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Right away, Obi-Wan Kenobi notices how his lightsaber's kyber crystal sings for his commander. It's a happy melody, slightly different than its usual song, and it happens every time Cody is within five feet. It only gets louder after the first time Cody hands him back the lightsaber he had dropped.
Obi-Wan was annoyed. He had always taken good care of his lightsabers and had never dropped it the way he did the first time. The way it continued to just... leap out of his hands. Sometimes at the most inopportune moments. He had heard of kyber crystals being in tune with other people. Had heard of them being fond of other people. He had never heard of the kyber crystals causing lightsabers to fall into another's hand at increasing and alarming frequency.
For the first time, Obi-Wan worried that he would have to give up his lightsaber. But it was fine with him using it, it just wanted to be near Cody all the time. Obi-Wan wasn't sure what resonated with the crystal so much, and didn't know what to do about it.
After seeing some of Cody's rather alarming battle tactics (really, kicking droids? Tackling them?), he decided that if the lightsaber was going to end up with Cody that frequently, it was time for Cody to get lessons in lightsaber forms so he could actually make use of it.
“What are we doing here, sir?” Cody asked nervously, looking around the small training area. It was a private area reserved only for the generals. They were lucky to have it, though Obi-Wan generally preferred to train with his men around so they could get used to him. He also wasn't entirely used to training completely on his own, rarely ever taking a training room for himself at the Temple.
“My lightsaber has a way of ending up in your hands. If that is going to continue happening, you might as well learn how to use it. I thought you might be more comfortable in a more private setting, at least for the first few lessons.”
Cody stared at him. “Lightsaber lessons? Me? But I'm just a clone...”
“None of you are just clones. You have your own unique personalities, your own unique force presence. Yours is particularly pleasant, and apparently my lightsaber likes it.”
Cody blushed, wishing he could hide his reaction. Then he blinked as the rest of that sentence caught up with him. “Your lightsaber, sir?”
“Yes, the crystal is force sensitive and attuned to me- but it sometimes finds force presences it likes around me. That's why you keep finding it whenever I lose it, and hardly anyone else does.”
“O-oh...” Cody cleared his throat, well aware he was acting like a shiny. And praying he wasn't acting like some teen with a crush. Because he did kind of have a crush on his general. And no experience since unlike many of his brothers, he never got around to experimenting on Kamino, and then it was straight to war. “So, how do we do this.”
Obi-Wan grinned. “I'll teach you the forms.” He pulled out two training sabers. “And then we'll do a short sparring session at the end every time. When you get more comfortable we'll go longer.”
Cody accepted the training saber, and looked it over, noticing just how different it was from the actual lightsabers he had seen. For one, there didn't really seem to be any additional settings beyond on and off. Which made sense, he supposed. If they were for training, they would already be set at the right setting to just burn or not cause injury.
He turned it on and swished it around experimentally, ignoring the nagging voice reminding him that he is not nor will he ever be a Jedi and only Jedi could wield lightsabers. Ignoring the voice telling him that if any of the longnecks or even just the wrong people got wind of this he would be on his way to decommissioning in an instant.
This was what his general wanted him to do. It was practically an order, and he would treat it as such. The General was good at trying not to order everyone around if they weren't in battle, if it wasn't important. He liked to give everyone a choice. But the clones were raised to obey everything, so it wouldn't be hard to argue that he was ordered to practice.
He turned his head as the General turned on his lightsaber. Seeing the training saber in his hand didn't quite look... right. But he understood that the General just wanted him to have the opportunity to get better before going against him properly.
“So to start with, I'm going to be teaching you Shii-Cho today. We'll go through the beginnings of each of the forms- Makashi, Soresu, Ataru, Djem-So, and Niiman being the others- and then we'll determine which one or ones you are most comfortable with and focus on those. Shii-Cho is the first lightsaber forms initiates are taught, and it is rare that a Jedi actually specializes in it, though it is always our fallback.”
Cody nodded, determined to get this right. To prove that he was indeed worthy of this honor, even parts of him protested.
Obi-Wan smiled at him in approval then stood in front of Cody, showing him the most basic form. It was only twenty-five moves in total, making it the easiest. Other sets of Shii-Cho had far more moves, but twenty-five was a good number to start with. A good number for the initiates just starting out.
He was pleased to see Cody catching on quickly. Cody never complained about the repetitions. He never seemed resentful, or upset in any way about the extra lessons. And his muscle memory was impressive, though that was a common thing with all clones. Some took longer than others, but once it was in their muscle memory, it never seemed to leave.
Months past. Cody did well in his spars, getting better and better. He would never be able to beat a Jedi and their senses most likely, but he could rival them in sheer skill. Many relied too much on the Force and not enough on actually knowing the proper movements. Cody was specializing in Makashi and Soresu, the dueling and defense styles being very fitting for him. He also knew moves from Djem-So but despite his normal aggression had decided against it as he wasn't going to be using a lightsaber all the time. Only when the General's showed up and he had that option.
