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The war was over, finally after a year and a half of endless fighting and loss, it was done. Like the sun shining on his face, everything was settling down.
Gadget had left, sonic was gone too, now all that remained where his friends to pick up the scraps left behind of their home.
Shadow sat alone, atop the roof of building that crumbled long before the final fight for their freedom. Sounds of mobians chattering along the messy streets, families reuniting, his- no. Sonics friends comforting as many as possible.
His ears flattened, comfort, what an concept.
The hedgehog was surprised that the distant chatter of mixed celebration and loss calmed him rather than make him sickly, soothed his anxieties instead of making his stomach churn and twist violently.
Something disturbed this peace, something pink.
"Shadow?"
He sighed aloud, not particularly meaning too, but he was so tired.
She waited patiently behind him for an answer, something to acknowledge her presence. When it never came, the pink one continued.
"Hey.. um, everyone's down there, we're setting up a small celebration downtown, I know it's not really your thing but-"
"No."
He heard her splutter, briefly, before she remembered just who he was. Amy huffed.
"Oh cmon, you won't even consider it? The whole town- no, practically the whole planet is ready to put this war behind us tonight, to feel free for the first time in months."
"I said no."
A stomp. Then footsteps.
He wished they were heading towards him.
"Wait. Where were you anyway?" She said quietly, he was unsure whether to curse his heightened senses or thank them.
"I'm right here, I don't know what you mean."
"You know what I mean, during everything, you went awol for 7 months! Even rouge said she couldn't find you," the pink one paused, "Infinite always had the clone activated so we.. we just assumed that-"
"What, assumed I'd turned evil once more? Glad your faith in me stayed steadfast, miss Rose." He turned to face her finally, an unsettled sneer on his muzzle.
Her eyes widened for a moment, he was messing with her, mostly.
"No! No no that's- it's just-"
Shadow almost laughed at her, seeing her fumble over what to say.
She was more perceptive than he thought, blinking at him before narrowing her eyes. "Ugh! You're worse than sonic, quit teasing!"
That he did chuckle at, a small smile staying on his face.
Silence washed over the two hedgehogs, her angry facade eventually cracking showing her smile beneath.
There were not alot of people shadow considered 'friends', rouge and omega? Absolutely, they were practically family. Sonic? No comment.
Amy Rose however was a different story.
The young hedgehog had been to one to remind him of Maria during a very difficult and confusing time in his life, she had stopped him from doing something he would've always regretted.
She was strong, arrogant, cheerful and she never, ever gave up.
The lines between the affection he felt for Maria and Amy blurred significantly.
Something coded within him, the small parts of humanity Gerald had allowed him connected the word "sister" to the feeling latching itself in his chest.
"So.." her voice pulled him out of his self reflection.
"Are you gonna answer my question?"
At some point, she had moved to sit next to him, legs dangling over the edge of the fragmented roof, swinging back and forth absentmindedly.
Shadow paused for a moment, he could be honest, finally, after months open up to someone. The opportunity was right there, Amy was always someone who listened, who helped, who healed.
His eyes snapped back to hers, only to find her waiting patiently.
Instinct told him to shut up, keep quiet and pretend everything was fine, but the past few months had been rough for him. Even rougher for everyone else outside.
Shadow willed his mouth to move, to say something and explain everything.
Instead, he let out a pathetic whimper and curled in on himself.
Her shock was obvious, even through his trembling form and tears falling down his cheeks. Too mentally exhausted to fight it, he let her pull him into a hug.
Time passed, the sun had set completely and the streets were now cleared of people, who were now further downtown celebrating loudly, echoes of fireworks rained through the distance.
He had stopped crying around a minute ago, but Amy refused to let him pull away completely, worried he would close himself off permanently again if she let go.
"..Shadow?" She tried after another minute passed. Voice soft like he was a scared animal.
"Mm?" Small sounds were all he could make at the moment, not wanting to risk breaking down once more, what a waste of time.
"Are you okay?"
