Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Are you sure you want me to be the cooperating teacher, George?" Jonathan Turner shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I mean, this is only my second year here. Isn't there someone more qualified for this?"

George Feeny clasped his hands in front of him and leaned forward on his desk. "Perhaps," he said seriously. "But according to the handbook the cooperating teacher must be someone who is committed to life-long learning, recognized as an expert in their subject matter, has skill in effective classroom management techniques, strong oral and written communication skills, excellent human relations skills, and a desire, willingness, and ability to work cooperatively with colleagues and student teachers. In the last year, Mr. Turner, you have proven that you are a capable teacher. I believe that you are as qualified for this as any other teacher here."

"I'm flattered, really. But I think I fail in one major area," Jonathan countered.

"Where's that?"

"I don't have that desire or willingness to work with a student teacher. I have enough trouble keeping the kids interested in literature- I don't need some know-it-all punk student teacher to contend with as well. They're cocky and walk around with a chip on their shoulder constantly. I should know..." he said somewhat sheepishly. "I was one."

Feeny raised an eyebrow. "I see," he paused a beat. "Well, you've convinced me, Jonathan."

He watched the relief spread over the young teacher's face who thought he was getting out of overseeing the internship. With a slightly wicked smile he finished, "You're the perfect teacher for the job."

"You can't be serious," Jonathan groaned in dismay.

"Oh, but I am. Her name is Audrey Andrews. You have a meeting with her after school on Friday." With that, the principal began to rearrange some papers and folders on his desk, ending the meeting.

"Great," the English Lit teacher sighed. "There goes the year."

Chapter Text

The final bell of the day rang much to Jonathan Turner's dismay. He still had another ten minutes before he had to meet the student teacher and was hoping that something would come up so that he could cancel it.

Watching the seconds creep by was unnerving, so he re-read the letter from the school board he had received on Tuesday.

"Thank you for agreeing to serve as a cooperating teacher for a student teacher from City University of New York." "Like I had a choice", he muttered under his breath. "Student teaching provides an exciting opportunity for our candidates to fully embrace their role as emerging professionals and to practice what they have learned about the teaching/learning process.

Effective communication is critical to a successful student teaching experience, and this handbook is one means of encouraging that communication. It is intended to serve as a supplement to other materials..." Blah, blah, he thought unhappily and sighed.

You have been selected as a cooperating teacher because of your strong dedication to the teaching profession, your history as a highly skilled and effective teacher, your willingness to mentor someone into your profession, and your high level of professional ethics. We deeply appreciate the time, energy, and expertise you share with our student teachers. Thank you!"

He really didn't mind student teachers being around- he just didn't want them in his classroom if only because he remembered his less than stellar student teaching days. He had been a royal thorn-in-the-side to his cooperating teacher for the most part of his internship and made the year unnecessarily difficult for them both.

Jonathan leafed through the file Feeny had given him on his student teacher with five minutes left to kill.

Andrews, Audrey Theresa

Undergraduate from City University of New York; fully admitted into Teacher Education

maintained a 3.9 GPA; passed Praxi I; completed all prerequisite course requirements; outstanding academic record

Audrey's resume was picture perfect and reading it made him think of Topanga who no doubt would end up with a similar resume one day.

The rest of the file contained personal information on Audrey; she was a New York City native, 21-years-old, graduated valedictorian from Elizabeth Irwin High School.

One piece of information that Jonathan found interesting was that she had attended four semesters at Julliard in addition to her sophomore and junior years of high school. The record didn't state what she studied there or why she failed to complete her training; it only revealed that she had received an unprecedented invitation to attend the prestigious performing arts school while still a high school student.

Time obstinately shuffled its feet along and he absently studied the handbook. Again. The book fell open to a chapter entitled "The ABC's of Working With A Student Teacher".

Allow your student teacher to take risks.

Be a positive role model.

Comment on the good things you see.

Don't interrupt his lesson.

Enjoy your time with your student teacher.

Find time just to talk.

Give frequent and sincere praise.

Have a thank-you party for your student teacher on her last day.

Introduce your student teacher to every staff member in the school.

Just be yourself.

Keep an open mind.

Listen! Listen! Listen!

Model effective teaching strategies.

Never criticize your student teacher in front of others.

Observe him regularly and provide immediate feedback.

Provide her with the materials she needs for success.

Quickly include your student teacher in your classroom routine.

Reinforce her strengths.

Support your student teacher's ideas.

Treat them to lunch occasionally.

Use your student teacher's abilities whenever possible.

Value and respect his opinions.

Warmly welcome your student teacher to your class.

X-cellent teaching ideas in your files? Make copies for your student teacher.

You are the experienced professional. Always reflect that in your behavior.

Zero in on areas in which the student teacher needs help and provide support.

"Good grief," he thought disdainfully. "Almost sounds like they want you to date 'em."

A soft rap at the door interrupted his musings. He instinctively glanced up at the clock first; still four minutes to go until his meeting. He turned his attention to the doorway where a girl he didn't recognize stood. She glanced around the room with wide stormy eyes. She would have looked as though she stepped off the cover of Allure if it hadn't been for her apparent nervousness. She clutched a couple of folders in front of her.

Jonathan raised his eyebrows slightly. Must be one of the new students, he thought.

"May I help you?" he asked.

The girl jumped slightly. "Y-yes," she said weakly. She cleared her throat and frowned at a piece of paper in her hand.

"I'm looking for a Mr. Jonathan Turner." She had steadied her voice and sounded more confident than she looked.

Jonathan stood up and came around to the front of his desk. "That'd be me," he said after a moment.

The girl stood straighter and smiled slightly as though she had just overcome her biggest hurdle.

"I'm Audrey Andrews," she said with a warm grin and extended a pale hand to him. "Your student teacher."

Again, Jonathan's response was a bit delayed as he studied her. He ventured to guess that it had been dance that she had studied at Julliard- she had a ballerina's slight build and seemed to exude a grace and poise in spite of her nervousness.

Jonathan mentally shook himself from staring at her.

"Right," he replied, slightly embarrassed. He took her hand and gave her a stiff smile. He wasn't entirely sure what he had expected the student teacher to be like, but she wasn't at all what he had imagined.

The meeting went by swiftly as Jonathan gave her an overview of what to expect. She seemed greatly relieved that she would only be observing for the first two weeks. Jonathan covered everything on his agenda much faster than anticipated; Audrey listened intently to everything he had to say and when he was finished, she asked him a series of questions about her internship. As the meeting progressed, she became more comfortable and demonstrated that there was an intellectual mind behind her pretty face.

Jonathan was impressed by her preparation- something he hadn't done for his cooperating teacher. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe...

Audrey stood up at the conclusion of their meeting, shifting her books to rest on her hip.

"It was really nice to meet you, Mr. Turner," she said. "I can't wait to start."

"Yeah," he smiled and paused a beat. "Nice to meet you, too."

She flashed him a shy smile and walked out of the room, waist-length fiery tresses swinging as she went.

Audrey woke up early on Monday, dread and anticipation knotting her stomach up. She must have changed clothes half-a-dozen times in the quest for the perfect outfit for her first day of interning. She was worried about being too casual; it had surprised her that her cooperating teacher wore jeans, but it made her feel better about dress code until she ran into the sharply dressed Mr. Feeny after her Friday meeting. Trying to find a happy medium between the two styles of attire, Audrey finally decided on black dress slacks and a simple fitted white sweater with extra-long sleeves. After slipping on a pair of strappy black heels, she scurried away from her closet lest she be tempted to change again.

Audrey checked the clock every few seconds as she danced around the tiny kitchen of her miniscule apartment, opening and closing the cabinet and refrigerator doors without taking anything out.

She knew she had to eat something, but nothing appealed to her.

Maybe I could skip breakfast just this once. No one will know...

Audrey shook her head fiercely as though trying to get the thought out of her head.

No, no, you have to eat! she told herself. Come on!

The redhead grabbed a banana and poured a glass of skim milk. She forgot about the time as she forced herself to eat the piece of fruit. She managed to eat it and choke down the milk. Audrey steadied herself against the kitchen countertop, fighting to stop her body from rejecting the sustenance. Waves of nausea rolled over her.

It's all in your head, Aud. You can do this...

Eventually, the feeling subsided, and she was able to move again.

Audrey glanced at the clock again and decided to go ahead and leave for school.

Jonathan walked into his classroom, reading over the syllabus for the week. He passed Eric Matthews sitting in the last row and Shawn Hunter sitting in the front row. He stopped abruptly in front of his desk and turned on his heel to face the class.

What's wrong with this picture? he wondered rhetorically to himself.

With an arched eyebrow, he studied Shawn suspiciously.

"Hunter."

Shawn didn't respond; his attention was locked onto to something behind his teacher.

"Hey! Hunter!"

"Huh? What?" Shawn blinked and looked up at Turner. "I haven't done anything yet."

Jonathan ignored him. "You never sit in the front. Why are you sittin' in the front?"

Shawn sighed dreamily and returned his attention back to the front of the room.

"Because English is my favorite class," he stated with a slightly goofy grin.

"Uh-huh." Jonathan took the hint and turned around. As he expected, Audrey was busy preparing for her first day of observation and was thus the reason why the front rows were filled with guys. It didn't explain one thing though...

He walked to the back row and stood in front of Eric.

Eric looked up at him and seemed annoyed.

"What are you doin' in my room?" Turner wanted to know.

"I'm here for class," Eric responded, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Jonathan smiled sardonically. "Okay, but there's one problem with that."

"What?" Eric kept moving, trying to look around the teacher.

"You're not in my class."

"So?" Eric stood up, but he couldn't see over Turner's head. "I signed up. Could you move, please? You're blocking the view."

Jonathan let out an exasperated sigh.

Cory Matthews entered the room just in time to hear his English teacher say, "Get out of my room, Matthews!"

"All right!" A confused Cory turned around and headed out the door. "I'm goin', I'm goin'."

Jonathan glanced up. "Not you. Your brother."

"Oh," Cory smiled sheepishly and entered the room again. "Right."

A dejected Eric reluctantly left, but Cory stopped him.

"Why are you here?"

Eric cast a longing look over his shoulder. "Just enjoying the view," he replied, pushing his bottom lip out in a pout.

Cory shook his head, convinced that his brother was a nutcase. "Whatever." He took a seat next to Topanga, who wasn't happy to have been relegated to the back row.

"Okay, everyone," Jonathan said to begin the class. "We have a special guest who will be with us for the year. She's from the City University of New York and will be doing her student teaching here. Class, this is Audrey Andrews- that's Miss Andrews to you."

A collective sigh was heard from the front row boys.

Yeesh, Jonathan thought. This ain't going to be a cakewalk.

Mr. Feeny stopped by Mr. Turner's class to see how things were progressing. He stood outside the door, observing through the window.

Audrey was introducing herself to an oddly quiet class. While the girls asked her questions about herself, the boys gawked at her, all but drooling. She was quite engaging to watch actually- George seemed to recall that she had taken several public speaking courses, had been actively involved with theatre throughout high school and college, and thus knew how to hold an audience. But the boys weren't the only ones whose attention she held.

George frowned slightly as he noticed that Jonathan seemed equally enchanted with her.

That won't do, he thought dourly.

With a final glance at Turner, Feeny retreated to his office, vowing silently to watch the young English teacher closely.

Chapter Text

"So what'd ya say we go do something this Saturday?" Cory let his tray clatter on the table next to his best friend. It was Friday, and he was antsy for the weekend to begin.

"Aren't you goin' out with Topanga this weekend?" Shawn asked as he stabbed at his lunch with a plastic knife.

"No," he replied, flopping down in the chair. "She's got some paper due, so she's gonna spend all day Saturday at the library. And when she can't be there, she's gonna be at home studying. Can you believe that?"

Shawn shook his head mournfully. "What a waste of a perfectly good weekend."

"Yeah," Cory poked at the brown "gravy" on his plate. "So ya want to do something?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. The movies or something."

Shawn stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled them inside out. "Not unless they'll exchange lint for tickets."

Cory gave him a weak smile. "I'm broke, too."

The boys sat silently for a moment, contemplating the depressing situation.

An idea suddenly lit up Cory's eyes. He jumped in his seat slightly.

"Wanna raid a bathroom and mix random stuff together?"

Shawn chewed on the suggestion briefly. "Normally, I'd say no," he replied thoughtfully. "But seeing as we have no money, I say let's do it. It's either that or study."

"Cool," Cory abandoned his brown mush in favor of a chocolate pudding cup.

"So," Shawn said, leaning forward and lowering his voice. His eyes were shining. "Whadya think about the student teacher?"

"You mean Miss Andrews?" Cory struggled to get the seal off of the pudding cup. "She's cool." He sat the cup on the table and picked up a fork. "I'd say we lucked out by getting the two coolest teachers in school in the same class." Standing up, he poised the fork above the cup. "Mr. Turner is young and hip. Miss Andrews is younger and hip." He plunged the eating utensil into the heart of the container. It bounced off.

"Besides that," Shawn said hurriedly. "Is she hot or what?"

Cory shrugged as he attempted to puncture the pudding again. "She's pretty. Almost as pretty as Topanga."

"Right," Shawn rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend.

Cory put his body weight into stabbing the stubborn snack. The fork struck the lid with such a force that it yanked out of his hands and flew out of sight.

Cory dropped heavily into his seat again and gave the cup a shove. "I didn't really want it anyway," he muttered.

"Hey," Shawn tugged at his sleeve. "Do you think Miss Andrews will teach here after her internship?"

"Sha-a-a-awn?" Cory drawled, turning to him with a cheesy grin. "Do you have a crush on Mr. Turner's student teacher?"

"No!" he scoffed, straightening his shirt with a disdainful shrug. "I don't get crushes."

"Right," Cory nodded. "You got a thing for her then?"

"Maybe," he said mysteriously. "After all, she's not that much older than us."

A hand descended between them, holding Cory's flying fork. The boys' eyes followed the hand up the arm to the shoulder to the owner's face.

"I believe this is yours, Mr. Matthews," Mr. Feeny remarked with disapproval.

"Whadya know," the boy said, meekly taking his fork. "So it is."

As the principal walked away, he remarked to Shawn.

"And she is that much older, Mr. Hunter."

Audrey sat in her classroom, absently staring at a notebook that lay open in front of her. The week had gone by so fast- she couldn't believe she had only one week of observation left before she would have to start teaching on her own. The thought terrified her.

Why couldn't I have stayed at Julliard? she wondered. I was fearless there. Nothing in New York intimidated me. Everything here scares me. Why did I choose teaching, anyway?

Audrey actually knew why she had chosen the profession she had. Her mother had been a high school English teacher who died when she was thirteen. Her father said nothing would please him more than to see his little girl become a teacher like her mother. After her dreams of becoming a professional dancer had been shattered, she did what her father wanted and became an English major at City U.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she picked up a pen and began to write.

Daddy Dearest,

Well, I have survived my first week in Philadelphia. It is nothing like New York. I miss the fast-paced city life. I miss taking the subway to school. I miss our weekly trips to the Met and Central Park. But not to worry, your little girl is adjusting to the smaller city life just fine.

So far, my internship has been simple. I have only been observing and it will be another week before I actually begin to teach. I am looking forward to it.

My cooperating teacher is wonderful. He has gone out of his way to make my transition easy. We get along well, which is something to be grateful for. I spoke to Cassandra briefly this week, and she reports that her cooperating teacher is a hard-nosed tyrant who is impossible to get along with. She says the generation gap is so wide between them that nothing can bridge it. Mr. Turner (he has told me repeatedly to call him Jon, but I struggle with it because I cannot get used to calling a teacher by their first name) is much younger than most of the other teachers here. He wears jeans and an earring and drives a motorcycle- you would like him. I like him very much, and I am thankful for that, as I spend a great deal of time with him both in and out of school. There is also something very familiar about him, but it may just be me looking for something or someone that reminds me of home.

The principal, Mr. Feeny, is a hard one to figure out, and I suppose it is because I am not around him much. He reminds me a great deal of Mr. Pennington, my sociology teacher at City U.

I regret that I will not be able to come home this weekend. I have much information about teaching still to go over and will be spending Saturday with Mr. Turner. I will be back in New York the first chance I get.

I hope that my letter will find you doing as well as possible. I miss you terribly.

With all my love,

Your daughter

Audrey Theresa

Audrey finished her letter and carefully addressed it.

Mr. Richard Andrews c/o United Hospice of Rockland

11 Stokum Lane, New City, New York 10956

She sighed heavily as she sealed the envelope. She felt incredibly guilty- almost the entire letter was a lie. She wasn't adjusting well at all. She was homesick for New York and her friends there. In short, she was miserable. Mr. Turner was the only one who could brighten her day. And he was another matter that she had not been completely forth coming in. She failed to mention the slight attraction she had for her cooperating teacher. Audrey couldn't see the point of it, anyway. Mentioning it would only serve to worry her father unnecessarily and God knew he didn't need anything thing else to drain his energy.

Audrey glanced up at the clock unable to believe that it was only ten minutes into the lunch period. So far, she had managed to avoid the cafeteria scene, but she couldn't keep it up forever. One day she would have to join the other teachers at lunch and eat in front of them. It was a day she dreaded.

Jonathan found Audrey holed up in the classroom as she usually was during lunch. She had a plethora of reasons why- she had studying to do, notes to go over- but he suspected that there was something more to it. Perhaps she was shy, but that didn't seem right. She was at ease in front of people. She had been charming and engaging when he had introduced her to the other faculty members after her first day- very warm and friendly. One on one, Jonathan found her to be more timid until she became used to him. Now she was relaxed and outgoing. Shyness didn't seem to be a problem.

Audrey was writing away with slow exactness. Jonathan stopped in the doorway and watched her work. There was sadness about her as she wrote. He wondered why. Though they had spent quite a bit of time together over the last week going over the handbook material, he hadn't gotten to know her very well. He hoped the weekend would remedy that.

She paused in her writing, lifting the pen from the paper and touching it to her nose. He smiled at the gesture that made her all the more endearing.

She should be a kindergarten teacher, he thought, Not a high school one.

Audrey looked so frail and young and even more so next to guys like Harley Kiner, who had also taken a liking to her. If it had been up to Jonathan, he would have assigned her to a class at the elementary school. It was easy to picture her in a denim jumper with her hair tied back at the nape of her neck surrounded by kids who no doubt would brighten to see her each day.

Audrey still hadn't seen him as she moved to put what she had been writing into an envelope. She glanced at the clock. With her hair pulled back from her face, her eyes seemed immense. He never had seen eyes quite like hers before. They were neither blue nor gray, but somewhere in between- like the color of the sea in Maine before a storm. And they said more than she ever did. Like the sea, they could be placid and calm, but were often turbulent and churning as though there was a surging maelstrom beneath their color disturbing them so.

She was bound to notice him eventually and he decided to make his presence known before he got caught.

"So my place or yours?" Cory asked Shawn as they emptied their lockers.

"Yours," Shawn replied without hesitation. "Miss Andrew is coming over tomorrow so she and Jon can do teacher stuff. I don't wanna be there. Teacher stuff makes my head hurt."

"What you're saying is they're going to spend tomorrow thinking up new ways to torture us."

"Yeah, basically." Shawn slammed his locker door so hard it caused the rest of the lockers to shake. A thin notebook fell out of Cory's locker, hitting him on the head.

"Well, Mom and Dad are going to be home tomorrow," Cory said, flinging the notebook back onto the locker shelf. "But Eric's got a date so we can have the bathroom all to ourselves. Unless, of course, we can come up with something else to do that's not so mindless and dumb."

They looked at each other.

"That won't happen," Shawn said.

"I know."

The boys slung their bags onto their backs and headed down the hall.

"Wanna come over tonight, too?" Cory asked hopefully.

"Why? You have to babysit Morgan?"

Cory made a face. "Yeah. I don't know why my parents make me do it. You'd think they'd know by now that I can't be trusted."

"Parents," Shawn replied. "Who can figure 'em. Anyway, I can't. I've gotta do homework." He shuddered at the thought.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Cory remarked in a taunting tone. "You live with a teacher."

"So," he shot back. "You live next door to a principal. That's worse."

Cory stopped smiling. "Ug. You got me there."

A flustered Topanga rushed towards them suddenly, her long mane flying behind her like a banner. Cory held out his arms to her, but she raced by with a "Hi, Cory. Hi, Shawn. Bye, Cory. Bye, Shawn. Can't talk. Gotta study. Call you later, Cory."

She was gone in a flash while Cory stood there with his arm still open, and a grin plastered to his face feeling rather foolish.

"You know," Shawn commented. "I'd hate to see her on caffeine."

Cory slowly let his arms drop to his side. He looked at Shawn and blinked.

"What just happened?"

Mr. Feeny left his office at a determined gait when the last bell ended the school day. He was rounding a corner when he suddenly checked up. Mr. Turner was escorting Audrey out of their classroom. They stopped briefly outside the door. It was too noisy for him to hear what they were saying, but it appeared that Jonathan was asking her something. She smiled sweetly shaking her head "no". He asked something else. Her smile widened but she still shook her head. Jonathan nodded and they said, he assumed, good-bye. They parted ways, heading in opposite directions. With his bag on his shoulder and his helmet under one arm, Jonathan started out towards the faulty parking.

"Oh, Mr. Turner," Feeny pushed his way through the loitering students that stood between him and the English teacher. "Mr. Turner, may I have a word with you?"

Jonathan stopped in his tracks and took several slow steps backward. He looked over his shoulder with a look of apprehension before turning around.

"Come on, George," he said in a pleading tone. "It's never just a word. It's Friday, and I wanna go home."

"I wish to speak to you about Miss Andrews," Feeny said seriously.

Jonathan seemed surprised. "Is there a problem?"

"There might be." Feeny took him by the arm and pulled him to the side.

By this time, Jonathan was frowning and slightly worried. He tried to think of what kind of problem might involve Audrey, but he came up with nothing.

"I just want to remind you that Miss Andrews is a student teacher here," Feeny said meaningfully.

Jonathan looked baffled. "Yeah..." he said slowly, trying to figure out what George was trying to tell him.

"And that she hasn't yet graduated college..."

"Sooo...oh!" Jonathan suddenly got what Feeny was saying. He stared at the older man in disbelief.

"Come on, George," he said sounding offended. "Do you really think I'd consider dating her? She's just a little bit too young for me."

Feeny considered that. He rubbed his index finger and thumb together briskly. At the hurt look on the young teachers face, he lingered on the possibility that he had read too much into the situation. No, he decided, he didn't think he had.

"Yes," he replied drolly. "Keep that in mind."

The principal turned on his heel abruptly, leaving a confused Jonathan Turner behind.

Chapter Text

Saturday

"Whoa! Does this stuff stink!" Shawn exclaimed, waving his hand in front of his face. He wrinkled his nose in repulsion at the acrid-smelling concoction he and Cory had created. The bathroom was a mess- tubes and cap-less bottles lay all over the counter and floor.

"Yeah," Cory agreed, with an expression that mirrored his best friend's. "It smells like the chemistry lab after that Hopkins guy blew up a burner last year."

He leaned over the plastic container that held a foul-looking green sludge. "Yech!" he remarked as he stuck his finger into the goop.

"What's it feel like?" Shawn questioned, brushing his long bangs out of his face.

Cory pulled his finger out and held it in front of him.

"I dunno," he said, tipping his head to the side as he studied the slime oozing down his index finger. "It feels like...like..."

Suddenly, his eyes popped open, and his mouth lengthened in a silent cry of pain.

Shawn jumped up from his seat on the bathroom floor. "What is it! What's wrong!"

"F-f-f-fire! Fire!"

"What! Where?" Shawn spun around, looking for flames.

"Feels like fire!" Cory shrieked, jumping up and down, shaking his finger crazily. "It feels like fire! Get it off, Shawn! Get it off!"

The boys scrambled wildly around the small bathroom, bumping into each other and everything else.

"WaterwaterwaterWATER!" Cory frantically shook his head in the direction of the sink.

"Right!" Shawn turned the faucet on full blast, flooding Cory's green fingertip in a torrent of water.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Cory continued to writhe in pain.

Shawn blinked at him.

"The water, Shawn! You turned on the hot water!"

"Wha-? Oh, sorry. Sorry." Shawn quickly made amends by turning the faucet head to the right.

Relief washed over Cory's face as the burning sensation died away. Eventually, he took his finger out of the stream of water. He and Shawn inspected the abused finger, which was an angry shade of red.

"Ow..." Shawn moaned.

Cory stared at him. "Whadya mean 'ow'? It's my finger that was burned."

Shawn squinted at him and shrugged. "I feel your pain-"

The bathroom door flew open just then and slammed the wall with a forceful crash, making the boys involuntarily jump. Eric stood in the doorway, breathing heavily.

"Out," he huffed. "Now."

Cory forgot about his injured appendage. "Hey, it's my bathroom, too. You can't just barge in and tell us to leave. We were here first."

"Oh, yeah?" Eric smiled tightly at them.

"Yeah," Shawn and Cory replied in unison.

"I see." He stepped a ways into the bathroom. "Okay, let me put it this way: I have a date in two hours..." He put an arm around Cory and the other around Shawn. "And I have a huge zit on my forehead. NOW GET OUT!"

Cory and Shawn found themselves standing in the bedroom with a locked bathroom door behind them. Cory's shoulders drooped and he sighed. Shawn looked confused.

"Great," Cory flopped down on his bed. "Now what?"

Shawn looked at him. "Lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling?"

"We did that last week."

"Oh, yeah." Shawn sat cross-legged on Eric's bed. "Now what?"

In the bathroom, Eric was in a panic. There was no way he could let Amanda see him like this, and yet there was no way he could break their date. He had worked for over a month to get her to go out with him; he may never get another chance with her. He rummaged through the shelves of the medicine cabinet, looking for something that promised fast results. Coming up empty, he scoured the bathroom, looking for anything that might work. His eyes fell on a plastic container filled with a green goop. "Acne-fighting facial wash," the label read. Eric frowned. It couldn't hurt to try it.

He picked the container up and dipped his fingers into it.

"Whoa! Does that reek!" he exclaimed aloud. He cringed at the odor, but glopped it on his face anyway.

Outside, the boys were still sitting on the beds. Their laborious task of staring into space was rudely interrupted by a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom.

"So, little girl, what part of New York are you from?" Jonathan smiled at the face Audrey made at his nickname for her.

"The Village," Audrey tapped her pencil against her nose and absently flipped through her folders. She sat at the kitchen table which was stacked high with books and papers, most of them hers.

"Really? What street?"

"Sullivan," she replied with a raised eyebrow, wondering what it mattered to someone from Philadelphia. "You know Manhattan?"

"Do I know Manhattan?" he scoffed, handing her some papers. "I was only born and raised there."

He looked up and winked at her. "Few blocks over from you on Waverly. Spent all my spare time in Washington Square when I was a kid."

"No kiddin'?" A broad smile broke over Audrey's face. She instantly felt less lonely just knowing that she was in the company of a fellow Manhattanite. "How come you never said you were from New York?"

Jonathan shrugged. "It never came up. You haven't exactly been the world's biggest conversationalist this week, ya know."

Audrey laughed lightly. "Guess I haven't," she admitted, tucking a lock of silken fire behind her ear. Her voice had lost its proper, almost British- sounding tone; the New Yorker in her was no longer inhibited.

He gave her a mischievous grin. "What's another name for New York?"

It took her a moment to realize what he was asking and when she did she merely shook her head, not about to take the bait.

"The Big Apple," she returned saucily, pretending to be immersed in her notes.

"Come on," he urged with a pleading look. "Lemme hear ya say it. No one around here says it right."

Audrey teased him by hesitating before she obliged. "Long GuyLen," she drawled. "A 'nother name for New Yawk."

Jonathan grinned.

"My aunt, Ruth, lived on St. Mark's Place when it was the main drag for the hippies. What's the Village like now?" he asked taking a seat across from her. It was incredibly nice to hear the familiar accent from someone other than himself. "Been awhile since I've been there."

Audrey crinkled her nose. "It's kinda over run by college kids from NYU now. In fact, almost everyone who lives there is associated with the University somehow."

"You say that with some annoyance sounds like."

She shrugged. "I liked the Bohemian vibe it used have. You know, when all the musicians and artists and writers used hang there. When it was really unique. Now it's just like the rest of the City."

Jonathan nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, it was no big thing to see guys like Bob Dylan and Simon and Garfunkel at the local folk clubs." He faltered slightly when he realized that Audrey was probably too young to know who they were. "Listen to that," he said shaking his head, trying to make a joke out of it. "Does that show my age or what? You've never heard of 'em, have you?"

"Are you kiddin'! Of course, I have. You don't grow up in the Village and not know who they are! In fact, my dad worked at one of the clubs on Bleeker Street that Dylan used to frequent; he'd always have these great stories about Mr. Dylan comin' in and playin' the joint."

Audrey folded her long legs underneath her. "Whadya miss the most 'bout home?"

Jonathan thought about that for a moment. "Pie," he said finally without explaining what he meant by "pie". "Nothin' can come close to..."

"John's Pizzeria!" she said with him, giggling. He laughed.

"Absolutely. Best pizza in the world, I say."

They grew silent, each thinking about home. Sudden waves of homesickness hit Audrey.

"How'd you end up teaching and here?" she asked, fidgeting with her pencil.

Jonathan looked at her intently, debating on how much to tell her. "I was a serious screw-up as a kid- got into a lot of trouble. I had this teacher who managed to get through to me somehow, so..." he took a deep breath. "I decided to get serious about school, went to college- NYU, in fact- and became a teacher. I served my internship in Jersey and got a job out here last year."

"So your teacher- you followed in his footsteps?"

"Her footsteps," he corrected gently, smiling in reminiscence. "Yeah, she never gave up on me. Should have, though, she really should have."

"That's why you're doin' what you're doin' for Shawn, huh?"

Jonathan met her tranquil gaze, surprised that she had made the connection. They hadn't talked about the situation with Shawn; he had only mentioned that the boy was staying with him until his parents came back. He nodded in confirmation of her assessment.

"George doesn't understand why I'm doin' this," he said. "But I know that if it hadn't been for Mrs. Danvers, I'd be elsewhere right now and very bad off." He sighed and leaned against the table. "I see a lot of myself in Shawn when I was his age. I don't want him to go through all the junk I through. I want things to be better for him."

He stared into the distance with a morose expression. Audrey reached across the table and rested her hand on top of his.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!"

Cory and Shawn thundered down the stairs, into the living room, and through the kitchen past a very surprised Allan Matthews. Eric followed just seconds behind them, a thin green ooze clung to his reddened face. He raced past his dad, jarring the cup of coffee that Allan held. The beverage splashed out of its container and splattered his tie.

The screaming and house-shaking brought Amy Matthews out of her bedroom. She found her husband standing dumb-founded in their living room. Her daughter sat calmly on the couch brushing her doll's flaxen hair.

"What is going on?" Amy looked from Alan, who just shook his head and muttered incoherently about his tie, to Morgan.

"Eric is going to kill Cory and Shawn," she sweetly told her mother.

"And why is he going to do that?"

Morgan shrugged and resumed styling her doll's hair.

The boys streaked through the living room again and this time Eric was quite a ways behind them, the pain he was experiencing was slowing him down. Morgan looked at him, made a face, and left.

Amy blocked her oldest son's way to the kitchen.

"What's going on, Eric?"

"Nothing." Eric swiped at his inflamed face with his shirt sleeve. "I'm just going to hang Cory and Shawn."

Amy gave him a reproachful look.

"I mean hang OUT with them," he said with a plastic smile.

"Sure you are," Amy guided him over to the couch. "What is this stuff on your face?" She pulled back from him slightly. "And why do you smell like that?"

Eric laughed callously. "This?" he pointed to his face. "Well, you know I have this big date today, right?"

"With Amanda, yes..." Amy regarded him through narrowed eyed, suspicious of where this was going.

"And you know how I woke up with this little, um, shall we say, facial irritation this morning?"

"The barely visible pimple you were concerned about. Yes..."

"Yeah, well, I went to put some medication on it and," his voice began to rise, "Cory and his stupid friend turned my whole head into A BURNING ERUPTION!"

"Eric!" Amy pushed him back down onto the couch. "Calm down and stay put."

She walked over to the bottom of the steps and peered up.

"Cory! Shawn!" she called in a neutral tone. "May I see you, please?"

A few moments later, the two culprits slinked down the steps.

"Yes?" Cory gave his mom a charming grin. Shawn hid behind him.

"Care to explain what your brother put on his face?"

Cory's grin froze on his face. "Well, it's a very funny story, actually..."

Amy folded her arms across her chest. "Make me laugh," she challenged.

"Well," Cory sensed Shawn trying to creep away, so he reached behind his back and grabbed his friend's shirttail. "Ya see we were kinda bored and thought, hey, let's mix a bunch of stuff from the bathroom together and see what we get...ha ha ha... and well, we kinda got this stuff that smells real bad and burns like crazy... see..."

He held his finger up, hoping to garner some sympathy from his mother. She wasn't impressed.

"Why did Eric put it on his face?"

"That-that's the funny part," he stammered. "See, we kinda, sorta used Eric's almost empty face wash jar to mix all the stuff together in and, I guess, that's why he used it?"

"You just ended that whole thing in a question," Shawn observed in a whisper.

"Huh?" Cory's features were marred in confusion. Apparently, his best friend had been living with their English teacher for too long. "Look, if you're not going to say anything helpful, don't say anything at all."

"Cory?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"I'm not laughing."

"No, no." His face fell. Cory knew fully well that he was in big trouble and that his mom would most likely call Mr. Turner and tell him about the whole thing and Shawn would be in trouble too. "You're not laughing."

"Maybe you don't have much of a sense of humor, Mrs. Matthews, and that's why you're not laughing," Shawn offered.

Amy arched her eyebrows and gave him a warning look.

"Okay," Shawn's face reddened in embarrassment. "I'm not going to say anything else."

Amy was about to further reprimand the boys when another scream was heard from upstairs.

"Mom!" Morgan ran into the living room with her hands over her ears. "Make Eric stop yelling!"

Jonathan couldn't believe it was noon already; the morning had flown by and he and Audrey had accomplished nothing on their agenda.

"Wow," he remarked, pushing his chair back from the counter. "Look at the time. Ya wanna go grab something to eat? There's no John's Pizzeria 'round here, but Chubbie's ain't too bad."

Internally, Audrey cringed at the mention of food. Externally, she smiled.

"Why don't I make lunch?"

"You don't have to do that," he said, though a homecooked meal did sound good. He didn't do any cooking outside of sticking a frozen meal into the microwave and Katherine wasn't exactly a domestic goddess. "Besides, I don't think there's much of anything to make lunch with."

"Oh, I can find something," Audrey said, already investigating the food supplies. "And I don't mind at all. I like to cook. Mum taught me how to take nothin' and make somethin'."

"Mum?" he repeated with amusement.

Audrey gave him a sheepish look and blew her bangs out of her face. "My mother was born in Walton-on-the-Thames in England," she explained, taking some miscellaneous items out of the cabinet. "She lived in London all her life or at least until she met my dad. I guess I've picked up some British habits and sayings from her."

"What's she like?" Jonathan watched with amazement as the redhead easily found her way around the kitchen.

"Hmm..." Audrey said in response. "Incredible. Her name was Elizabeth Julia Wells. Everyone called her Lizzy. She was beautiful. She had bright blue eyes- almost electric blue- flawless peaches'n'cream complexion, and red hair, which she kept short. She was fabulous'."

She paused and a sad, distant look descended over her eyes. "She met my dad while she was in New York on a visit. They married a few months later and had me the following spring. Mum taught English at the high school my dad had graduated from. Then she got sick. She died when I was thirteen."

Jonathan sucked in his breath; he hadn't expected that news. "Hey, wow, I'm sorry..." he faltered, unsure of what to say.

Audrey smiled. "It was a long time ago," she said. She straightened up and smiled. "Do you mind brunch instead of lunch?"

Jonathan shook his head. "Not at all."

While Audrey began cooking, he suddenly remembered Katherine and the plans they had had for lunch.

He reached for the phone and began to dial when he stopped abruptly, unable to recall the last two digits of her number. He gave up and opted for the speed dial number instead.

The phone rang several times before Katherine finally answered.

"Hey, Kat."

"Jonny, hey." She seemed surprised to hear from him. "I was just on my way over."

"Yeah, about that," he paused momentarily. "Look, things are taken longer than I planned and seems like it's goin' to take awhile still." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie. Still he was surprised that he neglected to mention a few minor details about the real reason for the date cancellation.

"Oh. Well, that's okay. Tomorrow maybe," Katherine didn't sound overly disappointed but she didn't sound too pleased either.

"Hey, you can still come over. It's-"

"No, really that's alright," she interrupted him.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. See you later, Jonny."

"Yeah, later." Jonathan hung up the phone with an inexplicably guilty feeling burdening his shoulders.

"Good grief, Eric!" Amy exclaimed as she ran into her sons' room. "What is it now?"

Eric was staring flabbergasted into the bathroom mirror. "Ita, um, it's goo- ...It's gone!"

Amy studied her son in confusion; she had no idea what he was talking about- she rarely did.

"What?"

"My face!" he cried, pushing his nose up against the glass.

Cory and Shawn stood behind Mrs. Matthews and exchanged looks.

"You're brother's a nutcase," Shawn pronounced in a hushed voice.

Cory gave him a "duh" look and peeked out from behind his mother. "Eric, your face is right where it's always been. It's your brain that's gone."

"Co-o-ory!" Amy said in a warning tone.

"No, you dork," Eric made a face at his younger brother. "The zit on my face! It's gone."

"Let me see." Amy stepped over to him and examined his forehead. His color was finally normal again and Amy could clearly see that he was right.

"Wow," she said, stepping back. "It really is gone."

She turned to the boys behind her. "No more mixing anything together, do you hear me?"

They nodded their understanding.

"Alright," she said, walking to the door. "No more. You wait until you take chemistry to do that."

"Yes, ma'am," Cory replied humbly and nudged Shawn.

"Yes, Mrs. Matthews," he said.

After Amy had left, Eric advanced on Cory and Shawn.

"Hey, guys," he grinned.

Cory gulped, and Shawn got ready to run; Eric grabbed them both by the shirt collar before they could bolt.

"I just want to say thank you. You little nothings are genius'. Now I don't have to call Amanda and tell her I died. Way to go. I owe you."

He let go of them and walked out of the room, whistling as he went.

Cory stared after him, then slowly turned to Shawn, a goofy grin spread over his face.

"Shawn, do you know what this means?"

"That your nutcase brother isn't going to kill us?" Shawn shook his shirt, trying to straighten his crooked collar.

"No, no. We're genius'!"

Shawn gave him a condescending look. "No, we're not. We're the guys who scored a collective twenty-four on one of Feeny's tests, remember?"

"It was a twenty-eight and that's not what I mean. What I mean is that we just created a product that will clear up pimples in a matter of minutes!" Cory's voice rose in excitement. "Do you know what that means?"

Shawn looked at him and blinked. Cory was unphased by his friend's apparent cluelessness.

"It means we're going to be rich, we're going to be famous, we're-"

"Going to be Genius Nothings!" Shawn cried, catching Cory's enthusiasm.

"Absolutely!"

It was nearly six when Shawn got back home. He and Cory had spent the rest of the afternoon planning how they were going to market and sell their "miracle soap". Eric's date had gone so well that he was more than happy to endorse their product- he didn't even mind that his and Cory's bedroom smelled like ammonia and had to be aired out. The two friends were thoroughly convinced that this was one of their best schemes ever and completely foolproof. Nothing could go wrong with this get-rich-quick plan.

Shawn opened the door to the apartment he shared with Jonathan and was met by a homey aroma of dinner cooking. He frowned and double-checked the number on the door to make sure he was at the right place. After all, Jon didn't do much cooking, and he didn't know if Miss Tompkins did; he usually ate with Cory when she was over. The number on the door showed that he was at the correct location, and he stepped cautiously inside the apartment and glanced around. Everything was as it had been when he left that morning. Jonathan was sitting at his desk, grading papers- nothing unusual except for the smell.

The kitchen was another matter, however. For one thing, it was in use. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he saw Audrey opening the oven door. It was a scene that he had seen before at the Matthews', but had never truly experienced firsthand.

Jonathan glanced up. "Hey," he said in greeting before returning to his work.

"Hey," he returned, walking over to the kitchen table and leaning against it. So this is what Cory goes home to every night.

Audrey turned around, and her face lit up when she saw him.

"Hey, Shawn." She took off her oven mitt. "I'm so glad you're here."

Shawn looked at her in puzzlement. "You are?"

"Absolutely. I hope you haven't eaten yet."

"Nah, no." He ran a hand through his hair as a funny feeling settled in his stomach. "Smells great."

The feeling stayed with him throughout dinner as the three of them talked and laughed. Jonathan helped Audrey clear the table after the meal, and Shawn watched them. Everything was surreal, as though he were dreaming. The adults weren't yelling and fighting, as was so often the case at home before his mom left. He didn't feel like a guest like he did at the Matthews', as great as they were and all. And he didn't feel like an intruder like he did when Miss Tompkins was over. He felt...content...for once in his life. It was a strange feeling-one he couldn't quite put into words- but it was nice.

Cory's so lucky to have this feeling all the time

Shawn settled himself on the couch and flipped on the TV while Jonathan cleared his desk and Audrey picked up her things and jacket.

"Hey, Miss Andrews," Shawn said suddenly, afraid that if she left so would the contentment he felt. "Could you stay and maybe watch some TV?" He cast a glance in Jonathan's direction, wondering if he was stepping out of bounds with the invitation.

"I should get going," Audrey looked from Shawn to Jonathan and back again. "I don't want to wear out my welcome."

"Come 'on," Jonathan said, silently thanking Shawn for asking her to stay. "It's still early."

Audrey hesitated a moment, then set her things back down. "What the heck," she shrugged as she and Jon joined Shawn on the couch.

It was around ten-thirty when Shawn drifted off to sleep. Audrey gently cradled his head as she moved it from her shoulder to the couch pillow. Jonathan took the afghan off the back of the couch and tucked it around the boy's shoulders.

"I've never seen him look so peaceful," Jonathan murmured.

Audrey zipped her jacket up and stood by his side. After a moment, she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You're doin' a good thing here, Jon," she said quietly.

He looked at her with a small smile. "Thanks," he returned. "I needed to hear that."

She gathered her belongings and slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Hey," Jonathan called softly, just as her hand was on the doorknob.

Audrey paused and looked back at him.

"You finally called me Jon."

She smiled and slipped out the door.

Chapter Text

"I'm tellin' ya, Shawn," Cory said excitedly as he spread a white, rocket ship-printed sheet over a small card table, "This is goin' ta be big! We're going to be famous."

"I dunno." Shawn looked apprehensive as he let a large cardboard box drop onto the table that shook under the force. "I mean, are we really going to get customers with Eric promoting our stuff?"

At that moment, there was commotion in the hall that was filled with students making their way to the cafeteria. At the center of the ruckus was, none other than Cory's brother, Eric, swaggering proudly and wearing a pair Ray Ban rip-offs. He waved at everyone he passed and flashed them a cheesy, meg-watt grin.

Cory's jaw dropped when he saw Eric and Shawn simply shook his head.

"Speak of the devil," Shawn muttered under his breath and proceeded to unpack his box.

"Yeah, well, I don't think we have a choice now," Cory replied, dumbstruck by his brother's arrogance. He wondered if asking Eric to get involved was such a good idea after all.

Eric took his time reaching Cory and Shawn. He acknowledged them with a nod of his head.

"Knock it off, Eric," Cory said pulling the sunglasses off of his brother's face.

"Hey!" Eric cried in protest, drawing the attention of a few students. "Give me those!"

The brothers tussled briefly before Eric snatched the glasses from Cory. With an offended shrug of his shoulders, he returned the shades to their place on his face.

"Oh, fine," Cory huffed. "Be that way."

While Eric settled down nearby, Shawn stood back and admired his handiwork. He had stacked the small jars that contained their product into a tidy pyramid.

"Nice job," Cory nodded in admiration. Shawn smiled in satisfaction.

"That means there's just one thing left..." Cory pulled a large cardboard canvas from underneath the table and set it up in front of the display of jars.

On the board, in bold green block print, was written:

HAVE A BIG DATE?

IS YOUR FACE SCARIER THAN FREDDY KRUEGER'S?

CORY AND SHAWN'S MIRACLE SOAP

WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR FACIAL WOES.

GUARANTEED TO WORK OR YOUR MONEY BACK

$5 A JAR

TRY IT TODAY

ENDORSED BY ERIC MATTHEWS- SENIOR

"Well," Shawn said, clapping his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Looks like we're open for business."

"Yep," Cory agreed, as they admired what they had done. "There's only one thing that can stop us now."

The boys looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"Feeny!"

"I just can't believe this," Jonathan exclaimed as he and Audrey wove their way through the mass of students.

"What?" Audrey tossed a long lock of hair over her shoulder.

"That you can walk the streets of New York, alone, after dark, and yet be afraid to eat in the cafeteria."

"I am not afraid to eat in the cafeteria," Audrey scowled. "I'm just uncomfortable around a bunch of people I don't know."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You lie," he accused, with underlying amusement. "If you grew up in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa, then I might believe that."

Audrey gave him a funny look. "A cornfield in Iowa?"

"Don't change the subject," he returned.

"Look," she said pointedly, "I'm going with you to the cafeteria now, aren't I? Huh?"

Audrey wasn't as put out as she sounded and Jonathan knew it. He shook his head and chuckled.

The duo continued through the crowd and Audrey stopped abruptly.

"What are they doing?" She pointed to Cory and Shawn at a table apparently selling something.

Jonathan frowned, then took her arm. "Trust me- it's better not to know."

Audrey let herself be lead away. With so many students more interested in Cory and Shawn's curios than lunch, the cafeteria was sparsely populated, and the teachers were taking full advantage of it. Jon pulled out a chair for her at a table that several other faculty members had claimed already.

"Hey, girl," Andrea Nguyen smiled brightly at the student teacher. The art teacher was only four years older than Audrey, and they got along right away. Andrea was from a big city herself- Los Angeles- and took a position in the art department at John Adams High when her husband decided he wanted to move back to his hometown. It was her first year at the high school, and she fully empathized with Audrey's sense of being misplaced and her homesickness.

"Hey, yourself," Audrey returned, greatly relieved to have someone else she was comfortable with to socialize with; it meant she wouldn't have to use Jon as a crutch so much.

"Look at that. The redhead really can talk!" Eli joined the group, placing several large pizza boxes in the center of the table.

Audrey flashed him a grin, but paled as she caught the scent of the hot food. Jon slid another chair over to the table for Eli, then took his place next to Audrey.

"Hey," Andrea whispered. "You okay?"

Audrey gave her a tight smile. "My stomach hasn't been feeling too well lately."

Andrea gave her a sympathetic look. "Looks like you picked the wrong day to join us," she winked.

Slowly, the cafeteria began to fill with students. Audrey watched them as she picked at her salad. The greasy fumes of the pizza were making her feel sick. Thankfully, no one was paying much attention to her aside from the mandatory polite questions asked of her by the others and Jon's bragging on her progress in class. She tentatively speared a tomato with her fork and was contemplating eating it when a piece of conversation between Eli and Jon caught her attention.

"Katherine didn't come to lunch today?"

Jon stopped eating and looked at him. He looked around the table and shrugged. "Guess not."

"Uh-oh," Eli teased. "Is there trouble in paradise?" His glance slid over to Audrey.

"Why? She say something?"

"I was just wondering. Especially since you seem awfully caught up in your pet project and didn't notice that she wasn't here."

Jon shifted uncomfortably, he was not sure if he wanted to acknowledge Eli's cryptic insinuation.

"Analyze someone else's love life, will ya?"

Eli laughed. "All right, man. I can take a hint." He looked at Audrey and winked.

The room suddenly became too hot for Audrey. She bowed her head so that her hair swung forward, providing her with a screen to hide behind. Before long, she heard Eli call her name.

"That's all you brought for lunch?" He motioned to her meager salad bowl.

Audrey regarded him with wide eyes. "Um...yes."

Eli shook his head good-naturedly. "No wonder you're so pale, girl. You need some meat on your bones." He slid one of the pizza boxes over to her. "Eat all you can."

Involuntarily, Audrey moved back from the box. "N-no thank you."

Eli wasn't about to let her get off easily. "Come on, Audrey," he cajoled. "You can't tell me that you don't like pizza. Or that you're full. You've hardly touched that salad- not that I blame you for not wanting that rabbit food."

Audrey shook her head again. By now, she was the focus of the table as some of the other teachers attempted to persuade her to eat.

"If she doesn't want to eat, she doesn't want to," Jon told Eli. "Leave her alone. It's just pizza."

Eli shrugged and went back to his own eating, but the others continued to pressure the girl.

Jon watched quietly as Audrey finally caved to their desire. She reached for the box hesitantly, and Jon noted that she was careful to touch as little of it as possible. He saw her hand tremble as she lifted the pizza slice away from its container and her eyes close as she took a bite, as though she were ingesting something terrible.

As soon as Audrey had put her hand on the box, the focus shifted from her once more. Hidden behind the veil of her hair, she stared at the food that she had set down on a napkin. Beads of sweat formed on her temples and above her lips. She felt sick. She glanced up at the people around her, all engaged in their own conversations. If she was quiet, no one would notice her leaving.

Jon knew something was wrong from Audrey's initial reaction to the mention of food. He let her leave the cafeteria completely before excusing himself and going after her. Unfortunately, she was already out of the hall before he got there. He reasoned that she probably went to bathroom- not exactly a place where he could follow her. However, he had a feeling that she wouldn't go back to the cafeteria. Glancing at his watch, he saw that lunch was nearly over and decided to wait for her in the classroom; he wanted to talk to her before the next period.

Jon pulled out his keys to unlock the door of the classroom, but to his surprise, it was already open.

"Audrey?"

The response he received was the sound of metal scraping over the tile floor and heavy breathing. Jon closed the door solidly behind him.

In the corner of the room, with her back to him, Audrey was crouched down over the trashcan.

"Aw, Audrey!" he exclaimed, rushing over to her. She was shaking violently and whimpering in pain.

Not quite sure what to do, Jon kneeled beside her and put his hand on her back. She continued to wretch over the trashcan, but only dry heaves were left. With one hand, he gently drew her hair back from her face to keep it out of the trash. Tears were streaming down her face, and her hands tightly gripped the metal sides of the receptacle. She felt Jon beside her, asking if there was anything he could do for her. She felt his hand let go of her hair and slide over her shoulders. Too tired to resist, she let him hold her as she sobbed all the more.

"Remember, if it doesn't work tonight, you get your money back tomorrow," Cory told the last customer of the day, with a large grin and a wink. "Thank you and come again."

"Check this out, Cory," Shawn said eagerly, thumbing through a wad of bills. "We made a hundred and twenty-five bucks! We're millionaires!"

"Cool!" Cory took the wad of cash that Shawn handed him.

"I'll take that," Eric told them as he tried to snatch the money from his brother.

"Hey!" Cory exclaimed indignantly. "Whaddya think you're doing?"

"I'm taking my endorsement fees."

"You're taking half of our profits."

"My endorsement fees are fifty percent of the earnings, brother of mine." Eric explained coolly.

"That's not fair," Shawn chimed in. "You didn't even do anything. We came up with stuff."

"Yeah," Cory echoed. "You don't get half of the money because you didn't do half of the work."

"I did the most work," Eric argued. "I was celebrity endorser. If it weren't for me, no one would have looked twice at your little stand of goop."

"Oh, yeah?" Cory challenged as he climbed in the folding chair in order to look down on his brother. "Any senior could have done what you did and got us business. We don't need you." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared Eric down. "Tyler Brody would have promoted us for thirty percent profit." This last statement wasn't exactly true; Cory had never actually spoken to Tyler before, though Tyler had once told Cory to get out of his way.

Eric clearly didn't like the idea that he could be replaced. "You can't do that! I'm family. Forty percent and no less."

"Uh-huh, thirty."

"Forty."

"Thirty, or you get the boot."

"No way. Twenty percent, and that's final."

Cory stared at his brother for a moment, wondering if he had heard him right.

Did he really say twenty percent?

Shawn grabbed a pen out of Cory's shirt pocket and hastily scribbled something down on a sheet of torn notebook paper.

"All right, Eric," Cory conceded, stepping down off his perch. "You win. Twenty percent, it is."

"Ha," Eric replied. "Sucker."

"Yeah, I'm the sucker, alright," Cory muttered.

"Now if you'll just sign here, Eric," Shawn said, holding the sheet of paper out to him.

"What's this?"

"Just a contractual agreement about your profit from sales. You know, just so no one gets cheated." Shawn winked at Cory.

"Good idea, man," Eric took the pen from Shawn and signed his name.

The two best friends just grinned at each other.

After Shawn parted ways with Cory at the end of the school day, he made his way back to his homeroom. Audrey was still there, erasing the chalkboard.

"Hey, Miss Andrews," he greeted her. "I didn't think you'd still be here."

"Yeah, I had a few things to finish. I'm just about ready to go."

"Jon said you weren't feeling too good at lunch." Shawn let his book bag slide onto an empty desk. "You okay?"

"Feeling very well," she corrected him gently. "I'm doing much better now, thank you."

"That's good." He swung his arms behind his back, not sure what to say next. "Need help with anything?"

"Nope, I think that's it." Audrey set the eraser on the chalk tray and clapped the dust off her hands. "Got a lot of homework tonight?"

"Are you kidding? All of it's from Feeny, too. I think he hates us and wants us to have no life."

"Somehow, I doubt that," she laughed. "And besides, it's not all from him. I do know that you've got a book report due for Mr. Turner on Thursday."

Shawn grimaced as he picked up his book bag again and followed her out of the classroom. "Hey, Miss Andrews, considering our relationship and all, you think maybe you could get me an extension?"

Audrey put her arm around his shoulders. "Buddy, I think I can arrange it so that your report is due on Thursday at the beginning of class... Just like everyone else."

"Aw, come on."

"Sorry," she shrugged. Audrey pulled a set of keys out of her purse and flipped the lights of the room off. She shut the door and locked the classroom up.

"You know, Miss Andrews," Shawn said as he shifted his book bag to his other shoulder. "If you weren't feeling good..." he paused and corrected himself. " Feeling too well, maybe you shouldn't be home alone. I'm mean, something could happen. Maybe you should come home with us."

Audrey smiled lightly. "That's a sweet invitation, Shawn, but I don't think so."

"Why not?" asked a voice behind them. "I think it's a good idea."

They turned around to see Jon walking up to them.

"Jon, I really don't think that's be-"

"Come on, Miss Andrews," Shawn was awfully close to begging. "We always have a good time. Please?"

"Yeah, Audrey," Jon said. "Come with us. We can get those papers graded and done with tonight."

"And you can cook dinner, too, " Shawn added.

Jonathan looked at him disapprovingly. "She's not your personal chef."

"I know," Shawn returned undeterred. "She just cooks better than either of us."

"Look," Jon ignored his charge and turned back to Audrey. "I don't want you to cook. We'll get takeout or something."

Audrey looked from Jon to Shawn and back again. Shawn gave her his best sad puppy-dog look. It was impossible to resist. She smiled and sighed.

"All right," she said. "I'll come on one condition... I get to cook."

Shawn dried the dinner dishes as Jonathan washed them while Audrey cleaned up the rest of the kitchen. Even though he still had his book report to work on after the dishes were done, Shawn didn't mind it so much with Audrey around. While he did his homework, Jon and Audrey would be doing their own schoolwork, and for some reason, it created such a relaxed atmosphere that Shawn almost enjoyed the work. Almost. When Audrey was with him and Jon, it was like being a part of a family and it helped cushion the hurt of his mom leaving and his dad taking off to find her without hearing much from him.

"Ya know, Jon, I've been thinkin'..."

"That can't be good," Jonathan teased him.

"You oughta adopt Audrey."

"Are you kiddin' me?"

"No, I'm serious. It'd be great. Every night could be like this."

Jon smiled. "You can't really adopt someone over the age of eighteen."

Shawn shrugged and buffed a glass to a gloss. He whistled as he finished the rest of the dishes.

Though adoption was ridiculous, Jonathan understood where the notion came from. Things were different with Audrey around, comfortable and pleasant. The change in Shawn was amazing; he was like another person. Not the sullen, angry boy he was when his parents left him. Still, the incident at lunch bothered him. There was something wrong with Audrey...something...he just wasn't sure what it was. She didn't eat much at dinner- she was still a bit queasy from earlier, so she said. At any rate, he was happy she had come over. Perhaps, more so than he should have been. He wasn't doing anything wrong, but if George Feeny ever found out, he could be in some boiling hot water.

Chapter Text

An ear-splitting scream shook the Matthews' house early Tuesday morning. Amy grimaced at the eternal shriek as she set a plate full of hot cakes down in the center of the kitchen table.

"Would it really be too much to ask for just one quiet morning?" Alan asked, pouring himself a second cup of coffee.

"Apparently so," Amy watched her youngest child thunder down the stairs. "Morgan, was that you screaming?"

"SWAMP THING IS IN THE BATHROOM!" she cried hysterically. "AND HE'S COMING TO GET ME!"

"Oh, sweetheart." Alan pulled Morgan into his lap and cradled her. "Swamp Thing isn't in the bathroom."

"Uh huh, he is, too. I saw him, Daddy!"

"Honey," Amy reached over to stroke Morgan's corn silk hair. "Swamp Thing was a good guy anyway, remember?"

"No, I don't," Morgan insisted, obviously shaken up by something. "I turned on the sink and he oozed out of it. He was all green and slimy."

"Sounds like two you-know-whos let her watch scary movies again," Alan said over his daughter's head.

Amy nodded in agreement. "And those you-know-whos are in trouble."

Eric was the first one downstairs.

"Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad." Eric grabbed for a pancake with no intention of sitting down. His mother smacked his hand away, pulled a chair out from the table, and pointed for him to sit.

"What's with the squirt?" Eric asked, nodding to Morgan, whose face was buried in her father's chest. He sat down and again reached for breakfast. Amy handed him a fork and plate.

"It seems your sister had a nightmare last night," Alan said, awkwardly juggling Morgan and his food.

"I did not!" was Morgan's fervent, but muffled, response. "It was real. It happened this morning!"

"Did you let your sister watch a horror film last night?"

"No!" Eric exclaimed. "Absolutely not. Come on, Dad, we watched a Green Acres marathon last night. Cory and I both went to bed before it was over. When would we have had the chance to have watched anything else?"

"Then explain why Morgan woke up screaming this morning?" Amy stuck a napkin between Eric and the shirt sleeve he was about to wipe his mouth on.

"That was her this morning? Man, kid's got some lungs!"

"Morning, wonderful parents of mine," Cory chirped, joining his family. "What's with the squirt?"

Morgan removed her face from her father's shirt long enough to say, "I am not a squirt!"

"Okay, sorree!" Cory reached for the pancakes only to be reprimanded by his mother, as Eric had.

"Sit down, use a plate and fork, and use a napkin, not a sleeve," Eric said through a mouthful of food.

"And don't talk with your mouth full," Amy finished.

"Yuck, Eric, you just spewed crumbs everywhere!" Cory cried, raising his arm in front of his face.

"That's not spewing. This is spewing!" Eric leaned over and showered his brother in pancake debris.

"Mom!" Cory shouted.

"Eric!"

"Daddy, Swamp Thing is going to eat me!"

With that, the Matthews' household erupted into a chaos that Mr. Feeny would have heard had he not already been on his way to school.

As Amy refereed her feuding sons, Alan appeased his daughter by inspecting the upstairs bathroom.

"He's in there, Daddy!" Morgan pointed fearfully at the sink from a safe distance outside of the bathroom.

"Come here, honey, and I'll show you that there's nothing to be afraid of."

"No!" Morgan refused to move.

Alan sighed and went in, making theatrical gestures as he inspected the bathroom so that Morgan could see him. There was nothing unusual about the room, except for a faint putrid odor.

"See, baby, there's nothing."

"Turn on the sink," Morgan demanded, backing up further across the hall.

With another sigh, Alan obliged and turned the facet on. Instead of water, a thin green sludge oozed out of it. It wasn't Swamp Thing, but it was something odd and did it ever stink.

