Work Text:
Okay, he can do this. He totally can.
In fact, he cannot.
It's really silly actually. He can't possibly be so terrified of cooking some scones for his boyfriend. If aunt Fiona were here, she would be laughing her ass off just because her nephew has an unreasonable fear of the kitchen and any activity related to it. But don't blame him, it's not his fault that most of his life meals were served to him. Even now, in university, he mostly would order takeout if his boyfriend or Penny aren't cooking. It's not that he's lazy, it's just that every time he tries to make an effort, something would go wrong. It's like a dark spell was given to him, making him burn down the kitchen even if he just wanted to make soup.
Well, also he is a vampire. A flammable vampire. So there's that.
But now is obligatory, he has to go out of his comfort zone for Simon. His boyfriend had been feeling down lately and he wouldn't talk about it, and Baz doesn't want to push either. He wants to give him his space just that the result of that is worrying the hell out of Simon most of the time. Hence his brilliant idea: if he can prepare his boyfriend's favorite snack, Baz is sure Simon is going to feel a little better. Maybe just for a little bit. Maybe just for a while. Maybe not even at all. But can you blame a boy for trying?
So, scones.
Baz placed the ingredients on the kitchen counter carefully, trying to not make a sound. Simon was taking a nap, and even though he isn't easily woken up, it's never bad to be cautious. Smiling at the snoring sounds his boyfriend made from his bedroom, he started to search for the cooking utensils he was going to need. Oh god, he was completely head over heels for this guy. Penny was right.
His boyfriend's roommate had told him all about how the kitchen worked before heading to the library. She offered to give him a hand with his plan, but Baz knew she was busy studying for finals, so he just rejected her help. He probably should be doing the same, but Nah, those were future Baz problems.
When the youtube tutorial was already open, careful of not putting the audio too loud, he started watching and closely following the steps the lady of the video made. The woman seemed nice, she was explaining like a granny to her grandchildren, all sweet and caring. Donna, that was her name. Baz liked her.
Flour, sugar, baking powder, salt. Easy peasy. Why hasn't he tried this earlier?. He started mixing the butter with the rest of the ingredients and felt proud when Donna told him how good he was doing. Well, it was a video, so she was congratulating all of her viewers, but whatever, Baz was a good student anyways. Maybe he could do all kinds of scones for Simon, and other snacks too. He was smiling at the thought of his boyfriend tasting his cooking.
But of course, the universe likes to remind him that he is, in fact, trash at trying new things. Of fucking course.
The accident occurred a few minutes after the beginning of his discoveries. He reached his hand to grab the egg placed at his left, Donna told him patently that this ingredient would add structure to the scones. She hit the egg softly two times on the kitchen counter before pouring it into the bowl and then started to mix it better. Of course, Baz forgot he was a vampire. Of course, he forgot that his strength was thumping, compared to a woman in her 60´s.When he hit the egg on the kitchen counter, the ingredient exploited in his face, making a mess on the floor too. Fuck, fuck. He paused the video and when the snoring noises continued being heard, he took a deep breath. Okay, he can do this. He’s not going to get frustrated that easily.
When the fourth egg was exploited, he left himself to be a little pessimist. If a little tear left his eyes, no one has to know. He wanted to quit so badly, but Simon. Simon and his smile, enjoying his favorite food. Simon's laugh. He wanted that back, or at least try to. Taking a deep breath, Baz started to head to the fridge, in a search for the fifth egg. But of course, his dumb self forgot that the floor was full of a cracked egg. He tried to grab the counter, in an attempt of not falling to the floor, but he grabbed the bowl with the mix he had prepared instead, pouring all the thing in himself.
That was it. He couldn't do it. He knew it from the beginning. Egg and mix being all over his face and body, sited on the floor with a beaten ass, was just the ultimate proof. He was just being stupid at denying it. Closing his eyes, he let himself be miserable. He had to accept it. Simon was sad, miserable, and he couldn't do anything to make him feel better. Maybe he actually could, but the thought of it made him cry even harder. Was he being selfish? Maybe letting his boyfriend go was the right thing to do. After all, Baz wanted Simon to be happy, and being together seemed to be the problem. He couldn't deny it anymore. He wouldn’t fool himself anymore.
