Chapter Text
“Come on, Atsushi! Just download the app” Tanizaki told him as he took another sip of his coffee.
“I told you, I just don’t want to.” He replied.
“Atsushi, I can tell you’ve been a little down in the dumps lately, and I think that it could really cheer you up.”
It was true, Atsushi had been acting a little depressed lately, and everyone at the office could see it. He wasn’t really sure what was causing it, but he just felt this overwhelming sense of loneliness all of the time. He had the friends at the agency, but for some reason they just didn’t seem to be enough.
So, he decided to discuss this with Junichiro, however, he didn’t think getting signed up for a dating app was the right solution. Apparently, it was supposed to select someone compatible with him and set them up on a blind date at a restaurant, but he just wasn’t too sure he wanted to spend an evening with someone he didn’t know.
“I just don’t think that would really help me at all.” He protested to his friend.
“You don’t know that. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Maybe going on a date is just what you need!”
“That just seems like it would only make me more stressed.” He replied under his breath.
Tanizaki was going to say something else when Ranpo suddenly appeared next to them, leaned in close to Atsushi and quickly swiped his cell phone from his pocket.
“Hey! Ranpo-san!” Atsushi quickly protested as he reached to grab his phone back.
“Nope!” the detective replied with a laugh as he moved out of reach and gave the phone to Tanizaki, who smiled as he took it and began the process to download the dating app.
Atsushi let his head fall down and sat with his chin on the table. “Why are you guys doing this to me?”
“We’re just trying to help you” Tanizaki said at the same time Ranpo replied “cause it’s fun.”
Atsushi let out a groan as he closed his eyes. There’s no way I’m getting out of this, is there?
“Alright, time to create your profile.” Tanizaki said, almost answering his thoughts.
They wouldn’t let Atsushi create his own profile though, because apparently he couldn’t be trusted to create a good one. So, his next 20 minutes were consumed with answering several questions like his favourite food, favourite past times, ideal date, and so on.
“And that’s it, you’re account is created.” Junichiro said right as the phone gave a notification. “Oh, and you already have a match.”
“Really? Who is it?” Atsushi asked, a little shocked that apparently there was someone out there compatible with him.
“We don’t know, that’s why it’s a blind date. The app finds a time and place for you two to go on a date and that’s when you’ll see each other for the first time.”
“Although I’m certain my super deduction skill could easily determine who it is.” Ranpo decided to add on as he ate a chocolate bar.
“Okay, the two of you are going to meet up tomorrow night at a nice restaurant on the other side of the city.” Tanizaki said as he gave Atsushi his phone back.
“What!? Tomorrow night! That’s too soon!” Atsushi yelled as he stood up from his seat. “I’ve never been on a date before! I don’t know what to do!”
Luckily for Atsushi, his coworkers were well versed in dating. Before his fateful night, Tanizaki and Kyouka helped him buy a new outfit, because apparently the one he wore to work every day wasn’t good enough, tried to style his hair a new way before ultimately giving up, and taught him some ‘essential dating rules.’
Apparently, the news of his date had spread around the agency as well, as he received a message from Kunikida about the ideals of romance, a message from Dazai telling him to have a good time and to ‘wear protection,’ and finally a message from Ranpo saying that he had deduced who his date was and that he was in for an ‘interesting night,’ whatever that means.
All this led to him sitting at a table in a restaurant far nicer than any he had been in before, waiting for his mystery date to arrive. As he sat waiting, looking over the menu to find the options that were within his budget (there were not many), he contemplated why he was sitting here anyway. The thought of dating someone brought him immense panic, and he deeply doubted that there was anyone who wouldn’t just find him to be a burden.
Atsushi let out a sigh as he resigned to the fact that he would only be able to afford a small salad from this place as he heard the sound of approaching footsteps. He looked up to see a hostess guiding someone behind them. They neared his table, and it was then that he realized who the new guest was.
“Akutagawa!” Atsushi yelled as he stood on his feet. “What are you doing here?”
The Port Mafia member’s eyes went wide as they met his. “Jinko” he growled out. The hostess nervously moved her head, trying to understand what was going on. The mafioso took a breath and said “for the record, my being here is absolutely none of your business, so I assume that means we can be civil and just ignore each other?”
Atsushi took his rival’s appearance in. He was wearing black pants and a black turtleneck, something very different from his usual get-up. Clearly, he was not here for a fight. Atsushi let out a breath as he sat back down. “Okay, sure.” He responded.
Akutagawa smirked at him. “Good. And remember our deal, Jinko. You only have 4 months left, so you better be training your best, because I will accept nothing less.” He turned on his heal away from his rival. “Now, hostess, take me to my table.”
“Um,” she meekly let out before pointing to the chair opposite Atsushi, “this is your table.”
Slowly, both Atsushi and Akutagawa turned their heads until their eyes met again. They both took a moment to register what she had said before they both yelled “YOU’RE MY DATE!?”