"Oh, man," Alan muttered. "What is that stuff?"

"Amy!" he yelled. "Come here!"

"I told you it was Swamp Thing!" Morgan cried as she ran off to hide in her room.

"Oh, man. Oh, man. Shawn, this is the absolute best idea, we have ever had!"

Cory and Shawn's business had tripled from the day before. Those who had used their "miracle" goop were raving about the results and demanding more. The boys were only too happy to oblige.

"Yep," Shawn said, propping his feet up against the wall. "We have officially made it. We don't even need Eric anymore!"

"Yes, siree," Cory sighed happily, making change for yet another satisfied customer. "I need eight more jars of the stuff."

Shawn lifted the tablecloth and pulled a box out from underneath it. The smile on his face faded significantly. "Uh, Cory?"

"Yeah, what? Hurry up will ya? The people want their miracle goo!"

"Well, the people ain't getting it," Shawn swallowed. "Apparently we forgot one little detail."

Cory turned to face his friend. "What? Shawn? What did we forget?"

"That we might run out." He turned the box upside down and shook it.

"Oh, no." Cory slapped his forehead. "How could we not see that!"

Shawn had no answer to that. The crowd that was gathered around their table was becoming restless.

"Quick, what do we do?" Cory glanced over his shoulder nervously. There were some disgruntled looking seniors in the group.

"Tell 'em we've got to restock, then take the money and head for the border," Shawn suggested.

"You want to flee to Canada?"

"No, Mexico. Canada's, like, a long way off."

"Huh?" Cory was momentarily confused. "Never mind about leaving the country. We'll just close up early and tell everyone to come back tomorrow."

"Okay," Shawn agreed. "Yeah, that might work."

"Hey, kid!" An unhappy looking teenage boy leaned against the table towards Cory. "Where's the merchandise?"

Cory gulped and glanced at Shawn. "Well, Tyler...buddy. It seems that we've just run out. You'll have to come back tomorrow and get it."

"I already paid for the stuff," Tyler growled, leaning in even closer. "I want the stuff."

"Tyler, Tyler," Shawn said with a charismatic smile. "You understand that we're running an honest business here, and well, honestly, we've just run out of supplies and can't restock until tomorrow." He motioned for Cory to hand him the pad of notebook paper that was lying next to the empty cardboard box. "We'll just give you this signed I.O.U., and tomorrow you can give this to us, and we'll give you what you ordered along with a free jar. How's that?"

The senior eyed the sheet of paper that had been handed to him. After a moment, he shrugged. "All right."

"Whew!" Shawn let out a sigh of relief as Tyler departed through the crowd.

"Way to dodge that bullet," Cory commended his friend with a clap on the back.

"Thank you, thank you," Shawn responded. "No encore, please."

"You said it." Cory and Shawn announced to the rest of the crowd their predicament with a promise of new goop the next day.

"Oh, Mr. Turner." George Feeny hurried to catch up with the English Lit teacher. He had the distinct impression that the young man had been avoiding him lately. "Jonathan."

Jon stopped with his hand on the door to his classroom. "Yes, George?" There was an apprehensive edge in his voice. He was less than happy to see the principal it seemed that his supervisor was always haranguing him about one thing or another where Audrey was concerned. Though was no way Feeny could possibly know about the amount of time that Audrey was spending over at his apartment with him and Shawn, George had the irritating way of knowing just such things anyway. Internally, Jon cringed and braced himself for whatever was about to come.

"I just wanted to remind you about the faculty meeting this afternoon," Feeny answered cheerfully, unaware of the other teacher's worries. He paused a beat then held up his hands in a defensive manner. "And please, spare me the sarcasm this year."

Relief washed over Jon. "Me? Sarcastic?" he quipped, his good mood returning. "Never!"

"Right," The principal turned to go back to his office. "I'll see you there."

Suddenly, he remembered the reason for delivering the personal reminder to Jonathan. "Oh, and bring Miss Andrews with you." he added backing up a few paces.

"Why?"

Feeny gave the younger man a withering look. "So that she can experience the full range of teacher responsibilities by co-leading a club with you."

The English teacher grimaced.

"I thought we were supposed to encourage student teachers in their career choice," he responded. "Not scare 'em off with club duties."

"Just bring her, Mr. Turner." Feeny paused for a moment. "I'd ask you not to give her any preconceived notions about faculty meetings, but it wouldn't do any good, would it?"

Jonathan pretended to think about the comment. "Nah," he said finally, with a twinkle in his eye. "Not. really."

"I thought so. See you at four." With a small smile, Feeny turned on his heel and headed back to his office.

"I don't see what's so bad about heading a club, Jon," Audrey was saying as they headed to the teacher's lounge. "Sounds like fun actually."

"You poor child," Jonathan shook his head in mock pity. "You really are new to this teacher thing, aren't you?"

"Oh, stop it," Audrey wrinkled her nose. "It isn't that bad."

"How much you wanna bet," he asked seriously. "Fifty bucks says you'll be begging me to put you out of your misery within a month."

"I'll take that bet, mister," she smirked. "And raise you a trip back home."

"Home?" he grinned. "The City?"

"Uh, huh."

"You got yourself a deal. Be prepared to lose, my dear." Jon held the door to the lounge open for her.

"Darling," she drawled coyly, flipping her hair as she walked pass him. "I don't make bets if the odds aren't one hundred percent in my favor."

"Aren't we cocky," he commented appreciatively.

Most of the staff was already there when Jon and Audrey made their entrance. Mr. Feeny seemed mildly surprised to see them both in attendance.

Jonathan had just pulled up a chair for Audrey when he felt a hand slip around his arm.

"Hey, Jonny."

Jon turned halfway around. "Oh, hey, Kat." There didn't seem to be anything more he could say.

Katherine Tompkins waited for him say something further, and when he didn't, her attention turned to the redhead nearby. She looked back to Jon with an expectant look.

"Oh, yeah!" Jon turned abruptly nearly tripping on the seat he had retrieved for himself. "Kat, have you met Audrey?"

"Not officially, no," Katherine said smiling sweetly at the student teacher.

"Aud, this is Katherine Tompkins. She's teaches social studies here."

"Nice to meet you finally, Audrey," She said as the girl stood up to take her extended hand. "I've heard so much about you."

"Nice to meet you, too." Audrey liked the social studies teacher immediately. Unfortunately, she could not tell Katherine that she had heard anything at all about her.

Jonathan, caught between the two women, seemed awfully eager to extract himself from the center. "We'd better get seated. Looks like things are about to start."

Katherine retreated to the back of the room, as there was no room to sit with Jon.

"She seems nice," Audrey commented off-handedly as Mr. Feeny took his place at the front of the room.

"Uh, huh." Jon slid a little lower in his seat.

Though she a bit confused by his discomfort, Audrey shrugged to herself and tried to listen to what the principal was saying. The task was made difficult due to Jonathan's quiet running commentary on each club that was brought up.

When the ski club was mentioned, Audrey perked up. Jon shook his head.

"Had that last year," he explained. "No ski club. Bad."

"And we have a special trip designated this year for the sophomore class. A trip to New York City is planned for later this fall. Whoever takes this will have their hands more than full and will, therefore, not have to take on a club as well."

Jon's hand shot up immediately. "We can take that."

Feeny raised an eyebrow. Many thoughts went through his head. Was it really a good idea to let those two loose on the City...together? Of, course it made sense that they head the excursion, as both knew New York well. There was split second of indecision. Then he proceeded. "Yes, that will do quite well."

Jonathan grinned and Audrey was thrilled that things were working out so well. She would be able to return home, see her father, and be with Jon.

Whoops, she thought. Where did that last part come from?

"And of course we will need several chaperones to go on the trip as well," Feeny continued, carefully watching the duos reaction to his next statement. "Miss Tompkins, would you care to go along?"

Katherine looked over at Jonathan. He wasn't looking at her.

"Yes, Mr. Feeny. I think that would be fun."

Jonathan's grin faded slightly. Feeny took note of it.

"Good," he said, pushing his glasses further up on his nose.

The meeting wore on for a long while. Audrey couldn't wait to tell her father that she was going to be coming home soon. Jonathan sat silently besides her, lost in thought. She was disappointed that he didn't seem more excited.

"Everything all right?" she whispered. Her blue eyes shone with concerned.

"Sure," he said. "Hey, you coming over again tonight?"

Chapter Text

Alan Matthews shut the door firmly behind him. He held a rolled-up newspaper under one arm and a cup in his hand. In the few minutes that it had taken to walk to the street corner where the paperboy insisted on dropping the circular, he'd had a very interesting conversation with several of the neighbors. It seemed that "Swamp Thing" was launching an all-out invasion on the neighborhood.

Amy looked up when she heard her husband come into the kitchen. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Uh," Alan ran a hand through his sandy hair. "It seems that we aren't the only ones with a green sludge problem."

"Oh?" Amy looked concerned. They had been unable to use the showers due to the mess in the pipes.

"Yeah, Mr. Carson said that a nasty green goop was oozing out of their kitchen sink. It was coming out of Mrs. Steinberg's toilet."

Amy made a face. "How awful. Sounds like the same thing we're dealing with."

Alan nodded. "So it does."

"What on earth could have caused it?"

"Who knows? Carson said that he called Waste Management, and they're sending someone out to look at the sewer system."

"I hope they can clean up the mess," Amy commented, taking a jug of milk out of the refrigerator. "That stuff could make the kids sick."

Alan nodded in agreement.

"Kids!" Amy yelled up the stairs. "Breakfast!"

Cory was anxious about the new batch of goop that he and Shawn had concocted the night before. As it turned out, neither boy had been able remember exactly what had been put into the original batch. In a panic, they had mixed together whatever they could get their hands on. Their miracle goo was now more like a minty paste.

"It was sure nice of Janitor Bud to let us put those boxes in the janitor's closet," Shawn said, randomly pulling books out of his locker and putting them in his bag. "I don't think I could have gotten them into my locker."

"I hope this stuff works the same," Cory replied worriedly. "It doesn't look the same as before. Or smell the same."

"So, we'll just add 'new and improved' to the sign and call it good."

"What if it's bad?"

Shawn shrugged and took a brown paper bag out of his bag and stuck it on the top shelf of his locker.

"Since when do you bring lunch to school?" Cory jabbed at the bag.

"Since Audrey started making it," Shawn smiled coolly.

"What's this?" Cory's eyes lit up as he smelled some juicy gossip on the horizon. "You're on a first name basis now. Shawn? What haven't you been telling me?"

Shawn shrugged. "Nothing."

Cory just looked at him.

"I'm serious, Cory," he said, slamming the locker door. Cory involuntarily flinched, as something usually fell out of his locker and hit him when Shawn shut his door.

"But she's been over at Mr. Turner's a lot lately," Cory prodded. "Hasn't she?"

Shawn clamped his hands over his friend's mouth and looked about wildly, afraid that someone might have overheard. When he was satisfied that no one had been paying attention to them, Shawn answered him.

"Yeah, she has." He looked away briefly. "I think Jon really likes her."

"But isn't he seeing Miss Tompkins?"

Shawn shrugged again. "Yeah, but...I don't know, Cor. Things are different with Audrey around. I can't explain it. I think Jon feels the same way."

"Has he said something?" Cory was no longer interested in gossip. Jonathan Turner was one of the best teachers they ever had and one of the most caring, not to mention the coolest. Audrey had become a close second favorite teacher to Mr. Turner, and if the two were to, well...Cory wanted the best for both of them.

"Not in so many words," Shawn replied quietly. "I mean, he's never come out and said anything. But you should hear him, Cor. Audrey's all he talks about." He paused a beat. "How'd you know that she's been over a lot?"

Cory smiled. ''Cause she's all you talk about."

The boys walked in silence to their next class.

"It'd be kind of cool if they got together," Cory said thoughtfully.

Shawn looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It would be, wouldn't it?"

They walked a little further.

"Shawn?"

"Yeah, Cor?"

"What if our miracle goo is bad?"

"Finally!" Jon let out a breath of relief as the bell rang. He clapped his textbook shut and propped his feet up on his desk.

"What are you complaining about?" Audrey asked, leafing through a stack of papers she had collected before the class ended. A few stragglers handed her their papers before the room was completely empty of students. "You didn't do anything. I had the class."

"I know," he grinned. "But I gotta say, Aud, you're soundin' more and more like a teacher every day." He reached for a sheet of scrap paper and slowly began to crumple it up. "It was hard to keep from throwin' paper wads at you."

"Huh?" Audrey turned just as he launched the ball of paper at her. It hit her square on the nose.

"Hey!" she yelped as he laughed. "What if a student had seen you?" She retrieved the paper from the floor. "You'd be setting a lousy example."

"Ah, but no one saw!" Jon held his hands up to shield himself from the projectile that had been thrown back at him.

"Seriously, though," he said, picking up the paper wad once more and throwing it, this time, into the trash can. "You're doin' great. And so agreeable, too. Bein' the cooperatin' teacher wouldn't be so undesirable if all interns were like you."

"Well," Audrey smiled, returning to her paperwork. "I've got a pretty agreeable cooperating teacher."

Jon stood up and walked over to her.

"You feel up to tryin' the cafeteria again?" he asked. "No pizza this time. I promise."

Audrey's smile tightened, and her spine stiffened. She kept her eyes focused on the papers she was putting into her bag.

Jon noticed the change in her posture. He reached over and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Hey," he said, trying to get her to look at him. "It's okay if you don't want to."

"No, no." Audrey looked up suddenly. "It's fine. Really." She laughed nervously. "It's been two months. I can't stay holed up in here all year."

Jon let his hand drop from her shoulder. She was hiding something, he was sure of it. There was some reason why she had such an aversion to the cafeteria. But what was it?

"No," he said decidedly. "We'll eat in here."

Audrey looked at him in puzzlement. "We?"

Jon smiled in bemusement. "Yeah, we. You know, as in you and me."

"Okay." Audrey flushed, excited that it would just be the two of them. She figured it was as close to a date as she was likely to get with him.

Audrey was left alone while Jon went to get his food from the cafeteria. He had refused to let her fix him anything for lunch the night before, declaring that she was a guest, not a cook, and therefore didn't need to spend all her time in the kitchen. That was fine with her; she busied herself with cleaning around the apartment. Jon hadn't been too thrilled with that either. Shawn, however, had been very happy that Audrey had uncovered his bed from beneath a pile of clothes and other miscellaneous items.

Audrey went to retrieve her own lunch from the refrigerator in the faculty lounge. It was a brown paper bag that contained a small Caesar salad minus the Caesar dressing and a half of a pint of skim milk. She clutched it tightly as she went back to the classroom.

She was only a few yards away from the door when Eli intercepted her.

"Hey, Audrey," he said, lightly touching her arm. He looked upset.

"Hi, Eli," she returned with a concerned smile.

"Look, I just want to apologize for yesterday." Sheepishly, he dug his hands into his pockets. "Jon told me about you getting sick after the pizza thing."

Audrey relaxed. "I'm fine. It's okay, Eli," she said sincerely. "Really. No harm done." He looked so distressed and remorseful that it pained Audrey. She admired Eli and didn't want him to worry about her. Besides, yesterday wasn't his fault; there was no way he could have known what pizza would do to her. "Apology accepted."

Eli let out a held breath. "Great," he grinned, sounding relieved. "So you'll join us for lunch again?"

Audrey froze. What could she say? That if it wasn't for Jon, she would do no socializing during the lunch hour? How could she explain why that was? She couldn't; Audrey knew that much.

"Not today," she said, skirting around directly answering the question he asked. "Jon and I have some work to do." This wasn't actually true, nor was it a lie; she had no idea why Jon wanted to have lunch in the classroom. He had never joined her before so she assumed that this was school related.

A slow smile spread across Eli's face. His eyes danced in amusement. "Oh, I see," he said with a funny, cock-eyed smile. "Well, that's a whole 'nother thing, then. I'll see you later, Audrey."

Without waiting for her to respond, Eli walked away, passing Jon in the hall on his way to the cafeteria.

"Hey, man," he greeted his friend with a sly smile and jerked his head in the direction of the classroom. "Have a nice lunch."

"Okay," Jon mumbled to himself, dismissing Eli's curious behavior.

"What was that all about?" he asked Audrey.

The student teacher could only shrug.

Eli wrinkled his nose at the smell coming from his plate of Salisbury steak. Or at least he thought it was Salisbury steak. The school menu said "mystery meat", so he couldn't be sure.

He set his tray down by Katherine Tompkins, who had the wisdom to bring her lunch from home.

"What's wrong, Eli?" she asked in reference to the look of disgust on his face.

"Oh, nothing," he said poking tentatively at the so-called meat with a fork. "I've just lost my appetite, that's all."

"Is Jon coming?"

"Coming where?" Eli opted for the mashed potatoes instead of the steak.

"To lunch," she replied, trying to keep a casual tone to her voice.

"He's eating with Audrey. They have work or something to do, I think."

"Oh." Katherine wasn't very happy knowing that. Lately, Jon was always working with Audrey or so it seemed. Though she was sure it was only her imagination, Katherine was almost sure that she could smell Audrey's perfume when she was over at Jon's place.

"Hey, Eli." Katherine leaned her elbows against the table. "What do you know about Audrey?"

Eli put his fork down and thought for a moment. "Not a lot. I haven't been around her a whole lot. You'd have to ask J-" abruptly he caught himself before he said "You'd have to ask Jon." That probably wouldn't be the best thing to say. "You'd have to ask her, I guess." He smiled. "I know she's from New York City- the same area Jon's from. Mom's been gone since she was thirteen. I don't about her dad. Um, she was valedictorian of her class. Oh, and she was a ballet student at Julliard."

That caught Katherine's attention. "Really?"

Eli nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. She was a real prodigy, apparently. Didn't have to audition or anything. She was asked to attend after the department head saw her in some ballet while she was studying at the School of American Ballet."

"You're kidding." Katherine was incredulous. She had long been an avid ballet fan. In fact, years ago, she had been a dancer herself, with a dream of dancing for the American Ballet Company. Unfortunately, that dream never came to pass- she didn't have the feet. There was no room in a prestigious company for a flat-footed dancer. "How did she end up student teaching?"

"I don't know," Eli shrugged. "Something happened, and she left."

Katherine sat back in her seat as Eli became immersed in conversation with another colleague.

Unbelievable, she thought. She wondered what could have made Audrey leave Julliard. She didn't seem to have any family or medical problems that would have forced her out. Of course, Katherine didn't know that for sure. Or could it be that the girl just a spoiled brat who was used to everything being handed to her and, when she tired of Julliard, went onto something else?

What I wouldn't have given to have had an opportunity like she did, Katherine thought with a wave of regret. Nothing could have made me give it up.

Despite having no real interest in dance- he wouldn't be caught dead at a ballet- Jon was absolutely fascinated by the fact that Audrey was a ballet dancer.

"So you just gave it up," Jon said. "Just quit?"

Audrey neatly and methodically cut the lettuce of her salad into one-inch squares. "It wasn't that simple. Dancing was my life. I lived and breathed it. It's what I grew up doing. It felt like my legs had been cut off when I had to leave Julliard and ABC."

"Do you still dance any?"

Audrey nodded. "An hour and a half before school. Then three hours after, I get off work at Hannigan's."

"Man." Jon whistled low. "That's dedication." He shook his head in admiration, then said, "I didn't know you worked at Hannigan's."

"Yeah, well, I gotta pay bills someway."

"I guess so," Jon replied. "I go to Hannigan's all the time. You got the graveyard shift, I'm guessing."

"Yep," Audrey slowly closed her empty milk carton and set it neatly inside the paper bag. "I like it there. Waitressing's what I know. I used to work at the Bavarian Inn back home."

"I know the place," Jon nodded with a distant look in his eyes. "You didn't work the bar, did you?" He gave her a disapproving look. "I wouldn't want you to work the bar; some real weirdoes hang around there."

"No," Audrey pretended to be exasperated by his questioning. "I didn't work the bar. I was underage. I couldn't have if I had wanted to."

"Good," Jon said, putting Audrey's lunch bag on his tray to throw it away. "I would have had a problem with that."

Audrey laughed and shook her head. "And so what if I did? What could you have done about it? Huh?"

Jon grinned at her teasing. "Seriously, Aud, what made you leave Julliard?"

"Cory, I'm telling you to relax," Shawn said as the boys arrived at the Matthews' house. "There can't be that much difference in the stuff we used to make the new goo."

"Yeah, but Shawn, that new stuff wasn't the same as the old stuff, and you know it." Cory worriedly wiped his brow as he opened the back door with his free hand.

"Okay, so it didn't smell the same. That's not necessarily a bad thing. The original stuff really stunk bad."

"I'm telling you, this is going to explode in our faces."

"Why would you say that?" Shawn asked, dropping his book bag inside the door of the kitchen.

"Because when we first started this, I said that we'd be rich, famous. That we'd go from nobodies to somebodies. But I know something bad's going to happen because I'm absolutely wrong about everything. Do I have to remind you about the wrestling team incident."

Shawn cringed at the memory. "Yeah, you weren't exactly batting a thousand there."

"No, I wasn't." Cory opened the refrigerator door. "You want something?"

"Soda'd be great."

Cory grabbed a couple cans of Pepsi out of the back of the refrigerator and rifled through the cabinets for a snack.

"Hey, Cor," Shawn said as he sat down. Cory handed him a soda and dumped a package of Oreos into a bowl. "You think your folks would mind if I stayed for dinner?"

"Nah," Cory replied through an Oreo stuffed mouth. "I take it Miss Andrews isn't going to be over tonight."

Shawn made a face and reached for the bowl of cookies. "No, Jon's got a date with Miss Tompkins. I don't wanna be in the way."

"Too bad," Cory said. "I mean about Miss Andrews."

"I know what you meant."

"Hey," Cory turned around suddenly. "I wonder where everyone is? Mom hasn't yelled at us for eating junk food yet."

"Yeah," Shawn said. "That is odd."

The boys got up from the table, leaving a mess of cookie crumbs and soda drippings behind.

"MOM!" Cory shouted at the top of his lungs as they walked into the living room.

"I'm upstairs, Cory," came the response. "And don't yell. I'm on the phone."

As Cory and Shawn stomped up the stairs, they could hear Mrs. Matthews' end of the phone conversation.

"Yes, I know that, Alan. But we have a serious problem. That stuff is backing up the drains and the toilets. No, I don't want to pour anything down the drain- I don't know that that won't make it worse."

Cory and Shawn leaned into the doorway of the master bedroom. Amy waved to Shawn when she saw him. She rolled her eyes at something her husband was saying. She put one hand over the phone's mouthpiece.

"Staying for dinner, Shawn?"

"Yeah, if you don't care."

Amy gave him a thumbs up and returned to her conversation. "No, Alan, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to call a plumber. Yes. Yes, I love you, too. Goodbye."

"What's that all about?" Cory asked as his mother hung up the phone.

"Oh, we're having a problem with drains and sewers. Your father wanted me to try pouring Drain-o down the drains to try to clear them out. But we need a professional to fix this."

"What's wrong?" Shawn asked. Cory hadn't mentioned that there were any plumbing problems at his house.

'I'll have to show you."

The boys followed her to the master bath.

A thick, green goop was slowly dripping from the faucet.

"Whoa, does that smell!" Shawn waved his hand in front of his nose. Cory pinched his nostrils closed.

"I know. It's in all the sinks in the house and in the neighborhood. No one knows what it is," Amy explained.

"I don't think I want to know what it is!" Cory exclaimed.

"It looks and smells like that nasty stuff Cory whipped up last week." Eric had just arrived home from school and joined the three of them in the bathroom.

"What stuff?" Amy asked, eying her youngest son suspiciously.

"You know, Mom, that stuff that nearly burned my face off but cleared up my zit."

"You know," Amy paused thoughtfully. "Now that you mention it..."

Cory and Shawn exchanged looks. Neither one liked where the conversation was going. They pushed past Eric and hightailed it to Cory's room, slamming the door behind them.

Chapter Text

Early Thursday morning, Cory plodded down the stairs into his kitchen. He stared bleary-eyed at an open refrigerator as he struggled to wake up. His sleep the night before had been plagued with nightmares about the goop, and he hadn't slept well.

Pulling a bowl out of the cabinet near the sink and a large spoon from the drawer, Cory found the most sugar packed cereal in the house. As he dumped the contents of the box into his bowl, he silently prayed that Morgan hadn't picked through it already and taken the good stuff.

"Ah, Lucky Charms," he muttered. "Breakfast of champions."

"I think that would actually be Wheaties, sport." Alan finished tying his tie as he walked into the kitchen. "Why are you eating out of a mixing bowl?"

"Huh?" Cory stared at his dish. "Oh, I just grabbed it."

"Uh-huh. Looks like someone didn't sleep very well last night." Alan poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to his son.

"Green stuff," Cory murmured quietly. "Lots of green stuff everywhere." He looked up at his dad. "Morgan's Swamp Thing came after me in my dreams."

"I see," Alan said. "And Swamp Thing coming after you wouldn't have anything to do with a guilty conscience, would it?"

A plumber had come out to the Matthews' house late Wednesday night to check their pipes. The green goo blocking the drains was some sort of mixture of household products. The goo was heavy and slow moving; water wouldn't move it or through it. The longer it set in the pipes, the more it thickened, and it started to congeal. After talking with Amy, Alan had a feeling that Cory might know what was in the pipes and wanted to give him a chance to confess.

Cory frowned, his brows knit together in thought. "No." He paused. "Should it be?"

Alan sighed. "You tell me, kid."

Cory shook his head and shrugged.

"Cory, what did you do with that stuff you and Shawn made last weekend?"

"Ummm..." Cory gulped and stared at his bowl of cereal. What was he supposed to say? He didn't quite know what selling the goo had to do with the sink backing up, but he had a sinking feeling that his father would not approve of him selling it to his classmates. "Uh, I don't know?"

It was Alan's turn to shake his head. "Wrong answer."

"Okay, fine." Cory pushed his bowl away and flopped back against the chair. "After Eric had the stuff on his face and it cleared up his acne, we kinda canned what wasn't washed down the sink and sold it at school."

This wasn't quite what Alan was expecting. He had figured that the junk had been put down the drain instead of being properly disposed of, but selling it? "You did what!"

"Uh, sold it?" Cory could tell by the look on his dad's face that he was in big trouble.

Alan put his hands over his face and said nothing. After a moment, he ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He glanced at Cory.

"Why?"

Cory shrugged and kicked the leg of the table.

"I take it Shawn was in on this too, huh?" Alan was still trying to absorb what his son had just told him.

"Yeah."

"Go get ready for school," Alan sighed once more and picked up his coffee mug.

"That's it?" Cory wasn't sure if not having a verdict on punishment was good or bad.

"For now. But don't plan on doing anything or going anywhere after school. You come straight home."

"Yes, sir."

Cory got up from the table.

"And, Cor."

"Yes?"

"You might as well bring Shawn with you."

Cory shook his head as he trudged up the stairs. Could this day get any worse?

"For next Tuesday," Audrey walked in front of the class. "I want you to choose a passage from your favorite poem of Edgar Allan Poe's and illustrate it. Be prepared to talk about it during class."

Topanga's hand went up. A few students in the back of the class muttered to each other.

Audrey nodded to Topanga. "Yes, Miss Lawrence?"

"What medium do you want us to use for the project?"

"I want you to use your imagination." Audrey picked up an 11"x14" sheet of Bristol board from the desk. She held it in front of her so the class could see the graphite drawing on its front. The drawing was a detailed sketch of a terrified-looking old man with an odd-looking eye sitting in a darkened bedroom, clutching a corner of his blanket. A thin streak of light stretched across the four-poster bed to a mirror. The reflection in the mirror revealed that the bedroom door was cracked open and someone was watching the old man. Behind the man, reaching around the bed as if to strangle him, was a foreboding black shadow. "I did this during my freshman year in high school not too long ago. Does anyone know what poem this is from?"

Audrey handed the piece to Topanga and indicated that she should pass it around to the rest of the room when she was done looking at it.

A few people were still waiting to see the picture when Shawn's hand went up.

"Yes, Shawn?"

"It's from 'The Tell-Tale Heart', right?"

Audrey smiled. "I'm impressed. It is indeed. Anyone care to take a guess at the exact passage that it's from?"

The class, including Shawn and Cory, flipped through their lit book, looking for the passage.

Topanga's hand went up again. "I think it's '...and Death had stalked with his black shadow before him..." She looked up at Audrey. "Am I close?"

"You're dead on it," Audrey winked. "You can use whatever material you want to use on this project. Within reason. Don't go for the easiest, most obvious thing to do. Choose something different, find something hidden in those poems."

The bell rang over the finish of her instructions. "Remember, they're due on Tuesday!"

The class filtered out of the room, but Topanga pushed her way over to Audrey.

"Miss Andrews?" she said timidly.

Audrey turned around and smiled. "Whatcha need, Topanga?"

"Oh, nothing, really." She pushed her bangs out of her face. "I just wanted to say that I really enjoy it when you teach. And I hope you stay here and teach after your internship."

"Thanks, Topanga." Audrey squeezed the girl's shoulder. "That means a lot to me."

Topanga glanced over to the front corner of the room. She looked back at Audrey and grinned. "And I'm not just saying that so Mr. Feeny will give you a good review."

"I quite agree with you, Miss Lawrence," Feeny walked over to the two girls with a smile on his face. "I, too, hope that Miss Andrews will consider staying on here."

Audrey blushed. "Thank you, Mr. Feeny."

George nodded to her and walked Topanga out of the room.

"Hey," Jon leaned into the room after the principal had left. "Is it safe to come in yet?"

Audrey laughed and waved him in.

"How'd it go?"

Audrey wrinkled her nose. Mr. Feeny had been sitting in on the classroom that morning to view her progress. Jon hadn't been allowed to be in the room while the review was going on. "Pretty well, I think," she said, putting away her teaching materials. "I was so nervous, though."

"I'm sure you did fine," he smiled. Jon noticed the picture lying on the desk. He carefully picked it up and studied it.

"'Tell-Tale Heart'?" he asked.

Audrey nodded. "Yeah, freshman English project," she explained.

"Wow, that's good." He gave her a sidelong glance. "You got any more amazin' talents I don't know about?"

"That?" Audrey pointed to the picture. "That's not talent; that was an assignment." She grinned at him. "I thought about being an art major, but art isn't a very lucrative career. Of course, neither is dancing." She made a face. "What about you? Did you ever consider something other than teaching?"

Jon nodded. "Oh, yeah. For a long time, I wanted to be a pro hockey player."

Audrey raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Why didn't you?"

Jon laughed. "I dunno. It was a lot of things, I guess. I played in leagues throughout school, but somewhere along the way I decided I wanted to do something more worthwhile with my life. And that concussion I got at a junior league tryout didn't help."

"Wait," Audrey said. "I gotta ask. Rangers or Islanders?"

"Rangers, of course!"

"Good," Audrey smiled. "I'm a die-hard Rangers fan so if you had said Islanders, we might not have been able to work together anymore."

Jon rolled his eyes at her. "Sure," he said. His expression became serious. "Hey, Aud."

"Hmm?" She turned and sat next to him on the desk.

"You never told me why you left Julliard."

"Oh, Jon," she sighed. "Why do you want to know that? That was a long time ago."

"No, it wasn't," he said. "It was barely three years ago. What happened?"

The conversation was making Audrey extremely uncomfortable. She wished for nothing more than to be able to tell him- to tell him about the terrible year prior to her departure from the fine arts college, about her problem... But she couldn't. There was no way. He would think she was a terrible person; a weak, sick person. She was convinced that if he knew then he would want nothing to do with her. And she couldn't stand the thought of that.

"It's really not that important."

Jon shrugged. He seemed disappointed. "Okay," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Don't be upset," Audrey pleaded worriedly. "It's just-" Her face twisted as though she might cry. She wrung her hands in distress.

Jon slipped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm not upset," he assured her in a quiet voice. "I wish you felt like you could trust me enough to tell me what happened that was so terrible. But it's okay if you don't."

"Jon, it-"

Jon stopped her from saying more. "Say no more," he said with a smile. "Let's forget about it and go get something to eat."

He let go of her and retrieved his leather jacket from the chair of his desk. Audrey wasn't convinced that he wasn't at least hurt by her refusal to talk to him about Julliard. She vowed to herself to work up the courage to tell him...someday.

"I don't really want to go to the cafeteria today," she said, hesitantly, still worried that he was disappointed with her.

"Me neither," Jon said, handing her purse and jacket to her. "We don't have cafeteria duty today, so I thought we'd go out and get something. We can start planning the New York trip; it's going to be here before you know it."

He felt regretful that his questions about Julliard had upset her so much. It must be something serious for her not to tell him. She had been so open about most everything else; she was rather reluctant to discuss her father, but he could understand that. Parent-offspring relationships weren't always the best. Aside from that, he felt he knew her as well as he knew almost anyone. At least he thought he did. Pushing away his concerns and suspicions for the time being, he helped Audrey with her coat.

"You ever been to Poe Cottage?" he asked as they headed out of the room.

"Only every time my dad took me to the Bronx," she smiled, glad for the change of subject. "Poe's my all-time favorite author."

"Mine, too," Jon said, sensing a release of the earlier tension. "I love his works. I always thought it would've been cool to live in the house. You know, to see if his muse was still there."

"No kidding!" she exclaimed. "And here I thought I was the only one who wanted to do that! Did you go to that Poe discussion group at the library a few weeks back?"

"No, unfortunately. Kat didn't wanna go. She's not a Poe fanatic. Says he is too morbid and depressin'."

"Know what I feel like eating?" Audrey skipped a few steps ahead of him, feeling as light as a bird.

"What?"

"Pizza!" She smirked at him mischievously.

He stared at her. "Are you kiddin' me?"

Cory and Shawn didn't even have a chance to set up their table before kids swarmed them. They all had angry red faces. Literally.

The noise coming from the crowd was getting louder and Shawn was beginning to worry. Not about the reason for everyone's unrest, but that the melee would bring Feeny around to see what the commotion was about. He really didn't need to get in trouble right now.

"Hey!" An angry baritone boomed over the mob. Tyler, the senior, shoved his way to front. Menacingly, he lunged at the boys, stopped only by the card table they were standing behind.

"Well, Tyler, nice ta see ya," Cory smiled weakly. He knew that some had gone very wrong with their product. He was just praying that the rash on the hulking senior's face didn't have anything to do with it.

"Look at what your stupid soap did to my face!"

"Oh, no," Cory moaned. "Shawn! Do something."

Shawn wasn't too eager to get out from under the table. Cory was all but dragging him out from underneath it, and he hit his head on the edge as he stood up.

"Tyler!" Shawn said, unable to hide the nervousness in his voice. "Whoa, buddy. Check out the face."

"You think this is bad, Hunter?" Tyler leaned forward and growled.

"I'd say so," Shawn gulped.

"This is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to yours and Matthews'!"

"Tyler, you know, you really ought to see someone about managing that anger."

The senior was in no mood for wisecracking.

"Is everyone up here for the same reason?" Cory wondered aloud. It was a comment he probably should have keep to himself.

The crowd responded with one resounding roar.

"Shawn, you know how I told you that Mom and Dad think our soap is what caused the sewer to back up?"

"Yeah." Shawn started to back up as the mob advanced.

"And you know how they were going to call Mr. Turner and have a meeting tonight to punish us?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I have good news."

"What's that?"

"I don't think we're gonna live to get grounded."

Shawn looked at Cory with wide eyes. "Some people might think that's good news."

A shout came from the crowd to "get them" and someone yelled that they were going to tell Feeny.

"Shawn?"

"What, Cory?"

"I think now is a good time to flee to Mexico."

"Me, too."

With that, Cory and Shawn tipped over the card table to create a distraction and ran off down the hall as fast as they could.

After school, Cory and Shawn took their own sweet time walking home. The only thing worse than being punished was being punished at a group meeting.

"Why couldn't they just've talked to each other on the phone?" Cory needed to whine to a sympathetic ear and he had a feeling that Shawn was the only one who would pity him at the moment. "Is really necessary that my parents drag Mr. Turner all the way over here just to tell us we're grounded?"

Shawn shuffled his feet in the grass. "Man, this day could not get any-"

"Don't say it!" Cory frantically shoved a hand over his friend's mouth. Shawn looked at him in bewilderment. "The moment you say it," Cory told him. "Things get even...you know."

"What?" Shawn pulled Cory's hand off his mouth. "Worse? Com'n, Cor, the day really couldn't get much worse."

Cory threw his hands up in the air and looked towards the heavens. "Oh, there you said it! We are doomed."

"Cor, it's just your mom and dad and Jon. It's not like there's gonna be an audience or anything. At least Feeny won't be there."

"Don't count on it," Cory replied, opening the back door. "The man lives right over that fence."

Shawn shook his head as they entered the house. Amy was there to meet them. She didn't look happy.

"Go sit on the couch until Jonathan gets here. You two really took a risk by wasting so much time coming home."

Eager to get out from under Amy's frigid glare, Cory and Shawn slunk into the living room.

Before long, the front door bell rang, and Alan came down the stairs to get it, casting a glance at the boys.

"Hi, Jonathan," Alan greeted the English teacher grimly. "Sorry, to have to call you over under these circumstances."

Jon nodded. "Yeah, me, too."

"Oh, no," Shawn breathed, a look of horror on his face. "It can't be."

"What?" Cory wanted to know, craning his neck to see what was wrong.

"What's she doing here?"

Cory looked over his friend's shoulder and saw why he was so mortified.

Audrey was with Jon.

Cory paled. "Oh, boyee!"

"I'm really sorry," Alan was saying. "That you had to bring your girlfriend to this too." He smiled apologetically at Audrey.

Jon didn't seem to know how to respond to that, so Audrey stepped forward. "I'm not his girlfriend," she said, extending her hand. "I'm Audrey Andrews, the student teacher."

"Oh, of course!" Alan exclaimed as he recognized her name. "Cory's talked a lot about you. Please come in."

As they stepped into the living room, Jon shot Shawn a displeased look.

"Actually, I'm glad you're here, Audrey," Alan said, gesturing for them to have a seat. "Maybe the boys will be so embarrassed to get in trouble in front of you that they won't do something like this again."

Audrey gave Cory and Shawn a questioning look. The boys couldn't meet her gaze.

"Fat chance of that, Dad." Eric came through the kitchen door with a bowl of popcorn. Morgan trailed behind him. They plopped down in front of the coffee table, facing the culprits.

"No audience, huh?" Cory snapped at his friend, pointing to his brother and sister.

Shawn gave him a sheepish look. "At least Feeny isn't here."

The kitchen door swung open again. This time Amy came out and joined her husband by the couch. George Feeny followed her.

Shawn's jaw dropped, and Cory glared at his shoes.

"I know I'm wrong about absolutely everything," Cory grumbled to Shawn. "But you're not doing so hot today yourself."

"Why is he here?" Shawn was flabbergasted by their principal's attendance at their punishment meeting.

Feeny shot him a silencing look. "I'm here, Mr. Hunter, because it seems you and Mr. Matthews' have been peddling a sewage-blocking mixture to your peers as acne medication. How you do explain this one?"

"This is going to be good," Eric whispered to Morgan, who was stuffing popcorn into her cheeks.

"I'm a chipmunk!" she told him.

"Eric..." Alan gave his eldest child a Look. "Upstairs. Now. Take Morgan with you."

"Aw, man!" Eric huffily got up and took the popcorn bowl from his sister.

"But I wanna watch Cory and Shawn get in trouble," she protested as Eric led her away.

"Shhh," Eric put a finger to his lips. He and Morgan walked up to the landing and then quietly sat down, watching the proceedings from between the banisters.

"I believe Mr. Feeny asked you a question," Jon said pointedly to Shawn.

Shawn looked to Cory for help. "Well.." he began with a sinking feeling that the explanation wasn't going to be good enough. "See we got really bored last Saturday so we decided to...um, mix some stuff together in the bathroom. Eric came in and kicked us out before we were done and he sorta put the stuff on his face. It cleared up his zit, so we thought, hey it works why not sell it to help others in need."

"How charitable of you," Mr. Feeny remarked.

Shawn smiled, not realizing that the principal was being sarcastic. "Yeah, it was."

Feeny rolled his eyes.

"It was irresponsible, Mr. Hunter," he said severely. "Selling something to other people as a facial product when you had no idea what it was or what it might do. Do you realize how serious this is? What if someone who used it had been allergic to something in it?" He paused and covered his mouth briefly with his hand. "But I don't suppose you boys thought of that, now did you?"

"No, sir," Cory mumble, deeply embarrassed. It was true that they had never thought about the danger in what they were doing. How was it that something that sounded so good ended up so bad?

Shawn hung his head in shame. His cheeks flushed crimson. "We're sorry," he said sincerely. "It was stupid and we weren't thinking."

"No, you weren't," Jon agreed with him.

"Your mom told you to get rid of the stuff, correct?" Alan was addressing Cory. "But instead of throwing it away properly you rinsed some of it down the drain?"

"That's about it," Cory replied humbly.

"Okay," Amy said. "First part of the punishment. Cory, that stuff created quite a mess in both our house and the other houses on the block. So...any cleaning that has to be done due to the residue this junk left behind is to be done by you. Both at our house and any of the neighbors' houses that need it cleaned up."

"And you're going to help him," Jon added. "But not together."

"That's right," Alan said. "We think you two need to spend some time apart."

Cory slapped his hand to his forehead.

"But you said first part?" Shawn leaned forward and looked at Jon. "Does that mean there's a part two?"

Jon nodded. "George, care to tell them about part two?"

Feeny faced the boys with his arms folded across his chest. "First thing tomorrow you will bring me all the money from your little business venture and the notebook you kept on sales so that the profits can be redistributed to your customers. Then, for the next month, everyday after school for an hour and for three hours on Saturday, you both will be helping Janitor Bud clean the school building and grounds. Consider it as community service."

The boys groaned.

"I think that's about it, don't you, Alan?" Amy looked at her husband.

He nodded. "I think so."

Cory sat up. "So you're saying our punishment is just cleaning?"

"That's about all you're going to have time for during the week, sport." Alan said.

"And on weekends, you're grounded," Amy finished. "That's a given."

"Oh, man," Cory flopped roughly against the couch.

"Ouch, Cor," Shawn gave his friend a sympathetic smile. His smile faded when he caught sight of the look Jon was giving him.

"Same goes for you, Hunter," Jon said. "Now get your stuff and let's go."

The adults exchanged good-byes. Feeny made a note that Audrey had come with Jon. He watched with a raised eyebrow as Jon, Shawn, and Audrey left together.

This is not a good situation, he thought.

After they were out of the house, Jon turned to Shawn who sought sympathy from Audrey.

"You didn't put any of that stuff down my drain did you?"

Late that night, Audrey stumbled out of her bathroom. She felt cold, so cold. She shivered. Her skin felt disgustingly clammy. She leaned against the doorframe for support; she felt so weak. Dark thoughts invaded her consciousness. With a sudden burst of energy, Audrey turned and went back into the bathroom. She rummaged frenziedly through her medicine cabinet until she found a bottle of magnesia milk. Hastily, she broke the seal and opened the bottle. With a fluid move, she tipped her head back and down the entire bottle. The second she did it, she regretted it. Her chest constricted until it was painfully tight. Her breath came in short, uneven gasps. She staggered out of the bathroom to the kitchen of her small apartment. Tears blurred her eyes as she scanned the room. Her gaze fell on the phone by the refrigerator. She dragged herself over to it and picked it up. Clutching the receiver, she stared at a blue post-it note on the refrigerator that read:

If you want to talk or need anything, call me. -Jon

Slowly, she dialed his number, urgently needing to talk to him. She touched the last number, but instead of pressing "phone," she hit the off button. At two in the morning, Audrey collapsed on her couch and cried herself to sleep.

Chapter Text

Shawn stared at the wall during homeroom. He and Cory had been relegated to different parts of the room. As it turned out, their punishment included not sitting next to each other during class time.

"Shawn."

Shawn saw Jonathan looking at him with a frown- and standing on his head. Momentarily disoriented, he blinked.

"Audrey's that way," the teacher said quietly, pointing to the front of the classroom.

"Right," he said, still confused as to why Jon was upside down. Then it dawned on him. He was leaning his head over the back of his chair, consequently inverting his view. Once he sat up properly, his spatial orientation was restored.

Homeroom seemed to drag on forever, despite the fact that Audrey was in charge of it. Cory's attention kept wandering. He wondered what kind of grueling chores were awaiting him and Shawn after school.

When the bell rang, Cory and Shawn bolted for the door.

"Shawn!"

Shawn froze just outside of the door, hoping Jon would think he didn't hear him.

"I know you heard me, Hunter."

Darn it, Shawn thought, reluctantly turning around.

"I didn't do it," he declared as he reentered the room.

Audrey shook her head in amusement.

Jon regarded him skeptically. "What didn't you do?"

Shawn opened his mouth and started to say something. He abruptly closed it.

"If you don't already know, I'm not gonna tell you."

Jon rolled his eyes and smiled. "I just wanted to tell you to come straight to the apartment when you're done today. And make sure to tell Audrey good-bye before you and Cory start your detentions."

Shawn frowned. Why would he do that? Unless...

"That wasn't part of the punishment!" he protested.

"Huh?" Jon had no idea what the boy was talking about.

"Audrey not being able to come over was not a part of the punishment!"

"Shawn," Jon said. "Audrey's not going to be here this weekend. She's going home."

"Oh." Shawn wasn't convinced that that was any better. "Why?"

"Cause I miss it, that's why," Audrey told him.

"Do you have to?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Yeah, I kind of do."

Shawn scrunched his face up. "But who's gonna cook for us?"

Jon gave him a light pop with some papers he had in his hand. "She's not your personal chef. We'll survive."

"I think I'm gonna try a fast this weekend," he said seriously.

Audrey laughed. "I'll be back Sunday night."

"Bring me something?" he asked, giving her his best-puppy dog eyes.

She laughed again and ruffled his hair.

"Like what?"

"One of those 'I love NY' shirts."

"You gotta deal, mate."

"Yeah," Jon said, urging him out of the room. "You got your deal. Now get goin' before you're late to your next class."

"I wish I was goin' with you this weekend," Jon said sliding his tray next Audrey's thermos. "I miss the City."

Audrey, who said she had eaten earlier, smiled as she sipped on her water. "How long has it been since you last went back?"

"Almost three years."

"Wow," she said. "I couldn't stay away for so long." She laughed. "Of course, I didn't have much faith that I'd last a week here."

"Neither did I," he admitted with a grin. "I thought for sure you'd have been gone by now." He paused for a moment. "You gonna see your dad?"

Audrey nodded. "Yeah," she said quietly.

Jon quickly changed the subject. "So does this mean you won't be doin' any dancin' this weekend?"

"Nope. If anything I'll be doing more."

Jon raised an eyebrow.

"I spoke to my old teacher at ABC last night," she explained. "He invited me to attend classes while I'm home."

"You're definitely gonna go?"

She pressed her lips into a thin line. "Yes, I think am."

"Even though you're not currently studying dance, you're going to be able to attend those classes?" Katherine had been sitting on the other side of Jon and couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

Audrey was caught off guard by the question. "Well, yes. Cooper knows that I've continued dancing here, so he thought I might want to take a few more lessons with my old company."

"Just like that?"

Audrey wasn't sure why Katherine was questioning her like this. In previous conversations, she never seemed too interested in Audrey's past profession.

"Um, well, I suppose so." She didn't know how else to answer. True, it was unprecedented that a dancer who quit dancing should be asked to come back to their company if only to dance a few lessons, but how would Katherine suspect that? Audrey tried to dismiss it as a coincidence.

Once again, Jon felt extremely uncomfortable being in between the two women.

"So, um, Katherine," Audrey tried to think of something else to talk about. "It's really cool that you're going to New York with us in November. You've been to the City before, right?"

Katherine looked at her. "Yes, once. A long time ago."

Jon seemed surprised to hear that. "Really?" he asked.

Katherine nodded.

"What were you there for?" Audrey leaned against the table to better see her.

Katherine stirred her applesauce with a spoon. She stared at it before answering.

"Dance scholarship competition," she replied quietly.

Jon's astonishment was obvious and Audrey seemed shocked.

"Really?" Audrey asked excitedly. "That's so amazing that you're a dancer, too. What company?"

Katherine gave her a thin smile, wondering why she had ever said anything.

"The scholarships were sponsored by ABC," she said.

"Wow..." Audrey sat back amazed that a fellow company member was here at this school.

"Where'd you study at?"

The question was inevitable, Katherine knew. And it made her wonder all the more why she had brought it up in the first place.

"I didn't make it."

"Oh." Audrey seemed embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

Katherine tried to be flippant about it. She smiled at Audrey. "It's fine. Besides teaching brings in more of an income than dancing ever would."

There was a brief period of silence.

"Could I ask why?" Audrey said, trying to choose her words carefully. "You had to have been outstanding to get as far as scholarship auditions."

Katherine studied her sharply, but Audrey wasn't being condescending; she was serious.

"Flat feet," she said simply.

Audrey nodded in understanding. "I see. It was one of those 'you're a beautiful person and brilliant dancer, but you just don't have the body type we're looking for' speeches, right?"

It was Katherine's turn to be surprised. "You," she said in disbelief. "You've gotten one of those before?"

Audrey gave her an "are you kidding" look. "They give you that speech whether you have flat feet or a thick waist. And, yes, I have gotten that speech before. More than once."

Katherine smiled a real smile this time. Maybe she had been wrong about Audrey being a spoiled little rich girl. Maybe everything hadn't been handed to her.

Jon sensed that the women had made a connection, which should have made him feel better. Before he wasn't convinced that Katherine like Audrey, and now that they seemed to have something in common, he wasn't sure if he was happy about it or not.

"Miss Andrews! Hey, Audrey, wait up."

Audrey was getting ready to leave the high school. She had to get home and pack before Jon took her to the airport. She turned around and saw Shawn jogging towards her.

"You're not leaving yet, are you?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, Shawn, I still have to pack."

"Oh. How long before your flight leaves?"

"Three hours. I leave at six."

"Oh," Shawn said again. "Are you going to come over before you go?" he asked hopefully.

Audrey shook her head regretfully. "I can't," she said apologetically. "There won't be time. And besides, Jon's taking me to the airport." She paused a beat, then added, "Why don't you see if Jon'll lift your grounding just long enough for you to come, too?"

Shawn couldn't help but smile at the invitation. He assumed that she wouldn't him tagging along if she had a chance to be alone with Jon. "Really? You don't mind me hanging around?"

Audrey gave him a funny look. "Of course, not! I love having you around, Shawn. How could you think otherwise?"

He wasn't sure, actually. She often went out of her way to include him in things. It was nice not to be overlooked for once.

"Cool," he grinned. "Then I don't have to say good-bye right now."

"Nope," Audrey winked at him. "Now you better get going before Mr. Feeny comes looking for you."

Shawn's smile diminished. "Oh, right. Well, I'll see you later."

Audrey waved and Shawn watched her leave before trying to find Cory. His friend was standing by his locker with a melancholy look on his face.

"Have you seen Feeny yet?" Shawn asked.

Cory shook his head. "Not yet. But that creepy Solomon kid ran by and told me to watch my back."

Shawn tugged at the hem of his jacket. "You say good-bye to Miss Andrews? We won't see her all weekend."

Cory looked at him. "I always say bye to her on Fridays after English. And I never see her on weekends."

"Oh, yeah," Shawn shrugged. "She's going back to New York for the weekend."

"Really?" Cory's eyes lit up. "You think she'd bring me back an 'I love NY' shirt?"

Shawn looked at him smugly. "I already asked. But when Jon and I take her to the airport, I'll ask her to get you one too."

"Cool!"

"There they are!"

Cory and Shawn looked for the source of the shout. Their eyes widened in surprise. Gathered in the hallway was the crowd that had bought miracle soap from them.

"Uh, oh," Cory gulped. "They don't look very happy."

"What's with them?" Shawn asked. "They got their money back, and we're out of business. What more do they want?"

"We want you to try out your own product."

The boys turned around to see Solomon Tiegs standing behind them, looking smug.

"What?"

Without warning, Cory and Shawn were overtaken by their classmates. They had no opportunity to defend themselves. After several minutes, the crowd disbanded, and the halls were empty again.

Cory and Shawn were left sitting on the floor, leaning against the lockers for support. Their faces were smeared with foul-smelling green goo and a minty aqua paste.

"Ow," Shawn said weakly.

Cory merely groaned and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, both boys sat bolt upright.

"F-f-f-fire!" they cried in unison, frantically fanning their faces. Jumping up and scrambling blindly about, they attempted to gain their bearings.

"That way," Cory pointed.

Without another word, they made a mad dash to the boys' bathroom.

Shawn's face was still bothering him when he finally got back to Jon's apartment. He smelled like cleaning chemicals and floor wax.

Jon was waiting for him.

"Whoa, do you smell!" he greeted him. "Go take a quick shower. We've got to get Audrey in an hour."

"I won't argue with you about that," Shawn said, greatly relieved to be able to clean himself up.

His hair was still damp when he and Jon left to get Audrey. They were walking to the parking garage of the apartment complex when a realization dawned on Shawn.

"How are we gonna fit three people on your bike?"

Jon looked at him. "We're not." At the puzzled look on Shawn's face, he added, "We're takin' the truck."

Shawn was even more confused. "When did you get a truck?"

Jon shook his head in amazement that the boy could be so oblivious to certain things. "About a year ago. Didn't you ever wonder how I would have gotten groceries back here on my bike?"

Shawn shrugged. "Hey, I don't ask where the food comes from or how it got here, as long as it is here."

Jon laughed. "You're a real piece of work, Hunter."

Shawn smiled. "I try."

"I believe you."

"Which one's yours?" Shawn asked as they neared several vehicles.

"Blue Chevy," Jon said, pointing to an older, but well-kept truck.

"Blue's Audrey's favorite color," Shawn commented.

Jon gave him a funny look. "Is it now."

"Hey, extended cab." Shawn jogged over to the pickup. "Not bad for a teacher."

"I don't think so," Jon said, opening the door. "Buckle up."

Shawn was kneeling in the front seat so that he could check out the back. He turned around and slid into the seat.

"So," Shawn turned slightly so he could better see his guardian. "You gonna miss her?"

Jon glanced at him. "Who? Audrey?"

"Yeah."

Jon took a deep breath, trying to decide the best way to answer. How honest should he be with Shawn? He was concerned that being too open about his feelings towards Audrey, whatever they were, wasn't wisdom. And he was already worried that he wasn't exercising enough wisdom with Audrey.

After a brief hesitation, he replied, "Well, sure."

His answer didn't satisfy Shawn, who suspected that it went deeper than a simple "well, sure."

"Com'n, Jon," he said. "With all the time we've spent with her—that you've spent with her—you're around her even more than me, and you're not gonna miss her more than that?"

Sometimes Shawn Hunter could be remarkably astute. And it could be remarkably irritating.

"Yeah, I am going to miss her," Jon admitted, hoping that would be the end of it.

"A lot?"

"Shawn!"

"What?" Shawn couldn't help but smile. He'd struck a nerve, and he knew it.

"Could we talk about somethin' else, please?"

Shawn shrugged. "Okay, fine. Let's talk about somethin' else."

"Thank you."

"Let's talk about how gorgeous Miss Andrews is." Shawn grinned.

He'd definitely hit upon something. Jon was blushing.

"Let's not." Jon reached over and turned on the radio to a local soft rock station.

"She is," Shawn prodded.

"I'm not blind," Jon muttered.

That was good enough for Shawn. He leaned back in his seat and watched the scenery fly by the window.

Before long, they were at Audrey's place. It was a small white two-story house with a rickety picket fence that had once been white many, many years ago. Audrey rented the top floor from a sweet, old widow who lived in the lower portion.

Audrey opened the door before they could ring the doorbell.

"Hi," she greeted them with a huge grin.

"Ask them in," said a horse voice. "I won't keep them but a second."

Audrey motioned for Jon and Shawn to come inside. "This is Mrs. Dupree," she introduced them to her landlady. "Mrs. Dupree, Jon and Shawn."

Mrs. Dupree was a tiny woman, her posture bent with age and probably osteoporosis. She had to be at least eighty. Her perfectly permed white hair was cut short, and she wore light pink rouge on her withered cheeks. She looked Jon and Shawn over with intelligent blue eyes that sparkled with mischievousness.

"My, what handsome young men you have to chauffer you about, my dear," she winked at Audrey.

She turned and gazed steadily at Shawn, who returned her smile. He liked the old woman.

That's what a grandmother should be like, he thought.

"Is this your husband and son?" Mrs. Dupree had a wicked gleam in her eyes. She knew full well that they weren't. But she figured that she was old enough to have a little fun with the young people.

"Maudie!" Audrey yelped in surprise. Her cheeks flushed crimson. Yesterday she had been mistaken for Jon's girlfriend, and now his wife? Audrey wanted to hide. Maybe she'd just go to New York and stay there.

Shawn now loved Mrs. Dupree. Jon and Audrey looked as though someone had dumped ice water on them. Shawn chuckled. While he was pestering Jon, Mrs. Dupree must have been doing the same to Audrey.

"I like the way you think, Mrs. Dupree," he grinned.

Mrs. Dupree merely winked at him.

Jon had the feeling that, if left alone, Mrs. Dupree and Shawn would start plotting something. They both had that look in their eyes.

"It was really nice to meet you, Mrs. Dupree," Jon said genially, shaking the woman's hand. "But we're gonna have to be leavin' if Audrey's going to catch her flight."

"Oh, of course," Mrs. Dupree said merrily. "Go, go." She kissed Audrey's cheek and stroked a lock of her hair fondly. "Be careful and don't let that airline lose your luggage, angel."

"I won't," Audrey returned the kiss. "Good-bye, Maudie!"

Jon picked up Audrey's suitcase, and the trio headed out to the truck.

"Oh." Audrey's eyes lit up when she saw the vehicle. "I love that shade of blue. It's my favorite."

Shawn shot Jon an "I told you so" look. Jon ignored him.

As it turned out, Audrey's flight was delayed an hour due to inclement weather. To pass the time, they wandered around the airport. T-shirts hanging in the gift shop window reminded Shawn of something.

"Hey, Audrey."

Audrey draped her arm around his shoulders. "Hmm?"

"Cory wanted to know if you'd bring him back an "I love NY" shirt, too."

Audrey nodded. "Will do," she said.

With fifteen minutes left to wait, they headed back to Audrey's gate and sat in the nearby waiting area.

Shawn noticed that neither Audrey nor Jon had spoken much to each other since arriving at the airport.

"Do you think you could get me a barf bag and those airplane peanuts?"

Audrey and Jon regarded him through narrowed eyes.

"Do I want to know why you want that?" she asked suspiciously.

Shawn thought about it for a moment. "Probably not."

Jon shook his head and laughed.

"I'll see what I can do," she chuckled.

"Is there anything else you want her to bring you?" Jon asked sarcastically.

"How 'bout Ellis Island?"

"I don't think it would fit in my bag," Audrey replied.

Eventually, Audrey's flight was called. After a bit of an awkward moment, Shawn wrapped her in a big hug. Then he stood back, shoved his hands into his pocket, and stared at the floor. When he looked back up at her, he had a pained expression in his eyes.

"Promise you'll come back," he said in a barely audible voice.

Audrey wasn't certain why he was asking such a thing. She looked at Jon, who didn't have an answer for her.

"Of course, I will. It's only a few days. You'll hardly know I'm gone."

"Will you call?"

"Sure."

It was the most serious she had ever seen, and it disturbed her.

"Promise."

Suddenly, Audrey realized the reason for his graveness.

His father.

Poor Shawn was still waiting with hope for that call from his dad.

Audrey took his chin in her hand. "I promise," she said, matching his seriousness. "You can count on it, bud."

Shawn smiled. "Have fun. Dance 'til your feet fall off."

Audrey smiled. "That's more like it."

She turned to look for Jon. He stepped forward to hug her.

"Be careful," he said into her hair, trying to memorize her perfume and the silkiness of her hair.

Audrey found it hard to smile. All of a sudden, she didn't want to go. Without thinking, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks," she said. "For everything."

Quickly picking up her carry-on, she headed for the gate, turning around one last time to wave good-bye.

