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Rachel finished compiling information on the last of the Drew Thompson candidates at 7:03. After letting out a yawn she checked her phone, glancing over a brief text exchange with Gina from that afternoon that made her smile and the text she had sent to Raylan offering condolences and telling him she’d be stopping by later. He hadn’t responded which had her worried.
Tim was still working, going through the other half of their candidate list. His phone was on his desk and he seemed to be pausing to glance at it every few moments. Rachel stood up. “You almost done?”
Tim glanced at her. “I’m about to start my last one.”
“When you’re done you should stop by for a sympathy drink with Raylan.”
“Yeah, um…” Tim glanced down at his phone. “I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to make it.”
“You have plans with your… friend?” Rachel laid on the suggestion in an attempt to guilt him into coming.
Tim glanced down at his phone. “No he hasn’t been responding to my texts, and I think he might be busy relapsing.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Rachel said, caught off guard and quickly spiraling into her own guilt.
Tim just shrugged. “It’s fine, not really much of a surprise if I’m being honest. Tell Raylan I send my condolences, I’m sure he’ll be too drunk to remember.”
“Will do, and you let me know if you need help with finding your friend, or to just talk about that whole situation.”
“Sure and maybe we can paint each other’s nails too.”
Rachel didn’t bother countering that. She just nodded, grabbed her coat and headed out.
The bar wasn’t too busy when Rachel arrived. It was a weeknight and while most of the bar’s patrons were too young to be deterred by that, there was a noticeable reduction in the crowdedness and volume of the bar.
Raylan was sitting on his usual bar stool. His hair was wet and had been combed. A detail that could be seen because his hat had been placed on the stool next to him. There was a large bottle and a glass in front of him, both half full of different liquors.
Raylan didn’t notice her as she approached, so she sat down one stool over from him, putting the hat between them. “Why am I getting the sinking feeling that that seat isn’t being saved for me?”
“Shit,” Raylan muttered in surprise before turning to look at her.
“Good to see you too,” Rachel said with a smile.
“So you’re here to talk about my feelings or something?”
“If you want, I also came prepared with a variety of other topics of discussion…” Raylan gestured for her to elaborate so she continued, ticking off the options on her fingers. “I have, two stupid perp stories I heard from a state trooper last week, a fugitive case I’d be glad to get your advice on, that Cincinati trade that everyone’s talking about, the drama of my love life, and of course a splendid story from my nephew about a kid puking at school.”
“Wow, you’re really pulling out all the stops.”
“Of course.” Rachel flagged down the bartender to order a beer. “But before anything else, who are you actually waiting for?”
Raylan gave a drunken shrug to avoid the question.
“Ok, I can figure this out.” Rachel took a second to look him over. “Based on the attention you put into your hair and that you changed into a better shirt, it’s one of your lovers. Maybe Winona, even with the baby on the way she’d probably be willing to see you.”
Raylan watched her, impressed by her observations and relaxed since she had guessed wrong.
“Though Winona didn’t really know your dad did she? If he’s who you want to talk about you might have rather called…” Rachel trailed off as the look on Raylan’s face confirmed her guess. “You called Boyd. Great.”
“In my defense, I was drunk at the time and he was the one who said he was gonna come up here.”
Rachel nodded and took a moment to silence the voice screaming about how unprofessional and dangerous him seeing Boyd was. “Ok, he knew your dad pretty well right?”
“Yeah, probably better than I did. They got along cause of their similar interests in crime and making me hurt.”
Rachel nodded, allowing Raylan to continue once he’d had another drink.
“And I know all those reasons that it was stupid to call him. I was thinking about them right before I dialed and right after too. I might even have hung up if Boyd hadn’t answered so god damn quickly.”
“I haven’t brought up any of those reasons, and I’m not going to either.”
“But you’re thinkin’ them pretty loudly. Bet you’re even wondering about whether or not you could outdraw Boyd, or if he’ll be bringing back up.”
