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Tommy was a big man.
Nope, try again.
Big Man.
There we go.
Tommy was- no IS a Big Man.
He has faced down crazy men in crazy wars since he was a young teen. He has even conquered death.
But, even the biggest of men can be taken down, right?
By horrible, awful, scary things, right?
Like…..
# # #
Ranboo rolled over again on the guest bed, willing themself to feel sleepy. It wasn’t working and hadn’t been for the past hour.
Normally when hit with insomnia, they’d take a nice walk for fresh air.
No, not an ender walk thank you very much.
Though right now, there was a thunderstorm making its way through L’manberg.
So, enchanted armor or not, they’d rather stay warm and dry. Maybe at least walking around Tommy’s base will do the trick.
That’s where Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo were currently as they deemed it too late and the two too tired to make the trip to Snowchester before nightfall.
(Foolish was more than happy to babysit Michael)
Ranboo carefully removed themself from under the covers so as not to disturb Tubbo, then began to meander.
The base didn’t have too many rooms or really anything of interest, but that’s what made it distinctly Tommy. The guest room hadn’t even existed until a few days ago when Tubbo insisted it would be used. Then, sure enough.
Tubbo sure enjoyed that ‘I told you so’.
Another flash of lightning lit up the hallway, (Ranboo had added windows) followed by a loud clap of thunder. But, Ranboo’s sensitive hearing picked up on a small second sound.
It sounded like a person.
Keeping their footsteps as quiet as possible, Ranboo followed the sound. Down the rest of the hallway and down the stairs. It was…. breathing? Crying?
From their angle on the staircase, Ranboo could almost see the whole main entrance room. The only thing out of view was the kitchen. Of course that was where the sound was coming from.
At this distance the sound was most definitely a crying of sorts. A cry that Ranboo was quite familiar with. One of sharp breaths and forced back tears.
Someone was trying to hold it together.
And with Tubbo being in bed…
Ranboo kept up their tiptoeing until they got to the kitchen to confirm their suspicions. Sure enough, with a flash and the inevitable roll of thunder, Tommy gasped and flinched almost painfully.
There he stood in front of a glass of water, white knuckling the counter, trying very hard to simply breathe.
Ranboo figured it was rude to keep staring, but they couldn’t just leave their friend alone in this state. So, they made themself known.
The poor blonde jumped at the sound of them clearing their throat, quickly putting up a facade. “Heyyyy Ranboo, my friend. Why you up so late? Tired of Tubs kickin’?” He tried to laugh but it was quiet and tired. His hair was tousled from running his fingers through it one too many times, and his shirt was wrinkled from tossing and turning.
A loud roar of thunder was his response, and Tommy could barely hold back a flinch and a whimper. “Pretty… pretty…. ugh…. loud stuff huh?” His voice wavered.
“It’s okay to be scared Tommy.” Ranboo tried to reassure him while approaching slowly.
“I’m not fucking scared!” He shouted, body trembling against his will, “That’s a low thing to accuse a man of.”
“It’s really not. It’s quite reasonable actually.”
Tommy hugged himself, sending Ranboo a weak glare, “What do you know, string bean?”
“I’m sure he’d be okay with me telling you this.” Ranboo took a deep breath, “Tubbo still has problems with fireworks. Someone was setting them off last week and he was stuck in a ball in the corner for hours afterwards.”
He seemed to contemplate that for a second before mumbling, “That’s cause that’s Tubbo.” Another roll of thunder and he hugged himself tighter with a whine.
Ranboo looked on in concern, “Do you think Tubbo is weak?”
“W-” Tommy scoffed knowing he was cornered, “Well, no! He’s been through a lot. In fact he’s been through more than he’ll probably ever tell you!”
Ranboo winced, causing Tommy to back track. “Not that he- I’m not saying he-.”
