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There was about a month of school left after Beauty and the Beast wrapped up, and since the cast and elected to pull out of the Menkies the whole thing was a weird kind of giddy limbo. Without a regular rehearsal all that was left was some manner of finals, but Miss Jenn hadn't exactly settled into a "traditional" teaching setup, so all she asked of them was a monologue or solo number in order for her to "adequately judge how their performing capabilities had improved over the past year" (her words). Basically what this meant was that after a few days to get through the two dozen or so kids involved, all that was left was to goof off and have fun with friends before summer (and yes, they'd all sang various parts of "What Time Is It?" multiple times throughout this process).
On this day the "inner circle" were lounging around the auditorium trying to guess what the next fall musical would be. Seb was dead set on Into the Woods, while Carlos was holding out for Kinky Boots. "Is 'Land of Lola' even in your repertoire, Carlos?" Kourtney asked jokingly.
"I'll make it be part of my repertoire, thank you very much," Carlos fired back. "But what makes you think I'd even be aiming for Lola?"
"We've met you," Gina sassed back, and the two giggled as she leaned into him.
"Maybe she'll go more vintage," Ashlyn suggested. "Ooh, what about My Fair Lady?"
"I don't think I know that one?" Seb asked, his facing falling into the trademark adorable confusion as everyone around him gasped in mock horror.
"Really?" Ricky called. "Even I know that one. It was one of mom's favourites."
"C'mon dude. 'Rain in Spain'?" E.J. asked.
"I'm not familiar," Seb replied. "Sorry, my Broadway knowledge has a very specific 80s-to-present day window."
"I'm trying to teach him more, it's tragically adorable," Carlos stage-whispered to Gina.
Ricky walked over to Seb. "You watched Glee though, right? Remember in the first season when Emma does the dance in her wedding gown?" Then before Seb had a chance to answer, Ricky had swept him into a waltz and began singing "I Could Have Danced All Night" in a goofy baritone. The girls squealed as the two spun around on stage, and Carlos cheered when Ricky gave Seb a big dip.
"Oh my gosh Ricky Bowen, when did you get so good at that?" Nini called from the sidelines.
"Well when I wasn't practising with Ashlyn I was practicing with Big Red." He steered himself and Seb towards his bestie, who was seated up close beside Ashlyn on a block. "Turns out he was lying about having two left feet the whole time."
Big Red chuckled sheepishly. "It was kinda hard to keep up the facade after my tap secret got out."
"I would have paid to see that," Ashlyn said with a big grin.
"Hey, Big Red is a real bro. He was my first dance partner, my first duet partner, my first kiss, first doctor if you wanna count the time I wiped out hard when we were six -"
"Wait, rewind!" Kourtney suddenly shouted. "Did you say first kiss?"
Ricky stopped dancing, realizing that everyone in the room was looking at him like he'd just announced he could fly and breath fire. "Uh, yeah? It was just practice though." He glanced at Big Red, who had become deathly pale (a pretty high bar considering). "What's with the weird looks?"
Nini broke the silence with an awkward laugh. "You're joking, right?" She took a step closer to him. "I thought you said I was your first kiss?"
"Uh, I mean, yeah, with a girl. But I wanted to make sure I did it right the first time, so me and Big Red agreed to practice with each other so that we'd be ready when we found girls we really liked." Looking at Big Red again, he saw that the boy was making a "kill" gesture with his hand over his neck, trying to get him to stop. "What? Don't all guys do that?"
E.J. shook his head. "No...not straight guys at least..."
Ricky was suddenly very aware that he was still holding Seb's hand from the dance. He bit his lip and looked to the blond for any kind of port in the storm he suddenly felt growing, but Seb looked just as confused as he felt. "Uh, Ricky, I don't want to pry, but..."
"Nope!" Carlos marched over and pulled Seb away from Ricky. "I'm suddenly feeling very understanding of your jealousy from Spring Break, and if we're gonna have this conversation then we're doing it with you closer to me than to him."