Shawn wandered over to the window to watch the planes take off. Raindroplets splashed against the window and ran down the glass, making his reflection look like it was crying. Jon stood beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"She'll be back," he said.

"How do you know?" There was forlornness in the boy's voice.

"She promised."

"So did my dad."

Jon sighed. He didn't know what else to say; he didn't think there was anything he could say. The only way Shawn would be convinced that not everyone in his life would leave for good, would be for him to see Audrey return on Sunday.

This is going to be a long weekend, he thought.

They stayed at the window until they could no longer see Audrey's plane.

Chapter Text

Cory sighed heavily as he raked leaves into a pile on the football field of John Adams High. He still had ten yards left to go, plus bagging the leaves and taking them to the trash. If that wasn't bad enough, it was a record hot October day.

He paused for a rest and leaned on the handle of the rake for support. He could see Shawn in the distance carrying several large trash bags to the dumpster. Shawn had a discouraged look on his face; similar to the one he had when his dad first left. Cory scratched his head. Shawn had been abnormally quiet since Miss Andrews left for New York, and Cory wasn't sure why. His friend had been in no mood to discuss it when Cory tried to ask about it that morning. In time, he knew, Shawn would talk to him. Until then, Cory wished he could do something to make Shawn feel better.

A call from his dad would help, Cory thought. A surge of anger towards Chet Hunter swelled inside of him. Surely the man could have found a pay phone and called. So what if he didn't have the change for it? Mr. Turner wouldn't mind taking a collect call.

"Hey, kid!" Cory spun around, startled by the shout. Janitor Bud stood on the edge of the field. "This ain't no break time. Get back to work."

Cory sighed again and went back to his raking.

"Why do you have to bring this up every time we get together?" Jon pulled away from Katherine and got off the couch.

"Because," she said defensively. "I want a commitment from you."

"But marriage?" He paced the area by the front door. "Do you know what you're asking?"

This time, Katherine jumped up in a huff. "Yes, Jonathan, I do, actually. Why do you think marriage is so terrible, huh?"

"I never said that!" he snapped irritably. "Don't put words in my mouth. I'm just not ready to get married."

Katherine gave a irritated grunt. She didn't want to fight with him, but this was important to her, and his resistance was frustrating.

"As long as we've been dating and you don't feel any inclination to get married?"

"First of all," Jon stopped his pacing and faced her. "A few months is not a long time. And secondly, maybe I don't feel any inclination to get married because you keep pressurin' me!"

"Don't you love me?"

Jon felt a headache coming on. He put his hand on his forehead and tried to pull himself together. He had no desire to argue with Katherine, but this was getting to be too much for him to handle. Every time she came over lately, they ended up in the same argument that always ended the same way- with someone angrily storming out.

"We've been over this, Kat," he said tiredly.

"And you've never given me a straight answer," she shot back.

He sighed. That much was true. He supposed he owed her an honest answer.

"I don't know," he admitted, sounding defeated.

The hurt in her eyes bothered him.

"I care about you, Kat, I really do. But I just can't tell what you wanna hear right now."

Katherine nodded. "Will you ever?" Her chin began to quiver; she was close to tears.

"Yes," he said immediately. "Probably. I just...I need time, okay? Shawn's about all I can deal with right now. He comes first."

Katherine pursed her lips together. "Yes, I know."

"Don't say it that way, Kat. He needs me."

Katherine looked at him sharply. "So do I."

She was angry again; Jon could see it in her eyes.

"Then tell me what to do," he said, sitting down on the arm of the couch. She stared at him. "Do you really want me to marry you now?"

She frowned at him. "Of course, I do."

"Then just let me ask you this," he said. "Do you want me to marry you because you've pressured me into it, or would you rather it be because I love you?"

"You know the answer to that," she replied quietly.

"Then give me some time."

The phone rang three times before Shawn finally answered it.

"Hello?" he said sleepily. He had just gotten home from detention.

"May I speak to Shawn Hunter?"

"Audrey!" he cried excitedly. He was fully awake now.

"Hey, bud. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just got back from school." Shawn pulled a kitchen stool over to the phone so he could sit down. "Feeny worked me and Cory like dogs."

Audrey laughed. "Poor babies."

"You're telling me!" Shawn couldn't believe that she'd actually called. "You wanna talk to Jon?"

"I called to talk to you."

"Yeah? Cool! So how's New York?"

"It's cold," she said. "They're expecting snow by Monday night. I'm glad I'll be back in town tomorrow night."

"You don't think you'll get stuck there, do you?"

"Nah," she said lightly. "Weather report is predicting snow after midnight. I'll be back long before that."

"Good," Shawn breathed a sigh of relief.

"So what have I been missing so far?"

Shawn fill her in on the details of his and Cory's punishment duty and his plans for the rest of the day. He left off mentioning that Miss Tompkins had been over earlier.

In return, Audrey told him about her dance sessions at the American Ballet Company. One class she was about to be late for.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to Jon?" Shawn asked again. "He oughta be back in a few minutes."

"No," Audrey assured him. "I'll call back after class and talk to him."

"Okay, I'll tell him you called. Thanks for callin', Audrey."

" No prob, bud. I miss you, you know."

Audrey couldn't see Shawn's face light up, but she could hear it in his voice. "Yeah? I miss you too."

They said their good-byes and Shawn hung up the phone. He felt much better.

Shawn grabbed the TV remote and flopped down on the couch, but he couldn't concentrate on any of the programs. Audrey said she would call and she did. Just to talk to him. Just to tell him that she missed him. Shawn smiled.

If Audrey could do that, then why couldn't his dad?

The front door opened. Jon was back from taking Katherine home. He looked stressed and was not particularly happy.

Shawn sat up when he heard his guardian come in.

"Hey, Jon," he grinned.

Jon gave him a funny look. He noticed the drastic change in Shawn's attitude. That morning, the boy had been in a rotten mood.

I wonder if his dad called, he thought. Somehow, he doubted it.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked.

Shawn shrugged and laid back down on the couch. "Audrey called."

"Oh?" Jon moved Shawn's feet so that he could sit on the couch. "What'd she call about?"

Shawn smiled at the television. "To tell me she missed me."

You're a saint, Audrey, Jon thought.

"She say anythin' about me?"

"Nope," Shawn didn't take his eyes off of the screen. "She was going to be late for class, so she said she'd call back later to talk to you."

Jon smiled to himself. Audrey had a knack for cheering Shawn up.

"Shawn?"

"Hmm"

"Isn't there somethin' else on beside Bugs Bunny?"

Sunday

"I don't see her!" Shawn was standing on his toes, trying to see over the crowd that had just disembarked.

Jon grabbed Shawn's jacket to keep him from falling over. "She probably hasn't gotten off yet. Be patient."

Shawn stood back on flat feet, shifting impatiently from one foot to another.

It seemed like a thousand people passed them before he saw the redhead.

"Audrey!" Shawn rushed to meet her.

He nearly knocked her down with his bear hug. She laughed and hugged him back. For good luck, she ruffled his hair.

"You and Cory haven't tried to sell anything else while I was gone, have you?" She teased him.

Shawn grinned. "Nope. Not yet."

"Don't even joke like that," Jon said. He greeted his student teacher with a hug as well, surprised by just how much he had missed her.

"Have a good trip?" he asked as they went to baggage claim to pick up Audrey's luggage.

"Uh, huh." Audrey brushed her hair out of her eyes. "It was rushed, but I loved every second of it. It felt fantastic to be back at ABC."

The trip back went by quickly. They had barely gotten in the door of Jon's apartment when Shawn asked, "What'd ya bring me?"

Audrey laughed, and Jon rolled his eyes. "My, what impressive manners you have," he told Shawn.

"Actually," Audrey said, taking a large plastic bag out of her duffle bag. "This is for you."

"Cool! You're the best!"

Shawn immediately started going through his sack.

"Oh," Audrey said to Jon. "I got something for you, too."

Jon looked pleasantly surprised. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know," she said, pointing to a large rectangular parcel wrapped in brown paper. " But you mentioned that you were looking for it, and I found it at a little shop on Fifth Avenue."

Jon couldn't recall mentioning anything of that nature to Audrey.

"Cool!" Shawn cried. "Check out all the bags of peanuts. Look at the barf bags!"

"I'd rather not," Jon shook his head and smiled as he lifted the package onto the kitchen table.

"You got the shirts, too!" Shawn pulled his "I love NY" shirt on over the other two shirts he was wearing. He dug in the bag a little further. "There's four shirts." He held up another white one and two black shirts.

Audrey turned to him. "I thought you and Cory might like a little variety."

"Thanks."

"Oh, Audrey." Jon held up her gift, thoroughly overwhelmed. It was a large, black-framed painting of the New York skyline after dark. "This is exactly the one I was looking for."

Audrey grinned.

"Jon, look." Shawn held up a large snow globe. Inside the globe, was a magnificent Statue of Liberty, standing proudly on an island. He turned it upside down and saw a little knob. He turned it several times and was rewarded by hearing it play "The Star-Spangled Banner." His grin lit all corners of his face. "Jon," he said again. "She brought me Ellis Island!"

Chapter Text

Early on Saturday morning, three weeks after the "miracle soap" incident, Cory and Shawn were tossing a football around in the Matthews' backyard. Though they were still not allowed to talk to each other outside of school during the week, they were finally able to see each other on weekends again.

Cory was greatly relieved to have his weekend free time back, as he had been able to do nothing but homework, chores, and babysit Morgan over the last twenty-one days. He had never been so happy to do nothing again. Shawn, on the other hand, had not minded his grounding as much due to the fact that Audrey was over so often.

During his time cooped up in the apartment, as he had told Cory, Shawn noticed that the amount of time Jon and Audrey spent working on schoolwork was continually decreasing and the time they spent just "hanging out" was continually increasing. He also reported with a certain level of satisfaction that Audrey's phone number had bumped Miss Tompkins's number down to number two on the speed dial. He also said that it had been over a week since Jon and Katherine had last gone out on a date, and she hadn't been over lately. Cory got the distinct impression that his friend was more than a little happy that Miss Tompkins was not around so much. Though Shawn never said anything directly, Cory could tell that she made him uncomfortable. Shawn did once tell him that, while he liked Miss Tompkins as a person, he didn't think she was right for Jon.

"So," Cory jogged backwards to catch the pass Shawn threw him. "When are Mr. Turner and Miss Andrews coming to get us?"

For months, Cory and Shawn wanted to go to a Six Flags amusement park, but no one had the time to take them. They had been unusually well behaved during their punishment, so Jon and Audrey, with the Matthews' blessing, had surprised them with a trip to a nearby theme park in New Jersey. Cory and Shawn had been looking forward to it all week. They had, in fact, almost driven Mr. and Mrs. Matthews crazy with their incessant chatter about the upcoming outing.

Shawn glanced at his watch. "They ought to be here in fifteen minutes."

"Cool." Cory flung the football as hard as he could. It spiraled nicely and sailed over Shawn's head, landing somewhere behind the tree that grew near Cory's bedroom window.

Shawn disappeared behind the tree to retrieve the ball and didn't come back.

"Hey, Cory?" he finally called.

"Yeah?"

"You remember the day Jon said I could stay with him?"

"Yeah," Cory replied slowly, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"You remember how you tried to climb down the tree and got caught?"

"Yeah," Cory said again, recalling the details of that day.

Did I lose a shoe or something, and Shawn found it? he wondered. He couldn't remember losing anything.

"That nasty little squirrel kept coming at me," he added with a scowl.

"Well," Shawn said with an odd tone to his voice. "I think that nasty squirrel kicked the bucket. Literally."

Cory ran over to the tree to see what was going on.

Shawn was standing over a red plastic bucket of Morgan's that was half-buried in the sandbox.

Cory peered into the bucket to see what had caught Shawn's interest. He jumped back when he did. A medium-sized squirrel lay tail up in the pail. It looked petrified. Whatever it was, one thing was certain: it was dead.

"Yuck," Cory said. "Wonder what happened to it?"

"I don't know," Shawn replied absentmindedly. He reached for a nearby stick and poked at the animal.

"Dead?" Cory asked.

"I don't think it's sleepin'."

Shawn dropped the stick and gave the bucket a kick.

"Definitely not sleepin'," he confirmed.

"Yeesh," Cory muttered. "Why'd it have to die in there?"

"Let's bury it," Shawn said. He dug the pail out of the sand and picked it up. With his free hand, he began to dig a grave.

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Cory said, taking the pail from him. He held it at arm's length.

"What?" Shawn stopped digging.

"You're not going to bury it there, are you?"

Shawn looked at him. "That was the idea."

"But my sister plays in there." Cory paused for a moment. "So do I, for that matter."

"So where should we put it?"

"I don't know." Cory turned around in circles, looking for a spot to deposit the corpse.

"Cory! Shawn!"

The boys could hear Mrs. Matthews calling for them from inside the house.

"Your ride's here."

"Yeah, coming, Mom," Cory shouted back.

"There," Shawn pointed to the barbeque grill. "Why don't we put the bucket on top of that? Your dad'll know what to do with it."

"Good idea," Cory responded. He carelessly set the bucket on the grill as he and Shawn ran into the house.

Amy had hoped that it would take the boys awhile to come inside; she wanted a chance to talk to Audrey. Though she had spoken with the student teacher briefly in the past and had heard much about her from Cory, Amy had never sat down and really talked to Audrey.

Unfortunately, she would not have had that chance today.

The boys rushed in almost immediately. Shawn ran to Audrey and hugged her as though he hadn't seen her in days. Amy couldn't help but notice the grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear. It had been a long time since she had seen a smile like that on Shawn.

"I'll tell you what, Jonathan," Alan said, smiling at the giddy boys. "You and Audrey are incredibly brave to take those two on a two hour road trip."

Jon smiled. "We may regret this," he said lightly.

Alan smiled in amusement. He had much experience with Cory and Shawn on road trips. "Oh, you will," he assured him. "You will."

Cory and Shawn were practically dragging Audrey to the front door.

"I think they want to leave," she said over her shoulder.

"Guys," Amy scolded them. "Be careful with her. You'll leave soon enough."

Cory let go of Audrey long enough to hug his parents and say good-bye. Shawn kept a grip on the redhead, pulling her with him as he also hugged Amy and said goodbye to Alan.

"I'd really love to get together with you sometime soon, Mrs. Matthews," Audrey said as she was being led to the door again. Cory and Shawn stopped short of the door, causing Audrey to trip. Jon caught her before she could fall.

"Would you two let go?" he said as he helped Audrey regain her balance.

"We will get together soon," Amy promised the girl. "And call me Amy."

Audrey smiled and waved goodbye as the four of them headed out to the truck.

Amy shut the door and leaned against it with a secretive smile on her lips. Alan looked at her suspiciously.

"And what would that look be for, exactly?" he asked, walking over to her.

"Audrey's a beautiful girl, don't you think?"

"Yes," Alan said slowly, wondering what his wife was getting at. She seemed to be off in her own little world.

"And really sweet, too."

"Mmhmm."

"And she's been so good for Jon."

Alan frowned. "You mean Shawn?"

"What?" Amy looked startled. "That's what I said."

"No you didn't," he said accusatorily. "You said Jon. Amy-y-y."

"What?" she said again. "It is true. She's been good for both of them."

Alan shook his head. "Please stay out of this."

"I just think that they'd make a cute couple that's all." She walked pass him towards the kitchen.

"No," he said following her. "That's never all. Please, don't try to play matchmaker."

"I wouldn't think of it," she said innocently.

"Promise me."

Amy rolled her eyes at him and he took her by the shoulders.

"Amy..." He looked into her eyes. "Promise me."

"Oh, Alan," she said in exasperation. At the look on his face, she smiled. "All right. I promise."

"Good." Alan kissed her nose and wrapped her in a hug. "That's my girl."

"Look," Jon said slightly irritated. He glanced in the rearview mirror. "We are not stopping again."

"But it was a really cool looking gas station, Jon," Shawn protested with a hint of a whine in his voice. "Besides I have to go."

Jon gave him an annoyed look in the mirror. "That's impossible. We just stopped ten minutes ago. We're driving at least another half an hour before we stop again."

Audrey shook her head. In the last forty-five minutes, they had stopped at nearly every gas station on the way to Jackson, New Jersey. Shawn also insisted on taking a tour of each station before leaving. He seemed fascinated with them.

Cory sat quietly, for the moment, staring out the window with a grin plastered on his face. Suddenly, he broke out into song.

"Ninety-nine cans on Pepsi on the wall..."

"Not again," Audrey groaned, rubbing her forehead.

Shawn grinned and joined in.

"Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-eight cans of Pepsi on the wall..."

Jon glanced at Audrey. "You'd think they'd get sick of singin' the same thing over and over again."

"You'd think," she muttered and slid down into the seat.

"Guys," Jon interrupted their tune. "Could you sing somethin' else? If you have to sing."

Cory and Shawn exchanged looks. Cory shrugged and Shawn took a deep breath.

"This is the song that doesn't end..."

Jon groaned.

Audrey looked at him. "Had to say something, didn't you?"

Jon gave her a helpless smile.

Audrey laughed.

Fifteen minutes later, the boys were still at it.

"Yes, it goes on and on, my friend..."

"Okay, okay!" Jon had had enough of the eternal song. "If you stop, I'll stop at the next station."

The truck was instantly silent.

The next gas station they came upon was a large, bustling truck stop. Shawn was thrilled.

"I'll bet they have a huge gift shop," Cory remarked, more to himself than to anyone else.

Jon put the pickup into park and then turned around in his seat.

"What exactly is it with you and gas stations?"

Shawn looked as him as though he couldn't believe that Jon didn't get it.

"They're neat," was the only explanation he offered.

Jon glanced at Cory, who regarded his friend with a perplexed look.

"Wanna help me out here, Matthews?" he asked.

Cory nodded. "Sure." He gave Shawn a funny look "What is it with you and gas stations?"

Shawn understood the question when Cory asked it. "A couple of summers ago, me and my dad toured all the gas stations around Philly. We checked out all the cool museums in them."

The other three passengers in the vehicle exchanged confused looks.

"Museums in a gas station?" Audrey asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Shawn said. "You know the ones that have all kinds of foods on display. And those bottles behind the glass doors."

"You mean the convenience store?" Audrey still wasn't clear on what Shawn was talking about.

"Is that what they're callin' museums nowadays?"

Audrey was completely baffled by the direction the conversation had taken.

Jon sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Anyway," he urged, trying to get past the whole museum thing. "You and your dad went to the different gas stations, and..."

"Right," Shawn said, apparently unaware of the confusion he had caused. "That was the best vacation ever."

Cory glanced at Audrey, who looked at Jon. Jon covered his mouth with his hand. He and Audrey exchanged looks that said, "Uh-oh, a connection to his dad, who still hasn't called. Maybe we should indulge him."

"Well," Jon said finally. "Let's go in and, uh, check out the museum."

Alan had been looking forward to this weekend for quite awhile. Cory was gone for the day at an amusement park and wouldn't be home until late. Eric was at the mall and had a date later in the evening. Morgan was at a friend's house until dinner. Amy was out shopping with some friends. He had the house all to himself with nothing to do. The only problem was... he had nothing to do.

He shuffled through the contents of the refrigerator and came across a steak buried beneath several TV dinners in the freezer. Today was as good as any for cooking outside. He might as well make use of the cool weather before it was too cold to barbeque.

Minutes after exiting the house, he discovered the "gift" that was left on his grill by Cory and Shawn.

"What the-?" He jumped back in alarm after glancing in the bucket. Further inspection of the pail determined that the squirrel inside was no longer living.

"What in the world did they do this time?" Alan muttered aloud. Gingerly, he picked up the bucket, wondering what had possessed the boys, for he had no doubt that the culprits were anyone other than Cory and Shawn, to do such a thing. Alan knew they had not killed the animals themselves, but rather found it, probably by scouring a neighbor's yard. But why they had left it on the grill was beyond him. Perhaps it was better that he didn't understand.

Unable to decide what to do with the dead creature, he scanned the yard for a discreet burial spot. His gaze fell on the rosebushes at the far end of the yard. Alan hoped that burying them behind the bushes would prevent any of the kids from accidentally uncovering it.

Well, at least it'll make good fertilizer, he thought morbidly. Poor animal. I wonder what did it in?

Cory was thrilled to be at Six Flags, but not so enamored with the thrill rides that Shawn wanted him to go on.

"I thought these rides didn't bother you anymore," Jon said as they stood in line for the Batman. "After the huge one you and Feeny went on, I wouldn't think that this little one would scare you."

Cory swung his arms back and forth, smacking the fist of one hand together with the palm of the other. "Yeah, well, after riding that big one, I no longer feel the need to prove myself by riding the small ones," he gulped as he stared up at the roller coaster. "Besides," he went on. "I think someone ought to keep Miss Andrews company while she waits for you guys."

Shawn laughed. "She's goin', Cor."

Cory stared at the student teacher in surprise. "Really?"

Audrey nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. I kinda like these rides." She turned to Jon. "Don't you?"

He shook his head adamantly. "No. Which is why I'm waitin' here for you."

Cory seemed relieved to know that he wasn't the only one in their group who had no intention of going on the roller coasters.

Audrey pushed out her bottom lip in a mock pout. "Will you go on the Dragon Fly with me then?"

"Sur-" Jon stopped short of committing himself. "Wait. Is that the one where they drop you from a really high point and you swing on the stretcher thing?"

Audrey nodded.

"Are you crazy? There's no way I'm goin'."

"C'mon, Cor," Shawn pleaded. "Would you at least do that? It's not a roller coaster."

Cory pinched his brow together. "Shawn, that's up, like, really high off the ground."

"So?"

"You remember that movie with James Stewart we watched last year in English? You know Vertigo?"

"Yeah."

"Watching that movie made me dizzy and sick. I'm sticking with Mr. Turner on this."

Despite taking such a stand, Cory somehow found himself being strapped into a seat next to Shawn on the Batman. A sense of dread and desperation came over him. He hoped there was a trash can nearby when they got off of the ride. He had the unpleasant feeling he was going to need it.

After ride was over, Cory stumbled woozily over to Jon. Shawn was riding an adrenaline high and Audrey didn't seem too impressed with the roller coaster trip.

Jon and Audrey let the boys lead the way through the park, stopping wherever they wanted. It was a perfect autumn day; the sun was out and shining brightly, the air was cool and crisp. Audrey took Jon's arm as they followed Cory and Shawn to the rock-climbing wall.

At the top of the wall the boys had their pictures taken by Audrey. Shawn hung onto to the wall with one hand and Cory pretended to be falling off. As they climbed back down, something not far beyond the rock-climbing wall caught Audrey's eye.

"Oh, we have to do that!" she squealed in delight, pointing at a simulated wood structure.

"What is it?" Jon asked, peering in the direction she was pointing.

"It's the Olde Tyme photo booth. It's the coolest thing here."

"Oh, yeah," he said. "Those pictures are pretty cool."

"Uh-huh." Audrey's eyes shone with excitement.

The boys joined them and caught Audrey's enthusiasm for the unusual pictures.

"Race ya there," Shawn told Cory.

A grin spread over Cory's face. "You're on."

Without waiting for an official start, Shawn took off with Cory at his heels.

The phone rang for the fourth time without being answered. With a sigh, George replaced the receiver on the base. He had been trying to reach Audrey for the last hour. The professor at the New York City University who oversaw her studies was coming to town on Monday. There were things that George needed to go over with the girl before the conference that was to include himself and Jonathan. She needed to be briefed before Monday and it was frustrating not to be able to get a hold of her.

George picked up the phone again. This time he called her cell phone. Surely she would answer that. No such luck, however; he only received her voice mail. Either her phone was turned off or she didn't have it with her.

George drummed his fingers against the table. It was imperative that he get a hold of her. He wondered who might possibly know where she was.

Jonathan, of course, he remembered suddenly.

The thought was unsettling for some reason. Despite having been repeatedly reassured by Jonathan that there was nothing going on between him and Audrey, George couldn't shake the feeling that something could. He tried to discourage such a thing as much as possible. It was his experience that inter-colleague romance led to nothing but trouble. At least the split between Jonathan and Katherine had been amicable or so it seemed- that was something to be grateful for. George tapped his index finger against his mouth. Now that he thought of it, he had heard nothing from either Jon or Katherine about the breakup, though it was apparent they were no longer together.

All the more reason to be concerned about the direction the relationship with Audrey could go, he thought petulantly.

It wasn't that he disliked either of them. On the contrary, George felt rather protective of both them and didn't want to see either hurt. And, he had to concede, they would be a well-matched pair. Unfortunately, the age difference between them was too great. Problems they couldn't foresee would present themselves if the relationship went beyond professionalism and friendship. It was better that such a relationship never get started for the well being of both parties. And he should know- he was once in the very situation. And it did not end well.

Alan was coming out of the garage with a shovel when a second dead squirrel caught his attention. It was lying stiffly by the edge of the driveway.

This is just bizarre, Alan thought he walked over to inspect it. Carefully, he slid the shovel under the animal and carried it to the backyard, depositing it next to the other one.

Must have gotten into rat poison or something that someone threw out, Alan decided as he dug a shallow grave. He scooped up the two rodents and dropped them into the hole. He covered them in the rich earth of the flowerbed, hoping that they would decay before Amy tended to the roses again. He would hate for her to find them.

Brushing the soil on his hands off on his jeans, Alan whistled a cheerful tune despite having become a squirrel undertaker. He returned the shovel to its place on the garage wall over the wheelbarrow. He decided to check the mail before going back inside. On his way back to the house, he saw the third squirrel on the front porch.

Audrey was just a bit uncomfortable in her Olde Tyme photo costume. It was a red flapper's dress from the 1920's with black fringe that swayed and swished with her every move. The bodice was slightly large in the hips and the skirt was short. A little too short for her taste.

She adjusted the feathered headband she had been given as an accessory around her head. She felt incredibly self-conscious being so exposed. She was positive that all her flaws were accentuated in the costume and she did not want to step out of the changing room.

Audrey could hear Shawn and Cory laughing and hollering over their outfits. Hesitantly, she stuck a foot outside of the stall and quickly jerked it back. It was cold without her socks. With a burst of bravado, she pulled back the curtain and stepped into the main photo area. She was greeted by a wolf whistle.

Whirling around on her heel, she saw Jon grinning at her. She shook her head and laughed, hiding her crimson cheeks behind her hair as much as the headband would allow.

Jon looked every bit the part of a '20's gangster. He wore a black pinstriped zoot suit with a black shirt and wide white tie. For props, he had been given an old-fashion machine gun made out of wood, a sack of fake money, and a plastic cigar. With a white banded, black fedora hat cocked smartly on his head, he looked as though he stepped out of a Dick Tracy comic. The only thing broke that illusion was his bare feet.

"Hey, check out Miss Andrews," Cory said. He and Shawn were also smiling appreciatively at her.

Audrey couldn't help but laugh when she saw them as she understood they were teasing each other earlier.

Neither quite pulled off the gangster look. Cory's outfit was far too large. With sleeves that hung way below his wrists, a collar that was too big around, and pant cuffs that lay in fold about his ankles, he looked like a five-year-old who had tried on his father's suit. Shawn didn't look much better. While the jacket and shirt fit him better, he had to hold the waist of the pants up with one hand. He also had to keep pushing the hat back as it repeatedly slid over his eyes.

The photographer obviously enjoyed his job. He handed Audrey a black and red feather boa and directed them over to the "getaway" car- the front half of a black '20's Ford prop.

"All right then," the photographer name Sid said. He pulled a small stool over and told Jon to sit down. Sid stood back an assessed his canvas. "Okay, Miss," he said to Audrey. "Let's have you sit on his lap."

At this Cory and Shawn exchanged looks, but said nothing.

Audrey gave her skirt a firm down before taking her place. Sid further posed the two, instructed Jon to put one arm around her waist and hold the gun in his free hand. He had Audrey put her arm around Jon's neck and hold a wad of cash in her hand. Sid gave her a small handgun to hold in the other hand and hold it against her knee. Audrey and Jon could barely keep from laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

Cory and Shawn were added to the picture next.

"Okay, Sly," Sid said to Shawn. "You stand next to yer mom."

Shawn did as he was told and didn't bother to correct the photographer.

Audrey wasn't sure if she should be insulted or not. Did she really look old enough to be the mother of a teenager?

Shawn stood by her with a machine gun across his chest, a bag of money in hand, and a hat that once again slid down over his eyes. Cory was on the other side next to Jon with a cigar between his teeth and a pained expression on his face. The cigar tasted gross.

Sid took several shots and posed them all over again, occasionally calling out directions like "Okay, you just robbed a bank- give me yer gruffest look"; "Look real bad, Red- you're a ganstas girl." He took several group pictures, ones of Cory and Shawn, and Jon and Audrey.

After changing back into their regular clothes, they were able to view all of the photos via computer and choose their favorites. One in particular caused quite a laugh. Cory's attempt to look mean was comical. His chin was thrust out and his eyes were squinted almost shut. He looked like he was trying to stop a sneeze. At the instant the picture was snapped, Shawn had looked over at him and started to laugh.

As the little group left the booth with extra complimentary shots from Sid who had fun shooting them, Shawn looked over the pictures. Undoubtedly, his favorite was the one of only Jon and Audrey. An idea began to form in the back of his mind. He smiled and slid the photograph back into its envelope.

Alan was puttering around the house looking for something to do when the doorbell rang. He jogged down the stairs and into the living room.

He opened the front door and was greeted by an unhappy looking man about twice his size. The man appeared to be in his late forties with thinning salt and pepper hair that was parted a few inches above his right ear. His small eyes glared daggers at Alan. His nose was large and hooked and his jaw protruded out slightly as the result of an underbite. His ample, t- shirt clad gut hung over ill-fitting khaki shorts. Black socks were pulled staunchly up to his deeply tanned knees and worn sandals snugly clung to his large feet.

Alan had never seen the man before.

"Y-y-yes?" He asked expectantly, trying to keep the intimidation he felt out of his voice. "Can I help you?"

"You live here?" the man snarled. His breath reeked of cigarettes and his teeth were stained with the juice of chewing tobacco.

Was that a rhetorical question? Alan wondered to himself.

"Yes, I do," he replied. He briefly wondered if the guy could be a relative a Shawn's. He doubted it; none of Shawn's relatives ever tried to reached him when he wasn't living in the trailer park.

"Listen," the man exhaled heavily. "I'm Tony Kopowski. Me and my wife just moved in next door."

Alan raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. He vaguely recalled a moving van in the neighborhood earlier in the week. "Nice to meet you," he returned genially, trying to decide what to make of the hulking man before him. "I'm Alan Matthews."

Tony squinted at Alan's extended hand and ignored it.

"I want you to know that we don't appreciate you poisoning the squirrels!"

Alan stare flabbergasted at the man. "Wh-?" he sputtered.

"You heard me." Tony thrust a fat finger in Alan's face. "Muriel saw you burying those squirrels and she also found four dead ones in our yard. Whatever you're doin' to off 'em better stop!"

Tony was gone by the time a bewildered Alan was finally able to choke out, "Excuse me!"

It was nearly four-thirty in the afternoon and George had yet to get a hold of either Jonathan or Audrey. He was becoming concerned by both being unreachable. George stared absently at the stack of papers on his desk. He contemplated going next door and speaking with Alan Matthews. Perhaps Shawn was at the Matthews' and might at least know where his caretaker was. He decided against it however; had Shawn been over, he surely would have heard the boys rough-housing about.

George reached for the phone for the umpteenth time.

The phone rang several times before it was picked up.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end of the line sounded groggy and tired.

"Hello, Eli," George said merrily. "How are you this afternoon?"

Eli Williams muttered something unintelligible. "Fine," he said unenthusiastically.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Nah," he replied unpersuasively. "I like being woken up from a good dream."

"Well, then," the principal chirped. "I won't keep you from dreamland very long."

"Whatcha need, George?"

"I've been trying to get in touch with Miss Andrews without success. I thought Jonathan might know where she is, but I've been unable to reach him as well. I thought perhaps you might know where he was."

"Uh-h-h," There was a pause as Eli rubbed his eyes. He thought for a moment. "Yeah, um, Jon's with Audrey," he said finally, if not a little uncertainly. "Yeah, that's right. They took Hunter and Matthews somewhere. Amusement park, I think. I don't really know."

There was a short silence, before George spoke again. "I see." The bright tone in his voice had evaporated. "Well, thank you very much, Mr. Williams. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

Setting the phone down, George frowned in distress. He pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up. He needed to get out of the house and think. There were so many things not appropriate about this situation.

When he returned from his walk, George had very few answers to his questions. The one thing he was most concerned about was the upcoming trip to New York City. He did not think it was wise to allow them both to chaperone. Regretfully, Audrey was going to have to remain behind

Chapter Text

Morgan arrived home around six o'clock. Amy was busy fixing dinner when the little girl bounded in, chattering on about her day.

Amy listened as best she could while keeping an eye on the food cooking on the stove. Eric breezed through the kitchen on his way to pick up his date. He lifted Morgan above his head, swung her back down towards him, and kissed her forehead. Morgan continued talking throughout her brother's goodbye.

Eric hugged his mother, turning her back to the stove. Still holding onto her, he stuck his finger into the bowl of mashed potatoes that she had been preparing.

"Oh, Eric!" Amy cried, swatting his hand away. "Get out of here." She gave him a loving smack with a potholder.

Eric took off out of the back door with mashed potatoes smeared on his nose.

"Mommy," Morgan said suddenly, forgetting the rest of her story. "How long before dinner?"

"Oh, about half an hour. Why?"

"Can I go outside and play?"

Amy regarded her daughter. "All right, but stay out of Mr. Feeny's yard."

"Kay," she said, running for the door.

Outside, Morgan saw Cory's football. She seized the opportunity to play with it as her brother had forbidden her to touch it. With the ball tucked under one arm, Morgan pulled herself up the ladder to the tree house.

She settled herself inside and found a doll that she had been missing, buried under a blanket. The football was almost immediately forgotten. Before long, she heard a faint sound at the entrance to the house.

"Cory?" she called, thinking her brother might be home, even though he had told her that he wouldn't be back until after dark.

There was no response to her call, only more faint scratching sounds. Morgan shrugged and continued playing with her doll. Before long, she forgot all about the odd noises. She had just put her doll to bed when a little squirrel dropped in for a visit. It was a young squirrel with a narrow, reddish tail. It stood unmoving in the doorway. Morgan stared at him, hardly daring to breathe lest he be scared away. The creature's immense black eyes gazed about in a slow manner, not very squirrel-like at all. Finally, it lifted a paw and promptly fell over.

It was Nurse Morgan to the rescue.

A vague warning about not going near or touching injured animals came back to her. She ignored it; however, this squirrel needed her! Dumping her doll out of its bed, Morgan wrapped it around the animal and carefully picked it up. The creature did not move. Morgan gently molded the covering into a sort of bed. When she was satisfied with it, she decided to examine her patient.

With her hand sheathed in a corner of the blanket, she stroked the squirrel's head lightly. It didn't respond to her touch in the slightest. After several minutes of trying to awaken it, a dark realization struck Morgan. Understanding that the animal was not sleeping, she let out an eardrum-shattering scream before bursting into heart-broken sobs.

It was nearly ten 'o'clock that night when Cory was dropped off at his house. At first, Jon thought he might have to get Alan to help him carry the boys inside, as Audrey had difficulty rousing them from their slumber.

Only half-awake, Cory and Shawn, who was spending the night, stumbled sleepily into the house. Amy and Alan were both up to greet them. They spoke briefly to Jon and Audrey. Cory and Shawn fell asleep on their feet.

The ride over to Audrey's place was quite. Jon realized, with surprise, that this was the first time they had been alone outside of a school setting. Never before had he had trouble talking to her, but now he didn't know what to say.

Audrey was just as silent, lost in her daydreams. The quiet humming of the vehicle was making her drowsy. Her thoughts drifted past the excitement of the day and onto Jonathan.

He seemed lost in his own thoughts. Audrey wondered what they were. Her subconscious wanted to know if his thoughts ever had anything to do with her, but her waking mind kept such fancies stifled with logical reasons for the musings to be irrational. Still, the curiosity was there.

"You all right?"

Audrey looked at Jon, startled. She didn't realize that she had sighed aloud.

"Just a little tired, I guess," she said.

There was silence for the rest of the trip. With a twinge of regret, Jon pulled up to the curb in front of the little white house. Except for a small light in an upstairs window, the house was completely dark. They sat there, neither knowing quite how to end the evening. Awkward silence grew in the cab of the pickup.

"Hey, Aud-"

"I just wanna say-"

They both started to speak and were immediately quiet when they heard the other.

The silence returned.

Then Jon laughed.

Audrey relaxed and released her grip on the door handle. She smiled.

"I had a great time today," Audrey said quietly.

"Yeah?" Jon turned to look at her. Her face was shrouded in shadows, obscuring her expression. He was struck suddenly by how beautiful she looked in any light. "Good. I did, too."

There was more silence.

Audrey fidgeted with the seat belt. She knew what she wanted to say, but was too afraid.

Jon was in the same situation, though unlike Audrey, he had Feeny's voice ringing in his ears.

Audrey took a deep breath. Her mind was ready to say goodnight and get out of the truck. Her body prepared for the action, but her subconscious beat them both.

"Would you, maybe, want to come in for a while?"

In the dark, Jon couldn't see how wide Audrey's eyes got when she heard what had just flown out of her mouth. She swore her heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

Jon, for his part, was unsure if he had heard her properly, mainly because it seemed as though the voice of George Feeny was screaming at him not to accept. He could just imagine what the principal would do if her found out about this. The man had an uncanny ability to know everything. Thank God, he didn't know about today.

He waited for a few moments to see if she would retract the invitation, but she didn't.

He let out a breath.

Amy quietly slipped into Morgan's bedroom to tuck her in. Alan was already there, sitting on the edge of her bed and rubbing her back.

"Has she been asleep long?" Amy whispered.

Alan glanced up at her with a tired smile. "No, she just drifted off a little while ago."

"Poor baby," she cooed, putting her arms around Alan's shoulders.

After the trauma of witnessing the baby squirrel, BoBo she named it, die, Morgan was so distraught that she cried for literally hours mourning the animal's death. Even the funeral Amy and Alan helped her prepare for BoBo did not ease her grief. Morgan had carefully crafted a headstone with a piece of scrap wood her father had given her and permanent markers from her mother.

Amy could still see the path that Morgan's tears had stained on her fair cheeks in the dim glow of the nightlight. She sighed softly.

When Alan thought that Morgan was asleep enough not to wake up easily, he stood up. His daughter stirred, but did not open her eyes.

With their arms around each other's waists, Amy and Alan left the room. They made it to the doorway when they heard a small voice cry out.

"Daddy! Daddy, don't leave me. I don't want BoBo to be alone."

His daughter's distress, even her sleep, tugged at his heart, and the desire to protect her from any and all hurt was overwhelming. Alan returned to her side and gently scooped her up in his arms. He carried her over to Amy.

"Looks like we're going to have a guest in our room tonight," he told his wife.

Amy kissed Morgan's hair and stroked her cheek.

"That's quite all right."

Audrey's place was, for the most part, a wide-open area with no distinct boundaries between the kitchen, dining room, and living room. A butter cream shag carpet blanketed the floors of the upper living quarters, except for the kitchen, that had a pine wood floor.

The living area was sparsely furnished. A large white sofa took up most of the area along the north wall. A matching recliner faced it on the opposite side of the room. At the end of the sofa, on the east wall, was an entertainment center complete with a large screen TV, VCR, and stereo system. The cabinets of the center held various videotapes and CD's. In the center of the space sat a low-lying coffee table with a glass top. Several dance magazines were stacked neatly at one end.

The area that could have been used as a dining room was little more than open space. Across the expanse of carpet, old-fashioned French doors open onto a tiny balcony overlooking the backyard

The kitchen was separated from the rest of the house by a piece of furniture that was once used as a bar. The bar had shutters above its counter that closed and latched. When opened, the living room could be seen from the kitchen. The bar, like all of the cabinetry, was finished in pine.

Beyond the kitchen was a short, narrow hallway leading to a small bathroom, a small master bedroom, and an even smaller bedroom that was currently being utilized as storage.

The interior design that gave the place a distinct cosmopolitan flavor was on display throughout the whole house. Jon found the décor to be the most interesting thing about the house, other than the occupant herself.

On the north wall were framed posters for various Broadway and London shows ranging from Phantom of the Opera and Les Misérables to CATS and Godspell. Many of the posters were vintage originals. The entertainment center was home to other theatre memorabilia, including an extensive collection of Phantom of the Opera music boxes depicting various scenes from the musical.

The south wall near the French doors was a shrine to ballet. At the heart of the collection were several large Degas prints. There were also many framed pictures of ballet dancers, all of which were signed with personal notes to Audrey. It was obvious that they knew her well.

In a shadow box near the doors, was a pair of toe shoes. The sole of one of them was turned out so that it could be seen. George Balanchine had signed it in permanent marker.

Further down the wall was a small, upright piano. On the wall above the instrument, were more photos. These were all of the same dancer and all professionally done. It took Jon several seconds to realize that they were pictures of Audrey during the heyday of her dance career. Another set of pictures were setting of the top of the piano, caught Jon's attention. They were of another redhead, an older, but stunningly beautiful woman. He picked up one portrait of the woman. She had a brilliant smile that lit up her entire face. It was infectious; Jon couldn't help but smile back at her. Her nose might have been considered large on another face, but on hers, it somehow served to enhance her beauty. Her blue eyes were clear and shining; they radiated warmth and energy- a vibrant love for life. Her fiery red mane was cut short and covered her ears. Her bangs were cut straight across her forehead, just above her perfectly arched eyebrows.

After tearing his focus away from her face, Jon observed the rest of the photo. In the woman's arms was a little girl, no more than five, beaming at her in sheer adoration. The little girl looked so much like the woman that the woman could have been holding herself as a child.

"That's my mum."

Audrey had walked up behind Jon and was looking over his shoulder.

"She's beautiful," he murmured, setting the picture back down. "That you with her?"

"Mmhmm."

"You look just like her."

Audrey didn't say anything, but Jon could tell from the look on her face that she was pleased that he thought so. But there was sadness intertwined with the delight. Her eyes clouded up. Jon knew that her mother's death had been a blow that Audrey had never quite recovered from. Once she had told him, that she still cried herself to sleep at least once a week because she missed her mother. Then her eyes would light up as she told him about what her "mum" was like. He had heard so much about Elizabeth "Lizzy" Wells- Andrews that he felt he had known her, too. It even saddened him to think that she would never smile that dazzling grin again.

It was those times when Audrey spoke of her mother that made him want to call his own mother, who was still very much alive, knowing that he should be grateful to still have her around. He had done so for the first time nearly three months ago. His mother seemed surprised to hear from him and even more surprised that he had called only to say, "I love you."

"Audrey," he said as he followed her over to the couch. "You always talk about your mom, but what about your dad? Is he-" Jon paused, trying to think of the most tactful way of phrasing it, "still living?"

A pained expression crossed Audrey's face as she sat down, tucking one foot underneath her.

"I suppose you call it living," she sighed.

Jon settled down close to her, concerned. The look on her face and the sound of her voice did not sound optimistic.

"I don't know where to start," Audrey admitted, leaning her head back and staring at the ceiling.

"How about at the beginnin'?"

"The beginning?" Audrey looked at him intently. "I suppose the beginning, or maybe it was the ending, was after Mum died." She shifted into a more comfortable position. "Dad didn't cope well with Mum dying. He just...I don't know... fell apart. We had been really close before Mum got sick. I was Daddy's little princess, you know? But after, he wouldn't have anything to do with me. He wasn't interested in anything, not me not living." Her face darkened under the oppression of painful memories. "He ended up in the hospital after passing out at work from not eating. He was so depressed that a psychiatrist was brought in to see him. The doctor diagnosed him as being bipolar and he was put on medication. The meds didn't do anything but make him physically ill and gave him severe mood swings." Audrey laughed derisively. "Turns out he wasn't bipolar at all, just mourning his wife. I think it took about a year for a new doctor to be assigned to him and another eighteen months for the doctor's petition to the courts to let him be taken off the meds to go through."

Jon shook his head in disbelief. He wasn't prepared to hear something like this.

Audrey took a deep breath and continued. "After a year off the medication, he got better, but he was never the same. He was still distant around me, but at least he was working again. He was only a whisper of the person he had once been. About two years ago, he started being more affectionate and finally started talking about Mum again. About a year ago, he got sick suddenly one night with a raging fever. He was in the hospital for weeks, then months, but the doctors couldn't diagnose it. They thought it might be an immune system disorder, but they didn't have any clue what it was. Dad went through test after test and got sicker and sicker." Audrey paused, her breath caught in her throat. "Six months ago, Dad moved to the United Hospice of Rockland."

Jon sucked in his breath, and a wave a sympathy washed over him. The hospice was for the terminally ill.

"The doctors don't know how long he'll live." She sighed and slumped against the couch, as though it was physically exhausting for her to speak. "Could be years, could be minutes. I hate being away from him with a prognosis like that, but Dad wanted to see me become a teacher like Mum. So here I am, student teaching for him."

The only thing Jon could think to do was reach out to her. She gripped his hand as though her life depended on it. He pulled her over to him. She rested her head against his shoulder, staring at something he could not see. In time, Audrey turned her head and buried her face against his chest, little more than a child who ached for her parents.

It was in the wee hours of the morning that Jon arrived home, more than ready to go to sleep. The apartment was oddly quiet without Shawn- and depressingly empty. He yawned as he tossed his jacket onto the couch, vowing to hang it up later on.

After he had changed for bed, Jon found himself wandering around the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets for no real reason. Audrey was on his mind. Once she had regained her composure, she had spoken more freely about her ballet career, though she still avoided talking about her departure from Julliard. She was skillful at skirting the subject and outmaneuvering direct questions about it. But they had spent most of their time talking about home. It was amazing to discover that they had spent so much time in the same places, in the neighborhoods at the same time and yet never met. Their common interests expanded beyond the United States and into Europe. As it turned out, they had been in Rome at approximately the same time. Even freakier was that they had attended the same performance of Miss Saigon in London.

Absent-mindedly, Jon put a kettle of water onto boil though he had no intention of drinking any tea. No matter how hard he tried his thoughts kept drifting back to Audrey. There was no denying, as much as he would have like to, that he savored the time they had spent alone. Though they only talked, that in itself was oddly satisfying. He wished they had more opportunities like, though maybe not so late at night.

As he watched the steam rising from the kettle's silver spout, he toyed with the idea of asking Audrey out, though he knew that simply wasn't possible. As much as he hated to admit it, George was right about the age difference. Though it currently seemed to be a non-issue, what would happen if they got married? Thirteen, almost fourteen years, was quite a gap. Audrey would wake up one day to find herself tied down to an old man while she was still young. He couldn't do that to her. He sighed sadly. Audrey would only be a dream girl to him. She would be someone else's real girl.

Pushing the unpleasant thoughts to the back of his mind, Jon walked over to the answering machine to check his messages. There were three.

The first one was from Shawn, left much earlier in the day. Jon skipped it, not bothering to find out why Shawn had called himself from the theme park. The second was from Katherine and he was tempted to skip that one as well.

"Hi, Jonny. Look I know we were going to let things cool off for awhile...but." There was a tremble in her voice. "I just wanted to apologize for the other day...you know...I didn't mean any of those things I said. I'm really sorry.. Well, uh, see you Monday."

The message terminated with a beep. Last Saturday, he and Katherine had been out at the mall. They had already gotten into one of their regular disputes about marriage before leaving that day. He had been on edge since then and the final straw came when Katherine wanted to stop at a jewelry store and look at engagement rings; a not so subtle hint, once more pressing marriage on him. That's when he told her that he needed some space. Realizing, that she had pushed too hard, Katherine agreed to back off. They hadn't spoke, except for formalities at school, in a week.

Maybe I'll give her a call tomorrow, Jon thought as the machine played the third message.

"Jonathan, this George Feeny. I need to speak you as soon as possible. I've been made aware of a situation that needs immediate attention. Tomorrow. I'm expecting your call."

Jon swallowed, but found his mouth had gone dry. He had the cold, sinking sensation that George knew all about his time with Audrey.

Since there was nothing that he could about Feeny's message at the moment, he poured the water out of the kettle and turned off the light, before heading to bed.

He lay in bed trying to sleep, but to no avail. Something was troubling him. Something that he had temporarily forgotten. While he was helping Audrey put away some dishes they had used in the kitchen, he had caught a glimpse of some papers on her refrigerator. One paper was a small white square of professional letterhead. Scribbled down in a hasty fashion was an appointment time for Audrey with a Dr. Charlotte Amsden. Taped to this was a business card for Dr. Amsden- a psychoanalyst. The message below the card read:

Audrey,

Don't you dare skip another session. I don't care what you're doing, drop it. Or else I'll have the state commit you.

-Dr. Amsden

P.S. I'm kidding about having you committed. For now.

Dawn broke over the horizon. Narrow shafts of light tried to find their way in through the shuttered blinds and into the black room of a tormented soul. Inner demons battled each other, fighting for control over her mind and body; some battled to suppress her spirit and choke it out. The cycle that had once been broken began again. She fled the room for the sanctity of another; one which seemed to quell the war for a time. After giving those holding her spirit captive what they wanted, she leaned her head against the cool, white porcelain lid of the toilet.

Somewhere a music box played.

"Masquerade, shadows breathing lies...Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you..."

Chapter Text

"We'd rather not know the price Cinderella paid for her night at the Ball." -Pretty Girls in Little Boxes

Shawn flipped mindlessly through the television channels trying to find something that looked remotely interesting. It was Sunday afternoon and there was nothing to do, thanks in part to the downpour that the clouds unleashed hours earlier.

Shawn was home alone at the moment. Jon had some mysterious meeting with Mr. Feeny that morning and hadn't yet returned. Audrey wouldn't be over until two.

After finally settling on a Batman cartoon he had seen a dozen times already, Shawn stretched out on the couch. With a bang the apartment door swung open and connected with the wall. Shawn sat up just as Jon stormed in. He gave the door a hard slam shut and disappeared into his bedroom.

For a moment Shawn just sat there with a surprised look on his face. Rarely had he seen Jon so upset. Something had seriously gotten under his friend's skin. Of course, had it been him, Shawn wouldn't have been too happy to have to meet with Feeny on the weekend, but he knew that wasn't Jon's problem.

Shawn debated on whether or not to question Jon now or wait. He decided on the latter and gave his guardian a chance to cool off.

Fifteen minutes later, Jon reappeared, calmer, but still visibly agitated. Shawn gave him a questioning look, but Jon had busied himself in the kitchen and didn't see it. Shawn wandered into the kitchen and leaned against the island in the center of the space where Jon was viciously mincing a tomato.

"I think it's dead already, Jon," Shawn pointed out, testing his teacher's mood.

"Huh?" Jon stopped what he was doing long enough to glance up. "Oh, hey, Shawn. When'd you get in?"

Shawn raised his eyebrows. "A while ago," he shrugged. "What's up? How'd the meeting with Feeny go?" He saw Jon tense immediately and clench his jaw.

"Fine," he muttered and returned to reducing the vegetable to a pulp.

"That great, huh?"

Jon said nothing.

"C'mon, Jon. What happened?"

"I don't want to discuss it."

Shawn tapped his fingers against the counter top. He furrowed his brow in concentration.

"That meeting wasn't about Audrey was it?" he asked worriedly. He vaguely recalled Jon being worried that Feeny might have found out about them spending so time with Audrey outside of school. Shawn knew that it would be trouble if that happened, though he wasn't sure why.

Jon put down the paring knife. He looked at Shawn for a moment.

"Yeah, it was," he said shortly. He picked the knife up again. Shawn waited for him to go on, but he offered no details.

"Soooo? Jon, you've got to tell me what he said!"

"George doesn't think that Audrey should go on the New York trip."

An indignant "what?" escaped from Shawn's lips.

"That's right," Jon confirmed. The knife came down on the last quarter of the remaining tomato.

"He can't do that!" the boy exploded, jumping back from the island. "No! That's just wrong!"

Jon shrugged indifferently. "He's the principal. He can do what he wants."

"But why?" Shawn paced the living room. "Why would he do that? Jon, you've got to do something!"

Jon started to say something, but was cut short by Audrey walking in.

Immediately, Audrey sensed that something was wrong. Shawn stared at her and Jon didn't look up from what he was doing.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Shawn flopped disgruntledly on the couch with his arms folded across his chest.

Audrey dropped her purse by the door, then walked into the kitchen.

"Jon?" she said, looking at him in expectation. "What happened?"

Jon looked at her for a long moment as though he was trying to figure out the best way to deliver some horrible news.

Audrey glanced at Shawn briefly, wondering if they had gotten into an argument.

"I had a meeting with Mr. Feeny this morning."

Audrey looked alarmed. "On a Sunday?"

Jon nodded. He had quit on the tomato and instead leaned on his elbows against the counter with his hands clasped in front of him.

"He tried calling you all day yesterday," he began.

Audrey raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Guess I should've invested in an answering machine," she murmured. "If he was trying to reach me, why call you in?"

Jon sighed. "Tomorrow your NYCU faculty advisor is coming to town for a convention and wants to have a conference with you, me and George about the progress of your internship."

Audrey frowned. "That doesn't sound so bad. That's normal. I don't get what the big deal is."

"There's more to it," Jon replied. "He wanted to go over some stuff with you yesterday concerning the conference, but when he couldn't get a hold of either you or me, he called Eli."

Color drained from Audrey's cheeks.

"Oh, no."

"Oh, yeah," Jon grimaced. "He found where we were and is, consequently, taking you off the New York trip."

"What?" Audrey's jaw dropped. The same indignant expression Shawn had earlier came over Audrey's features.

"He can't do that," Shawn complained, coming up behind Audrey.

"He's taking me off the trip for what?" Audrey wanted to know. Her eyes flared angrily. "For going to New Jersey on my own time? It's not like that had anything to with my performance in class."

"So he really can't do that, can he?" Shawn demanded, as though Jon could do something about the situation and simply wasn't.

Jon straightened up. "Look, I'm not exactly happy about this either, Shawn. But what can I do?"

Audrey chewed her bottom lip in anger. "Did he give a reason why?"

Jon rolled his eyes. "Apparently, taking Shawn in was a violation of protocol. Befriending my student-teacher was blurring the line of decency, and spending the day at a theme park with my student teacher and a couple of students with parental permission is stepping way out of bounds. I don't know!" He through his hands up in disgust. "He grilled me like I'd shot someone. I swear I can't do anything right!"

Shawn glared at the sink. "What's his problem anyway?"

"He thinks there's something going on between Audrey and me," Jon informed him. He grabbed a dish towel and started to clean up the tomato mess.

"That's none of his business," Audrey spat.

Shawn continued sending the sink death glares. He was upset that Feeny seemed to be trying to break his friends up before they had a chance to get together. He just knew that Jon and Audrey belonged together just like, well, Cory and Topanga. By taking Audrey off the trip, he felt like the principal was personally attacking him. He knew that Feeny hadn't been overly pleased that Jon was taking care of him. Why, he didn't know. Now it seemed like he was trying to keep Audrey away from him. To stop him from having a real family, until his dad returned with his mom Again, and he couldn't understand why.

"I'm not going to New York without Audrey," he told Jon pointedly.

Jon sighed again, feeling as though he was responsible for this entire mess. He had known that being with Audrey so much would lead to trouble. He should have put a stop to it in the beginning. Maybe it wasn't too late to do what he should have done a long time ago...

"Don't worry, love," Audrey reached over and smoothed back the hair that had fallen into the boy's eyes. "I'm going. You'll see."

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"This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen," Alan said. "Well, second most bizarre. The junk Cory and Shawn dreamed up was the first."

"Yes, well, the death of so many squirrels is quite strange," Mr. Feeny replied. He was standing in the Matthew's kitchen discussing the sudden spike in squirrel fatalities.

"Though not as strange as our newest neighbors," Amy said, closing the back door behind her.

Alan smiled bemusedly. "So you met Tony, huh?"

"No, actually I met Muriel. She's very odd." Amy's face was marred with confusion. She didn't know quite what to make of Muriel Koposki. "Apparently, she thinks that you're poisoning the squirrels."

Alan shrugged. "So does her husband."

"Are you having a dead squirrel problem too, George?" Amy greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes, unfortunately," George smiled.

Alan leaned over to get a kiss from Amy as she came by. She walked on past him.

"I'm really worried about what's causing this," Amy said, with a frown. "What if it affects the kids?"

"Well," Alan told her, "Animal Control's been called. They're going to be out tomorrow afternoon to see if they can come up with an answer."

George pinched his brow together, deep in thought.

"Speaking of the children," he said slowly as though he were still digesting some information. "I know it's not likely...but I can't help wondering if..."

"Cory and Shawn are somehow involved in this?" Alan finished with a small smile.

George nodded.

"Yeah, we thought that too," he said, leaning against the kitchen table. "But we ruled them out since they spend most of their time at Jonathan's place."

This tidbit of information piqued George's curiosity.

"Really?" he said trying to maintain an air of indifference concerning the boy's free time.

Amy smiled as she folded a hand towel and placed it near the sink.

"Yeah," she said, "they've been spending quite a bit of time with Jonathan and Audrey."

Struggling to keep his expression emotionless, George regarded Amy steadily.

"With whom did you say?"

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Chubby's was packed with young people. The jukebox was blaring as loud as possible. Cory wove his way through the crowded while skillfully carrying a tray full of food. He spotted Topanga's long mane and zeroed in on it. Moments later, he presented the tray to her.

"Oh, thanks, Cory," she said taking her soda and returning to her conversation with Allora Lohan.

Allora Lohan was one of the most popular girls in the sophomore class and, more importantly, one of Topanga's best girl friends. In fact, she was close friends with Cory and Shawn as well. Her dark blond hair was long, though not quite as long as Topanga's. It fell to her waist like tangible strands of light, glimmering and glistening in the light. Her hazel green eyes sparkled with interest as she conversed with Topanga. Her smile was endearing and appeared often.

As Cory watched the girls talk, he quietly admired how Allora was as good as she was beautiful- just one of the many things she and Topanga had in common. The only thing that would make this double-date perfect would be if Shawn had been Allora's date instead Alex Jennings, a guy with whom he had nothing in common with. Cory found it impossible to carry on a conversation with him and wasn't sure if Alex was capable of such a remedial task; the only word Cory had ever heard him utter was "hey".

Of course, there wasn't much of a need for talking when you were eating, so Cory proceeded to stuff his mouth with hamburger.

After they finished their dinner, Cory, Topanga, and Allora got lost in talk about the sophomore trip to New York and Audrey. They weren't even aware that Alex had wandered off and failed to come back.

It was almost thirty minutes after they hadn't eaten that Allora suddenly sat up.

"Oh, my!" she exclaimed as though she had forgotten an important appointment. "I'll be right back."

Cory and Topanga exchanged perplexed looks. Cory shrugged, but Topanga worriedly twisted a lock of hair around her finger.

When Allora finally came back, Topanga immediately jumped on her with rapid- fire questions.

Allora held up her hands to stop the on-slaught.

"Whoa, Topanga!" she cried in surprise. "I just went to the bathroom. That soda really went through me."

Topanga narrowed her eyes. She picked up her friend's cup which was still full. "You've barely touched this."

"So?" Allora eyed her quizzically, if not defensively. "What's wrong with you, Tippy? Why the third-degree?"

Topanga sat quietly for a moment, contemplating her next words. "There's something going on with you, Lora," she replied softly. There was a twinge of sadness in her voice. "Something you're not telling me."

Allora bit her lip, then reached across the table and squeezed Topanga's hand. "Hey, I'm fine, girl." Topanga looked up at her and she smiled. "Really."

Topanga nodded, but Cory could tell that she wasn't reassured.

As Cory walked Topanga home later that evening, she was distance and silent.

"Everything okay?" he asked with concern.

Topanga stopped and looked up him with large, tearful eyes.

"I'm worried about Allora."

Cory frowned. "How come? She seemed fine to me."

Topanga nodded. "But you're not around her as much as I am. Cory, there's something really wrong."

Cory guided her up the steps to her front porch and motioned for her to sit with him on the op one.

"Why do you think there's something wrong?"

Topanga sighed and clasped her hands around her knees. "There's so much- so many little things. I don't know where to begin."

