” he rumbled. “Every time you die, your grip on this world slips away. Every time you die, your friends forget you a little more.”

This line had always struck me. I hated the idea of being forgotten. That this could happen… that he was CAUSING this to happen…

“Your life will end here, in a world where no one remembers you…”

…And it seemed so much harsher now. This wasn’t my world. Knowing that he could cause my life to end here away from the family I loved, forgotten by everyone in this world… it was unbearable.

Asriel attacked again. It seemed that upon colossal effort I could wrest my soul out of my chest and send it free from the body. Since the attacks were all magical, they didn’t even scratch my body. My soul weaved about, separate from my physical form. It still hurt just as badly when it was hurt, though. At least I could see a little better from this vantage point.

My turn ended and my red soul was sucked back in with a thump. Even though it was seeming more discouragingly futile by the second, I tried once more to move. If I could at least get to my Inventory and eat something…

“Still, you’re hanging on…?” Asriel demanded. “That’s fine. In a few moments you’ll forget everything too.”

I gritted my teeth shut. At least that motion I could still do. Over my dead body, Asriel. You can’t force me to forget. What do you think you are, Lethe?

“That attitude will serve you well in your next life!”

As if I would Reset and go through this all again. Three times through had already been too much of a hassle as it was. And if he was acting as if I had no choice, I had a few choice words to say about that!

Even so, as my soul separated from my body, I could feel his stiff, invisible fingers holding me ever tighter. It was as they said: stare into the void and sometimes the void stares back. Nothingness engulfed me. It was horrible being the only thing alive here, fighting this terrible monster. I felt cold, like I had in Alphys’s lab with my darkest memories seeping into my mind. Alone. Very, very alone.

His attack ended and I gasped for breath. Had to keep fighting. Had to keep…

“Still!?” Asriel sounded highly amused. “Come on… show me what good your DETERMINATION is now!”

His attack closed in once more. I don’t even remember when it ended. I had a sense of desperation coursing through my blood the entire time. I was struggling. I was fighting. Asriel was letting it happen with the calm earnestness that a child watched a stick being swept downstream.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move. Nothing was happening. I had no control over anything.

My last Save… could I get to it?

Please…

No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t reload.

Again. I had to try again. I couldn’t stop fighting.

I tried to Save right where I was, just to see if I could. Still nothing happened.

But… Saving. What was Saving, exactly? My brain goes off on weird tangents sometimes, usually when it’s been overworked or stressed. It was both of these things now. Saving was fixing something in a point of time. Like… taking a picture. No, it was like writing a story. I knew what that was like. I was a writer! Saving at a Save Point was like fixing a part of yourself in one point in time. A point that could be revisited, like erasing words in a document and starting back at the beginning of a chapter. But I couldn’t do that. Not anymore.

At least… not for myself, anyway.

If I hadn’t seen that it could be done, I wouldn’t even have attempted it. As it was, all my Determination culminated in that moment and I stared Asriel in the face.

I stared into Asriel’s soul.

Chapter Text

Chapter 39

Asriel had no ONE soul. He had a million of them, as numerous as bees covering a honeycomb. I could feel the six human souls around the perimeter like guardians of the thousands. I was a mere projection of myself as I entered into the chaos. Like a story inside of a story. Whether the human souls recognized me and let me pass or whether Asriel truly didn’t know what I was doing, I don’t know, but I entered with utmost ease into the buzzing hive of monster souls.

Within that buzzing hive I could feel them. Six souls of those who I knew – those who knew me. They were resonating like ripples in the water. I could feel them. Each of them. They were here!

I approached the first pair – those who had been Asgore and Toriel. In all the playthroughs I had seen (which, granted, weren’t much) everyone always went for Toriel first. I had thought in my playthrough that you could only save one, and so even though it pained me I set my sights on Toriel. Thank goodness it didn’t come to that, and that I could save all the others, but let it be known that if I could only save one, I would save Toriel.

They were lost souls, both of them. A mix of matter and magic, darting in and out, losing pieces of themselves, a tangled mass of thought and emotion. I could hear them as I approached and their memories broke against me. They were in pieces. Their forms, their thoughts. Everything. Scattered.

She had clung to the memory of our confrontation, as had he. Her firm resolve was tainted with sorrow. He was basking in his guilt.

I had known Toriel for longer. I chose to use my Action on her. I told her I didn’t want to fight her. I threw away my weapon. In a memory of hers, a stick rattled against the ground as I cast it aside.

But she stuck to her resolve. She must not let me pass. It was for my own good. Asgore, to her left, whispered a plea for forgiveness.

They began to attack, their fireballs falling with familiar rapidity. Not one touched me.

I latched onto a memory that floated past. I was collecting them all, helping them to remember. I preferred cinnamon over butterscotch, but I wouldn’t turn up my nose at butterscotch if I found it on my plate.

She didn’t want anyone to leave again. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt. His duty was to free his people. No matter his personal desires, he had to stick to his duties.

Another familiar attack. Did they remember this? Did they know we had gone through this all before?

My inventory. The pie was still in there. I dug it out and began eating it, recalling how Asgore’s eyes had filled with shock when he had smelled its aroma during our battle. Toriel and Asgore began to shake, memories and matter came flooding back in, gathered with twice the rapidity that they had before. Soon their forms were clear and I could see them as they should be. Unharmed. Whole.

They gathered me in and I stretched my arms out as wide as I possibly could, trying to hold them both. “Your fate is up to you, now!” Toriel assured.

“You are our future,” Asgore seconded.

I didn’t know whether they knew exactly what was going on, or what I was doing, but I assured them as best as I could. I Saved them like I would at a Save Point, collecting their entire being into a single piece of time. They couldn’t be touched. They couldn’t be harmed. If they were, they would just go back to being in that unharmed state.

I had Saved them.

Out I went again, back in front of Asriel. It seemed he knew what I was doing, but made no motion to stop me. After all, what were a few souls among so many? I couldn’t possibly Save them all, so why bother?

I would SHOW him why bother, I thought savagely as I dove back into his soul again. I would show him what a few souls difference would make. It would make all the difference in the world to me.

Alphys’s soul shimmered like a shining star. I made it my beacon and headed toward her. She was more fragmented than either Toriel or Asgore, each memory a chaotic, frightened sliver of her personality too anxious to slow down. Her thoughts were all wailing, crying, and yet submissive as I approached close enough to feel them.

My phone… the phone she had upgraded for me. I pulled it out. Called her over it. Who cared that I didn’t actually have her number? Everything existed in speculation and fragmenting matter now. A few memories sparked and floated back to her and I could see her nervousness spike. Oh yes. She remembered the dreaded phone calls.

But no… not like I actually wanted to talk to her. I hated her, of course I hated her. Everyone did, because she was weak, a failure, a horrific excuse for a scientist and a person. How could anyone ever manage to like her, even if they tried?

Such were the remorseful thoughts I felt emanating off of her as her attacks began. A collection of Mettaton-shaped gadgets came hurtling from above. My phone was already out. My soul turned yellow and I began attacking them back, throwing in a couple snazzy dance moves to try and pique another memory for Alphys to recollect.

I asked Alphys if she was still down to watch Mew Mew Kissy Cutie later. She collected more of herself, trying to restrain from giving me an entire synopsis.

But no. No, no, no, she had to keep lying. She had to keep lying so that people would like her. If she didn’t keep up the façade… if she let herself slip…

More of Mettaton’s gizmos. I dodged them, shooting the bombs then ducking out of sight before their beams hit me. Then I told Alphys how cute she looked in her dress and asked her to come with me to the junkyard.

That was the final one. All the rest of her scattered thoughts came flooding back. She shook her head as the rest of her magic came back to her.

“No, that’s not true!” she exclaimed, her hands clutching at her dress in her typical anxious manner. “My friends like me! And I like you, too!”

I laughed in victory, Saving her as well. There. She couldn’t be harmed anymore or torn apart by savage memories. Saved.

Sans and Papyrus were standing close together. As I came up to them, their emotions hit me with the force of a one-two punch to the face. Much, MUCH stronger than the others.

From one figure welled the feeling of complete and utter defeat. Hopelessness such as I have never known burned around him, a weight like the weight of worlds nearly dragged him down to the ground. He could hardly keep standing. What was the point? What was the point of anything? There was no point, that was the truth.

Contrary to the first figure, the second was full of nervous energy. Stop? No, no, he couldn’t stop. Not for a moment. Not even for a second. Had to keep going. Couldn’t stop to be tired. Everything had to be done. Must be done. Couldn’t not be done. Or else… or else… he couldn’t bear to think what would happen if not. What depths were below him he couldn’t tell. He had to keep going.

These emotions socked me so hard I was almost overwhelmed. They were so opposite, and yet somehow understandable in their own way. But I couldn’t succumb to them, not while I could help. So I stepped right up to Papyrus, trying not to be swayed by the chaos of his current state, and asked him if he had any puzzles for me. A few memories clicked into place, but he whirled on me. I was a human. He must capture me. He had to – he had set his mind on it, so it must happen. It had to. He would make it happen. He was like a swimmer paddling over unseen waters. If he stopped swimming he would stop floating. If he stopped floating he would sink into the depths below. So he had to keep… had to keep going. Had to.

And then, like a vile toxin, I felt the lethargic apathy seep over from Sans. He had already stopped swimming. There was no land in sight. He was floating, but soon he would sink. There was no land in sight. Nobody to come. Nobody to see or know where he was. And even if he did sink, he would just bob right to the surface again. There was no point. Not for him. Not for me.

At first I thought that he had affected me because I felt myself getting heavier, but it was just their blue magic. Papyrus began to throw attacks at me. He had to. He HAD to bring me down. It was his only way to get into the royal guard. Sans stood still, head bowed. No point of attacking. No point at all.

I began to dodge, caught somewhere between not trying and trying too hard. The whirl of Papyrus’s nearby thoughts filled me with an anxious energy, but I tried my best to calm myself. I was here to save them, not to be overcome by them. I had to stay focused.

As their turn ended, I rushed forward, putting Papyrus’s hand to my chest. My heartbeat. Could he feel it? Again, new memories clicked. Even Sans, still drowning, saw me smiling at his brother. Saw me looking at him. A few of his scattered memories came back too.

But no. Why even try? Why should any of this matter in the long run? He had given up a long time ago. Now was just a slow wait for the inevitable. It would come. Maybe. Or maybe he was just stuck. Forever.

Papyrus wasn’t giving up. Not now. Not ever. He had to keep going. Had to see it through to the end. If there even was an end. He wasn’t sure. He hoped there was. But until he was sure, he had to keep going. Everyone had to see. He would be the best. He HAD to be the best. He wouldn’t stand for less. He couldn’t be less than that.

Smaller bones, crisscrossing in front of each other. I jumped over them easily. It was harder to stay focused than I thought.

My next Action went to Sans. I told him that I thought his brother was a BONE-ified genius.

It felt like Asriel was consuming the world again by the amount of memories and matter that came flying back into place with just the small addition of a pun. Sans’s gloom lifted as his form came back into being and he smiled, standing up just a little straighter. “nah,” he said, shaking off the last of his lethargy. “i’m rootin’ for ya, kid.” And I could tell that he meant it.

Papyrus, on the other hand, calmed somewhat. His anxious, prattling thoughts slowed to a reasonable rate and his eyesockets fixed on me. He bounded forward to grasp me by the arms. “NO! WAIT!! YOU’RE MY FRIEND!” he shouted, pulling me in for a quick hug. “I COULD NEVER CAPTURE YOU!!”

