Chapter Text
Is it romance or a cult?
Felix: I just sprayed myself in the eye with deodorant someone help please it burns
Ellen: I’m sorry you just what?
Sam: wtf dude wash it out
Felix: IM TRYING BUT IT HURTS
Felix: andy wtf
Andy: you said it hurt, sam said to wash it out so I sprayed you with water
Andy: problem fixed
Ellen: sucks to suck
Felix: I’m soaking wet
Ellen: sucks to suck
Felix: I have class in 15 minutes
Ellen: sucks to suck
Felix: i don’t have time to get dry
Sam: I can guess what comes next
Ellen: Sucks to suck
Sam: called it
Sam: I’m a genius
Ellen: no you’re not
Sam: no I’m not
Andy: wow and just like that ellens bullied two of us
Andy: its only 8:30
Andy: new record this week
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Is it romance or a cult?
Jake: that’s it I’m quitting geography
Mia: Why are you quitting geography
Jake: rocks
Sam: that explains nothing
Jake: it explains everything
Andy: isnt your whole power to do with rocks?
Jake: exactly
Mia: fair enough i guess
Sam: hows your bio classes going M?
Andy: wow what are we roaches?
Sam: yes now shut up I wanna hear from my lovely girlfriend
Jake: bleh go on private
Andy: yeah no heterosexuality on my good Christian Minecraft server
Sam: we are neither on a Minecraft server nor is anything about this Christian
Mia: my classes are going wonderfully
Mia: and the man does man a good point, magic feels rather disconnected from Christianity
Ellen: hey everyone please shut the fuck up I’m trying to take photos and all I can hear is ding ding ding
Jake: turn your phone off silent then?
Ellen: don’t tell me what to do
Andy:yeah Jake dont tell her what to do
Ellen: I will block all of you now shut up
Mia: sorry hun <3
Ellen: your excused now shhhhh
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Felixhoe @lustfullembers 3;57pm
Me and @airhead had a great time filming ‘felix and sam answer questions ’ video if you want to find it here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvPYFCC1cL0
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{transcript of video}
[felix and sam are sitting side by side on stools facing the camera]
felix : hey everyone its felix
Sam: and im sam and were doing the answering your question google search thing
felix; [slow clapping] well done im so proud of you
[a cut to the next scene where sam is now holding a card with felix fern at the top and google auto-completes under it]
felix: [peeling of a strip[ is felix fern.. Married?
Sam stifled a laugh
felix : uhhhh no
Felix [removes another strip]: is Felix fern… part of a band?
sam : is he part of a band? Oh he’s not just a part of it hes the face of the band- and a beep good one at that
felix with a slight blush [shakes his head] : dont swear its a kid friendly channel sam. But yeah as he said im the face of the band 7sins
felix: is felix fern….gay?
felix: nope sorry to disapoint
sam : who would you be disappointing?
felix : you
sam: Okayyyyyyyy nope next question go [ pulls of the last strip]
Felix: felix ferne… room mates?
felix : at the expense of my santiy, sam Jake and andy
sam: i think you mean at the expense of OUR sanity. Seriously ive tried walking through the living room at night and then i get the iliad thrown at my head and get hissed at.
felix I didnt hiss at you
sam then what did
Felix NEXT QUESTION
[the screen cuts and now Felix is holding a board with Sam Conte on it]
sam : ok so does Sam conte… have a 6-pack?
Felix : does he have a 6-pack well [ goes to pul the others shirt up only for sam to slap his arms away] he does
sam: I do, actually leaving the house to work out does that to you, doesn’t it Felix?
felix: shut up or i’ll stab you
sam : you haven't stabbed me in the four years we’ve been friends, why would you now. Uhh anyway next question
sam: does sam Conte… have a girlfriend?
sam: yeah I do, her names Mia and she can sometimes seen on our channel or my everywhere on my Instagram
Felix : they’re disgustingly cute
sam: your jealous you dont have a super smart and cool girlfriend like i do
felix : horrifically so, now hurry this videos probably already to long
sam : fine fine…..how old is sam conte? I am 19 years old and the third youngest of our group
felix: yep it goes andy in december, me in february, him in april and little baby jake in july
sam : when this gets released hes going to hit you
felix : shit true, cut that jokeout please
[cut to a black screen with ‘we’re not cutting it out’ in white text.]
sam : is sam conte… an artist?
felix : he is, but not just an instagram artist, he has his beep work in exhibits to
sam: the heck?
fleix : pay backs a b….female dog
sam: great save smart guy
[cuts to the next scene where they are both holding one board]
sam: so we both answer the questions?
[of camera can be heard someone saying yes]
sam cool cool, just checking
felix: couldnt have asked before cameras where rolling?
sam: yes but that would be to easy.
sam: NOW TO THE QUESTIONS
sam: has Felix Ferne ever... smoked?
felix : absolutely not my lungs are pinker than a pig
sam: lies, he smokes tobacco occasionally, we both smoke weed and that’s all we’re gonna tell you
felix : felix ferne… as a child?
felix : the day I show my childhood photos on the internet is the day I die
sam : ditto- though less dramatic maybe…. Next question!
sam: sam conte skateboarding?
felix: dear god don’t get him started he’ll rant for hours
sam : excuse you im not gonna go on a 4 hour rant
felix: yeah this time maybe
sam: hmph, anyway I skate a lot, there’s some videos on youtube, and I’m often found in skate parks so
felix : I have skated a couple of times and can proudly say I can just about kickflip
sam: just about
felix : just about yes
[the boys turn to stare at each other, sam smirking and Felix deadpanning him before Felix pushed the other boy off the stool]
felix : anyway does felix ferne...have depression?
felix : uhhhhhh [he chucks the board of camera and a distinct smashing sound can be heard ] that’s enough questions
felix : I’m Felix, that’s sam, and we both have unhealthy addictions to children cartoons
felix: good bye
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salix stan @royalcuteness 5;34
Omgggg have yall seen the video @lustfullembers and @airhead where in? They where so cuteeeee
hoe dont fear nothing @peoplearedieingkim 5:50
Sam has said (EVEN IN THE VIDEO YOUR TALKING ABOUT) that he has a girlfriend, and felix has said hes not gay. You shipping them is wiered
salix stan @royalcuteness 5:53
Chil out shipping them is a joke
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Private chat: jake to felix <3
jake: you ok sweetheart
jake:your questions seemed alot more personal then Sam’s
jake: especially that last question
felix <3 : yeah its chill i guess
felix <3 : i get why the am i gay one is there so it didnt bother me to much
felix <3 : but the last question just wasnt chill
jake : where are you rn
felix <3 : in my room
jake : ill make moms famous hot coco and drag sam and we can cuddle pile and watch nightmare before christmas again
felix <3 : you dont have toooo
felix <3 : sides sams probs busy
Jake : oh well i want to
Jake : and sammy doesnt get a say in this sooooo
Jake: see you in 10
felix <3 : ill set the movie up <3
jake : <3