Cory pulled her long hair back from her face. "It's okay. Just pick something and go from there."

"About two months ago," she began. "I noticed that she stopped eating normally. You know, when we'd hang out, she wouldn't order anything but a diet soda and tell us she had already eaten. I didn't think anything about it at first, but then it started happening all the time." Topanga paused to collect her thoughts. "Then she started where really baggy clothes all of the sudden. And you know how she always wore the trendiest clothes before."

Cory nodded at this. "Yeah," he said thoughtfully. "I kinda wondered about that. Then I figured it was just a girl thing."

Topanga shook her head. "It's not. About the time she started wearing those clothes, she started eating with us again. But not like she use to. I mean, Allora's always been careful about what she's eaten, but never overly so. Now she's been eating insane amounts of food all in one sitting. And then she always disappears into a bathroom half an hour after she eats. And she's been losing do much weight, too."

Topanga turned suddenly and clutched Cory's hand. "Cory, I'm scared that she might be bulimic!"

"Whoa..." Cory sucked in his breath. "Topanga, are you sure?"

Topanga's shoulders sagged. "No, I'm not," she said morosely. "I'm only familiar with what our psychology book lists as symptoms of an eating disorder and I don't know that any of those symptoms apply to her."

Cory could see the despair in her eyes. He put his arms around her and hugged her close. He understood how it felt to want to help your best friend in the whole world, but not knowing exactly what the problem was or if you could do anything about it.

"Have you tried talking to her about it," he asked.

"Yes," was the muffled response as Topanga lifted her head. "But she won't talk to me. She just says she's fine and that I worry too much. Am I reading too much into this, Cory? Should I leave her alone?"

Cory regarded her for a minute. Topanga was a caring and passionate person and though sometimes she did jump to conclusion and was wrong about them- her intentions were good.

"No," he said. "It would be better for you to be wrong and say something to her, than to be right and say nothing."

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Monday morning brought with it added stress. Jon hadn't seen Audrey yet that morning and was dreading conference that was minutes away.

With ten minutes until seven, Jon headed to Feeny's office and was dismayed to find that Audrey was not yet there.

"Jonathan," the principal looked up briefly from his notes and motioned for the young man to sit down.

"George," he returned apprehensively. The office suddenly seemed too small. Jon shifted uncomfortably.

After what seemed like an eternity, Audrey walked in with a smile followed a man in his mid-fifties wearing a crisp steel gray blazer and slacks and white button-down shirt.

Mr. Feeny pushed his chair back and stood up. Jon followed suit.

"Ah," George smiled as he shook hands with the NYCU professor. "Alexander Kessington, this is Jonathan Turner."

Alexander's smile widened. "Good to finally meet you, young fellow," he said in precise British accent. His brown eyes sparkled as he winked at Jon. "Our Audrey has spoken so highly of you."

"And you, too," Jon returned, relaxing slightly as he shook the older gentleman's hand.

As they took their seats with Dr. Kessington strategically positioned between the young people, Audrey caught Jon's eye and gave him secretive smile.

Dr. Kessington was a jovial man who obviously held Audrey in high regard. He, as it turned out, had attended college with her mother and was thrilled to be overseeing Lizzy's daughter. George couldn't help but wonder if the man wasn't unduly prejudice towards the girl. Nevertheless, George couldn't do anything but agree with Dr. Kessington's assessments of Audrey's ability and performance.

The meeting took little time to complete and soon the four were discussing school in general. To George's surprise, the professor began to directly inquire about the sophomore class and what field trips they were scheduled to take. George had no choice but to tell him about the New York City trip.

"Oh, marvelous," the doctor gushed. "It will be fabulous to have Audrey back in town."

Jon gave Feeny a curious look. How was he going to explain the fact that Audrey wasn't going?

George straightened his tie and cleared his throat before answering. "Miss Andrews isn't going," he said shortly.

Dr. Kessington laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, George. Of course she's going. Who else knows the city better, other than Jonathan? You need them both there." The merriment in his voice dissipated as he added. "I except to see her there," he said. "There's no reason that she shouldn't go. She has proven herself to be responsible and capable. Besides, there are meeting that she is required to attend that weekend at the school."

Feeny knew he was cornered, he just wasn't sure how it happened.

"Well," he said clearing his throat once again. "You're right of course. Well, Miss Andrews, it looks as though you'll be going to New York after all."

Jon tried to suppress his surprise. He glanced at Audrey, who was smiling coolly. She wasn't a bit surprised by Feeny's change of heart.

After the conference was dismissed, Dr. Kessington shook hands with Jonathan and told him that he expected him to drop by the campus while he was in New York. He turned to Audrey and kissed the top of her head.

"Do be a sweet girl and at least give an old man a ring while you're in town."

Audrey grinned. "Of course."

After the doctor bid farewell, Jon took Audrey by the arm as they walked down the hall.

"Boy, is it a good thing you have those meetings at the University to go to, otherwise, there's no way George would have let you go on the trip."

Audrey gave him a funny look. "What meetings?"

Jon stopped walking. "The meetings Dr. Kessington referred to."

Audrey shrugged innocently. "There are no meetings that weekend."

Jon stared at her, trying to make sense of things.

"Hey!" Shawn jogged over to them, with Cory in tow. He looked hopefully at Audrey. "How'd it go with Feeny?"

Audrey gave him a smug look. "I'm going, naturally," she winked.

"All right!" Shawn pumped his fist in the air. Cory shared in his friends happiness though he wasn't sure why Shawn was so happy; he didn't know that Feeny had taken her off the trip.

Audrey looked over Shawn's head at Jon. "Didn't I tell you that Dr. Kessington was an old friend of my mum's?"

Jon blinked. "Yeah, so?"

"I told him what happened and he said he'd take care of it."

Jon shook his head and smiled. "So no meetings that weekend, huh?"

Audrey grinned triumphantly. "No meetings."

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"So," Cory leaned against the lockers waiting for Topanga to get her things. "Did you talk to her yet?"

Topanga shook her head, sending a cascade of bangs into her face. "Not yet," she replied running her hand through her hair and securing a lock behind her ear. "I'm going to catch her on the way to third period."

"Okay," Cory gave her kiss. "Then I'll walk with Shawn, you two can talk in private."

Topanga regarded him fondly. "You're so sweet. I'll see you at lunch."

Cory smiled and went off to find Shawn.

Topanga spotted Allora at her locker and ran over to catch her.

"Hey, Tippy!" Allora greeted her friend enthusiastically.

"Hey, yourself." Topanga couldn't help but notice that Allora was back wearing more fitted clothing or that she looked so frail.

Moments after they had exchanged greetings, the girls were surrounded by a group of other girls from their grade.

"Wow, Allora," a tall, gorgeous brunette named Annie exclaimed. "Look at you! You're so thin!"

"Yeah," Lauren echoed. "You must have lost ten pounds at least! Just last month that sweater was so snug on you. And now look! It's just hanging on you."

Topanga suddenly became quiet and withdrew a bit from the girls. Intently, she watched Allora's reaction to their comments.

Allora beamed. "Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you stick to a strict diet and exercise like crazy."

"Well, whatever you're doing, girl, don't stop," Annie laughed. "A few more pounds and you'll be perfect!"

Topanga saw Allora visibly pale.

"W-what do you mean a few more pounds?" Allora caught a lock of hair and nervously twisted in her thin hands.

"Oh," Annie smirked condescendingly. "Another five pounds and you'll be rid of that baby fat. Then it's top of the pyramid for you."

Several of the other girls echoed her sentiment. When they left they seemed to have taken Allora's spirit and cheerful mood with them. The girl slumped against the lockers looking absolutely defeated.

Topanga slid over to her and put her arms around her friend.

"Don't listen to them," she said firmly. "They don't know what they're talking about. They're just stupid, superficial ditzes."

Allora nodded but there was a far away look in her eyes.

"Hey, Topanga," she said straightening up and smoothing out her skirt. She broke free of Topanga's embrace. "I've got to go to the bathroom. We'll talk about whatever you wanted talk about at lunch, 'kay?"

"Okay," Topanga said to Allora's retreating back. She stood there alone, wondering what to do.

Jon passed Topanga in the hall on his way to his class. The look on her face made him stop; she looked lost.

"Hey, Topanga, you okay?"

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. Her eyes effectively conveyed the misery she felt.

"Mr. Turner, what do you do when you think a friend is in serious trouble but you don't know for sure if they are?"

Jon studied her for a moment. It couldn't give her much of an answer with such vague information.

"What kind of serious trouble?"

Topanga half-shrugged. "The kind that doesn't hurt anyone else but them."

"I don't know, Topanga," he admitted. "But if you think your friend is in real trouble, them sometimes the best thing to do is tell someone; an adult who can intervene."

Topanga nodded, staring in the direction that Allora had disappeared in. "Thanks, Mr. Turner."

Jon was about to leave when he thought better of it.

"I'm always available if you want to talk," he said. After pause he added, "And if you don't think you can talk to me, then you can always talk to Miss Andrews."

This got the girl's attention. There was a glimmer of hope in her sad eyes.

"Thanks. I may just do that, Mr. Turner."

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The day was a cause for celebration as far as Shawn was concerned and Jon agreed with him. And to celebrate, Jon decided that they should go out to eat and toast to Audrey's being put back on the New York trip. Audrey agreed, so long as they didn't go to Hannigan's.

Shawn was in seventh heaven. It was just Jon, Audrey, and him.

As it should be, he thought, watching his friends in the front seat talk.

Somewhere deep down inside, guilt tugged at him. It told him that he had no right to be so content when his father was out there somewhere searching for his mother, who obviously didn't want to be found. Chet Hunter still hadn't called his son.

Shawn stared out the window. He just didn't understand what he had done to drive his parents away. Was he really so unlovable that this cross-country chase his dad was on just an excuse to get away from him? There was no one, it seemed, who could answer any of his questions.

His attention returned to Jon and Audrey. He entertained the idea of them getting married and adopting him. It wouldn't be the same as being with his real parents- it'd be more like living with a favorite aunt and uncle, but at least he would know that they wouldn't take off on him. Of course, that would never happen anyway. His being adopted anyway. But Jon and Audrey getting together wasn't so bizarre.

Please, he prayed silently, gazing at the twilight horizon. Please, let my dad call me. Just once. So I know he still loves me.

Shawn felt a hand on his knee. Audrey was watching him intently.

"He'll call, Shawn," she said softly. "He will. You just wait and see."

Shawn gave her a weak smile.

"I hope."

Audrey let go of his knee. She held up her hand, palm facing him with her index finger, pinkie, and thumb extended and the middle two fingers tucked down.

Shawn smiled at the sign language. He mirrored her sign.

"I love you, too," he smiled.

Chapter Text

"Yes, yes, I see," Alan said. He was sitting at the kitchen table on the telephone when Amy walked into the kitchen. "Well, thank you very much for calling. All right, I will. Good-bye."

"Who was that?" Amy asked sitting down at the table with him.

Alan gave her an amused smiled. "That was Animal Control," he replied. He looked up when he heard feet thundering down the stairs.

"Hey, just the guy I wanted to see," he cried when Cory bounded into the kitchen.

"Hey, Dad," he returned, heading for the door. "The guy you wanted to see is on his way to the girl he wants to see."

"Oh, she'll wait," Alan said waving him over. "Have a seat."

Reluctantly, Cory obeyed.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm in trouble?" he asked laying his head on the table. He saw his afternoon with Topanga flash before his eyes.

"I just got off the phone with Animal Control." Alan folded his hands in front of him.

Cory perked up. That couldn't possibly be directly related to him.

"It seems that they found out what was killing the squirrels."

"Well, that's great," Cory agreed jovially as he inched towards the edge of his seat. "'Cause it was just awful that the little guys were dropping like flies."

"Sit!" His dad pointed to the chair. Cory sat back down.

"What's killing them seems to be comprised of the same stuff that you and Shawn tried to pawn off on your classmates."

Cory's eyes widened. "How's that possible?" he wondered. "That was weeks ago. Why didn't they die sooner?"

"Don't know that, son," Alan said.

"So how long am I grounded for?" Cory sighed in resignation.

"You're not. But pass along this information to Shawn. And don't you two ever do something like that again."

Cory signed, this time with relief. He was going to see Topanga after all.

"Yes, sir."
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A few weeks later, Topanga found herself sitting alone...sort of. Instead of sitting with the girls, she was sitting with Cory and Shawn at lunch. It had been like that for over three weeks.

Allora wasn't speaking to her. Topanga finally had the opportunity and nerve to talk to Allora about a potential eating disorder, but it had gone poorly. Allora had exploded when Topanga urged her to seek help. She had called her horrible names and said that Topanga was jealous of her and wanted nothing more than to see her fat and hideous. No matter how Topanga had tried to convince her that this wasn't true; that she was just concerned, Allora would hear none of it. In a fury, Allora had stormed off and refused to even look at her former best friend much less talk to her. Topanga hadn't been able to wait until the end of the day to break down. In the middle of English, she had burst into tears. Since Miss Andrews had been teaching, it was Mr. Turner who had taken her out of class and tried to comfort her. As much as she wanted to, she hadn't been able to tell him what had happened. Instead, she cried on his shoulder. Eventually, he sent her the nurse's office for the rest of the period.

Now, Topanga's gaze wandered sadly over to the table where Allora sat, giggling and talking with the "popular" and "beautiful" girls. At one point, Allora looked up and their gazes locked for an instant. Topanga thought that she saw a hint of sadness in her friend's eyes. If there was, it was quickly extinguished by self-importance.

The gulf between them hurt Topanga greatly. When Allora went to the US National Gymnastics competition, Topanga had not been invited along. Annie and Lauren went in her place. Nor had she been invited to any local meets. She still went, sat alone, and quietly cheered her friend on, always leaving before Allora could see her.

Topanga sighed. She looked down at her sandwich. It was a watery blur.

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"Two weeks, Jon," Audrey sang as she swept into the classroom after school. "Just two weeks until we go home."

He smiled as she danced about the room, her feet barely touched the floor, it seemed. He caught her in his arms as she came by and spun her around. Audrey laughed and hugged him close. She pulled back a bit and saw him smiling at her. For an instant, time was suspended. Her pulse quickened and her mouth went dry. It was so strange the way he was staring at her.

Shawn stopped dead in the doorway to the room and forgot about the books he had come to retrieve. He glanced around behind him to make sure no one was coming. There was no way he was going to let anyone bother them. Quietly, he stood there. He pursed his lips together in a thin line. His heart was racing. Unconsciously, he clenched his jaw. The suspense was agonizing.

Come on, he silently willed Jon. Do something. Before it's too late...!

But the moment was lost. Audrey's cheeks flared crimson and she ducked her head. Jon seemed startled and let his hands drop away from her. After an awkward interlude, they busied themselves with straightening the room. Shawn sighed in disappointment and gave the doorframe a hard kick.

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Topanga was changing out of her PE uniform the next day when Allora came in and opened the locker next to Topanga's. As she untied her shoes, Topanga kept glancing at Allora, desperately wanting to talk to her, but afraid of making things worse. Standing nearby, Allora was stealing glances at her ex-best friend as well. The girls fiddled with their locks nervously, each wanting to speak to the other. Finally, Allora slammed her lock against the locker.

"This is stupid, Tippy."

Topanga looked at her in surprise.

Allora seemed frustrated, almost angry.

"I mean," she said flinging a hand in Topanga's direction. "You're my best friend in the whole world and here we are not talking and avoiding each other. This is stupid!"

Topanga was filled with relief. She grinned. "I agree. Let's just forget the whole thing!"

Allora seemed relieved, too. "Let's do." She grabbed Topanga's arm. "Kindred spirits aren't mean to argue anyway."

"Hey, Lora," Topanga said as they headed for the door. "Shouldn't we finish changing?"

Allora looked down at herself. She was barefoot and still in her PE outfit. She giggled.

"That'd be a good idea."

Allora was brushing her hair out when Lauren, Annie, and their following walked in. They swarmed around Allora, pushing Topanga to the outer fringe of the circle.

"Man, girl," Annie squealed. "You are hot! I think you may be thinner than me!"

Allora basked in the praise they showered on her.

"How do you do it?" one of the other girls pleaded. "You must not be able to eat anything."

"On the contrary," Allora replied somewhat smugly. "I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, however much I want."

She sauntered over to Topanga and linked her arm through hers.

"What?" The other girls flocked around them, all wanting to know Allora's secret.

"Yep," Allora said, fully enjoying all the attention. "After I eat I just take some laxatives and it all flushes out."

This garnered an awe-filled "oooo" from the crowd. Allora boasted about her abnormal eating a bit longer before dragging Topanga out of the locker room.

Once outside, Topanga jerked away from her.

Allora turned in surprise. "Tippy? What's wrong?"

"Don't call me Tippy like everything's fine and dandy," Topanga cried. All her frustration and concern for her friend boiled over in anger and despair. "How can you do this? Don't you know that what you're doing can kill you!"

"What are you talking about?" Allora spat coldly. Her face was more chilling than the Snow Queen's.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Topanga was almost screaming at Allora. Her emotions had been thrown into chaos because she didn't how to break through Allora's wall of indifference.

"You're bulimic! You gorge yourself and then throw up! Why? Allora, why!"

Allora glared her and slowly shook her head. "What do you know, huh? What do you know about what I'm going through?" Her voice had a bitter edge to it. "I'm doing what I have to do. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm fine." Allora's eyes narrowed to slits. "Do you know what you are, Topanga Lawrence? You're jealous. You know I'm the best gymnast in the state. The best in the nation. And who are you? You're nobody! Well, I'm not about to let a nobody like you stop me from being the best gymnast in the world."

With that Allora stormed off without looking back. Topanga was rooted to the ground. She pressed her hand against her cheek as though she had been slapped. In fact, being slapped would not have hurt as much as Allora's words.

Tears slipped down her cheeks and soaked the collar of her coat.

Two days later, Topanga was on her way to talk to Audrey about Allora when she heard the news. Allora had collapsed her Media Arts class. She was in the nurse's office for the time being.

Topanga felt sick, so sick that she had to run to the bathroom. She crouched in front of a toilet, dry heaving into the bowl. Tears fell swiftly and splashed into the water. It was her fault that Allora was so sick...she should have told someone.

There was a knock on the stall door, but Topanga had no strength to speak.

Slowly the door creaked open. Audrey's eyes widened in surprise to see Topanga huddled on the floor.

"Topanga!" she cried in horror. "What's wrong?"

Audrey fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around the girl. Topanga leaned against her, trembling. Once in awhile she shuddered.

"Sshh," Audrey cooed stroking Topanga's golden tresses. "It's going to be all right."

"No, it's not!" the girl sobbed. "It's all my fault! It's all my fault that she's in the hospital. It's all my fault."

"What?" Audrey pulled Topanga's chin up with her finger so that she could her eyes. "Are you talking about Allora?"

Topanga nodded miserably.

"Oh, sweetheart, that's wasn't your fault. How could you think that?"

The heartache and guilt was almost more than Topanga could bear.

"Because I didn't tell anyone that she had an eating disorder!"

Topanga buried her face in Audrey's shoulder. Audrey felt like a block of ice had been dropped into her stomach.

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Allora sat in her homeroom and stared at the floor. Miss Andrews had requested to see her after school. She had a sick feeling that it had something to do with the incident in Mr. Williams' class. Everyone, it seemed, had interrogated her. Her doctor, however, was convinced that it was merely exhaustion due to her hectic training schedule in addition to school and social life. He prescribed a few days' rest and nothing more.

If her collapse was what Miss Andrews wanted to discuss with her- it couldn't be about her schoolwork; she had a 3.947 GPA, third in class behind Topanga and Stewart Minkus- she didn't see how it was possible to disclose the real reason with someone as beautiful as Audrey. Allora was too afraid to tell Miss Andrews the truth; to tell her what she had been doing. She had a hero-worship complex when it came to the student teacher. Allora and every last one of the popular girls wanted to be what Audrey was: gorgeous with a beautiful, thin figure; talented- so talented that she could walk away from the American Ballet Company and return whenever she wished; popular- not the fickle popularity of high school- but a lasting one, everyone loved her; and she had the devotion of the high school's coolest teacher. But Allora loved her for more reasons than the "in crowd" girls did. She felt indebted to Audrey for inadvertently skyrocketing her to instant fame amongst her peers. Weeks earlier, after she had given a book report in class, Audrey had told Allora that she reminded her of herself when she was in high school. The other girls, save for Topanga, had been supremely jealous that Allora had been crowned with such a compliment. Since then, Allora had tried to show Audrey how much like her she was. She was convinced that Audrey, the perfect person that she believed her to be, would never understand the problem Allora had. If she knew the truth, Allora feared that Audrey see her for what she was: an imperfect, unsuccessful, ugly mess. Allora squirmed in her chair, twisting the hem of her skirt into a bunch. Sweat began to bead up on her temples like the condensation on a cold glass of soda. Her tongue stuck the roof of her mouth when she tried to swallow. Her heart pounded rapidly; it sounded so loud that Allora couldn't hear the greeting Audrey gave her when she walked into the room.

Audrey smiled at her fondly. She pulled a chair over to Allora and sat in front of her. The sheer terror on the girl's delicate features transported Audrey three years into the past. She saw herself, not much older than Allora, sitting in Cooper's office after a dance class, dreading the talk that she knew was coming.

Allora felt caught between that proverbial rock and a hard place as she contemplated her options. She could either tell Audrey the truth and pray that she would not look down on her or she could lie like there was no tomorrow. Staring at Audrey in her fitted, striped blouse and slender black slacks, she knew she could never let Audrey, of all people, find out her secret.

"Lora," Audrey began. "How are you feeling?"

Allora gave her brightest smile. "So much better, Miss Andrews. Dr. Loresen was right about me needing a few days of rest. I feel a million times better."

"Good," Audrey smiled satisfactorily. "I was really worried about you when Mr. Turner told me what happened. You gave us a bit of a fright."

"You were worried about me?" A deliciously warm feeling swathed Allora. She felt extraordinary.

Audrey winked at her and crossed one leg over the other. "Are you kidding? Of course, I was, angel. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you!"

Allora blushed and let her hair fall in her face like she had seen Audrey do before. When she looked back up, she was startled to see her idol staring so hard at her.

"Allora, what's going on?"

Allora gave her a confused looked. "I don't know what you mean," she answered innocently. Her heart pounded in her chest as each lie took her deeper into a black hole. "There's nothing going on... now."

"Then why did you pass out in Mr. Williams' class?"

Allora felt her throat constrict and she wasn't sure if she would be able to speak. "Dr. Loresen said I was just exhausted from my full schedule. I just got too stressed." Audrey shook her head. Allora knew she didn't buy it.

"Easy out," Audrey said flatly.

"What?"

"Easy out," she repeated. "The doctor gave you an easy out. An explanation that makes sense and puts everyone's mind at ease. And it gives you an easy out so you never have to tell what the real cause is. At least for now. If it happens again, it won't be so easy to hide. You'll have to prepare a story in advance, just in case you aren't given another easy out."

Allora couldn't believe what she was hearing or how accurate it was.

Audrey leaned forward and held Allora's gaze with hers. "See you know you can't tell anyone what really happened because if they knew they wouldn't like you anymore. In fact, they'd hate you because they would all know that you're not perfect." She paused a beat to let her words sink in. She took a deep breath before continuing; she wasn't sure if she could do this. "You'd be a disappointment and a failure because you couldn't handle it. You'd let everyone down. You don't do what you do- school, sports, anything- for yourself. You do it all for everyone else. To make mommy proud and daddy happy. To make your friends love you, to win your coaches accolades so they'll dote on you. Everyone controls a part of your life except you. So you look really hard for one thing, just one little thing that you CAN control...and finally you find it. And you hang onto to your control of this one area for dear life. No one knows about, they can't. But then something happens and you lose control of the only thing you have. You binge- binge like crazy. You even hear a voice in your head urging you to continue. And when you're done, you feel sick because you know you lost control. And if anyone knew that you lost control, they'd make fun of you because you have no willpower. You have to do something, so you purge. You thinks its over, but its not. You binge again. Then you purge. Before you know it, you can't stop. No matter how much you want to...you cannot stop. But no one knows so it's okay...you deal with it. And then your nightmares come true and something happens in public. You're given an easy out. But next time, it won't be so easy and you may not have an out."

The room was silent except for the sound of Allora's sobs. Tears clouded Audrey's eyes as she reached over and pulled the frightened girl into her arms. She held Allora until her sobs died down. Allora sat up and looked at Audrey. As Audrey wiped the tears from her eyes with her fingers, Allora searched her teacher's face for the answer to her unspoken question. Unable to find the answer she sought, she asked,

"Miss Andrews, how did you know all that? I never told anyone."

This question brought Audrey to a crossroads. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card.

"Here," she said. "I want you to give this to your parents."

"What is it?"

"It's the number for Dr. Amsden, one of the best doctors in New York who specialize in the treatment of eating disorders."

Allora smiled faintly. "Thank, Miss Andrews."

Audrey regarded her seriously. "Don't thank me yet. I want to give you the opportunity to tell your parents yourself. But, Allora, I am going to call them tomorrow and make sure they do know what's going on."

Allora nodded. "Okay."

"That's my girl," Audrey smiled. "Now why don't you go wash your face in the bathroom and head home so you'll have time to collect your thoughts before you talk to your parent.'

Allora smiled a little bit more. She slid off Audrey's lap and turned to leave. Impulsively, she ran back and hugged the teacher.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Audrey watched her go and then stood up. She put the chairs back where they belong and prepared to leave herself. She was stunned to see Jon standing in the doorway.

Her heart leapt into her throat; she wondered how much he had heard.

"Jon," she said a bit too brightly. "Hey, I didn't know you were still here."

Jon stepped into the room with his arms folded over his chest. His expression was grim. Audrey backed up as he came towards her. She swallowed hard. The look on his face was beginning to scare her.

"You didn't answer her question," he said shortly.

"What?" Audrey really didn't know what he was talking about.

"She asked how you knew all that?" His eyes narrowed. "How did you know all that, Audrey?"

"Know what? About her eating disorder?" Audrey tried to get by him, but he wouldn't let her. "Topanga told me."

Jon shook his head. He was beginning to piece together the Audrey's mystery. She wasn't about to get off the hook.

"She may have told you that," he said. "But she didn't know the details that you told Allora."

Audrey stared at him in disbelief. "What is with you?" she demanded, trying to keep the ire out of her voice. "So I studied psychological disorders in college. Her case is textbook. Anyone could reconstruct that scenario I told her."

"I don't believe that," Jon told her bluntly. "What you know goes beyond a psych class."

Audrey's jaw dropped. Anger flared in her eyes, turning them to a hurricane gray. "And just what are you insinuating?" She tried pulling away from him, but his grip on her arms was too tight.

"You're hiding something from me." Jon tried to calm his tone down. She was getting angry with him. He didn't want that, he only wanted the truth. "I just want to know what's going on with you."

It was too late to reason with the redhead. She struggled against him.

"Nothing's going on with me!" she cried. "Let go of me!"

The venom in her voice was what caused him to let go. She jerked away as his grip released and stood several feet away from him. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. She glared at him.

"You have no right to accuse of me hiding something," she spat. "What evidence do you have?"

Jon tried to answer, but no sound came out of his mouth. The sudden swing in her mood had thrown him off kilter. Finally, he shrugged.

"I didn't think so," she snorted derisively.

"C'mon, Audrey," Jon pleaded as she stormed towards the door. "Don't go. I'm sorry. I was just worried about you."

"You don't have to worry anymore."

She left him standing alone in the room wondering if he'd ever be able to get her favor back.

Chapter Text

The stillness of the apartment made it impossible for Shawn to concentrate on anything, much less math homework. There was something decidedly wrong. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jon sitting on the couch staring blankly at the television. Shawn wrinkled his nose and tapped his lips with his pencil. What was wrong, he determined, was that Audrey wasn't with them. One good thing about being a kid was being able to bug the heck out of adults until they gave you the information you wanted, just so you'd shut up. Shawn decided to take advantage of this and joined Jon on the couch.

Jon was sitting with one arm extended out over the couch's arm and holding the remote. His free hand covered his mouth. The far-away look in his eyes made it apparent that he wasn't paying attention to what was on the TV screen.

Shawn glanced at the television and then at Jon. "So," he began brightly. "This is a good episode of Melrose Place."

Jon looked at him without changing his position.

"Yeah," Shawn continued cheerily, knowing that Jon hated soaps of any kind. "This is the one where Rory marries Heather Locklear's character."

Jon sighed and handed Shawn the remote.

Shawn's mouth twisted into a perplexed frown. This wasn't going quite the way he had expected. After some thought, he felt it best to cut to the chase. He already knew what was bothering Jon.

"So," he tried again, "When are you going to go get her?"

Jon didn't acknowledge that he had heard him.

"C'mon, Jon," Shawn smiled knowingly. "I know that's what you're thinking..."

Jon gave him an annoyed look. "And just how would you know that?"

Shawn shrugged proudly. "It's a gift. But seriously, when are you going to go get her?"

A blank look fogged over Jon's gaze again. "Dunno. I can't get a hold of her. She's not answering her phone."

Shawn regarded him steadily. "She'll start her shift at Hannigan's soon, so why don't you go there?"

From the expression on his friend's face it was obvious that he hadn't thought of that.

"Nah," Jon shook his head. "It wouldn't do any good. She's made it abundantly clear that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "So she was a little steamed this afternoon. Audrey'll be over it by now. I'm even willing to bet that she's mooning over whether or not to come over here."

Jon gave a snort of derision. "And how would a fifteen-year-old kid like you know that?" he said, half-jokingly.

Shawn tried to conceal his smile. "Hey, when I like the subject I study hard."

That garnered a small smile from his teacher

Shawn brushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "Really though, you ought to tell her."

"I have told her that I'm sorry," Jon frowned. "And a lot of good that did me."

"That's not what I meant." Shawn carefully watched for Jon's reaction to what he was about to propose. "I meant that you should go tell her that you love her."

Now Shawn had Jon's undivided attention.

"Excuse me?" Jon stared slack-jawed at the boy next to him, unable to believe what he was hearing. "I should tell her what?"

"That you love her."

Jon rested his cheek on his fist. "What gave you that idea," he muttered. He steeled his gaze on a point on the wall apparently trying to bore a hole through it with his sight.

Shawn took a deep breath. He really didn't have any solid evidence for his assumptions; he only had bits and pieces of reason, fragments of a possible underlying attraction. But most of his conclusions came from reading into to words and gestures, his own wish to see them together, and a gut feeling.

"I saw what almost happened earlier this week," he finally said.

Jon looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Now what are you talking about?"

"After school on Wednesday. I left some books in your class and when I went back to get them, I saw you guys almost kiss."

Jon returned his eyes to that spot on the wall. "Yeah, well, nothing happened."

Shawn was beginning to get exasperated. "But that's not the only thing. I've seen how you look at her and how you act around her. Jon, I've seen you with a lot of different girls and you've never been like this before."

Jon closed his eyes. This was one of those times when he hated how perceptive his charge could be.

"And so what I am- No, Shawn, there's no point in discussing this," he said brusquely, getting up.

"Why not?" Shawn demanded, kneeling on the couch cushion so that he could see Jon. "It's true isn't? I am right."

Jon stopped half-way to the door to his bedroom. He slowly turned around to face Shawn.

"So what if it is true?" He sounded almost hopeless. He just wanted Shawn drop the subject. He had already accepted that there was no way things could work out between him and Audrey and yesterday only served to further prove that.

Finally an admission, or semi-admission. Shawn could barely contain himself.

"So go tell her!" he cried eagerly, clasping his hands together.

"I can't do that."

Shawn's smile faded. "Why not?" he asked genuinely perplexed.

Jon walked back over to the couch. He had to smile for despite what Shawn thought he knew about relationships, he was still pretty naïve.

"Look, Shawn," Jon decided to level with him. "I realized a long time ago that things just can't work out. The timing's just off. And then there's the age thing; she's just a kid."

Shawn either didn't understand or refused to understand, Jon could see the stubborn look that settled in his eyes.

Shawn folded his arms over chest. "So you're going to marry Ms. Tompkins, aren't you?"

The change of subject came out of left field and took Jon by total surprise.

"I-I-I don't know, Shawn!" Jon threw up his hands, more frustrated with himself than with the boy's questions.

Shawn pinched at the afghan hanging over the back of the couch. He didn't understand why adults had to make everything so complicated. In his mind, the resolution to the current problem was simplistic- Jon told Audrey that he loved her, she returned his affection, and that was that. Though Shawn would fervently deny that he believed in happily-ever-after endings, in way, that was exactly the way he viewed the situation. He never considered outside influences that might stand in the way of such a fairy tale.

"Have you ever told her that you love her?" There was a hint of accusation in his voice and an underlying fear of the answer in Shawn's voice.

"Look..." Jon stopped, let out a breath, and started over. "No. No, I haven't."

"Why." The word was more of a statement than a question stated in a tone that seemed to dare the teacher to answer contrary what Shawn believed to be true.

"Because I'm not sure that I do."

"Why."

"Shawn," Jon felt that he had to put a stop to this discussion. This wasn't something he should be discussing with a kid; he should be talking to Eli, if he had to talk to anyone. And yet, he somehow felt that Shawn was actually the best person to confide in, whatever the teacher- student, guardian-charge relational boundaries he might be disregarding.

"Because," he glanced at Shawn. He looked away from the boy's hard stare. "Because of Audrey."

Shawn smiled slightly. "What was so difficult about that? It's not like I didn't already know."

Jon sighed.

"So," Shawn went on. "Go to Hannigan's and tell her."

"You don't get it, Shawn," Jon said, shaking his head. "Things aren't so black and white. I have to consider what's best for the both of us."

"You're right I don't get it." Shawn gave the afghan a hard twist. "What's best is for you guys to be together. If you love each, that is best. What's there to consider?"

Jon smile morosely. "Lots of things, Hunter." He sat on the back of couch. "First of all, I don't know if Audrey's feelings towards me are that strong."

"They are," Shawn cut in.

"Have you asked her directly?"

Shawn's shoulder slumped forward. "No," he muttered in admittance.

"Another thing," Jon went on. "Audrey isn't the type of girl you date just to be dating. She has definite ideas on what she's looking for and won't date for dating's sake. She's the kind of girl you date only if you're serious about settling down. That's what she's looking for. Besides, she needs someone who can take care of her."

Shawn looked up at his caretaker through his bangs. "You take good care of me. You'd take good care of her, too."

Jon smiled. "Thanks. But I couldn't take care of her the way I want to."

"Material things don't mean anything to her."

"I know, Shawn, I know."

"So you're not even going to try to see if things could work out?" Shawn couldn't accept that possibility. It was utterly inconceivable that Jon would let someone like Audrey slip through his fingers without even trying to hold onto her.

Jon looked at Shawn for a long moment before answering.

"No, Shawn, I'm not."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Topanga was just about to head out the door when her mother called her from the kitchen.

"Tippy!" Mrs. Lawrence called in a chirpy voice. "Sweetie darling, there's a telephone call for you."

"I've got to get to Chubbie's, Mom," Topanga called back. "I'm meeting Trini. Who is it?"

There was a moment's silence, as her mother presumably found out the identity of the caller.

"It's Allora."

Topanga rushed into the kitchen and took phone from her mother.

"Hello?" She answered breathlessly.

"Hullo, Sweetie darling," Allora teased her. She sound frail, even over the phone.

Topanga laughed nervously. She hadn't spoken to Allora since she had told Miss Andrews her friend's secret. "How're you doing?"

There was a pause. "Not so good," Allora admitted. "I feel really tired almost all the time. And Mom and Dad won't let me out of their sight, so I feel suffocated."

"Oh," Topanga twisted the telephone cord around her finger. She wasn't sure what to say.

"Hey, listen," Allora said, trying to sound upbeat. "I can't talk long; I'm not even suppose to be on the phone, but Dad let me call you and tell you the news."

Topanga stood up straight. "What news?"

"I'm going to New York tomorrow to see that doctor Miss Andrews suggested."

"Oh," Topanga said again. "How long are you going to be there?"

"I dunno," Allora responded. She seemed depressed. "Maybe for the rest of the school year. It just depends on how bad things are. But this trip tomorrow is just a consultation. I'll be back on Tuesday."

Topanga sighed. "Are you going to be back in time to go on the New York trip?"

"Yeah," Allora said hesitantly. "But I don't know if I'll be allowed to go with you guys."

"Aw, it won't be fun without you!"

"Right," Allora tried to joke. "You'll be in NYC with Cory and you'll forget about me!"

Allora couldn't see her friend, but knew Topanga was blushing.

"Al-lora!" Topanga grinned, the blush evident in her voice.

Allora laughed. "Well, in case I can't go, you'll have to take lots of pictures."

"I will," Topanga promised. As a mischievous afterthought she added, "Is that lots of pictures of New York you want or of Mr. Turner?"

"Topanga!" It was Allora's turn to flush crimson.

The girls shared a laughed before Allora had to hang up.

"Well, I guess I'll see you Tuesday," Topanga said.

"Yeah," Allora said quietly.

The was silence on the line.

"Tippy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling."

Topanga smiled. "Anything for my best friend."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hannigan's was a cozy little bar and grill joint on the corner of 5th and Grant. It specialized in homestyle family cuisine, but in the evenings after nine, mixed drinks were the entrée of choice.

Audrey was working the booths which were filled with mostly male patrons. Jon spotted her coming out of the kitchen with a tray loaded down with food and drinks balanced slightly above her shoulder on one hand.

Jon took a seat in a booth just out of her service area where he could watch for a chance to talk to her. She looked tired, he noticed. With her hair tied back into a topknot, it was easy to see how prominently her cheekbones stood out. There were dark circles under her eyes which Jon attributed to long days and late shifts. For the last three weeks, Audrey had been working overtime in ten-hour shifts from six in the evening till nearly four-thirty the following morning. Jon hated that she had to work while she was interning.

Audrey chatted cordially with her customers as she took their orders. She was dressed in the uniform typical of Hannigan's female her long-sleeve, button-down white shirt, she wore a vest with a hunter green and mauve pin-stripe front and solid mauve back. A Hannigan's name tag was pinned on the right side of the vest near her shoulder announcing, "Hi! I'm Audrey". The front hem of the vest hung below the waistline of the hunter green apron that was tied over her black skirt. She wore flesh-tone panty hose and black strappy heels. Jon inwardly cringed when he glanced at her shoes; she had once voice concern that long hours on her feet in those shoes might end up damaging her feet to the extent that she wouldn't be able to dance en pointe anymore. And they caused her a great deal of pain. Unfortunately she had little choice in her selection of footwear and would have to put up with the impractical shoes until a better job came along.

One of the men at the table Audrey was at order a Long Island ice tea. Jon smiled in bemusement as Audrey repeated the order back as "one Lon Guylan ice tea".

Another waitress, a cute blonde with a pixie-ish face, came over to Jon and asked if she could get him anything. She tried flirting with him, but he wasn't interested. He ordered coffee and the waitress went off to fill the order, visibly disappointed Before long, she returned with the coffee. Jon absently stirred the steaming liquid, not very interested in it either.

Audrey was desperate to take a break. She had been working non-stop since her shift began. Every time she was about to go on break, one of the other girls would slip out for a smoke when they weren't suppose to and Audrey would have to cover their tables for them. There was a brief lull in business and Audrey jumped at the chance to sit down. She headed for the breakroom after telling Ginny, her manager, that she was going on break. With her hand on the employee's "lounge" door, Audrey suddenly decided to go back out on the restaurant floor and check on Mrs. McGillis, a sweet, but high maintenance old lady, who would only be waited on by Audrey.

After seeing that Mrs. McGillis was happy, Audrey headed to the back again but stopped when she saw Jon. She wondered why he was at Hannigan's and was slightly hurt that he wasn't sitting in her service area. Ignoring her injured pride, Audrey walked over to his booth.

"Hey there, handsome," she quietly teased. "This seat taken?"

Jon looked up and a smile spread over his face when he saw. "No, no. Have a seat if you would."

Audrey slid into the dark leather-backed booth. As soon as she was sitting, she slipped out of her shoes; her feet throbbed as she wiggled her toes slowly.

"So," Audrey said, tugging her skirt down as close to her knees as it would go. "What brings you out here so late?"

Jon pushed his coffee away and leaned his elbows on the table. "You," he said simply.

"Really?" Audrey smiled. "Why is that?"

"I feel really bad about what happened yesterday afternoon."

"Oh, that." Audrey waved her hand in dismissal. "That was my fault. I don't know why I said all those horrible thing. I really didn't mean any of it."

Jon studied her for a instant. "I know you didn't," he said, hoping that she couldn't hear the relief in his voice. "I was just worried you might be angry with me."

Audrey shook her head. "Absolutely not. Actually, I was afraid you were upset with me."

"Never." Unconsciously, Jon reached across the table and place his hand on top of hers.

Audrey could feel her cheeks heat up but she didn't pull away.

"I just want you to be able to talk to me Audrey," he said seriously. "I want you to trust me enough to tell me if something's wrong. Sometimes I get the feeling that you don't."

"I do, Jon," she assured him, putting her other hand on top of his. "Really, I do. It's just that...I don't know I sometimes overreact to things that are said. I'm so embarrassed over yesterday."

"Ah," Jon shrugged. "Let's forget about it. That was yesterday after all."

Audrey grinned and was about to say something more when Mrs. McGillis started calling for her.

Audrey looked at Jon wistfully; she didn't want to return to work so soon or take her hands away from his. Jon broke their connection to add cream to a cup of cold coffee. Audrey slipped her shoes back on and stood up.

"Hey," Jon caught her wrist before she left. "See you tomorrow?'

Audrey smiled to herself and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

Chapter Text

"Some folks like to get away,

Take a holiday from the neighborhood.

Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood.

But I'm takin' a Greyhound on the Hudson River line.

I'm in a New York state of mind..."

-Billy Joel, "New York State of Mind"

Katherine Tompkins got little sleep the night before the big day. Early Thursday morning she awoke before dawn with a serious case of butterflies. The day of the sophomore New York trip had finally arrived. Katherine was excited about the four day excursion for more than one reason. When she was in the City years ago, she had not had the opportunity to catch the vibe of the big city; tight audition schedules had not allowed for little girls from Denison, Texas to go sightseeing; she was looking forward to actually seeing the city itself this time around. However, the main reason for her giddiness was due to Jonathan Turner. Katherine was determined to make the weekend a memorable one and show him that she was the one for him. She realized how much stress Jon was under trying to juggle school, Shawn, and a student teacher; his responsibility was overwhelming and didn't leave him feeling much like pursuing a serious relationship. So Katherine had arranged that her free time in the City corresponded with his to give them chance to be together. She planned this as a surprise for him and had not checked to see if he had plans or not.

Suddenly, Katherine remembered that Jon had family in New York and began to panic when she realized that by not telling him of her plan for them, he might have made arrangements to visit his relatives.

No matter, Katherine dismissed the thought. This trip would be a good opportunity for me to meet my future in-laws. She failed to recall that his parents had moved to Connecticut some years ago and no longer kept their penthouse in the City.

Katherine showered and grabbed a quick breakfast before loading her luggage in her car and heading for school.

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Shawn had his own plans for Jon and they had began by lining up Jon and Audrey's free time. The week before Shawn had come across Audrey's planner for the trip and had "borrowed" it while she and Jon had gone out to pick up lunch. Audrey had written the fixed plan in pen and tentative or unconfirmed ones in pencil. Luckily, chaperone free times were all in pencil and he was able to move some things around so that Jon and Audrey had all their free times together. At the time, he had thought it was a bit odd that Miss Tompkins' times all lined up with Jon's, but promptly forgot about it as he tried to match his handwriting as close to Audrey's neat, flowery script as possible. If either Jon or Audrey had noticed any scheduling changes, they hadn't say anything- neither he nor Cory had been yelled at.

The trip in general was a cause of excitement, but Shawn was especially looking forward to Friday when Jon and Audrey were taking him, and him alone, to Greenwich Village. The rest of the time Shawn was looking forward to hanging with Cory when Cory wasn't with Topanga. Hmmm...Shawn frowned. He may not be seeing much of his best friend after all...Oh, well.

"Well, Shawnie," Cory spread his arms out to the side with a cheesy grin in the hall of John Adam's High. "This it. We're going to take New York by storm. If we can make it there, we can make it anywhere!"

"We're taking New York by bus," Shawn told him, giving him a curious look. "And what are we making there?"

"Heh?" Cory stared at his friend, frozen with his arms open. Sometimes he and Shawn got on different wave lengths and missed each other all together.

"Are you guys seriously wearing those shirts?" Topanga wanted to know as she walked up to them.

Shawn and Cory looked down at their "I love NY" shirts.

"Yeah," Shawn shrugged. "So?"

"So isn't that a little tourist-y?"

Shawn pointed to Audrey who was talking to Mr. Feeny.

"Miss Andrews doesn't think so," he said. "She definitely isn't a tourist."

Topanga looked at Audrey who was wearing a white "New York Irish" T-shirt and had a black duffle bag slung over her shoulder that proclaimed "I love NY".

Topanga smiled at Shawn. "I stand corrected," she said.

The warning bell rang and the students in the hall scurried to get to their homerooms on time. Cory and Shawn helped Topanga with her luggage.

"Please tell me you didn't bring that huge trunk of hair stuff with you," Shawn pleaded.

"No," Topanga replied looking back over her shoulder at him. "I'm just going to buy what I need when I get there."

"Good," Shawn said, over-exaggerating his gratefulness by tossing his hands skyward. Even Cory looked relieved to know that there was no trunk.

Once the final bell rang, Jon wasted no time in getting things underway. After taking attendance he assigned the each student to one of six different chaperones who be in charge of a group of eight students. He and Audrey would be heading a similar, but much smaller group themselves.

Cory, Shawn, and Topanga ended up together in Jon and Audrey's group.

"How did that happen?" Jon asked Audrey after he read off the names.

Audrey could only shrug.

Once the class was divided up, they joined the rest of their classmates out on the parking lot and found their respective chaperones.

Cory and Shawn were somewhat dismayed to find Frankie Stacchino in their group. Topanga was stunned to see Allora waiting, suitcase in hand, by Frankie.

"A-Allora?" Topanga sputtered in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

Allora smiled, taking great delight in her friend's reaction.

"Sophomore trip to NYC," she winked. "You?"

"You're GOING?" Topanga gave cry and practical ran Cory down in order to get over to Allora.

Cory picked himself up and straightened the collar of his polo shirt. Shawn smiled at him knowingly.

"So you and me this trip?" he asked.

Cory looked at him then at the nearly hysterical girls and back again.

"Yeah, looks like it."

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Shawn was flabbergasted when Jon announced that they would staying at the Library while they were in New York. He was ready to take the first bus back to Philadelphia when their bus pulled up in front of an extravagant building that was unlike any library he had ever seen.

"The Library," Jon said with a sly grin, direct at Shawn. "Hotel that is."

Audrey took over from there and explained the rules for walking around the City once more. She gave them their room assignments before they filed off the bus according to their groups.

"This place sounds awesome!" Allora exclaimed in awe.

"It says here," Topanga said, her nose buried in a travel guide, " 'The Library Hotel in New York City is the first hotel ever to offer its guests over 1,000 volumes organized throughout the hotel by Melville Dewey's decimal classification system. Each of the ten guest room floors in this fashionable and refined hotel honors one of the ten categories of Mr. Dewey's system, and each of the 60 rooms is uniquely adorned with a collection of books and art exploring a distinctive topic. The Library is a true "classic", offering the style, elegance and ambiance of a private club. Includes complimentary continental breakfast. The Reading Room serves complimentary continental breakfast 7:00 AM to 10:30 AM. In addition, complimentary afternoon tea, coffee, cappuccino, espresso, and cookies are always available. Imported champagne, wines, and cheese are served weekday evenings.' "

"That is so cool!" Allora shrieked, looking over Topanga's shoulder.

Cory and Shawn exchanged apprehensive looks.

After dividing up into in their groups and following their respective chaperones to their assigned rooms, Shawn seized the opportunity to let Jon know that he was not happy about where they were staying.

"This place is going to give me nightmares," he sourly informed his teacher.

Jon rolled his eyes and turned to Audrey.

"Hey, Aud," he said, taking her arm as they walked into the lobby. "Slight change in rooms- you guys," he nodded towards Topanga and Allora and the other girls with them, "are going to be in 700.003 instead of 700.006."

Audrey raised her eyebrows. "Oh, really? How come?"

Jon shrugged.

"Wait," Audrey stopped him. "Don't tell me you don't know why you changed rooms."

Jon held his palms out and winked at her.

Audrey let him go with a questioning look and turned to her girls.

"Shall we go unpack?"

Once the kids saw the rooms they were staying in, they didn't want to leave the hotel. Miss Tompkins group was staying on the third floor, which was deemed the Social Sciences section, in the World Culture room. Eli's group wound up on the tenth floor, General Knowledge section. He laughed when he saw the room; no doubt Jon had a hand in placing his group there. It was room number 1000.005- Journalism. Other groups found themselves on the fifth floor, Math and Science section, the Dinosaur room; the sixth floor, Technology section, Health and Beauty room; and the eleventh floor, Philosophy section, Paranormal room.

Each room had intriguing and unusual art and books dedicated solely to the topic of the room. There were so many things to explore within the rooms that the kids were unbelievably reluctant to leave and begin their tour of the City.

Jon and the boys accompanied Audrey and her girls to their floor which was right below their own floor. The elevator doors chimed opened at the seventh floor.

"Which section is this?" Cory asked, glancing cautiously about the hall before stepping out of the elevator.

"The Arts," Jon answered, taking Audrey's suitcase from her before she could tell him that she was capable of carry it herself.

"What room are we looking for?" Allora glanced at Topanga, who shrugged.

"Number 700.003," Audrey replied.

Cory and Shawn started off down the hall.

"Hey, guys," Jon called after them. "Wrong way."

"Oh." Shawn and Cory exchanged sheepish looks before jogging back to the others.

"They oughta post signs so you know where you're going," Shawn commented.

Jon rolled his eyes. "They do," he said pointing the directory they were standing in front of.

"Oh." Shawn stuffed his hands in his pockets.

The room was easy to find and the boys stayed long enough to drop the girls' luggage off. Then they headed off to their room on the eighth floor, Literature section, Fiction room.

"Ooo!" Allora squealed when she saw the room. Topanga gaped at the room in awe.

Audrey merely shook her head and chuckled to herself. Jon had switched them from the Fashion Design room to the Performing Arts. Several areas of the room were dedicated to ballet.

"Oh, Audrey!" Topanga exclaimed pointing to a picture on the wall. "That dancer looks like she could be you!"

Audrey smiled in reminiscence and made a mental note to thank Jon profusely for the change.

Despite getting a late a start, the John Adams High group had a full day of activity. They took a double-decker bus on their tour of the City. Their first stop was the Empire State Building.

"Hey, Jon," Shawn called, leaning over the rail of the Observation Deck as far as the metal guard rail would allow. "Can you really make a big dent in the sidewalk by dropping a penny off of the edge?"

Jon glanced distractedly away from Frankie and his over-zealous attempt to be Allora's personal bodyguard. He saw Cory pulling a quarter out of his pocket.

"Don't even think about it, Matthews!" Jon called to him.

Cory gave him a guilty look before pocketing the coin again.

Their next stop was the NY Skyride in which the group took a big-screen, motion simulated tour of New York from a bird's eye view. It was an exhilarating ride that left the kids chattering all the way to the Guggenheim Museum.

As Jon and Audrey had anticipated, the high schoolers had little appreciation for 20th century art, particularly modern art. While most of them made fun of the abstract works, a few- like Topanga and Frankie- made a serious attempt to understand the art. Shawn, surprisingly, was absorbed in the works of Picasso and particularly taken with Jackson Pollock's "Ocean Greyness". However, he kept his more intellectual comments to himself and made derogatory comments about the artwork with his classmates instead.

From the Guggenheim, they took a a walking tour of the Upper West Side before heading to Café Mozart for dinner. Café Mozart was a combination coffeehouse and diner, specializing in eclectic and American cuisine.

Cory squeezed into a booth with Topanga and Allora and was promptly pushed out when Frankie sat down at the opposite end to get closer to Allora. Since his seat on the floor was not quite as comfortable as it could have been, Cory stood up and brushed himself off. He then joined Shawn at a less crowded table.

Shawn didn't say anything when Cory sat down. He seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"You okay?" Cory rested his chin in his hand and studied his friend seriously.

"Yeah," Shawn responded automatically, not bothering to look at Cory.

"Yeah, and I'm the king of Spain," he shot back, slightly annoyed. He knew Shawn as well as he knew himself and he knew that something was wrong.

Shawn looked at Cory now and smiled morosely. "You aren't going to leave me alone, are you?"

Cory shook his head. "Nope. I'd be a lousy friend if I did."

Despite the intense desire to sulk in his thoughts alone, Shawn greatly appreciated Cory's persistence and concern. "It's just..." Shawn paused, unconsciously twisting the napkin in his hand into a long spiral. "What if my dad calls while we're here? What if I miss the only call from him? It's been so long already."

Cory sighed. He kind of already knew that was the cause of Shawn's unease.

"I mean, he could," Cory shifted in his seat, unsure of what to say. "But if he does call Mr. Turner's and doesn't get anyone, he'll call my parents you're since over at our place a lot. Mom and Dad can find out where he is or at least tell him how to contact you here."

Shawn considered that possibility. "I guess you're right," he said slowly, letting go of the napkin. "Yeah, that's what'll happen." But he couldn't get over the feeling that even if his dad did call, he might not try to call again.

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Katherine had excused herself from the table, giving Jon the opportunity to talk to Audrey- and to breathe. Katherine had been shadowing his every move every chance she got.

Audrey gave him a slightly amused look when the older woman left.

Jon glanced at her, unaware of how apparent the look of relief was on his face.

"What?"

Audrey shook her head. "Nothin'."

The barista briefly interrupted them.

"I'll have a schizo coffee," Audrey said when he asked for her order. She was trying to cut back on her daily caffeine intake, but being home made her want a Espresso Macchiato or some other highly caffeinated drink. So she opted for a half regular and half decaf coffee blend.

"One ristretto," Jon told him.

"Oh," Audrey commented. "Someone's going to wired like a strobe light tonight."

Jon's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Uh-huh," he said. He leaned over closer to her. "What are you doing later?"

Audrey gave him a funny look. "How much later?"

"Ten-thirty. Eli's going to watch the boys, so I can take a break."

"I don't have anyone to watch the girls."

"It won't be hard to find someone."

Jon straightened up when he saw Katherine returning.

"Come to the Poetry Garden," was all he managed to say before the social studies teacher sat down.

Audrey nodded hesitantly. She accepted her espresso from the barista with a smile of gratitude, then sat back and wondered what the night would bring.

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The Poetry Garden was an exquisite greenhouse-like sitting room for the guest of the Library Hotel. French doors opened out onto a terrace offering a breath-taking view of the City. The night light streamed in through the windows that enclosed the space. In such a room one could truly believe that night was made for magic.

Audrey had managed to coax Mrs. O'Hara, one of the parent chaperones, into watching her girls. Mrs. O'Hara had given her an inquiring look, but had not asked why Audrey needed her to watch them.

Jon was already there, standing by the doors to the terrace, watching the thriving nightlife in the streets below.

She quietly slid next to him and said nothing. After a moment had passed, he turned slightly towards her with a hint of a smile.

"I'm glad you came," he said softly.

Audrey discovered that she had no voice, so she answered him by slipping her arm through his.

They stood there in silence, until Audrey found her voice again.

"It's so beautiful," she breathed. "Could we go onto the terrace?"

Jon smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

There was only a lone young man standing outside with a small boom box. Muted strains of familiar song wafted through the still air .

Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues... Let's dance, to the song they're playin' on the radio...

"Someone's playing Bowie," Jon chuckled, his voice still barely above a whisper.

"One of my favorite songs," Audrey added. She, too, spoke in hushed tones as though something louder might shatter that fragile ambiance of the night.

Let's sway, while color lights up your face... Let's sway, sway through the crowd to an empty space...

The further the evening progressed, the cooler the temperature became. Dressed only in a thin, grey button-down shirt and white capris, Audrey shivered slightly. Sensing her chill, Jon put his arms around her. Unnerved at first, Audrey wasn't sure what to do with herself. After a bit, she relaxed and slipped her arms around his waist; she felt him rest his chin on the top of her head.

Let's dance, for fear your grace should fall... Let's dance, for fear tonight is all... Let's sway, you could look into my eyes...Let's sway, under the moonlight, this serious moonlight... If you say run, I'll run with you... If you say hide, we'll hide...

Because my love for you... Would break my heart in two... If you should fall into my arms and tremble like a flower...

Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues... Let's dance, to the song they're playin' on the radio... Let's sway, you could look into my eyes...

Let's sway, under the moonlight, this serious moonlight...

Illustration of Autumn in Philadelphia book 1

Chapter Text

Life so seldom turns out the way you want it to, no matter how hard or how often you wish it would. And when things continually turn out the opposite of the way you want them to, it becomes extremely hard not to see yourself as the common denominator in those events and, eventually, you believe you are the reason things didn't work out.

Shawn Hunter stood in a small shop in Midtown Manhattan staring at the building across the street. Usually when he was back in the City, he refrained from doing anything or visiting anything that would bring back certain memories. Thanks to Cory, however, he was back in his childhood whether he wanted to be or not. His extraordinarily wonderful and frustrating best friend was holding his photography equipment hostage until he met face to face with his former mentor. He suspected Topanga was accomplice to the theft. He turned his gaze away from the people on the street scurrying to get out of the rain and studied the sign above the door of the building:

The Library Hotel

Memories came flooding back:

Their sophomore class unleashed on the Big Apple.

Him.

Cory.

Topanga.

Jon.

Audrey.

The New York trip was a blur for Shawn now. A pleasant blur, one he sometimes desperately wished he could recall in detail. So much went on in just a few short days. For a few of those short hours it was just him, Jon, and Audrey. That was what he wished he could remember the details of: going to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, dinner afterwards, just the three of them. Happy. Together. Shawn could no longer remember where they ate, though he tried to find it many times later on. Maybe, like Audrey, it was no longer there. He could just faintly recall a spectacular showdown between Jon and Katherine that nearly occurred in the lobby of the Library when they returned from their night out. That did happen, didn't it? Shawn shook his head. He wasn't sure if that actually happened or if just one of the those daydreams, he convinced himself had happened. It may have also been a daydream that Audrey had taken them to meet her father just before the class was to head back to Philadelphia. Just like the Empire State Building, Times Square, and the Statue of Liberty it was all just a ghost of a memory. Cory and Topanga both swore for years he tried to get Jon and Audrey to buy him a life-sized Lego Darth Vader for a mere $5,000 as a souvenir from F.A.O. Schwartz. Shawn couldn't remember that happening or even going to the toy store. Often when the group would talk about the trip Shawn felt as though he hadn't even gone, that was how little he could recall.

Perhaps that was due to what happened after they returned home. The school year seemed to race to its conclusion and just as rapidly everything seemed to go very wrong. Although Audrey's student teaching tenure ended before the school year did, she made arrangements with her school and Mr. Feeny to see the year conclude. But it never happened.

Shawn inhaled deeply, watching the raindrops splash against the windowpane. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to think back to when they lost Audrey.

Although they had been inseparable once back in Philadelphia, Jon and Audrey started to have problems, stemming from the fact Jon was convinced she was hiding something serious from him. He tried to get his friend to leave it alone so their good life wouldn't be disrupted, but the English teacher refused to listen. Then a month before her internship concluded, Jon sat him down to tell him that Audrey had finally told him the reason for her departure from Julliard: bulimia nervosa. She left Julliard to seek treatment because her health had declined to the point she could no longer dance. She lost her spot at the school as a result. When she received news of a downturn in her father's health, along with the stress of starting student teaching far from home, she began to struggle with the eating disorder again. She needed help now and that meant returning to New York for treatment, effectively ending her student teaching and putting her education on hold. In spite of himself, Shawn cracked a smile his teenage self coming up wild scenarios to keep Audrey in Philadelphia while she got help. One involved a museum dinosaur.

What on earth was I thinking?