I couldn’t stop smiling. Right here in this moment, trusting in me. That’s where I Saved them.

Finally, Undyne.

Like Alphys’s and Papyrus’s souls, Undyne’s was awhirl. But instead of fear and anxiety, her memories were alight with anger and purpose. Like Papyrus, she had a goal to fulfill. But she knew where her path lay. She would take it, no matter the cost. No matter who or what stood in her way. She knew what was right. She was the spear of justice for all monsterkind. There was not a single doubt in her mind.

I told her about a new spaghetti recipe I had found, but suggested that this time we avoided burning down her house. Undyne stiffened as a few memories tried to connect. She hardly let them, so intent was she on her goal. All humans had to die. It was the way it must be. She knew it. She wouldn’t let anyone tell her otherwise!

A spear was in my hand. I used it to block her oncoming attacks. Forward. Right. Left. Forward again.

I told her that I wanted to be friends, but Papyrus thought she wasn’t up to the challenge. She shook in righteous indignation, memories snapping left and right. But she forced them aside. She had to take my soul. HAD to. I was the enemy. She was the hero.

More spears incoming from every direction. I got hit once. Kept fighting.

I gave her a fake hit, because I really didn’t want to hurt her. Her hairless brows creased. She was finally trying to remember. Then everything came rushing back.

Undyne stood before me, whole once more. “Well, some humans are OK,” she teased, thumping me a little too hard on the upper bicep. Her smile nearly covered her entire face. I Saved her just like that. Asriel couldn’t do anything more to her.

I came back out to Asriel. My friends were safe. That’s what mattered. But as I stood before him I was distracted by another feeling. Like a soul, except deeper. Far, far deeper within than any of the churning souls he held within him. His very core held something deep inside.

Someone else I had a connection to.

Someone else I could Save.

I realized who that last person was. That resonation that clung so close to my own soul… I knew who was deep inside.

“Asriel,” I called. I felt as if I was calling one of my younger sisters.

“Huh?” I almost didn’t expect that voice to come from up above. For a moment I had forgotten that the outer Asriel was still here with me. “What are you doing…!?”

I probed deeper.

I was inside his soul. His TRUE soul of souls – the deepest part of his being. Maybe not an actual soul like the others had, but a true culmination of his being, like he had told me so long ago. I couldn’t tell if the memory was his or mine, but I could feel it wiggle free. A bright gem in this darkness.

A child lying on the hard earth inside Mt. Ebott. I could feel as if from their perspective all the sore spots from their landing. How they twisted their head sideways, unable to rise. But I could also see from outside their body, through the eyes of a little scared goat boy as he tiptoed closer. A melody began to ring in my mind – the same one that had played by the Waterfall Statue. The same one that had played when Asgore looked into my eyes and asked me to be part of his family.

I could feel it as the child’s hands pressed up against the earth. As they stared into the face of the tiny goat monster. Wrapped their arm over his shoulder. As he supported them out of the room.

Many more memories, hidden deep within Asriel’s forgotten core, sparked briefly. Happy ones locked away with a kiss for good luck. A family picture being taken. He was laughing, but they were hiding their head in a bouquet of flowers. The picture was taken but they never brought their head up. Still, it was a happy memory. For both of us.

I looked up at Asriel as if I had never seen him before. I could see all parts of him there – the innocent younger child he had been, the soulless flower, and the all-powerful god he had become. They were all here before me. I could Save him.

I could feel all the souls inside Asriel reverberating. The six I had Saved were alive and whole and they were backing me up every step of the way. I wasn’t alone anymore. And I was filled with Determination.

As if I held my hand over a Save Point, I stretched my hand out to Asriel Dreemur.

Save.

“Wh… what did you do…?” Asriel demanded. I could hear it again, those discordant voices of his former lives mixed in with the harsh booming tones of his current self. “What’s this feeling…? What’s happening to me?”

I focused on the youngest voice. His youngest self.

“No! NO! I don’t need ANYONE!”

A torrent of attacks came at me as he opened wide his arms. Some struck me. Some didn’t.

Save.

“Stop it!” he cried/shrieked/growled. “Get away from me! Do you hear me!? I’ll tear you apart!”

More attacks came, but they weren’t as hard. They weren’t as many.

Save.

His eyes were downcast. I could feel him like I could feel the other lost souls. He felt lost, just like them. But he wouldn’t call out. He knew, like he had been taught all those times before. Nobody comes.

“Chara…” he whispered. I could hear Flowey’s voice predominant. “Do you know why I’m doing this…? Why I keep fighting to keep you around…?”

Fireballs began to fall like snowflakes. They drifted around me. Not a one came close. They avoided me.

Save.

“I’m doing this… because you’re special, Chara. You’re the only one that understands me.”

All three voices rose, but the youngest was quietest.

“You’re the only one who’s any fun to play with anymore.”

Still the fireballs wouldn’t hit me.

Save.

He looked down again. “No… that’s not just it,” he admitted. “I… I… I’m doing this because I care about you, Chara! I care about you more than anybody else!”

He had tears in his eyes. Those massive eyes of his, so much higher above me. His giant hands were clenched. Flowey and his youngest self synced. There was almost none of the god left in his voice. More fireballs, and now his hands were loose by his sides.

Save.

“I’m not ready for this to end,” he whispered, and his voice was Flowey again. “I’m not ready for you to leave. I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again…”

More fireballs. I didn’t know how to feel. Was I sorry for him? Did I really want this to end?

Save.

Asriel’s mouth opened in a howl of fury. “So, please… STOP doing this… AND JUST LET ME WIN!!!”

I could see the teardrops in the corners of his eyes reflect the attack he was summoning. I tried to move backwards, but there was nowhere to go. The attack took up the entire box.

My body was alight. I could feel scorching heat like I had never felt before. Pain like a thousand swords piercing my chest. But even though my HP flew downward, my resolve skyrocketed up. I felt more alive than I ever had in any lifetime. I was a firecracker being burned with the heat of a thousand matches. I was an explosion and the fire was my trigger.

Asriel was screaming at me. He was willing me to die. But I would not. It was against every fiber of my being to give up now. My HP should have dried up a long time ago, but I was still living. There were no thoughts in my head except for a dead resolve to survive. To outlast. To live.

It stopped. Somehow, against all odds, I was hanging on by a single thread. I was… so tired… but… I had to…

Save.

“Chara…” Asriel whispered. I could barely hear him through the ringing in my ears.

Save.

“I’m so alone, Chara…”

Save.

“I’m so afraid, Chara…”

Save.

“Chara, I…”

I could hardly see him. My vision was blurry. It seemed as if he was fading away into nothingness.

Save.

“I…”

Everything went white. Horribly white.

And then I was standing again. The world was back to black. I could feel ground beneath my feet. I didn’t think I was in an Encounter anymore. Actually, I wasn’t sure if I was LIVING anymore. Who knew what sense of reality I was in now?

All I knew was that Asriel – little bitty goat boy Asriel – was standing before me, and he was crying. “I’m so sorry,” he was saying. He wiped at his eyes and looked at me with tearstained expression. “I always was a crybaby, wasn’t I, Chara?”

My mouth opened. “I’m not ac…”

“…I know,” he interrupted, clutching his arms around himself as if to keep out the chill. “You’re not actually Chara, are you?”

The gust of air I blew out my nose could hardly be called a laugh. I shook my head. “No.”

“Chara’s been gone a long time.”

I could see the heartache in his eyes at these words. The pain was no longer fresh, but it still hurt. He bit his lip. Looked up at me. “Um… what…” he pressed his paws together. His eyes were still damp. “What IS your name?”

I smiled just the tiniest bit. Finally someone had asked. “Emily,” I answered. “Nice to meet you.”

Asriel mulled it over. “’Emily’?” He said it like a question, then took another moment to think it over again. “That’s…” His shy little smile was like a ray of sunshine. “A nice name.”

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. I should have gotten used to people trying to kill me one moment and making friends the next. It was still weird, though, especially since this person’s alter ego was a homicidal flower who killed without remorse.

He drank me in for a moment, saying nothing. “Emily…” he said at last. “I haven’t felt like this for a long time. As a flower, I was soulless. I lacked the power to love other people. However… with everyone’s souls inside me… I not only have my own compassion back…” he gripped a fist to his chest, “but I can feel every other monster’s as well. They all care about each other so much. And…” he locked eyes with me, “they care about you too, Emily.”

I turned my head aside, biting the inside of my cheek. I couldn’t see Asriel’s expression, but I heard him say, “I wish I could tell you how everyone feels about you. Papyrus… Sans… Undyne… Alphys…” He paused, and it sounded hard for him to get the next name out. “…Toriel.” He gave a short laugh. “Monsters are weird. Even though they barely know you it feels like they all really love you.”

Why did it feel weird to hear him say that? Why did it hurt? Why did I want to reject his words? As he laughed, I simply smiled and nodded, trying to cast it off as a light thing. It was heavy, though. Heavier than he knew.

But then Asriel’s smile caved in. His expression crumbled and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Emily… I… I understand if you can’t forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I acted so strange and horrible.”

But so did I, once upon a time.

“I hurt you.” His eyes opened and they held tears again. “I hurt so many people. Friends, family, bystanders…”

So did I.

“There’s no excuse for what I’ve done.”

I couldn’t argue. But even so, even if I had been completely innocent, I couldn’t let Asriel stay unforgiven.

“I forgive you.”

My voice sounded high in this timeless abyss. But Asriel didn’t seem to notice. He looked… stunned.

“Wh… what?” he whispered. He shook his head with a smile. “…Emily, come on.”

“I mean it,” I said. “I absolutely, one hundred percent forgive you.” I had said it a little too forcefully. I was running high on emotion. I diluted my tone and tried again. “I mean it. Really.”

Asriel sniffled. “You’re… you’re gonna make me cry again.”

I suppressed a laugh.

“Besides,” he continued, “even if you do forgive me… I can’t keep these souls inside of me.”

I made a noise in agreement.

“The least I can do is return them. But first…” and here he gave a smile. A sparkle grew in his eye. For the first time he looked as if he wasn’t broken. Like he still had spirit. “There’s something I have to do. Right now I can feel everyone’s hearts beating as one. They’re all burning with the same desire. With everyone’s power… with everyone’s determination…”

“Do itttt,” I goaded, a similar spark coming into my own soul.

Asriel’s smile became even wider. “It’s time for monsters to finally go free.”

“Yes!” I punched a fist downward.

Asriel’s expression became solemn. He closed his eyes. Raising his arms, he was borne aloft. Music thundered from everywhere and his mouth opened in soundless words of command. All the power I felt within him came flooding out. All the souls he contained rushed forth in a chaotic torrent, the six human souls circled Asriel’s figure as countless gray souls whirled around and around. Even though I was sure we existed in a space beyond the physical realm, I could feel everything being set right. The world was returned to its original state. Everything put back in its place. All the souls were being used. Not drained. Their power was used like a force beyond comprehension, beating straight at the barrier. All of its immense power was no match for this.

I felt it crack. Break. Shatter.

The barrier was destroyed.

Then the colossal power surge was gone. All the souls, too. Gone. Asriel floated back down to touch the ground, light as a feather. Even though his appearance was still the same, he looked old. Tired. Worn. But he smiled as he looked at me once more.

“Emily…” he said. “I have to go now.”

“Do you really?” I pleaded.

He gave a short laugh. “Yes. Without the power of everyone’s souls… I can’t keep maintaining this form.” His smile faded. “In a little while… I’ll turn back into a flower.”

