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Garazeb Orrelios is the most gorgeous sentient Alexsandr Kallus has ever met. He's smart, funny, kind, more than conventionally attractive, and Alex is pretty sure one of these days Zeb is going to look at him just right and he's just going to melt into a puddle of love-struck goo.
Honestly, wouldn't be the worst way to go. It'd be a lot better than the current method of his demise, which happens to be stumbling over himself any time Zeb even speaks to him. If Alex wasn't sure humans could die of embarrassment before, he's almost certain now.
One thing helps take his mind off the mess that is his love life(or lack of one, from a certain point of view), and that's going to the on-base tavern and people watching over a few drinks. Except Zeb got wise to the fact that Alex does that, and has taken to joining him, often to Alex's total embarrassment at not being able to just get over himself and tell Zeb how he feels. But they've started going for drinks on the first and fifteenth of every month, days they always have open and always use to relax.
It's during one such meet up that Alex fucks up, badly. They start talking about love(because Alex loves to torture himself, apparently), and Zeb immediately starts talking about how family love and platonic love and a whole bunch of other things that Alex isn't really paying attention to because his head is in the clouds and his impulse control is 90% out the window. And because wasted Alex likes making messes for sober Alex, he starts asking about how romantic and sexual love might be perceived as different from each other, which ends up being a rather informative discussion.
"So, sexual attraction tends to be more physical, which romantic attraction tends to be more emotional? Is that what I'm hearing?" Alex slurs lightly, speaking slowly so as not to give away how drunk he is.
"No, its more like... I don't know. It's just different. Sabine was telling me about it, I thought it was interesting." Zeb says with a slight growl, his gruff voice giving everything a gravely undertone.
"So, something like a 'crush' could fall into either category." Alex provides it as an example, but no sooner has he said it than he wishes he could take it back. Why does he do this to himself?
"I suppose." Zeb knocks back the last of his drink, glaring at the counter when he finishes. "Man, crushes are the worst!"
Alex almost misses the way Zeb's ears swivel down in embarrassment shortly after he says those words. Almost. Alex has to choke down a laugh, because oh, if Zeb knew half the things he thought on a daily basis, if Zeb knew anything about his crush, they wouldn't even be having this conversation.
"Tell me about it." Alex huffs, because apparently he likes making things worse for himself. "Whenever I have a crush on someone, I act really nervous around them".
"But you're always acting nervous." Zeb tilts his head in confusion, and Alex feels the blood rush to his face so fast he gets dizzy.
"Yeah, don't think about that too hard." Alex dismisses himself to his quarters shortly after he says it, smacking his forehead the whole way back. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did he do that? Why is he like this? What did he do to deserve this hell?
He can actually answer that last question, but it's late and he's tired and he really doesn't feel like having a depressive episode by remembering Lasan.
Too late for that, apparently.
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Zeb has just gotten back to the Ghost when it hits him, and he actually groans out loud at how stupid he is. He's been thinking about what Alex said, about acting nervous around his crush, and upon hearing it, Zeb went and did the one thing he was told not to and thought about it as much as possible. And now he gets it, or at least he thinks he does; if he's right, Alex has a crush on him.
"Karabast, I'm an idiot." Zeb groans as he stumbles into the common room. Ezra looks up from where he's messing with his saber, then grins wickedly.
"I'm not disagreeing with you, but why do you think you're an idiot?" Ezra swats Chopper's hand off of his stuff as he's saying. "Hey, that's mine!"
"I think Alex has a crush on me".
"Uh, yeah. You're just now noticing?" Ezra says it like its a joke, but after a moment too long of silence on Zeb's part, he straightens, suddenly serious. "Wait, you're just now noticing? Zeb, it's super obvious, how have you not-"
"I haven't noticed because I was too wrapped up in my own stupid crush on him." Zeb growls, knowing he'll regret it as he's saying it; he knows what his family is like. "And if I'm right, then I've spent way too long not saying anything".
"Oh man, Sabine owes me like, a million credits." Ezra says in a hushed voice. This does little more than piss Zeb off and get Ezra out of the common room, where Zeb spends the rest of the night, overthinking everything like an idiot.
