Chapter Text
First days always suck. This was Techno’s firm belief. And god did he stand by it now. Stepping off the dusty bus into the summer heat into a mass of other screaming children was possibly the worst first impression of camp.
Make friends they said. You’ll have fun they said.
As if.
Techno turned up the music on his ipod and plunged into the crowd of kids.
He passed under the sign labeling the camp: Camp DSMP a.k.a his prison for the next eight weeks of summer. Maybe he can plan a grand escape. Like the guy in The Shawshank Redemption movie. All Techno would need is a spoon. Yes, he could do much damage with a spoon.
“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” –Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
He pushed towards the pile of luggage taking comfort in his great escape plan. It would take some time to finesse but it could work. The hardest part would be the hitchhiking all the way back to California from Maine but Techno was determined and, more importantly, a pissed off twelve year old.
A pissed off twelve year old can do almost anything.
Except get his stupid luggage apparently.
Techno circled the pile looking for his duffle bag. He heard some guy yelling over a megaphone about cabins but Techno had elected to ignore him about ten minutes ago. His lime green sweatshirt was dumb and unimpressive.
Techno had just located his duffle when about six more bags landed on top from various bus unloaders. Techno glared at them. They had they gall to look completely unafraid and even bored. Techno silently planned their death as he attempted to dig through the pile of duffels.
He had nearly resigned himself to the nauseating task of asking for help when a voice at his shoulder said, “You must be new seeing as you did not grab your bag before it landed in the pile.”
Techno turned. He saw a girl about his age with bright pink hair. She looked cheerful until she didn’t. Then she looked downright murderous.
Techno never saw the punch coming.
Pain exploded in his stomach and he double over heaving.
“What the hell,” he wheezed.
“That’s for last summer! Oh, I can’t believe you! Do you know how angry I am at you?”
Techno holding his stomach, now in a considerable amount of pain, looked up in confusion. He had no idea who this girl was so mad at but Techno feared for their life. He stared at her through his hair that had now come loose from where he had twisted it up under his baseball cap.
“And then you just left like some-” The girl paused looking down at him. “Wait. You…you’re not-”
Her eyes widened with horror. “Oh my god, you! I am so sorry! I thought-and I just punched without” her hand flew to her mouth, “oh no, I am so sorry. Here let me help.”
She reached out her hand and Techno eyed it with suspicion. He had just been on the business side of that hand and he did not trust it one bit.
“Really, I am sorry. I thought you were someone else,” the girl said now grimacing.
Techno stood up slowly. “Who did you think I was?”
Her face flushed, “it-ah-it doesn’t matter. It’s a long story and I hate it. Anyways can I please make it up to you? The punching thing,” she clarified.
Techno stepped aside gesturing to the pile. “Sure, help me with my bag? It’s the pink one”
The girl laughed and stepped forward plunging into the pile. She nabbed one of the handles and with Techno’s help dragged it to his feet.
Her eyes lit up at the patches in the duffle. “Oh, you’re from California? I have never been. Is it cool? Do you live near Hollywood?”
Techno heaved the bag onto his shoulders. “No.”
She smiled at him expectantly. Oh, right. Friends.
He heaved a sigh. “I live in northern California. Never been to Hollywood. My mom says its just full of sad people trying to make it big.”
“Samsung, Technoblade!”
Techno turned at the sound of his name. It was a new guy on the megaphone—dark hair and white bandana.
Waving his hand in recognition, Techno called back, “Yea?”
“Auburn Anteaters”
“Heh?”
Those were the last words Techno had been expecting.
“Oh, I’m on that team too.” The girl was smiling at him again, “I’m Niki by the way.”
Techno nodded. “Right, ok well. Let’s go then I guess.”
He and Niki headed towards the main cabin jogging to make the road crossing before a cab pulled up through the carpark.
“So Niki, any chance you know how to play competitive solitaire?”
“No?”