I knew it had to happen. It just hurt to have him say it, now that I saw him like this.

“I’ll stop being ‘myself’.” His voice was breaking. I could hear desperation in his voice. “I’ll stop being able to feel love again.” But he got a hold of himself, clasping his arms around his body again. “So… Emily. It’s best if you just forget about me, OK? Just go be with the people who love you.”

“No way!” I exclaimed, feeling a tremor in my voice. I marched forward to hold him by the shoulders. He was a head shorter than me. I tipped his chin up so he looked right into my eyes. “You are NOT being forgotten,” I insisted. “Not by me. Not ever.”

And I hugged him. I held him tight like I would never let him go. He settled his head on my arm, gripping me around the waist, squeezing his eyes shut. I leaned my chin on the top of his head, petting his soft fur.

He laughed, each breath like a sob. “I don’t want to let go…” he whispered.

“Then don’t,” I whispered back. “Let’s just stay here for a bit, okay?”

“OK.”

But he let go eventually. When I felt him draw away, I let go as well. I wanted to keep comforting him. To tell him that things would be okay. But I had no words. No words at all.

“Emily…” he said. “You’re… you’re going to do a good job, OK?”

“Okay,” I said. To what he was referring, I couldn’t tell. But I appreciated the words nonetheless.

“No matter what you do. Everyone will be there for you.”

“You sure?” Now I was the one asking for some confidence.

He smiled. Again, it was like a ray of sunshine in a dark place. “I’m sure.”

But then he turned aside. He looked into the darkness. “Well… my time’s running out.”

“Already?” I asked. I almost stepped forward to stop him. To plead with him. Anything to keep him from going.

I had saved everyone else. Everyone else got their happy endings. Why not him? Why did he need to go back to being a flower? Everything in me screamed how unfair it was.

Asriel saw my distraught expression, but he only smiled. “Goodbye.”

He began to walk away. All the words I could have said lodged themselves in my throat.

But he stopped. Twisted his head around to look at me one last time. “By the way… Emily.” he said.

“Yeah?”

“…Take care of Mom and Dad for me, OK?”

I gave him a thumbs-up. “Okay,” I promised.

Satisfied, he turned away again. Suddenly I felt all the exhaustion my body had been shielding from me. Every complaint suddenly came up and I swayed on my feet. My mind grew fuzzy and my eyesight grew dim. Everything seemed to be growing brighter. Or darker. I couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, I was soon lost. I was asleep. Blacked out.

I heard words. My name being called. “Emily! This is all just a bad dream…! Please, wake up…!”

Was I asleep? Or was I dead? No… death didn’t feel like this. I was all too familiar with death. This wasn’t it. I must be asleep.

Oh well, if I was asleep, I guessed I could wake up. Here goes.

I opened my eyes. Six familiar faces suddenly brightened around me and there was instantly a clamor. Undyne held a hand to my back and helped me to sit up as Toriel exclaimed, “Oh! You are awake! Thank goodness!”

I was at 20/20 HP again. Thank heavens for that.

“W-we were so worried…!” Alphys gasped. “It felt like you were out forever!”

“Yeah! Any longer and I would have freaked out!” Undyne shouted, clapping me heartily on the back and almost knocking me flat again. “Tell us next time you decide to take a nap, okay!?”

I agreed, trying to get breath back in my lungs again.

“yeah.” Sans cocked his head toward his brother. “you made papyrus cry like a baby.”

Papyrus jumped guiltily. “WHAT!! I DIDN’T CRY!!! I DON’T CRY!! I JUST… CAUGHT SOMETHING IN MY EYE.”

Sans looked at him quizzically. “what did you catch?”

Papyrus’s pretense was gone in a second. “TEARS!!!” he bawled lustily.

“Aw,” I laughed, struggling to get to my feet.

“Now, now,” Asgore soothed. “The important part is that Emily is all right. Here, Emily.” He offered me a cup. “Why not drink some tea? It’ll make you feel better.”

But Toriel butted in before I could accept. “How about we give her some space, first? She must be very exhausted.”

“Yeah, a bit,” I agreed, swaying on the spot. I blinked a few times to clear the spots from my eyes.

“Though, from what, I am not certain,” Toriel added. “Emily… we do not remember exactly what happened.”

“No?” I asked.

Toriel shook her head from side to side. “There was a flower… and then everything went white.”

The others nodded along to her words. Apparently they had had the same experience.

“But now the barrier is gone,” she finished. “When you are ready, we will all return to the surface. It seems the door to the east will lead us there now.”

“Oh, yeah!” I said. My mind returned immediately to Asriel. Even though I had never done it in my own playthrough, I knew I could see him one more time if I went back to the Ruins. Right now there was nothing I wanted more. “Um…”

“But before then…” Toriel added, sensing my dilemma, “perhaps you might want to take a walk? You can say goodbye to all your wonderful friends.”

“Yes please!” I accepted thankfully.

Toriel smiled. “Do as you wish. We will all wait for you here.”

“Okay, it could take a while,” I warned.

“NOT TO WORRY, EMILY!!!” Papyrus cried. I cannot tell you how good it was to hear him say my name. I smiled a bit just hearing it. “WE WILL AMUSE OURSELVES IN ALL WAYS UNTIL YOU MAKE YOUR RETURN! WE HAVE WAITED THIS LONG. A LITTLE LONGER WILL NOT HURT!”

“Well, okay then. I’ll be back in a bit!” I gave a wave and headed out to the throne room.

“wait up, kiddo.”

I stopped. Sans joined me in the flowerpatch by the king’s throne. “jeez, you really move fast when you put your mind to something, huh?”

“Wassup, Sans?” I asked.

He gave a shrug. “i know where you need to go. and, uh, i just so happen to have a shortcut to take you right there. howzabout it?”

“Really?” I asked, eyebrows lifting. But I shrugged with a grin. “Okay! Thanks!”

“no problem. right this way.”

I followed him out of the room. Everything faded out to black. When it faded back in, however, I was not in the area I thought I would be. Instead of dusty, purple-gray walls, I stood in an ice cavern. Patches of mushrooms dotted the floor, giving the room an otherworldly glow. Wait a second… I knew this place! We were back in Snowdin!

“Uh…” I said, pointing a finger at my surroundings, circling around to the giant door that took up an entire wall. “This… isn’t where I wanted to go.”

“no?” Sans looked around. He didn’t look concerned. “well, i did say i would get you were you NEEDED to go, not where you WANTED to go, right?”

“Um…?”

Sans started walking toward the exit of the cavern.

“But… this door doesn’t open!” I yelped after him.

“have you tried knocking?” he called back, still walking.

“No, but…” But it didn’t open until you did a no-hit run on the credits at the end. I had seen Merg do it. “It doesn’t work like that!!!”

He was gone.

I turned to the door with a huff. Why the heck had he brought me HERE of all places? Even for Sans this seemed odd. There wasn’t any kind of punchline to this joke. It wasn’t mean. It wasn't clever in any respect. It was just… weird. Of all places… here?

I stared up at the door as if expecting it to just swing open on its own accord. Giving an annoyed shrug of the shoulders, I decided to do what he suggested and knock out of spite. I thumped my hand down twice on the stiff wood.

And the door opened.

I jumped backwards as it slipped downward into the ground like a vertical sliding door made of wood. I looked behind me as if expecting Sans to be standing there, laughing. He wasn’t.

What the hecky was going on???

I slipped inside the room.

Dead ahead was the Annoying Dog, sleeping on a comfy-looking teal blanket with many holes. He didn’t move as I advanced. A copy of the game Undertale stood in the leftmost corner of the room. A coil of rope was thrown haphazardly on the floor. A jigsaw puzzle sat nearby, incomplete. A second dog, which seemed to be a statue of some kind, was placed on the left side of the door, but I hardly noticed any of this. My eyes were fixed on the far-right corner of the room. Something different was there.

Normally, if memory served from when I looked this room up online, there should just be a computer. Not this time. Sure, the computer was still there, but instead of it being empty and unavailable there was someone sitting at it. A girl, or rather a young woman, typing busily. As I entered, she spun the chair around to face me, holding her hands up in a placating gesture.

She had brown hair down to her shoulders. Her dark, thick eyebrows were raised behind brown, tortoiseshell glasses, and she wore a hesitant smile. No makeup. Sparkling brown eyes. Small gap between her two front teeth.

“Please don’t freak out,” she said.

Good Lord almighty.

That girl was ME.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40

I was frozen in place, staring at my doppleganger. She observed me tentatively, her head swaying as she gauged my expression. “Ya okay…?” she asked, a grin twitching the corner of her mouth. “I understand this is a little weird…”

“Yeah, you could say that,” I agreed, my voice a shrill squeak. “I mean, I’ve gone through a lot of weird things already today, but this…” I huffed a laugh. “This is somethin’ different.”

“Yeah, I getcha.” She nodded to a chair I hadn’t noticed before. “You want a seat?”

I took a step forward, but I was still too cautious to take her up on her offer. “Okay, this might be a little weird to ask, but who exactly ARE you?”

She quirked her eyebrows with a grin. I could practically hear her cogs whirring, trying to decide how much snark she wanted to use. But she ultimately discarded the idea. “You’re worried that I am the one who introduced herself as your ‘curiosity’ during the Genocide Route, right?” she asked.

“Yup.”

“Well, rest assured, I am not she.”

This gal acted like a laid-back version of myself. One who knew whose company she sat in and was comfortable with the words she spoke. A mite silly, perhaps, but comfortable. She sat back, pulling her feet up into the chair. “Lemme give you a hint: this room is the creator’s space. Toby Fox is sitting right there.” She gestured to the Annoying Dog. “And here am I as well. So. What does that make me?” And she waited for me to connect the dots.

They came pretty quickly. I slammed my foot down and turned in an exasperated circle. “I AM in a fanfiction!” I exclaimed.

“Yes! You got it!” She exclaimed, looking just as excited. She leaned forward. “So who am I?” Her eyes twinkled. I could see why my sisters said I get anime sparkles in my eyes when I get excited.

“PastSelf?” I asked.

She looked, if possible, even more excited. “Bingo!!! Although, that’s PastSelf22 on some platforms.” She gave a meaningful nod, but I wasn’t sure who to.

“Wait,” I puzzled it out a little farther. “So… this is like a self-insert fanfiction.”

“Yup,” PastSelf replied.

“Huh.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. “Okay.”

“Surprised I got this far?” she asked.

“A… a little.” I agreed. Most of my self-insert attempts hadn’t gotten beyond the first scene. I had tried before. They were HARD. NONE of them had ever been published.

Wait…

“Is this on fanfiction-dot-net?” I asked.

“Uh…” She gave a shrug. “It’s actually on Archive of our Own. I made an account there because you can change the fonts around. It’s a LOT of hassle, but I can do it! It works… okay, I guess? I mean, it kind of works? But only for people who have that skin installed on AO3. But for people who DON’T have it installed (and I don’t have any clue how many there are out there who are reading it like that (feel free to leave a comment and let me know, okay guys?)) it just looks… weird. It doesn’t do a font change at ALL for Papyrus, and for Sans it gives him a really curly cursive script kind of a font. Like… what kind of an AU is that?? Posh!Sans or something??” She slapped her legs with an irritated sigh before letting out a chagrinned chuckle. “Sorry, I’m just… I’m really irritated about it, but I’ve gone too far now!”

“Huh.” I REALLY didn’t know what to think of this. I was in a published fanfiction. Out there. In Internet World. There were some parts of my adventure I kinda didn’t want people to know about. But… here I was. What a weirdness.

