Chapter Text
Butters sat up in his bed, unable to sleep. It was very late, and Butters was normally good at getting to sleep early. He didn’t know why, but he felt different tonight. He felt like he could go run a mile without breaking a sweat. Like he could go about his day without feeling tired. He guessed he accidentally drank some of Tweek’s coffee earlier, he'd never had any of the stuff before, maybe this is just how it makes you feel.
Whatever happened, Butters was awake now. He decided to text Kenny, he was normally up late anyway.
Hey, Ken. Are you awake?
Ken: sure am, Leo!
why? is something wrong?
Butters smiled, detecting the concern in Kenny’s text after he’d barely said hello.
No, everything's okay. Just couldn’t sleep, you know?
Ken: yeah, i get it
do you want me to come over?
That’s asking too much, I wouldn't want you to get in trouble for me
Ken: its no problem at all, im on my way now :)
Butters looked out his window, smiling a bit wider. Kenny was always so selfless. And he would be here any minute. Butters jumped out of bed and quietly ran to his mirror. He adjusted his bunny pajamas, ashamed that Kenny was going to see him in such nauseatingly cute clothes. But he’d have to deal with it, he would die if Kenny walked in on him changing. Butters fixed his hair and face, his gaze falling onto the scar going through his right eye. Kenny had thrown a shuriken into it when they were kids. He didn’t talk to Butters for a couple of weeks afterward, Butters always thought it was because he felt guilty.
While Butters was busy adjusting his looks in the mirror, Kenny quietly scaled the side of the house up to his best friend's window. He giggled at the sight of Butters staring in the mirror with a pout on his face. But he didn’t want to stare for too long, the last thing he wanted was for Butters to think he was some kind of perv. Kenny lightly tapped on the window, and Butters jumped slightly before running over and unlocking it. He helped pull Kenny on top of his bed and then sat down next to him.
“You look really cute, Buttercup.” Kenny knew Butters barely had any confidence, so he liked to give him compliments whenever he could. And the blush that always formed on his cheeks was certainly a bonus.
“Gee, Ken. Don’t get my hopes up.” Butters smiled, he hated when Kenny would compliment him. Kenny was his best friend, but he still lied to him. Butters hated it.
Kenny wasn’t aware of how his compliments made Butters feel, but recently, he’d started dismissing them. So Kenny had to get a little more persistent. He knew Butters hated himself, so Kenny did everything he could to try and rewrite those feelings.
Kenny unzipped the part of his parka that lay in front of his mouth and pulled down his hood, smiling at the boy sitting in front of him. “I mean it.”
He placed a hand on top of Butters’ leg. Butters turned his head to look away. He began to knock his knuckles together, but he inhaled sharply and pulled them away. Kenny was confused, and pulled his hand back.
“Are you okay? What just happened?”
“I- I just shocked myself! Don’t worry about it.”
Kenny could tell Butters was uncomfortable, so he tried to change the subject.
“How was your day today? Did anything happen with your parents?”
“It was fine, my parents are how they usually are. Though, Dad did get mad at me today for the fridge being unorganized again. Is it so hard to understand that I mess up sometimes!”
Kenny didn’t expect for Butters to get upset so quickly, and he glanced at the door to make sure no one had heard him. He understood that Butters’s parents were terrible to him, sometimes he thought that he was the only one who really knew, and if Butters needed to vent, Kenny was definitely going to be there to listen. He let Butters continue talking about his day, fighting the urge to reach out and grab his hands. He knew that Butters was uncomfortable with physical touch. But at that moment, Kenny wanted nothing more than to hold Butters and tell him how much he cared.
After a while, Butters grew tired, talking while trying to fight his yawns. At the end of a sentence, Kenny finally stopped him, explaining to Butters that it was late.
“You should go to bed, You don’t want your dad to get mad at you for being tired tomorrow.”
“I guess that’s true, thank you for listening to me. I know I talked for too long, but… it was nice.”
Butters offered a sad smile, not wanting to let go of the comfort Kenny had created for him. This time, he was the one to reach out and touch the other boy's hand. Kenny stopped, his breath caught in his throat.
“I... I should go. This was fun, we should do it again sometime.”
Kenny began to reopen the window by the bed, making a move to leave.