He shook his head in amusement at the younger Shawn. He knew the answer, though. He wanted to keep Audrey with them whatever it took. Jon struck down every idea except one. He finally agreed to get her help without anyone knowing about it that did not absolutely need to know. Together, they, along with Audrey, carefully coordinated her treatment schedule with her school schedule making sure her health was a priority. He and Jon covered for her when she missed classes due to being in New York making sure no one at school, especially Mr. Feeny, found out. Jon told him the principal would have no choice but to report her to her supervisor, and him to the school board. Shawn knew Jon hated the deviousness of what they were doing, but it wasn't hard to convince him to keep it up- he wanted Audrey to stay as much as Shawn did. Eventually, it became necessary to pull Cory and Topanga into the scheme when Feeny and the other teachers became suspicious of Audrey's absences. Everything was going according to plan until Audrey's final day of student teaching. Without calling, Miss Tompkins came over the night before to see Jon. She let herself in with the spare she had never returned. He and his teacher had been out to pick up groceries when she arrived. Just as they were reaching the door of their apartment, Audrey's doctor called to change her appointment time for that week. Neither he nor Jon made it to the phone before the machine turned on and started recording.

Katherine's visit was short, but the damage it caused was long-lasting. While the recording didn't give much info away, Shawn always figured that Miss Tompkins must have done some snooping about the doctor and told Mr. Feeny. Early next morning Audrey's time at John Adams High was terminated and Jon was reprimanded. Shawn never found out exactly what that meant and didn't matter. Audrey was gone.

Everything changed and Shawn hated it. Jon started dating again, but the women he brought home were as opposite from Audrey as he could possibly get. He rarely dated the same girl twice, always ending things on the lie that he couldn't commit. Shawn knew the truth but said nothing, thankful that none the women stuck around- he couldn't stand any of them. It was such an odd time that Shawn looked forward to spending as much time away from the apartment as he could. In the midst of everything, his father came back. The pain of losing Audrey and the joy of being reunited with his dad, left Shawn incredibly confused. In time it became apparent that Jon was suffering a double loss and there wasn't anything either of them could do about it. For a time, their relationship was strained as they both grappled with the changes. However, differences were set aside as soon as the school year was over because Chet Hunter let Shawn go with Jon to see Audrey. Interestingly enough, their reason for going to New York gave his father and his mentor something to bond over.

The trip, however, was a resounding failure. Audrey seemed elated to see them initially, but quickly distanced herself. They stayed for a week before returning to Philadelphia alone. Jon surprised her with a proposal and asked her to come with them-with him- and she said no. Her father was dying, and she would not leave him. No scenario Jon offered was she willing to take. No. No. No to them; both of them.

Just like that the fairy tale was over.

Shawn deeply resented the situation that prevented her from coming home with them until he lost his own father and understood what she had been going through. He bore deep regret over the angry last words he yelled at her, the unforgiveness he promised her. Shawn grimaced at his immaturity. Nothing improved for him or Jon. Everything seemed to get worse. Jon's motorcycle accident happened the next school year. Once Shawn knew he was going to be okay, he backed further away from his mentor. He simply couldn't go back to the hospital. Instead, he excelled at avoiding anything to do with that part of his life, much to Cory's dismay. But he wouldn't waver on his stance. Towards the end of college Eric, of all people, convinced him to at least take a call from their old friend. So he did, but even with their contact over the years, there was still a gulf between them because every time Jon tried to tell him about his life, Shawn ended the conversation. Whenever Cory or Topanga tried to tell him about Jon's family he walked out.

It wasn't that he didn't care about the man who he still considered his father. He had a very good reason for not wanting to know about that part of his friend's life: as long as no one said anything to contradict the dream he lived for too short a time, he could go on believing it still existed somewhere. As long as reality never encroached on those memories it would forever be autumn in Philadelphia.

Chapter Text

"So he told Yancy he married his nurse!" Cory exclaimed, doubling over in laughter. He grinned at his wife with his hands held out, encouraging her to join in the merriment.

Topanga instead gave him a withering look. "Cory," she peppered the soup she was stirring with several spices. "It was only kind of funny then and it's so not funny now."

"Oh yes it is!" Cory could genuinely could not understand why she wasn't amused. "C'mon, Topanga. Don't you remember what happened? Jon had the accident and we all thought we might lose him, and then after a week... "

"Yes, I remember. I was there!" Exasperated, Topanga put her hand up to him to emphasize that she wanted him to stop. "It's been almost 20 years. Let. It. Die."

Cory gave up, disappointed, until he saw his former teacher walk into the Matthews' apartment.

"Hey Jon!" Cory grabbed hold of Turner's arm while Topanga gave the man a tight smile, pointed to her husband, and rolled her eyes. "When Shawn gets here you gotta tell him what you told Yancy about your wife!"

"What?" Jon glanced at Topanga. "That I married my nurse?"

"That's the one!" he cried, doubling over again, which made Jon chuckle and shake his head. The superintendent's smile faded when he saw the look Topanga was giving them.

"Don't you dare!" Topanga exclaimed, shaking a wooden soup-stained spoon at them. "Don't you dare tell Shawn that. Either of you!" She swatted at her husband with the spoon. "Cory! What is wrong with you?!"

"It's an inside joke, Topanga," Cory clarified as though that reasonably explained the jesting he intended to inflict upon his best friend.

"I know," she said, returning her attention to the boiling soup. "That's the problem. It's inside to us." She motioned to the three of them. "Shawn isn't going to think it's funny. He's going to believe you!"

"But that's the point. I want Shawn to be on the inside of the inside jokes. Like he always should have been." Cory looked to Jon for a little help. The older man waved his hand, indicating he would pass on getting involved in this particular dispute.

"What joke? It's not funny. A joke is supposed to be funny. You need to get new material." Topanga figured she had a far better chance of appealing to Jon's sense of reasoning than her husband's as his tended to abandon him at times. "I'm worried about Shawn, Jon. He took Angela's being married really hard. Even though he asked Katy out and everything went fine, something is still not right. He's not okay."

"That's what Cory tells me," the superintendent replied, his countenance darkening with sadness tinged with regret.

"That's exactly why I want him to be in on this, Topanga." Cory tried to explain to his wife once again what apparently only made sense to him. "This meeting is going to be a little awkward anyway. Consider this an icebreaker. Once he understands the joke he'll think it's funny. I know Shawn. We're going to get a big laugh out of it. And he needs to laugh."

Topanga continued to shake her head in disagreement.

Cory looked to Turner for help, but the older man only shrugged, lost in his own thoughts. He was apprehensive about the meeting that was a little less than an hour away. Especially since Shawn wasn't exactly agreeable to meeting with him; he was only doing it because Cory hadn't given him much of a choice. And Jon really didn't want to force him into a reunion, no matter how much he wanted to see his former student again. He didn't have much hope that things would go well.

Topanga's was unusually quiet for a mid-afternoon weekday. The bakery closed early to host a private reunion. Inside, Jonathan Turner sat on one of the couches, looking pale and uncomfortable. Unconsciously, he wrung his hands. His obviousness anxiety was extremely out of character. Cory was arranging and rearranging a number of coffee cups on the counter in front of him. He found his excitement hard to contain and so had busied himself with preparing an excessive amount of coffee and dishes, twelve in total, for three people. The silence caused Cory to look up. "You okay, Jon? You seem really nervous."

Jon unclasped his hands and tapped the tips of his fingers together several times before clasping them again. "Yeah, guess l am. It's been a long time since I've really seen Shawn."

"I know." Cory picked up a cup and inspected it. "But it's going to be great."

Jon raised his eyebrows and turned toward his former student. "He's been dodging me for years, Cory. You really think this time will be any different?"

"Of course, it will. For one thing, I'm locking the door as soon he gets here." Cory grinned expecting to see the older man smile at the joke, but Jon didn't even react. This made Cory put down his cup to study his colleague and friend. The worry etched in Jon's face surprised him. It was rare to see him anything but cool and collected.

In the time since Cory had grown up and gotten married, he and the teacher had become close friends. Yet in some ways, Jon would always be the leather jacket wearing, motorcycle helmet carrying, Mr. Feeny antithesis of Cory's first day of high school whom he was always just a little bit in awe of. But this was one of those times that reminded him that Jon was human. He knew that this meeting was incredibly important. The teacher had invested as much as possible into Shawn from the distance he was held at, acting as though he was fine with following his former charges' career from a distance, but Cory knew it also hurt him deeply that Shawn didn't want to get to know him any better and didn't want him involved in his life.

Although Jon said he understood Shawn's reluctance to reconnect Cory never quite believed him because he couldn't understand it and he saw and spoke to Shawn regularly. No, he couldn't understand his friend's refusal to get to know one of their biggest influences again. Maybe when they were kids, but not anymore. It had been 17 years. It was time for Shawn to get passed this. Topanga's voice of disapproval rang in his ears. She had once again expressed concern about pushing Shawn too much in this area after the disappointment of meeting Angela again. But Cory argued that it was completely different. Angela was married and Jon was... well, Jon was too, but it was hardly the same thing. For some reason, Topanga was connecting the Angela situation to Jon and Cory could not understand why. He was tired of his best friend's stubbornness and fear causing him to miss out on so much. And one way or another, it was going to end today.

He hoped.

"It's going to be fine, Jon," he said confidently. A nagging little something tugged at his gut, but he ignored it. "Honest."

"Yeah, I hope so." Cory's confidence did not transfer to the superintendent.

The quietness of Topanga's made the opening of the entrance sound like a crack of thunder. Jon jumped, nerves getting the best of him. Cory grinned as his best friend stepped apprehensively through the door. Shawn looked as on edge as Jon. He stood close to the door and glanced at Cory's happy face before focusing on his former guardian. Jon stood up and nervously wiped his hands on his jeans. The two men stared at each other without saying a word.

Cory walked around the counter, waiting for one of them to say something. He could do it himself, if necessary. He had come prepared to carry the entire conversation. It was Jon who spared them the prepared monologue for the moment.

"Shawn."

Shawn inhaled and nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"Jon."

And that was it. Cory hung his head in silent exasperation. Shawn. Jon. How could these two not have anything more to say to each other? This would not do.

"Shawnie!" Cory jumped on his friend and grabbed his arm, trying to distract him from whatever he was thinking. "Come on in!" He latched onto Jon's arm and yanked him over to them. "It's so great to see you two together again. It's been way too long!"

Cory's over-exuberance was...overwhelming. Shawn bit his lip and winced in Cory's grip; he'd gotten stronger since the last time Shawn saw him. Not wanting Jon to think his pained expression had anything to do with him, Shawn tried not to grimace as he looked up and mustered up all the courage he had to say, "How are you, Jon?"

"Good. Great!" the man seemed immensely relieved. He grinned. "You?"

"Yeah, good."

"I saw your vlog on your most recent Icelandic adventure. Great work!"

Shawn shrugged off the compliment, but a smile kissed his lips. "Thanks! I had a blast going back to Reykjavik."

The two went back and forth about Shawn's last job, but the conversation was tedious and went nowhere. This stilted conversation was little more than a face-to-face version of their phone conversations. A few more surface-level questions would be asked. Jon asked Shawn about his travels and his most recent photography series so that he would know that Jon was interested in his career. They would then banter back and forth. Everything would seem to be going well, then Jon would let his guard down and mention his kids. And the conversation would end. If he brought up anything personal that was not strictly work related the conversation would end. Over time, Jon ran out of things to say that wouldn't abruptly end the conversation. At least with Shawn right in front of him, he was able to extend the conversation a little.

"You look good, Shawn."

"You, too." He gave his mentor a tight smile. He caught the look of elation on Cory's face. His closest friend just wanted everything to be smoothed over between them. Then he saw the anxiety clearly etched in Jon's features, a man who had done nothing wrong and just wanted to be in his life. Shawn felt awful. He knew he should say something...anything. But he couldn't. After all this time what could he say that would undo the years of loss?

So they stood in silence. Cory, with his arms around the men's shoulders, was caught in the middle of the awkwardness. He thought about the monologue he had readied but discarded it. He had to get them past this thing Shawn had against knowing anything about Jon's family. He didn't know what the problem was exactly, but it had something to do with the kids.

Kids were a sore point for Shawn; he knew that from personal experience as Shawn had avoided Riley and Auggie for most of their lives. It was only recently that he started to build a relationship with his "niece" and "nephew". And Shawn had "brothers" and "sisters" who had been waiting their whole lives to meet him. Something had to give here; something had to be said so Cory said the only thing that he knew of to break the ice and usher Shawn fully into the Matthews/Turner family.

"So, Shawn, did you know that Jon married the nurse who took care of him after his accident?"

There really was no way Cory could have anticipated what happened next even with all of Topanga's warnings. A look of confusion froze on Shawn's face. He stared slack-jawed at Cory as though he was trying to understand what he said. Cory watched as understanding clicked into place. Shawn's expression changed to disbelief. Then it morphed into a red-hot anger.

Shawn turned his glare onto Jon.

"You did what?" The words sounded more pained than angry. But the emotion on his face was clear.

Cory wasn't the only one taken aback by Shawn's reaction. Jon was shocked. He struggled to find something to say that would cool the situation. He had seen Shawn angry many times before, but this was completely different. And, strangely enough, it didn't seem really directed at him.

"Shawn," he stepped towards the angry young man trying to reason with him. "It's a just a jok-!"

Shawn cut him off. He jerked away from Cory and rounded on him. "How could you!" he spat. "This is one thing I've asked you not to do! Why would you do this!"

Cory was too stunned to say anything. He, too, had never seen this type of ire from Shawn. In desperation he looked to Jon for help.

Jon's thoughts were spinning. Shawn's reaction made no sense. None of this made any sense. "Hunter!" Jon tried to get the man's attention by raising his voice. Shawn glared at him, but he stood still. "Would you just calm down? Listen to me, it's not what you-"

"I can't do this!" Shawn raised his hands like he was going to put them over his ears. He was heading towards the door as fast as he could.

"Shawn! Stop!" Frustration was coming through Turner's voice as he felt like he was dealing with a 15-year-old again. "Don't walk out that door."

Shawn stopped and looked over his shoulder. The anger was draining from his face. He looked at his one-time friend with a deeply pained expression. "I'm sorry, Jon," he whispered. There was a wave of despair in his voice. "It's not you. I'm sorry. I just can't do this right now."

He was gone before Cory could grab him.

Cory leaned against the door stunned by Shawn's reaction. Jon slumped down on the couch, with his head between his hands.

There was nothing left to say.

Chapter Text

It was late afternoon on Wednesday. The sunlight danced through the window shades in the Matthews' apartment. The sounds of children laughing and sometimes fighting drifted down the stairs. Cory sat at the dining room table staring at the front door. Behind him, his wife cleaned an already spotless kitchen. They were both waiting expectantly and somewhat anxiously. A few minutes later, the apartment door opened, and their former English teacher entered with a grim look on his face.

He studied them for a long moment, then shook his head. "I've looked everywhere I can think of," a despondent Turner sighed heavily, taking a seat across from the younger man. "I don't think he's in the City anymore."

"He is," Cory assured him with more confidence than he felt. "His photography stuff is still in Auggie's room. I've been checking."

The corner of Jon's mouth turned up and he raised an eyebrow. "Every five minutes?"

"Every five minutes."

Jon smiled his gratitude for the cup of coffee Topanga set in front of him. "He could leave without it, you know."

Cory shook his head resolutely. "I've also got his wallet." To prove it, he took a well-worn wallet out of his back pocket and laid it on the table.

Jon looked at him in disbelief. "You stole his wallet?"

"I did not," the social studies teacher countered. "It fell out of his pocket; I found it on the couch."

"I can't believe you stole his wallet!" Topanga smacked his shoulder as she sat down next to him.

"I didn't steal it. I found it." Cory insisted indignantly. "Anyway, finder's keepers." He made a face at his wife who made one back at him.

"Hey, Daddy." Jon felt a pair of slim arms enclosed around his shoulders. "Where've you been?" He turned his head slightly to see his fifteen-year-old daughter, Julia.

"Out lookin' for Shawn."

Her gray eyes lit up. "Shawn? The Shawn? Shawn Hunter?"

Her reaction made him smile slightly. "Yeah, the one and only."

"Oh, cool! So what happened?"

When her father didn't answer she looked to Cory for an answer. He sheepishly stared at his hands. Topanga rapidly tapped her fingers against the tabletop and finally said, "Your uncle insisted on reintroducing your father and Shawn with the nurse joke."

"Oh, no!" Julia groaned. She wrinkled her nose in disdain. "That joke's the worst! Even Mom hates it!"

"I know, I know," Jon lifted his hands in surrender. "Consider it permanently retired!"

"So," Julia dug her chin into her dad's shoulder as she pulled her dark hair over her shoulder and his. "Am l ever gonna get to meet him?"

Jon sighed. She'd been asking that same question since she was three. "I don't know, Jules. I can't get him to meet with me."

The brunette looked up. "Aunt Topanga, can't you do anything about this?"

Topanga appreciated Julia's faith in her ability to make everything better and hated letting her down. She regretfully shook her head. "I would if I could, honey. But it's just not that easy. Your brother's going through a hard time right now."

Julia frowned in annoyance. Shawn was always going through a hard time it seemed to her. She had been told about her older brother since birth. The brother her dad had done so much for. He never missed a gallery showing her brother did no matter the location. He would drop everything to take a call from Shawn; a call that always ended up with him frustrated and sad. He always sent birthday and Christmas cards and gifts to his last address or would just leave them with Uncle Cory since Shawn would visit him. This brother who couldn't be bothered to see her dad even once when he was in the City but made time for everyone else it seemed. Intense dislike bubbled up within Julia. Some brother.

"I don't get this thing with Shawn," she groused with teenage irritation. "You and dad and Uncle Cory always talk about how great Shawn is, but I don't think he so wonderful. He's a jerk if you ask me."

"Hey!" Jon interjected brusquely. His daughter's comment stung. "Julia, I don't want to hear you talk about him like that" His countenance softened as he caught the hurt look on her face. "He's been through an awful lot in life. I know you don't understand and I'm sorry about that. I really am."

"Fine." Sulkily, she let go of her dad and flounced down in the seat next to him. She changed the subject, but only slightly. "So at least tell me why he dislikes me so much? Did I do something', or does he just hate kids?" She was determined to get in a final dig at her absentee brother.

Jon was about to reprimand her when Cory rescued her. "Jules," he said sympathetically. "It isn't you personally. Or Grayson or Jamie or Bella or Riley or Auggie. It's what you all represent. When Shawn sees you kids he sees what he's missed out on. He sees what he doesn't have- a family of his own."

Julia wasn't impressed. She looked at her father. "We're his family," she stated flatly.

"Yes, we are," Jon responded with a small smile, grateful that she recognized that much. He didn't want her to be resentful of this peculiar situation. "I just don't know that Shawn believes that."

There was a lull in the conversation as everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Topanga chewed on her bottom lip before breaking the silence with what she knew needed to be said.

"It's more than that," She caught Jon's gaze. He regarded her inquisitively.

"What else is there?" Cory asked, curious himself.

"I've been trying to tell you this all along." She placed her hand on top of her husband's. "Shawn always believed that somehow he and Angela would end up together no matter how much time went by. It just had to be him and Angela. It's a devastating blow to him to find out she's married to someone else."

She looked at the men to see if they were following her; their attention was fastened on her. She continued, "He doesn't want to lose the last," she raised her hands like she was trying to catch the words she wanted to use. "...the last hope he has for things to work out the way he believes they should. That's his safe place; his place of hope. That hope would be destroyed if two of the most important people in his life also didn't end up together."

Cory frowned, trying to process what she was saying as realization washed over Jon's face. He closed eyes and lowered his head, resting the bridge of his nose against his thumbs. Julia sat up straight looking bewildered.

Cory shook his head, still a bit unclear about what she was saying.

"He doesn't want to know that Jon didn't marry Audrey," she explained gently.

Cory considered this a moment, then grimaced his understanding.

Jon groaned. "I don't know why that never occurred to me before."

"Topanga," Cory paused a moment, frowning, then continued, "are you sure it's not about the kids?"

"That's a part of it," she agreed with him. "But that's not the main thing."

"Is that because..." Realization began to dawn on Cory too. He closed his eyes. "Because if Jon and Audrey aren't married, then the kids aren't theirs."

"Right." Topanga nodded; thankful he finally understood her.

Cory sighed. "I guess I've just taken things for granted all these years. I honestly forgot about how hard Shawn took Audrey's leaving."

"It wasn't just her leavin'," Jon let out a long breath. They stared at him. He had never told Cory and Topanga about that summer trip into the City. He assumed Shawn had, but now it seemed he had not. "I brought him here right after school ended that year with the idea that if we went to see Audrey, she would come back with us. I asked her to marry me then and she said no. I don't think Shawn's ever forgiven her for that." He pressed his lips in a thin line as he furrowed his brow. "Or me for not fightin' harder for her."

The older man smiled morosely and shook his head. "Shawn believed love was all you needed - nothin' else mattered. I tried to tell him life wasn't like that, but thanks to you two..." he gave Cory and Topanga a Look. "...for settin' an impossibly unrealistic standard for relationships, he wouldn't listen. I got his hopes and mine up too much before that trip." The look of intense sadness on his face caused Julia to give a short cry of concern. She threw her arms around her father.

Topanga looked teary-eyed. "You guys, we have to do something to make this right for Shawn."

"How?" Cory asked. "I don't even know where he is or that he would talk to any of us. He's never been this angry with me before."

They sat in silence again trying to come up with some sort of resolution. Suddenly, Jon clapped his hands together, startling the others at the table. His expression was unreadable. "I know who he'll talk to."

Before her aunt or uncle could respond, a deeply worried and confused Julia cut in, "Dad? I don't understand what you guys are talkin' about." She twisted a lock of hair worriedly. "Who are you actually married to?"

Jon laughed. This must be a strange conversation for her to sit through. He put his arm around his daughter and ruffled her hair. "Your mom, kid."

Julia made a face and pulled back from him. Smoothing her hair, she demanded, "What kind of answer is that?!"

For the Matthew's place after dinner, it was quiet and still. From his spot on the couch in the living room, Jon could hear Auggie playing in his room with Julia and her siblings. Riley was in her room with Maya supposedly doing homework but probably not. Cory and Topanga had stepped out to run errands while he watched the kids and waited for an important phone call.

He glanced at the clock.

6:58 P.M.

He let his mind drift to that summer that ended up altering his relationship with Shawn permanently. The years had gone by so swiftly that Jon rarely thought about that trip to City. It's not that it didn't affect him-it did. It just didn't have the impact on him that it had on Shawn. Audrey's refusing to marry him had wounded that teenager far more than he realized. Those wounds incurred in youth had scarred over but had not healed in adulthood.

In hindsight, Shawn had started to push him away immediately after they returned and never stopped until they reached the impasse they were currently at. Jon sighed in resignation. If only Shawn would hear him out just once, just once, without shutting down and let him explain what happened in the subsequent years. Shawn needed to hear why not marrying Audrey then was the right thing to have happened and Jon needed to tell him why.

The clock turned 7 P.M. and a few seconds later, the room was filled with music as the mellifluous strains of the Nutcracker Suite rang out. That ringtone was set for only one person in his contact list. Jon smiled fondly at the name that lit up his screen for a moment before answering the call.

"Hey you."

"Hey yourself," returned a warm female voice.

A warmth crept over him at the sound of her voice. "How's it goin'?"

Laughter rang out on the other end. "Oh, fantastic! This has been the best workshop I've ever been a part of!"

"You say that about every workshop, prima ballerina," he smiled, returning her merriment.

"Okay, maybe I do," she admitted. "What's up? Your text made it sound serious. Are the kids okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. The kids are good. It's Shawn."

He heard her suck in her breath. "What's wrong?"

"Cory made him meet with me."

"I take it that it didn't go well."

"It went about as bad as it possibly could go." He then proceeded to tell her what happened at Topanga's.

"Poor Shawn!" She paused a moment. "No idea where he is?"

"Nope. I think the errand Cory wanted Topanga to run with him is actually lookin' for Shawn. Audrey, is there any way you can come back early?"

"I'm done teaching," she said, "but I'll need to arrange someone to take my place in the exhibition."

Relieved, Jon silently let out a breath he had been unconsciously holding. "I'm sorry to do this, Aud. But Shawn needs you." He paused, considering his words. "And so do I."

There was no hesitation on the other end of the line. "I'm on my way, Jonny. I'll be there tomorrow."

Chapter Text

"Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. -Lemony Snicket

He wasn't sure how he ended up moving from the shop across the street into the Hotel itself. It certainly wasn't his intent to ever step foot inside the Library again, but he was, sitting on the bed of Room 800.002 surrounded by mementos of Classic Fiction. The room seemed different than when he was last there. No doubt there had been some remodeling done in the years since, but the exact changes he couldn't put his finger on. He sat still, studying the walls, with his hands gripping his knees.

Now what?

Shawn let out a heavy sigh and stood up. As he did, he could swear he heard a ghost of laughter behind him as memories of him, Cory, and Frankie driving Mr. Williams crazy flooded his mind.

Wait-Mr. Williams? That wasn't right...why had they been with Eli and not Jon? Shawn frowned trying to recall the details. He turned to look behind him, half-hoping the answer would be there. It was not, of course.

His shoulders drooped momentarily before he shook himself and got busy unpacking the bag he had with him. He wasn't sure how long he would stay. That depended on how long it took to retrieve his things and ID from the Matthews' place, preferably without dealing with Cory. Shawn let out a huff of frustration. At least he had his phone with his digital wallet on it and the Hotel accepted that form of payment. Focusing on the task at hand with more intensity than was necessary, he put away his clothes and the few other things he carried with him. One of those items was a large box with rubber bands wrapped around it to keep the top on. Inside was a collection of letters that had never been opened. With the last item out, Shawn lifted the duffle bag to put it away. Something heavy rolled inside it. He frowned and set the bag back on the bed. He reached inside and smiled as his hand enclosed around cool rounded glass. He pulled out an old, worn snow globe with the Statue of Liberty inside; it was the one thing that went with him wherever he went. Shawn continued to smile, but the more he looked at the globe the sadder his smile became.

Did you know that Jon married the nurse who took care of him after his accident?"

He watched the snow, yellowed with time, fall on the American symbol of freedom. Shawn was everything but free. He felt trapped, like he was imprisoned in a very tiny cell the walls of which were closing in on him.

How could you, Jon? he wondered in despair. How could you?

A weight like heavy ice punched him in the gut and settled there. Shawn felt cold and hot at the same time. Emotions, so mixed together he couldn't separate them to name them, swallowed him. The only thing he could think to do in times when he felt like this was to run.

Jon sat alone in a dimly lit room of his home that was never used. A retro looking metal lamp sitting on the corner of an old desk provided the only illumination in the space. All the furnishings in the room appeared to be from the late 90s rather than anything modern. The colors, the décor, the family photos of father and son, the report cards, the posters, the large window that was perfect for climbing out of: everything about the room declared it belonged to a 15- or 16-year-old boy.

None of Jon's sons were teenagers.

He stared at the wall opposite him, the one the dresser with the combination TV/VCR on top set against. A stack of VHS tapes and some DVDs sat on what little space that wasn't taken up by the television set- all of them unused. Above the TV was a photo, its color faded with age- a family photo styled to look like the 1920s. On the floor next to the dresser was an original PlayStation with a library of games stacked up as high as the console, all relics of a past that never was. His boys had often asked to play with it.  But they had their own, newer models; they weren't allowed to touch this one.

His boys.

Two of them were in their shared room that was always in use and would be for years to come. As for the third one...

The third one was actually the first. The one who wouldn't see him. The one he was almost certain now would never call again.

He stared at the dark carpet wondering where he went so wrong; where he had missed the opportunity to right the wrong. He mulled all this over for the umpteenth time. There was never a week that went by that he didn't sit in that room and go over the past again and again.

Perhaps it was time to accept reality as it was and not as he wanted it to be.

Perhaps it was finally time to convert the room into a proper guestroom. It was apparent that the room in its current state would ever be used.

After hours of wandering the streets of New York City without any purpose or destination, Shawn ended up back at the Library quite by accident. It was late afternoon and without anything to do he decided that camping out in the lobby and reading was better than aimlessly roving or going back to a room filled with too many blurry memories. The bookcases that lined the lobby were fascinating in and of themselves. His travels had gifted him with a love of reading, hadn't they? Or was it that his travels cultivated the seeds that had been planted in him for literature by another? Shawn bit his bottom lip, refocusing on the leather-bound tomes in front of him and ignoring everything else. Time slipped by him, so he wasn't sure how long he had been standing there when he heard a voice behind him say,

"Shawn."

He froze. At the sound of his name, he felt like the world had come to a sudden, sickening halt. His hand was glued to the book it was pulling off the shelf. His feet turn to lead and would not move. Only his heart seemed to have any life to it and it was screaming loud and fast in his ears.

"Shawn."

Surely, his ears were deceiving him. He could not possibly be hearing what he thought he was. That voice was so familiar even though it had been so long since he'd heard it call his name. That voice simply could not be the one he was actually hearing.

"Shawn."

Somehow, he managed to will himself to turn. Now he was face to face with the voice. Shawn discovered that his eyes were also playing tricks on him because the person standing before him simply could not be there.

And yet, she was.

Seventeen years had passed them by and while it could be said that life he lived was etched into his face those same years had been exceedingly kind to her. Gray eyes smiled tenderly at him, filled with such affection that Shawn found it hard to breathe. Her fiery hair was much shorter than he remembered, grazing the bottom of her shoulder blades instead of her waist. Her clothes were simple, neat, and tidy like she had always been. She wore skinny jeans and ballet flats because of course she would. It was obvious she still danced. His gaze caught on the top she was wearing and the peculiar way it hung around her waist. He looked back up at her face. His heart leapt. Seventeen years dissolved in an instant.

Audrey!

She was older, but somehow, looked so much better than she did back then.

Healthy, Shawn realized, she looks healthy.

His cheeks began to hurt and he discovered he had been staring at her with an impossibly goofy smile. Her own smile widened into a grin.

Oh, Audrey!

Shawn dropped the book he was holding and nearly knocked down an older man to get to her. But he didn't care. He was no longer in his thirties; he was fifteen again and no one was going to stand in his way of getting to her. He was trembling so hard when he grabbed her into the biggest bear hug he could manage that he didn't know if he could stop shaking.

"You came back," he said over and over, hugging her tighter.

"Of course, I did, Shawn," she hugged him back just as tight. "I always come back."

Her voice was like an anchor in his soul, pulling him back down to the earth, and grounding him. He continued to hug her, fighting back the urge to cry that was gripping him. It was as he was holding her that he suddenly understood why her tunic top hung around her waist that way it was. That ice that had been in his stomach was back and encased him completely. He let go of her and jumped back like he had been burned and backed away from her.

"Shawn?" She blinked in confusion at his sudden change. He looked upset with her, almost angry yet inexplicably forlorn at the same time.

"You're pregnant." He stated flatly, pointing at her in accusation.

"Yes." She regarded him for a moment trying to gauge why it disturbed him so. "I'm not that old, you know," she gently teased, hoping the playfulness in her response would put it him at ease.

It did not. Shawn backed up further until he was against the bookcase behind him. The lobby was suddenly empty of people and the silence was now suffocating to him.

"Why does that bother you?"

"Because..." He glanced around looking for a way out that didn't involve going near her again. There was none.

The look of tolerant love on her face unnerved him. He wanted nothing more than to run to her again and pretend that no time had passed. It would have been so easy to do, too, if it was not for that rude intrusion of reality that was between them in the form of new life. He looked back at her imploringly. "I can't do this, Audrey. I just can't."

Audrey was quiet. Shawn had the strange feeling that she knew what he was thinking and why. She didn't move towards him, she only held his gaze.

"Jon sent me."

"No!" He held his hands up as though to stop her words from reaching him. He already determined that he knew what she was going to say, and he could not bear it. He knew why Jon sent her and it wasn't fair. Jon knew he couldn't say no to talking to her. "Please, Audrey! I don't want to know!"

"Oh, Shawn," she sighed. She could tell by the look on his face he was shutting down. Words would not reach him, no matter what they were.

Her eyes suddenly lit up as though an idea struck her. Shawn watched her suspiciously. He saw her reach into her purse and he wondered if he should take advantage of her distraction and escape. But he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her presence was so surreal he was still not sure if she existed in the same time and space he did. Maybe he had gone back to his room after all and fallen asleep. Maybe this was just a dream.

He prayed this was just a dream.

He was lost in his thoughts until her raised eyebrows and expectant look made him refocus. She was holding a card out to him. Cautiously, he inched forward far enough to take the card but not far enough that she could catch hold of him. She had given him her driver's license. Immediately, he understood why and started shaking his head. He tried to give it back to her, but she refused.

"Read it, Shawn."

"No," he responded defiantly. "I won't." His eyes felt pulled back down to the card. Horrified, he was unable to stop himself from doing what she told him to do.

He stared at the name on the card. His eyesight blurred and he broke out into a cold sweat. He read the name over and over again. Then the address. He knew the address; he had a box full of letters and cards from that address. Again and again, he read the text over. But, like trying to read a language he didn't know, Shawn couldn't comprehend what the card was telling him. It conflicted with everything he knew to be true. It agreed with everything he had hoped for and dreamed about.

What kind of cruel trick was this?

He looked up and found her smiling weakly at him, clearly worried. He looked at the name again.

"Audrey." His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he read. "Audrey..."

He looked up at her in disbelief.

"Turner?"

She nodded, relieved to finally get through to him. "For the last 17 years," she softly informed him.

His head spun, thoughts and emotion swirled at a dizzying rate. "I don't understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to sort through everything he thought he knew. "Cory said Jon married his nurse."

"Yeah, about that," Audrey sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. She relaxed from the tense pose she had been holding. "When Jon was in the hospital, I didn't exactly, how can I say it?" She flashed Shawn an embarrassed smile. "I didn't exactly defer to the nurses' experience or education when it can to taking care of him. I read everything I could about motorcycle accidents and head trauma and physical therapy and made sure to let his medical staff know what I knew. And then told them what to do and how to do it." She laughed at herself. "So the nurses started to call me Nurse Audrey and would say it rather sarcastically to each other and to me when I got particularly obnoxious. Which was often. It wasn't exactly a term of endearment." She shook her head in amusement and winked at Shawn who was beginning to smile. "Jon and Cory thought it was hysterical. Especially Jon. I only let it go because of that concussion he sustained." She shook her head in mild annoyance. "I never want to hear that joke again!"

When Shawn cracked a smile, Audrey took a step towards him. "Do you mind if we sit, Shawn?" She put her hand on her stomach. "This one's been quite active today and I'm tired."

"Oh yeah, of course." Shawn tripped over himself to give her the help she didn't really need.

They sat on a plush couch in silence for a bit. Shawn felt muddled. Everything was upside down. Jon and Audrey were married. They had been for a long time. Longer than Cory and Topanga. He was floored by this revelation. He should have be ecstatic, but he wasn't. Now that he knew what he wanted all along was real, he felt sick. All this time he had been constantly on the move, they had been together. All the calls he ended suddenly could have continued. All the letters he never opened could have been read. When his boyhood dream came true, and he was the only one who didn't know it; the only one who didn't get to be a part of it. Shawn closed his eyes and hung his head as the realization of everything he had surely missed because of his tenacious stubbornness and pride. And fear...

"What a person believes to be true is more important than what actually is."

Shawn blinked. Who had told him that? Jon? Mr. Feeny? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore.

A cool, slim hand wrapped around his sweaty one.

"I've missed you so much, Shawn."

He looked into her stormy eyes with a strangled expression of guilt, embarrassment, and regret.

"So has Jon."

Shawn didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. After a while, Audrey squeezed his hand.

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me? Anything you want to know?"

Yeah, thought Shawn. How disappointed in me is Jon?

He quickly decided he didn't want to know. She was still patiently waiting for him to respond. He frowned as he tried to think of something neutral to ask. Her career, maybe? The same tired, old conversation he always had with Jon? No, not that over again. So he said, "You've been married 17 years? How? I would have still been in high school, I think."

"You were," she confirmed.

"So wait," Shawn leaned forward trying to do the math. "Seventeen years...seventeen years would mean you got married before Jon's accident? Oh, that's not right." He gave her a sheepish look. "I'm not any better at math now than I was then, I guess."

She gave a light laugh. "You're right, actually. We did get married before his accident. Quite a bit before."

That absolutely did not compute and added to Shawn's already deep confusion. "Huh?"

"We were married the summer after I left Philadelphia. The summer you and Jon came to see me."

Shawn stared at her his mouth slightly open. "No, wait," he turned fully towards her. She must be wrong. "No, I was there. You said no. You said no every time he asked you."

"Yes," she acknowledged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Then. But Jon came back and he asked me again. I didn't say no the second time."

"He never told me he went back." Shawn felt more than a little betrayed and hurt by his former guardian's actions. But at the same time, they weren't really talking at that point, so it was no wonder Jon didn't ask him to go.

"You were traveling with your father," she reminded him. "He didn't think it was a good idea to disrupt that. Not when he didn't know for sure how I'd respond."

"So you said yes. What happened next?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah. I do."

She gave him a secretive smile and shook her head.

"Ask Jon."

Shawn inhaled deeply. So that was the catch. He grimaced and stared down at his hand intertwined with hers. All these years, his mentor had tried so hard to reach him and all he did was push him away with unfounded accusations and untrue beliefs. Even if he never actually spoke those things aloud to him; they were what caused him to react the way he did. Every negative emotion rose within him. Shawn felt like he was being smothered. All that wasted time. He closed his eyes. He knew he could never face Jon again. This time for a completely different reason.

"I can't," he croaked.

"Because you think he won't forgive you?"

He looked up at her sharply, wondering how she knew. He inhaled deeply and said, "I've been awful to him, Audrey. You don't even know what I've put him through."

"I do, a little."

He gave a bemused snort. He had already forgotten that his beloved "parents" were married. Of course, she knew. She'd always known. He was the one who hadn't.

"I always felt like he was cheatin' on you," he admitted, feelin' foolish considering the truth but desperate to explain himself. "I was so angry at him, even though he did nothin' wrong. I hated every woman he brought home after you left. Everyone I thought he took home after I left." He hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. His eyes were wide with unspoken apologies.

Audrey smiled. "I know about them, Shawn," she assured him. "We talked regularly after I went back. I knew he was dating."

"They were awful," he said empathically.

Her full laughter filled the space they were in. "You need ask him why he chose who he did."

Shawn didn't really feel like smiling but couldn't help himself. He took her hand between both of his and held onto her like his life depended on her. "I am so sorry, Audrey," his voice broke and he was near tears. "I was so terrible to you the last time I saw you. I said such horrible things."

"And every one of them was forgiven long ago."

Her assurance did not alleviate the guilt he felt, but some of load on his heart was lifted just by speaking those words to her.

"I understood you, Shawn. I never held anything you said against you. I hated the situation as much as you and Jon did."

There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but they were all jumbled up and he really needed time to sort through everything that was happening. "I couldn't stand the thought of you and Jon not ending up together. It was worse than Cory and Topanga not being together. I thought if you and Jon couldn't make it, there was no hope for me." The words gushed out and continued faster than he could think. "I lost so much, and I was afraid to lose more."

He bowed his head.

"Angela's married."

Audrey placed her free hand on top of his. "I know. She came to see us before she met with you."

Shawn contemplated this for a while, acutely aware that everyone that had been in his life at some point knew about Jon and Audrey. He turned his head towards her. "That's why I didn't want to meet with Jon at Topanga's. I just couldn't..." his voice trailed off.

"Handle any more heart break," she finished.

Shawn nodded.

"I was so angry with Jon for leavin' the City without you," he went on, back in the past again. "I was angry with you for not comin' with us. I honestly didn't care about your dad in that moment. I never thought about what you were goin' through and only cared about what I wanted." Deep remorse marred his features. "When I lost my dad, I couldn't stop thinkin' about you and what you went through; how long you had to watch him suffer."

"You were a kid," she said firmly. "A kid who had been through more than any kid should ever have to go through. We knew you felt you finally found a home with us- Jon wanted nothing more than to give you what you wanted."

"So why didn't you say yes then? Work things out later?"

"Because life isn't a TV drama," she joked, trying to get him to relax. "Did Jon tell you he was going to ask me to marry him before you guys came to see me?"

"No," Shawn admitted, realizing he had never thought about it before. No, he could not recall Jon ever mentioning marriage. Just that they were going to get Audrey and bring her home. He never mentioned how he planned to do that.

"That's because he had no intention of doing it. It was a last ditch effort to get me to go back and I knew it." She paused a moment before continuing. "It was much different the second time around."

"I wish I'd known," he said quietly.

"So did we."

Shawn shook his head and frowned. "I was still in school. Jon was still my teacher. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you?"

"You need to ask him that."

"Why can't you tell me?" he groused.

"Because you need to hear it from him." She gave him a pointed look.

Shawn was quiet, staring at the floor again.

"Don't think I can't understand why you pushed Jon away or chose to live the life you have," she told him, releasing his hand. She put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand the fear and confusion that comes with repeatedly losing everything and everyone you love."

The gravity in her voice caused him to look up.

"I lost my mother when I was thirteen. I lost my dance scholarship to Julliard. I lost countless friends from being in and out of the hospital because of an eating disorder. I watched my father suffer for years. My dad's family had little to do with us; my mum's family were all in England. Then I finally caught a break and had something good happened with Jon, with you. My life was finally going right. Then my student teaching ended suddenly, I'm back in the hospital, and I lost you both."

She regarded Shawn with wide eyes that were a tempestuous gray now. It was a look he recognized as he had seen it in the mirror many times before.

"Three days after I finally lost my dad, I get a call saying my husband's been in a serious motorcycle accident and is in critical condition; he may not make it. And the worst part was, I couldn't come back and be with him because of everything that had to be done after Dad's death and there was no one else to do it. I had no one to help me."

Shawn squeezed the hand he was still holding her tightly at the sight of her pained expression. His heart ached that she had to go through that alone.

"There wasn't anyone you could go to?"

She smiled morosely. "I didn't think there was, but that wasn't true. The Matthews, Eli, and Mr. Feeny were there from the beginning, I just didn't want help. I didn't want anyone around him, either. I was pretty awful to everyone who tried to be there: Alan and Amy, George. Eli was afraid of me for a while, I think. I was especially terrible to the nurses. I was so afraid I couldn't accept help from anyone. If anyone tried to, I couldn't stand it. Their help gave me time to think. And if I started to think I would break down. I pulled away from everyone until I finally hit rock bottom. Hard."

She slipped her arm through his and inhaled deeply before continuing. It was obvious that she didn't like to recall those days, but she did it for him.

"For two weeks, I hadn't left Jon's side for anything. Then one day was a particularly bad day for him and I broke. I stepped out of his room and just sank to the floor. I felt nothing, I was so numb. I couldn't ask for help even thought I'd reached the point where I desperately needed it."

Those words stuck a chord in Shawn; that numbness was something he was well acquainted with.

"I felt these tweed covered arms go around my shoulders," she hugged his arm tightly. "And I lost it. I've never cried so hard in my life. I don't know how long Mr. Feeny sat there with me on that cold floor, but he did. I had a lot of years of crying in me and he sat with me until I was through."

Shawn smiled slightly as he thought about all that Mr. Feeny had done for him. "Mr. Feeny's always there when you need him."

Audrey nodded in agreement. "Always."

"That should have been me, though," he said with a deep sigh of regret. "If I had just kept going back to see Jon, I would have been there for you and him. I would have known about you guys and then all this time wouldn't have been wasted."

"Oh, Shawn," Audrey shook her head fiercely. "Don't do that to yourself. We can't change the past and dwelling on it constantly doesn't do anyone any good. It just ruins the present"

Shawn fell silent. He didn't know how to explain his feelings to her, he couldn't even explain them to himself.

"You need to forgive yourself, Shawn." When he said nothing, Audrey continued, "You and Jon are so much alike."

This got his attention. "What do you mean?"

"He's been carrying around so much regret and remorse. And he still hasn't fully forgiven himself for the mistakes he made with you. He didn't want kids for the longest time because he was terrified of making those mistakes over or making worse ones."

Shawn looked at her baffled. He couldn't think of a single thing Jon had done that was that bad. They'd had their ups and down, sure. Mistakes were made, yes. But although Shawn could easily compile several books on what he did to damage their relationship, he couldn't come up with anything his mentor had done. "What mistakes did he make that were that bad?"

She shrugged, arched an eyebrow, and gave him a meaningful look.

"Ask him." Shawn beat her to saying it.

"You got it."

Shawn found himself shaking his head again. "I feel like I've lost so much. I've wasted so much time. It feels too late."

"What's too late?"

"Us: to have the family I always wanted as a kid." His mouth twisted into a pained expression. "To have my own family as an adult."

"How old are you now, Shawn?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.

"Thirty-three. Almost thirty-four."

"That's interesting," she mused. "You do know that Jon was thirty-two when he took you in. He was thirty-three when I met him. He was thirty-four when we got married. I wouldn't say it's too late."

As Shawn considered this, Maya Hart came to mind suddenly. He was thirty-two when he met her. Thoughts of his date with her mother joined in. He was thirty-three when he met Katy. He frowned. In a very strange way, it was almost like he'd come full circle to be standing in the shoes of the man who had so heavily influenced his life.

Almost. There was still too much damage to undo.

Audrey raised a hand to his temple and brushed back his hair in an affectionate, motherly gesture. "Do you remember when you came up here with Jon to see me and stayed with me instead of at the hotel with him? Do you remember the room you stayed in?"

He smiled at the memory. "Yeah, the one with the nice window and big tree outside?"

She nodded. "That house was my inheritance. That house was one of the main reasons we moved back to the City. When we did, Jon insisted we keep that room for you. It's still there, any time you want it."

Shawn didn't know what to think. The thought that Jon still wanted him even after all he'd put the man through was overwhelming. Even more overwhelming was the understanding that all the times he thought he had no home, he actually did. Once again grief washed over him. His vision became cloudy. Suddenly, the space next to him became very cold. He looked around startled. Audrey had left his side and was standing in front of him, looking at him expectantly.

"Come on, Shawn. Let's go home."

He looked up at her, eyes enormous with unspoken vexation and doubt.

"I'm not ready."

"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." ―Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

Chapter Text

Friday was the start of a four-day weekend. Such weekends were typically packed full of extracurricular activities for his kids and his wife leaving Jonathan Turner with little time to think and even less time to relax. And yet he lived for these breaks from the mundane grind of work and dealing with adults who often acted like spoiled children.

This weekend, however, was quite a bit different. Julia's figure skating lessons and freestyle skate had taken place far too early that morning and she was done until Monday. Grayson had stick and puck at 6 that evening, but that was several hours away. Because of the situation with Shawn, nothing else had been scheduled and the lack of activity was so unusual that it was beginning to bother Jon. He wasn't sure what to do other than worry.

The last time he heard from Audrey was early that morning. She had gotten back into town Thursday morning from her prenatal dance workshop in Chicago and they had spent the time after-school with Cory and Topanga tracking down Shawn. During that time, Grayson ran his mother's phone battery downplaying Mine Craft. This wasn't discovered until she texted him that night to let him know she was with Shawn and that she didn't have a charger with her. She called from the Hotel just before they left for Julia's skating lesson that morning to tell him she had a few things to do before coming home. That was hours ago. It was now after two in the afternoon.

She's probably still with Shawn, he assured himself. He'll take care of her.

A loud howl in his ear distracted him from his concerns. He grimaced and resumed an attempt to rock his youngest daughter to sleep. The toddler wailed harder and physically fought him as he tried to lay her in a horizontal position in his arms. Though exhausted, the child was determined not to nap. Her lungs were strong and so was she.

I'm getting too old for this, he thought in dismay.

A noise from down the hall intermingled with cries of weariness. He was unsure what it was he was hearing. He went downstairs, stepped into the family room, and looked around. The boys were watching YouTube videos, but it didn't sound like it was coming from that. He was about to return to the nursery with the still struggling toddler when the sound rang again. This time he heard it clearly.

It was the doorbell.

He frowned and tried to adjust Bella into a better, more secure position, but all he managed to do was get smacked in the cheek. This was not the time for visitors. Moreover, anyone he might have wanted to see already had a key: the Matthews, his wife.

Audrey, where are you? he wondered. He considered ignoring whoever was at the door. Bella may not have wanted to take a nap, but he did. Upon turning around to head back upstairs, Jon found his sons looking at him inquisitively.

"You want me to get that, Dad?" asked Grayson, pausing the video he and his brother were watching.

Jamie promptly un-paused it.

"No, I'll get it," he said tiredly as the boys started to squabble over whether the video should be stopped or not. With his frustrated daughter on his hip, Jon opened the door with an expression that mirrored Bella's. His countenance froze as he stared at the unexpected visitor. Slowly, frustration dissolved into shock. He felt as though his ability to move had been frozen. The person on the other side of the door was not one he ever thought he would see again.

The sudden shift in her father's demeanor caused Bella to stop crying long enough to see what was going on. She looked at the stranger with large brown eyes and a messy tear-stained face. She sniffled loudly. Sudden shyness overcame her, and she buried her face in her father's neck, hanging onto him as tightly as she could.

Shawn Hunter was standing on the doorstep with a canvas duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

Audrey stood back a distance from the doorway watching the meeting between Shawn and her husband. She had spent most of the night talking to Shawn and going through the letters Jon had written to him over the years. Although he ultimately agreed to go home with her, he was still very much on edge; an anxiety that dramatically increased the closer they got to the Greenwich brownstone. Now, as he stood face to face with his former guardian, she could see him getting antsy. Her husband's stunned lack of response and the sobbing child in his arms wasn't helping to put Shawn at ease.

Audrey couldn't help but smile a bit; those two really could be father and son with the way they reacted to things, what they said, and didn't say, the sarcasm- especially the sarcasm. Left to their own devices, she knew they would end up standing there until Bella had enough without saying much of anything and that would be that. So she stepped up behind Shawn and placed a hand on his back, letting him know that she was with him and there was nowhere to go but forward.

"Shawn's staying with us."

Her voice helped to break Jon out of his paralysis. He looked at her with incredulity and seemed to be struggling to process what she said. Looking back at Shawn he finally managed a hoarse, "Great. That's great. Come on in."

With a gentle push, Shawn stepped inside and exhaled the breath he'd been holding. Rather than allow the silence to continue, Audrey began to talk as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Ooo, it looks like someone's fighting a nap," she cooed to Bella, reaching out and smoothing her auburn curls. Immediately, the little girl reached out to her mother and her father reluctantly let her go. Unease settled into Jon's features after Bella left him. He now had nothing between him and Shawn and the awkwardness that was looming.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get a hold of you and let you know we were coming," Audrey apologized, settling Bella on her hip and removing the lock of hair her daughter had fastened in her little fist. "Both of our phones died and neither of us had a charger."

"Yeah," Shawn lit up in response to her. "Cory's got that, too."

Jon gave a shaky laugh, trying to regain his composure. "What doesn't he have of yours?"

Shawn lifted his bag and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "But I'm pretty sure it's missin' some stuff."

For the moment, the atmosphere shifted to that of bygone years with the three of them standing together and talking. Audrey smiled to herself and decided that now was the time to step out.

"I am going to put this one to bed whether she wants to go or not." She playfully bopped Bella on the nose. As she did she noticed the two little gawkers standing behind Jon. She motioned to Grayson and Jamie, saying, "Boys, take Shawn's bag up to his room, please. And no going through it."

The boys nodded absently, their gaze locked onto Shawn with wide eyes full of reverence as though he was some favorite fictional character that had come to life and was standing in their home. Jamie unabashedly stared at him with his jaw fully unhinged, while Grayson, who was far more reserved and self-conscious, shyly stepped out to take the bag with no eye contact, just stolen glances of admiration.

"Thanks, guys," Shawn offered, feeling extremely uncomfortable about the looks of wonder he was getting from the young boys. Nothing about him was so spectacular that it should provoke such a reaction.

Delighted that he spoke to them, the ten-year-old and the six-year-old gaped at each other in excitement. They swung their gaze back at Shawn with big grins before scurrying off.

Audrey slipped her arm around Jon's waist and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I'm going to get started on dinner in a little while. We'll eat early since Grayson has hockey tonight." She turned her head to look at the younger man. "Shawn, are you hungry?"

"If you're cookin' I'll eat," he grinned, forgetting where he was for a moment as the memories of all the times Audrey cooked for them at Jon's place came flooding back. Suddenly, he was very hungry.

She returned his smile and turned to her husband. As she hugged him, she whispered, "He's going to stay so just talk to him."

Jon nodded his understanding, and she kissed him before heading off to put Bella down for her nap, leaving the two men alone in the living room.

Shawn looked around the once familiar place not really seeing anything. He desperately wanted to say something, but the words simply would not come out. His thoughts flitted over the conversation he had had with Audrey late into the night. He had so many questions, but most of them she refused to answer, always responding with "ask Jon". Now those questions darted through his mind so swiftly that he could not pin any of them down.

Jon watched the younger man steadily as indescribable emotion crashed over him. He was still struggling to believe this was real; that Audrey had done what even Cory couldn't do and brought Shawn home. Shawn's gaze finally rested on him, and Jon could see uncertainty and trepidation in those eyes that had trouble locking onto his. He saw him nervously twist the sleeve of his leather jacket between his fingers. He knew he needed to say something; to take charge of the situation; to diffuse it, but the words would not come to him.

As Jon looked at his former student, all he wanted to do was to forget the past and move forward with a fresh start. When Shawn looked away from him again, he finally cleared his throat and stepped towards him. Quietly, he said,

"Shawn."

The younger man looked up swiftly, almost startled. He saw his mentor step forward with open arms. Shawn hesitated, knowing what would happen if he accepted the embrace. The image of Mr. Feeny holding Audrey as she cried came to him. She said that it wasn't until she was able to break down that she could finally ask for and accept help.

Shawn inhaled deeply, not sure if he was ready to break. In fact, he was positive that he wasn't, so it came as quite a surprise to him that he was having trouble seeing. His former teacher seemed to be standing behind a watery curtain. He realized then that fighting was useless. So Shawn stopped thinking, stumbled forward, and fell into Jon's embrace. It wasn't long before he was unable to distinguish his cries from Bella's.

"Soooo... I hear the great Shawn Hunter is in the house." a sarcastic voice quipped into the darkened room.

Audrey turned the swivel glider in Bella's room around to face the nursery door with a look of admonition on her face. Standing in the doorway was her oldest daughter with an expression of contempt marring her features.

"Excuse me?" Audrey snapped in a low voice not wanting to wake the toddler that had finally drifted off to sleep. "What's with the attitude?"

Julia shrugged and shoved her hands in her pockets. "Grayson and Jamie won't shut up about Shawn. They say he's in the livin' room with Dad."

"Keep your voice down, please." Audrey frowned. Julia had been in quite a foul mood for the past several days according to Jon, moodily snapping at pretty much everyone. Her patience with her brothers was particularly thin. While she might have simply been in teenager mode, Audrey suspected that something else was brewing.

She gently and cautiously stood up with the sleeping Bella in her arms. Gingerly, she made her way over to the child's bed and even more carefully placed her on the mattress. Bella stirred for a moment, turned over, and latched onto a stuffed dolphin in her bed. Audrey let out a sigh of relief when she didn't wake up. She laid a light cover over the girl, turned towards her other daughter and shooed her out of the room.

"You wake her, you put her back to sleep," Audrey informed her, quietly closing the door behind them. They walked down the hallway a bit before she turned on Julia. "Care to tell me what's with you?"

Julia glared at the carpet. "I just don't get the hype," she muttered sullenly.

Audrey folded her arms over her stomach. "Julia, we've told you all about Shawn. You know why this is such a big deal."

"So what am I supposed to do? Pretend he hasn't made Dad miserable all these years? Put on a happy face," she bore her teeth in an exaggerated grin and shook her hands in the air, "do a happy dance and pretend nothin' ever happened?"

"No," her mother replied strongly. "But you could put a little effort into getting to know him and reserve judgment until then." Audrey softened a bit. "Give him a little bit of grace, huh? This isn't easy for anyone. And maybe try not to take it so personally."

Glumly, Julia picked at her nails. "So how long is he stayin'?"

"For a while, I hope."

"Great," Julia rolled her eyes. "It's not like I have to share Dad with three," she glanced at her mother, "make that four kids. Now Shawn's goin' to get whatever time he has left. And he hardly has any to begin with since he became superintendent!"

So that was it.

Audrey narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She should have realized that jealousy was the cause of this verbal assault on Shawn. Jon's promotion to the head of the New York school district two years prior had significantly decreased his amount of free time. Out of all the kids, it hit Julia the hardest. She was the one who was the most like him and, although she would no longer admit it, she was still a daddy's girl. Julia was also struggling to accept that, within a few short months, there would be another child in the house contending for Jon's attention. Naturally, she didn't want Shawn around; he was more competition.

"You know," Audrey said softly, "I remember a time when you wouldn't shut up about Shawn. I do believe that phase lasted years."

Julia rolled her eyes and harrumphed, "I was just a dumb kid; what did I know?"

"Your dad needs this." Audrey tried a different tactic, this time appealing to the love she had for her father. "Repairing this relationship is incredibly important to him." She watched for a glimmer of change in her daughter and continued, "Yes, Shawn will take the front seat with your dad for a while. But it won't last forever."

The girl's shoulders dropped, and she shifted her weight to one side. With a defeated look she shrugged and mumbled something that sounded like, "Whatever."

Audrey ignored the comment and brushed stray strands of her daughter's wavy hair out of her face. "If you think for a moment your dad would trade you shadowing his every move for anything, you are so wrong. Shawn isn't going to replace you. That's not possible."

Immediately, Audrey saw that she had struck a nerve as Julia's eyes teared up and she angrily wiped at them with the back of her sleeve.

"Aw, hun," she pulled her daughter into a hug. "You are incredibly blessed to have never known life without your dad. You've got the absolute best. Shawn had that for a very short time and then lost it. Imagine what that would be like."

"It'd be pretty terrible," she admitted, tightening her grip on her mother.

"Try to get along with Shawn, please? For your dad?"

At that, Julia gave her mother the smallest of smiles as she nodded. Audrey held her face between her hands and lifted her head so that they were nose to nose. She arched an eyebrow and winked mischievously at her.

"You never know, you might actually get a brother you like out of all this."

Julia finally laughed.

"I'll trade Grayson and Jamie in a heartbeat!"

Shawn sat on the sofa next to Jon gathering his thoughts. The silence that filled the family room was, for a change, a comfortable one. Not many words had between exchanged between the two, but a tremendous stress had been lifted off both men and they seemed more relaxed than they had been in years.

"Sooo," Shawn drew the word out as he tried to start a more meaningful conversation with Jon. He was actually curious about his former teacher's life now. "Audrey's pregnant."

Jon raised his eyebrows with an expression that indicated he had not fully come to grips with his imminent future. He gave a short laugh and clasped his fingers together. "Yeah."

"Is this the last one?"

"No," he replied strongly. "Number three was the last one."

Shawn gave him a funny look. "What number is this one?"

"Five."

"Whoa!" Shawn exclaimed, genuinely surprised.

"Whoa is right," Jon shook his head. "Not exactly how I planned to start my fifties, but here we are."

"You ready for this?"

"No, but I wasn't ready for the first one either." he laughed. "I just I hope I have the energy for this one."

Shawn found it difficult to reconcile this father of soon-to-be five with being the same man he used to live with; the man that used to struggle dealing with one kid and managing his dating life.

"You really like bein' a dad, don't you?"

Jon pressed his lips together lost in thought, then nodded affirmatively. "You know I never really saw myself havin' kids," he shrugged. "But then we had Julia. I can't even explain it, Shawn. Your whole world changes, your life, your perspective, everythin'. But yeah, I like it." He shot Shawn a familiar sarcastic look. "Obviously."

Jon laughed and Shawn couldn't help but join him. Neither man could remember the last time they laughed together.

"You wanna meet the kids?" Jon asked, jerking his thumb in the direction of the hallway. "They know all about you; you're kind of a celebrity around here."

"Yeah?" Shawn paused. After the reaction he got from the boys, he knew he wasn't ready to deal with that kind of attention just yet. "Maybe later?"