Gina hadn't sad anything, but her hand was clasped over her mouth like she'd just learned the secrets of the universe. "Holy shit..." Ricky heard her murmur.
After what seemed like an eternity, Big Red grabbed Ricky by the shoulders and steered him towards one of the exits. "Guys, it's been a long time since the thing that Ricky's remembering, and I don't think he's remembering it 100% correctly, so I'm just gonna take him outside and clear some things up, okay? Okay, great, let's take five."
Once they were gone, Nini spun to face the rest of the group. "That just happened right? Like, I didn't just imagine that whole confession."
"No we all heard it loud and clear," E.J. answered.
"Just to be clear, we're not...mad about this, right?" Carlos asked.
"No, of course not!" Kourtney quickly declared. "Obviously if what's happening...is happening, then we're all happy that it happened and we're gonna love and support Ricky and Big Red just as much as before if not more so. We're just a little surprised that the thing that's happening is happening in the first place." Everyone nodded easily, except for Ashlyn, and Kourtney turned to her. "Honey, do you know what's happening?"
Ashleyn fidgeted in her seat. "I...plead the fifth? And I am going to go support my boyfriend and his boyf - best friend in whichever way they feel is the way they need to be supported right now. Excuse me!" And she was bolting from the room as well, leaving the other six to sit in another awkard silence.
"...what time is it?"
"Not now, Seb."
"Okay."
Once they were outside, Big Red looked up and down the hall to make sure there wasn't anyone else present to listen in. "Okay, coast is clear."
"What's going on, Red?" Ricky asked. "Why all the cloak and dagger?"
Big Red looked Ricky dead in the eyes - damn those big brown eyes, he looked like Bambi. "Ricky, I didn't think I had to tell you this, but apparently I do so here it goes - there are certain things that straight guys don't do with each other when they're in middle school. You know, like, kiss."
Ricky tried to figure out Red's expression - it was caught somewhere between fear, excitement, and concern. "But you said we were just practising."
"Yeah of course I said that! It was the only I could think of to get you to kiss me!" Red cried out, then immediately checked again to make sure his outburst hadn't attracted anyone. "I didn't think you'd say yes but then you did, and then you suggested it a bunch of times after that -"
"I wanted to get good at it!"
"Ricky...maybe there are exceptions but generally guys who are completely totally straight do not try to kiss their guy best friend multiple times." He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I don't want to presume or label you or anything, but I've always been pretty sure you were like me."
"Like you..?" Ricky frowned. "But you're with Ashlyn."
"Come on Ricky, you're not that dense," Big Red chuckled while punching him in the shoulder. "I'm bi. You probably are too. Or pan, again, not labelling." He saw more confusion go over his friend's face. "Okay so pansexual is when gender doesn't factor into the people you're attracted to - it's kinda like bisexuality and there is overlap, and I've seen some people online start as one and then refine themselves to another."
"Gender is a cage," Ashlyn said over Big Red's shoulder as she approached the two. "My love is not constrained by gender, or aesthetics associated with it. I just like people for who they are." She smiled and held Big Red's hand when she got close enough. "I'm pan, too if that helps."
Ricky bit his lip as he tried to process everything he was hearing. "But I'm straight."
Big Red and Ashlyn shared a look with each other, then turned back to the boy.
"Weren't you listening to him?"
"I had the whole kissing story."
"Like that was the point."
"You're really not."
"Oh he's going down."
They grabbed Ricky as he started to teeter and steered him closer to the wall so that he could safely slide down the lockers to the floor, then both sat down in front of him. Red took one of his hands, and Ashlyn the other.
"Sorry for rushing you through all this," Red said. "I honestly thought you'd figured it out and just hadn't told anyone yet. I didn't realize that you were still closeted to yourself."
"I...damn. But I've only dated Nini, and then I had a weird thing with Gina..."