“Gee, what a shame.” Techno hefted his bag higher hiding his smile, “So, uh, how much cash did you bring with you this summer?”
---
Wilbur stepped out of the cab breathing in the fresh air. First day back at camp and he was ready. For what? Who knows. Wilbur didn’t. At least not yet. He was just here much to the misfortune of many others.
He grinned shifting his duffle bag to his shoulder. This summer was going to be great. Much better than last summer. Hopefully.
“Wilbur, one minute.”
Wilbur turned back to where Puffy was climbing out of the cab after him. His dad had insisted she come with him this time to make sure everything was sorted. It had taken a fair amount of convincing for the “higher ups” to allow Wilbur to return this summer and they were leaving nothing to chance.
Wilbur wheeled around on his feet, a practiced smile on his face, “Oh come on, its rather picturesque and I really want to go find my cabin and-”
“Park it Wilbur,” Puffy cut in pointing at her feet. Wilbur groaned and trudged back over to her.
She smiled, “I know you’re itching to go off an make tons of friends.” Wilbur snorted.
“But, we have your dad’s list to go over first.”
Wilbur heaved a sigh, “Lay the charges on me Puffy.”
Giving Wilbur what he would guess to be about a level three stink eye, Puffy pulled out small notepad, “No fireworks-”
“I didn’t mean for them to -”
“NO FIREWORKS.” Puffy interrupted bumping her stink eye up to a five, “also no matches, no pyrotechnics, no explosions—of any sort—no insubordination of the camp authorities-”
“s’not my fault they suck at being in charge”
“-no inciting of mass riots, no paint wars unless a camp activity,” Puffy continued on as if WIlbur hadn’t spoken, “no food fights in the cafeteria, no hostages—if you hurt a camper, I swear to god Wilbur Soot Minecraft, I will march down here myself and you will not like to see me then I can promise you that—no cross country escapades, no sneaking out past curfew, and, once again, no fireworks.”
“He really hated the fireworks, huh?” Wilbur asked rolling his eyes.
“Underlined it, twice” Puffy said shaking the notepad. A concerned look crossed her face then, “look Wil, please stay out of trouble. You can do that right?”
Wilbur stared at her.
Puffy sighed. “Noted. I’m going to go find the head counselor; he’s supposed to be keeping an eye on you this summer so you better stay in line.
Wilbur made to grab his other bag from Puffy when she held a hand up, her eyes shining. “One more thing, Wilbur”
“What?”
She pulled a small box from her jacket pocket. “A good luck gift,” she said with a wink. Wilbur took the box quickly recognizing the playing cards inside. He flipped the box over and grinned at the scrawled message on the bottom:
Whip their asses Wilbur –Tommy (& Tubbo)
He snorted at the cramped writing and the barely fitted add on of Tubbo’s name.
Puffy was smirking, “Maybe you’ll actually find someone on this continent who plays competitive solitaire.”
Wilbur tapped the cards against his chin in thought, “Well I doubt it, but tell Tommy and Tubbo thanks anyways.”
Puffy laughed, ruffling his hair, “Oh, get lost you, or I’ll move back to the U.S. permanently.”
Wilbur slapped her hand away with a cry of protest.
Puffy laughed again and waved him off walking towards a group of campers mobbing camp counselors.
Wilbur started the trek towards the main building to find his cabin contemplating his list of rules. It was extensive but there was definite legroom for him move about in. If Wilbur played his cards right, well, this summer could be just wonderful.
After all, a clever twelve year old can do almost anything.
---
Techno was seriously beginning to consider starting his escape plans early. Bad enough he’d had to change into a dumb camp t-shirt—they were lime green, who even does that?—but now he was being forced to eat food probably not even fit for prisoners of war. He doubted the mush they were calling sweet potatoes actually served any nefarious purpose beyond mild food poisoning but one could never be sure.