Tommy scrubbed a hand down his face, taking a shaky breath, “Look, I’m not trying to put down the weird relationship you guys have, or your trust or some shit. Nor am I trying to put down that you’ve been through some tough shit too, believe me I know. It’s just…” he let out a humorless laugh, “You weren’t there… and then……” he ended in a whisper, “No one was.”
Another bolt of lightning lit up the kitchen, the thunder making Tommy curse and slap his hands to his ears.
“I’ll be right back Tommy, I promise.” Ranboo took one last look at their friend who reluctantly nodded, and went back upstairs. Though they were quick, they wished they had some control of their teleporting for times like these.
Back in the guest room, they shook Tubbo awake gently. “Hey, can you get up?”
“What? Why?” Tubbo asked, still half asleep. He rubbed his eyes and stretched to gain his bearings a bit. “Oh, hi Ranboo. Was I kicking you?”
Ranboo chuckled, “No. Funny though, that’s what Tommy said. Speaking of him actually…”
Tubbo’s face fell, “What, what’s wrong, what happened? Is he okay?”
“Yeah he’s- well no but,-”
“Well what’s wrong, is he hurt? Where is he?” Tubbo spoke quickly, wide awake now and throwing the covers off himself.
Ranboo stepped in front of the startled goat boy before he could get up, holding their hands out to stop him. “Physically, yes he’s fine.”
Tubbo looked confused before a flash of lightning pulled his attention towards the window. His eyes widened in understanding and his face was now set in determination. “Where is he?”
“In the kitchen.” Ranboo stepped aside seeing the change in Tubbo’s demeanor. They had hoped he would know what to do to help Tommy, and it seemed like he did.
“Do you remember that hot chocolate recipe I taught you?” Tubbo asked while making his way to Tommy’s room.
“Yeah. Do you want me to make it?” Ranboo followed behind.
They stopped at the top of the stairs, “If you could please. I’ll be right down.” He gave Ranboo’s arm a squeeze then parted ways down the short hall to the blonde’s room.
In the kitchen Tommy was now curled up in one of the chairs at the breakfast bar. Ranboo gathered the sauce pan, wet ingredients, and premixed dry ingredients.
It didn’t take long to melt the chocolate and mix it together properly, and Tubbo was coming down the stairs by the time Ranboo was laddeling it into mugs.
“I told you to organize your things, not just shuffle them around Tom.” Tubbo teased. In his arms was a red plaid blanket and a cow stuffed animal that looked well loved. He approached Tommy carefully, whispering, “I’m right here big man.” And draped the blanket over his shoulders.
Tommy eyed the stuffed animal as if it offended him, until a particularly loud roar of thunder made itself known. With that, the cow was promptly wrenched from Tubbo’s hands into the now blanket burrito that was Tommy.
Tubbo could’ve easily teased the boy for this behavior, but knew that he was in a sensitive state. Something that Tubbo was familiar with experiencing. So instead, he rummaged through some chests and the fridge to find whipped cream and sprinkles for their drinks.
“Thanks Boo.” Tubbo thanked Ranboo with a small head but to their shoulder. Tommy wasn’t even with it enough to fake gag at the affection. “Here Tommy. It should help a bit.” Tubbo slid a dolled up mug over to him, carefully sipping his own.
The three lingered in the kitchen until their mugs were empty, only a couple more instances of thunder disturbed the peace. Ranboo collected the dirty dishes to clean, while Tubbo gave Tommy a questioning yet patient look. “Do you want to talk about it? Remember, you don’t have to.”
Tommy sighed, adjusting the blanket on his shoulders and the cow in his lap. He shut his eyes like Puffy taught him and took a couple deep breaths, Tubbo taking this time to sit in the chair next to him.
“It’s the explosions isn’t it.” Tubbo stated more than asked, keeping his voice to an almost whisper.
He opened his eyes and nodded. “That’s how it starts, yeah. Takes me back to L’manberg, and Logstedshire, and L’manberg again. Then it all comes back.” Tommy’s voice shook, “Once the memories are triggered, it just brings everything back like fucking dominos.” He closed his eyes again against unexpected tears, ”Why does it bring everything back till I feel like I’m suffocating?”