“Do you really have to go?”
Kenny stopped once more, pulling his hood up to hide his blush. He wanted nothing more than to lay down and hold Butters in his arms. But he couldn’t imagine what his dad would do if he found them.
“I’m sorry, another time, maybe.”
With that, Kenny began to climb down the house, waving to Butters when he started down the road. He was kicking himself for refusing such an offer. Kenny could tell that his friend was upset, and he would hate for Butters to wake up and regret his decision of asking Kenny to stay. So, Kenny continued to walk home, his head hung low.
. . .
Butters felt so stupid, why did he have to ask that? He put his and Kenny’s relationship on the line, all because he didn’t want to feel alone. He laid down on his bed and put his hands over his face, grimacing at his actions. He felt a small indent of the scar over his eye and remembered when he and Kenny were kids. They didn’t hang out much, Kenny was a part of a group, Butters wasn’t. Although Butters hung out with Stan’s gang a couple of times, it’s not like they were inseparable. And with Eric Cartman constantly picking on and degrading Butters, the boy was happy to keep his distance. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the feeling of being a part of something. Kenny had started hanging out with Butters a lot more recently, so of course he saw Stan and Kyle pretty often, but it just wasn’t the same.
Now that Butters was thinking about it, why had he and Kenny started hanging out again? Butters had always admired Kenny, he may have even felt a little more than just admiration, but he was never one to make a move. It was Kenny who started talking to Butters, hanging out and waiting for him after class, even ditching his other friends to talk to the blond boy.
Maybe it had something to do with his parents? Kenny’s family wasn’t that great either, maybe he felt sympathetic. However their relationship started, it was going great. Until just now, when Butters pried too much and asked Kenny to stay the night with him. He rolled onto his side and picked up his phone.
I’m really sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean to weird you out
Ken: it wasnt your fault!! i just wanted to avoid getting you in trouble :/
i would have liked to stay
Butters had to reread Kenny’s message a couple of times, his face slightly red. Kenny would have liked to stay. But what if he was just saying that? He thought about how he should respond, not wanting to sound too weird or desperate.
Me too
I guess we should go to bed, goodnight Kenny!
Ken: goodnight leo
i’ll see you tomorrow <3
Butters put his phone on his nightstand and laid his head on his pillow, smiling to himself. He still didn’t feel too tired, but he was happy that Kenny didn’t seem to feel too upset with him. Butters would talk to him more about it tomorrow.
. . .
Butters woke up a few hours later when the sun was barely rising. He had woken up very abruptly, as if he’d been shocked. He jumped out of bed and looked into his mirror. His blond hair was standing up as if he’d been electrocuted, and his blue eyes were bright. He brought his hands up to his face, and noticed that sparks were surrounding them. He screamed and jumped back.
What the hell is going on?!
“Butters! What the hell is going on?” Stephen, Butters’s dad, yelled from down the hallway. Butters hid his hands behind his back as his bedroom door opened.
“I… I was shocked. By the outlet. I’m really sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to wake you!”
“What are you even doing up this early? Go back to bed!”
“I was just going to meet Kenny, we’re going to work on a project for school.” It was the first thing Butters could think of.
“At five in the morning? Get back to bed right now or you're grounded!”
Stephen slammed the door, which only made Butters more agitated. He let a single angry tear escape before flopping onto his bed. After a few minutes, Butters decided he was not going to be able to fall back asleep, and thought of texting Scott instead. Scott Malkinson, Butters best friend before Kenny, had started running in the mornings, he said it helped his diabetes.
You up, Scottie?
Scott M: Yeah, just about to hop in the shower
What’s up? Youre normally not up for another few hours, right?
Couldn’t sleep
And my dad yelled at me for being awake
Scott M: Want me to come over there and beat him up?
No thank you. I guess I could just do homework until my alarm goes off
Scott M: Goodie two shoes
Butters scoffed at his friend’s message while standing up. He walked to his desk and grabbed his homework from the days before. He tried to focus, but his mind kept wandering. It kept wandering to Kenny. What would have happened if Kenny stayed the night?
Butters only wanted to be comforted, and he wondered how Kenny would have reacted if he said that outright. Would Kenny even want to cuddle with him? Hold his hand or lay with him? Probably not.