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“I swear!” Kate had taken Yelena shopping for clothes that weren’t designed for a secret paramilitary. “It looks really nice on you!” She was giggling so hard she nearly tripped on the sidewalk.
“I understand that, I'm just saying, it would look nicer with more pockets.” Yelena replied, already planning how she would alter her new sweater.
“I’m not saying it wouldn’t, it’s jus-” Kate noticed her friend had become distracted, looking up at something.
“Kate,” She said, pointing up and shielding her eyes from the sun. “Why are there rainbows on the lampposts? There was a rainbowy sticker on the store window too. Why is that?”
“Oh!” Kate realized Yelena’s confusion. “T-those are pride flags. Like, gay pride. I guess you wouldn’t have learned about that.” She was hesitant to tell her, not knowing how she’d react
“We learned about pirouettes and poison, Kate, so no, we didn’t learn about your little rainbows. Sounds nice though.”
“Wow,” Kate thought aloud “I’m kind of surprised at how okay with this you are.”
“I’m kind of used to it.” Yelena explained “In the red room, sex is a weapon like any other. A weapon used when necessary, and it didn’t matter if they were male or female. I could, well, I had to be a lesbian when the mission required it. Can’t say I enjoyed it either way, though”
Kate looked shocked “God. That’s horrifying.”
“Is it? Hadn’t noticed.” Yelena half-heartedly joked, trying to change the subject away from the red room.
Kate spent the next few minutes trying to explain the LGBTQ+ acronym, but couldn’t seem to get past the B, so when they hopped on the bus, Kate pulled out her phone.
“Tell you what, I'm gonna send you a few videos and articles that helped me, you can check ‘em out on the computer when we’re back at Clint’s.”
“Sounds good, I still don’t understand what you meant when you said sexuality has an umbrella. Weird metaphor.” She replied, genuinely confused
“No- That’s not- just read the articles.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Yelena enjoyed the articles and videos, she finally understood bisexual, transgender, and tried to practice pronouns a bit.
She found that she really liked looking up the different pride flags, and finding out the meanings of each color. A fairly normal greyscale and purple one caught her eye, and she checked out the name and definition.
Asexual; A person who has no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.
It sounded strangely familiar to her, in a way she couldn’t place. She noticed a flag at the bottom of the page, the same but in green.
Aromantic; A person who has no romantic feelings or desires, or who is not romantically attracted to anyone.
“Hmph, Sounds right.” She said out loud, to no one in particular, and seemingly for no reason.
She wasn’t even sure what she meant. Right about what? She thought back to her conversation with Kate, she remembered saying she didn’t enjoy sex, and possibly for the first time, considered if she was supposed to.
“How’s it goin’?” Kate walked in and leaned on the doorframe. Yelena quickly changed to another tab, though not exactly sure why.
“Good, I think I'm learning a lot.” She replied, fully aware of her accidental double-meaning
“That’s good, got any questions?”
“I don’t know if I should-” Yelena was careful not to let her curiosity get the best of her, for fear of saying something wrong.
“I already know what you’re gonna say, just say it.” Kate confidently replied.
“Are you a lesbian?” She asked quickly.
Kate, with her answer already prepared, swiftly replied “No. But a lot of my friends are LGBTQ+, so I've learned a lot.”
“Right…” Yelena clicked her tongue, as she seemed to know what Kate was about to ask.
“So… you are?”
“No,” She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but she felt she had to say something. “I’m not a lesbian. I’m not… anything!”
“Oh!” Kate attempted to offer support. “Yeah, it’s totally alright if you don’t know yet.”
“No, I-I do know.” She switched to the tab with the asexual flag to show Kate.
“Hm, don’t think I've seen that one, nice colors though.” She was trying hard to remember if she had seen it before.
“It’s for asexual,” Yelena explained. “it’s when someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender.”
“Oh yeah, I've heard of that.” Kate finally remembered. “So you think… that’s you?”
“I do.” Yelena replied, with a small smile.
"Well, that's great!” Kate exclaimed with support. “I guess I'm back to being the only straight person in my friend group.”
“Ha!” Yelena teased.
Yelena and Kate started learning together, about asexuality, aromanticism, and the community. They eventually got sidetracked looking at memes, and when they realized it was midnight, decided they should go to sleep.
Yelena layed on her mattress with her eyes barely open, looking at the blank wall above her bed. The last thing she thought before she fell asleep; “That will be the perfect place for my flag.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
They went to a pride pop-up store downtown the next day, looking for flags and pins.
“Is this too much?” Yelena asked. “I don’t know how much pride flags are supposed to cost.”
“Eh, beats me.” Kate replied, “I’ve never had to buy one before.”
“I’ll assume it’s pretty standard. Where are the pins again?”
“Over here.” Kate pointed to the stand “Do you want a pronoun pin?”
“Sure.” She said, picking a ‘She/her’ button out of the tray. “I’m gonna grab a flag one too.”
She found one with the aromantic and asexual flag colors, with ‘’AroAce” printed on it in bold text.
“Ha, Kate, did you know that aro is short for aromantic?” She showed her the pin.
“Ah, no, Clint would like that.” She joked.
They checked out, pinned the new pins on, and got on the bus again.
“So,” Kate asked, “How does it feel?”
“The pins? They feel fine, completely comfortable.” Yelena examined them.
“No, not that. I mean, like, wearing the pins in public.” She attempted to clarify.
“Oh, that? I don’t know, it just feels normal.”
“Really?” She questioned, “That’s it?”
“If you’re looking for a big inspirational speech,” She replied “I’m not going to give you one. I guess it just- it just feels right.”
“Right. Ok, that’s good.” Kate matter-of-factly stated
“It is good.” Yelena agreed, “Thank you, Kate.”
Kate chose not to respond with anything, knowing this should be Yelena’s moment.
They hung the flag above her bed when they got back to Clint’s house. It really was the perfect place for a flag.