Jon didn't seem bothered by his reluctance. "They can be overwhelmin'. I'll introduce you from a distance. You can take a look around the place too. Things have changed some since you were last here."

Shawn followed his mentor as he headed upstairs to the parlor floor. While there were a lot of memories from his teenage years he either repressed or were foggy, there were two places he would always remember vividly: Jon's apartment in Philadelphia and Audrey's brownstone in New York City. Her's was an old, but well-kept house. As he recalled, there were three levels: the basement, the garden floor, and the parlor floor where the bedrooms were. Probably the most vivid memory Shawn had of the old place was how comfortable he felt there.

"Bein' superintendent must pay well," Shawn commented appreciatively, forgetting that the house was an inheritance.

"Not nearly this well," Jon replied. "This neighborhood is ridiculously expensive now. It was pretty normal when we moved back. As I recall, Audrey's grandparents bought this place for a few thousand dollars originally. It's now worth several million."

"Nice!" Shawn was visibly impressed. "You guys ever think of sellin'?"

"Stop that," Jon admonished, shaking his head fervently with false annoyance. "You sound just like my dad!"

"Ouch!" Shawn grinned, put his hand over his heart, feigning pain. "That's harsh."

Jon laughed. "When my folks found out about how much this place was worth, they would not leave us alone. 'Sell it and invest in your future. Sell so you won't have to struggle all your life'," he said in an exaggerated impression of his father. "They told all their friends about our 'plight', You would've thought we were on the streets so bad off we were gonna have to sell our kids. They even went so far as to send over a financial advisor and a realtor from Sotheby's."

"Like the auction house that sells crazy expensive stuff; that Sotheby's?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Wow, that takes some nerve."

"Too much."

"So no sale?"

"No sale," Jon paused, thoughtfully. "This is a generational home. Audrey's grandparents raised their kids here. Audrey's dad raise her here. We're raisin' our kids here. And my hope is that one of the kids will raise their kids here. And so on."

The concept of a generational home was an foreign idea to Shawn. Such a thing had never crossed his mind given his transient life from such a young age. Briefly, he wondered if he would ever have anything close to a history like that.

"Which kid gets it, though?" he wondered aloud.

Jon arched an eyebrow and sarcastically said, "I'm old, Hunter. By the time that happens I'll be pickin' out a nursing' home. They can fight over it. What do I care?" He smiled then became serious again and said, "We'll figure that out when the time comes. Probably'll go to whoever stays in the City."

Shawn nodded. When they reached the landing of the parlor floor, he asked, "How long have you been back in New York?"

The question came as a surprise to Jon. "Audrey didn't tell you?"

"Audrey wouldn't tell me much of anythin'. She just told me to ask you."

"Ah." Jon paused reflectively. " It's been awhile. We moved after you graduated high school. So summer of '98."

"That long?" It bothered him that no one had ever mentioned this to him. He had often gone back to Philadelphia with Cory on school breaks and not one person thought to tell him that Jon had moved, not even Mr. Feeny. The knowledge stung. Had he given them that much of a reason not to mention his mentor again?

"I wanted to make sure you didn't need a place again," Jon shrugged nonchalantly, trying to make it seem like it was no big deal. But it was a big deal, at least it was to Shawn. "Once I heard you were off to college with Cory, I knew you'd be alright. We found out Audrey was pregnant soon after you graduated, and I got a job offer at a high school not far from here. I dunno. The time was right, I guess. There really wasn't anything left in Philly for us after you left."

Shawn mulled this over as they approached a set of open French doors. The sting of guilt bothered him as he considered that Jon has stuck around for him even though he stopped speaking to him after his junior year. Internally, he cringed. If only he'd gone back just once. Unconsciously, he stopped walking.

Jon glanced over his shoulder with a troubled look. When Shawn saw his concern, he mentally shook himself and said, "You and your parents ever make up?"

"No," the older man said, waiting for Shawn to catch up before continuing on. "I've tried, but they just aren't interested in the lifestyle I live or acknowledgin' the past. They come around for briefs visits maybe once a year if they're in town. Not around enough to get to know their grandkids, though."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not for myself. Not anymore. I wish the kids had their grandparents around. Unfortunately, they've developed my attitude towards them. They really don't care. I mean, my parents are basically nice strangers that buy them stuff they don't want." He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "My mom thought a good Christmas gift for Julia was $100 an ounce perfume because apparently she thinks every fifteen-year-old girl wants to smell like a rich old lady."

Shawn had to smile. "That's pretty bad."

"Yeah," Jon frowned. He was more bothered by the situation than he let on. "They made the choice; it's their loss. But family's what you make it. We've been blessed that Annette and Tom, Audrey's aunt and uncle from England, came over to help us out after my accident. After we moved back to the City, they brought their kids over and stayed for good. They live just a couple of blocks away. They, along with Alan and Amy and even Mr. Feeny, have helped to make up for the lack of grandparents. With Cory, Josh, Eric, Morgan, and Topanga- the aunts and uncles are covered. If you add in Cory and Topanga's kids, there are a ton of cousins now. So it worked out for the best."

It struck Shawn uncomfortably that everyone who was important to him had become so close in his absence. The thought made him cold and he shivered slightly.

Jon stopped outside of a closed white door. "This," he whispered, barely touching the wood of the door with the knuckles of his right hand, "is the room of the cryin' banshee you met at the door, Isabella Marie." He grinned. "She has a Jekyll and Hyde personality when she gets tired. I'd open the door, but no way am I gonna risk wakin' her."

Shawn thought about the crying child that had met him at the door. His experience with older kids was minimal and non-existent with younger one. "How old is she?"

"Two. She'll be three in couple of months."

Shawn nodded, his thoughts wandering back to Jon's comments about family being what you make it. Cory had always been his brother. That, of course, made Topanga his sister. He couldn't ignore that Riley and Auggie, too, were family. For years, he considered them the extent of his family. Yes, Jack was out there, but the brothers had trouble staying in touch. So his family began and ended with Cory and his family.

At least that's what he had always told himself.

He was beginning to understand the depth of which he had misjudged the concept of family. Jon and Audrey were close enough to Cory and Topanga that their kids considered each other cousins and the Matthews their grandparents, if nothing else this would make Jon and Audrey his family by extension. Except that it wasn't nothing else, there was much more.

Shawn felt as though there had been one long family reunion going on through the years that he was not a part of; not because he wasn't invited, but because he had thrown the invitation away. Repressing a sigh, Shawn looked at the family portraits hanging on the wall opposite the nursery door. This was his family. And just like Cory, they always had been. And that would mean it was his sister sleeping behind that door.

Wouldn't it?

Jon watched his former student's reaction carefully, trying to judge if they should move on or not. He wanted to ask Shawn what he was thinking but was worried about pushing too much. Finally, the younger man looked up and said,

"Did Audrey ever get her own classroom? I forgot to ask her."

"Sort of." They continued down the corridor. "She did a lot of subbin' in junior high when we first moved back while I was gettin' my masters in school administration. She stopped for a while after Grayson was born. Durin' that time, she struck up friendships with some of the neighborhood kids, several of whom were interested in dance, but their families couldn't afford the lessons. So she started a campaign to get an after-school program implemented in our school district for these kids and others like them. She used her connections to build an impressive program with a lot of elite guest teachers. She's still doin' that and subbin' on occasion."

They stopped outside of the den where the two boys were playing. Shawn chewed on his bottom lip. There was a question nagging him; one that had been on his mind since he met Audrey in the Library. "Jon, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure, anythin'."

"Why didn't you tell me you went back that summer to see Audrey?"

Jon inhaled deeply. He knew the questions that were coming; he was just hoping they would be delayed awhile. He was afraid his answers wouldn't be enough, and he did not want to risk alienating Shawn again.

"You were with your dad," he said simply. "I didn't think it was a good idea to disrupt your life. Especially since things didn't go very well the first time."

"Audrey said you didn't intend to ask her to marry you when we went up there."

"No," he admitted, "I didn't."

"Did you know she'd say yes when you went back?"

"I had a pretty good idea that she would, yeah."

"Then why didn't you take me with you?"

The pained expression and deep hurt in the younger man's eyes unnerved Jon immensely.

"You weren't my kid!" he said defensively. "No matter how I felt about you, reality was you weren't my kid. I had no right to drag you off to the City again for any reason." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I spent all summer feelin' like you were off with an irresponsible uncle. But you weren't. You were with your dad." A shadow passed over Jon's face and Shawn had trouble reading his expression. "If I had just signed those papers, it would've been a different story."

Shawn blinked in confusion. Was he really feeling guilty about that still? "Jon, we talked that out back then. I understood why you didn't. I mean, yeah, I wanted that. I wanted you and Audrey and me together. But I also wanted my dad. You not signin' those papers- I never held that against you." This was true, to an extent. Shawn didn't want just Jon; he wanted the family he was promised and that included Audrey. But he couldn't bring himself to tell his teacher that.

"Yeah, maybe, you didn't," the older man responded in a low voice. Shawn's reassurance didn't seem to affect him. "But I did."

Shawn didn't know what to say to that. He was caught by surprise that Jon had held such regret. 

That early awkwardness attempted to creep in again, so Jon straightened up and pointed into the upstairs living room.

"Those are two of your greatest admirers," he smiled affectionately at his younger boys. "Grayson Jonathan and Jamie."

Shawn watched his "brothers" playing with Legos. Grayson was building with them and Jamie was destroying what he built.

"What's Jamie's middle name?" he asked as the youngest Turner boy sent the pieces of his brother's newly built boat flying.

Jon gave him a sideways look.

"Shawn."

"What?"

"No, that's it. His middle name is Shawn."

An indignant cry from Grayson interrupted any further conversation. He threw the rest of his half-finished buildings at his brother who shrieked with mischievous glee.

"Are they gonna be okay?" Shawn asked with concern. It looked like a fight could break out. Jamie would most definitely be on the losing end of one as Grayson was quite a bit bigger than him. Shawn couldn't help but feel a little bit of kinship toward his namesake.

"They'll be fine," Jon seemed unperturbed by the shouting. "Unless Grayson gets out his hockey stick. But that's in the basement so if he does get it, by the time he gets down all those stairs he'll forget why he wanted it." Jamie started to turn towards the doorway the men were standing in so Jon said, "If you want to avoid havin' to sign autographs, we'd better get outta here before they see us."

Shawn followed him down the hall, but not before looking back over his shoulder at Jamie. A small smile pulled his mouth upwards. He was actually looking forward to talking to the young boy in the future.

As they neared the end of the hall, Shawn suddenly stopped. Another matter was weighing heavily on him again. Since he had gone this far in asking questions he might as well continue.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Audrey got married? I was still your student. You could have told me."

Jon was silent. He stood with his back to Shawn, hands still in his pockets. His brow was deeply furrowed, and his lips were pressed into a thin anxious line. "Yeah, you were," was all he said. Eventually, he turned around to face the younger man. He was still frowning. "You remember that I got reprimanded for keepin' Audrey's eatin' disorder hidden?"

"Yeah," Shawn said slowly, not making a connection. "I never understood why, though."

"I didn't tell you much about it because you already had enough to worry about. You remember bein' questioned about the time she was spendin' with us outside of class?"

"Yes," he said slowly as the memories came back. "I remember I didn't tell them anythin'. Well, I did, just not the truth."

"They still put two and two together. I was put on probation over that incident: one year, no contact with Audrey."

Shawn's eyes went wide. "No way! Are you serious?"

Jon nodded.

"So when we went to see her, when you went back...?"

"Shouldn't have done it."

"I'm impressed," Shawn said proudly with a grin. "You really broke a lot of rules for her."

Jon shook his head, not sharing in Shawn's appreciation for his dishonesty. "I shouldn't have done any of it. It was stupid and I could've gotten us all in a lot of trouble. I was incredibly selfish and just got lucky that it worked out."

"So why did you do it?"

The older man sighed deeply. "Because after she was gone everythin' went downhill. Then you were gone, too, and I realized that I wanted the same thing you wanted- a real family. I went back for her birthday in July. We got married four days later."

He stared at the wood floor for a moment before meeting Shawn's gaze. "Audrey had graduated by then so her college didn't care about us, but if anyone on the school board at John Adams High had found out-" he let out a low whistle. "I'd have lost my job for sure and probably would have had to find a different profession. So we kept it quiet, which was easy enough. Audrey stayed in the City because of her dad, and I went to see her whenever I could. I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was fair to put that kind of pressure on you to keep our secret. We intended to tell you as soon as the school year was over, but-"

"But then the accident happened," Shawn finished, leaning his back against the wall.

"Yeah."

They fell silent. Shawn realized he never considered what Jon might have been going through during that time. He just thought that he moved on and- no, he didn't think that. In those days, he was only thinking of himself. He didn't stop to think about anyone who wasn't directly in front of him: Cory, Topanga, Jack, Angela.

Angela. A physical pain went through him at the thought of her. He was beginning to hate how the slightest thing could trigger memories of her, of their time together.

Jon watched him closely. After a while he felt like he should say something; Shawn seemed to be getting lost in something that wasn't good. "Shawn, is there anythin' else you wanna know?"

Shawn frowned. Was there? Of course, there was. Plenty. So he was surprised to hear himself blurt out, "Have you met Maya Hart?"

The question was certainly out of left field. Jon couldn't help but wonder where this was going, but he tried not to read anything into the query as he replied, "Yeah, I've met Maya Hart. Boy, have I!"

Shawn perked up at his tone and waited for him to explain. When he didn't say anything more, he prodded expectantly, "Oh, c'mon. You can't say it like that and not give me the story!"

Inhaling deeply, his mentor said, "The first time I met Maya Hart, she accused me of usin' my position of authority to coerce a teacher into a romantic relationship."

"What?" sputtered Shawn. Although, that certainly sounded like Maya, it did not sound at all like Jon.

The superintendent shook his head and shrugged at the same time. "Audrey was doin' a long-term subbin' job for the art teacher who was out with a broken foot. Maya took quite a likin' to her and was very protective of her, not unlike someone I used to know." He shot Shawn a meaningful look before continuing. "I was at the junior high for a conference. It happened to be Valentine's Day so I thought I'd be a good husband and take my wife flowers and lunch. Maya walked into the room just as I was sayin' good-bye."

His dark eyes sparkled with a sarcastic gleam. "That was a fun investigation to have to go through. Kid didn't ask questions or anythin'. Just went straight to the board. She and Riley do everythin' together, but she didn't even bother to run her little plan by her. I still don't know how she managed to bypass Riley, but she did." Jon gave a short laugh. "I can't tell you how many times I've almost lost my job over Audrey."

Shawn laughed as Jon looked annoyed. "I re-met Maya a couple of weeks ago when Cory asked me to look into a situation regardin' a newly fired teacher and she acted like she didn't know me."

"You say anythin' to her?" The younger man couldn't keep a grin off his face.

"Absolutely not."

The thought of Jon's run-in with Maya amused Shawn greatly. Once upon a time, he might have done the same thing if he had ever found himself in the same situation. And didn't know the adults involved of course.

Jon regarded his former charge with great affection. There was something in the younger man's eyes that told him he was thinking about Riley's best friend.

"Why is she on your mind all of sudden?" he ventured, feeling a little bolder than before.

"Who?"

"You know who."

Shawn hesitated; he honestly didn't have an answer to that question. Maya was one of those things he was still very unsure about. His thoughts drifted over everything that had happened in the past 72 hours before settling back on the rebellious blonde.

In that moment, he was overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to repair his relationship with his mentor as he had the feeling, he was going to need Jon's guidance and experience with kids soon; a specific experience and guidance that Cory could not offer. He made a mental note to thank his best friend for the treachery that made this possible. He looked to Jon, the only person he could really talk to about the matter weighing on him at the moment. With a somber expression and a great deal of courage, Shawn took a deep breath and asked:

"How'd you go from never wantin' to get married and havin' kids to married with five kids?"

Chapter Text

The question caught Jonathan off guard and it took him a while to gather his thoughts. He knew the answer of course; it wasn't something he had to think about it. It was simply that it had been so very long since Shawn had come to him about something serious that he'd had forgotten the younger man would often changed directions suddenly during a conversation when something was weighing on his mind.

As he looked into his former charge's eyes he could see the maelstrom that churned beneath the surface. Audrey's eyes would have this same look when was she was bothered by something she didn't know quite how to bring up to him. Jon noted this similarity with some surprise.

"I met the right one," he said finally.

The answer didn't seem to help Shawn much. It wasn't much of an answer perhaps, but it was the truth, and there was nothing he could embellish it with to make more than what it was.

"What about kids?"

"You changed my mind a great deal." Shawn didn't seem convinced, so Jon elaborated: "You made me realize what it would be like to have kids. To be responsible for another person and not so centered on myself. Having you around changed me. I don't think I would have wanted kids at all if it hadn't been for you. Or at least I would have resisted it. I don't know, Shawn. Audrey always wanted kids, I didn't. If it hadn't been for you, we may never have gotten together."

Shawn nodded, lost in his own thoughts. He was quiet for so long that Jon wasn't sure if he should say anything or just be present. He opted to follow his wife's frequent example by remaining where he was and waiting.

"Audrey said Angela came to see you guys."

"Yeah, she thought we might be able to help her talk to you. I'm afraid we didn't have much to offer."

"Angela was the last stable relationship I had," Shawn said as though the concept drained his energy. "I suppose you could call it stable. I tried datin' after her, but," he shrugged his shoulders indicating the level of apathy he felt. "I'd go out with a girl a few times before I couldn't stand the thought of seein' her again. Then I'd find someone else. Same thing every time. Eventually, I'd give up, throw myself into work, then start the whole thing over again."

"Been there. Dated that. Hated that."

Shawn regarded him inquisitively. "Why did you date after Audrey? Especially if you were gonna get her after the school year ended?"

Jon sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't plan on goin' to get her; not until much later. In the beginnin' I was just angry. I dunno, my way of rebellin', I guess. Faced with a year without her, I did everythin' I could to forget her. I tried tellin' myself I was better off without her; that I'd end up trapped in a marriage I didn't want if she had stayed. I threw myself into datin' and, just like you, I couldn't make it more than maybe three dates in before I was done and ready to move on and not look back. It got worse after you left. I couldn't stand to come home to an empty place, so I was never there. Some times I don't know where I was, but I wasn't there."

Shawn was surprised by this admission as Jon had just accurately described his own feelings since Angela left with her father and chosen not to come back.

"How'd you get through it?"

Jon gave a small laugh. "As odd as it sounds, Audrey got me through it. See, eventually, I called her. I just wanted to hear her voice, so I called durin' a time I thought she'd be gone and the answerin' machine would pick up. But it wasn't the machine that answered and we started talkin' again."

"She said she knew you were datin'." Shawn couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed that Jon had dated other women. It was irrational, perhaps, but he reasoned that the situations were different because there was no kid involved to be impacted by his choices when he was dating. That was not the case with Jon.

He nodded. "She did. I started callin' her after I came back from a date, just to talk because I sure couldn't talk to whoever I'd been out with. Then I started datin' more so I could call more. Eventually, she figured out what I was doin' and read me the riot act." His laugh was sheepish. "She didn't think I was bein' very fair to women I was goin' out with."

Shawn rolled his eyes and groaned. "Your taste in women was pretty terrible. Why did you pick them?"

"They were safe," the older man replied. "Crazy maybe, but safe. There was no chance of bein' talked into a relationship with any of them."

Shawn nodded, fully understanding. "I think I'm doin' the same," he mused. "No, I know I am. It's strange how it feels like I'm repeatin' so much of what you did. It feels like the endin' should be the same; that I should be able to see how things are gonna turn out. But I can't because-"

Jon waited for him to go on but the younger man seemed stuck on words he didn't want to say aloud.

"Angela's married," he gently stated for him.

Shawn's brow furrowed in a grimace. "I thought she was the one. I was so sure. I don't know what I'm lookin' for anymore."

"She's out there, Shawn. Someone who's the right partner for you; she is out there."

"Maybe, but I was so wrong about Angela. How am I gonna know for sure the next time?" he gave Jon a troubled look. "How did you know Audrey was the one?"

A grin spread over Jon's face as he thought back to that moment so long ago. "Do you remember me tellin' you about that awful New Year's Eve where Jeanine, Valerie, and Gwen came over and got together with Eli to roast me?"

Shawn had to access a deep part of his memory to pull up this event. Doing so made him smile as he also remembered that was the New Year's Eve he spent trapped in the subway with Cory, Topanga, Eric, and a set of twins.

"Yeah, I do."

"So that whole mess got started because Audrey was out of town for New Year's and didn't think she could make it back in time. She told me to go ahead and make plans without her so I talked Eli into stayin' in. I think I made up somethin' about being done with women or somethin' like that. I don't even remember."

They stopped walking for a moment and Jon leaned against the wall. "But I really just wanted to be home in case Audrey was able to make it. If she came over while Eli was there, no big deal; she was over a lot when he was there, so he wouldn't think anythin' of it."

Shawn smiled as the recollection of those days they all spent together. They were among the best he had of his youth.

"Perfect plan. What could possibly go wrong, right?" Jon shook his head. His eyes gleamed with the reminiscence. "It didn't look like Audrey was gonna make it, which turns out to be a good thing when all these women start showin' up. I was so angry with Eli for playin' along with them and keepin' them there. When the last one showed up, I sent her inside with the rest of them while I went outside and slam the door. I don't know where I thought I was goin' I just have to get out of there. When I turned around, Audrey was comin' down the hall."

"Oh no." Shawn remembered Jon telling him about this New Year's Eve disaster, but not about Audrey. He wondered how much other "good stuff" Jon had left out of his stories in those days.

"Oh yeah. I had no idea what to say to her. How do I tell her why I'm outside of my own apartment and we can't go in? So I scrambled to come up with somethin', anythin' to get out of there, but before I can, Eli opened the door with Jeanine right behind him. She asked who Audrey was and my best friend," he said the words with a sarcastic emphasis, "says 'oh, this is the new one'. The next thing I know Audrey is inside and I'm locked outta my place.

I was so panicked over what they might be tellin' her that I forgot I had a spare key in the hall somewhere. Took me ten minutes to remember the key, then another five to find it. When I finally got back in, Audrey was trapped on the couch in the middle of a bunch of tipsy women and Eli lookin' mortified. It was so bad, Shawn. So bad."

Jon ran his hand over his mouth as he recounted the story. "Somehow I manage to get everyone out. Everyone left includin' Audrey. I just knew it's over. Any chance with her is gone. I was sittin' on the couch completely numb. Can't feel anythin'. There's no way to fix things. It's over. It feels like I'm sittin' there for hours. Then I feel this hand on the back of my neck and I look up straight into those gray eyes."

"She came back." Shawn smiled, not surprised. He had never known her not to be true to her word. Even if she didn't say it, still she always came back.

"She did. I wanted so badly to defend myself but nothing came out but this incredibly pathetic, 'I'm not who they say I am'." I'll never forget her response." Jon smiled, lost in the memory. "She gave me this funny look and said, 'Don't you think I know you well enough to know who you really are?'"

He crossed his arms over his chest with a look of reverie in his dark eyes. "That was it Shawn. That was the moment I knew she was the one. I came this close," he held his thumb and forefinger up until they were almost touching, "to askin' her to marry me right then."

"You should have," Shawn retorted earnestly.

"Yeah, maybe," Jon chuckled. He moved on from the wall and stopped at the next to last room in the hallway. He knocked on the door that proudly displayed a large poster of Surya Bonaly at the 1998 Nagano Olympics.

"She must be with her mom," he said when there was no answer. "This is my oldest daughter's room."

Shawn found it curious the way Jon referred to her as his oldest daughter and not as his oldest child, which, as far as he knew, she was.

"Is this," Shawn paused, trying to remember the name he'd heard Jon mention. "Julia's room?"

Jon nodded. "Yep. Julia Elizabeth- we named her after Audrey's mom. She's fifteen; two years older than Riley and two years younger than Josh. It was an interestin' time havin' those three together."

"What do you mean?"

"I was so nervous about havin' a newborn that I was constantly on the phone with Alan about every little thing she did that I didn't understand. Which was pretty much everythin'" he reminisced.

"Alan and Amy were incredibly gracious about it and they brought Josh and Morgan up for the summer after Julia was born. Alan spent more time coachin' me through fatherhood than he did with Cory, I think. The next summer they were back, this time Alan was coachin' Cory with Riley. I still call Alan when my kids do something that I have no idea what to do about. Although I do try to keep the calls down to once a week." He grinned. "We spent a lot of time in Philly, too, back then. Julia, Josh, and Riley grew up together pretty much until they were all in school full-time."

Shawn smiled, but there was an internal sting from once again being reminded of how much he had missed and how close everyone had become without him. The worst part was realizing how very close he had been to running into Jon back then; after all he did baby-sit Riley until she was two.

How many times, he wondered, did I just miss Jon or Audrey when I was at Cory's place?

He pushed the feeling aside and asked, "What's Julia like?"

Jon put his tongue in his cheek and raised his eyebrows before responding. "She looks just like her mom but with my hair. When I watch her do her thing- the figure skatin', the off-ice dance trainin', I get fooled into thinkin' that the hair is the only thing she got from me and everythin' else is Audrey. Then she opens her mouth and it's all me."

The look on his face told Shawn that his former teacher was less than thrilled with this, though Shawn couldn't see how it was a bad thing. Jon's sense of humor and sarcasm was something that helped to create the bond between them. "That's cool, though."

"Yeah, it's real fun until it's not and you find yourself arguin' with a younger version of you." Jon rolled his eyes, "She does have her mother's drive to excel at what she's chosen to do, which is great."

"How'd she get into ice skatin' if Audrey is in ballet?"

"You," he replied.

"Me?"

Jon tipped his head to the side. "Both of us, really. The summer we spent travelin' after you moved in and we hit all those ice rinks made me rediscover my love of skating and hockey so I tried to get all the kids into skatin' as soon as possible. When I told Julia about you I guess I overemphasized the ice rinks we went to because that's what caught her attention.

You should've heard some the stories she made up about you. I think at one point she had you playin' in the SHL and the KHL. At the same time."

Shawn laughed but there was a discomfort that settled in his stomach. The level of adoration Jon's kids all seem to have for him made feel as though he was being dishonest; he was far from the idea brother they seemed to think he was. Though he tried not to dwell on it, deep down he worried about what they would think of him if they knew how he'd treated their father over the years.

"But Jules really took to skatin'," Jon went on. "She played hockey for a while which thrilled me, but she also really loved dance. I think she was torn between choosin' what I loved and what Audrey loved so she basically combined the two and chose figure skatin'. She's very good." He paused in thought for a moment. It was obvious how incredibly proud he was of his girl. His smile broadened. "Still got a mean wrister, though, and she loves to use it against Grayson. I know he's glad she finally aged out of his stick and puck drop-ins."

"I haven't been skatin' in so long," Shawn commented more to himself than to Jon. He found a strange comfort in knowing the whole family loved ice skating. He smiled ruefully. Skating was one of the few things he and his half-brother, Jack had in common, too. A love of the ice ran deep in the family line, apparently.

"You should come with us to Grayson's stick and puck. There's a public skate afterwards and we usually stay for it."

Shawn considered the offer. He hesitated a moment before answering, not sure he was ready to be surrounded by the kids. There was still lingering remorse that was preventing him from fully embracing his return to his family.

"Maybe," he said finally.

It wasn't a no and that was enough for Jon.

"How's Julia in school? Is she you or Audrey?"

"Somewhere in between us," Jon grinned. "She'd be happy to forget about it all together but she's acutely aware that she is the superintendent's daughter. She is also very competitive and wants to be the best. So her grades are excellent. But it was a nightly wrestlin' match to get her to study before she started high school."

"Things actually got better in high school?" Shawn found this hard to believe, but then he had never held any interest in school so maybe it was different when you cared about grades.

"Surprised me too," Jon agreed wholeheartedly. "I'm not sure what changed exactly. She was excited for high school because I was the principal at the time, but that summer I got the superintendent position and that enthusiasm died real quick. It looked like high school was gonna be an even bigger fight than junior high. But then out of the blue, about a week after freshman year started, she asked if she could come to my office to study after school instead of goin' home to do her schoolwork. Of course, I'm not gonna to say no. I feel like I hardly see my kids since this new job started and I like havin' her around. She's even been doing office work for me when she gets her stuff done."

"So," Shawn smirked, thinking of himself when he was fifteen and what his motivation for unprovoked work of any kind at that age might have been. "What does she want?"

This got a big laugh out of his mentor. "I still haven't figured that out. Must be huge. Actually, I think she just hates my secretary and wants to keep her out of work."

"Why? Who's your secretary?"

Jon's mouth formed a tight line. "You remember Miss Tompkins?"

"No way!" For some inexplicable reason this disclosure horrified Shawn.

Jon nodded and made a face. "She was hired while I was on summer vacation with the family. I had no chance to veto that decision."

"Is she married?"

"Divorced. Two kids."

"Did she know you're the superintendent?"

"Yeah. Apparently, that's why she applied."

"That's messed up." Shawn breathed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. He never had a problem with Miss Tompkins until she started to mess up things between his friends. Now the dislike for his former social studies teacher was back and he was very glad that Julia was keeping an eye on the woman.

"Jon, was Miss Tompkins the one who turned Audrey in to Feeny?"

"Yeah, she was."

"Unbelievable," Shawn muttered in irritation. He ran his hand through his hair. "What does Audrey say about her being your secretary?"

"She says she doesn't remember Katherine."

"Seriously?" Shawn frowned thinking back to the class trip to the City and the foggy memories that he had of that time. "Am I makin' this up or did you have some big show down with Miss Tompkins at the Library when we got back from seein' Phantom of the Opera?"

Jon nodded as he asked the question. "Oh, yeah, it happened. I'd like to forget it happened, but it did happen."

"Audrey was there. She doesn't remember that?"

"She remembers that. She just doesn't remember who was involved. Or so she says."

"Wow," Shawn gave him a sympathetic smile. "You're really lucky if she doesn't remember."

"Oh, I know I am!"

As they started to move away from Julia's door, Jon said abruptly, "Shawn, about Julia: don't expect a warm welcome from her."

"Why not?"

Jon pursed his lips together, unsure of how to word his thoughts. "She used to talk about you non-stop when she was little and always wanted to meet you. She idolized you, honestly. But now... well, the globe-trottin' brother isn't as glamorous as it once was. I don't know what to tell you. She's at that age where everythin' is personal."

"She's not my biggest fan is what you're saying."

"Not right now, no. She'll come around, though. She just needs some time."

"I can give her that," Shawn replied, fully understanding that need. Something told him that, with enough time, he and Julia could be good friends.

As they approached the door at the end of the hall, Jon stopped and gave Shawn a sideways look. The younger man seemed much more relaxed and open, so he figured he might have a chance to get to know him better. "So what's the deal with Maya and her mom?"

Shawn looked at him in surprise. "Cory hasn't told you?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather hear your side of the story from you."

"I am so not sure," Shawn let out a deep sigh. Jon motioned for him to sit on the stairs with him and he gladly accepted as he suddenly felt weak with the attention being put squarely on him. But, he felt he owed Jon a better answer than his typical responses.

"But there is somethin'?"

"I think. Maybe. I don't know. Julia sounds a lot like Maya when I first met her. I guess Cory told her a lot of stories about me and she had this certain image of me made up. I did a good job of shatterin' that illusion right away."

"What'd you do?"

"I avoided Riley."

"Ah," Jon nodded. "That would do it."

"She called me out on it too. Got right in my face asking me why I didn't like Riley. I have never met a kid who put on such a bold, no, make that obnoxious front."

I have, Jon thought wryly. He tried to keep his expression neutral so Shawn would keep talking, but he couldn't help to compare the young man sitting next to him with what he knew of his niece's best friend.

"Her dad dumped her and her mom. You know how much that bothers me. And I kind of got used to her bein' around; it wasn't awful having a kid follow me around," he smiled slightly, relaxing a bit. "But then I made a jerk of myself with her mom the first time we met. It was Maya's birthday and her mom wasn't around. I thought her mom dumped her too. I got so angry with someone I'd never even met." He clasped his hands together in embarrassment. "I was pretty obnoxious myself, I guess. I questioned her parentin' skills, made a lot of assumptions about her and actually told her off based on those assumptions."

"I bet that went over real well."

"She threatened to break a plate over my head if I questioned her motherin' skills again."

"Hey, she warned you first," Jon pointed out with an amused smile. "That's a point in your favor."

"Then she told me she didn't like me."

"Take that point back."

They laughed. Shawn quieted down and shifted his position on the stairs a bit. "She's been left a lot, Jon. Didn't have a lot growin' up. She's strugglin' now to make ends meet. She wasn't around for Maya's birthday because she was workin' overtime to pay off the birthday gift she got her."

"How are things with you guys now?"

"Maya's grown on me. A lot I, guess. She's asked me to always be there for her."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her I would." Shawn hesitated. He pulled his knees up and hugged them to his chest. He was still struggling to fully express what he was thinking. He was so programmed to stay on the surface of matters that going any deeper was difficult and painful. "I just," he seemed frustrated with himself. "I know I can never be to her what you were to me, if things aren't right between us."

Jon reached over and put arm around Shawn's shoulders. "They are," he assured him.

Shawn gave him a grateful smile before focusing his gaze on the stair below his feet. "After Angela came back and I talked to her, Katy asked me out."

Although, Jon expressed surprise, he really wasn't. Feigning ignorance he asked, "How'd it go?"

"It was different."

"Good or bad?"

"Neither. It was just different. I just don't know how I feel about Katy. I know I have to move on from Angela-that's over. But everyone is pushin' me in Katy's direction: Cory, Topanga, Riley, Maya. But I don't know if it's right, if she's right. Maya being involved makes it more complicated.

And I'm always bein' setup. If Cory's not doin' it, Maya is. And sometimes I think they're in on it together." He shook his head and reiterated, "It seems like every time I turn around Maya's got some scheme goin' on to get me alone with Katy."

Jon gave him a semi-reproachful look. "Are you seriously complainin' about a kid tryin' to set you up with her mom?"

"Yeah, I am, I guess." He shot Jon a funny look.

"Are you kiddin' me, Hunter? You did the same thing to me with Audrey. I recall very clearly you flat out tellin' me I was in love with her and then instructin' me on what to do about it."

Shawn laughed and put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, so I'm a hypocrite."

"Yeah, you are. Welcome to parenthood."

"Oh, no," he replied hastily, waving the comment off. "I'm not ready for that."

"No?"

"No."

Jon regarded him steadily. "No one's every truly ready, Shawn. Even those who think they are. Do you want to be a parental figure in Maya's life?"

"Maybe."

"What is it that you think you need in order to be ready?"

"I don't know," Shawn felt like a broken record repeating "I don't know" like it was a mantra. "I guess I need to figure out if I'm gonna try to move things forward with Katy, figure out how I feel about her. How I fit into Maya's life."

"It sounds like you're tryin' to figure out everythin' ahead of time. Don't you think you should include Katy in this?"

"Well, yeah. I will. Eventually." The younger man took a deep breath, trying shake off the defensiveness he was beginning to feel. "This is so much more complicated than I thought it would be because Maya is involved. I don't want her to get hurt if things don't work out with her mom. I don't want her to feel like it's her fault or I'm going to abandon her."

"What do you want, Shawn?"

No one had ever asked him that directly and he had to think about it. Did what he want even matter? Wasn't a relationship supposed to be about the other person and sacrificing self for them?

"I want to take care of Katy," he said with a confidence that surprised him. "I don't want her to have to work so hard or have to worry about if there's going to be enough money to pay the bills or buy groceries. I don't want her to have to worry about bein' left again. I don't want her to have to worry about anythin' again."

"You've been out once, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then you are jumpin' way ahead of the game, Shawn. You need to slow down."

"Yeah, I know that's what it sounds like." He shifted his position so he could better see his former guardian. "I'm just tryin' to get everythin' lined up before I ask her out. I'm either prepared to commit fully to her or I'm not. If I'm not, then I don't ask her out."

"Do you love her?"

"I don't know."

There was a seriousness in Jon's expression that the younger man had not seen since Jon had warned him about the cult he got involved with in high school. "Shawn, do not ask her out."

Shawn was surprised by the intensity in Jon's voice.

Does he know something about Katy that I don't? He wondered with concern.

"You don't think I should date her?"

"If you are goin' into this with the idea that you are gonna save her, do not ask her out. If you set yourself up as her savior you will never be able to stand up under that pressure. She will eventually resent you for it. And if you think Katy will fill some missin' piece in your life and make you whole or save you from yourself, don't ask her out. She can't do that and it's not fair to expect that of her."

He put his hand on Shawn's knee and gave him an affectionate squeeze. "Get yourself healed and whole first. Then ask her out."

There was something in his tone that told Shawn that this went much deeper than wise platitudes Jon may have picked up from Mr. Feeny. There was something profoundly personal about this subject.

"What aren't you tellin' me, Jon?"

"That I'm speakin' from experience, Shawn." The older man inhaled deeply before continuing. "The first few years Audrey and I were married were incredibly hard. I absolutely had a savior complex with her from the very beginnin'. I wanted to save her from bein' alone, from the eatin' disorder, from the life she was livin'. And in return I expected her to fix all of my issues. We didn't even live together for most of the first year but we ended up arguin' almost all the time when we were together and Audrey did end up resentin' me. A lot. Throw in a major accident that left me with over a year of physical therapy, and a pregnancy; it got real ugly. We actually had divorce papers drawn up."

Shawn felt as though his world had been turned upside down once again and he found it hard to breath. He didn't know how to digest this information. He couldn't imagine those two arguing; he had never heard them so much as raise their voices to each other in anything that even resembled anger. He could not believe that they would ever treat each other the way his parents had once treated one another.

But, he reminded himself. They're still together. They still love each other. He found he had to repeat this to himself several times over before he felt calmer.

"But you didn't divorce. Everythin' worked out." He had never known anyone on the verge of divorce who either didn't go ahead with it or who had a good, faithful marriage afterwards if they didn't.

"Because we made a choice," Jon said firmly. " And we got help. I think the most important thing I took away from counselin' was that love is a choice, it's not a feelin'. Likin' someone is a feelin'."

Shawn gave a short snort.

"You don't believe me?"

"It's not that, Jon. It just doesn't make much sense."

Jon nodded his understanding. "Tell me somethin': did you always like your dad?"

Shawn frowned, not sure what his dad had to do with marriage. "No, a lot of times I didn't like him at all."

"Did you always love him?"

He frowned, thinking back over all the ups and mostly downs he'd had with his father. "Yeah," he said emphatically after a while. "No matter what he did, I always loved him."

"Why?"

Shawn's mouth started to form an answer but nothing came out. He thought about all the times his dad dumped him, pushed him off on other people, and was generally an horrible human being to him and others. Shawn knew he would have been justified in cutting his dad out of his life completely, but he never did. He couldn't. He made the choice to stay and give his affection to someone who didn't deserve it while turning his back on one who did. He made the choice to believe lies over the truth.

"Because I chose to," He seemed surprised by his own words.

Jon let go of his knee. "Understandin' that doesn't get rid of old mindsets, but it's a start. Marriage isn't easy, Shawn. It's hard. Sometimes it the hardest thing you'll ever do. Other times, it's the best. But trust me when I say, it's much better to go into marriage a whole person than an empty one."

An empty one. As the words hit his ears, he felt as though a bus ran through him and he inhaled sharply. Without any warning, he was thrown back into a past he didn't want to remember. He was in a hospital room with Jon laying bloodied and broken in front of him. His desperate pleas for help rang again in his ears:

Jon, even when I was at the Center, it was all the things that you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not. But you didn't teach me enough. You… and Cory… and my parents… and the Matthews and the handful of people who really care about me, so don't blow me off, Jon! Don't blow me off, God! I've never asked You for anythin' and I never wanted to come to You like this. But don't take Turner away from me! He's not done yelling at me, yet. God, You're not talkin', but I know You're here. So, I'm going to talk and You can listen. God… I don't want to be empty inside anymore.

Shawn lowered head until his forehead was touching his clasped hands. He felt cold, so cold, even though the house was warm and comfortable. Involuntarily, he shivered.

"I don't want to be empty anymore," he said quietly. He felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. The two men sat there in silence for a long time as Shawn tried to sort through his life. "I need a place to belong," he admitted finally. "I need to be anchored somewhere for good. I don't think I can move forward if I'm not."

"You'll always have a place here, Shawn." It brought the older man a great deal of pain to see the torment and agony in his young friend's face, knowing that he couldn't do anything to fix things for him. Knowing that he was, in part, a source of that pain.

"You have another kid comin'."

"We have enough room," Jon said in a tone of voice that didn't allow for arguing. "Anythin' you need, we're here. Even if it's just a room and a window to climb out of."

The corners of Shawn's mouth turned upwards. "I think I've finally gotten too old to be climbin' out of windows." He glanced at Jon. "But thank you."

The mood shifted and Jon knew the younger man was done talking for the time being. He was deeply relieved that Shawn was talking to him again and he felt a peace he hadn't had in years settle over him. He tapped Shawn's knee with the back of his hand. When his former charge looked up at him, he pointed to the door directly ahead of them. "That's it. That's your room."

Shawn followed Jon as he stood up. "How'd Audrey figure out where I was stayin'?" he asked, suddenly curious. He thought he'd covered his tracks pretty well.

"She didn't. Topanga did."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she thought maybe you'd go back to some spot we went to on the class trip. The hotel seemed like a good place to start. So I called there and asked if you were registered."

There's another person I need to thank, Shawn noted.

"So," Jon said as they stopped outside of the last bedroom door. "Do you just travel constantly or do you have a place to go to when you're not on the road."

Shawn shifted his weight to his right. "It's almost constant. I usually crash with friends or a hotel, somethin' like that. But when I do have down time and need to stay in one place for a while, I go back to Philly. I've kept the one place that always felt like home."

Jon frowned, somewhat dismayed by this. "You gotta place in the trailer park?"

"No," Shawn said. He regarded his teacher with great affection. "I've got your old place."

The superintendent was clearly not expecting to hear that. He looked pleased and humbled at the same time. His reaction made Shawn smile.

"Listen," Jon said, feeling a bit awkward suddenly. "Why don't you take some time to settle in. I'll let you know when dinner is ready."

Shawn nodded. "Sounds good."

As the younger man placed his hand on the doorknob and began to turn it, Jon asked, "You think you might stay longer than tonight? For a while maybe?"

Shawn looked back over his shoulder and nodded. He saw the relief that filled the older man's eyes. "I'll stay." As he said it, he immediately recalled a conversation with Katy:

"I can't let Maya get close to somebody else who just leaves."

"I'm not a leaver. All right? I'm a stayer. I'm the one who gets left."

A dark realization overtook him. He lied to Katy. Not intentionally, but still he lied.

"I left." The words were a bitter substance in his mouth.

The look on Shawn's face trouble Jon, but he didn't quite hear what he said. "Shawn?"

"I told Katy I don't leave, that I'm the one who stays. But I-" He turned to stare at Jon with wide eyes, filled with astonishment and self-reproach. "I turned my back on you when you needed me most. I left."

Why would I do that? He wondered in bewilderment. I stayed for those who didn't deserve it. Why did I leave someone who never left me?

"Jon. I am so sorry."

An apology was never required nor needed; Jonathan Turner only wanted the young man in front of him, the one he considered his own, to understand that he was always wanted and always would be. Jon put both hands on Shawn's shoulders with a forcefulness that make him look his mentor in the eye.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm just glad you're home."

"But the things I said to you before the accident. What I..."

"Stop, Shawn. Just...let's not go there." He took a deep breath. "Whether I should have or not I always saw you as mine. You were always my kid and that's what I told everyone. I have five kids and another on the way."

At the tears that were in Jon's eyes, Shawn breath caught in his throat. 

"I realized years later that a lot of what Dad told me about you were lies," he admitted, ashamed of himself. "I couldn't come back after that. But there was always a part of me that saw you as my dad. I always wanted you to be."

Jon nodded too choked with emotion to say anything. Finally, he got out,

"Welcome home, Shawn."

Chapter Text

The room was not at all what he was expecting. When he first set foot in that room nearly two decades ago it had been a very typical guestroom. Basic furnishings were in neutral colors so as not to be offensive to whomever might be visiting. He remembered the furniture being older even then, from the 60s or 70s. The light fixtures, too, were old. The bedding was in shades of gray and pale yellow. There was an old rotary phone and small lamp on the lone nightstand. An antique French chair stood in the corner of the room, cattycorner from the bed. At the time, Audrey told him to do what he liked with the room and the idea excited him. What he'd hoped would be a whole summer with Jon and Audrey in the City ended abruptly within a week. He never had a chance to put his touch on the room.

This couldn't be the same room, though. The room he was standing in he did not recognize. If this was the same room, then the walls had been repainted from a light beige to a hunter green. The old furniture was gone, replaced by matching wood pieces popular in the 1990s. The old bed was gone as well. In its place stood bunk beds clothed in plaid sheets; one with a solid blue comforter and one with solid green. Shawn smiled. He knew why there were bunk beds.

For me. And Cory.

The green walls were plastered with posters of the favorite bands, movies, and sports teams of his childhood. Next to the beds was a desk with an old black metal lamp sitting on the corner. To the left of the desk was a blue metal bookcase filled with books. Curious as to what the books were, Shawn stepped closer and ran his finger across the spines. He chuckled aloud. Jon's sense of humor was on full display: Grapes of Wrath, The Scarlet Letter, Cyrano de Bergerac, Much Ado About Nothing, Lord of the Flies, the Elephant Man- on the top two shelves were all the books Jon had ever assigned him in high school, most of which he never read when he was supposed to read them. The bottom two shelves were filled with every poetry book imaginable. Shawn inhaled deeply and felt a sting prick his eyes. He blinked several times and shrugged off the teariness that was building.

He turned his back on the bookcase to look at the rest of the room. The wall opposite the bed housed the closet with wooden sliding doors. Next to the closet was a tall dresser with a combination TV/VCR on top. A stack of VHS tapes and some DVDs sat on what little space that wasn't taken up by the television set. On the floor next to the dresser was an original PlayStation with a library of games stacked up higher than the console. A comfortable looking, old brown recliner sat across the room from it near the foot of the bunks positioned for optimal TV viewing. Against the wall near the door was a short dresser with a Sony boom box and a wire CD rack on top. Shawn pulled some of the albums out and found himself looking at all his favorite bands. On the top of the pile was A Desert Life by the Counting Crows. That stinging returned to his eyes and he had trouble shrugging it off this time.

Shawn returned to the desk to check out it's content. The top was bare save for a pencil holder, a cordless phone, and several X-men comic books. The drawers, however, were full. Pulling out the thin black computer chair to sit in, Shawn delved into the contents starting with the top drawer. There were several folders of varied colors like the ones he had used throughout school. Inside held memories of his school life, both secondary and college. There were papers he had done for Jon's classes, articles, and poetry he had written in college.

Where did these come from? He wondered about the college papers. In the back of one of the folders were copies of his Pennbrook report cards.

Cory.

At the end of every semester Cory had this peculiar habit of hounding him for a copy of his grades to "send home". Shawn never understood this predilection, but Cory explained that "the parents" would want to see how they were doing and he always gave in even though it really didn't matter much to him. He had always assumed "the parents" were the Matthews.

Shawn put the folders back in their place and opened the next drawer. This one contained a box of photographs. Photos of his summer with Jon before Audrey came into their lives; of his life with both of them; at Chubbie's, the mall, parks, and various other outings. One picture caught his eye. He picked up a photo of himself and Cory hanging off the top of a rock-climbing wall acting as though they were falling. He smiled as he recalled their trip to Six Flags with their favorite teachers. At the bottom of the box were several envelopes, some with Cory's handwriting and some with Topanga's, all addressed to Jon. Inside were more photos: some of the three of them, some of just two or one of them. Some pictures included Angela, Jack, and Eric. On the backs of these, one of his best friends had written a little bit about the pictures. They were all from their senior year of high school through the end of college. Shawn stared at the photographs in his hands and hung his head.

He felt a heavy weight settle on his shoulders as he thought about how badly his friends wanted Jon to be a part of his life that they would quietly continue to send their teacher updates about his life without his knowledge. It scared him to think how very much like his biological family he could be- to be able to so thoroughly shut someone out of his life as though they had never existed. Cory had tried for the years before Riley was born to get him to break that cycle and get him to fully reconcile with Jon which often led to loud arguments that required Topanga to referee. Eventually, life moved on for Cory as Riley, then Auggie, consumed his life. His reconciliation attempts dropped to once a year, then stopped altogether. It was only in the last couple of years that Cory, with his unwavering optimism and faith in him to do the right thing, had resumed his attempts.

He was tremendously thankful that Cory never gave up on him.

Shawn put the pictures back in their spot and closed the drawer. He was about to get up when he noticed a blue, plastic milk crate sitting between the desk and bed. He pulled it out and sat it on the desk. In the box was a collection of stuff that he had left behind at Jon's place. There were mementos from his trips with Jon over their first summer together and others from times with Audrey. There were also a couple of shirts, one shoe, scraps of scribbled notes, and a photo of his dad. He remembered the box being brought to school for him and he had left it in Jon's classroom more than once. Jon told him to just come by his place and pick it up. He never got around to it. But here it was after all this time. Shawn wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. They were becoming redder and more irritated by the moment.

Grayson and Jamie had left his duffle bag by the door just barely inside the room. He reached for it and began to empty the contents. He set the snow globe on the desk next to the lamp. As he put his box of letters in the middle of the desk, he realized that room was dust-free, indicating that it was routinely cleaned. He tossed his bag onto the bottom of the closet floor before hanging up the few articles of clothing he had with him. As he closed the closet door, he saw a photo he hadn't noticed before hanging above the TV set. Shawn inhaled a sharp breath when he saw that the faded photo was of him, Cory, Jon, and Audrey from their Old-Time photo shoot at Six Flags. He ran his fingertips across the picture of his family with a tender reverence. Abruptly, he turned and went to bed, grabbing his phone that lay on the center of the mattress. On the back of his phone case was a small pocket meant for credit cards, but there was only one thing Shawn ever carried in it. He opened the pocket and pulled out a slightly smaller than business card sized photograph taken from the same Old Time photo session. This one, his favorite from the set, was of only Jon and Audrey. It was faded as the one of the walls with its corners well worn. Years ago, he had scanned a copy of it and restored it to its original state with the intent to carry it instead of the original. But it never felt right to Shawn and the copy was quickly replaced.

Soon he found himself staring out of the large window that was located behind the desk. The large sturdy tree just outside grew tall, broad, and close to the house. It was an even better window and tree than what was at Cory's childhood home. Shawn sighed and took a seat on the bed. He looked around the room once more, trying to capture as many details in his memory as possible. Suddenly exhausted, helay back on the bed and closed his eyes. One thing was certain, if he had this room back then, he wouldn't have the need to have an easy escape like this one provided. He never would have wanted to leave this room or this home.

The real room was better than any dream.

Grayson Turner stood nervously outside of the door at the end of the parlor level floor shifting from foot to foot. Several times, he raised his fist to knock on the door and several times he put his hand back into his pocket. He tried to give himself a pep talk like he would before a hockey game but the more he talked to himself the more he was ready to turn around and ask Julia to tell Shawn dinner was ready. The young boy thought better of that, however. His oldest sister had been stomping around in a bad mood most of the day and he didn't want to get yelled at for bothering her. Running a hand through his tangled, curly auburn locks, he summoned all his courage and banged on Shawn's door.

"Yeah, come in."

Grayson froze. Come in? Could he do that? He looked around the empty hall checking to see if anyone was watching him. He wasn't sure that it was okay to go into the room; every time he and Jamie had tried to sneak a peek at their mysterious brother's room their mother shooed them out or Julia told their dad on them, and they got in trouble. Grayson couldn't help but worry that somehow he'd still get in trouble even if he was following Shawn's direction. Timidly, he pushed the door open just wide enough to put his head into the room. Shawn gave him an amused smile from the bed and motioned for him to come all the way in. Grayson took a deep breath and entered the room fully, shutting the door behind him, just in case Julia started stalking the halls.

Face to face now with the brother he'd heard so much about and so desperately wanted to get to know, Grayson found that he had nothing to say. He felt overwhelmed and embarrassed to be standing there so awkwardly in front of someone he was in awe of. He wished he wasn't such a little kid.

Shawn watched the boy nervously fidget with a compassionate affection. Even though he wasn't completely sure of what to say to the ten-year-old, he knew he had to be the one to break the silence.

"You're Grayson, right?"

Immediately, the boy's head jerked up and he met Shawn's eyes. A shy, flattered smile broke out over his round face and he nodded profusely.

"Nice to meet you."

Grayson licked his lips and stuck his hand in pocket. He held out a white charging cable to Shawn. "It's for my tablet," he explained tensely, the words firing rapidly at Shawn. "Mom told me your phone was dead and you didn't have your charger. I don't know if this will work, but it's what I have."

Shawn smiled, deeply touched by the gesture from his... little brother. "Thanks, man," he said looking the charger over. He picked up his phone from the desk and fit the cable into the charging port. ""Fits." He held up the phone so Grayson could see it.

Grayson was so relieved he felt like he might pass out. While Shawn plugged the charger into the wall outlet, the boy took the chance to look around the room.

Shawn noticed his look of envy and smiled. "Pretty cool room, isn't it?"

Grayson jumped and looked at Shawn with wide brown eyes. "Yeah," he sputtered. "It's really cool."

Shawn motioned to the PlayStation. "You ever play that?"

Fervently, Grayson shook his head. "We only touched it. Once. Promise."

"It's okay, " he assured him, slightly confused by the boy's sudden anxiety. "Really."

"Dad won't let us play with it."

"Dad's not into video games, huh?"

"It's not that," Grayson told him as he relaxed slightly. Talking to Shawn wasn't as hard as he thought it was going to be. "Jamie and I got our own PS3. We just aren't allowed to play with that one."

Shawn nodded and an idea started to bubble in the back of his mind. After a moment, he tapped Grayson on the arm and said, "How about we play this weekend? You pick the game."

Astonished, Grayson stared up at him, mouth agape. "You mean it?" He couldn't believe that Shawn wanted to hang out with him. Just wait until he told Jamie!

"Yeah," Shawn said. "I mean it."

"So you're staying?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"I'm not sure. A while though."

"Cool." He grinned at Shawn with unabashed admiration. "Oh, yeah," Grayson said suddenly remembering why he had been sent to Shawn's room in the first place. "Mom says dinner's almost ready and you should come down."

Shawn grinned, suddenly starving.

"I'm right behind you."

As soon as Shawn and Grayson reached the dining room the younger boy took off after Jamie who had his tablet without permission, leaving Shawn alone in the middle of the room. Julia was setting the table with earbuds securely in her ears. She glanced up from her job and locked eyes with him. Her blue-gray eyes held his gaze with an unblinking stare. There was no hint of expression on her face, just an unnerving look that went right through him. The look made him squirm a bit. She went back to what she was doing without a word to him.

Jon wasn't kidding about not getting a warm reception from her, he thought bemusedly. That was downright frigid.

Audrey was busy in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on a fried chicken dinner. The aromatic smells that emanated from the room filled Shawn with homey contentment and warm memories of his childhood. At the piercing cry of one of her children, she looked up and saw Shawn. Her face broke out into a broad grin, and she beckoned him over while issuing a sharp reprimanded to the squabbling siblings.

"How are you settling in?" she asked, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the din of noise of her children and dinner cooking.

"Great," he said, leaning over to hug her. "Is it always this loud?"

"No," she said, shaking her head as she stirred the mashed potatoes. "Usually louder."

"Can I help?" he asked, hoping to steal a few moments to talk to her.

"Stir these," she said, handing the mashed potatoes over to him with a smile of gratitude.

As a teen, Shawn had often helped Audrey in the kitchen. At first it was to appease Jon who didn't like him treating her like his personal chef by putting in his order then sitting back while she did the work. A consequence of this was that he learned to cook. Later on, he volunteered to help just to be around her and talk when he needed a motherly understanding that Jon couldn't provide. Nothing, Shawn discovered, had changed in that regard.

"Hey, Audrey," he asked as she added milk to the potatoes. "Those pictures in the desk drawer in my room- did Cory and Topanga send you guys those?"

She nodded. "Yeah, they did. After you guys went off to college, Jon talked to Cory once every few weeks to see how everyone was doing, especially you. Cory took it upon himself to send Jon your schoolwork and report cards. The Father's Day before he and Topanga were married, Cory made a copy of every photo he and Topanga had that you were in. They're all in the family photo albums in the living room."

"Really?" Shawn wasn't quite sure how to react. He knew how much was going on in Cory's life at that time; it impressed him deeply that his best friend would take the time to do that for Jon.

Cory's definitely the better son, he thought dolefully.

Audrey gave his shoulder a loving squeeze as she took the potatoes from him.

"Cory even sent report cards." He shook his head with a slight smile. It was a very Cory thing to do.

She smiled. "Cory was proud of how far you'd come in school. He knew Jon would be even prouder and he was right.

He paused, deep in thought. When he lifted his head again, he found her watching him carefully.

"Graduation was a big deal. I wish Jon had been there. You, Jon, Mr. Feeny, and my dad were the only people I really wanted to be there. In the end only Mr. Feeny was there."

"Jon was there," she said gently.

Shawn's mouth dropped a bit with surprise.

"He was there when you graduated high school, too."

"I figured that since he was still teaching. But he was there when I graduated college?" This dismayed Shawn. His mentor must have felt like he would have been unwelcomed and unwanted if he let him know he was there.

Audrey could see that unforgiving regret settle into his features. She hated that look as she saw it too often in her husband. She took his hand between hers and told him firmly. "What's done is done. You're here now with us. That's what matters."

He nodded and sighed. Audrey handed him the corn and potatoes and sent him into the chaos of the dining room, knowing that it would prevent him from sinking further into any depression.

A moment after Shawn re-entered the kitchen, Jon walked in with Isabella in tow. The toddler looked refreshed and perky, nothing like she did when Shawn first met her. She caught Shawn's gaze, gave him a goofy grin, and then buried her face in her father's shirt collar.

"Hey," Jon greeted him. "How's the room?"

"It's really great."

"Feel free to make any changes you want. It's yours."

Shawn shook his head. "I like it the way it is. It's pretty perfect."

Jon's face lit up in a delighted grin which made Audrey smile. She knew how much Shawn's approval meant as her husband had spent many hours making sure that the room was everything he could have wanted back then.

Jamie suddenly burst into the kitchen followed closely by Grayson scolding him for something or other. There was a pre-dinner chaos that was overwhelming, yet not uncomfortable. It surprised Shawn that he didn't mind the noise or activity. Bella kept chattering in two-year-old babble to her father, getting right in his face and making it impossible for him to talk to anyone else. She ignored his attempts to teach her manners. Through it all, she kept looking back at Shawn to see if he was watching. Inevitably, as soon as they made eye contact, she would hug her father tighter to her and go back to chattering nonsensically to him.

Jon attempted to say something to Shawn but was distracted by Julia walking into the kitchen to retrieve glasses from the cabinet. He pointed at her outfit with an exasperated look of annoyance. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a gray tank top. Over the tank top she wore an open, very oversized dark blue button-down shirt.

"Are you wearin' my shirt?"

Julia saw the look on his face and took out her earbuds. "Huh?"

"Are you wearin' my shirt?" he said slower, emphasizing each word.

"Yeah, so?"

"Why are you wearin' my shirt?"

She gave him a wide-eyed shrug as though she didn't really understand what he was asking.

Jon moved Bella to his left side. "You know between you and your mother who likes to wear my shirts when she's pregnant, I don't have much left."

Audrey, who had walked away from the group to transfer the chicken to a serving tray, returned to the stove. "What's wrong?" she asked, although she could guess from the look on her husband's and daughter's faces.

"Julia's wearin' my shirts again without askin'," he complained.

"Does it really bother you that much?" Audrey couldn't help but find his grumblings about this particular subject amusing.

"It wouldn't if my clothes ever made it back to my closet and I didn't have to rush in the mornin's tryin' to find my missin' shirts that are always wrinkled at the bottom of a pile of clothes on the floor." he replied looking directly at Julia. The words didn't seem to have any impact on his daughter, but then she knew he wasn't as upset as he seemed or else she wouldn't be able to get into his closet anymore.