Despite the General's lightsaber showing up frequently, Cody didn't use it when he didn't need it. He wanted to keep the lessons as quiet as possible. He would never be ready for the teasing of his brothers. He wanted to put it off as long as he could.
Until one day they came across Grievous. Cody didn't hesitate, he pulled out the lightsaber, activated it, and blocked three of four lightsabers Grievous had swung at him. The other he managed to dodge. Cody breathed, trying to calm himself. Obi-Wan had taught the troops basic mediation, and introduced moving meditation to them. It was something many loved as it greatly reduced nightmares and helped them come to terms with things that had happened. The medics were grateful as it cut down on visits to the medbay down by reducing tempers.
The meditation was something Cody found himself utilizing a lot to get through the repetitions of the forms, to get anywhere near a state he could best the General. And now, it was saving his life, and the squad with him. He took a deep breath and pushed Grievous back, ignoring the aggressive comments about him wielding a lightsaber. He just needed to last a few minutes or get the other to retreat. He could do this.
He fell into a rhythm of duck block strike. The sounds of the lightsaber a soothing backdrop to the fight as it went on. He stopped worrying about his ability to hold up against Grievous, whom most Jedi struggled against. He just had to survive, to hold off Grievous long enough for Obi-Wan to appear or to convince Grievous it was time to retreat.
One pattern that had been noticed was that as soon as things got anywhere near tough, Grievous would retreat. He preferred to not risk it. A coward, some called him. This worked in the GAR's favor as it helped reduce their losses if they could just get that General to retreat.
Cody could feel sweat dripping down his face as the fight went on. Longer than any spar he had done with Obi-Wan. But those experiences were fueling his fight, and the meditation was driving him forward. Block, block, duck, block, strike- yell of agony. Wait yell of agony?
He blinked and saw that he had managed to slice through one of the lightsaber hilts, and straight into Grievous' hand and body. He breathed heavily, but evenly, back in a ready stance (Soresu), waiting to see what Grievous would do. Blaster bolts started slamming into the lightsabers, and with one last disdainful comment, Grievous fled.
The commander stumbled as he turned off the lightsaber. He couldn't believe he had done it. He was sure that blow was through sheer dumb luck. But he survived. He blinked as someone caught him. Boil.
“Where the heck did you learn to do that? When did you have time for that?”
He chuckled as he managed to regain his balance. “The General insisted with me finding his lightsaber so often, we used some of our paperwork time and his private training room. How long was I fighting?”
“It was like a full half an hour!” A shiny exclaimed enthusiastically. “It was so amazing!”
“Well, that explains the exhaustion.” And feeling like my legs can't support me. Cody sighed. “I haven't done any sparring longer than ten minutes with the General... So, what's going on elsewhere?”
“Sounds like everyone's wrapping up what they're doing, we need to finish the sweep.” Waxer stepped up. “You are up for that, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I'll manage. I think it's just the adrenaline, and maybe using moving meditation too much.” Cody straightened and hooked the lightsaber back where it belonged. “Let's go.”
They continued on, the two shinies whispering to each other excitedly about what they had witnessed. Cody allowed himself a small sigh. This was going to be all over the 212th in mere hours, and he would be lucky if it took more than a day to start spreading all over the galaxy. His brothers would never let him live this down.
At the same time, he had no regrets. His plan B was to just outright tackle Grievous and maybe even have the others help him with that. It... was not his best plan. Probably would've worked with how cowardly the general was, but not ideal either.
He was very relieved when they finished their route and made it to the rendezvous point. Cody was ready to collapse. He at least needed to stretch out his sore muscles before he started in on paperwork. He didn't always stretch, but Obi-Wan had been enforcing it with the saber lessons because the moves required more flexibility and used muscles in a way different than what Cody was used to.
He'd done practices with both armor on and off, and he was grateful they'd both realized that the armor would inhibit some of the moves. Which led to them adapting the moves for armor allowing Cody to still utilize the lightsaber as efficiently as possible. That was one of the reasons he went for Makashi and Soresu, they tended to need a little less flexibility than some of the others.
Without his usual quip he passed the lightsaber back to Obi-Wan as they prepared for giving their report. Obi-Wan looked him over after he'd removed his bucket.
“Are you okay, commander?”
“I am, I just need to stretch. I uh, fought Grievous for thirty minutes apparently.”
“Yes, your squad was very vocal about that fact over comms.”
Cody immediately regretted taking his bucket off and groaned, blushing lightly, and resisting the urge to bury his head in his hands. “They're never going to let me live this one down.”
“Most likely not. You will be stretching, correct?”
“I'm looking forward to it. But first... we need to report in, give orders, then I can go do that.”
“Hmm, yes. I would like to discuss your impression on that fight, and see if there's any areas we need to improve on before we get to our usual practice.”
“Understood, sir.” Cody nodded. He didn't like that they were so formal in public, but at the same time, he liked that they could use names and be casual when practicing, or when doing paperwork together. It showed a good amount of trust, and some sense about keeping their roles straight when in the thick of things.