“Anyway… I even tried to get money off of this story at one point,” she continued. “I straight-up CONTACTED one of the associates who work on his merch. But they said that unofficial written works can’t be commissioned. Art can, but stories can’t. They were really nice about it, but…” here she shrugged. “No monies. How come?” This question was cooed toward the sleeping dog. “Am I not good enough for you, Toby? Am I not good enough for youuu?”

The dog continued sleeping. Pastself gave up and turned back to me again.

“Okay,” PastSelf said. “You’ve got a lot of questions and a lot to think about. How about you sit down and we can talk it over.”

“Okay,” I agreed, sitting down on the spinning desk chair opposite hers.

“AND,” she added, holding a finger up, that casual spark of intrigue in her eye, “since I am partial creator of this world, and since I’m already doing a MASSIVE fourth-wall break as it is, and SINCE there are virtually no rules in this place because so sayeth the me… I have no qualms about offering you the best cup of chai tea you have ever had in your entire life. Howzabout it?”

“I would love that.”

“Coolness!” She turned around and when she turned back she had two identical mugs in her hands. Big ones. Duplicates of the Winnie the Pooh mugs we had in my cupboard back home. I took one from her. I warmed my hands on it for a second or two, enjoying the scent drifting up from the mug. Warm cardamom, cayenne, and many other spices I didn’t know the names of. I took a sip.

“Whooo,” I gasped, licking the flavor from my lips. “WOW that is good!”

“I know, right?” PastSelf took a sip from her own. Her glasses steamed up a little bit as the warmth hit them.

Now that I was looking at her, she looked EXACTLY like I pictured myself. Not my ideal self, mind you, but the self that I pictured if someone were to tell me to think of how I looked in the mirror. That was PastSelf. No makeup, so I could see some acne. She wore a yellow v-neck under a jean jacket and jeggings that matched. Boots, but she had kicked them off. They sat under the computer. White socks. Hair loose about her shoulders. Glasses.

It was weird seeing myself as somebody else. It was hard not to stare. My brain kept doing the thing where it goes ‘hey, you know that person!’ and then it suddenly re-recognized he face as my own and got jumpscared. I looked away. The computer screen near me displayed a wall of text. More was appearing as I stared. I wasn’t quite sure what it was saying, but PastSelf started talking before I could look at it closer.

“So… just so we’re clear,” she said, licking the tea from her lips and cupping her hands around her cup for warmth, “what… part of your life are you in right now? What year is it?”

“It’s… 2019,” I answered, still not entirely comfortable with this situation but willing to play along for now. This might be the weirdest part of my life thus far, but it wasn’t inherently perilous yet. “I’m nineteen years old, at least for a month or so… and… uh, yeah!”

“2019?” she asked with wide eyes and an even wider smile. “Whoo… honey you in for a RIDE with 2020! Yee…” She bared her teeth in a cringe.

“What’s happening in 2020?”

“Everything. Everything’s happening in 2020. But! Not just to you,” she clarified. “Everything’s a bit crazy in 2020. I can’t give you details because future knowledge and everything, so, just… be prepared for weirdness. Okay?”

“Noted.” I nodded, feeling a tad concerned. “But… so… are…” I took a second to rephrase as PastSelf took another sluck of tea. “You must be from my future. Right?”

She gave a sideways nod. “Kind of ironic because I called myself PastSelf, right? Yeah, I’m from your future. Although, I can’t pinpoint exactly when. That’s kind of the point of this form. I exist in… ANY time I want to after your point right now. A different timeline and everything since I’m the author and you’re the creation if we’re talking technicalities. So, right now I’m typing this first draft on Easter 2021.”

“2021!?” I exclaimed.

“But I’m also in the act of publishing it on December 9^th of the same year.”

My eyes opened even wider, but she raised her hand defensively before I could mention the time gap. “It took a LONG time to write, okay??? If you’re looking at this in a Word Document we’re on page 282.”

“WHAT!?!” That was MASSIVE!

“Yeah, well. Changing the fonts stretches it out a bit. And this chapter is a long one, so hang in there, guys! But, anyway, I first started thinking about this story concept about a year ago (your time). So I’m there right now. BUT I’m also editing this later. Or reliving it in my brain. I am at SO many different times in my timeline right now—"

I was listening, nodding, and my eyes drifted over to the monitor. The line of words, which were still appearing, clarified and I squinted at them. I stared in surprise as I recognized that they were describing what was going on in the room right now. As I looked over I read it writing out:

I stared in surprise as I recognized that they were describing what was going on in the room right now. As I looked over I read it writing out:

I stared in surprise as I recognized that they were—

Okay, if this kept up I would just keep everything in the screen on an endless loop forever, I thought. This showed up on the screen on those exact words. I immediately began censoring my thoughts to hide whatever the screen might disclose. But what even would I think of that I would want to hi--… oh. No, I knew what I wanted to censor. But that meant that it would be showing on the screen right now!

Thankfully it just showed my moral conundrum and left my thoughts up to the audience’s imagination. Thank goodness. Not that I was thinking dirty thoughts or anything like that! Just… private.

I suddenly tuned back in to what PastSelf was saying. “Watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon…” she droned. Her eyes snapped back to meet mine and she grinned. “Oh hey! You back with me now?”

“Uh, yup. Sorry. Just…” I motioned to the screen.

“Got distracted?” she nodded. “Yeah, I getcha. How’s this?” She waved a hand at the screen and the letters blurred. I could still see them rolling down the screen, but the words were no longer apparent. “Better?”

“Yeah. Better. Thanks.”

“Coolness.” She shifted her position. “Hokay, so, anyway. To cut things short: I’m in your future. No fixed point in your future, just ‘in your future’.” She made bunny ears with her fingers. “AND… I’m also kind of in an alternate timeline than you. Because, obviously, you can’t be in a self-insert fanfiction yourself. You can just make a fantasy duplicate of yourself to go in. Even if you pretend it’s you, it still can’t physically be you. Even THIS form I’m using right now is just a projection of my true consciousness. But that’s what writing is, right? Leaving pieces of yourself behind in the past? That’s why we named ourselves PastSelf in the beginning, right? Or… at least one of the reasons.”

“Yeah.” I grinned to myself. The other reason was that I wanted to have a secret pseudonym so I could read my first fanfiction (Miss Redacted) to my sisters without getting them suspicious. It wasn’t TECHNICALLY lying since it was my past self who had written the story.

“Yeah! I’m still kinda trying to let this form live on in a non-stagnant state of being so I have a voice as ‘the creator’. So, anyways. The part where our lives split paths is when you decided to play genocide and I didn’t.”

“Hm. You didn’t?”

“Nope. I thought about it. But after watching Jacksepticeye play it, I thought I was pretty well off just staying away. So I played Hollow Knight instead. I DID, however, go back and play the Sans battle – JUST the Sans battle – because… well, I wanted to. There was a user on Steam,” she added before I could ask her how the dickens she had managed to fight Sans without playing genocide. “And they had some of the files that you replace on your computer that brings you RIGHT to the Sans battle with items and everything. Kinda cool. Oh! And…” Here she turned to the side as if looking at an invisible camera. She was speaking right to her readers. “If any of you are wondering: HER RUNS—” she pointed at me, “—HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I’VE PLAYED WITH MY COMPUTER. ALL THAT WE HAVE IN COMMON IS THE FIRST RUN (which is up on my channel. Subscribe!) AND NOTHING ELSE. I’VE PLAYED A BUNCH MORE RUNS THAN WHAT YOU’VE SEEN. JUST BECAUSE SHE SHOWED UP AT THE SAME POINT THAT I STARTED PLAYING THE GENOCIDE RUN DOESN’T MEAN THAT THERE’S ANY COINCIDENCE BETWEEN THEM.” She took a breath. “Thank you.” And took another drink of tea.

“Okay,” I inserted. I really didn’t know what else to say here. Her talking to the invisible audience (no offense, dear readers. I’m sure I appreciate you) was a little weird.

I drank some more tea. My mind drifted to the music that was playing. I could hear it while neither of us were talking. It was weird. It reminded me of the Dog’s theme song – whatever that’s called – but it had some trills off into different motifs. I caught a few notes that sounded suspiciously like ‘Your Reality’ from Doki Doki Literature Club, and an off beat reminded me of ‘The Impression That I Get’ by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I had always liked that song. Your Reality was a weird one though. I would have to think about those connotations later.

“But… that’s enough about me, at least for right now,” PastSelf continued. “You’re probably wondering about why you’re in the game Undertale. How you ended up here and how to get home, and tons of questions in between. Amiright?”

“Yoop.”

“Hokay. So… normally this could all be explained as ‘you’re in a fanfiction’!” A noise sounded from above. A sound bite from Portal 2 when GLaDOS sprinkles confetti. “BUT! I really don’t want to leave it open like that. Unlike the true God, I want things to be solvable without me in the picture, so if you’re ever pressed you can act like I wasn’t involved. I’m not saying that it’ll ever happen, but it’s awkward to have to explain to anyone who asks that your author – who is you from another universe – wanted to write a self-insert and you are it. I don’t like that explanation. And I don’t want to be blasphemous and claim that I’m God, because that’s a… nasty business altogether.”

I nodded in agreement, wincing.

“So! I am going to give you an explanation for all this that doesn’t involve me. Here goes.” She took a deep breath and continued in a slightly slower tone of voice. “So… when you first played Undertale… you loved it, right? Absolutely fell in love with the world… the characters… everything about it. Now I know what you’re wondering. This isn’t the first time that’s happened, I know that. You love Portal, you love Bioshock, I get it, and it’s totally valid! But this is the first time it’s happened to a game that has such a specific emphasis on souls.

“When you got into Undertale and really realized that you were enjoying it… it created a link between your soul and the soul of the protagonist. We were both truly surprised when we learned that the character we were playing had a NAME, for crying out loud! Why did it surprise us? We’ve played first person games before! We knew Chell and Gordon Freeman and characters like that all had names! So why did it surprise us when we learned about Frisk? Even when it came down to dabbling in fanfiction, it genuinely unsettled us that Frisk might have had a past before the Underground. That they might have been somebody before they fell. We were so deeply immersed… so… weirdly connected to the character in the game. And THAT is where it all started.

“Y’see, you emotionally linked yourself to the soul in the game. A powerful soul. A bunch of other gamers have loved Undertale and nothing has come of it because they specifically DIDN’T link their souls as powerfully as you had. And even if they did, they didn’t go through the necessary steps to make the bond into a true connection.

“Part one was creating the bond. Part two was activating it. When you tried to Reset the game, there was a conflict in your soul. Part of you wanted to play the game over again, the other thought of it as a real world. If you had gone through with your Reset none of this would have happened. Or if you had backed out before pushing the button nothing would have gone through. But since you forced your soul to make up its mind the moment you started to Reset, reflex took over. In that moment you let your soul take over and tried to stop the Reset. This created a paradox in the computer and the bond between your soul and the one you had played once before linked for good,” and here she made a nabbing motion with her fingers, “and pulled you through.”

I nodded solemnly, giving my drink another sip. It was good to get some explanations, even if I wasn’t sure exactly where it all was going. Still weird to see my face and body from an outside perspective, too. She kept doing little hand motions to annunciate what she was talking about.

“However,” she continued, looking upwards to recollect her thoughts. “That isn’t all that happened. Since you pressed Reset at the same time as Exit, it created a rift. Two timelines were created as you entered the world, one where you landed in full force and the other…” She gave a shrug.