He started to count. One, two, three. When he reaches twenty, he would get up, and finish everything. Eleven, twelve, thirteen. Tears were streaming down harder. Stupid, stupid, Stupid. He was so pathetic. Eighteen, nineteen. Come on Baz, for the first time in your life, do the right thing. Twent—
"Baby? is everything okay?” a sleepy voice made an appearance in the kitchen. Baz opened his eyes.
" Oh god, are you okay?” His boyfriend was quickly next to him, a worried face-scanning him. He felt so tiny right there. “Why are you crying, did you hurt yourself?” Two warm hands carefully cleaned his face. He wanted to be embraced in this warmth forever. "Baz, babe, please answer me”
" I —” His voice was a mixture of sobs. How pathetic. “I’m so sorry, I really am” Stupid, stupid stupid. “I know is my fault, I’ve been so selfish trying to deny it. But I just can't anymore, can I? ” He stared at his boyfriend's eyes, his hands covered with flour touched the ginger's hair. He smiled “It’s time to let you go"
Simon stared at him two seconds before he said: “What the fuck” and started to laugh. At him
Sadness was quickly replaced with confusion. What was he laughing about? He knew he was ridiculous, okay? No need to laugh at that.
"Babe" Simon breathed "Babe, you hit your head hard"
"Stop laughing, I'm serious" Baz was starting to get angry. Didn't he see how much he meant it?. Didn’t he know how painful it was to let him go?. It wasn’t a joke. Not to him.
Simon stopped laughing and stared at him again. The powerful honey eyes analyzing him made him self-conscious. "No, you're not"
With that said, two hands helped him get up and sited him on the kitchen counter. Baz tried to speak again, but what would he say?. His boyfriend— was he still his boyfriend? — left the kitchen to then return with a wet towel. When he started to clean Baz's face with it, He spoke again.
"What were you doing?" he asked softly like Baz was porcelain and talking just a little louder would break him. And right there, with the soft glance Simon was giving him, Baz felt like porcelain.
"I was trying to do something nice for you" he avoided Simon's face like his life depended on it "Because you've been really sad lately and I wanted to make you forget whatever made you feel like that, just for a while"
Simon paused for a moment, his gaze returning to him "And cooking made you realize that I wasn't a good boyfriend?" The look that his partner gave him made him freak out. He really thought that?.
"No! that's not it. That's not it" He looked down at his hands and started to play with them nervously "You… you're so much, and I give you so little. I just… I guess failing at this made me realize that I was trying to elude the real problem" When he returned to look at his boyfriend’s eyes, they detonated distress. He closed his, not wanting to have that view. "I'm the reason your miserable, I know it Simon”
His partner looked at him so hurt that Baz didn't know where to hide. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath like he was trying to get all the courage the air could give him before an answer escaped from his lips.
"Listen, look at me" two hands grabbed his face, making him looked directly to those truthful honey eyes "You're not the problem. I promise you. It just, with everything that happened, I felt overwhelmed, and I didn't want to bother you with my problems, because you have your own problems right now" he relied his forehead on Baz's shoulder "And I'm so lost with everything, but the only thing that I'm completely sure of is that I love you, Baz. I love you and I want to be with you. You would never make me miserable because you are the one that makes me want to try" he returned to watch Baz, while his thumbs caressed his cheeks "I made an appointment with a therapist. I want to feel better, to be with you. And do the right thing for once. I felt miserable because I thought you weren't happy with me"
Baz felt like doing so many things at once. Like crying, because Oh my god his boyfriend loved him or like running a marathon because OH MY GOD HIS BOYFRIEND LOVED HIM. But after just one last look at his boyfriend's soft eyes, a laugh made his way out of his lips like the only response available.
"We are so stupid, oh my god" he closes the tiny distance between them and kissed him for good, because he was overwhelmingly in love "I love you too" a soft smile interrupted his intentions of going for another kiss "And I'm sorry too, I should have tried to talk with you, not leaving you alone with your thoughts"
Simon smiled widely before embracing him in a hug "It's okay baby, I should have done that too"
"Thank you for existing"
"Then thank you for existing, too" a soft laugh later, he proclaimed with a serious voice: "And I'm banning you from cooking if you're going start thinking like that every time you try it tho"
That makes him smile even more "It's okay, I'm not doing that without you again"
When Baz returned to the kitchen after a repairing shower and found his cute boyfriend giggling while he was mixing all the ingredients in a bowl, he knew that there was no way he could ever live without that laugh warming his heart forever.