Almost the entire restaurant had turned to find out what was going on as they silently stared at each other. Atsushi’s jaw was on the floor, wondering how this could have happened, while Akutagawa had a look of anger mixed with confusion, probably wondering the same thing.
The hostess, after looking back and forth between the two of them, placed the menu on the empty plate and meekly said “Have a good meal!” before running off. Akutagawa’s eye twitched slightly.
After about a minute of awkward staring and silence, Atsushi finally decided to speak up. “So, what are we going to do now?”
Akutagawa’s eye twitched one more time before he let out a breath he had apparently been holding. Slowly, he stepped towards the seat across from Atsushi and sat down, folding his arms as he did. “Well, I came all this way, might as well get a meal out of it.”
Atsushi watched as he angrily picked up the menu and began looking through it, before he slowly lifted up his own, hiding his face behind it.
Atsushi tried to work out how this had come to pass as he stole quick glances at his apparent dining partner. Never, in his time since joining the Armed Detective Agency, did Atsushi think he would end up in a situation like this. How did this dumb app match them up? They had to be the most incompatible pair that could be matched up!
Atsushi was taken out of his head by their waiter arriving. “What can I get for you two?” he asked cheerily.
Akutagawa quickly ordered his own meal, which ended up being one of the most expensive dishes on the entire menu. He then glared at Atsushi, demanding “what do you want, Jinko?”
He turned to the waiter and asked for a small green salad, to which Akutagawa reacted with a loud scoff. “Why are you ordering that? It won’t be enough for you.”
“I’m kind of on a budget, Akutagawa” he responded. “Not all of us have Port Mafia money.”
He heard a soft gasp from their waiter that they both ignored. Akutagawa was silent in contemplation for a moment before saying “Well then, just order whatever you want. I’ll pay for it.”
“Uh, you don’t have to do that.” Atsushi protested before he was cut off again.
“Nonsense. How can I kill you in 4 months if you’ve starved to death?” Their waiter gasped again.
“I won’t starve…”
“Just order” Akutagawa demanded with a strong glare.
Atsushi rolled his eyes and looked back to the menu, picking out a nice meal for himself. As the waiter left, he looked at the man across from him. “Thanks” he begrudgingly let out. Akutagawa grunted in response.
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. Akutagawa had his arms crossed, glaring at different parts of the restaurant. Atsushi continued to give him a confused look, still wondering how exactly this happened.
Eventually, Atsushi decided that he would be the one to break the awkward silence again. “So, why did you decide to come here?” his dining partner quickly shifted from looking at a couple a few tables over to staring him down. “You don’t exactly seem the dating type.”
“It wasn’t exactly my idea. I was… persuaded to try this out by someone.”
Atsushi gave him a look. “Was it Dazai-san?”
Akutagawa glared at him before looking off to the side, quietly saying “yes.”
Atsushi huffed out a short laugh, which earned him an even deeper glare from Akutagawa, who looked like he would’ve strangled him if he didn’t get into a coughing fit at that moment. He watched as his rival sat there, sounding like he was coughing up a lung. Akutagawa slowly reached in front of him, grabbing the glass of water and taking a sip.
When he finally stopped, he returned to glaring as he put his glass of water back on the table. Atsushi watched for a moment before deciding to risk his life yet again with another question: “Why do always do what Dazai-san asks of you anyway?”
“Don’t be an idiot. You know why.”
“Do you really think that going on a blind date will give you his recognition?”
Atsushi watched as his rival sat uncomfortably in his chair. “How should I know how that brain of his works,” he angrily replied. “Why’d you come here anyway, Jinko?”
“The others at the agency kind of forced me into it.”
Akutagawa gave him a bewildered look. “And you just let them force you into this?”
Atsushi shrugged. “I just figured, why not go? I didn’t really think I’d get anything out of this date anyway. And since my date turned out to be you, I guess I was right.”
Atsushi realized what he said after he said it, and quickly covered his mouth with his hand. He watched as Akutagawa’s face froze from his frankly rude comments and dreaded how he would react.
To his surprise, he merely let out a small laugh. “Hmm. That was funny.”
Atsushi’s eyebrows creased as he wondered why he wasn’t just killed on the spot. Akutagawa… has a sense of humor?
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Akutagawa asked, interrupting Atsushi’s chain of thoughts.
“N-nothing!”
Akutagawa gave him a curious look before clearing his throat to speak again. “I assume you’ve been training for our fight in four months?”
Why’s he bringing this up again? “Yeah, of course I have. Dying isn’t exactly part of my plan.”
The man across from him scoffed. “And I don’t plan on losing.” He let a brief moment go by before he opened his mouth again, a bit quieter and a lot less assertive this time: “And I’ve kept my side of the deal as well, so you better not disappoint me.”
Atsushi’s eyes went wide. That honestly didn’t even sound like Akutagawa. “You haven’t killed anyone?”
“I keep my promises,” he simply replied.
Atsushi knew this, of course, but he was still shocked that his rival had actually reframed from killing. He didn’t think it was physically possible for him.