“Yeah,” I said, looking down and clenching my jaw. “I know about all that.”

“Yeah. Well, you better hear it from me. Presuppositions can be dangerous. So, anyway, both timelines went into action. You were in one, in the Pacifist Route. The Genocide Route went into effect parallel. Your soul was active in both aspects – never truly apart. Eventually one timeline would have to give, and it just so happened to be the Pacifist one that gave out first. Your curiosity was strongest in the Judgement Hall. Like me, all you really wanted out of the Genocide Run was to fight Sans. Your curiosity dragged you over and the Pacifist timeline collapsed behind you. There was no longer a rift inside your soul. Your curiosity was still really strong, though, which is why you couldn’t Reset right off the bat. You needed to finish the task – fulfill what was giving you so much Determination before you could turn it to another cause. Resetting and trying again.”

I gave another terse nod. As glad as I was to hear this, it also brought a new pain because there was no ‘out’ for me now. She had given me all the clarification I needed. It had been my fault. There was no denying it now. What had happened was me, or at least had stemmed from me. There was no use resisting it now.

“It IS all undone,” PastSelf reminded me, swirling the remainder of the tea in her mug. “You’ve made it all better – or at least you will if you keep going the way you’re going. So… why so hard on yourself? Tell me.”

“You know why I have to be,” I groaned, settling the mug on my knees. “I’m the only one who knows what happened. And… I know that it DID happen, once. And even if it was just my ‘curiosity’… I can’t just go off and NOT take responsibility for my actions. I…” I struggled to find the words. “I feel like my soul is tarnished. Like it’s… I don’t really… trust myself after this. Like, I’m pretty sure I won’t do it all again, but just knowing that that part of me is in there?” I gave a staggered laugh. “It’s…”

“Scary,” PastSelf finished. “I know it is. But… and I don’t know if these are the best words to say at this time… but the circumstances that allowed for that part of you to come to light were so specific to this situation. A timeline being created that allowed such actions to occur…” She paused. “You weren’t in control. If you were truly in control, it never would have happened. Take it from me.”

I shrugged, but I wasn’t fully convinced. Active or inactive, the part of me that had done these horrific deeds was still inside me. I would have to keep that under close surveillance from now on.

“Hm…” PastSelf nibbled the inside of her lip. “You know the neat thing about self inserts? It’s that I have to write everything true to form. It requires a bit of introspection, a bit of roleplay… and I can’t throw anything at myself that I don’t truly think that I can take. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out, you know? And at this point it can NOT be more correct. I am you, so rest assured that whatever happens to you… I want it to be for your own personal good in the end. I WANT you to grow from these experiences, and even if I wouldn’t exactly appreciate it if you were doing the same to ME… I would want to trust that you were doing it for the same reasons that I am doing them to you. You get me?”

I shrugged, still a tad ungrateful for her ‘gifts’. “Sure. Maybe.”

She seemed to think that this was enough, because she nodded as well and sat back. She knew me as well as I knew myself. She was writing me after all. So she knew when not to press things, when to leave it alone. “Okie. One last thing before we move on: the timeline in your world is semi-parellel. Time basically moves on however quickly you’re playing in the videogame, so… about as much time as it takes for a Genocide playthrough followed by a Pacifist Run. Your incomplete Pacifist Run was happening at the same time as the Genocide Run, so… let’s just say that in your world it took up the same time. Now… I’m averaging just because I’m lazy and don’t have the time to figure it out, but when you get home it should be around six o’clock in the morning. Call it about eleven hours of gameplay altogether in your world.”

“Okay, cool!” I agreed. That worked out better than I expected.

“Like I’ve said, I don’t want to make major complications,” she added, spreading her hands apart. “If YOU want to tell your family about your little escapade, you can do so… but I definitely won’t force it to happen. Wouldn’t want you to do it to me, and there’s no reason for me to do it to you. Go ahead and do what you want in that area.”

“Alright,” I agreed, but more dubiously. I didn’t want to tell them. But just because I didn’t want to, I felt like I probably should. But I didn’t want to, so I probably wouldn’t. Hrrrgh. My stupid head.

“Now, we’ve finished talking about HAS happened. Now we look at what WILL happen. You’ve been under the assumption that you just have to reach the end of the game to get back to your world, and I’m here to tell you that you are absolutely right.”

“Oh thank goodness!” This was the best news I had heard in a long time.

“Yup. Technically, you could’ve escaped from the neutral ending, if you wanted to. HOWEVER!” She pointed at me with a waiting finger, and I could hear my voice for Papyrus ringing through her yell. “I’m not sure if you’ve thought over the connotations of entirely disappearing from this world. Sure it’s all cool for you, but it’d be quite the blow to all the people you’re leaving with NO explanation as to why. Just kinda vanishing into thin air. HOWEVER AGAIN!!!” she interrupted before I could so much as open my mouth, “You won’t exactly be just disappearing from this world. And let me explain before you get too confused. Ya see, when you entered this world, your form and soul and everything didn’t just come from scratch. Like I said before, you had never really separated yourself from the character you played. Frisk had never really existed before the Underground. They didn’t really have a personality apart from you. In fact, they WERE you. In your thoughts, at least. So when you came into the Underground, you gained the body of Frisk, and Frisk gained the appearance of you.”

“Uh…” I was having difficulty wrapping my head around this. “What?”

“You’re in Frisk’s body right now,” PastSelf said bluntly. “It looks like you because that’s the way you think of her. As you. This world exists mostly because of your and my combined psyche. We make it the way we perceive it. If anyone else had activated the world in the same way you did, the characters would act and sound the way that they think it should. But since it’s you, Sans talks with a British accent, Asriel’s final form swaps between voices, and Frisk doesn’t have a past before the Underground. This would be different if it wasn’t a True Reset. Frisk’s body would’ve remained as the default child. That form, that body, basically disappeared when you Reset. But since you can choose Chara’s name and you can’t after just a regular Reset, rules can be bent just for convenience’s sake. You didn’t think I pulled your entire body into the game, did you?”

“I dunno!” I wailed, feeling mightily uncomfortable all of a sudden.

PastSelf had the audacity to snicker, even though she mellowed it with a sympathetic look. “Okay, clarification time: Frisk has your soul and your memories. Even though her body hasn’t existed before this moment, she is YOU. She has always been you, even though you have only been her for the amount of time you’ve been in the Underground. Makes more sense?”

“I… I think so…”

“Think about it this way,” she tried again, cocking her head upward in thought. “It’s the same way that you were me up until the time that our timelines parted ways. I created a duplicate of myself and that duplicate – you – went on a different path. Now, when you leave the underground, your duplicate – Frisk – will live on apart from you, even though she WAS you just a second before. Better?”

“Yeah! I think I got it now!” I bobbed my head up and down, still rethinking everything. My head, Frisk’s head. Same head until it became hers and not mine anymore. Gotcha.

“Okay, neat! Although… that does form a bit of a conundrum. Because you told everyone – via Asriel – that your name is Emily. And it might cause some awkward revelations if she has to go around and tell everyone that her name is actually Frisk. So!” and here she clapped her hands down on her legs. “As you should have guessed by now, I like to avoid complications. And so, to avoid said complications I am willing to employ what can be known now as ‘the Author’s Power’ and instill a straight-up miracle… if you so choose. Said miracle would be to rewrite time with no particular explanation as to how, and allow everyone to think that you said your name was Frisk instead of Emily. That way when you leave, Frisk will be left with your legacy.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that sounds pretty good to me.”

“Okay, hold up for just a second,” PastSelf nearly yelled, holding her hands up with wide eyes. “MAN you gotta be glad I am not a genie right now, because you REALLY didn’t think that through. Let me lead you through it a little farther. There are three scenarios I can see stemming off of this choice. Scenario number one: you don’t have me rewrite the naming scene. You let Frisk go out into the world and have everyone believe that her name is Emily. No huge consequence except that she has your name, and therefore you still technically have a fingerprint on the world and she won’t have her own name unless she chooses to rename herself.

“Scenario number two: again, you don’t have me name her Frisk. You explain some things to those you want to remember you, request that everyone call her by her chosen name, and leave this world behind. Emily is gone, Frisk is here. You tell them that with as many explanations as you want.”

I cringed just thinking about it.

“So, Frisk is left with her own name. But the consequence will be that everyone will treat her as if she’s a new person, even if she’s basically you. They’ll get over it in time, of course, but she won’t be as accepted as she would if they understood that they had known her the whole time. Even if you explain it really well, I’m not sure all of them will be as accepting.

“And that leads us to scenario number three: you let me redub you as Frisk. The others will have no idea that any changes have taken place and Frisk will be as accepted as you would be had you stayed. They won’t know any exchange has taken place. But…” here she held up a waiting hand and shot me an anxious smile, “BUT they will never know you have ever existed. Your name will be erased from the timeline and Frisk’s stamped over it. Should they ever become aware of the truth, they’ll look on you as someone who has possessed their friend, and not ‘the original Frisk’. I may be being overdramatic about this,” she admitted, putting her hands up in submission, “but the solid point is that they will forget you and remember Frisk instead. These are the choices. Go ahead when you’re ready.” And she sat back.

I thought about it for a little bit, but the answer wasn’t hard to find. “Rename,” I said at last.

PastSelf nodded slowly, biting the inside of her cheek. “You sure about this?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “I, um… I want Frisk to not have to build up her life from scratch, you know? I want her to start out right.”

“Even if you know what it means for you?”

I felt a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was basically doing what Asriel had requested me to do to him. Forget and move on. “Frisk will still remember me,” I bypassed.

PastSelf nodded in agreement, then leaned forward with a new spark. “How about this,” she suggested. “You choose a person, or a few people, who will remember. That’ll work?”

“Uh…” I said. A long, drawn out sound. At this moment, no names were coming to mind.

“Sans?” suggested PastSelf. “At least.”

Slowly, I nodded. “I’ve already told him about everything else. He might as well know. Give Frisk someone to talk to.”

“Mmm. Papyrus?”

A terse, quick shake.

“You sure?”

I made the same motion, but affirmative this time.

She didn’t look disappointed. Just shrugged and carried on. “Asgore? Toriel? Ronnie?” That one was more of a joke.

“Is his name actually Ronnie?” I detoured.

PastSelf gave a generous shrug. “I dunno! He is NOW. I honestly don’t know what his canonical name is, so… it might be! Fits him, I think. How about Alphys?”

“Alphys doesn’t need to know.”

“Fair enough. What about Flowey?”

I thought about this one. I could think of several valid reasons why he should know. But ultimately I shook my head again.

“Okay. Anyone else, then? Or just Sans?”

“Just Sans.”

“Alright.” PastSelf snapped her fingers. The world shimmered for a split second, like light traveling through water, and then returned to normal.

I made a startled sound as if trying to dissent with what she had just done. She only gave me a look as if asking, ‘What? You asked for this, didn’t you?’ Although it was technically valid, I didn’t like it. It felt kind of like a jab, but I had no solid evidence that it was. I sat back again, disgruntled. My name was already gone. I didn’t regret my decision. I just wished she had waited a little longer.

“And… uh, one more thing,” she added. “The power of Reset stays with you, outside the game. If at any point you – for some reason – want to restart the game and play it over… you just start the game up again and press True Reset.”

“I don’t want to,” I said instantly.

“I figured. Just… Frisk won’t have that power. Just wanted to clarify. Although,” she added with a smile. “She never really did.”

I smiled. “It was always the player’s power.”

“Have you seen Glitchtale yet?”