The next morning, he goes to find Alex to talk to him and immediately runs into problems. The intelligence wing is a chaotic mess, which is normal, but what isn't normal is that nobody has seen Alex all day. Zeb thinks maybe he's gotten sick, and checks the medbay; no Alex. Anywhere he looks, he turns up empty, and the last stop on his little trip is Alex's private quarters. Which should have been his first stop, now that he's there and actually thinking about it.
The door is open when he gets there, open to reveal that Alex's room is a mess; not dirty, just messy, the kind of messy that overtakes a room that isn't used too often. There's scattered pieces of clothing hanging out of a laundry basket that's filled to the brim, a few blasters on a table in the middle of the room, and the bunks on the far wall. The bottom bunk is occupied, and Zeb barely has time to remember that Alex has a roommate before said roommate runs into him from behind, grunting at the impact and then apologizing profusely. Zeb tries to wave them off when a low groan comes from behind them, drawing Zeb's attention; a strawberry blond head marks the presence of an absolutely miserable looking Alexsandr Kallus, who, upon seeing Zeb, buries his head back under a ridiculous number of blankets.
"Alex?" Zeb takes a small step forward, worried that Alex might be sick, and that he might have to drag Alex to the medbay. "C'mon, talk to me. You ok?"
"I think I'm going to throw up." Alex's muffled voice answers, the mass of blankets shuffling as Alex shifts under them, then pokes his head out. "How's your day been?"
"It's a lot better now that I know where you are; No one's seen you all day, are you sick?" Zeb casually places his hand against Alex's neck to see if he's running a fever, and the sharp blush that crosses Alex's face reminds him why he went looking for Alex in the first place, but that thought is quickly dismissed by the heat of Alex's skin; he's definitely running a fever, and the mound of blankets probably isn't helping. "Alex, you're burning up. You need to go to the medbay".
"Noooooooo." Alex whines, pulling the blankets over his head. "No doctors. I just want sleep".
"Alex, you're sick." Zeb starts pulling the blankets off, then grabs Alex and princess carries him from the room when he realizes that's not going to work. Despite Alex's whines, he makes no effort to actually escape Zeb's hold, and Zeb can't tell if Alex really is that sick or if he just doesn't want to. The answer comes when Zeb gets halfway to the medbay and Alex asks him to stay for the examination, citing his discomfort in the medical area and how Zeb makes it a little easier.
"You must seriously be out of it if you're saying stuff like that to my face." Zeb jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Instead, Alex looks horrified, then just sick.
Then he throws up on Zeb, which is gross, but also concerning. Alex mutters something about how he's sorry, then passes out, and despite Zeb's best efforts, he won't wake up. Zeb starts sprinting for the medbay, his panic causing him to plow through a few people on the way, and once he gets there the doctors on staff don't provide much insight as to what's going on. They do say that it looks like Alex came down with something common, that he's probably fine, that they'll keep an eye on him so that way if it gets worse, they can help.
It isn't until a few hours later that Alex wakes up again, but when he does, Zeb can't help his sigh of relief.
"You scared me." Zeb scolds.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to".
"Just... don't do anything like that again. Don't hide if you aren't feeling well." Zeb takes Alex's hand, holding it as Alex coughs heavily. "I can't lose you, Alex. I need to keep my family safe, and that includes you. You're a Spectre, one of us, and we look after our own".
Alex seems to relax a little at that, looking at Zeb with such pure gratitude that Zeb can hardly stand it. One soft 'thank you' later and Zeb finds himself not wanting to let go of Alex's hand. And it seems Alex doesn't want to let go either, as when Zeb tries to pull away, Alex catches his wrist, squeezing gently.
"Please stay." Alex whimpers. "Please, Zeb, I..."
Alex turns his face away, embarrassed, but Zeb knows what he was going to say, and he finds himself placing a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder, wanting to be able to hug him if nothing else.
"I know, Alex. I know." Zeb says, and pecks Alex on the cheek. Alex looks up at him, a mix of startled and confused, but Zeb just smiles at him until it finally clicks for him. Then he starts crying, which startles Zeb because he definitely wasn't prepared for that, and does his best to calm Alex down.
"I love you." Alex murmurs. He says it again and again and again, and Zeb just holds him, lets him cry and laugh and get it all out of his system.
"I know, Alex." Zeb whispers. "I know".