“That’s just a force of habit.”
“My money’s on you if you go against him, but if it comes to it and he wants to kill me after the things he’s said…” Raylan trailed off into thought for a moment. “Well I’ll be very happy to take him with me.” Raylan slouched down and tugged on his pant leg to show an ankle holster.
“I’m glad to see you had the wisdom to carry a gun while drunk.”
“And I’m pretty sure Boyd would be offended if he knew I was carrying, so it also helps make sure I keep my pants on.”
“You’ve really thought of everything,” Rachel said, stifling a laugh.
“Except I forgot you were gonna show up here.”
Rachel almost offered to leave, but held herself back with the knowledge that if she did she would spend the rest of the night worrying that Raylan had shot or been shot by Boyd. “I’m sure I won’t be too annoying, and it’s not like you’re gonna be making out with a known criminal.”
“Of course not,” Raylan said, too drunk to effectively hide that he had wanted to do exactly that. “Now since you’re gonna get to witness my wreck of a love life, let’s hear about that date you went on.”
“Ok, well it was with Gina. She took me to an MMA match.”
“You are very lucky that you didn’t give me a lecture on getting involved with a criminal.”
“She isn’t a criminal! Or at the very least she is nowhere near as criminal as Boyd is!”
“Boyd isn’t that bad! We don’t even know for sure that he’s killed anyone since he blew up the three people at the mine, which was self defense!” Raylan said, letting the alcohol carry him into empty bluster.
“Was it last week that you mentioned that he might have had one of his prostitutes killed?”
Raylan sighed and dropped his head down on the bar. “You might have a point there.”
“Yeah, but you probably do know the man a little better than I do.”
“I can’t pretend that he’s better than you think he is,” Raylan said into the bar. “But the truth that keeps comin’ to me when I let myself think on it, is that I ain’t any better than him.”
“You’re a good lawman and a good friend.” Rachel reached out and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t even know how many people I’ve killed in the course of bein’ a good lawman. You know damn well some real assholes can wear these badges.”
“Yeah, but you’re not one of them, or at the very least nowhere near the worst I’ve met.”
Raylan sat up to get another drink, letting show the emotion he was failing to hide in his face. “You don’t know all the shit I’ve done.”
“Like all the bounty hunting you did to make the money that your ex girlfriend stole, or whatever shady dealings you had with your ex-wife’s ex-husband that lead to him disappearing until he showed up dead and you were the primary suspect for the murder?”
“Yeah, all that.” Raylan managed a wry chuckle at Rachel’s description. “And there’s all the shootings, where maybe I shouldn’t have drawn or I goaded them into drawing.”
Rachel glanced towards the door. “Well one of your shootings which was definitely justified just walked in.”
Raylan sat up and looked to where Boyd had just entered. He was glancing around for Raylan, hands nervously in the back pockets of his jeans.
Raylan took a calming breath, ran a hand through his hair to make sure it was intact and then waved to Boyd. Boyd smiled at the sight and started towards them, only showing a brief moment of worry when he saw Rachel.
Raylan lifted his hat from the empty stool and set it on the bar.
Boyd paused before sitting down. “A man with my reputation might be hesitant to sit down between two marshals.”
Rachel glanced to Raylan who just gave a dismissive grunt. Boyd sat down at the bar and stole a swig from Raylan’s bottle. “Deputy Brooks, while it is of course a pleasure to see you, I must admit that I am slightly confused as to your presence because on the phone Raylan seemed to give the impression of being alone.”
“A lot can change in the time it takes to drive up from Harlan, Mr. Crowder.”
Boyd laughed. “Indeed, thankfully y’all haven’t been calling me up here so often lately.”
“Now I have to drive down to Harlan like every day to save your life or see your stupid pretty face while you barely hide all the crimes you’re doin’” Raylan Grumbled as he took the bottle back. His hand brushed past Boyd’s fingers along the way, sending them both glancing down at the point of impact.