“Can I hug you?” Tubbo whispered. When the boy nodded, eyes still closed, Tubbo stood and wrapped his arms around him. The chair made it so the two were the same height for once and Tommy’s head rested comfortably on Tubbo’s shoulder. Tubbo rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe.
“I don’t know Tommy. I really don’t, and I’d love to say I do. Trust me. For all three of us really, I wish I knew.” Tubbo confessed. From his angle, he couldn’t see Ranboo, but he knew them well enough to know they were listening. “I know you have to let it out man. Though it’s easy to bottle up. Prime it’s so much easier to bottle up. But when you do, you just turn into a- a shaken up bottle of soda and…” he huffed out in frustration of both the topic and his lack of experience with being on the helping side. “Am I making any sense?”
Tommy sniffled and nodded, giving one last squeeze before pulling away. “Yeah, yeah I follow…. Ya damn hypocrite.” He chuckled through stray tears with no real malice.
Tubbo feigned shock and slapped Tommy on the shoulder, “How dare you! I am the picture of mental health!”
“Weeellll…” Ranboo joked from where they were putting the clean mugs away.
“Hey not you too!” Their husband protested.
“Well you know what they say, it takes one to know one.” The other two took a second to put together what they were implying before all three burst out laughing.
It seemed like the rain outside was slowing, the bulk of the storm having passed over now. The boys’ laughter simmered down to a chuckle or two making way for yawns.
Tubbo sighed, face turning more serious again, “I’m sorry Tommy.”
“Sorry for what Big T?” Tommy rubbed a fist over tired eyes, confused.
“I’m… not quite good at the whole comforting thi-” he was interrupted by the taller boy grabbing him into another hug.
“No. None of that. You are amazing Tubbo.”
The goat hybrid smiled with a small blush whispering his thanks to his friend. Both Brits looked over to the enderman awkwardly standing nearby and wordlessly held out an arm for them. Ranboo smiled and joined in the hug.
“Do… you think you’ll be okay?” Ranboo asked Tommy, cheek resting on the blonde’s head.
“I-” he stopped himself knowing both friends could read his lie a mile away. They both felt him grip onto their shirts anxiously. “Can I…?”
“Of course you can stay with us. That's why we made a king sized bed.” Tubbo answered his silent question with a chuckle.
“No, it’s cause I’m a long ass beanpole and you’re a kicking starfish.” Ranboo deadpanned.
This got a snort out of Tommy as he untangled himself from their group hug, “If I get hit with a single flying limb, your ass is grass.” He grinned.
“I'd like to see you try.” Tubbo responded with his signature vacant smile that always followed a casual threat.
Ranboo yawned and headed for the guest room, more than well acquainted with how their arguments went. “Just take the fighting elsewhere please or you’ll both find yourselves over a very tall cliff.”
The boys exchanged a look, silently discussing: ‘would they? Nooooo…. But are we sure?’
At the top of the stairs Ranboo let out a warning sound of a low staticky screech.
“Coming!” The two responded, shoving each other to race up the stairs.
“Ha beat ya!” Tommy huffed at the top just a second before Tubbo.
“Literal children.” Ranboo rolled their eyes fondly.
Tubbo simply patted his shoulder, letting him have this one and following his husband to their bedroom. But Tommy had suddenly paused, eyebrows pinched together, “Be right back.” he mumbled.
He made his way back to the kitchen and paused by the chair he had sat at. There he picked up and draped the blanket over his shoulders and picked up his stuffed cow. Since he knew the others couldn’t see him, he placed a kiss onto its soft head and held him close.
While he now had the comfort of friends, the feel of the toy in his arms still calmed him. And maybe it was selfish of him to need comfort from both, but as Tommy thought back to everything he had endured…. maybe he deserved to be a little selfish.