“Thank you, Akutagawa,” he softly said. “And I won’t be going easy on you either.” Akutagawa smirked in reply.
There was a brief moment of silence before Atsushi decided to break it again. “There’s just one thing I don’t really understand though,” he began.
“Hmm, isn’t that normal for you?”
“Hey! Shut up.” Atsushi grunted in reply. “I mean, I know that you need to prove that you’re stronger, but why do you need to prove that? And why against me?”
Akutagawa huffed and turned to the side. “That’s none of your business.”
“Well, if it’s the reason that you’re going to be trying to kill me, then I do think it’s my business.”
Akutagawa sat there, avoiding looking over at his dining partner. Atsushi could tell he was deep in thought just from watching the journey his face was taking. “I… I need to prove that I’m stronger. That’s the only way that I’ll have value.”
Atsushi gave him a confused look. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious!” he snapped back. “Growing up, if I wasn’t strong, that meant I’d die. It was true in the slums, and its true in the Port Mafia.” Atsushi noticed some heads turn at the mention of the organization, but they quickly returned to their own conversations. “In this world, it’s a survival of the fittest. And I need to prove that I’m the fittest by defeating you.”
Atsushi blinked at him after listening to his speech. For some reason, Atsushi had never really thought about Akutagawa’s time growing up. He knew that he grew up as an orphan in the slums, but it had never clued in for him the type of mindset that could give a person.
“Are you going to say something, or are you going to just keep sitting there with that dumb look on your face?” Akutagawa asked suddenly, cutting into Atsushi’s train of thought.
“Maybe acting like a total asshole all the time is why people don’t like you!” Atsushi replied, glad to be reminded of his rival’s true nature after briefly almost empathizing with him.
“Please, I get along just fine with my colleagues. Its only you…” the man was cut off from whatever he was about to say by their food arriving slightly early. It was likely on purpose too. The staff most likely wanted them out of their restaurant as soon as possible.
The two ate their meal in relative silence. Atsushi savoured every bite, it being the first time he’d eaten something that didn’t come out of a microwave in a few weeks. He also noticed that Akutagawa was taking his time as well, realizing that he probably didn’t have many chances to eat food like this growing up either.
Atsushi also managed to catch him briefly watching him eat with an indecipherable look on his face a few times, although every time he would look back, Akutagawa would quickly look the other way. Atsushi gave him a curious look but ignored it. He had a feeling that pursuing whatever that was would not end well.
Soon enough, they finished their meals, and the staff took them away swiftly. “Would you like anything for dessert?” he asked through gritted teeth. Atsushi was pretty sure that both he and Akutagawa had noticed the lack of dessert menu in his hand.
“We’ll take the cheque.” Akutagawa replied, and Atsushi watched as a wave of relief crossed the waiter’s face. “I’ll be paying for the two of us.” The waiter quickly walked away, leaving the two of them alone again.
Akutagawa cleared his throat, earning Atsushi’s attention. “There’s something you still haven’t answered for me, Jinko. Why is that you can on this date if you felt that it would not work out for you?”
“Why do you care?”
Atsushi thought he caught his dinning partner roll his eyes. “I answered your invasive questions, it’s only fair you answer mine.”
Atsushi let out and angry huff. “I don’t know! I was lonely, and the others at the office thought seeing someone would help me. I had my doubts about it and turns out they were right!” He threw his arms around a lot as he talked, and skillfully avoiding making eye contact with the man across the table from him.
“You had doubts about this because you thought the app would pair us together?” Akutagawa asked in reply with a very confused look on his face.
“No no no no no!” Atsushi said, waving his hands in front of him, almost standing up. After the look left Akutagawa’s face, he sat back in his seat. “I just meant that I didn’t think that there would be someone who would actually want to be with me.”
Akutagawa gave him a bewildered look, and opened his mouth like he was about to say something before their waiter returned with the bill. It was quickly paid for, and they both got up to leave the restaurant.
Atsushi noticed some of the other people in the restaurant giving them weird looks as they exited. I guess that’s what we get for constantly making a scene. At least we never ended up actually fighting.
Once they had almost escaped, they passed by one table where an older man leaned over to his wife and loudly whispered “I think those two need some couple’s counselling.”
Immediately, both Atsushi and Akutagawa turned on a heel and yelled “We are NOT a couple!” before they both promptly exited the restaurant.
The walked down the street in silence until they were out of sight of the restaurant, with Atsushi stopping at the nearby train station. “Umm…” he began to say, not really sure how he was supposed to end the night.
“Well, Jinko, our time is up.” Akutagawa began instead. “I implore you to continue training for when we see each other again in 4 months.”
“Right,” Atsushi simply replied, not really able to come up with any comebacks after the weird night he’d just had. “And uh, Akutagawa. Thanks for, you know, the meal.”
Akutagawa gave him an unreadable look before huffing out, turning on his heal and walking away. Atsushi let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding all night as he watched him leave.
That date… was really weird.