“Yeah. A few episodes.”

“Yeah. It weirded us out to see a world where the player wasn’t involved. Where the Reset button was claimed by Frisk and Chara. Chara really had nothing to do with that. She never turned up until the end of Genocide to destroy the world and that was about it. Her power was never in that realm.”

“’Her’?” I noted.

PastSelf looked at me wryly. “Don’t you think of Chara as a ‘she’?”

“Um… yeah.”

“So,” she said, but didn’t say anything after that.

“So,” I echoed, nodding down at my tea.

After a long pause, I asked slowly, “What do you think… of Sans?”

Her eyebrows raised just a tiny bit and a look crossed her face that might have been a grin or a grimace. “Do you really want to know?”

Well, now that she looked like that! “Yeah!” I agreed.

She locked eyes with me. Looked down. Pinched her mouth to the side. “Alright,” she said. “But I want it not to influence the way that you see him. I’m looking from an outside perspective after all, and my opinion changes based on what fan theories and fanfiction stuff I see. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Okay.” She gnawed on her upper lip, obviously trying to figure out where to begin, leaning her head on the back of the chair and staring up at the ceiling. “We never really trusted Sans, did we, Em? Even from the very beginning. There were a couple animations that showed the Last Corridor, and so we got the impression that he was strongly against the protagonist. As we played the game and the story went on, we realized he wasn’t as bad as we might have thought, right? He cared for his brother, genuinely. He liked to make really bad jokes and skeleton puns. He was a lazybones, and that we didn’t expect in the least.”

A fond smile grew on her face as she said this, but then it diluted. “Then we watched Jack play Genocide and we saw the part of him that other people were fixated on. That’s the part that you’re at right now, aren’t you? Finding him fascinating because of how much he keeps hidden? Or… at least the part you were at before you entered the game?”

I nodded.

PastSelf made a sound. Almost a scoff, not quite a laugh. “Yeah. I just find it aggravating now. Although I think most of it had to do with the Sans fight I went through. Do you know how many times he killed you, when you were fighting him?”

I shook my head.

Her eyebrows twitched. “An even hundred,” she said. “You beat him on your one hundred and first try.”

One hundred times. Wow. I let this sink in.

“Mine was a little different. I didn’t spend so much time trying to Spare him at the beginning. Just jumped right into fighting. He got me sixty times.”

A flicker of motion came from the corner of my eyes. The screen, which had been cycling its blurred text as long as we had been sitting here, had unblurred itself. It showed the recording of PastSelf playing, I presume, her Sans fight. Or ‘best of’ snippets, I guessed. There was no sound. Just a gentle plinking from above as a megalovania-esque tone began to play.

“I tried my best to get him. Even so, it took three recording sessions and five video files to record the entire thing. Finally trimmed down the final thing to a video under an hour long, but it didn’t do justice to the character arc I went through to finish that fight. When I started it, I was honestly considering NOT finishing. Just leaving him sleeping there, calling the fight done, and replacing the files. That’s what a true pacifist would do. But as I kept fighting… as he kept calling me names and repeating dialogue and doing all that… it got under my skin. And what was worse, the files that I was given were semi incomplete. They just gave me the LV up to the right amount and put me in the right room with the right items. They didn’t claim that the rooms I was supposed to have gone through before were completed.

“In my final recording session I went back for the Burnt Pan since it gave me that extra food bonus. But as I came back, it forced me back on the written path, blocking my way through the way I had come. I got texts from Alphys as if I was on a neutral run, even though monsters never appeared. Flowey even showed up to give me his speech as I headed back through the Capitol. It broke the immersion. Maybe that’s a good thing, but for me… it felt like a bad thing. Suddenly I was the player of a glitching game, not a cross-dimensional traveler checking out an alternate timeline.”

Now she sounded like she was reading off a script. She had gained what I liked to call ‘my serious voice’. It was the voice that put my sister to sleep when I tried to read her Edgar Allen Poe. (Twice.) She was looking anywhere but my face, and she looked as if she had matured ten years. There was age in her eyes.

“I wanted to pretend that by switching to the Genocide Run and back I would give the characters all deja-vu nightmares for a night before they went back to their perfect ending. With the break in immersion, the pleasure of pretend was lost.”

Her mouth moved soundlessly on the screen as a black-and-white, pixilated Sans slept. Her voice rose in the recording for the first time as she stared right into the lens. “Honestly?” she said. “Right now? No remorse.” And she lifted up her controller to press down the attack button. The sound of the attack connecting sent a shock lancing down my spine. I felt awful, but I couldn’t look away.

“I only killed him once,” droned the PastSelf here in the room with me as the PastSelf on the screen completed the job. “But… for some reason that made ME that bad guy. Had I not pushed the ‘Fight’ button at the end, I still would have felt unsatisfied because I didn’t finish the fight. There wasn’t any good ending to be had.

“I probably shouldn’t have been so bugged by a video game, but for the next day or so I wrestled with my feelings. Why did a game make me feel guilty? It shouldn’t! It was just a game, and games were meant to be played! I never wanted to hear the song Megalovania again. I wanted to punch Sans in his smiling teeth. I wished I had continued and erased the world completely instead of resetting the files to their original Pacifist Ending status. ANYTHING than what I was feeling right now.

“I began to resent Sans. Any opportunity I had to throw him under the bus, I did. What kind of a promise keeper did he think he was if he only kept half his promise? I died tons of times my first time through and he had promised to keep me safe! He completely disappears during a neutral playthrough when Papyrus dies! The story plays itself out just the same without his ‘help’. He did NOTHING. He doesn’t care if he helps, he doesn’t care if he doesn’t help. He doesn’t care for you, or for his brother – since if he was so powerful he could’ve done something during the Genocide – and he takes only half of his promise seriously. I… came close to loathing him, then.”

The screen was blank. Back to scrolling letters. It was quiet in the room for a moment.

“I feel like Glitchtale is a bit to blame for my preconceived notions,” PastSelf continued, staring down at her hands, clasped around her mug. “The Sans in that one isn’t the nicest. And he remembers. I feel like… we developed our own image of Sans from what Camilla Cuevas portrayed. But… there was a post on DeviantArt that made me realize that Canon Sans wasn’t all like that. It had a list of ‘Sans Truths’, reminding people what Sans was really like in the game. One of the ones I saw there was ‘Sans does not hate Frisk’. It got me to thinking. Sans… doesn’t really resent Frisk for holding the timeline. Or at least it never says that he does. Not that I’ve seen, anyway. He straight-up says while they’re fighting that he was originally hoping that they could be friends. He tells you several times during the game that he’s rooting for you.”

Now her expression was piercing. The light of passion was in her eyes. I could feel it resonating within me as I listened. Her dour words, which had weighed down my mood like a ballast on a ship, now lightened and I could feel my spirits lift.

“I began to break down my opinions, bit by bit. He doesn’t come rushing in to save his brother? He doesn’t remember alternate timelines. How would he know his brother was in need of rescuing? He doesn’t attack you to save monsterkind? He had made a promise. One that he’ll keep, even if you kill his family and friends. All he’ll do is disappear to remove the temptation. I’m still not entirely convinced about the whole ‘not swooping in to rescue you’ thing, since that DOES make up a good bit on his promise… or at least I’m not convinced at the time of writing this… but a good bit of the loathing has gone now. He’s an amazing character from a vantage point outside of his reality, but from an inside perspective I find I still don’t trust him. Not really.”

Would she say anything else? I waited patiently to see.

“So… probably isn’t the answer you were hoping for, but I still haven’t figured out Sans enough to form a full opinion of him. I want to like him, I really do! But…” here she laughed. “He makes it so hard sometimes! He was REALLY hard to write, too. I had to do a lot of thinking to write him correctly. I like Papyrus better. He’s my favorite.”

“Yeah.” I grinned, thinking of the taller skeleton.

“So. Anyway, that’s a bit of an answer. Not too much of a cohesive finish there, but… there you have it.” She raised the mug to her mouth and drank down the last of her tea. She put the empty mug on the desktop beside her. “Um… any questions you have for me before you have to go? Requests?”

“Uhm…” here I had to take some thought. “Any future knowledge you want to share? Anything that won’t break the timeline?”

“Huh. Future knowledge? Well, I’m too late to warn you against that one Portal fanfiction we shouldn’t have read.”

I shuddered just thinking about it. Who knew people posted things like that on the internet??? I certainly hadn’t! “Yeah.”

“So… how about this one. How much do you know about the AUs? The Undertale AUs.”

“Nnnnnnot much,” I drawled, trying to think exactly how much I knew. “I’ve seen some things around, but I haven’t gone searching either.”

“Phew, so I’m just in time.” PastSelf leaned forward in her chair. “Okay, so the AU you’re looking for is called Underfell. Remember that: Fell as in Frisk FELL into the underground. I’m telling you this because I forgot the name when I was poking around to find out what it was about and I stumbled upon Merg’s channel when he was playing different fanmade games. He had one for Horrortale and I thought ‘oh yeah, that must be it!’ and I was DEAD WRONG and TRAUMATIZED myself, so don’t go near Horrortale!”

“Okay,” I agreed, startled. “What’s in Horrortale?”

“Uh, it takes place after the ‘Undyne becomes Queen’ neutral ending, but all the underground’s running out of food and they get desperate and start eating humans. It’s… really graphic.” Her face caved in on itself with revulsion and she swallowed hard. “It’s the one with the thumbnail that has Papyrus with really long, scary teeth. Don’t click on it. Look up still images if you get really curious, but don’t watch the video unless you want to hurt yourself.”

“Noted,” I said.

“And THEN,” continued PastSelf, “as if THAT wasn’t bad enough, when I finally healed enough and thought ‘huh, I’ll try again, what’s the worst that could happen?’ I found the video for Dusttale! Which is another bad one because it features a killer Sans! Not THE Killer Sans, though. That’s a different AU. You don’t need to worry too much about that one, I don’t think. Probably.”

“Okay,” I squeaked. “So… Horrortale and Dusttale are no go, right?”

“Exactly. Look up Underfell if you want to, but just be careful. Undertale’s a weird fandom and you can get some stuff in your head you don’t want to see if you’re not cautious.”

“Gotcha. Uh… any other forewarning stuff? Or… future advice?”

“Yeah.” She pointed a finger at me. “Get your license. Learn how to drive. Sooner rather than later. The snowy season doesn’t start until after the end of this year, so you can get your license before then and it won’t be too bad. Dad breaks his arm during the first snowfall in February, so get it before then to help relieve some stress from the others.”

“Dad breaks his ARM???” I was starting to question what she thought was safe disclosure.

“Just a compound fracture. Don’t worry about it.” She waved it off like a compound fracture was on the same line as getting a scrape. “Anyway, you don’t need to learn all that fancy stuff like highway driving until after you get your license. You just need to learn the basics and then all that other stuff is learned afterward. Confidence too. Everything becomes a bit easier when it’s just you in the car. Trust me. Singing really loudly along to the music really helps downplay the stress, too.”

“Okay.” I marked this all down mentally.

“Okie dokie. Next: your job IS going to be moving during the Christmas season.”

“Oh no, is it?” I groaned. The one thing worse than working Christmas retail was moving while working Christmas retail.

“Yyyyyup. But once you’re over with it, it’ll become one of those things that you look back on and say, ‘I moved stores while in the height of the Christmas season. I can do this now’. That kind of thing.”

This didn’t exactly make me feel better about the whole thing, but I nodded anyway.