But all it did when in private was make him want more, want to be able to be affectionate and touchy with Obi-Wan in public. To call him by his name in public. Obi-Wan made him feel like more of a person in those lessons. He wished he didn't feel so separated from his men, that he could derive the same sort of comfort from them that they got from themselves.
Cody had always been the one looking out for others, with only a few others looking out for him. Fox, Wolffe, and some of the other commanders, but mostly Fox and Wolffe were the ones closest to him, but he couldn't rely on them anymore. In fact, he often found himself being the rock for Fox whenever they got leave. Fox was dealing with some rough osik as part of the Coruscant Guard.
Wolffe was too busy taking care of the Wolfpack these days to do too much support of others. He knew they would drop everything (but their duties) if he asked, but he couldn't do that to them. And as Commander of the 212th he had to keep some distance, be their superior. ...And he spent a lot of time being support for those that needed support, when he wasn't buried in paperwork.
The report went smoothly, and Obi-Wan had elected to not share exactly how Cody and his squad held off Grievous, just that they did so. Thankfully, the Council tended to be fine with just vague answers about it. Probably one too many descriptions of poorly thought out plans from Jedi like Skywalker. Cody was relieved when their orders amounted to 'rest and prepare for the next mission. That we haven't figured out yet.'
Apparently Obi-Wan had been held up by some rather persistent droids at the opposite end of things. He kept getting stopped as he headed in that direction. He had been rather close when Cody had finally driven Grievous off.
A good break would be nice, even in space. A lot of the time they were going from mission to mission with very little time between- often the Council already had a mission for them by the time they finished their current campaign.
Anything to start catching up on the paperwork again. It was building up too much for comfort again. He was probably going to need to work twelve hours a day just to get through it. He issued orders to his men about making the most of the downtime and starting a rotation to ensure everyone had a good amount of time off duty while still getting work done.
With that done, he was quite pleased that it was time to go stretch. He was already getting stiff from standing still for far too long. He went to his room to change his blacks out. He wasn't planning on doing anything but stretching, so he didn't want to wear the ones he went into combat with. He left his armor behind to go meet up with Obi-Wan in the training room. He wouldn't need it for their plans, and it needed some work before he could use it again. He had noticed some disturbingly melted spots from apparently too close brushes with lightsabers. He really had been lucky in his fight.
He started stretching carefully, beginning with the stretching routine that clones had been introduced to young and then transitioning to the more complicated ones the Jedi used. Well, not all were more complicated. They just were more difficult because he was only just now getting used to them after having never had to use stretches for the particular muscles they were targeting. Or they didn't require the flexibility the Jedi stretches did. He was becoming more flexible though, he'd noticed. That was a nice side effect.
Cody finished up and shook it out and sighed. That felt better. Outside of the muscle strain and exhaustion, he knew he had a good few bruises. But he would deal with that later.
He then looked around and frowned. It was unusual for Obi-Wan to be this late. He grimaced and pulled out his holopad. He might as well get a start on the paperwork while he waited. Or at least get an idea of how much he had to do. Maybe begin sorting out his messages. He didn't make it far into that before Obi-Wan walked in. Fresh from a shower and wearing clean robes.
“There you are Cody, already stretched out I take it?”
“I couldn't wait any longer. I was getting pretty stiff and sore. Probably going to have to stretch again at least once before I go to bed.”
“Ah, good good.” Obi-Wan sat down next to him. “What were your impressions of your fight?”
“Grievous is a coward. He just needs the slightest sign that he might lose and he's gone. He came close to getting a limb or killing me multiple times, I have no clue how I survived honestly, but as soon as I sliced through a lightsaber, his hand, and into his torso, he was out of there. Even with that wound, I think if I had to fight him much longer I would have lost. I was slowing down.
“The only reason I wasn't in pain or at least felt like I was in pain from the strain was because I had ended up getting into a meditative state because I couldn't concentrate on anything but surviving. I'm so glad I've been practicing Soresu for the defense, because that saved my life. I think Makashi helped too, some of his techniques seemed rooted in that.”
“Yes, that does make sense. Dooku is a master of Makashi, and he taught Grievous. Like I told you, Makashi is good for lightsaber on lightsaber duels. It's good for other types of fighting too, but is most effective against other lightsabers. But Soresu is great for defense. I'm glad you were able to hold him off.”
“Yeah, me too. But the teasing is going to be terrible,” Cody groaned. “The two shinies in my squad were absolutely delighted to have witnessed it. And most of the 212th is going to love it... and then there's going to be the rumors about what you giving me private lessons means.”
Obi-Wan laughed. “I'd happily give them all lessons if they asked me to. But I'm sure that's not what you mean.” Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at him.
Cody blushed and ducked his head, noticing a new message as he did so. From Waxer So are you and the General kriffing? He groaned and shoved it at Obi-Wan. “That's what I was talking about. I can't believe them.”
Obi-Wan took the comm looked at it and chuckled though there was a faint blush on his cheeks. “I'm familiar with these types of jokes- you have met Quinlan, right?”