“It’s been a while since we’ve passed a bottle between us,” Boyd remarked.
Raylan finished a swig before answering. “Up off the Owen’s farm in August of 89 right?”
“You wondered about what a real city might be like to live in, trying to hint that you were leaving.”
“And you just went on about smog and traffic and there not being trees anywhere.”
“I knew it would never work, but I had to try and convince you to stay,” Boyd admitted.
“Dumbass.”
Boyd sighed in agreement. The sigh settled into silence as they both stared off into grief and regret.
Rachel interrupted the pity when she couldn’t take it anymore. “So how about some happier conversation?”
“You were talkin’ about your date weren’t you?” Raylan said, and then leaned into Boyd to offer context. “She just went on her first date with a lady after she divorced her husband last month.”
Boyd smiled at Raylan’s closeness and then turned to Rachel. “Well congratulations, deputy Brooks.”
Rachel nodded, hesitating a moment between annoyance at Raylan for outing her and gratitude to him for not letting her flounder in trying to do it herself. She eventually left it as unimportant and started talking. “Yeah, uh, where was I?”
“MMA match with someone not quite so criminally evil as Boyd.”
“Right, yeah, it was nice. Relaxed but exciting.”
“That’s plenty vague,” Raylan said, you avoiding telling us she stayed the night?”
“No, she was a perfect gentleman… And so was I,” Rachel said, adding the last part when Raylan started to open his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” Boyd said, “It appears I misunderstood the situation, where you not already seeing your date when you left your husband?”
"No, I didn't meet her till two weeks after I left him."
"Then, well not to be too forward, but why did you leave him?"
"Boyd," Raylan grumbled in warning.
Rachel was grateful for Raylan speaking up, but answered the question regardless, glad for more chances to say the reasons she never gave her mother's friends when they asked.
"I didn't feel the things towards him he wanted, and I didn't want the things he thought he felt for me. We both deserve to find something better."
"But didn't you feel some obligation to him? Like if you ended it, your history, all the words of seduction you shared, and the hours spent in survivable contentment would be lost into nothing?"
Raylan changed his look at Boyd, coming to some realization about what he was actually talking about.
"I don’t know about your situation, but my marriage didn’t exactly have a lot of seduction involved.” Rachel answered.
“Yeah, she marries a beauty of a man and then has to ask me if I think he’s attractive,” Raylan butted in.
“A beauty of a man you say?” Boyd said.
“You jealous?” Raylan asked, giving Boyd a friendly poke to the shoulder.
Boyd chuckled like that was the most ridiculous thing. “I just never heard you talk like that about a guy.”
“I’d be happy to change that, do you want me to start with your face or your butt?”
“Now Raylan, as educational as that might be I imagine it might make deputy brooks a tad uncomfortable.”
“Quite a lot more than a tad,” Rachel said, looking at her drink to avoid seeing the dopey horniness on Raylan’s face.
“Fine,” Raylan said, expression unchanged.
“What I was trying to get at,” Boyd said, “Was that you seem more open to talk about this stuff, than I have ever seen you. Of course I must concede the possibility that this is a change that happened in Miami and I have just not been in a position to hear it.”
“Nah, I’m just tired of giving a shit about what anyone might think.”
“That’s a commendable attitude, but a dangerous one given where we live.”
“This ain’t Harlan, Boyd.” Raylan reached across the bar and took Boyd’s hand. “We can sit here like this the whole night and no one’s gonna start anything.” Raylan laced his fingers through Boyd’s hesitant one’s. “And even if they do, Rachel will beat the shit out of them.”
“Of course,” Rachel said in response to Boyd’s questioning glance.
Boyd hesitated a moment and then clasped his own fingers closed. “Alright Raylan, let’s see how welcoming Lexington is.” He swept over the whole bar with his eyes, taking in the young college crowd absorbed in their own drinking and conversations. He turned back around when Raylan handed him the bottle.