Jon turned to Audrey. "I appreciate that Jules is single-handedly tryin' to resurrect 90s fashion trends, I really do. I just wish she'd do it with someone else's clothes." His wife gave him no sympathy as she was as guilty as their daughter. So he grumbled to himself, "Also, I'm missin' a bunch of ties."

Audrey heard him. "For Father's Day I'll make sure the kids get you nothing but ties."

"Ha. Ha." he said without humor. "Just get me a bunch of ironed shirts I can hide from Julia on your side of the closet."

Audrey laughed and gave Shawn a cheeky grin and wink. "You heard him."

"Yep," he happily joined in teasing Jon. "Bunch of shirts and some ties. Got it."

The superintendent gave an exaggerated groan and eye roll, but he was smiling. Grabbing a platter of food, he headed into the dining room. Shawn followed suit and helped Audrey take the rest of dinner to the table. Jon sat at the head of the table with Shawn on one side of him and Julia on the other. Grayson and Jamie fought over who would sit next to Shawn. Being younger, Jamie won, leaving Grayson to sulkily sit next to his triumphant brother. Isabella sat next to Julia in her highchair so she would be close to her mother and cheekily engaged in cute antics to get Shawn's attention. He found himself involuntarily laughing at her overtures.

He expected the dinner table to be as loud, but as soon as everyone settled into place with food in front of them, the noise died down to a hum of conversation and laughter and occasional happy outbursts from a toddler. He ate quietly for the most part, listening and taking everything in. It felt like old times, with just a few more people.

And the food was even better than he remembered.

There was a flurry of activity after dinner to make it to Grayson's stick and puck session on time. Shawn considered staying behind and turning in early- it had been an exceptionally long and eventful day- but for some reason he didn't want to be alone. He helped where he could, which turned out to be keeping an eye on Jamie. The little boy thought it was fun to unpack something from his brother's or sister's skate bag, wait until they put back what he took out, and then take something else out. He was rambunctious and mischievous, but there wasn't a malicious streak in him; he was just uninhibited and not very self-aware yet. Shawn tried to keep him distracted although he failed miserably; the little boy always managed to get around him and take something else out of one of the bags. So Shawn resorted to doing what any big brother would do- he picked the youngest boy up, hoisted him on his shoulder, and held him there until the skate bags were packed safely in the trunk of the SUV. Jamie shrieked delightedly and talked non-stop in Shawn's ear for the duration of his ride.

There was a no electronics rule in the SUV on short trips which left the kids with little else to do but annoy each other, except for Bella who promptly fell asleep five minutes into the trip to the World Ice Arena in Queens. Shawn sat behind Audrey next to Julia who avoided saying more than two words to him. Much like at dinner, he remained quiet overall, listening and absorbing the events of the day. More than anything, he enjoyed listening to Jon and Audrey banter back and forth. The buzz of chatter and the hum of the vehicle made Shawn drowsy, but he fought the urge to sleep. There was a small part of him that was still afraid this wasn't real and if he should fall asleep now, he might wake up where he was that morning.

The ice rink was in the Aquatics Center in the Flushing Meadows Corona Park. The park was expansive and from what he could see in the twilight looked to be an interesting place to explore. Once inside the arena, Jon got the family checked in for the public skate later and hustled Grayson off to put his equipment and skates on. Audrey took everyone else into the practice rink viewing area to get seated. Several of the players sat on benches around the rink as the ice was cleared, waiting for their session to begin. Adults milled about, talking to each other and their kids. Jamie saw a friend from school who brought toy cars with him and went to play with him. A couple of teen girls from Julia's skating club saw her and waved furiously. With her mother's permission, she took off to join them. This left Shawn with Audrey and Bella. The toddler was still doing her funny little switching from super shy to super outgoing, always acting up when Shawn was looking.

"She likes you," Audrey told him looking pleased.

Shawn found this hard to believe as every time he held his hands out to her, she refused to come to him. Audrey tried to hand her to him once, but she cried like she had never seen him before.

"You sure?"

"She's trying to get your attention. She just doesn't know what to do with it when she has it." She explained. "She isn't very friendly to people she doesn't know. In fact, she usually just gives people really dirty looks." She laughed. "Even people she knows well actually. You should see the looks she gives Cory."

Shawn grinned.

Jon entered the rink with Grayson, fully dressed in his junior Rangers gear and ready to go. Leaving his son at a bench with his teammates, Jon headed over to Shawn and Audrey. Before he could reach them, a man near his age intercepted him and engaged him in conversation. They were clearly old friends. Shawn frowned as he studied the man. There was something so familiar about him.

"Audrey, who is that guy?"

Audrey looked up from untangling Bella's fist from her hair. She smiled, "That's Brian Leetch."

"The name's familiar," his voice trailed off. He still couldn't place who he was.

"Greatest Ranger of all time."

That jogged Shawn's memory. His hockey history wasn't very developed, but he caught games every so often while on the road. Oddly enough many of those games were Rangers games. The two-time Norris Trophy winner had been one of the NHL's best defensemen and was the first American-born winner of the Conn Smythe Trophy.

"Jon seems to know him pretty well."

Audrey nodded. "Actually, Jon's pretty well known around here by a lot of former players. We spend so much time at the rink with Julia and Grayson and now Jamie's starting to get interested in hockey that this is pretty much our second home. And Jon's been playing in adult leagues on and off since we moved back. This is an off time for him because of work and he really misses it."

Jon and Brian were still deep in conversation as they walked over to where Audrey and Shawn were standing. Brian greeted Audrey with a kiss on the cheek and ruffled Bella's hair. Sure enough Bella gave him a dirty look before turning away from him. Jon relieved Audrey of carrying their daughter and she immediately sat down. It had been a long day for her, too. More so than she realized.

"Brian, this is my oldest, Shawn." He introduced the men with a proud grin.

Leetch smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to finally meet you," he said. "Jon talks about you all the time."

"Really cool to meet you," Shawn returned a nervous smile. Being introduced as family was disquieting as Shawn felt he didn't deserve the inclusion yet. He didn't have much time to dwell on this as he felt something small and violent latch onto his arm. It was Bella. She had a handful of his jacket, trying to pull him over to her. As soon as he looked at her, she let go and buried her face in Jon's hoodie as though Shawn had grabbed her. He didn't know what to make of it.

Brian laughed. "At least she kind of wants you," he told Shawn. "I just get those mean looks."

"Hey," Jon interjected jovially. "She may mean mug you, but at least she doesn't scream when she sees you anymore."

They laughed and Shawn smiled as Bella reached out to him again while giving Leetch another unhappy scowl.

"Here," Jon said, handing her over to Shawn. He turned back to Brian to continue their conversation.

Shawn stood there woodenly holding the little girl who looked as though she couldn't quite believe that her father had just given her away. They stared at each other for a long moment. Shawn tried to remember what he did with Riley when she was this age, but he drew a blank. Bella put her hand against his collar bone and stiffened her arm, keeping him at a literal arm's length.

"Cole."

Shawn blinked. "What?"

"Coal." she scowled, looking like she might throw a fit.

Shawn turned to Audrey who was pulling a blanket out of Bella's bag.

Oh, cold! She's cold.

He took the blanket from her and gave it to Bella, expecting her to know what to do with it. The toddler looked at him like he was crazy.

"Co-wah." Her brow furrowed in indignation. She was beginning to get that awful look in her eyes again.

Shawn unfolded the blanket with one hand and put it around her shoulders. The moment the fabric was around her, Bella let out a big sigh, relaxed her arm, and sank against him. Her sudden, complete trust froze him. He didn't know what to do. Shawn stood there, ever so slightly rocking side to side because it seemed like the thing to do. It was, wasn't it? Didn't he do this Riley? Maybe? At any rate, Bella seemed content for the moment though he didn't know how long it would last.

Audrey wasn't watching Shawn and Bella although she could see them in her periphery vision. She was watching her husband watching them while maintaining his conversation. She saw the look of satisfaction and elation in his eyes. Jon had always been an extrovert, especially in places where he was most comfortable like the rink, but Audrey noticed there was an extra liveliness in him tonight, a lightness that she hadn't seen in years, and it was attracting more people to him. He was surrounded by parents, mostly fathers, and players both young and old who wanted to join his circle. When she did finally turn her attention to Shawn, she couldn't help but laugh at the very uncomfortable way he was standing and holding Bella.

"Shawn," she called him over to give him a break. "You won't make the whole session standing like that."

Shawn seemed relieved to give up his position and took a place next to her. Bella seemed neither happy nor upset as she remained with Shawn while holding tightly to a lock of her mother's hair. Halfway through the stick and puck session Jon pulled himself away from the glass around the ice to join his family in the bleachers. Julia with her friends in tow slid in next to her dad. When she noticed Shawn, she wrapped her arms around her father and gave Shawn another one of those unblinking stares that he couldn't get any information from. Shawn shifted uncomfortably but was saved from having to decipher the meaning of the look by an out-of-control puck slamming against the glass and causing Bella to jump. She yanked on Audrey's hair as she clung to Shawn for comfort from the loud noises of the arena.

The stick and puck session lasted about 65 minutes. At the end, Grayson skated off the ice and ran over to the bleachers chirping good-naturedly with a couple of friends.

"Hey, Dad," he said excitedly, running over to his father and Shawn, his eyes darting back and forth between the two men. "Coach says he's gonna move me to center and put me on the line with Kozy and Hawks next game."

"Great job, G," Jon told him proudly. "That's a faster line and it'll be good experience for you."

"Yeah, I think I need to run some extra speed drills so I can keep up," he said looking at his father hopefully.

"Not tonight, though."

"Oh, okay."

As the hockey crowd filtered out, the Turner family made their way down to the benches by the rink to get ready for the public skate. Shawn found it difficult to hold onto Bella and put the skates on Jon had given him. He was struggling so much that he missed the prod Audrey gave Julia in his direction. With a less than happy attitude, Julia went over to where Shawn was and planted herself in front of him.

"Need help?"

Shawn looked up, surprised to see her giving him a look other than that unnerving stare. Her expression was still unreadable but at least it was softer than before. He nodded and handed Bella over to her. Julia looked as though she was going to say something, then resorted to just giving him an uncertain look, before she walked off with her sister. Shawn shrugged it off by focusing on lacing his skates. Jon's skates fit him surprisingly well. As soon as he stood up, Jamie and Grayson were at his side. They grabbed his hands and pulled him towards the ice.

Audrey's days of ice skating were behind her until after the baby was born and it was with regret that she stayed on the player's bench watching her family skate without her. She was a solid skater and felt confident going onto the ice even in her state, but Jon wouldn't hear of it. Ordinarily, she would have put up a bigger protest, but skating while pregnant stressed him out too much. With all the pressure he was under with his job and nervousness about the new child she didn't want to add to his anxiety. She wasn't alone for very long, however, as Bella joined her on the bench shortly. She didn't care much for being put out the ice by her sister with a trainer that looked a short red version of an elderly person's walker and being then left behind. She much preferred skating with her father who would race her around the rink with her brothers and would rather wait for him. Grayson kindly skated her over to Audrey and let her into the player's area before zooming off to the others. Audrey grinned when she saw him go straight to Shawn. She was proud of her son for overcoming his shyness to engage with someone new.

It was quiet for a public skate. Usually, several of the hockey families stayed behind for the open session but it was a holiday weekend, and many were heading out of town the next day like many people in the area. There were only a few people other than her family out on the ice and the boys were taking full advantage of the empty ice by racing around the rink as fast as they could. Jon was right behind them, often overtaking them with his much longer strides. After an initial warm-up period, Shawn found his bearings got into thick of it. Whenever one of the younger boys would stop, the men would run up on them and stop just short to send a cascade of snow over them. The boys would try to do it to them with comical results. Bella couldn't stand being left out and cried for her father to get her. Even Julia, whose friends had stayed to skate, couldn't resist joining in.

It was a surreal experience for Audrey to watch the scene before her as she had long prayed for this to happen for her husband. This was his dream come true. She put her inability to be out there with them to good use and recorded everything she could on her phone. She even caught Julia laughing with Shawn.

It was nearly 9 P.M. when the family left the World Ice Arena. Despite the lateness, Jon took his wife and kids to a nearby food cart for a late snack. Although the day had been long and emotional, Jon felt wide awake and full of energy. Audrey, on the other hand, was losing more energy as time went on. But she said nothing as she wanted her husband to enjoy the night. They may all regret it in the morning, but there was no school for the next three days and besides, they were really celebrating Shawn's homecoming.

Industry Pond was gloriously lit up in the dark, casting dreamy illumination over the table the family sat at. Shawn stole a moment while everyone was occupied, to pull out his phone, fully charged thanks to Grayson, and send the text he'd been meaning to send for a long time.

Coming tomorrow to get my stuff.

An idea had been percolating in Shawn's mind since the stick and puck session. This summer would be Jon's and Audrey's 19th wedding anniversary and he wanted to do something special for them. He hadn't decided what that would be exactly but, in the interim, he wanted to start documenting this time with them right away. Shawn pressed his lips together in thought. If he was going to do this properly, he was going to have to commit to staying in the City, staying with Jon and Audrey long-term. He shifted uncomfortably. Was he ready for this? It would be one thing if his staying only meant interacting with his family, Cory included, of course. But he knew that that was not all that staying would involve. Staying meant dealing with Maya. Staying meant facing Katy.

Shawn looked at Jon, then Audrey. A warmth washed over him. This is what he always wanted as a kid- the three of them together; the three of them as a family. Could he really walk away from the opportunity to live that dream because of the complications Maya and Katy presented? Right now, he had no real responsibilities and his job allowed him to work from literally anywhere. He knew he'd never have a time like this again. But still...

His phone lit up with an incoming text.

Where are you?

Shawn debated on whether to tell Cory that he was in Flushing Meadows Corona Park sitting next to Jon. Ultimately, he decided against it. His friend had put him through an awful lot in the last year and it wouldn't hurt for him to sweat it out a bit. Besides, he had a lot of things to say to Cory and he wanted to say them in person.

Talk tomorrow.

With that, Shawn turned off his phone and immersed himself in his family.

It was nearly 11 when all the kids were finally in bed and the remaining tasks of the day were finished. Audrey sighed wearily, ready for bed herself, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep without first talking to Jon as she had not had the opportunity to do so since she had brought Shawn home. She found her husband in the upstairs living room with the TV on, staring absently at it. He looked tired but was no doubt still running on adrenaline. When he was like this, he would be up until the wee hours of the morning.

Audrey walked over to him and brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. He looked up at her and smiled tenderly. She settled in his lap like she often did with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her belly.

"Hey." she said softly.

"Hey." he replied, kissing her hair.

"How are you?"

"Good."

His thoughts were a mile away and it was unlikely he would be in the mood to talk. As much as she wanted to know what he was thinking and how he was feeling, the one thing she had learned in 17 years was to leave him be and eventually he would seek her out to talk.

Audrey yawned. There was an episode of Home Improvement on the television. It was an odd choice and she wondered if Jon even knew what he was watching. It didn't matter though, and she enjoyed the old show regardless of how many times she had seen the series.

As much as she wanted to stay awake until Jon was ready to go to bed, she found herself fighting to sleep. Just as she was drifting off, a change in her husband's breathing and the tightening of his grip put her on alert. Carefully, so not to disturb him, she turned her head to look at him and saw the reflected light of the television screen in the tears that were slipping down his cheeks. In the years that they had been married, she had only seen him cry a handful of times. Each time involved one of their children.

Tired as he was, Shawn was restless and couldn't relax enough to sleep. He thought he might grab a late-night snack. But by the time he got down to the kitchen, he was no longer hungry. He wandered around the house for a bit before ending up in the family room where Audrey said the photo albums were kept. Randomly, he picked an album and flipped through it. His pictures, the one Cory and Topanga had sent, were scattered through the pictures of the other kids. While his inclusion in the albums brought him a certain sense of belonging, they also brought a certain amount of sorrow. The album made it look as though he had been there all along, growing up alongside the other kids.

Suddenly lonely, Shawn returned the album to its place and started the hike up the stairs to his room. He wished that someone was still up, even if that someone was Julia, although he still wasn't sure if she considered him friend or foe.

A light coming from the upstairs living room caught his attention and he stopped just outside of the doors, quietly leaning in. He saw Audrey sitting on Jon's lap, sleepily snuggled against him. Every so often, his former teacher would absently kiss his wife's cheek. Shawn smiled, any worry about the state of their marriage eased with each loving stroke Jon gave her. A distant memory rowed itself to the forefront of his cluttered thoughts causing his smile to broaden. That memory was of Jon and Audrey's first kiss, the one he tricked Jon into.

0o0o

"Are you kiddin' me, Hunter? What has gotten into you today?"

Shawn couldn't answer the second question, but he could definitely answer the first.

"No, I'm not."

His teacher gave an exasperated sigh and went to his bedroom to change his clothes which were soaking wet thanks to Shawn.

"All I'm saying is live a little, Jon." he continued yelling into the bedroom from where he was standing in the living room. His jeans, shoes, and half of his shirt were just as wet as Jon's clothes.

"I live just enough, thank you," came the irritated return. "I can live just fine without gettin' dragged through an open fire hydrant. You didn't do that to Audrey, I noticed."

"I didn't need to," the teen chirped mischievously. "Audrey knows how to live on the edge."

The redhead shot him an amused look as she took a seat on the couch. She didn't know what had gotten into Shawn either, but he was just having some harmless fun. Harmless, except to Jon's ego perhaps.

"Does she now?" Jon grumpily exited his bedroom, drying his hair with a hand towel.

"Yeah, nobody had to beg her to ride the roller coasters at Six Flags."

"Is that what this is about? Are you kiddin' me?"

It was an absurd thing to harass his teacher about but Shawn knew what he was doing. He got the idea while they were in the bumper boats at the miniature golf place, and he was determined to see it through. He knew Jon well enough to know what buttons to push to get under his skin. Shawn had to get him just irritated enough for this to work.

"Well, you wouldn't go on any of them with us."

"I went on the Last Ride. I think I proved myself on that."

Shawn snorted in derision. "You didn't choose to do that. You and Eric got pushed on that ride by Cory and Mr. Feeny. No way would you do that on your own." Turning to Audrey, he said with faux sympathy. "I'm sorry Jon's so stuffy and boring. You deserve way better."

The English Lit teacher had just about had it with Shawn's taunting. Normally, he would have ignored the boy or dished it back to him, but he was frustrated that Shawn chose to do this in front of Audrey and he was getting flustered.

"What do you want from me, Hunter?" He sank unhappily on the couch next to Audrey who was clearly trying not to laugh.

"Prove you're not boring."

Jon gave him an apprehensive glare. He said nothing.

"See!" Shawn said to Audrey holding his hands out towards Jon. "He won't even say anything! He's boring."

"Fine," the teacher snapped. "What do you want me to do?"

Shawn sat on the back of the couch. He knew he almost had Jon. He licked his lips trying to contain himself. He didn't want to jump ahead and ruin his plan.

"Take a dare."

Jon rolled his eyes at the juvenile demand. "Like what? Prank call Feeny?"

Shawn hadn't thought of that. He paused. It was an interesting idea actually, but he pushed it away, determined not to get distracted. What he had in mind was so much better.

"I dare you," he smirked at Audrey who was regarding him curiously. "I dare you to kiss Audrey."

They both stared at him for a moment. Audrey was as shocked as Jon was. She put her hand over her mouth to hide her reaction; she didn't think the man next to her would appreciate it.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Jon repeated, unable to believe what he was hearing.

A deliciously devious smile overtook the boy's face. "I double dog dare you."

Jon was dumbfounded and more than a little disturbed. He couldn't wrap his head around why Shawn would do this to him in front of Audrey. He could feel his blood pressure rising rapidly.

When his teacher started to shake his head no, Shawn upped the ante. "I triple dog dare you to kiss her."

Jon bit his tongue, trying to contain his temper. He felt like a caged animal. This wasn't fair. What did he do to make Shawn turn on him like this?

"Are you okay with this?" he asked his student teacher, desperate for help. Normally, he could rely on her for support.

Audrey held out her hands as she shrugged noncommittally, struggling to maintain a neutral expression. "A dare's a dare," was all she said and that was a cop out as far as Jon was concerned.

"Why aren't you daring her?" he snapped petulantly, turning back to Shawn. He was completely alone on this matter, he realized.

Shawn smirked. "I know she'll take a dare. Audrey's fun: She'll try new stuff, she's impulsive. But if it makes you feel better..." He turned to Audrey with puckish glee. "I dare you to kiss Jon."

It was all she could do not to burst out laughing at the look of sheer discomfort on Jon's face and the look of triumph on Shawn's. Jon started to protest that all she got was a simple dare. Shawn shrugged, clearly pleased with himself.

"You got a triple dog dare," she told Jon. "You kind of can't turn those down. Otherwise, you look really bad."

"See?" Shawn jumped up jubilantly. "I told you so!"

"This is ridiculous!"

"I knew he was too much of a coward." Shawn gave Audrey a sympathetic smile, pretending to be defeated.

"I am not!" Jon couldn't believe how much control he was giving Shawn over his emotions, but it was too late to get it back now.

"Five bucks says you won't do it."

With money now on the table, Jon had a choice to make. He was outnumbered, that much was obvious; they had sided together against him. He had no idea what Audrey would think of him if he backed out of this. Maybe she wouldn't care. Maybe she was only indulging Shawn. But then maybe she would care if he refused. Could he take that chance? He glared at Shawn before making his decision.

As Jon leaned in to kiss Audrey, Shawn's jaw dropped, and his heart felt like it stopped. He couldn't believe it-it worked; the dare actually worked! He was thrilled to see Audrey lean into the kiss. It was apparent they both forgot he was there. He tried so hard to hold back the excitement that was threatening to burst through his skin. He didn't last long. A loud, joyous 'yes!" escaped his lips. This, of course, broke the moment. Jon sat back looking embarrassed for a minute before turning towards his charge who was giving him the most deranged grin he'd ever seen.

"All right," he said gruffly, his cheeks blazing bright red. He held his hand out to Shawn. "I want the five bucks."

Shawn's eyes sparkled with an impish gleam and his shoulders shook with laughter. He looked back and forth between the two on the couch before he gave Jon's hand a hard slap.

"I don't have five bucks. I just wanted to see you guys kiss!"

Audrey burst into embarrassed laughter as Jon lunged over the back of the couch making a grab for Shawn, who gleefully danced out of his reach and back to his room howling in triumph, his wet sneakers squeaking all the way.

Pulling himself back to the present, Shawn put a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to come out. That was, undoubtedly, one of his proudest moments back then. Watching his friends now, he was thankful that no more tricks were needed to get them together. Then he thought back to all the times they all sat on the couch together at Jon's apartment watching TV and falling asleep in front of it. His merriment faded some as he watched them. An irresistible desire to join the couple overcame him. He didn't want to interrupt, though. He thought he should just go on to bed, but he found himself quietly walking into the room anyway.

Audrey saw him first and greeted him with a warm, sleepy smile. She tapped her husband's hand and nodded towards Shawn. In the light of the TV, Shawn saw his mentor's face light up, making him feel better about his intrusion.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Jon said as Audrey pulled out of his arms. She settled herself next to him and pulled a pillow on her lap.

She remembers!

For a sweet moment, the years dissolved away. He lay down on the couch and put his head on the pillow. He felt Audrey's fingers begin gently massage his scalp. With a happy sigh, he took that hand and kissed her palm before letting go. When he was fifteen and they would watch TV like this, Shawn would daydream that Jon and Audrey were married, and they had adopted him. This time around it was no dream. He felt a contentment he hadn't felt in so very long.

It's too bad you can't adopt an adult.

As Shawn drifted off to sleep watching the Home Improvement episode that was playing, it occurred to him that Al looked vaguely like the animal control guy Topanga had called to pick up little Cory once upon a time.

AN: How many BWM episode references can you find? lol

Chapter Text

We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.

-Fulton Oursler

Topanga had been scheduled to work but decided to take the day off from her office to enjoy some quality time with the family. However, both Riley and Auggie took off on her to be with friends, leaving her alone with her husband. It amused her that things worked out this way- had she tried to plan a day alone with Cory it would have no doubt backfired on her and she would have ended up with a house full of kids. Cory, however, was unaware of this turn of event as he was unable to think of anything other than Shawn. Ordinarily, that would irritate her, but their friend was heavy on her mind as well.

The only contact they'd had with Shawn was the two short texts he sent Cory the night before. He was unreachable afterwards. They had not heard from Jon or Audrey either and that was very unusual. Cory, desperate for some word on their best friend, tried multiple times to call the Turner house, but Topanga strongly advised against it in case things had gone badly with Shawn. She knew eventually they would hear from Audrey if Jon didn't get a hold of Cory first. Unfortunately, not knowing what was going on was driving her husband crazy.

Topanga busied herself with unfinished household chores to take the edge off her concern. On her third trip downstairs from the kids' rooms, she caught her husband chewing nervously on the nails of his right hand. Horrified by the damage he was inflicting on himself; she ran over to stop him. Cory looked up at her, looking more like a lost puppy than an adult father of two.

"Cory, what are you doing?" she asked, grabbing his hand away from his mouth.

"What?"

He really didn't know what he was doing, Topanga realized by the surprised look on his face when she pointed it out to him.

"Cory, we'll hear from them...one of them eventually," she assured him, gently rubbing his damaged fingertips. "Just don't freak out. I need you to not freak out."

"I can't help it, Topanga. You didn't see the look on Shawn's face before he left the bakery," he fretted, unconsciously trying to take his hand back. "He won't respond to calls or texts. I don't know what to do."

"Be patient," was all she could say. In truth, she didn't know what to do either, but she worried that if she voiced anything that wasn't positive, he might completely fall apart on her.

If it had been anyone else in the world, Cory would be fine in time. But this was Shawn they were dealing with. If he didn't come around, if he should severe the friendship, that would be the end of life as she knew it. Cory would never recover from the loss. Before she could say anything else to him, the doorbell rang. Topanga silently blessed whoever it was for giving them a much needed interruption as she went to the door.

"Shawn!"

At his name, Cory, with more dexterity than he'd displayed in years, leapt over the back of the couch and was at her side.

It was Shawn at their door but the look on his face froze Cory and he took several steps back to give his best friend some space to enter.

Shawn said nothing as he stepped over the threshold. He gave Topanga a glance before returning his gaze to Cory.

"I'm here for my stuff," he said flatly. There was no emotion on his face.

Cory would have been lying if he said Shawn's appearance didn't scare him just a little. All he could think about was the last time they had seen each other and how that meeting ended. He stuttered out a response that made little sense.

"Everything is Auggie's room," Topanga offered when Cory did not. She hoped it would appease him and that he might stay long enough to make peace with her husband.

Cory shot her a dirty look. He didn't want Shawn to know that until they'd had a chance to talk. If he knew where his things were he might take off on them. He looked back to find Shawn within inches of his face with that same dead expression. He held his breath and watched in confusion as his best friend's face morphed into a big grin.

Shawn started laughing. He grabbed Cory into a bear hug. For the first time in their friendship Cory did not return the hug. He couldn't. He was completely disarmed and stupefied. Even his wife seemed uncertain about the abrupt change.

Shawn looked back and forth between them. "Lighten up, guys," he chuckled at their expressions. "Everythin' is okay."

"Are you sure?" Topanga asked hesitantly. Cory was unable to say anything.

"Yeah, I am. Really." He was surprised by their cautiousness. "I met with both Audrey and Jon yesterday. I was out with the family last night when I texted you. I turned off my phone later and it wasn't until I was almost here that I realized I forgot to turn it back on." He turned to Cory. "Sorry about that, man."

Cory shook his head. "It's fine," he said unsteadily, feeling as though he had just stepped off the Gravitron. He felt woozy and disoriented.

"So," Topanga asked, trying hold back her excitement at hearing that he did meet up with their friends. "How'd things go with Jon?"

"Great," Shawn assured her. "It went really great. Thank you both for making me do that. I really needed it." To Cory he specifically said, "Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Yeah, well, giving up really wasn't an option," Cory shrugged, finally regaining control over his speech. He was relieved but still worried that Shawn wasn't being completely honest with them. This was a drastic change from the last time he saw him. "Why are you getting your stuff?"

"I still gotta work."

"Yeah, but you're staying with us," he insisted. "So just leave it here."

"I'm not stayin' with you guys, but thanks. I am stayin' in the City, so don't worry- I'll be around. A lot." With that he bounded up the stairs to Auggie's room.

Cory should have been thrilled to hear this, but he wasn't. Something didn't feel right about this sudden turnaround. He looked to his wife for help.

"This is good," she told him. "It's a start."

"I don't know, Topanga," Cory shook his head. "We haven't heard from Jon or Audrey, and I think if he really met with Jon we would have. This would be huge for Jon, and we've heard nothing."

"I know. I know." Topanga didn't know what else to say. She was also experiencing a bit of worry hangover.

The doorbell rang again, and they looked at each other in surprise. Once again, Topanga answered the door. This time it was Grayson.

"Hi, Aunt Topanga. Hi, Uncle Cory," he greeted them cheerfully. "I stopped to play with Mrs. M's boxer before coming over."

The couple exchanged looks. It was an interesting coincidence that Grayson showed up while Shawn was with them.

"Hey, G," Cory said more jovially than he felt. "How's hockey going?"

"Good, I just got moved to center." The boy looked around their home curiously. It was the first time since he started seriously playing hockey that he wasn't eager to talk about it. "Hey, is Shawn almost ready? We're supposed to play his PS1 today."

Cory and Topanga looked at each other in amazement. Slow grins spread simultaneously over their faces.

"Yeah, he's getting his stuff," Cory told him. "He should be down soon."

Sure enough, they heard Shawn thundering down the stairs with his equipment bag in hand. When he saw Grayson at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him, he grinned and ruffled his hair. Cory felt himself on the verge of tearing up at the sight of this. Topanga already was.

"Welcome home, Shawn," Cory said quietly.

Shawn didn't say anything, he just reached out to hug Cory. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Topanga. A few tears had managed to slip down her cheeks. He reached out and pulled her into the embrace.

"It's good to be home."

The three lifelong friends stood like that for a long moment before letting go of each other. Shawn looked expectantly at Cory and held out his hand,

"My wallet?"

Sheepishly, Cory reached into his back pocket, took the wallet out, and handed it back to its owner.

"I can't believe you stole my wallet!" Shawn gave him a mock scowl as he put his wallet in his own pocket.

"I didn't!" the teacher laughed. "I found it on the couch. You should pay more attention to your stuff!"

"You know," Topanga said as Shawn and Grayson headed towards the door. "There's an apartment just down the hall that's opening up next week."

Cory beamed at Shawn with his arms held out wide full of hope that they would finally be neighbors. Shawn hated to disappoint him, but he had to decline. "I have a place already," he said apologetically.

"Yeah!" Grayson interjected. "If you wanna see Shawn, come over to my house. He's just down the hall from Jamie and me!"

Cory's grin got impossibly large, and he felt like he could burst from joy. That Shawn would finally be staying in the room that had waited for him all these years was better than anything he could have hoped for.

His best friend truly was home.

Audrey was growing increasingly concerned about Jon's health. He was always exhausted when he was home, and his self-care had fallen off drastically. She suggested that he take some time for himself to get some rest. But rather than nap as she'd hoped, he said he had some reading to do. She let him go while biting back a sharp remark that the reading had better not be for work. It would only make him retreat if she said anything against work if that was what he wanted to do.

Frustrated, she ended up in the kitchen, absently trying to figure out what to do for dinner that was hours away. Julia wandered into the kitchen for a soda and asked where her father was. When she told her, Julia frowned and wrinkled her nose.

"Why don't you go with him?"

"He wants to read."

"What do you want to do?"

"Sleep."

"So sleep."

Julia convinced her that she was okay with dealing with the kids, of which there were only two since Grayson was with Shawn, while she relaxed. She kissed her daughter's cheek in gratitude and left to make the trek up to the bedroom. Brownstone homes had not been designed with pregnant women in mind; there were far too many stairs. Audrey made it as far as Jon's office before sagging against the wall to rest.

Jon's office.

The concerns that she had been trying to ignore before Shawn came home now surrounded her. Did it bother her that he chose to read over spending some time with her?

So yes. Yes, it did bother her. Very much.

She knocked without thinking on the door. Knocking on closed doors was something they strove to model for their children when they were young and, after four kids, it was a habit that stuck; she and her husband sometimes found themselves knocking on the door of their own bedroom waiting for someone to respond.

When he didn't answer she gently pushed the door open. Sometimes, he could get so engrossed in a book that he couldn't hear anything, even if the house was falling down around him. She was surprised to find that he wasn't there.

Audrey frowned and let out a weary sigh. On his desk was the book he was reading: Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now? 

Audrey sighed again this time in mild frustration. That book was from "the wall". One wall of Jon's office was all bookcases packed with books from floor to ceiling. One section of the wall housed a collection of books similar to the one he was reading that she hated. It wasn't because they weren't good books; they were. It was the reason for them that she could not stand. The reason the collection continued to grow, the reason they were reread, was not based on reality but regret and fear of a future-possible.

Audrey stared at the shelves filled with titles like: Parenting Mistakes that Push Your Child Away, The Importance of Winning Your Child's Heart, Surviving a Prodigal: Studies for Parents of Prodigals, Reclaiming our Prodigal Sons and Daughters: A Practical Approach for Connecting with Youth in Crisis, Parents with Broken Hearts: Helping Parents of Prodigals to Hope, Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: Fortifying Our Youth and Healing Our Prodigals, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Better Dads, Stronger Sons: How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of Character, How to Become the Husband and Father Your Family Needs, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence, Keep the Doors Open: Lessons Learned from a Year of Foster Parenting, and so many more. 

To those on the outside, these books made sense for a well-read man who was a former English Literature teacher and current superintendent. However, Audrey saw something else entirely. These were not an educator's resource shelves; this was a wall of unforgiveness. Books that were purchased and read over and over for the purpose of finding flaws in himself that he could fix.

The only problem was he was looking for flaws that he did not have. He was looking to correct mistakes he had not made.

She wished he would get rid of these books. Sell them. Donate them. Burn them. Just get them out of the house. Their children were well-adjusted. Shawn was home. He did not need to torment himself anymore. But she knew he would.

Jon was an expert at giving compassionate, honest advice to people, specifically parents, but he was terrible at applying the same principles to himself. Where he could easily forgive others for their mistakes, he would not forgive himself for the same ones. He would never agree to get rid of them, not until the last child was an adult. Only then could he believe he hadn't failed as a parent. He was a good man and an excellent father and husband. It broke her heart that he couldn't see that; that he heaped expectations on himself that he could not live up to. She was terrified he would break under the pressure.

Audrey was so immersed in her concerns that she didn't hear Jon enter the room. It wasn't until she felt strong hands on her shoulders that she realized he was in the room. She hid her concern the best she could behind a smile as she leaned back against him.

"Hey." He sounded exhausted.

"Hey." She turned towards him and looked into dark eyes that had once been so bright and full of life just two years ago.

"What's up?" he asked, holding her as close as their child would allow as he rubbed her lower back. He couldn't be still. He felt he had to be doing something.

"Nothing." She paused. That wasn't true but she didn't know how much she could say without adding more worry to him. "I was just wondering how you're doing. You haven't had much rest lately."

"I'm fine," he replied, placing a kiss on her collar bone.

Audrey bit back a sigh as he kissed her cheeks and nose. He often did this to avoid talking.

"Jon."

"Hmm?"

"Why are you reading that book again?"

He stopped kissing her and pulled away enough that he could look in her gray eyes that were as tumultuous as the sea in a tropical storm. "I need to," was all he said.

"No, you don't."

"Shawn's home."

"Yes, that's why you don't need these anymore." She motioned to the books behind her.

At that he pulled away completely and went over to his desk. Her heart sank. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut, but she just couldn't do it.

He glanced at her over his shoulder. "I want him to stay."

"He will."

It was barely perceptible, but she saw him shake his head in disagreement. Audrey put a hand over her mouth to prevent her frustration from coming out and closed her eyes. That book and those like it had become like Bibles to him; he was so afraid of doing anything that might alienate his children, especially as they became teenagers that he was constantly scouring those books for a way to prevent it.

When Julia was first born, he struggled to discipline her, preferring to push that job onto her. Though it was hard for him, he did become actively involved in setting and enforcing house rules and they were a solid team by the time Grayson came along. In time, discipline became his strong suit: he was excellent at it as father, assistant principal, then principal. He was fair and balanced, and he had the respect of his children and students.

That is until Julia turned fifteen and he suddenly lost the ability to discipline her. Overnight, he became far too lenient with her even though he knew it wasn't good. And now the other children were noticing it. Jon blamed the loss of control on Julia being a teenager and a girl and not knowing how to navigate that.

Audrey knew better. He had years of experience with teen girls during his career, enough that he could apply it to his daughter. There was only one reason that he would suddenly shy away from this area with Julia. It was the same reason for rereading those books. Jon had convinced himself that his failed attempts to create and enforce rules and be a good father were reasons why Shawn went back to his dad and created the rift between them.

"He's not fifteen anymore."

"I know that."

"Then why are you reading that book again?"

He didn't answer. Audrey couldn't hide her frustration anymore.

"The reason Shawn left had nothing to do with you and everything to do with Chet!"

Still, he said nothing. Finally, he turned and sat on the edge of his desk. "I wasn't there when he really needed me."

"When was that?"

"Not signin' those papers sent a very clear message to him. I should have signed them. I had no reason not to."

It was Audrey's turn to be silent. She shouldn't say anything; she was getting too upset. But she couldn't stay silent either.

"Jon, we've been over and over this. Signing those papers may not have changed anything. Chet would have still come back, and Shawn would most likely still have wanted to be with him. He loved us but he still loved Chet. And you know what Chet did when he found out. You have to let this go. You didn't fail Shawn- Chet did!"

"There were things I shoulda done better," he insisted, his voice rising in frustration. "I wasn't strict enough with him. I didn't teach him enough." He was yelling now, but it wasn't directed at her. "I wasn't home enough. I shouldn't have dated while he was with me."

Why didn't I handle things better?

"And I should have told you about my eating disorder the first time you asked," she snapped back just as sharply, causing him to look up. "If I had, I wouldn't have had my student teaching terminated and we could have stayed together. I would have been there for you both when Chet came back. It's my fault that things turned out the way they did with Shawn."

Jon stared at her like she'd had a psychotic break. "What are you talkin' about? It wasn't your fault," he insisted adamantly.

"It wasn't yours either! Don't you see what you're doing?! You've got to stop flogging yourself for what Chet did!" She didn't mean to yell at him. The emotional upheaval of the day before and the hormones she was dealing with got the better of her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, on the verge of tears.

"It's okay." He reached over for her hand. "I just...I just don't wanna take the chance of losin' one of the other kids the way I lost Shawn."

"That's not possible, Jon," she said wearily into the collar of his shirt. She was suddenly feeling very weak and nauseated. "Shawn's problems began long before you came into his life. Our kids have always had you and you are nothing like Chet. Nothing. His sins are not yours." Audrey's groan of frustration into his chest sounded more like a growl. "You can't repeat mistakes you never made."

"I know," he sighed sounding though the last of his energy was depleting rapidly. "I just can't take the chance. Not while they're still at home."

Audrey clung to him as though she might lose him completely if she lost physical contact with him. Tentatively, she ventured, "I think you should see David again."

"What?" Jon was not expecting that. He knew the David she was referring to: Dr. David Durran. He was a close family friend, but initially he had been their marriage counselor. "I don't understand. We're fine, Audrey." He was suddenly very worried about something that had not previously crossed his mind. "Aren't we?"

"Yes," she assured him. "But I'm worried about you. You're under so much pressure and you're not talking to me like you used to. Maybe it would help to see him."

"No," he said firmly after a while. He rubbed her back in long gentle strokes; touch was her love language and he tried to always indulge that as much as he could. It also tended to distract her from things he did not want to deal with. "It's not that serious. If I really need to talk, I'll call Eli. But I'm fine, Aud, really, I am."

Audrey despised the word "fine".

Grayson ran up ahead of Shawn to set up the PlayStation. His chosen game was Crash Bandicoot Warped and Shawn knew he was going to get his butt handed to him by a ten-year-old because it had been years since he played any videos games. Grayson would have to choose a game he had played all of once.

Shawn hauled his equipment up the stairs. It was heavier than it should have been. Perhaps he should have checked to make sure he had everything of his and nothing of Auggie's in there. Stopping by the door of Jon's office, Shawn started to unzip the camera bag, but the sounds coming from the office made him stop.

He couldn't tell what was being said, only how. Nausea swept over him and sweat beads formed across his brow. He had heard these sounds many times in his childhood, but these were sounds he never dreamed he would hear within these walls.

Jon and Audrey were yelling at each other.

The unkind and abusive words his parents used to hurl at one another came at him with a vengeance. Shawn dropped his bag and put his hands on either side of his head trying to stop the painful throbbing. He had no idea how long he stood there listening to the yelling and he wasn't sure whose yelling he was actually hearing- Jon and Audrey or ghosts from his past. At some point, he became aware of a small presence beside him. It was Grayson looking anxiously at him rather than at his father's office door.

"Shawn, are you okay?"

Shawn blinked and listened carefully. All was quiet and still. No yelling.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said softly, still at attention to what was going on around him. Arguing was always followed by something else equally unpleasant: slamming doors, something breaking, a fist through a wall, sobbing. But there was nothing. Nothing but silence.

Shawn straightened up. "Sorry. Head started hurtin'," he tried to explain to the young boy, not wanting to upset him.

"We don't have to play if you don't feel like it."

Grayson's large brown eyes stared up at him with deep concern. Shawn summoned up everything he had to smile.

"Nah, I'm fine. Really. Let's go play some Crash."

Grayson nodded, still unsure. He helped Shawn gather his bag from the floor and walked beside him in case his brother should need him. Before going into his room, Shawn cast a worried look back down at the end of the hall. Maybe he had been hearing things.

But he knew he hadn't. He knew something was wrong between Jon and Audrey.

Dinner was a family event whether everyone in the family wanted it to be or not. Julia was the one who wanted to eat in her room away from the others. Grayson was the one advocating for her to do so; he figured dinner would be more fun without her. But he got over the disappointment of his sister being forced to stay at the table quickly when Jon told him he could sit by Shawn.

Shawn found out from Audrey that on nights when Jon was home for dinner, meals tended to last much longer than normal due to all the talking. She told him to feel free to leave if it got too much. He didn't ask her about it then, but it was alarming to him to hear that Jon rarely made it to dinner during the school week.

"We're not allowed to say 'booty' or 'shut up'," Grayson was telling Shawn about the family while happily throwing various members under the bus. "So, Jamie called Julia the worst thing he could think of. He called her a 'booty shut up'." He started laughing so hard tears escaped the corner of his eyes.

Jamie looked at his parents then at his sister. "Well, she is," he said quietly, sinking down in his seat watching to see if the adults heard him. The coast seemed clear, and he sat back up only to catch a warning look from his father. He smiled sheepishly and went back to eating his chicken nuggets.

"So what?" Julia responded to Grayson while shooting daggers at Jamie. "When Grayson was three, he had a meltdown because the door of his imaginary car wouldn't open, and he was stuck inside."

Instead of being offended, Grayson grinned. "I was so cute."

Everyone laughed except Julia who rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile.

"As I recall" Audrey added to Grayson's story telling. "When Julia was three, we were driving to Philly on our own and she kept begging to have her window down. I wouldn't let her because we were on the interstate. She began to cry. And she wouldn't stop, so I turned the music on and up. After about half an hour, she stopped and asked me, 'Mommy, why am I crying?' She sat there all that time crying and didn't know why."

"I was cuter," Julia stuck her tongue out at Grayson.

"Last week," Jon said pointing to the toddler who was standing up in her highchair trying to get Shawn's attention. "Bella got mad that someone took a bite out of her strawberry. It was her. She was the one who took a bite out of her strawberry."

The family was in tears by the time the story telling was done. Shawn very much wished he had been there to experience them firsthand.

Because it was Saturday, a movie was chosen by the kid of the week from the family film collection. It was Jamie's turn, much to everyone's chagrin, as it meant watching A Bug's Life for the hundredth time. Because Shawn had not seen the movie Jamie sat on his lap and gave him the play-by-play throughout the entire film. By the movie's end, it was safe to say Shawn still had no idea what A Bug's Life was about. Jon left once the lights went back on to get Bella ready for bed. When he brought her back to the family room, she ran around giving everyone kisses and saying goodnight until her father caught her. They could still hear her saying "goo- ight" all the way up the stairs.

Since it was Shawn's first family night, Audrey told Jamie to let him pick the board game they would play. He couldn't remember the last time he had played a board game. He looked at the extensive game collection and found Balderdash. It was his favorite game. He, Jon, and Audrey used to play on Friday nights when he was in high school. Balderdash was based on an old game called Dictionary. As he was looking for the game over, trying to recall the rules, Julia wandered over trying to remain aloof.

"Is that what you're choosin'?" she asked arching an eyebrow with an expression that looked very much like her father.

"Yeah, why?"

"IDK," she shrugged. "We just don't play it much."

"You don't like it?"

She didn't answer his question. "Jamie's a pain in the butt if we don't play Splat."

"Oh."

"Please don't pick Splat."

Shawn smiled and brought Balderdash to the coffee table. The object of the game was to come up with a definition for each word being played that could be mistaken as the correct definition by the other players or pick the right definition for each word being played. If those playing were creative, the game could be incredibly humorous. The fun was to come up with the most outrageous, but believable definition possible.

Jon still hadn't returned by the time the game was set up, but Audrey told them to start anyway; he would join them later. Shawn gave her a quizzical look.

"He always reads Bella a bedtime story," she explained. "And sometimes he falls asleep before she does. He'll be back eventually."

As Julia predicted, Jamie made a nuisance of himself, whining that they weren't playing Splat. Balderdash was hard for a six-year-old to play so Shawn had Jamie join his "team". This delighted the boy and Splat was forgotten. Shawn's chances of winning decreased significantly with his new teammate; Jamie had a tough time keeping their answers quiet until he told him that they were trying to prank the others into choosing their answer as the correct one. This strategy worked. By the time Jon got back to the family, the game was well underway. Because he was late, he joined Audrey, sparking a protest from the kids. Julia thought he should have to play alone due to his status as a former English literature teacher. Ultimately, the teams ended up more balanced: Shawn and Jamie, Julia and Audrey, Jon and Grayson.

Just like when he was a teen, the game lasted until midnight with everyone in hysterics by the time it was over. Shawn couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard. There was something cathartic in being completely carefree with family. It allowed him to temporarily forget about all his concerns both about his future and Jon and Audrey's. It was eveb later by the time they all trudged upstairs to bed. The euphoria followed them, and it wasn't until he saw Jon take Audrey by the arm to help her up the stairs that he remembered the incident he had overheard outside of Jon's office. Perhaps, he was hearing things that afternoon. Nothing was out of the ordinary that night.

Everything is fine, he told himself. Nothing bad can happen here.

And that was what he was still trying to convince himself of when he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sunday was a quieter day. Aside from church and family walk in Central Park, it was a lazy day at home. The only disruption to the tranquility of the weekend was Riley and Auggie coming over while their parents went out for some time alone. Though he'd promised to get to know Riley better, he still wanted to hide when they showed up at the house.

It wasn't the kids themselves that posed the problem. Shawn was worried that Maya might also appear at some point as she was always with Riley. With Maya came reality and it was a reality that Shawn did not want to deal with now. For the time being, if even just for the duration of the weekend, he wanted to forget about being a potential father and husband and just be a son and brother. So he and the boys, including Auggie, holed up in his room playing PlayStation games for most of the afternoon, hiding from the girls and coming out only for snacks.

The rest of the weekend flew by far too fast for Shawn's liking. Monday was a slow start to a normal schedule and most of the day was spent at the rink. Julia had an early morning jump and spins class followed by freestyle time. Grayson had practice that day as well. Dinner was at a restaurant, and everyone went to bed early with no complaints.

Tuesday was Shawn's first experience with a regular schedule in the Turner household. Jon was out of the door before almost anyone else was up and Shawn very nearly missed him. Julia was on her father's heels as he took her to school. The boys, bleary eyed and half awake, stumbled downstairs in time to say goodbye before being hustled back upstairs to get changed for school. Shawn did everything he could to help Audrey get everyone ready without getting in the way. After school was just as hectic with after school activities that saw the family reunited at the ice rink. Then home for dinner, schoolwork, and bed.

The same thing was repeated the next day. And the next. Once they got back from school, Shawn continued his efforts to help Audrey, especially with Bella. On the first day Bella was still a little uncertain about his ability to take care of her, but by the third day she was ordering him around just like she did Grayson and Jamie.

On Thursday after dropping the boys off at school, Audrey decided to take a nap with Bella, leaving Shawn on his own. While he was used to the hustle required for catching planes and other transportation in order to be at some event or shoot for his job, this was a different level of busyness and one that made his head spin. The thing that bothered him about the week was how little he saw Jon. He could only catch a few minutes here and there with him and none of those minutes were uninterrupted. There had already been two nights that Jon didn't make it home for dinner; one night he had a dinner meeting with a parent group, the other night he was simply working late. Although Julia wasn't exactly keen on talking to him, she did confirm what Audrey told him: this was a common occurrence and her dad often missed family meals during the school week. Only occasionally did he ask Audrey to bring him something from home; he usually ate out. This continued to bother Shawn and renewed the worry he had for Jon and Audrey.

Thursday night brought Jon home early, or rather at a normal time. There were no practices or other extracurricular activities, just homework and study for the kids. Jon disappeared into his office for a while but reappeared for dinner. Afterwards, Shawn offered to be on kitchen detail. He was meticulous in a way he never usually was when it came to cleaning.

"Shawn, relax, will you?" Jon told him as he put his dishes into the dishwasher. "You don't have to be constantly doin' stuff for us. You're not bein' charged rent."

Shawn looked up from scrubbing the stove top a bit sheepish. "Yeah, okay. Sorry."

"But do feel free to handle breakfast and lunch on your own. Some things haven't changed."

Shawn saw the twinkle in his eye and laughed. "So, you're sayin' that Audrey's still not my personal chef."

"Nope. Not mine either. Bella's maybe."

He nodded, amused. Since he had Jon's attention for the moment he asked, "Hey, Jon. Is every week this busy?"

"Pretty much. From September to June anyway. It does get better in April when hockey and figure skating wind down until the fall."

"I meant for you."

"No, it's like this pretty much all year. I've got two months off in the summer, though. I'm already lookin' forward to that."

Shawn tossed the cleaning rag back and forth between his hands. "Any chance you could take some time off this weekend? You and Audrey go do somethin'?"

"I wish I could," Jon replied with a far off look in his eye. "But I've got a lot to do around the house."

"Let me do it."

"No, Shawn. You aren't here to work."

Shawn frowned, wondering how he could convince Jon to let him take over some of his responsibilities. "Don't the other kids have chores?"

"Yeah." The older man gave him a curious look.

"Am I one of your kids?"

"Of course, you are."

"Then give me some chores."

"I'll think about it." Jon laughed. Time certainly had a way of changing things. The last time the topic of chores had come up, he was trying to convince Shawn to do them.

For Shawn, Jon's lack of a definitive answer worried him further. Jon was obviously tired, and Shawn thought he would jump at the chance to take a break.

What's wrong here?

"Well," he tried again. "At least let me pick Julia up tomorrow and take her to her skatin' class. You can go home early."

"That would be nice." Jon shook his head. "I don't know, Jules might not like it. That's usually our time together."

"Come on, just this once. Besides, you keep saying Julia and I need to spend time together."

"Maybe." Jon continued to stay away from committing to anything. "Anyway, come by the office on Friday after school. If nothing else, you can come with us to the arena."

It wasn't the answer Shawn was looking for, but it was better than nothing.

Friday morning came and Shawn rolled unhappily out of bed. His sleep had been fractured: too many dreams of what had been- unpleasant and terrifying; too many dreams of what might have been- bittersweet and depressing upon waking and realizing there had never been such experiences.

The last weekday was like every day that had been before it. Shawn and the boys were barely up in time to say goodbye to Jon and Julia. After grabbing a cup of coffee, Shawn turned around to see Grayson and Jamie staring blankly at him as though they might fall asleep on their feet.

Audrey wasn't up yet. Or at least she wasn't downstairs yet.

"So," Shawn drew the word out trying to think of what to do. He went over their schedule in his head. "Go get dressed and I'll fix somethin' for breakfast."

The boys were suddenly awake and most definitely curious about what their brother might consider breakfast. As they ran up the stairs, Jamie yelled back, "We're not allowed to eat anythin' that doesn't have sugar in it!"

Shawn smiled and started opening cabinets. He had no idea what to fix and there was no time for cooking. So, per Jamie's instructions, he found the most sugar-laden cereal, milk, and a couple of oranges and set everything out on the dining room table for the younger boys.

Jamie and Grayson were half-way through breakfast when Audrey finally made it downstairs, full of apologies. She was up most of the night with her back hurting. It was so bad that Jon ended up in the main level guest room so he could sleep. Hearing this bothered Shawn, but Audrey seemed fine with it. Because they were in a hurry and the boys were with them, he held off asking her any questions.

Later, he found her in the living room folding clothes after Bella went down for a nap. Shawn watched her from the doorway for a while wondering how to approach her about his concerns. When he was a teen, he dreamed of Audrey being his mother. At the time, it made sense to him. She was fun and warm, caring and smart, and there was a very maternal side to her that far surpassed her years. Despite her struggle with an eating disorder and the stressful situation with her father, Audrey managed to be the stable influence that both he and Jon needed. She brought a balance to their lives, and they struggled less to live together and navigate the student/teacher, parent/child relationship when she was with them. She was everything his own mother wasn't. Of course, it helped that Jon was everything his father wasn't.

Stepmother, he corrected himself as he thought of Virna. Virna had run away from him and his dad several times. His father usually was able to bring her back until she ran off and took their home with her. That led to Chet taking off to find her, leaving him behind. After a year Virna returned and stayed at the motel on the other side of the highway from them. Cory was the one who went to her and asked her to return. She refused to come back until Chet proved he had changed. Eventually, Virna returned home. But there was no peace. There was rarely ever any peace. She pressured his dad to get a job and pay the bills so that they could become a real family. Everything had to be on her terms and done in the way she wanted, or she wasn't happy, it seemed to Shawn.

His father was no prize and certainly not the man with whom happily ever after could ever be achieved. That he understood and he did not blame her for being unhappy with him. What he never understood was why he was also punished for his father's sins. He was just a kid. Finally, she left them for good. Both of them. He didn't hear from her again until after his father died when she decided that was the best time to let him know that she was not his real mother.

Who does that? You raise a kid their whole life then dump them when you leave their dad and later tell them they weren't yours to begin with?

Her abandonment and her reasons for it still stung and weighed heavily on him. Audrey, who was barely five and half years older than he was, was naturally more of a mother than Virna ever was. Virna was chased by her own demons, and he had accepted that he would not get closure from her. Audrey, who had her share of darkness to deal with, still chose him. She could have just chosen Jon, but she didn't. She always considered them a package deal. Now, with a husband and soon to be five kids, there was no reason for her to still treat him the way she did. It would be enough for him if she treated him like she did Cory. As a good friend, a close friend, her kids' uncle, but she didn't. She still treated him like he was hers. He was still a part of the package. And he loved her for it.

Shawn walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Mama."

She grinned and stopped her folding for a moment. "Hey, love. How are you?"

"I'm good. Let me help."

She started to protest but he gently pushed her to the side and took over folding the towels. Audrey started separating the kids' clothes.

The amount of clothing to be put away was overwhelming. Shawn quietly folded the towels for a while, enjoying her company. Finally, he spoke up, "Aud, how are you and Jon doin'?"

"We're good." She gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean exactly?"

Shawn shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant. "I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm not used to so many people under one roof, but it just seems crazy all the time. Like do you guys ever have the chance to do anythin' without the kids?"

"We used to," she replied, putting an empty laundry basket on the coffee table. "But things have changed a lot since Jon became superintendent."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"I don't like it, if that's what you mean. But things like this go in cycles; every time Jon's promoted and has to take on new responsibilities this happens. Then we all adjust, and things get better. The transition is just lasting longer this time. Being the superintendent of New York public schools is not a glamorous nor desirable job."

"It's not?"

"No. We've been through so many superintendents over the years. Most quit before their contracts are up because the job is so stressful. It's pretty much all consuming."

"How's Jon handlin' it?"

"Okay." she paused, pressing her lips into a thin, worried line. "I worry about his health. He doesn't take care of himself like he used to. He comes home drained and weary, but still puts everything he can into the kids. He is dead last on his list of priorities. Actually, I'm not sure he is on his list of priorities."

"Why did he want the job if it's so bad?"

"He didn't seek it out. He was appointed to the position by the school board. Jon was a very successful principal. He took one of the worst high schools for academic achievement and turned it around. I would argue that he was a more successful principal than Mr. Feeny." She gave Shawn a wink and a grin. "But then I may be a little biased."

Shawn smiled.

"He accepted the position because the previous superintendent just walked out. He gave no warning. Nothing. Left a letter of resignation on his desk and never came back. Jon didn't think it was fair to leave the students and their parents hanging so he took the job. He thought being at the top of the chain of command would enable him to make a bigger difference in multiple schools but so far, he's just been knee deep in bureaucratic red tape and juggling a bunch of special interest groups all demanding money for their program. I know the district badly needs him. But we need him here, too. This job does not allow for both."

When Audrey mentioned Mr. Feeny, Shawn thought it was interesting that superintendent was one position his teacher never held. Now he wondered if that was because of what the job entailed.

"You don't like his job," he prompted, hoping she would talk more.

"I don't like that he signed a five-year contract. I wish had only been two."

"Does he like the job?"

"That's the thing, Shawn," she said with a sigh. "He says he does. But I know him. He wants to be back in the classroom. Or at least back in the building as principal again. You should see him when he visits a school. He always ends up in a classroom, sitting on a desk, talking to the kids. Before long he's teaching. He doesn't enjoy dealing with grown adults who expect their fragile feelings to be coddled. But he won't leave before his contract is up. He won't be like those before him. And you know as well as I do how stubborn he is."

"Yeah, I do." There was something that Shawn wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to upset her. Still, his mind wouldn't rest until he asked. "Do you know his secretary?"

"You mean personally?" She added two more of Grayson's shirts to his basket. Shawn took it and handed her an empty one.

"I guess."

"No, I don't. Apparently, she used to teach at John Adams High."

"Yeah," Shawn said slowly. "What do you think about her?"

"Honestly," she laughed and shook her head. "I don't think about her. Why?"

He shrugged. "I mean, doesn't it bother you that one of Jon's ex-girlfriends is workin' for him?"

"No, it doesn't. Are you going to ask if I remember her?"

"How'd you know?"

She smiled affectionately at him. "Because you and Jon are so much alike, and he's asked me that a hundred times since she was hired last summer."

"You really don't remember her?"

"Not really. Shawn, the only teachers I had any contact with other than Jon and Mr. Feeny were Eli and Andrea Nguyen. That's it. I only really spoke to Katherine like once, maybe twice, in all the time I was at John Adams. Jon did a good job of keeping us separated. And yes, I remember the incident at the Library. But if you had asked me before last summer what her name was, I couldn't have told you."

"Doesn't it bother you a little that she's there?" Shawn couldn't believe that he was more bothered by this than she was.

"No, Shawn. It doesn't."

He couldn't let it go that easily. "Why would a divorcee want to work for an ex-boyfriend?"

"I don't know. Curiosity?"

"No," he said confidently, "If it were me and I found out Angela was hirin' an assistant I can tell you I would not be applyin' just because I was curious. If I was just curious, I would google her or find her on social media and find out what happened to her. I wouldn't go to the extreme of gettin' myself hired as her assistant unless I was hopin' for something else."

Audrey didn't correct him. She stayed focused on the clothes in front of her. "Shawn, you really shouldn't assume the worst of people," she chided him gently. "And anyway, Jon doesn't do social media, I do. So, unless she knew we were married, it'd be hard for her to find him."

"Have you been up to Jon's office to check her out?" Her hair was hanging down in front of her face, preventing him from reading her expression, so he couldn't tell if she was unbothered or not.