“Oh, Vos? What about him?”
“He's actually one of my closest friends, from the time we were younglings. And there's only one way to get at these sorts of people when they get on jokes like this.”
“And what's that?”
Obi-Wan smirked. Cody nearly melted into a puddle at the sight. “You take it seriously, and give them just enough hints that they have no clue what is actually going on. Are we dating? Or just friends? Are we kriffing? Or just oblivious?”
“And what, you'd be willing to play along with that?” Cody asked before he could think better of it, heart beating fast.
“Actually, I want more than to play along with that, but yes, I don't mind pulling one over on our men. It'll be entertaining.”
Cody blinked a few times. His brain rebooted. “Um. You don't just want to play along with that?” He wished he had his bucket with to hide his burning face. “I uh... would love to... date you.” His mouth said without permission. He buried his head in his hands again. That's embarrassing. Why did he say that?
He looked up when Obi-Wan placed a hand on his shoulder. “I would love that too,” the Jedi said warmly with a smile. “I must say though, Cody, you're so good at everything I wasn't expecting this.”
Cody took a deep breath and leaned into the touch. “I never experimented. Most of the others did. I was too busy protecting my brothers, especially Rex, and trying to stay on top of classes. I was terrified of failing in anyway. And then war happened and I don't exactly want to date anyone under me, and not many people are interested in clones, and when would I have time? I don't know how Skywalker and Senator Amidala manage it.”
“Ah, you noticed them too.” Obi-Wan shook his head. “I feel the same worry about dating someone I'm technically in charge of. But you're not just a commander, Cody. You're a Marshall Commander, and even if on paper I'm above you, have we ever used that in practice? I rely on you for the skills you learned about war. Jedi aren't made for war, we're peacekeepers. Meant to protect, not... what we're doing.”
“I never thought about it like that. And it's not like I actually listen to everything you say unless its in front of others...”
“And if we're dating, or even hinting at that you can get away with ignoring me more.”
“That's true...” Cody nodded. Then he paused. “So... are we dating now?”
“I guess we are.” Obi-Wan chuckled. “Shall we go tackle the paperwork dear?”
“I need to answer Waxer first.” Cody considered the message for a bit. Then nodded decisively and typed. What makes you ask a question like that? I just didn't want to make a fool of myself learning saber moves. But if you keep asking stupid questions like that, I might tell the General you and the rest of the men don't actually want to try it out yourselves. Since my lessons have apparently been so successful, he's thinking about extending it to everyone, you know.
Obi-Wan leaned over his shoulder and laughed. “Nice evasion. It might even take a few days for him to realize you didn't answer the question at all, let alone with the vehement denials I'm sure he was expecting.”
Cody grinned and leaned back. “Hmm. I could get used to being this close. Let's walk closer than usual on the way to the office. Give them a hint, but nothing obvious.”
“Devious. You're catching on.”
“When I wasn't being super anxious about failing, I did my fair share of pranking. Especially those who deserved it. Good way to let off steam and drive brothers crazy.” He took Obi-Wan's offered hand and stood up.
“Excellent, we shall get along even better than I predicted. I really do need to tell you more about my younger years. Anakin has been missing out, you know.”
“Skywalker is oblivious to anything that's not beneath his nose, and even when you try to spell it out he determinedly pretends he didn't hear that. It does not surprise me that you are more than the image you put out.”
By the time they entered the main hall, with only a few inches between them, their arms frequently knocking together, they were laughing. Obi-Wan had started off the stories with some pranks he had gotten away with because no one suspected him when he wasn't working with Quinlan Vos. Cody started telling a story about when he'd gotten back at Wolffe and Fox when they were still skeptical about Rex's abilities.
He had just gotten past what they had done to deserve it when men walking past them did double takes. One walked too close to the wall and bumped into it. It just made them laugh harder. Cody continued with the storytelling.
By the time they got to their shared office (since it was so much easier to do paperwork when they could easily consult each other), they were in hysterics, unable to talk and nearly holding each other up. They had seen several comical reactions, and all they were doing was laughing and walking closely together, nothing crazy.
“Oh, I can't wait to see the rumors!” Cody laughed as they let themselves fall to the floor. “It's going to be amazing.” He noticed Obi-Wan looking at him with a tender look. “...what?”
“You look good when you laugh. I don't really get to see that. You should laugh more.”
“Keep giving me reasons to laugh and I will,” Cody countered with a smile. He rested his forehead on Obi-Wan's, content to just leave it at that for now. He was grateful that Obi-Wan seemed just as content with it for now. He wasn't sure he was quite ready for kissing yet, for all that he had a huge crush on the other man. It was enough for now that they were dating, and getting closer.
But first, paperwork.
After they both had sorted out their desks and gotten organized, Cody had to ask. “So how long do you think before the news about me using your lightsaber and the rumors about us kriffing make it across the galaxy?” Obi-Wan laughed.
“I expect it shouldn't take long depending on who talks to who- I expect Rex will be one of the first to know. You know most of Ghost Company loves to torment you both by passing on gossip.”