“So is this about the same as what you did back in the day?” Rachel asked after watching the bottle pass between them three more times.
Boyd and Raylan shared a glance before Boyd answered. “Well we’d be alone back then, and outside, and the alcohol would be worse….” He hesitated on the edge of bringing up a final point and Raylan said it for him.
“And we’d be complaining about our dads, who at that point were very much alive.”
“That’s not quite the romantic scene I was expecting.”
“We weren’t exactly the most romantic fellows at 19,” Boyd answered. “What we wanted and all we could offer was some escape from the world. The years have just added some wishful reminiscence to our memory. As they are oft to do in years of toil and loneliness.”
Raylan rolled his eyes. “Yes, toil and loneliness that’s the best way to describe starting two different criminal enterprises.” Raylan’s voice was warm despite the insult.
“If you want to tell me a better form of toil in Harlan county, I would be glad to try it out.”
“You already own a god damn bar, Boyd, how bout you just have actual customers in there?”
“Well now, the Crowder bar has something of a reputation, it might be difficult to just convince the good people of Harlan county to ignore that.”
“You offer cheap beer, it won’t matter what criminal enterprise they think you’re running.” Raylan tipped the bottle up to get the last drops in it before setting it down on the bar. He started to call for the bartender but was interrupted by Rachel.
“You sure you haven’t had enough for the evening?”
Raylan leaned forward to glare across Boyd at her, but the movement gave him time to think. “Fair enough I suppose, I gotta see Dunlop and get to Harlan tomorrow.”
“Dunlop? You’re gonna see him on your day off?”
Raylan’s face drunkenly stumbled through showing panic at having revealed that before settling into a forced casualness to lie. “Yeah, he’s taking over some of my cases while I’m gone and had a few questions.”
Rachel gave a nod and a shrug, before taking a long drink of her beer to hide the gears turning in her head. Dunlop had been talking about how busy his day was gonna be tomorrow because he was running three prison transfers. The first of which was… Rachel nearly choked on her beer as the realization hit her.
She cleared her throat to avoid coughing. “I have to piss,” she said and then headed to the restroom, being sure to not pull out her phone until she was out of sight from the bar.
Dunlop answered with a grouchy “yeah?” on the fourth ring.
“I need to ask a favor.”
“Can it wait two minutes? It’s final Jeopardy.”
“No, but I’ll be quick.”
“Fine.”
“I need to take over your first prison transfer tomorrow morning.”
“Just the first one?”
“Yeah.”
“But the whole point of doing them all together is that I drive to the first one, take the prisoner to supermax where I trade him for the second one and so on.”
“Yes I know, but Raylan is gonna try and get a word with Mr. Moseley tomorrow morning, and I need to be there to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. It’s not like the pickup is on your way is it?”
“Oh c’mon! How could you guess Johnson!” Dunlop snapped at his television before answering the question. “Right, I guess you have a bit of a point there. Fine I’ll just head right to the second transfer, but you owe me one.”
“Thanks,” Rachel said and hung up.
Boyd waited until Rachel had left before asking Raylan about his plans. “So it seems like you might be intending to do something stupid tomorrow?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Raylan, I have a pretty good sense of how you lie, and I know that your daddy was killed, no matter how terrible the man was, how much hate you felt for him, you aren’t gonna just let that lie.”
“I’m not you, Boyd.”
“No you are not, but please don’t try and pretend you don’t have your own darkness.”
“My own darkness huh? What do you think I’m gonna do with my darkness?”
“I don’t know, Raylan, but I doubt it would be pleasant.”
“Well what would you have done to your daddy’s killer that night in the rain if I hadn’t stopped you?”
“I was gonna shoot that thug. If I hadn’t been bleeding out, I might have tried to make her hurt more. If I had your skill and badge to wield, I would have made her life as painful as it could be as she rotted in some tiny cell.”
“You gonna tell me I shouldn’t try and do the same?”