Ashlyn giggled. "Hehe, chocolates..." she caught a concerned glance from Red. "Right, not the time."
"That doesn't make a difference in the kind of people you're attracted to. Like, think back - you've probably thought about kissing guys, or going on dates with them, just as often as you have girls."
"I mean...yeah." Ricky flung himself back in his memories and thought about the time he saw E.J. in his Troy Bolton jersey and how nice his arms looked, or when really invested in making sure Seb and Carlos saved their relationship, or even a brief moment from the trip to North High when Antoine caught Ashlyn and his mind flashed Aw man I wish he could catch me in his arms. He turned to Big Red incredulously. "Wait, so you have those thoughts too?"
"Yeah. I mean I went through all this a while ago, I know what you're going through...not that this was any easier to figure out at age 12 than it is now."
Ricky turned to Ashlyn. "And you too? Guys and girls?"
"And a plethora of others beyond," Ashlyn confirmed.
Ricky stared into space between them, trying to process basically his entire life over again. "How do I know which one I am? Bi or...or pan?"
"It's kind of up to you?" Ashlyn said after a pause to think. "I did a bunch of research before I settled on a label."
"I picked mine because I like the colour palette," Red added.
"But don't feel any pressure to label yourself right now. Or ever! There are people who just like who they like and that's just...what it's like."
"Huh." So many things seemed to fit into place now, especially with how his and Big Red's friendship developed - wait. "Hey Red?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you have a crush on me?" Ricky asked as his smirk finally came back to him.
Red blushed and looked down. "Uh...I used to. I think that's why I wanted to be friends with you, even if I didn't know at the time. But at some point I realized whatever journey you were on to figure yourself out was going a different way than mine, so I backed off. Now I love Ashlyn, and I'm happy to be your friend."
Ricky squeezed Big Red's hand. "Best friend."
The couple helped Ricky back to his feet, and he quickly pulled Big Red into a tight hug, and after that was done did the same with Ashlyn. "Uh...okay. Yeah. I guess I have a lot to think about and look up." He gestured to the auditorium doors. "Do you think I should come out to the others?"
"It couldn't hurt," Ashlyn suggested, "since, y'know, they kind of saw the whole thing go down and basically figured out what you just did too."
"Right," Ricky nodded, then smiled. "Gonna be some weird conversations going forward." Then he paled again. "Oh no, I totally outed you two just now, didn't I?"
Ashlyn patted Ricky's shoulder. "It's fine. You obviously had no idea any of this was going on."
"And honestly?" Red took Ashlyn's hand in his. "We were kinda thinking about telling everyone before summer break anyway."
"Cool." Ricky took another deep breath. "I think I need to go to the washroom, maybe build some confidence back up, but I think I'll be okay if you guys wanna go back in first."
The couple nodded. "Just...don't hesitate to ask me for any advice if you need it, okay bro?"
Ricky smiled and nodded. "Of course. Hey, I guess this makes you another first of mine? First person I came out to?"
Big Red smiled wide. "I'm honoured."
"Does it get any easier?"
"Nope!" Ashlyn declared, and her bluntness made Ricky burst into giggles.
"Okay, okay, you two go, I'll be back in in a bit."
As the couple walked back to the auditorium, Ashlyn leaned in close to Big Red. "You love me?"
"Well, yeah, I've said it before."
"I know, I just swoon a little every time you say so. I love you too." They held each other close as they entered the auditorium to make their announcement.
Meanwhile, Ricky splashed some cold water on his face and looked at his reflection. "I'm...bi." He checked to make sure nobody else was in the bathroom with him, then back to his reflection. "I'm bisexual. I'm pansexual. Hey, I'm Ricky Bowen and I'm bisexual. Oh, me? I'm pansexual. Yeah, I'm...not straight. I like guys and girls and apparently there's more past that too. Today, at least. Tomorrow? Who knows.
Either way, I'm Ricky."