“Don't remind me about last time.” As if on cue, Cody's comm chimed. He laughed at the message from Rex. “'What's this about you using General Kenobi's lightsaber to hold off GRIEVOUS?' You were right, this is entertaining, and we haven't even gotten to the point of him asking about our relationship yet.” Cody went to type in a response, then pause. “What's the response that might cause the biggest freak out?”
“Oh, good instincts. Tell him something about how since the lightsaber kept coming to you so much because it likes you, I decided to teach you how to use it and mention that I was a bit confused because lightsabers are our soul. If I understand their dynamic well, I think he'll ask Ahsoka and get an interesting answer.”
“Okay... 'When General Kenobi realized that the lightsaber kept turning up with me whenever he managed to lose it, he thought it would be best I knew how to use it, though he seemed kind of perturbed because apparently the lightsaber likes me and lightsabers are a Jedi's soul?'”
“That would do it.” Obi-Wan nodded. They went back to their paperwork and started making a dent between casual conversation, bursts of frustration, and some laughter over the ridiculousness of the paperwork- some redundant and unnecessary, some showing them how stupid both clones and natborns could be, and some just plan funny situations.
They were taking a short break- contrary to popular belief they did not work through for hours. Their brains couldn't take it. Instead they took short breaks usually every hour or two, but sometimes more often if they were struggling. It was the only way they kept their sanity when getting through the often insane stacks of it.
“Ah, now Rex responds.” Cody looked it over and laughed. “And now he's questioning the relationship bit. 'so I talked to Ahsoka and you know how the lightsaber is your life thing is actually because the kyber crystals are specifically attuned to the Jedi and it actually helps them fight? And so it is actually a reflection of their soul because either that kyber crystal chose them for a reason or it's been through a lot with them and has grown with them? Um, is there something you're not telling me about how close you and the General are?' Oh, he has no idea.” Cody sighed, and glanced at Obi-Wan. “I do wish we had figured it out sooner.”
Obi-Wan shrugged as he placed the tea on the desk for them to drink, along with some tea snacks he always had hidden somewhere just for this. “Sometimes, it's better for a good friendship to be built before throwing romance and sex at it. Some people do better going for those right away or as soon as they develop feelings, but others do better with a solid foundation to fall back on.”
Cody hummed. “I wouldn't know, I have no experience.”
“Have you not bothered browsing the holonet? You can find all kinds of stories on there- real and fiction- about romance and relationships. It's actually quite a fascinating study on the nature of sentience. Despite differences in evolution, and brain chemistry, healthy relationships generally look the same across species.”
“Huh. Maybe I should take the time to do that. If we can ever get through the paperwork.”
Obi-Wan grinned. “I can recommend some books and sites for you to start with, and then you can do some exploring on your own.” His comm beeped.
Cody drank a little more tea and nodded. “I'd like that. I maybe have been working too hard because now that I really think about it, my only hobby has been the lightsaber lessons.” He set the tea down and only then considered how to respond to Rex.
“I wish I had noticed sooner, everyone needs some sort of break, you know.”
“I know.” Cody responded then focused back on the message. Nothing unusual here. You know the General, he cares for everyone. Still confused as to why his lightsaber likes me so much, but it certainly saved my shebs from Grievous. You really think there's something to the idea that as it's his soul it means something about us? Like dating? Come on Rex, you know I don't have time for that.
Obi-Wan opened up his comm and laughed. “Ah, now Ahsoka is having her own freak out about this. Time to get in a couple of philosophy lessons in. Force knows that Anakin neglects that even for himself.” Cody chuckled a bit as they focused on their own comms.
Master, you really taught Cody how to use a lightsaber because yours likes him so much? Isn't that... against the Code or something?
There is nothing wrong with teaching someone to defend themselves. A lot of the moves we use in varying forms show up in other sword styles across the galaxy. It is hard to transition from a lightsaber to a real blade, but the theory is still there even if the weight and balance is different.
Okay, but what about your lightsaber liking him so much, what does that mean?
Doesn't yours sing when it's near Master Plo? Or Anakin or myself? At varying intensities with slightly different melodies, I'm sure. Some of it is because you like them, and your kyber is attuned to you. Sometimes, they see things we can't see ourselves, and something about his core personality resonates with who I am. It doesn't have to mean anything.
But it could mean he's a good match though, right? 'cause lightsabers are our heart and soul and someone who a lightsaber so much that they somehow ends up in that person's hand means something, right?
It doesn't have to. Have you had your classes on gender and sexuality yet?
...No, I have to take that one in person.
Ah, okay. For now, I'll keep it simple. You can be attracted to the binary of male and female- one or both, even if it is the same gender. You can be attracted to all genders. It can not matter at all. And some, some aren't attracted to anyone at all. Romantically or sexually. A good match doesn't have to mean a romantic or sexual relationship, it can just mean a good match platonically and best friends.
Now I just want to know more. I'm going to sign up to take that course the next cycle, I'm due to spend ninety days in the Temple anyways, it just keeps getting put off.