Boyd paused, sensing the trap Raylan had laid for him. “I won’t, given the things that I have done, it would be a grave overstep and disrespect. However I will say that I am grateful to you for stopping me that night. If you hadn’t I doubt I would have held onto my law abiding streak as long as I did.”
“Your law abiding streak huh? That’s what you're calling it?”
“I can’t think of a better name.”
“How about a brief moment of common sense among a long stretch of stupid?”
“Now many a man would argue that it’s stupider to crawl down a mine shaft for table scraps than to have conversations under duress for the whole meal, regardless of the legality of each option.”
“You’re tryin’ to argue that being a crime lord is a smart career move?”
“Now that might be a bit of an overstatement, but I am saying that there are stupider one’s.”
“I think I might have to agree with the outlaw on that one,” Rachel said as she sat back down.
“Why thank you, deputy Brooks,” Boyd answered.
Rachel recoiled from the gratitude. “Just to be clear though, I think you’re a terrible person and I’m only tolerating being near you because Raylan likes you.”
“I appreciate your honesty, it’s a rare thing to hear in my line of work.”
“I think I’ve provided you plenty,” Raylan said.
“Raylan, you only stopped lying about your feelings for me a week ago.”
“But I’ve always been very clear about your many flaws.”
“That you have.” Boyd almost continued, but stopped as he watched the bartender move past, clearly avoiding looking at his and Raylan’s joined hands.
Boyd glanced at Raylan, meeting his assessing gaze. “Much better than that would have gone in Harlan," Raylan said.
Boyd swallowed down a wave of feeling and then breathed out a calming breath. “Yeah.”
Raylan flexed his fingers in Boyd’s hand. “Kind of nice isn’t it?”
“That it is,” Boyd said, lost in thought. He glanced up after a moment, finding Raylan smiling warm and soft. He couldn’t help but smile back, falling into Raylan’s eyes, no longer fearing that he didn’t know the man behind them.
Rachel looked away, trying to pretend that the sappiness was gross instead of filling her with warmth and hope.
“You really drove all the way up from Harlan for this?” Raylan asked
“Of course, and I’m mighty glad that I did.”
“I’m not gonna hear about some daring crime you got up to, just before you showed up, am I?”
“If you do hear of such a thing, I will not have been involved in it. I hope you haven’t been assuming that I’m responsible for all the crime in Kentucky?”
“Only the stuff that involves blowing shit up.”
“Well, tonight I’m just here for you. And while I cannot truthfully say that my intentions are pure, they are not criminal.”
Raylan looked down, now fully regretting the ankle holster. He glanced back to Rachel, begging for some distraction.
Rachel asked the first question she could come up with. “Boyd, didn’t you come up here to talk to him about his dead dad?”
Boyd turned to look at her, doing his best to hide both his confusion and annoyance. “Well yes, but in the name of politeness I was allowing Raylan to bring it up if he so chose.”
“Aren’t you a gentleman,” Raylan said.
“I try my level best.”
“So I’m just supposed to bring up whatever odd thought about Arlo that shows up in my head?”
“Any thoughts you do want to share I would be happy to hear. On the phone you were in such a sharing mood that I, perhaps erroneously, assumed that you would have no qualms about speaking your mind. My apologies if I should have instead stated my interest in hearing whatever thoughts your grief might incline you to say.”
“Jesus you like the sound of your voice,” Rachel grumbled.
Raylan laughed. “That he does, but since he said he wants to hear my thoughts, I am happy to oblige.” He poked a finger towards Boyd. “You worked with Arlo for several months, did you ever actually like him?”
Boyd gathered his thoughts for a moment. “He had his uses in the endeavors we were partaking in. We didn’t argue much, he was willing to follow my instructions, a rare thing for people in our profession. But if I might cut to the chase of what I think is the question you are actually asking: No, I never forgave him for what he did to you.”