“Do not swallow bait offered by the enemy. Do not interfere with an army that is returning home.” –Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Maybe not exactly applicable Sun Tzu but Techno certainly felt like he was in a trap. Least the camp could do was get better bait.
He stabbed at his chicken tenders.
“-because they said they got new stoves this year and I really hope to try them out, Techno are you listening?”
Techno glanced up to find Niki staring at him, her eyebrows arched questioningly.
“Uh, no?”
She laughed. “Too busy punishing your lunch? I didn’t think the chicken did anything to you Techno.”
“Not yet they haven’t, ” he said jabbing his fork in her direction.
Any response she might’ve had was interrupted by a loud screech. Techno and every other camper in the room slammed their hands over their ears as the audio feedback cut through the air.
“What the fu-shi-I mean whaddup guys and uh girls and whatever.”
Techno turned to face the front of the mess hall room where the counselor with the dark hair tied back with a bandana was fixing a podium microphone.
“Yea, sorry about that. I’m Sapnap, one of counselors. Hope y’all are all doing good. I’d like to welcome all y’all to camp DSMP. Before we lay out some ground rules, you’re gonna hear from our head counselor for the summer, Dream,” Sapnap looked to his right offstage where a guy in a green hoodie was staring down at his lap seemingly distracted.
It was lime green sweatshirt guy, Techno realized. He seemed dumb and as unimpressive as before.
Sapnap stared at the man for a second before forcefully clearing his throat. Lime green sweatshirt guy—Dream—apparently still couldn’t be bothered to pay attention. That is until the goggles wearing guy seated next to him elbowed him in the ribs.
Dream startled with a jerk fumbling with something before looking up. Sapnap gestured towards the podium. The man heaved a sigh and trekked across the stage to the podium. Sapnap clapped him on the shoulder before taking the vacant seat.
Dream stared out across the sea of campers in lime green shirts grimacing.
Maybe now he’s regretting his color of choice Techno thought smugly.
A very fake smile lit upon Dream’s face, “hello campers! Glad y’all made it here in one piece. I am your supreme commander here and my name is Dream. I’m sure y’all have a ton of questions-”
“When do we get the good food?”
Dream’s head jerked to the side looking for the child who had spoken out. Many campers laughed and Techno smirked. Good to know someone else thought the food was shit too.
“Anyways, there will be a time for questions, later, to other counselors.” Dream straightened up, “now I’m aware many of you are familiar with camp and all its fun activities.”
Techno didn’t think anyone could say the word “fun” so disparagingly. Color him slightly impressed.
“But we have rules here and it’s to keep you snots out of trouble so you can go home with all your toes, and fingers, and limbs attached.”
Techno was going from impressed to now mildly concerned.
“I was informed last summer there was an incident involving rule breaking and unfortunately many campers lost fingers and toes apparently-”
“He’s joking,” Niki whispered in Techno’s ear.
“He doesn’t sound like it,” Techno whispered back.
Niki bit her lip, “well, he’s at least lying. No one got hurt…..badly.”
Techno was now appropriately concerned.
“-and I would hate for anyone to loose more appendages due to not being able to pay attention when I’m talking.”
Techno’s eyes snapped to Dream, who was glaring right at him.
So Techno did what any smart 12 year old would do in that situation.
Techno looked behind himself.
“He will conquer who has learnt the artifice of deviation. Such is the art of maneuvering.” –Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Luck was also on Techno’s side for several campers were already looking backwards trying to track Dream’s stare.
Techno counted five seconds then turned back. Dream continued on with his little speech as Techno gave himself a mental pat on the back.
“So follow the posted rules, don’t die, and activities start after lunch. Welcome to camp.”
Truth be told, Techno didn’t really feel all that welcome. But Dream was leaving the stage and Sapnap was retuning to go over the list of afternoon activities so Techno shoveled his chicken tenders into his mouth hoping he got a good activity at least.
Something stabby maybe.
Stabby always felt nice.