I know, and I'm sorry you can't keep to the usual padawan class schedule.
It's not all that bad, you know. I'll just sign up for all the ones that have to be in person and have a packed schedule and then I don't have to worry about them again.
You can always ask me if you need help. Anakin did well enough, but often struggled, so I am not sure how much he retains.
I've had to explain things to him when asking him for help. I'll definitely ask you for help. A beat, then a second message from Ahsoka came in. So, what if it is romantic and/or sexual? What about the Code?
You're not going to drop this are you, little one?
Anakin isn't always the best at explaining things with the code and he tends to be more 'do as I say not as I do' which makes it really hard to keep things straight.
...Padme?
You KNOW?
Please, at the start of the war they kissed before being brought into the arena, I could see them. I'm not sure how serious their relationship is, but it has to be at least somewhat serious the way they keep making the effort to talk and spend time together. Also, some of the Council and half the temple plus even some of the clone commanders have a bet going on about it. They're not too subtle.
But what about the Code? Why is he not in trouble?
There are several things that are in play here. Let's start off with the simplest one. Despite marrying tending to be against Jedi Order doctrine- note, not the Code itself- there are exceptions. Master Ki-Adi Mundi is one of those as his people are in danger of dying out due to how few males there are. He has several wives and daughters.
One could argue in Anakin's favor that Padme seems to help keep him stable rather than make him more in danger of Falling. That said, he has come alarmingly close with her constantly getting herself into trouble. I suspect that he might Fall if there was no other option to save her. So there is a thin line we're walking there.
On one side, he's definitely more stable and balanced, and therefore better able to meet his responsibilities thanks to her. On the other, he is far more in danger of Falling, and when he loses her, he is very likely to lose his balance and be worse than before her. That is actually why we have not said anything, as we do not want to risk making things worse, and if we acknowledge the obvious relationship, then we have to at least push him through a lot of our checks and balances for relationships- which he is almost guaranteed to fail, and we cannot afford to ground him right now. Not with how popular he is on the news.
On top of that, if we do say something, there is a chance he will panic and react poorly even with being handled with care and us trying to be supportive to help him through the process. Or he might panic because he doesn't want to follow through with the mind healers.
Okay, that's good reasons. But how does Anakin not get this? Why does he think he'll be in big trouble if he leaves?
Anakin struggles with nuance, and he consistently thinks the world is out to get him. That is why he can recite the theory to you but not explain it or apply it to real situations if there's no obvious consequences. He got off on the wrong foot with the Council, and has distrusted them all since, there's actually even some suspicion on me now because I'm on the Council myself.
He almost wasn't accepted into the Order because he had such strong feelings he struggled with controlling- and he refused to admit to the feelings to the Council on top of that. If he'd admitted to them, he may have actually been better off in their eyes. Since you can't let go of feelings you won't admit to having.
Okay, I can see that. So what are the other things at play with the Code?
We have nothing explicitly saying no one can be in a relationship. Due to the nature of our vows to the Order and the Force, of course, most people choose to just have bedmates and seek comfort in crechemates. A relationship is possible, but it is hard to balance. Most marriage vows involve pledging yourself to one another above all else. That of course conflicts with the Order. If you can prove that you'll put duty above love, that you can let go as necessary, that you won't go crazy and Fall when you lose your love, you get leeway.
They still like to pretend that its not happening, unless it's a cultural requirement like Master Mundi's is. But other vows are somewhat possible- the Mandalorian wedding vows translate to something like 'We are one together, we are one apart, we share all, we will raise warriors.' That one is possible to adhere to without interfering with duty.
And where does the code factor in?
The Code is just a mantra mostly used for meditation. After some research, I believe it is not necessarily something that needs to be adhered to at all times regardless of what is going on but rather something to ease the meditation process of letting go.
There is no emotion, there is peace- we need peace in our minds, and ultimately, no matter where you are in your life, what your role is, you do need to be at peace with yourself and not let your emotions rule you.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge- it is our duty to do our best to keep learning, to never stop. Ignorance can cause wars, can cause genocides. We need to strive to be knowledgeable.
There is no passion, there is serenity- passion can make things worse, because it is fueled by intense emotion, sometimes negative, sometimes positive, and it clouds logic and judgement, serenity meanwhile allows us to remain calm and cool even in the worst of situations.
There is no chaos, there is harmony- when things are chaotic, people get lost and neglected, when things are in harmony, any failings are far more obvious.
There is no death, there is the Force. Even when people die, we have the Force to guide us and see us through. When we die, we join the Force. The Force is full of the people who have past- they may not have retained their identities anymore, but they are still one with the Force.
Although I do favor the version we learned in the creche better, saying emotion yet peace, ignorance yet knowledge and so on, acknowledges that those things exist, but we should be aiming for better. That we have emotions and can be at peace. We can be ignorant while knowledgeable in many things and learning new things. We can be passionate and yet let the calm serenity forward when we need clear heads. Things are always chaotic but harmony still exists and is something we strive for. Death is something that everyone experiences, and we shouldn't ignore that just because we return to the Force.