“Oh, wow, and I suppose you demonstrated that grudge you held on my account during every late night conversation you had while digging some poor sucker's grave?”
“Well I didn’t exactly have the man on my Christmas card list.”
“Boyd, you have never sent a Christmas card in your life.”
Boyd acknowledged the point with a nod as Rachel laughed.
“Now Raylan, what would you have had me do? Your daddy was not in a particularly good place in the time I spent with him. Would you rather I hadn’t taken care of him?”
Raylan swallowed down a harsher retort before he spoke. “Boyd, I would have rather he was one of the bodies you dumped down a mine shaft.”
“If I had known it would have won your favor, I might have done exactly that.”
Raylan chuckled, his anger dying off leaving only the joy and amusement of being near Boyd. He wanted that feeling to continue so he opened up a safer conversation about baseball. Rachel had a genuine interest in the subject, and was happy to get into it. Boyd didn’t, but he was happy to listen to Raylan and take what opportunities he could to quip at him.
Conversation flowed from there with some prompting from Rachel at the silent request of Raylan. She brought out her perp stories and even her nephew's vomit story. Each providing the discussion she had hoped for.
“Children really are something,” Raylan muttered at the story's end.
“Indeed, and I think you’ll be having one pretty soon?” Boyd answered.
“Yeah.”
“I do not envy you the vomit and shit you will have to clean. Though I might envy the chance to prove myself better than my own father.”
“You’re also avoiding the possibility of being just as bad.”
“A possibility that I reckon I am far more likely to experience than you are.”
“Don’t count me out just yet.”
“Raylan,” Rachel said. “As the only person here who has been involved in raising a child, I am pretty sure that you’re gonna do fine. You worrying now puts you ahead of the worst of the deadbeats already.”
“Are you gonna give your judgement of my parental ability?” Boyd asked.
“Well everything I know about you says you would be terrible, but I don’t exactly know much about you outside a law enforcement context.”
“I suppose it is possible that all of the crimes that I have been accused of might reflect poorly on my character and judgment. Though do you perhaps find the fact that I have been convicted of very few of those a point in my favor?”
“No,” Rachel and Raylan chorussed.
“Fair enough.”
Raylan shook his head, taking in the guiltless joy he had once worried was impossible hovering over the ache of grief in his chest and the tiredness stinging his eyes. “Given the drive you have ahead of you, I think it might be time for us to say our goodbyes.”
“Indeed, though if you would like I would be happy to stay longer and find… alternative sleeping arrangements.”
“That ain’t happening,” Rachel said as she stood up. Raylan nodded his reluctant agreement, knowing it was for the best.
“Deputy brooks I do believe your colleague is able to make up his own mind.”
“And I believe that you are capable of convincing a grieving man to do something stupid.”
Boyd didn’t let the hurt of that truth show as he stood up. “Fair enough.” He gave Raylan’s hand a final squeeze before letting go. “Goodnight Raylan.”
“Night Boyd,” Raylan said.
Rachel walked with Boyd out of the bar, trying and failing to not be obviously making sure he actually left. Boyd didn’t much care though. He noted the reality and then returned his focus to the question he hadn’t quite dared ask Rachel.
“Deputy Brooks, could I ask you something?” He finally asked just outside the bar door.
“Sure,” Rachel said as she started towards her car.
“Well, I was just wondering how exactly you started the conversation with your now ex husband that led to that separation?”
“I said that we needed to talk and he pretty much said the rest.” Rachel stopped walking and turned back to Boyd. “I think we spend so much time trying to convince ourselves of our lies that we don’t convince the people close to us.”
Boyd nodded his thanks for the answer. “I’ll see you around, deputy.” He turned and headed to his truck.
Rachel watched him go, hoping that their next encounter wouldn’t involve firearms, if only for Raylan’s sake. Finally she turned back to her own car, suppressing a yawn. She had to get home quickly if she wanted to make it to the prison transfer before Raylan did.