“Now for some fun stuff. Little farther out, but if you’re still up to playing video games after this, Genshin Impact comes out in September or October 2020. Jump on that. It’s super fun.”

“You sure you won’t toss me into that one too?” I dared to suggest.

She rolled her eyes. “Nah. I can’t really figure out a way to make it work as a livable world, anyway, so let’s just stick with Undertale.”

I shook my head, looking down. Her giving a logical explanation for why not actually helped a little bit, though.

“Markiplier and Ethan start a channel called Unus Annus in a couple months, and all of its content gets deleted in one year.”

“Wait, Mark and ETHAN?” For some reason it was bizarre to me that of all people Mark would choose Ethan to collaborate with.

“Yeah, Mark and Ethan. They’re really clear about the channel deletion from the get-go, but if you don’t get started on watching videos as soon as it comes out, you won’t be able to see them all. I didn’t. Aaaand I kinda regret that. So… Unus Annus. Try it out.”

“Okie dokie. Noted.”

“Awesome. But just… one thing I wanna warn you about.” Her face grew concerned. “I’m not gonna tell you not to watch the episode, but I’m just gonna warn you real quick about one of them. It’s called something like ‘We Force James Charles to Try Out an Obstacle Course’ or something like that, (it becomes their most watched episode, so you can search by that) and it’s a really good episode and everything… but it does get a bit… triggering. Mark says some mean things to Ethan while he’s competing, and I just want to warn you beforehand so that you don’t go into it blind. Be prepared and take your time watching it. Try not to let it get to your head, because he’s just teasing… but your mind’ll do some weird stuff because of what he says. Alright?”

My eyes widened, but I answered, “Alright.”

“Okie. And I don’t know if I should say anything other than that. Don’t want to screw up your timeline by giving advice that might negatively affect you somehow.” She winked, returning to her typical laid-back demeanor. “So, if you have no other questions, you should be heading off to see Asriel soon. But first, I have a question or so for you.” She bit her lower lip. “This is probably not the best time to ask you this since you still haven’t headed home and everything, but… would you be interested in visiting an AU in the future?”

“One of the Undertale AU’s?”

“Yeah! I mean, not soon or anything, just… sometime in the future? I promise from here on out I won’t swoop you unexpectedly out of your world. This time was just for storytelling sake. From here on out, I’ll give you fair warning and make sure you’re up for it first. So… sound interesting?”

I just wanted to go home. I didn’t want to engage in such weirdness. But I just said, “Eh. I’ll think about it.”

She shrugged with a wry grin. “I’ll ask again some other time. Later. Maybe. If I think of an idea.”

I could already tell by the way she was talking she had already thought up an idea. But all I said was, “Okay,” and left it at that.

“Alrighty. And, uh… just to make it clear, this whole ‘renaming you’ thing is a one-time deal. If you DO go to another AU and call yourself Emily… it stays that way. But you probably have to get going now. So, anyway.” She slapped her knees and rose. I stood up with her. “Hope you have a nice talk with Asriel,” she said, walking me to the door. “Have a safe trip home, and… enjoy the rest of your life!”

“Thanks,” I responded, adding, “You too.”

She gave a grin and a wave before the door closed solidly between us.

Chapter Text

Chapter 41

I stepped blinking out of the cavern and back into Snowdin. My brain kept running over the situation I had just been through, trying to discount it as a dream, but inevitably picking it up and handling it again like a Rubik’s Cube. Dangit, how I hated those things! So many moving parts, but as soon as you figure out how to get one side together, you have to take it apart to get the other sides together and it’s just SO MUCH HASSLE!

Yup. This was just like that.

Every time I passed one of the monsters who were rejoicing about their release, I slapped on an automatic ‘customer service smile’ before dropping it as I moved on, my brain still far away. All this was just… yikes, it was a lot. If I ever recovered from it all, (which I probably wouldn’t. Or maybe I would. Who knew?) I would give myself a pat on the back for exemplary mental stability. Maybe treat myself to some ice cream. That’d be nice.

Ooh, Nice Cream. I wondered if Ronnie was still hanging around in Hotland. Probably. Oh, but he was out of Nice Cream. Dang it. Hopefully he would start up a business and Frisk could have some all the time.

Could you dedicate a Nice Cream to me someday, Frisk? I thought. It was weird doing that, tallying away a note to my future yet alternate self. Eat a Nice Cream and think to yourself, huh, I think Emily would’ve liked this one. Here’s to you, Em. Could’ja do that? Please? That’d be awfully sweet of you, no pun intended.

Speaking of puns, Toriel and Sans kept sending me texts as I walked back through Snowdin and the Ruins. They made me chuckle as I walked, hand continuously drawing my phone back out to view their latest messages. It was from Toriel’s phone, but Sans started typing for her at one point, and those texts were HILARIOUS because he kept trying to act like her (very, VERY poorly), making goofy sentences in her name, and then she took it back and started trying to act like HIM and it was just hilarity all around. I loved it.

I would miss those guys when I went back. I really would. All of them. But now wasn’t the time to think of that yet. There was still one person who needed me, first.

Asriel’s ghost stood by the edge of the flowerbed. I scuffed my feet on the floor a little bit as I approached so he could hear me coming. It worked because he looked up, giving a little smile.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hey,” he responded, and I could see the glimmer of tears in his eyes as he looked down again.

“You okay?” I asked the ghostly figure of the child.

He sniffled and gave a short laugh. “Don’t worry about me.” He scuffed the nearest flower gently with his toe. “Someone has to take care of these flowers.”

I reached out so that our arms could meet. In my mind, maybe that would turn into a hug. For a moment I felt a soft resistance. Even though he was transparent, there was enough corporeality for me to touch him. But after only a brief brush, he pulled away. “Frisk.”

It was weird to hear him say that, and just not weird enough for it to be scary.

“Please leave me alone. I can’t come back.”

“Are you sure?” I pressed.

“I just can’t, OK?” He clasped his hands about his arms even tighter. “I don’t want to break their hearts all over again. It’s better if they never see me.”

They would never see me again. They would see my face every day, but they would never see me again. They would never know I even existed. Nobody except Frisk and Sans.

But I was okay with it. Really. Really I was.

“…Why are you still here?” Asriel asked after a moment’s pause. “Are you trying to keep me company?”

“Well… yeah. I thought…”

I didn’t know what I thought. I didn’t know what to add.

Asriel chuckled softly. “Frisk…”

I smiled and sat down, motioning him to join me. He did, clasping his hands about his knees and staring up at the ceiling, the crack that birthed the slim beam that lit the chamber.

“Hey,” he said after a moment of companionable contemplation. “Let me ask you a question.”

“Okay?”

“Frisk… why did you come here? Everyone knows the legend, right…? ‘Travelers who climb Mt. Ebott are said to disappear’. Frisk. Why would you ever climb a mountain like that?”

I struggled to concoct a story.

“Was it foolishness? Was it fate? Or was it… because you…?”

Curiosity, Asriel. In the end… it always was Curiosity.

I should have said it out loud. The solemness rendered me mute.

“Well…” he said at last. “Only you know the answer, don’t you…?” His hand came up to his chest as if groping for something that wasn’t there. “I know why Chara climbed the mountain. It wasn’t for a very happy reason.”

I made a noise. Asriel waited to see if I would speak, but I didn’t. I didn’t have words. “Frisk. I’ll be honest with you. Chara hated humanity. Why they did, they never talked about it. But they felt very strongly about that.”

I pinched my lips together. I knew a bit about that. Humanity sucked sometimes. Majorly. But that still didn’t mean that I agreed with Chara’s choices.

“Frisk… Asriel almost laughed. “You really ARE different from Chara. In fact, even though you have similar, uh, fashion choices… I don’t know why I ever acted as if you were the same person?”

“Really?” I chuckled.

He shrugged. “Maybe… the truth is… Chara wasn’t really the greatest person.” He said this with his mouth pressed up against his knees so the words came out muffled. “While, Frisk…” and here he raised his head, beaming brightly. “You’re the type of friend I wish I always had. So maybe I was projecting a bit. Let’s be honest. I did some weird stuff as a flower.”

We shared a laugh, then. A laugh that wasn’t a real laugh. One that shared thoughts and memories and experiences, holding pain deep inside.

“There’s one last thing I feel like I should tell you.”

“Okay.”

“Frisk, when Chara and I combined our souls together… the control over our body was actually split between us.”

“Really?” I asked. That was interesting.

“They were the one that picked up their own empty body. And then, when we got to the village… they were the one that wanted to… to use our full power.” His voice was soft now. Resisting each word. “I was the one that resisted. And then, because of me, we…”

I leaned toward him, forgetting that he had refused last time. But this time he reciprocated. I put my arm around him. A sideways hug. “Well,” he ended. “That’s why I ended up a flower.”

I nodded. Even though I felt as if he was as substantial as water, I wouldn’t stop holding him.

“Frisk… this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision.”

I opened my mouth. Closed it. I knew about blame.

“That’s why I adopted that horrible view of the world. ‘Kill or be killed’. But now…” and here he raised his head from my shoulder to look at me. “After meeting you… Frisk, I don’t regret that decision anymore.”

“You don’t?”

“No. I know I did the right thing. If I killed those humans… we would have had to wage war against all of humanity. And in the end, everyone went free, right?”

I gave a sideways nod, not quite agreeing, thinking it over.

“I still feel kind of sad knowing how long it took… so maybe it wasn’t a perfect decision. But you can’t regret hard choices your whole life, right?”

But you can regret bad ones, the spiteful little goblin who lives in my brain and likes to poke spears at me whispered evilly. I told it to shut up and stay in the moment. Asriel needed me right now.

“Well,” he added sadly, cuddling back next to me again, “not that I have much of a life left. But that’s beside the point.”

I stroked his arm, then brought my hand up and caressed the soft fluff of his ear. Then back down to his arm again.

Asriel straightened, standing once more. I stayed sitting. “Frisk, thank you for listening to me.”

“Oh, sure thing!” I answered, nodding.

“You should really go be with your friends now, OK?”

I nodded again, biting my lip.

“Oh, and, please…” He squirmed, looking down. “In the future, if you uh, see me… don’t think of it as me, OK?”

He meant Flowey.

“I just want you to remember me like this. Someone that was your friend for a little while.”

“Alright,” I answered, rising to my feet and brushing off my hands.

“Oh, and Frisk…”

“Yeah?” I was still reluctant to leave.

“Be careful in the outside world, OK? Despite what everyone thinks, it’s not as nice as it is here. There are a lot of Floweys out there. And not everything is resolved by just being nice.”

I knew that. I was a retail worker. Of course I knew that. A tiny grin lanced my lips. The goblin poked again. I was one of those Floweys. I had been. Once.

“Frisk…” Asriel graced me with a smile. One of the biggest I had seen on his face. “Don’t kill, and don’t be killed, alright? That’s the best you can strive for.”

I let the soft breath of a laugh through my nose. “Gotcha. Sound advice.”

He smiled at the ground, then put his hand up in a wave. “Well,” he said. “see you.”

Would we, though? Would Frisk, even if I wouldn’t?

“See you,” I echoed, finding no better word choice.

And I exited. I didn’t look back. Didn’t turn around. Just left him there by the flowerbed, the colors of gold and white and green forever cemented in my memory, along with the taste of loneliness and guilt. Two souls connected, yet never touching. Two strangers, two friends, who would never meet again.

I took my time walking back through the underground. Toriel stopped texting me after a while. Guess she had better things to do. Either that or she was busy cleaning up after Undyne and Papyrus. I would miss them. I would miss all of them, and they would never know how much I did. I couldn’t even say goodbye.