...All that to say, there is nothing in either version that denies the ability to love, denies relationships.
I see... It's all about being able to look past the feelings to do what is right rather than what is easy, rather than what we selfishly want to do. And then if we can think clearly, we might be able to choose both instead of just one.
Just so. Relationships are still a sticky subject within the Order- there's stigma due to just how easy it is for a relationship to turn bad, for love to turn to attachment and selfish desire. How easy it is to Fall when love is lost. But at the same time, is not feeling love at all any better for many Jedi? I cannot say I would have been better off if I did not struggle with 'attachment' as many on the Council and many Jedi saw it when I was twelve.
'Attachment' has saved my life at times, and has given me drive to keep going even when I just want to hide away from the world. There is also the fact that it can be very hard for a Jedi to find someone outside the Order who is willing to deal with the duty, someone who understands- which is one of the reasons Padme is one of the better choices Anakin could've gone with.
So it's really 'attachment' or rather selfish possession that is the problem, but a lot of people see love as the exact same thing, even though love can help one through hard times and keep one stable. But love also comes with greater risks? I suppose then, if someone relies too much on one person they'll almost certainly Fall when they lose that person, but then if they had a greater support network- people who stand in for brothers and sisters and parents and kids, they will be less likely to Fall because they haven't lost everything.
Very good Ahsoka. That is precisely the problem. Which means, that if Cody and I were to be in a relationship and be public about it- all because my lightsaber likes him for some reason- we would be under a lot of scrutiny, but if we can fight for our relationship, and can jump through all the hoops the Order requires to stay in the relationship- which by the way requires several psych evals, individual and couples therapy, a lot of meditation, and tests, we could stay together.
Even better if we take a wedding vow that does not interfere with my vow to the order or modify one to work with it. But, of course that is all hypothetical. And do be careful if you have an assignment about this; a lot of what I said will not be accepted by the teachers. Though that could be my own bad experiences speaking; I had more issues than most in getting in trouble for what some call 'attachment'.
I will be careful to give the teachers what they want to hear on assignments. So... is there anything I can do for Anakin with this?
It should never be on the padawan to take care of their master. Let me worry about it. I have not yet run out of ways to try to tell him that everyone knows. If I have to, I will be telling Padme and letting her try to get it through his head. She's the only one he ever even considers listening to when he's made up his mind about something. All you need to do is be yourself. He very likely sees you as a little sister. So be that for him. Let him love you, and show that you love him. That's all you can do for now. When you're a senior padawan we will reevaluate.
And when's that going to be?
It should be when you're 18 provided that you've passed the minimum amount of classes. It would not surprise me if they give you duties of a senior padawan earlier because of our lack of numbers and the amount of dangerous missions you've already on.
What would that mean?
Mostly? Going on missions on your own. Likely low risk ones to free up more Knights or senior padawans close to being Knighted.
Oh. Well.... that's probably a way off, isn't it?
You'd be surprised. Now, if we're done with this discussion, I really need to be getting back to the paperwork.
Better you than me. I'm going to go bother Anakin. I'm pretty sure he's on a holocall with Padme so this is the perfect time to bother him.
Spoken like a true sibling. Have fun.
Obi-Wan set his comm down and picked up the first of the stack with a sigh. That had been a good break, but now it was back to it. After finishing a few of the stack, he looked up to Cody.
“So how did your conversation with Rex go?”
“Not as long as your conversation with Ahsoka. But I think I have him convinced that I have feelings for you and they might be reciprocated but I'm just completely clueless about what he's talking about. I think he gave up on the conversation out of rage actually. Can't wait to see him in person to watch him try not to explode.”
Obi-Wan laughed. “I'm going to enjoy that. Seeing anyone almost explode over what amounts to a prank is always entertaining.”
“So philosophy lessons with Ahsoka?”
“Can you see Anakin teaching her philosophy? It was actually some good questions about the Code and where relationships fit in with that. If you want to know, I'll show you the conversation. I don't want to rehash it so soon after explaining it to someone else.”
“You know the men like to say she's our commander too since you seem to do just as much teaching of her as Anakin.”
“Well, that is true, although that is partially because Anakin was not ready to be Knighted- he may have had the skills, but he did not have the mindset or discipline required for it. But in practice, Knights are supposed to ask for help as much as possible. There's a reason padawans are supposed to have classes til they're 18 which is when they're promoted to senior padawan. Even then, knights are to be willing to ask other knights and masters to fill in the gaps in their own knowledge to ensure their padawan gets an adequate education.”
“Well, I suppose it doesn't matter much does it? As long as she gets what she needs.”
“Precisely.”
They both returned to their work, occasionally making comments and laughing at the work they were doing. Somehow, changing their relationship made it more fun. Or maybe it was just the giddiness of acknowledging their feelings and acting on them that made it fun. Either way, the time went by, and on their next break, Cody read over the comm conversation about the Code and relationships.
