Chapter Text
“Alright, alright. I’m coming.”
Gintoki set down his wooden spoon, placed the lid back on the rice cooker, and hurried across the kitchen to the open living room, his pace quickening as Kagura’s quiet muttering escalated into loud, incessant babbling that completely drowned out the chatter of the Ladies 4 rerun playing on the TV. She had a knack for demanding his attention when his hands were already full—he was trying to make Otose’s curry rice with nothing to reference but a decade-old, chicken-scratch recipe card—and, if he didn’t know any better, he’d swear it was because she knew that he would drop everything to shower her with the attention she so desired. He gently hushed her as he reached into the playpen and lifted her from the sea of colourful toys and unfinished crafts littering the floor; remnants of an overwhelmingly eventful day that was finally beginning to wind down to a manageable din.
“What’s all the fuss about?” he teased, patting her back. A soft smile tugged on the corners of his lips as she relaxed into his arms. “Did you think Uncle Gin forgot about you?”
Kagura simply stared up at Gintoki in innocent awe, her eyes wide and unblinking as he brought her back into the kitchen with him. Her quiet fussing quickly turned into infectious giggles as he bounced her on his hip, stirring with one hand and supporting her bottom with the other. After turning off the stove and setting the pot of bubbling curry aside, he lifted a spoonful of white rice to her lips to which she hummed appreciatively. Her small fingers, both chubby and unbelievably delicate, wrapped around the spoon in an honest effort to tug it free from his grasp. Gintoki laughed so earnestly and with so much adoration in his eyes that anyone watching would swear she was his own.
“Are you hungry already?” he asked, his ear-to-ear grin mirrored on her round face. He picked a stray rice grain from her chubby cheek and popped it into her mouth. “Mmm.”
“Mmm,” she repeated, letting go of the spoon to tug on the sleeve of his t-shirt. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and a trail of drool was making its way down her chin. “Hungry, Gin-chan.”
“Just a few more minutes.”
Toshiro watched the entirety of this adorable interaction unfold from the kitchen island, where an impressive mess of paperwork and manila folders threatened to spoil his appetite—it was either that, or the pungent scent of Otose’s unique ingredients. He was doing a good job of pretending to do his work, occasionally jotting down a note or typing alphanumeric gibberish into his laptop’s search bar. But really, he was enamoured with how effortlessly Gintoki looked after his ‘niece’—the daughter of a friend, but family all the same. He had a way with her, a paternal instinct that seemed to stem from a childhood blessed with a father figure who was too kind for his own good.
Kagura was just shy of a year old, but she was already beginning to pick up on Gintoki’s bad habits such as nose picking and unreasonably long naps, even for an infant. She adored her ‘uncle’ and, although he tried his best to hide his joy behind half-hearted complaints and flimsy excuses, the unmistakable glint of excitement in his eyes whenever she was dropped off for an overnight stay didn’t go unnoticed. Their bond was special, and Toshiro had the pleasure of watching it bloom from the sidelines.
“Wanna sit with Uncle Toshi while Uncle Gin gets everything ready?”
At the sound of those words, Toshiro stiffened. To say that he didn’t like kids would be a misstatement. To be more precise, kids didn’t like him. He bristled at the thought of holding babies simply because he didn’t want to hurt them, or make them uncomfortable—how could something so small and so weak feel safe in his calloused, scarred hands anyway? Most babies he had the displeasure of holding ended up crying, or at least trying to squirm out of his grasp. Toshiro was certain that children could sense his anxiety.
But, when he glanced up from the email he was pretending to draft and saw Kagura’s outstretched arms reaching towards him from across the kitchen, her blue eyes lit up with joy and her little pigtails bouncing as she excitedly laughed, he simply couldn’t refuse.
“Toshi!” she exclaimed. “Toshi!”
“You hear that?” Gintoki smirked, cupping a hand over his ear. He knew better than anyone how his boyfriend felt about children—all the more reason to force him out of his shell. “Kagura wants to sit with Uncle Toshi.”
Toshiro sighed as he begrudgingly slid off his barstool. Unlike other babies, Kagura didn’t usually kick up a fuss when he held her, but he couldn’t shake the familiar feeling that somehow, he’d do something wrong this time. Much to his chagrin, she fell quiet as he hesitantly approached the pair—his uneasy smile hadn’t gone unnoticed. The sense of doubt making his stomach churn seemed to grow with each step, but when Gintoki passed her into his arms and she hid her face in his shoulder, her quiet giggles gave away the excitement she was trying to hide.
“What’re you being so shy for?” he teased, although his voice was trembling a little. He looked at his partner for reassurance. Gintoki simply nodded, chuckling to himself when Toshiro’s eyes softened with relief. When he lightly tickled her side with his index finger, Kagura threw her head back with laughter, then squealed with delight when he pretended to steal her button nose. Her bubbly laughter sent a pang of relief through his uneasy heart. Maybe he was doing something right this time.
Once again, he instinctively checked for Gintoki’s approval, but cursed himself for it when he saw the way he was looking at them, his half-lidded eyes revealing a glint of yearning as a small smile lifted the corners of his lips. It was different from the warm, loving smile he’d had when Kagura was making a fuss over being left by herself in the living room. This time, his smile was longing and vulnerable, distant and fragile, as if he was so close to something he’d always wanted, but knew that it would always be just beyond his reach. When Gintoki caught his stunned gaze, the urge to give him even just a sliver of hope outweighed any doubt, any fear Toshiro had felt just moments ago.
“When we have a family one day,” Toshiro began, feeling the tips of his ears turning red in spite of himself, “I hope our kids are as easy to please as Kagura. Right, Kagura?”
In response, Kagura wrapped her small, chubby hand around the bridge of Toshiro’s tall nose, her brow furrowed with concentration, and lightly tugged on it. Toshiro smiled at her, completely oblivious to the subtle shift in Gintoki’s expression until he was holding them both in his strong arms, placing a kiss on each of their foreheads as if to initiate himself into the huddle. Kagura, forever Gintoki’s shadow, placed a kiss on each of their cheeks between shy giggles. And when they expectantly looked back at Toshiro, Gintoki’s adoring gaze drawing him closer and Kagura’s beautiful blue eyes crinkling at the corners as her laughter rang through the air like church bells, Toshiro had no choice but to concede.