Well, this was how things had to end. I had decided. So it would be.

There’s a play called ‘Our Town’ by Thornton Wilder. I had read it once upon a time. The final act focused on one of the main characters. Ironically, her name was Emily. In her death, she was allowed to revisit any day of her life – any that she wished. But she soon found that it pained her too greatly because it went by too fast. I remember her crying, “They don’t look at each other. Why don’t they look at each other?” as she watched her past interactions fly by without a second glance.

Time passes fast. I’ve certainly never got a grip on it. I could end this time in a separate world at any point, but I chose to savor it. I wanted to look at each of them, memorize their faces, their words. I visited Grillby’s one last time and petted all the dog guards. Grillby actually looked at me through his shining glasses and said a soft thank you in his crackling voice. I asked Napstablook if I could hug him, first if it was possible, (he didn’t know) and then If I could try. It turns out I could. He felt the same consistency as Asriel. I made sure to chat with Onionsan and hold a gentle conversation with Shyren. Ronnie chatted at great length about his plans for the surface world. “If all humans are like you, I think it’ll be a modest success!” he exclaimed, nodding as if he already had the future in his hands.

“I believe in you,” I cheered. Those words had a strong impact on me, ever since Papyrus had said the same to me.

Even though I hadn’t cared much for Muffet, I stopped by to talk to her too. Might as well. Still gave me the shivers, though. And on and up through Hotland, into MTT Resort.

“Did you find your nametag yet?” I asked Burgerpants.

“Yessiree I did, little buddy!” the cat monster exclaimed, whipping it out from beneath the counter. “Now see for yourself: my true name!”

The nametag read ‘Burgerpants’ in a scrawled scratch. “Um…” I said.

He turned it around to face him. “WHAT!?” he screeched. “SOMEONE CHANGED IT!?!” He gave a low, despairing sigh. “Well, I guess I’m stuck with this name forever.”

“But…” I insisted, “you could just tell me…”

“I don’t make the rules, little buddy,” Burgerpants said, affixing the nametag to his uniform and leaning over the counter with a dejected expression. “The nametags don’t lie.”

Nothing I could say would make him tell me what his real name was. I left disappointed and continued onward, then through the capital, and back to the king’s palace.

Time was precious. I didn’t spend more than I had to in the Judgement Hall.

All were eager to leave. I could see that by their faces. I tried to keep them in my memory. Their smiling, happy faces. If Sans knew I had two names now, he didn’t show it. He called me ‘kiddo’ same as always and didn’t seem surprised when the others called me Frisk. It still kinda sucked that Papyrus had only called me by my real name once. I wanted to hear it again. I wanted to hear Undyne say it. Maybe Sans would someday.

No. Not anymore. No use dwelling on what might have been or what had once been. Right now, I had to focus on what would be. Right now, we were exiting the Underground. My friends were behind me. The door was before me. I stepped through.

There was a long corridor, completely unlit except by a bright square of light at the end of the tunnel. Natural sunlight. It was golden, warm, and so… SO beautiful. My friends and I all stepped out into it, shading our eyes. We stood, finally, outside the mountain. The sun was settled on the horizon, a glorious orb of pure light. Below us was a void, either of darkened trees or of mist. The shadows made it difficult to tell. To our left was the pinnacle of a mountain. To the right, a cluster of buildings. Or maybe it was a castle. I couldn’t tell that either.

Well, I decided, it was for Frisk to find out now. Good luck on that, Frisk, my girl.

“Isn’t it beautiful, everyone?” breathed Asgore. I nodded slowly in solemn agreement.

“Wow…” gasped Alphys. “It’s e-even better than on TV. WAY better! Better than I even imagined!”

“Frisk, you LIVE with this!?” Undyne exclaimed. I was glad I was shielded behind Toriel so she couldn’t see me make a face. I personally didn’t. Not this world. Not this sun. Undyne wasn’t even looking at me anyway. Her eye was closed and she breathed in deeply. “The sunlight is so nice… and the air is so fresh!” A gust of wind ruffled her hair, sending it dancing. “I really feel alive!”

“HEY SANS…” Papyrus jabbed a mittened finger toward the orb on the horizon. “WHAT’S THAT GIANT BALL?”

“we call that ‘the sun’, my friend.” Sans’s voice was low. His eyelights skimmed over everything as if he couldn’t get enough.

“THAT’S THE SUN!? WOWIE!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M FINALLY MEETING THE SUN!!!”

My mouth stretched wide in a grin, taking in his face. Both their faces as they stood together, the two brothers. And all the others, their skin and fur and scales shining gold in the brilliant sunlight.

“I could stand here and watch it for hours…” Asgore murmured.

“Yes, it is beautiful, is it not?” Toriel’s voice was soft. “But we should really think about what comes next.”

“Oh, right.” Asgore turned to the rest of us. The others ripped their eyes away from the wonderful sight to turn to their king. “Everyone… this is the beginning of a bright new future. An era of peace between humans and monsters. Frisk…” and now his gaze was solidly upon me, “I have something to ask of you. Will you act as our ambassador to the humans?”

It didn’t take me too long to think it over. Frisk could only benefit from this. “I would be honored,” I spoke for her.

“YEAH!” Papyrus seconded, punching his fist into the air. “FRISK WILL BE THE BEST AMBASSADOR!”

I agreed with him. Yeah, she sure would.

“AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL BE THE BEST MASCOT! I’LL GO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION!”

With that, he launched himself toward the nearby path, taking off down the mountainside at a brisk pelt.

“welp,” said Sans. He gave me a sideways wink. “someone’s gotta keep him from getting into trouble. see you guys.”

And he walked back inside the mountain. Probably to find a shortcut. His blue hoodie soon faded into darkness.

“Man, do I have to do EVERYTHING?” demanded Undyne. “Papyrus, wait!!!” And then she too was off down the mountainside, pursuing the lanky skeleton.

“Hey, Undyne!! Wait up!!” called Alphys, and she too was gone in a matter of seconds.

Now it was the two royals and myself. Asgore shuffled uncomfortably. “Whoops,” I heard him mutter. There was a long pause. “Uh, should I do something?” he asked, turning slightly toward us.

Not sure how we would know. He was the king, after all. Toriel only glared down the cliffside, refusing to make eye contact. Her hands were stiff at her sides.

Asgore must’ve picked up on that, because he exclaimed, “Well, gotta go!” and followed the others on their way down.

Just me and Toriel now. She stood looking at Asgore’s departing form. “It seems everyone is quite eager to set off,” she said.

I made a noise of agreement. “Yeah. Seems so.”

“Frisk… you came from this world, right…?” Good thing it was a rhetorical question. I had no truth to give. “So you must have a place to return to, do you not? What will you do now?”

She didn’t. Frisk was born when I entered this world. Even though I had a family and home to return to, Frisk had nothing but the clothes on her back and some scant items in her inventory and G in her pocket. The one thing she did have was Toriel. My answer wasn’t hard to give. I smiled at her. “Please…” I bit my lower lip. Smiled again. “I want to stay with you.”

Toriel’s eyes opened wide. She didn’t look displeased. Just shocked. “What? Frisk…” She gave a short laugh. Then a longer one. “You really are a funny child. If you had said that earlier, none of this would have happened.” She leaned forward and whispered, “It is a good thing you took so long to change your mind.” Another bright laugh. “Well… I suppose. If you really do not have any other place to go… I will do my best to take care of you for as long as you need. All right?”

I drank her in. The light dancing in her eyes. The golden sheen on her white fur. The purple hue of her robe. All her beauty. “Thank you, Toriel.”

“You are quite welcome. Now, come along.” She took my hand in hers. Patted it. “Everyone is waiting for us!”

We began to walk, but as we went along it wasn’t us walking anymore. It was them walking. I wasn’t the one holding Toriel’s hand anymore. It was Frisk.

Our minds touched once, Frisk’s and mine, as we were separating. An inquisitive brush as we pulled apart like two halves of a taffy being split. In that moment we said both hello and goodbye. There was a loss on both sides, like a child who has been using a floating toy to swim just lost their grip and realized that the pool bottom was underneath their feet all along. But Frisk never faltered. Never looked back. I could see the back of her head as she linked arms with Toriel and the two of them followed the others down the mountainside. The entire world faded to black.

What followed next was something of a feverdream. Every so often my soul re-connected with Frisk’s and I could see snippets of her life through her eyes. Only snippets, nothing more. It was like a slideshow. She could feel me, and she felt surprised each time, but was accepting. She knew how the game went. She knew that this would happen.

I could see Papyrus in a brand-new car, driving down the highway. Sans in an offensively green little motorbike jetted past him, throwing Frisk a wink as he went. I could hear the sound of Papyrus yelling into the wind in irritation, and a bubbling laugh well up in Frisk’s throat as she watched the shenanigans.

Frisk swam in the ocean, the cool salt of seawater in her mouth. She was chatting with Onionsan, and on the beach past them, Undyne pulled herself surreptitiously closer until she was in range, pecking Alphys on the cheek. Frisk grinned as Alphys turned beet red, trying to find her words again as Onionsan waited eagerly for a reply.

Mettaton’s first small show had Napstablook as the DJ and Shyren singing backup. Burgerpants was also onstage in a bush. I could sense Frisk’s confusion about this arrangement.

The smell of freshly cut grass outside of Toriel’s new school. Frisk smiled and waved at Asgore, who was trimming a shrubbery into the shape of Papyrus’s smiling scull. Monster Kid greeted Toriel at the door to the school and entered. I could hear the murmur of their voices.

Then came the REAL feverdream. Actually, I’m pretty sure that it WAS a dream. Frisk’s dream. She was dreaming that the Special Thanks were being thrown at her and I was in control of her soul again. That was a weird time. We got hit a bit, but it didn’t hurt.

Frisk was asleep. I wasn’t staring through her eyes at this point. I was somewhere above her, looking down. I wasn’t even attached to her soul at this point. Just a specter.

Toriel entered the room. Softly, she crossed the floor and put a plate of pie on the ground. Then she exited. With a tender look she smiled at my sleeping doppelganger. When the door slammed shut, everything was gone.

There was a sucking sensation like I had become liquid being sucked through a straw. Or maybe it was a whirling sensation, like Dorothy being transported to Oz via tornado. Whatever it was, I was no longer matter. I had no soul. I had no body. No life. No world. No purpose. I was leaving. I was going home.

I jolted as if I had been falling. My computer sat before me, the bright white word ‘UNDERTALE’ gracing the screen. Underneath, in smaller text, it read ‘THE END’.

It… it was over. I was home. I snagged my headphones and listened to the soft chime of music repeat.

The clock above me read 6:15. It was dark out my window. I hit Alt+Tab to check on OBS. It was completely frozen. I doubted any of the video was recoverable. I shut it down and went back to the ending screen, taking off my headphones and laying them on my lap. Toby the dog came walking out the side of the screen, lying down under the lettering and taking a nap. Pixel form once again. I huffed a laugh.

Over. It was all over like it never had begun. Strange how a lifetime could happen in just a few hours.

I held the escape button and exited to my Steam Library. Closed it. Closed down my laptop. Sat staring for a time.

What next? What could you do once you had viewed infinity? How could life go back to normal after the abnormal had occurred?

I had a secret, now. And a world to protect. I wouldn’t open Undertale again. All that was waiting there was the Reset button, and I wouldn’t be pressing it again. Frisk had her own world, just as I had mine. I might never revisit, but I would never forget.

The

End