He didn't have much to say about it, choosing the mull it over in his mind. It was interesting. He had forgotten that the Jedi had their Code and their issues with attachment. But it didn't much surprise him that for all that Obi-Wan appeared to be the model Jedi, that he didn't follow the conventional beliefs to the letter. Obi-Wan was too good at skirting the line and exploiting loopholes to be the model Jedi that Anakin thought he was. Somehow.
Eventually they settled back into their work, content to be working in the same room and able to exchange comments here and there. And drink tea together of course.
.
Over the following months, Obi-Wan enlisted Cody to help him teach the others how to utilize lightsabers (after making off with more training sabers). It was enjoyable. It also brought more teasing, but Obi-Wan either teased back or acted clueless depending on the teasing and his mood. Cody meanwhile kept up his usual strict persona and either ignored them or acted just as clueless.
A betting pool sprang up overnight. Neither of them commented on it outwardly, though they discussed trying to place some sort of bets on themselves. But revealing that they knew about the betting pool would reveal that they weren't as clueless as the men thought.
Cody continued his private lessons with Obi-Wan though they were often less intense, less frequent, and didn't take as long. It was alright though, every so often Obi-Wan ran him through the drills in a way that increased their effectiveness.
Endless repetitions without break for Soresu, a form of endurance. Endless practices on hitting the smallest dot without error for Makashi, the dueling form reliant on sharp, accurate attacks. Flexibility and flipping practice for Ataru, which relied on utilizing the space around an opponent. Training weights while performing the forms for strength to augment Djem-So. Combining all while doing Niman, the most neutral of them. Those days were exhausting but very satisfying, especially as this was Obi-Wan's own routine for practicing. He explained that he liked to be grounded in the basics of all forms, so he practiced them like that all the time. And the benefits on working on the strengths of all the forms showed in the others as well.
When they finished, they'd get cleaned up and go cuddle, having slowly moved into kissing, but not much further for now. They were content to not push things too far too fast. Especially since their dates at the moment were basically training and paperwork. They also occasionally sparred and competed in everything they could, even shooting blasters. Obi-Wan proved to be a better shot than expected for having a strong disdain for the blasters.
He refrained from giving his usual answer about them being uncivilized and tried to explain it to Cody. “It's... blasters are so easy. They're impersonal. You can just shoot and kill, without thinking about it. Without thinking it through. You can kill someone without being close enough to look them in the eye. You can kill someone without ever getting close enough to talk. It's just... it's too easy to abuse. Now, I'm not saying that lightsabers are better, but...” he shrugged.
“They're a bigger deterrent than blasters, so if someone attacks they're desperate, stupid, or going to kill you. It's easier to know that it's okay to kill them. Not that killing is okay, but when someone is fighting you up close and personal, sometimes that's the only way out. With a blaster, can you truly say it's your only option most of the time. That said, they're certainly useful, and I don't begrudge you or the vode the choice to use them. It's just not for me unless I don't have much of a choice left.”
Another change was that Cody stopped trying to force armor onto Obi-Wan, though he himself had started wearing his armor to some of his lightsaber practices to better be able to transfer the moves over to actual fighting. It was thanks to that he realized just how hard it was to wear armor and use a lightsaber with the forms the Jedi knew. So he adapted, and came up with better ways to keep Obi-Wan protected. Which worked, thankfully. The medics thanked him for giving Obi-Wan some sense of self-preservation.
Cody brushed it off as no big deal. After properly dating for a few months, he knew the truth behind the lack of self preservation. Some of it was just that the armor was hard for a Jedi to wear. Some of it was that Obi-Wan could do something to save lives, and so he did, even if it put his at risk. That was something that Jedi did, though most did seem to be a little more cautious.
But through conversations, it became apparent to Cody that throughout his padawanship, the most consistent way he got praise and approval was when he did the Jedi thing and sacrificed himself. It made him sick to think that a thirteen year old Obi-Wan only became a padawan because he volunteered to blow himself up, and that convinced Master Jinn he would be a worthy Jedi.
Besides, all it took was asking Obi-Wan what he would think if Cody tried pulling the same sorts of stunts for him to slow down and consider better paths. He still risked himself, but he often took precautions, or told others what he was doing. It was a much better system.
The war went on. All the while they grew closer and closer, Obi-Wan's lightsaber singing with the rightness of it. The teasing got worse over time, and their laughter grew at the situation. It got to the point where the two of them could be discussing the pool about Anakin and Padme and when they'd come clean and they would get some rolling eyes and comments about 'how oblivious can you be?' It was worth it.
Obi-Wan and Cody were a team, a couple. They were close to saying vows of some sort, though they wanted to make it to the end of the war first. Both were tempted to just break it out in the middle of the battlefield one of these days just to see the reactions. Mostly, they just wanted to have their family with them on that day, even if they could say it in private. The day they said it was the day they wanted to stop fooling everyone into thinking they were oblivious idiots in love. If they made it official, no way were they ever going to keep it a secret again.
But that day was still far away. They just had to make it to the end of the war. Somehow.