His lip trembled, no, not again, he refused to let his emotions control him.
He was lying when he nodded against her weakly.
She nodded too, brushing back his quills.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"It's ok, we all get like this, I know alot of us just.. brush everything eggman has done off our shoulders as if its nothing, but honestly? It's terrifying."
She finally let him pull back, staring at her to continue, her hands lay in her lap.
"Sometimes eggman is.. just not a threat, other times.." She glanced back at the decimated city, ears flat.
"He's a monster."
She nodded, "Exactly, and none of us ever seem to talk about it, especially not sonic."
Shadow chuckled, "He never talks about anything that's upsetting him."
She smiled back, "Yeah unless it's me asking him on a date!"
The two giggled together for a moment, the somber mood lifting slightly.
The cool air of the night reminded him of the ark, but this place had a warmth to it.
The Ark was never truly a home to him, Gerald and Maria were kind, but to everyone else there he was nothing more than an experiment, a weapon to be used and changed to their will. Even Gerald had turned on him later in life, pulling his memories apart and rearranging his mind like a poorly designed puzzle.
Shadow had always wanted to be angry about it, but Gerald had only done it for Maria, even if they both knew she wouldn't have approved.
He realised the silence had stretched, now or never he told himself.
"Null space."
Shadow spoke quickly, spitting the words out like they were poison.
"What?"
"That's where I was, I was in null space."
Amy's ear flicked, "for seven months!?"
A nod.
Her expression turned horrified, "how- what- what happened?"
He didn't particularly want or like to recall it, and his memory wasn't exactly the best, but he owed her some form of explanation.
"One month before eggman attacked sonic, Infinite caught me off guard, trapped me in an alternate reality. Rouge was cut off from communications and omega was.. already taken care off."
He took a breath, Amy waited.
"Infinife kept me in a separate reality, I don't know how long I was there but.. rouge and omega were different, they were cruel, condescending and cold. I forgot what was real and what wasn't." His spines bristled with anger.
"He finally pulled me back to what I can assume was actual reality, but.. he threatened sonic, he was plotting, but I was.. too weak to fight at that point."
The girl watched him carefully,
"After Infinite decided he was done toying with me, he threw me into null space, I didn't know how long it had been, where I was, but Infinite must've been too overwhelmed to keep me in there."
Something warm swirled around in him for a moment, recalling his ever so elegant return to reality.
"I saved sonic from my own clone, he didn't even move to defend himself… he tried to ask where I had been too but I guess I hadn't processed it properly," He paused, "Sonic only mentioned the months, the war, his own time in captivity.. everything was a blur."
They sat quietly, Amy mulling over the information, Shadow wondering whether he regretted this or not.
"Yikes." Is what she came up with.
He snorted, "wow, I spill my heart to you and that's what you respond with?"
"Hey!" She shoved him lightly, "it's alot to process!"
Shadow nodded, "No kidding."
She stared at her hands for a moment, "how come you never told them?" Her head tilted in question.
He shrugged beside her, "It's not the worst thing that's happened to me, or anyone for that matter."
Amy huffed, and shoved him again, "that doesn't make it okay! I've been kidnapped by eggman before, just because it's not the worst thing that's happened doesn't mean it didn't affect me."
"Maybe so, but I'm different from you, I can handle something like this-"
"You shouldn't have to be able too! We're kids!"
"..."
"You're a kid too shadow, just because the military treats you like you aren't, which is wrong by the way, doesn't mean you aren't." She nodded when she finished.
He looked at her, unsure.
What she was saying was technically true.. but, he was still technically a soldier, an agent, he had to be more mature, GUN wasn't exactly a lenient army.
She sighed, "I know our circumstances are very different, but.. you don't always have to be big and strong, it's okay to be weak sometimes, ok?"
The moonlight reflected off the two, the sounds of the party had quieted significantly.
"Ok." He smiled, the stars shining down on them.
Maybe sometimes, leaning on someone wasn't so bad after all.