Work Text:
The Narukami Shrine is quiet, barely a whisper of a murmur in the air, all eyes on Raiden Shogun. Sara watches from a distance, watches that regal figure of her Almighty Shogun. So close to her, but an existence she’ll never reach. She needs to content herself with this, watching from a distance, being her sword, but still, she can’t help but wish for more.
A wave of nausea overcomes Sara, and she staggers, coughing up petals. She covers her mouth to catch them. Droplets of blood stain the blush pink. Her disease has rapidly progressed since she realized her feelings, but still, Sara keeps silent, both to her subordinates and to her family, and most of all, to the Shogun. No doubt she’s noticed, but still Sara does not speak on the matter, no matter how weak she grows.
With her combat abilities compromised, Sara was repositioned as Raiden Shogun’s guard, a mere decoration by her side, unable to be of assistance to her great ambitions. But still, she can watch her beloved Shogun from closer, even if she does not turn her way.
Even so, the pain in Sara’s chest and lungs cannot compare to the pain she feels in her heart as she watches Raiden Shogun converse with Yae Miko, watches that regal and heavenly visage grow almost human, a soft near smile gracing her lips. A dirty, ugly, twisted lump rises in Sara’s throat as she watches their exchange from a distance.
Another cough wracks Sara’s diminishing frame, more petals falling still, settling among the blossoms of the Sacred Sakura, scattering crimson droplets among them.
A flash of violet light and the Shogun is beside her, a cold and hard expression on her face.
“It seems you’ve gotten worse.” Her words are short, but Sara does not deserve more from the Almighty Shogun, no matter what she desires, even if it’s that warm look she gives to Yae Miko.
“Please, do not let it worry you. I will not let it interfere with my duties.” Sara bows her head shamefully. To make someone as exalted as her feel the need to check on her felt disgraceful.
“No, you should rest, at least to reduce the burden on your body.” Despite her words, the Shogun’s face is still impassive. Sara shakes her head.
“I am fine, the best I can do for myself is to serve you to the best of my abilities.”
“Even if that was an order?” Sara’s eyes widen at her words, but she lowers her head.
“If it’s as you wish, then very well.” Although she tries to hide it, Sara’s voice drips with disappointment. How shameful, to be relieved of her duties. More so, that she’ll be able to continue to watch her beloved Shogun as she carries out her great will.
Following Sara’s words comes silence, and she looks up. Much to her surprise, Raiden Shogun’s face looks perturbed, as if she were unsure of Sara’s response. But why? She responded as a faithful servant of her god, there should have been no error in her words. So why does her Shogun seem at a loss for words?
As Raiden Shogun opens her mouth to speak, another fit of coughing hits Sara, who doubles over in pain, a small dribble of blood laying trails along the petals underfoot. Sara turns her face away, she can’t look at her Shogun in such a disgraceful state. But her head is jerked upwards by a strong and graceful hand, and her eyes meet the Shogun’s.
“Who put you in such a state.” Rather than a question, the words she speaks are a demand, but Sara can only shake her head. “Who is causing my aide such pain?”
The Shogun’s words ease the pain in Sara’s chest, as if the blossoming flowers within her lungs has subsided just a bit.
“Please, do not worry for me, Shogun, your concern is already enough.” It puts Sara at ease, she is not just someone disposable to the Shogun. Someone special enough for her to show concern for the unrequited love slowly killing Sara. But Sara can never tell her that her beloved Shogun is the cause of all this pain.
The fingers holding Sara’s chin tighten, almost painfully so, but Sara doesn’t let it show on her face. How could she, when she is so close, touching that untouchable entity right now, that in itself is more than Sara could ever hope for. Then suddenly Raiden Shogun releases her, straightening her back.
“If you say so, at least rest for today though.” She tucks a strand of that deep violet hair behind her ear, looking around. “You!” She calls to a shrine maiden, who quickly approaches. “Take her somewhere she can rest.”
“Yes!” The shrine maiden gently directs Sara, who’s body suddenly feels heavy and exhausted. She staggers just a bit, holding back another flower filled cough.
Looking back, she sees that the impassive expression has loosened, something resembling concern gracing those regal features. Again, she can feel the pain ease in her chest, her urge to cough less strong. Perhaps, somewhere deep down, she still hopes for the day that this disease fades, even just a little, a small reward for Sara’s unwavering loyalty and love.