"I don't have time for that. Besides, I trust Jon. I'm not worried."

Even if she wasn't, Shawn was. Very worried.

"Audrey, why don't you and Jon take off this weekend even if it's just a day. I'll watch the kids."

"I would love that, Shawn, I really would."

"So do it."

She shook her head. "I would if I thought Jon would actually rest. That's what he needs so badly. But he won't. No matter what I say, he'll put pressure on himself to make me happy and won't listen to me when I tell him that what would make me happy would be if he'd chill out. I think breaks are actually more stressful for him than anything." At the preoccupied look on his face, she said. "But you're here now and that makes all the difference in the world, Shawn. It really does. You being here will help him more than anything."

Shawn sighed, discouraged. "I wish you guys would think about it."

"I'll talk to him." She saw the deep worry creasing his features. Taking his face between her palms, she held his gaze steady. "Everything will work out. I promise you, Shawn. We will be good."

Audrey was worried, but she couldn't tell him that. He had enough on his mind. And everything was good for them until Jon became the superintendent. But this also happened when he became an assistant principal, then principal. After an adjustment period, things went back to normal. Just like she told Shawn. Although those periods had not lasted as long as this one, they also didn't have the added stress of another baby.

Still, they would be fine. Their marriage would be fine. Jon would be fine.

Fine. Fine. FINE. That stupid word again!

Shawn was worried that Audrey was ignoring a clear and present threat to her marriage because she had so much to do at home. Miss Tompkins could easily come between her and Jon without either of them realizing it until it was too late. He could not let that happen.

"Come on, Shawn," Audrey said a little too cheerfully. "There's seven more loads of laundry to do!"

That afternoon, Shawn walked down the hallway of the district office towards Jon's office. He was early, but Jon told him to come by whenever he was able to; Julia was with him, and they could keep each other occupied while he finished his day. Shawn rounded the corner and unexpectedly came face to face with a former teacher of his sitting at a desk just outside of Jon's office. Although Ms. Tompkins had been weighing heavily on his mind, it had not occurred to him that he might have to actually deal with her at some point. He checked up on his gait and stopped, wondering if there was some way to avoid her. If he'd remembered that she was stationed outside of Jon's office, he could have timed his arrival for when she was distracted or not there, but he hadn't remembered and was already spotted.

"Shawn?" Ms. Tompkins seemed genuinely surprised yet delighted to see him. "Shawn Hunter?"

"Hey," he responded with significantly less enthusiasm. He took a noticeable step backwards when she got up from her desk and rushed over to him. From the look on her face, he was afraid that she might try to hug him. She was older, of course, but still trim with tan skin, bright blond hair, and crisp blue eyes. Her appearance was a disappointment to Shawn, who was hoping that she might look frumpy or otherwise unattractive. 

"Wow," she exclaimed with a bright smile as she looked him over. "You've really grown up! It seems like you should still be that little boy I had in my class one year."

Shawn bristled at this. I was not, he thought indignantly, a little boy. I was fifteen.

She did not say this to slight him, of course, and he had heard both Jon and Audrey make similar comments about former students they hadn't seen in years. Yet still the comment struck a sour chord with him. He felt a defensive edge creep up over his shoulders and his whole body stiffened.

"It's so good to see you! How have you been?"

"Great," Shawn replied in a flat tone. He didn't want to talk to her; he wanted to see Jon.

They now had the attention of everyone in the outer office, all of them former teachers who knew the thrill of running into a former student, especially an accomplished one. They watched the poignant scene with fondness, no doubt recalling their own encounters and the pride they had in those former pupils.

Shawn had never been a teacher, so he did not share their sentiments nor was Ms. Tompkins anyone special to him in that regard. Had it not been for her connection to Jon, she would have simply been one more teacher who couldn't wait to get him out of her class. One he would not have likely remembered. However, the intense heat of the gaze of the people in the room was formidable and he felt pressured into formalities he had no interest engaging in.

"You?" he asked without spirit.

"Oh, wonderful."

She asked so many questions and Shawn tried to answer but most of the time all he heard was "blah, blah, blah".

"Where are you off to next?" She asked him cheerily. If she noticed his attitude at all, she was ignoring it.

"I'm not. I'm stayin' with my folks for a while and doin' some freelance work."

"I didn't know your parents lived here. When did they move to New York?"

Shawn doubted she remembered anything at all about his parents. "'98," he said shortly.

"Wow. That long?" She seemed to take this in with interest. "Wouldn't that have been around the time you graduated?"

"The summer after." He watched her carefully, wondering how much she knew about Jon's past and if anything he said might catch her attention.

"Small world, huh?"

"I guess."

"How are your parents, Shawn?"

Shawn paused for a moment, carefully gauging his words. "They're good. Busy. My mom's gonna have her sixth kid in May."

"Oh. Wow. That's a lot of kids."

He went on, chattering with feigned geniality as though she was a favorite teacher, carefully watching her reaction to his words. "Yeah, she's got three boys and two girls, so we're all kinda hopin' for another girl to make things even. It's cool but a little weird. I mean there's like a seventeen-year gap between me and my sister, now there's gonna be a thirty-three-year gap between me and this one.

This caused Katherine to stop asking pleasantries. It was obvious she was trying to recall any details she could about his parents and was coming up blank.

Shawn stifled a smirk and asked innocently, "So when did you move here?"

"I moved after my divorce three years ago for a fresh start," she faltered in her response, her mind still on Shawn's mother. "I didn't want to go back to teaching full time so I thought working in a school office would be the next best thing. I got hired here as the superintendent's secretary." Forgetting his statements about his family, her eyes lit up in a way that said she had information that he may not know. "Shawn, do you know who the superintendent is?"

He regarded her warily as though he was being set up to be ambushed. Why would she assume he didn't? Why did she think he'd be walking into a school district's office to see the superintendent if he didn't know who the man was?

"Yeah, I do." This came out ruder than intended, but he offered no apology. His eyes darkened. "Jon's expectin' me."

"Oh, so you have kept in touch! That's wonderful." There was great affection in her voice and Shawn knew it wasn't for him. "Jon did so much for you."

Once again, her harmless comments were extremely irritating. Those harmless comments kept coming as she explained to her colleagues who Shawn was and his relationship with Jon. But they pricked Shawn as though they were laced with barbs; it annoyed him to no end that she dared to try to explain a relationship she knew nothing about.

"Look, I need to get my sister to her figure skatin' lesson, and I don't have much time," he said as though he was very busy and did not have a moment to spare, which wasn't true. He'd already determined to take no less than six months off traveling for work to stay home with his family and get to know them.

The look in Katherine's eyes told him the tidbits he was dropping about his family were beginning to sound familiar, and a ridiculous, puckish impulse arose within him. The feeling was unwarranted, but he chose to let it dictate his words. Those words were sharp and precise; chosen for maximum impact. "Is my dad in or not?"

Target hit: Katherine Tompkins was visibly shaken by his reference to her boss particularly considering what he had just said about his mother. Some in the room seemed surprised by this as well while others had the look of a light bulb going on. One man did not react at all to this revelation.

Good, he thought with triumph. I hope she thinks Jon chose to sign the papers for me instead of the ones she wanted him to sign back then. His attitude was now fully and unreasonably defiant. He didn't care; he embraced it.

An older man in his late sixties caught Shawn's eye and gave him a nod of recognition as he approached him. Do I know him? Shawn queried silently as he studied the man's graying hair and beard. The years of his experience were etched in his dark features along with a sternness that completely disappeared when he gave Shawn a smile.

"He's Jon's oldest," he informed Katherine and the others in the room. The older man knew all about Jon and Shawn's history. To Shawn he said, "Your dad was my assistant principal back before I retired and handed the reigns over to him. I've heard a lot about you over the years. It's nice to finally meet you, son."

Shawn warmly accepted the man's extended hand with a beaming smile as he recognized who the man was from talking to Jon. "Mr. Appleton," he nodded, returning the recognition. "He speaks very highly of you, sir."

Mr. Appleton smiled in appreciation. "You're quite the vlogger, Shawn; the family and I always look forward to your new posts." As he passed by Shawn, he clapped a hand on his shoulder. "We'll have to get together sometime with your dad and my son. Maybe for a round of golf."

"Sounds good, sir," Shawn grinned, even though he had never golfed, nor did he really care to learn. When he turned back to the flummoxed Ms. Tompkins who was still blocking his path, there was a smirk on his face that he didn't bother to hide this time.

"Jon's your father?" she asked, slowly.

"Yeah, he is," he said in a manner that dared her to challenge him.

"Oh. That's great for you, Shawn."

That's great for you, Shawn? That's all? He harrumphed in his mind. Not great for Jon? Or not great for you? I guess I always mess up your plans for Jon, don't I? Well, I'm back and I'm stayin'.

That last part was very unfair, and he knew it, but defiant arrogance swelled within him. There was absolutely nothing his former teacher had said or done that would indicate she had any plans for Jon beyond professionalism. But there was something deep within Shawn that pushed him to issue her that unspoken warning not to pursue her boss; not only was Jon married, but he had kids who wouldn't tolerate anyone's nonsense in this area and that included him.

Especially him.

The truth was that Shawn still harbored a deep resentment for the woman in front of him over what happened long ago. He clearly remembered every time she walked out on Jon because of him. On the night a police officer brought him to Jon's place, she walked out. When Jon chose to give him a place to live, she dumped Jon in front of him. Her actions spoke louder than words ever could. She wanted Jon, but she did not want him.

Jon told him that it wasn't his fault that the breakup happened; it was going to happen anyway. But Shawn knew better. The one thing kids always know is when an adult doesn't want them around. No matter how well adults think they hide their dislike, kids can always sense it. Twice she walked out on Jon because of him. Even though she came back a few weeks later and resumed her relationship with Jon for a while, Shawn knew he was a bother to her, and she didn't really want to share Jon's attention with a kid that wasn't hers. But her biggest sin, the one that Shawn couldn't forgive, was her betrayal of Audrey that shattered the family and peace he so desperately needed as a child. The burn of guilt of his unfairness towards Katherine flared. He knew he had this to let go and it be a by-gone. But until he was certain that her intent toward Jon and his marriage was benign, he refused to do that.

Shawn brushed by her and entered Jon's office without her approval. When Jon looked up from his paperwork and saw the smug look on his face, he shot Shawn a disgruntled look of disapproval.

"How rude were you to her?" he asked with an arched eyebrow and a frown. His tone indicated that Shawn was not the first person he had gone through this with.

Shawn shrugged with no remorse. "Pretty rude, I guess." He put his hands in pockets and stood in front Jon without any humility. "She wouldn't let me in to see you. She just kept talkin'."

He saw Julia out of the corner of his eye; she was looking at him with an admiring smirk. He winked at her to let her know she had an ally in him should they need to join forces to protect their family. The look was not missed by Jon who gave a frustrated sigh.

"You know, when I said I wanted you two to find a shared interest, this is not what I meant."

"You should have been more specific," Shawn quipped light-heartedly.

Julia clapped a hand over her mouth so her father wouldn't hear her snicker. Shawn grinned at her.

With a roll of his eyes, Jon returned his attention to a pile of paperwork in front of him. "Give me a few minutes to wrap this up and then we'll get outta here."

While Julia helped her father, Shawn took the opportunity to look around Jon's office. For the most part, the room was stark and cold. There was a bare look to the furniture and its arrangement as well the colors. It was though the designer was trying to pull off Scandinavian minimalism but just gave up halfway through the job. He noticed this trend throughout the building. The only personality in the room was around Jon's desk. Instead of books on the bookcase behind his desk, there was a variety of sports memorabilia and pictures on the shelves. There were signed pucks and photos from Rangers of the past- "King Henry" Lundqvist, Mark Messier, and Wayne Gretzky to name a few. The photos, of course, were family photos. There were individual pictures of all the kids, some studio portraits, some from various sports outings. One of the most interesting ones was a group photo from a few Christmases ago. Everyone was in it: all the Matthews, Turners, a couple he recognized as Audrey's aunt and uncle and their kids, and the Feenys.

Hey, it's Dean Bolander! I haven't seen her since college! Oh, wait it's not Dean Bolander. Shawn wrinkled his nose as he looked at the photograph. It's Mrs. Feeny. Everyone he knew and loved was in that photo. The only two missing were himself and Bella.

On Jon's desk were three additional pictures. On the right-hand side of his desk near the computer was a book like a silver picture frame. On one side was a picture of all the kids, including Bella. On the other side was a picture of Jon and Audrey. Shawn couldn't place when the picture had been taken, possibly right before or right after they got married as Audrey was wearing an engagement ring. He made a note of the fact they didn't have wedding pictures, filing the information away to be used later. The picture on the left side of his desk surprised him. It looked like the other frame except that it was for a single picture. The photo was of him and Audrey. Shawn well remembered the day the picture was taken. Jon and Audrey had taken him to Dutch Wonderland, a well-known amusement park in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Cory didn't go with them this time; it was just the three of them.

Shawn picked the picture up and looked at it closely. Jon wasn't in the picture because he took it. He and Audrey were sitting outside of the entrance to Exploration Island. They had their arms wrapped around each other looking like the filler photo that came with picture frames bought at a store. Audrey was laughing and the grin he had took up his entire face. Shawn has never seen himself look so happy. Little did the trio know that the very next day Audrey would be sent back to New York after Mr. Feeny confronted Jon about what had been going on with her.

When Shawn looked up, he saw Jon watching him.

"This was Mother's Day, wasn't it?" he asked.

Jon nodded. "Yeah, it was. That's Audrey's favorite picture of you. Took me forever to convince her to let me get a copy made of it. She was afraid somethin' might happen to the original."

"Best day ever," Shawn smiled morosely. "You ever take the other kids?"

"No, we've never had the time, unfortunately."

The phone rang and Jon rolled his eyes when Katherine announced the caller. It was Yancy, the former principal of Cory's school. The man was still on him about the Harper Burgess incident.

"I have to take this, or he'll bug me all weekend," he told Shawn. To Julia, he said, "You know what to do."

"Give you half an hour, then get sick."

"Right but make it fifteen."

Julia took a seat in one of the chairs near her father's desk and pulled out her phone. She gave Shawn a wary look when he took the seat next to her.

"So," Shawn said in a hushed tone keeping his eyes on Jon. "What's the deal with Ms. Tompkins?"

Julia gave him a guarded look, considering what she should tell him. "I don't know," she replied in the same hushed tones he used. "Yet."

Shawn glanced at her. Yet. She knew something was up and he was appreciative of that.

"Do you like her?"

"Do you?"

"Not really."

"Why?"

"She didn't like me when I was your age."

"Why?"

"I messed up her relationship with your dad," he said.

This got Julia's attention. "What'd you do?"

"I was there."

Julia nodded empathically. "Same."

"She doesn't like you either, huh?"

"She wouldn't dare say anything if she didn't. I do know she doesn't like me bein' here after school."

"What is it about after school?"

"Daddy's here. Usually durin' the day Dad's out, meetin's, observations, press stuff, you know, borin' school stuff. But after school on most days, he's here on phone conferences, interviews, and finishin' up paperwork. So, if he's here and I'm around..."

"You're in the way."

"Yep."

"So do you like her?"

Julia shook her head. "No way."

"Why?"

"She's too friendly with Daddy for one thing," she dropped her voice lower when Jon glanced their way. "She's always tryin' to be right at his side when she doesn't need to be. She tries to go with him to these meetin's and stuff when he doesn't need her there. Like she'd be in the way if she went. And she is always in his office after school talkin' to him. Do you know she legit interrupted me when I was tryin' to tell my dad about this major issue with one of my teachers for somethin' dumb?"

Shawn shook his head in sympathy. Julia scooted closer to him. Knowing that Ms. Tompkins didn't like him made Julia like him a little more. Whether her dislike of the former teacher was warranted or not mattered little to her. There was really no one in her family whom she could voice her concerns to about Ms. Tompkins. Until now.

It worried her even more that Shawn was concerned about the secretary as well. It validated to her feelings.

"You know Daddy sometimes misses dinner. Well, a lot of times it's because meetin's run late and put Dad behind on things he has to do here. Depends on what my schedule is but sometimes I have to go home without him. He usually orders in so he can keep working. Maybe once a month, Mom will bring him somethin' from home, but she usually can't stay, unfortunately. But guess who also always manages to stay." Julia rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Doesn't she have kids to go home to?"

"Yeah, two boys. She keeps tryin' to set me up with one of them. Like, ew, no!"

Shawn frowned. "Give me your honest opinion: what do you think Ms. Tompkins is up to?"

"Honestly? I don't know yet. But I have this really bad feelin' when she's around."

Shawn considered what she said knowing full well that sometimes a kid's perspective is skewed but that they can also be very perceptive. He was Julia's age when he recognized that Jon was in love with Audrey and when he knew that Miss Tompkins didn't like him.

"So do I," he confessed.

"So, what do we do?"

"We wait and we watch."

Julia nodded. Shawn took the opportunity to solidify their tentative bond. "Team?" he held his hand out to her.

"Team," she agreed, taking his hand.

"Look, Jules, I know that Friday nights are your night with your dad, but he's really tired. Let me take you to practice and send him home early."

Julia didn't much like that idea. With Shawn home, she had even less time with her father, but she also knew Shawn was right. He did need to go home.

"Okay," she sighed unhappily. She looked at the time on her phone and jumped up. Going over to her father, she tapped him on the shoulder. Jon looked up at her and nodded.

"Daddy," she whined into the phone's receiver. "I don't feel so good."

"What's wrong?" he asked with what sounded like genuine concern.

"I think I'm gonna throw up!"

"What?!" Shawn could hear Yancy's outrage from where he sat. "She's sick again? One of them always gets sick when I call."

"Yeah," Jon said dismissively, "I've got to go before there's a mess to clean up."

Yancy was still complaining when he hung up the phone.

Shawn stood up and clapped slowly at Julia's performance. "Bravo!"

The door to Jon's office opened much earlier than usual and Katherine Tompkins looked up expectantly. However, her boss only gave her a passing glance. He said goodnight to everyone in the office and wished them a good weekend. Katherine would have liked to have given him a more personal goodbye, but he was flanked on either side by Julia and Shawn who wore matching unfriendly expressions. They looked more like Jon's bodyguards than his children.

Chapter Text

Monday morning after dropping the boys off at school, Shawn accompanied Audrey on one of many weekly errands runs. Since coming home, he had spent most of his time with Audrey and almost none with Jon. It was a blessing in the sense that his relationship with her was growing stronger and he felt the greatest sense of belonging somewhere and to someone that he'd ever felt in his life.

Jon had no time available to really spend with anyone. Or at least not quality time.  He tried so hard to give every child the same amount of time when he was home that it often amounted to less than 10 minutes a day.

Shawn could almost swear that his former teacher set a timer so that he did not spend more or less time with one child over another. It was frustrating. He would much prefer seeing Jon for an hour once week to a few constantly interrupted minutes every night. The younger kids didn't seem to notice this problem. However, Julia did and briefly confided in him how much she hated it. She told him she had considered quitting skating to spend time with her dad until she realized that her skating lessons afforded her the only one-on-one time she got with him. This disheartened Shawn. He knew from experience what would eventually happen to his family if something didn't change.

It didn't help that the family schedule was getting worse. Practices, games, and competitions for Julia were consuming the after-school hours and, starting Tuesday, Jon was in for back-to-back meetings for the rest of the week as the budget proposal was coming out in the two weeks and every interest group possible demanded his attention. Shawn promised Julia and himself that he would ensure Jon and Audrey got away from everything but each other. Unfortunately, it seemed all forces were converging against him to ensure he failed his mission. And Jon himself was proving to be his biggest obstacle.

He sighed worriedly and tried to focus on helping Audrey. He'd try again to figure something out at home.

Bella was in an unusually foul mood, considering it wasn't nap time. Audrey thought she might be getting sick and had her scheduled for a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. The toddler's mood put her at odds with Shawn as he tried to care for her while Audrey dealt with other things. She did not want her brother, she wanted her father and since she couldn't have him, she refused to interact with anyone but her mother. It was heartbreaking watching the little girl drape herself over Audrey's shoulder while crying for Jon. It brought a dark gloomy cloud over Shawn.

As they headed across the parking lot towards the grocery store a booming, deep voice called out,

"Audrey!"

Audrey stopped abruptly and looked over her shoulder. She broke out into a grin at the sight of the person who called her name and waved.

"David!"

An older man in his 50s hurried across the asphalt lot to greet them. He was a tall, broad shouldered man with impeccable taste in clothing. His close-cropped hair was jet black graying slightly around his temples. A bit more gray speckled his goatee. The sun caught in deep blue sunglasses reflecting various hues of blue and purple onto his face. When he reached Audrey, he embraced her with a gentle hug. Bella did not react to him at all and continued to moan for her father.

"Oh, David, how are you?"

"I'm good," he grinned broadly. "How's the fam?"

"We are good," her smile intensified as she reached out for Shawn's arm. "We're all together finally. This is Shawn."

A delighted smile graced the older man's face, and he extended his hand towards Shawn.

"Welcome home, Shawn."

Shawn smiled. It was hard not to, even though he had no idea who the man was.

Audrey corrected this by way of introduction. "Shawn, this Dr. David Durran. He's a close family friend. He was also my and Jon's marriage counselor awhile back."

"Nice to meet you, sir," Shawn greeted him, noting that the counseling was "awhile back". He wondered exactly what that meant. Jon made it sound as though they'd only had counseling when they were first married. Is that she means?  Or was it more recent?

"You as well." David tipped his head slightly to the side. "How are you doing?"

"I'm pretty good," the younger man answered honestly. There was something about the man's presence that lent peace to the atmosphere around him. "So you're a marriage counselor?"

"It's one of the counseling services I provide, yes. I'm more of a life and relationship coach these days."

"Ah." Shawn nodded. What came out of his mouth next surprised him. "Do you do individual counselin'?" He cringed. Why did he say that? It was like his mouth completely bypassed his brain. No doubt the doctor got a lot of questions like that once his profession was known and he certainly did not want to be the one asking those lame questions.

Dr. Durran smiled. If the question bothered him, he didn't show it. "Considering your family- I would for you."

"Do you offer a family discount?" he joked. It was going from bad to worse and Shawn wished his mouth would quit running on its own.

"I'll give you a 2-for-1 if you bring your dad in with you."

The men laughed, one with considerable embarrassment. Shawn wondered why Dr. Durran brought Jon up in that context. He was a family friend- did he know something was wrong? This thought added to Shawn's growing pile of problems. As he tried to pull himself away from the negative thinking, another thought occurred to him: everyone was referring to Jon as his dad or he was being introduced as Jon's oldest. That didn't bother him. That was what he always wanted.

But on the other side of that coin was Audrey and it bothered him that no one referred to him as her son or her oldest.

And he was both.

It had been the three of them almost since the beginning. It was, Shawn told himself, a trivial thing and he tried to shrug it off.

The doctor seemed to sense Shawn's anxiety. "I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind. I hope being home will let you explore your past and find the closure you need." The man smiled slightly at the surprised look on Shawn's face. He wasn't a mind reader, he and Jon had been texting on and off since Shawn came home, so he knew a little bit about what was going on. "But if you need me, ask your mom for my info. I'll be happy to talk."

If Shawn hadn't thought he was a mind reader before he most certainly entertained the idea now.

Audrey turned to Shawn, shifting Bella in arms. "Shawn, would you mind going back to the car and getting Bella's blanket. I think I left it in her car seat. She may need it inside."

"Oh sure," he agreed, relieved to have something to do. He fished the keys out of Audrey's purse and headed off to retrieve the missing blanket.

David turned to her with an inquisitive look. "You've got that baby bundle up pretty well. Does she really need a blanket?"

"No," Audrey smiled dolefully. "I just wanted to talk to you. And I don't want to worry Shawn."

"Is this about Jon?"

She sighed as she nodded suddenly looking weary. "Has he talked to you lately?"

"No," he said. His tone was neutral. "He's texted me a few times since Shawn came back. That's all. What's going on?"

"I don't know. He's really not talking to me. He's exhausted all the time. David, I'm scared this job is destroying his health. I feel like I'm losing him."

David mulled this over with deep concern. "How's he been since Shawn's been back?"

"There's been no difference. Shawn's been a huge help to me, but Jon's hardly seen him. He's hardly seen any of us. I don't know. Shawn keeps asking me to let him take the kids so Jon and I can spend some time together, but Jon just can't find the time."

"How long has Shawn been back?"

"A little over a week."

"When did he start asking to take the kids?"

"I don't know. Wednesday or Thursday last week."

The doctor raised his eyebrows in surprise. Knowing the Turners as he did, there must be a serious upset in their home life for someone so freshly back into fold to notice a problem so quickly.

"I really want him to come in to see you, but he won't do it. Not now anyway." She gave a shrug of resignation.

"Is he talking to anyone at all? Old friends? Colleagues?"

"He got together with some college friends a few weeks ago. But there's no one he talks to regularly that I know of."

"Is Jon still working through lunch?"

"I'm sure he is." Audrey rolled her eyes at this. "Works through dinner most of the time, too, if he doesn't come home. And he rarely does. David, he's lost so much weight in the last year."

The doctor rubbed his hand over his goatee, mulling over the best way to approach his friend. "Audrey, I think I'll stop by his office and take him out to lunch. I think seeing him first as a friend might be better than forcing him to see me in my office."

Audrey nodded looking greatly relieved. "Thank you. I so appreciate it."

David smiled, squeezed her arm affectionately bidding her farewell, and headed back to his car. He gave Shawn a wave as the younger man returned with his sister's blanket.

For the first time since 8 am, the district office was quiet. There were no people coming in and out, no phones constantly ringing. This was the time-of-day Katherine Tompkins always looked forward to, that hour and half lunch break of peace in the middle of the day. She tapped the end of her pen against the wood of the desk, wondering if today the day was, she would succeed in getting Jon away from work long enough to relax and eat something. It seemed to her that he lived on coffee and stress and nothing else. She pushed her chair back away from her desk and stretched.

Jonathan Turner.

It was strange how things had come full circle and they were working together again, albeit in a much different situation. Eight months ago, they were reunited by her desire to get back to working in a school setting after a ten-year break to be a stay-at-home mother. Katherine smiled as she recalled the day, she found out who the superintendent of New York Public Schools was. At first, the name seemed to be a coincidence. She had heard the stories about Superintendent Turner when he was still Principal Turner; although her boys attended a neighboring school district, the man was an extremely popular educator and frequently helped other districts in need. She never dreamed that he could be her Jonathan.

The Mr. Turner the faculty and parents went on about was a family man of five and married for seventeen years. There was no way he was the same man. Katherine always assumed that if Jon ever got married, and that was a very big if, it would be very late in life. And if he had kids, it would be one at the most with someone he wasn't with anymore. She imagined him to be highly successful in his career while still drifting from relationship to relationship.

She was hired before she met the superintendent as he was on vacation and would not return early for the interview. She would never forget walking into his office on her first day in late August to find the man she had once been in love with sitting on the superintendent's desk. He had changed very little: he was still very fit with brown eyes, just as sparkling and mischievous as always. His dark hair was cut short with very little gray in it. And he still looked so very good. Katherine never expected to see him again and when she did it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Jon seemed just as surprised to see her, although she couldn't tell if he was glad to see her or not. In fact, after almost a year, she still couldn't say. When he wasn't working, which almost never, he was incredibly guarded and kept their social interactions to a minimum. Katherine couldn't tell if this was personal or if it was simply the way he treated everyone during working hours. On the surface he was very social- Jon always had been- but from what she heard of his conversations with others, he talked a lot without saying much about himself. There was only a handful of times when she was able to get him to talk and he would relax if the conversation stayed on the topic of his family, anything else would shut him down. If she veered onto the wrong topic, got too personal, he would walk away from her and would not engage in conversation for the rest of the day.

Katherine looked over her list of things to do that didn't involve phone calls. She reordered a few things on the list so she could accomplish as much as possible before leaving for lunch. The more that was done, the more likely Jon would be open to going to lunch. Or at least she hoped he would be as his excuse for skipping lunch was always that there was so much to do. She clicked open the calendar app on her computer, pulled up Jon's schedule for the week, and printed it out for him. She knew he preferred to have it shared to his mobile app, but she would do that later. She needed an excuse to go to his office and pull him away from his desk for a while. As usual the app was stubborn and refused to stay on the week she wanted and skipped merrily ahead to May. Katherine frowned at the screen. Jon wanted all of his end-of-the-year must-dos scheduled concretely ahead of time for the first two weeks of May, nothing after and nothing that didn't absolutely have to be done. At first, he wasn't forthcoming with why this was necessary, but as more invites from various groups wanting his attention to discuss the following school year came in, Jon told her to let them know he was taking all his personal days in May to be home when Audrey was due with the new baby.

Audrey Andrews.

Learning that Jon was married to Audrey bothered Katherine more than she cared to admit. The time during which she and Jon dated was a particularly difficult time in her life that encompassed much more than her romantic relationship with him. Back then she was very insecure, and those insecurities caused her to react in ways that were less than gracious. Through most of her life, she had to fight for position and fight for attention. As ambitious as she was, there was always a part of her that simply wanted to be a wife and mother. By the time she was thirty she had made more bad choices in men and had her heart broken more times than she could count. At thirty, she began to panic about ever fulfilling her dreams of marriage and family and her desperation only set her up for more heartache. That was how she entered her relationship with Jonathan, fighting for position and attention. He was a good man, the first genuinely good man she'd ever dated, and she just couldn't lose him. Her desperation blinded her to much of what was going on around her. Katherine had no idea back then that Jon was so heavily invested in Audrey. She thought that it was only Shawn that he was pouring his time into. After all the years that had passed, thinking back to that time in her life brought a hot flush of deep embarrassment to her cheeks.

0o0o

It was after 11 pm and there was no sign of Jon. Something was wrong. Katherine paced the lobby of the Library anxiously. Eli and the Matthews boy had been running interference all evening with fishy tales of where Jon was and what he was doing every time she asked about him. Every time she called his room, Cory answered with some inane story; there was a spider in the girls' room, Trini accidentally started a fire, Shawn was drowning in the bathtub. Eventually, Frankie Stacchino let it slip that Mr. Turner was out on the town. He had started to say more when both Eli and Cory jumped on him. Jealousy, worry, and fear engulfed her, and her mind conjured up a thousand things her on again-off again boyfriend could be doing without her and none of them were good. Yet she could do nothing about it as the boys holed up in their room with Jon's traitorous best friend and would not speak to her anymore. All she could do was wait.

It started to rain a little after 10:30. By 10:45 it was pouring. At 11:15, Jon finally sauntered through the doors, rain soaked and laughing without a care in the world. Her heart raced and fear of who he was with gripped her. It stunned her to see Shawn Hunter at his side, just as wet, and telling some ridiculous story to his teacher. Katherine's mouth fell open. She didn't know what to think. Jon left her behind to hang out with his student? An intense covetous pain stabbed her heart. Why? Why hadn't he asked her to go with them? It was like Jon and Shawn were a part of some secret club that she was banned from joining. It had been this way ever since Jon offered to take the boy in while his father traipsed across the country for some reason she couldn't remember. Jon always chose Shawn over her, although she and Jon had been together before Shawn entered the picture. Seeing them together without any care as to what she had been through for the last several hours and intentionally having Eli and Cory keep her in the dark infuriated her. By the time they noticed her, Katherine was shaking with indignation.

Shawn saw her first and grabbed Jon's sleeve abruptly, forcing him to come to a halt. He gave the teen a puzzled look, then followed his gaze to see what the problem was. Jon paled considerably when he saw the look on Katherine's face. It never occurred to him that he might have to deal with her. He had not planned for this.

"Where have you been?" she snapped angrily. It was difficult for her to keep a lid on her emotions but knowing how quickly he would shut down at an emotional outburst, she tried to keep her voice steady.

But her tone and the reprimand in it immediately set him against her.  He bristled visibly. "Out," he said shortly.

She watched suspiciously as Shawn positioned himself securely at Jon's side, arms folded, glowering at her. She ignored the boy and his dirty look and pushed on, "Out where?"

Jon gritted his teeth in vexation and swallowed the sarcastic one-liner that threatened to slip out, reminding himself they were in a hotel lobby, and it was late.

"Just out." An explanation normally would have appeased her, but he knew the mood she was in well and no explanation would avoid the scene that was on the horizon. But there was a defiance creeping into him that did not want to explain anything to anyone.

"You're a chaperon, Jon, on a school trip. You had no business being out." She wasn't sure why she chose to scold him like a child, but she did, and it was the wrong thing to do.

If there was one thing Jonathan Turner hated it was being spoken to like a child. As she stood there with all the righteous irritation of a mother who had caught her child sneaking back in from an unapproved night out, arms crossed and lips pressed into a thin line, Jon couldn't take it anymore. She was not his mother. "Excuse me?" His voice was dangerously low.

"You have students to supervise." His attitude was crashing against hers causing her voice to rise with every statement. She was having trouble keeping her anger in check. He had no right to be angry with her.

"My students are just fine." Resentment was entwined in his words.

"Thanks to Eli."

"Yeah, thanks to Eli. He offered to take them so Shawn and I could do a couple things we wanted to do."

Katherine bit back on her response. Something was still wrong. Jon and Shawn were standing strangely in front of the door as if to block it. Why? To prevent her from going out? Or prevent someone from coming in?

She narrowed her eyes, giving Shawn a particularly distrustful glare. She had a feeling he was behind all of this. "What exactly where you two doing that I couldn't do, too?"

This elicited a snicker and eye roll from Shawn. Katherine's glare intensified. Ever since he started living with Jon her relationship had suffered. She wasn't sure that it wasn't intentional.

"We went out to dinner and to see a show." Jon snapped, even though he did not want to give her an explanation. If it had been possible for him to storm by her and go up to their room, he would have. Unfortunately, the third member of their group wasn't in yet and he was stuck.

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Katherine could feel that tearful lump in her throat and she did not want to give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Especially Shawn.

"We didn't want you to go with us. You kinda ruin things." This nasty little remark came from Shawn who regarded her with an arrogant smirk.

She wanted to scream at the little punk. She looked at Jon expecting him to reprimand the teen for the comment. He said nothing. He stood there with his arms folded tightly across his stomach glaring at the floor. Whenever it came to Shawn, Jon always let him do what he wanted. He got away with everything, including being disrespectful to her. She had enough of their behavior.

"Are you going to let him speak to me like that?!" she demanded. In childish frustration, she stomped her foot into the tiled floor.

Jon jerked his head up sharply with a look of what could only be described as disgust. In the backdrop of the storm outside, this could have been a trick of the interior lighting against the tempestuous exterior, but she didn't think so.

"Well!?"She could see his jaw muscles tighten.

He remained silent.

She couldn't stand the way he would shut down instead of talking things out. "Say something already!"

"Don't yell at him!" Shawn jumped in front of Jon with hot teenage fury. "All you do is whine and complain and yell. You're impossible to please. And we're gettin' sick of it!"

That brought Jon to life. "All right, Shawn," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder and pulling the teen back to his side. "Let me handle this."

Finally!

But Jon wasn't coming to her defense like she'd hoped. Instead, he was...comforting Shawn? Why did he need to be comforted? He had everything he wanted. She needed comfort, not him! Katherine struggled to name the emotion that was suppressing her breathing. Tears sprang up and began to cloud her vision. Jealousy. She was jealous of a fifteen-year-old boy.

After he had calmed Shawn down, Jon whispered to him to get Audrey up to the girls' room as quickly as possible. He turned to face Katherine and groaned internally. She was beginning to cry. He couldn't stand tears. He had no idea what to do when a woman cried. Based on his experience, the only correct response was to give into whatever the one crying wanted. He was trapped. Again.

"Kat," Jon began, cautiously approaching her like she was a stray cat that might try to scratch him if he got too close. "Kat, I-" He stopped. She was looking at him expectantly. Enhanced by tears she had the bluest eyes he'd ever seen, and they disarmed him fully. "C'mon, Kat. Don't cry."

"What do you expect me to do, Jonathan?" She had no strength left to hold back the emotions that rage within her. "You exclude me from so much of your life because of Shawn. You favor him over me."

"I do not favor him. But you know the situation with Shawn isn't going to change. If you can't accept that then..." his voice trailed off and he held his hand out before letting them drop to his sides.

She bit her lip and shook her head giving him an angry, hurt glare. More tears fell.

"I made a commitment to him, Kat," he said defensively.

"When are you going to make a commitment to me?" Instantly, regret flooded her, and she wished she could take those words back.

Jon stared at her in disbelief. "Are you kiddin' me? Are you seriously bringing up the marriage thing now?!"

And so the old familiar argument at maximum volume ensued yet again. Katherine never meant to start this with him; she never did. She so desperately wanted his reassurance that she was that important to him; that she was needed and wanted, and an engagement ring was the only way she could show others that she was that highly valued. In her over-eagerness, she pushed too far, too fast. Every single time. She couldn't help herself.

Over Jon's shoulder, she could see Shawn continually throwing sharp glares at her while talking to someone.

Who is he talking to?

Shawn turned back to the unseen person clearly upset. He jabbed an angry finger in her direction, then leaned out of Katherine's line of vision. Jon stopped talking and turned partially away from her. That was when she saw who Shawn was with- Audrey, the student teacher.

Where did she come from?

They had been loud in their arguing, but had it been so loud as to bring someone from their group down? Whatever the case, Audrey was there and what she saw reignited her anger. Audrey was comforting Shawn.

Why?! Why did everyone side with him? Why am I the bad guy here?

Katherine was done. She was done with all of them. Giving the chair at the table closest to her a shove so violent it knocked the vase of flowers off it, she stormed past the bewildered hotel night crew up to her room. The vase made a satisfying crash as it shattered on the floor.

o0o0o

Katherine shrugged her shoulders hard as though trying to shake off the unpleasant memory. In retrospect, she made several mistakes when it came to Shawn; the biggest of which was seeing him as competition rather than an ally. Had she viewed him as Jon's son or nephew or even kid brother rather than an unwanted visitor hanging around and had she taken a motherly approach to him things may very well have turned out in her favor. Or that's what she told herself in the months that followed.

She had not known how much time Audrey was spending with the two of them. Shawn, of course, talked non-stop about the young student teacher when she was around, but Katherine wrongly assumed it was to irk her and that he really had a crush on the girl. A month after the incident on the NYC trip, she and Jon started seeing each other again, this time non-exclusively. Jon was much more relaxed, and she tried very hard not to put any pressure on him. For about month things were going very well. This time around Shawn was trying not so subtly to be the wedge between them and he often succeeded by getting Jon to cancel dates with her. She tried so extremely hard to ignore Shawn but eventually her insecurity got the best of her. Then there was the night Jon stood her up. She went over to his apartment and let herself in with the key she still had. She waited nearly three hours before he and Shawn showed up. Upon their return, she understood why Jon did not want to date exclusively. He and Shawn walked in, both with their arms around Audrey. The trio stood in the doorway with a shared looks of surprise and guilt. They were also the picture of a family. It was a deeply embarrassing moment for her, made worse by Shawn's smug grin and his saccharine "Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight, Dad" to Audrey and Jon.

Katherine always felt stupid for not seeing this coming. She had a bad feeling about the student teacher who had captured Jon's attention from the start, but she tried so hard to ignore it. Deep down, she supposed she always knew she could not compete with the younger woman. Katherine was thirty-three and Audrey was barely out of her teens. Of course, Jon chose the young one. He was a man and that's what men did. It was incredibly disappointing to find out that Jon was no different than the rest. She thought he was. She hoped he was. But he wasn't. It was a tale as old as time and it left Katherine with a broken heart once again instead of a happy ending. She left the apartment, humiliated, and Jon let her go.

She let out a heavy sigh as she picked up the schedule from the printer across the room.

Katherine honestly believed back then that Jon would have his fun with Audrey then one of them would get bored and Jon would come back to her. It didn't happen that way, of course. She wasn't so much surprised that the two married as she was that they were still married. And five kids? That stung as well. Jonathan was the only man she had really wanted to have children with. Her ex-husband proved to be a very Jekyll and Hyde personality, mostly Hyde. The only good thing that came of their marriage was her two beautiful boys. She wanted more children. She could have had more children. But her ex refused and sometimes cruelly so. He did not, however, have any issue getting his mistress pregnant. And now that she was free of him after years of legal entanglement involving the boys, her dream of more children was over. At her age, it was not possible outside of adoption. The fact that Audrey was pregnant with number six only served to remind Katherine of the gulf between them.

And then there was Shawn.

If Jon being married to his student teacher all these years was a surprise, Shawn Hunter walking into the district office demanding to see his "dad" was a shock. He seemed to have changed very little. He was still that cocky, know-it-all, leather jacket wearing kid although he had to be in his thirties by now. She wondered if Jon and Audrey didn't cater to his every whim like they did back then. Now that she knew Jon had adopted Shawn after all, it certainly explained the attitude Jon's oldest daughter had towards her. Julia's attitude was an exact copy of Shawn's back then. She was clearly following her brother's bad example. Katherine shook her head trying to rid herself of these thoughts. The lunch hour was growing shorter by the moment, and it would take her most of that time to convince Jon to take a break. She announced herself with a brief knock on his door before she went it.

Jon was attempting to end a conversation on the phone, making a series of sarcastic faces as he did so. Finally, he dropped the receiver into the cradle and held his head between his hands. It the past five months Jon's appearance and health had declined rapidly and it worried Katherine. She often wondered why his wife wasn't more concerned about him and why she wasn't trying to do something about it.

"Jon?"

"It's Mr. Turner in the office," he reminded her as he lifted his head and folded his arm across the desk. He looked weary.

"No one else is in the office."

"What is it?"

"I brought your schedule for the week." She laid the paper in front of him.

He frowned and pushed it away. "I need this on my phone. Why didn't you just upload it to my calendar?"

"I thought you'd like a hard copy." She could see he was in a mood, and this was not a mood she had been able to successfully overcome yet.

"I don't need a hard copy. I need this on my phone."

"Okay, I'll get it done." She knew his irritation wasn't really over the calendar. There was something else bothering him, but getting it out of him was impossible, so she didn't bother to pursue the matter right at that moment.

"Make sure to send Audrey a copy."

"Right." She refrained from reacting to the name. "Jon?"

"What?" For the first time since she walked into his office, he actually looked at her.

"It's lunch. Why don't we go out and eat for once."

"I don't have time," he said waving her off.

"You need to make time." She watched him closely, careful not to push too hard. "You need a break."

He paused a moment, considering this. "No," he said firmly. "I have a phone conference with the PTA at Abigail Adams in 20 minutes. I still have to get this budget report finished. Order something in."

"It would do you good to get out of the office. Some fresh air and sun would make you feel better. You could get more done"

"That'd be great," he said, turning his chair back to his computer. "If the budget would take care of itself. Since it won't, order in."

Katherine frowned and she wanted to argue, but the look on his face warned her against it. Instead, she acquiesced. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," he said, already buried in paperwork. "I'll get something later."

"Jon."

He didn't hear her; she'd already lost him to the budget report. Katherine sighed and watched him for a bit as he unhappily tried to resolve all the issues spread out on his desk to the satisfaction to everyone in the school district, which was an utterly impossible task. Something had to change here, she just wasn't sure how to go about it. But she was determined that one way or another she was going to make this office an oasis for him away from his problems at home. She couldn't fix the work issue, though, but she did hope she could get him to let her lighten his load.

She started to close the door behind her when she heard him call to her.

"Kat?"

Her heart skipped a beat, then started to race. Hopeful that he had changed his mind about lunch and would at least let her order him something, she stepped back into his office with great expectation. She was immediately let down.

"Make sure my wife gets my schedule this time."

He never even looked up at her.

Late in the afternoon a high shrill screech startled Shawn awake and nearly off his bed. This was particularly bad as he had taken up residence on the top bunk. It took him several moments to realize it was his phone screaming at him in an unfamiliar ringtone.

Jamie. The little boy had been playing with his phone earlier and apparently had changed the ringtone. After Shawn was sure he wasn't having a heart attack, he carefully slid off the bed and grabbed the insistent mobile device off his desk.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Hunter?"

"Yes?" he ventured a bit uncertainly. Only Mr. Feeny ever called him by that name and the feminine voice on the line was mostly certain not that of his former teacher.

"This is Sylvia with NYC Lifestyle blog."

"Oh yeah, right," Shawn was still shaky after his near fall. Quickly, he composed himself and focused. Hello."

"Is now a good time to talk?"

"Yes, definitely." Shawn ran a hand through his hair and quietly let out a breath. He had been hoping to hear back from NYCL. A year ago, they contacted him about working for them, but at the time he did not want anything that tied him down to one place. That feeling, of course, had changed in the last two weeks.

"We were so pleased that you contacted us about doing some freelance work for us!" Sylvia chirped cheerfully. It sounded like she was reading from a script. "Would you be available this week to meet about the specifics?"

"Yeah, I've got some time tomorrow after ten, if that works." After a few tedious questions were answered, Shawn hung up with an appointment for his first stationary photography gig. No more traveling. He'd be tied to the City for quite some time. It was going to be a vastly different experience for him.

There was no point in going back to sleep. The boys would be home soon and would bring with them a flood of things to do. So Shawn turned his attention to his own "to-do" list to see what he could get done. There were three major things on his list and resolving the issue of what he was going to for work was the easiest one to take care of. The other two were significantly harder.

Number 2- Text Katy

It shouldn't have been that big of a deal to send a simple text, but if there was one thing that Shawn excelled at it was make the simple difficult and often convoluted. He knew he needed to contact her as it had been a few weeks since their first date and over a week since he'd seen Maya, but there was just something that stood in his way of doing this. And that something was him. He didn't want to. This was simply something he did not want to deal with.

"I hope being home will let you explore your past and find the closure you need."

Shawn squirmed and thought back to his awkward encounter with Dr. Durran. He knew untangling himself from his past was going to be a difficult and unpleasant task. There was still so much he needed to deal with, things that he didn't want to look back at. Until these were resolved, contacting Katy seemed impossible. Was it wrong to be his age and want to go back to being a teenager? Was there something wrong in wanting to just stay home and hang around the family he didn't know he had?

Maybe there wasn't.

Then maybe there was, and Shawn was being immature and irresponsible. Maybe he would lose Katy and Maya if he chose to stay with his family. Did it bother him that they may not wait? Would Maya see him in the same light as she did her father? Would she end up hating him? Should he stay for her? Even if he didn't end up with Katy? Would Katy let him? What if she didn't?

There were too many questions and no way to get answers without talking to Katy. These questions screamed at him demanding to be answered. He didn't know where to begin to make them stop tormenting him. It had only been two weeks since he made it back home. He wondered if this would be something that time home could remedy on its own and or if it was something he was going to be forced to seek outside help with? Jon's words of being whole and healed before entering a relationship reverberated in his ears. He scrunched up his nose as though catching the scent of something awful. He would not deal with this now. He had a far more pressing issue to deal with.

Number 3- Get Jon to take time with Audrey.

Although Shawn had no answer to the question of how to accomplish this, correcting this problem seemed to be more within his reach. This problem he wanted to deal with. This problem he wanted to solve. Unfortunately, he was struggling with a plausible way to convince Jon to take time away from a soul-draining job. He had Jon's schedule, he had Audrey's schedule, and he had the kids' schedule. He saw several places where Jon could take some time to be with his wife without disrupting the schedules very much, but the crux of the problem was Jon himself- he refused to take time off. His excuse was that there was simply too much to do. Because unexpected issues would arise at any time if he got behind on anything he would never get caught up. Or so he claimed. Shawn was beginning to understand Audrey's loathing of the superintendent position; he was beginning to hate it, too.

Shawn went over the ideas he came up with to get his "parents" together. It was a shame they were all outrageous. There were a few that he would have certainly tried to pull off as a kid. However, at thirty-three he knew better.

Maybe, he considered, Jules and I could recreate their first date. Thoughtfully, he tried to remember what their first date was like, and it occurred to him they didn't have one. They weren't allowed to date while Audrey was Jon's student teacher. Everything they did together outside of school, he was with them. And being with them defeated the purpose of the whole scheme. Shawn sighed in frustration.

What about recreating when they first met? I wasn't there for that.

But that wouldn't work either. They first met at Audrey's orientation for student teaching. He could not fathom a way to get either one of them to agree to go back to Philly and John Adams High for any reason. Besides, the way they met was boring.

Can't recreate their wedding because they didn't have one.

Shawn needed to reevaluate his plans and the more he thought, the more he felt he needed to bring Cory into help. His creativity was stymied, and he needed another perspective that only his best friend could provide. Thankfully, time and adult responsibilities had not dampened their ability to conjure up wild ideas when they were together.

A wicked smirked tugged at the corner of Shawn's mouth.

Jon didn't stand a chance against them.

Chapter Text

For the first time in his life, Cory was standing in Shawn's bedroom in a house that wasn't on wheels. Well, gawking at Shawn's bedroom was more like it.

"Man," he exclaimed with awe-filled appreciation. "I've heard about this place for forever. This is nice."

Shawn grinned, please with his assessment. "Yeah, it's amazin'. Jon did a great job."

Cory rifled through the CD rack before going through the PS 1 games. "I would love to have had this room as a kid."

Shawn gave him a funny look. "Why? You had a great room."

"Yeah, but this room is so much better. Eric's touch isn't stamped into the walls."

Shawn chuckled, thinking back to the days when the brothers frequently fought over their shared room. "C'mon, Cor, we better get to work since Topanga won't let you spend the night."

"Don't remind me," the social studies teacher pouted, looking forlornly at the bottom bunk. That was his bed after all, and he hadn't even been able to use it yet.

"So," Shawn pulled out the computer chair as Cory took a seat on his section of the bunk. "We need to come up with a way to get Jon and Audrey together."

"Right. So I've been thinking about this," Cory rubbed his hands together. "You said they wouldn't go back to John Adams High but what if we brought a little bit of John Adams High to them?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Well, you know how we used to do all those films in high schools, the interviews, that stuff?"

"Yeah."

"I say we go to the old school with the big camera on VHS tape. We head back to the ol' stomping grounds and interview everyone we can find who knew Jon and Audrey. Get them to tell their memories about our favorite couple. Then we come back here and do the same thing. Add in a little bit of your fancy editing and we got ourselves a blockbuster. On their anniversary this year we get all those people together in one place and show the video to the guests of honor. Kind of like This is Your Life: the Jon and Audrey edition. Then we send 'em off on a second honeymoon. Oh, wait," Cory caught himself and frowned. "I guess it would be a first one technically."

"They didn't have a honeymoon either?" That had never occurred to Shawn until Cory mentioned it.

"Nope. They had nothin'."

Shawn frowned and bit his bottom lip in thought. "I like the idea. I really do. It'd make a great anniversary gift. There's just one problem."

"What?"

"It's only the end of February. Their anniversary is in July. If we wait that long, I'm not sure they're gonna make it."

Cory regarded him seriously, suddenly genuinely concerned. As busy as things had been lately, he and his family hadn't spent much time with the Turners as they normally would, but everything seemed all right as far as he could tell when they did see them. "Are things really that bad, Shawn?"

"Yeah, they are." Shawn got up from his chair and began to pace the room.

"You know," Cory mused, "After you've been married for a long time, you do tend to hit a few kind of low spots. It's pretty normal. Things go back up if you stay with it. Jon and Audrey have more experience with that than Topanga and I do. I'm sure they're gonna be okay."

"This is different, Cor," he responded, unsure of how to impress upon his friend the severity of the situation. "Audrey says it's the job that is causin' all these problems. And that it's gettin' worse instead of better. Jon's workin' himself to death. And I'm beginnin' to think that's not an exaggeration."

"Yeah, I know the job's been bad," Cory admitted. He had been holding back his own concerns for the past several months, not wanting to alarm those close to him if he was wrong. "Listen, I'm only tellin' you this- Topanga would kill me if she knew- but sometimes I create problems at school that force Jon to come down and deal with."

Shawn didn't know whether to laugh or be upset. "Seriously?"

Cory gripped his knees with hands. "Yeah, I mean, nothing major that would cause real problems for anyone. I just make a fuss knowing he won't ignore me."

"You are kinda of hard to ignore when you make a fuss."

"Why thank you," Cory smiled. "I try. Seriously, though. I know I can get him to come down and it gives him an excuse to take a break from the other stuff. Although, I didn't plan the Harper Burgess thing; Yancy handed me that one."

Shawn chuckled. "Thanks, man. I appreciate you lookin' out for him."

Cory shrugged off the gratitude. "It sort of works. I just can't keep his attention very long, a day and half at the very most. I've tried to get Riley to help me extend his stays but she's terrible at sticking to our story." He shook head in disappointment. "All Jon has to do is look at her and say, 'are you telling me the truth, Riley?' She shakes her head yes, but she says 'no, Uncle Jon,' and bursts into tears." He paused a moment then said, "You know, I was really surprised Jon even took the superintendent position. It just didn't seem like the kind of thing he'd be happy doing."

"He's not happy. He just won't admit. But that's not even the worst of it."

"There's more?"

"I don't think the reason Jon and Audrey are drifting apart has anything to do with normal reason people drift a part. I think they still love each other a lot. And I think it really is the job that's causing the problems. I'm worried that it'll be easy for someone to get between them without either of them noticing' until it's too late."

Cory's frown intensified. This was not a scenario that he ever wanted to consider as it hit too close to home. On the other hand, it was something that had crossed his mind in the wee hours of the morning when he couldn't sleep, and worry consumed him. "Are you talkin' about Ms. Tompkins?"

Shawn, whose pacing had him at the door with his back to his best friend, whipped around quickly. His face was panicked stricken. "You've noticed?"

Cory looked pained. "I've noticed that she's around a lot whenever I can get Jon down to the school. We always get together once a month for lunch during the school week. It has nothing to do with school. It's just the two of us, no wives, no kids, just us guys. But ever since she started working for the district, I haven't had one lunch alone with him. I don't invite her. Jon doesn't invite her, but she always has some reason to be there. When he came down this month, she wasn't with him. But not five minutes into lunch, she shows up and just sits down like she'd been invited and was just running late." At the look of anger on Shawn's face, he quickly added, "I mean, there could be a legitimate reason why she was there. Jon did have meetings to go to afterwards. I don't think they were the kind that he'd need her for. But I really don't know, Shawn. I could be way off base."

"No," his best friend responded strongly. "I don't think you are. Julia's said the same thing about Ms. Tompkins." He ran his hands anxiously through his hair and started pacing again. "We've got to come up with somethin' now, Cory. We can't afford to wait."

Cory grunted his agreement already lost in thought. After a while he said solemnly, "We're not 15 anymore, Shawn."

"I'm aware of that."

"We're not 16 anymore."

"Right."

"We're not 17 anymore. We are not 18 anymore."

Shawn stopped pacing and regarded him curiously.

"We are not 19. We are not 20. Nor are we 21. We are n-"

"Are you gonna go all the way to 33?"

Cory looked up at him and frowned. "I'm just trying to remind us that we are adults. We need to approach this situation as adults and come up with a mature, appropriate solution."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Cor, if I wanted a mature, appropriate solution I would have gone to your dad or Mr. Feeny."

"Oh," Cory lifted his hands up and slapped them down on his thighs. "Well then, I say we study the methods of two of the most successful people ever in parent matchmaking."

Shawn stared at the teacher in front of him. "Huh?"

Almost two hours later as the end credits to the VHS version of The Parent Trap rolled up, Shawn gave Cory a skeptical look. "Not gonna work. They didn't date, the way they met was borin', and there was no weddin'."

Cory didn't seem concerned. "We got three more movies to go through. Four if you count the '98 remake."

"The first movie and the remake have same premise."

"Good." The social studies teacher got up to change the video. "I'm not much of Lindsay Lohan fan anyway. Oh, I forgot about It Takes Two! I just love a classic Olsen movie."

Shawn rolled his eyes with a smile. "Where'd you get all of these old tapes anyway?"

"Blockbuster when it went out of business."

Due to time and Shawn's insistence, they watched the remaining movies on fast forward. The fourth Parent Trap movie was ditched in favor of It Takes Two. Shawn wasn't convinced that any of these movies could help them but Cory, stretched out on the lower bunk, was enjoying himself immensely.

"Ya know, Shawnie, I still think we can pull off the initial plot of the Parent Trap. It'll take a little work, but we can do it."

Shawn frowned. "They didn't date. At least not while Audrey was student teaching. There was only one time they were ever alone outside of school that I know of."

"When was that?"

"The night they dropped us off at your place after the Six Flags trip."

"Oh, right."

"Not a date though. Jon just drove her home. They talked at her place for a while. But that was it. It never happened again while I was with Jon, I don't think. She almost always left his place when I went to bed."

"Almost always?"

"Yeah, a couple of times she stayed after, and I stayed up listening to them. They'd talked a little bit then she'd go home. Nothing interesting, unfortunately."

"Okay," Cory said after a moment's consideration." Here's what I think we should do before deciding on anything. We gather intel. There has to be something we can use, some defining moment with these two. We just need more information. You go talk to Audrey and make sure there was no dating before they got married. And I'll talk to my parents."

"Why your parents?" Shawn gave him a quizzical look.

"We don't want Audrey or Jon to get suspicious by asking them too many questions. And my parents, well really Mom, helped them keep their marriage a secret until they moved to the City. She might remember some meaningful event that we could use."

Something his friend said struck him strangely. "Cory, when exactly did you find out that Jon and Audrey were married?"

Cory looked guiltily at the floor. "I dunno," he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck absently. "Sometime during our senior year of high school."

"Wait, you knew then?" Shawn was dumbfounded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I dunno!" he exclaimed defensively. Cory very much regretted not forcing him to talk to Jon back then. "You weren't really talking to Jon, and you snapped at me every time I mentioned him. Then came Jack and Angela. Graduation. Topanga asking me to marry her. College. I kinda forgot for a while. When we all made the decision to move, Mom and Dad reminded me that Jon and Audrey would be close by if we needed anything. By then I couldn't say anything to you about Jon without you blowing up."

Shawn winced. "Yeah, I guess was a pretty big jerk about it. Sorry about that."

"Eh," Cory waved the apology off, not wanting to remember all the lost time. "I say we find out as much as we can from them without making Audrey suspicious. The meet back up on Monday night and exchange info."

"Sounds good. Why Monday night?"

"Ladies book club or something," Cory shuddered. "I don't think the ladies like me all that much. I'd rather be here."

Shawn shook his head and smiled.

"Hey, Shawn."

"Yeah?"

"Tell Jon he owes me do-overs on lunch," Cory said as he reluctantly got up from his bed. "I want do-overs on all eight of 'em."

"Sure. Why?"

"Because with Ms. Tompkins there I always feel like a little kid sittin' at the adult table. I want my time with Jon back."

"Huh," Shawn snorted. "Take a number and get in line."

It was close to 11:45 when David Durran made it to the New York Schools district office on Wednesday afternoon. He had debated on whether to let Jon know he was dropping by but decided against it. He felt it was better to catch him off guard rather than give him time to come up with an excuse not to have lunch with him. The outer office was quieter than he expected it to be. Only Jon's secretary was still there.

David quietly approached her desk, regarding her curiously. This was the first time he had seen her. Unlike Jon's previous secretary, a proud grandmother, he knew little about this woman behind the desk. All he knew was that she and Jon had once dated. His first impression of her was positive overall. Although, she did seem a little too cheery about the tasks in front of her, reminding him of a 90's Katie Couric. Overly perky people always set him on edge.

She must really like her job, he thought. He couldn't say he'd ever seen a secretary so sunny before, not even his own. Of course, that could be because his assistant was his older sister.

"Oh, hello," Katherine Tompkins chirped brightly when she finally noticed him. "How may I help you?"

David returned her smile. "My name's David Durran. I'm here to see Jon."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No. I'm a friend. I'm here to take him to lunch."

That sunny expression dipped behind a cloud of irritation very briefly. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, suddenly very formal. "Mr. Turner has plans for lunch."

The doctor's expression remained neutral but the change in her tone was not missed. "I'd like to speak to him."

"No," she said firmly, the sun fading as she shook her head. "I'm sorry. He's busy right now and his lunch plans are firm."

Ever so slightly, David's eyes narrow. This one was quite different from Jon's previous secretary who was a spitfire with sharp wit. Mrs. Mahler may not have been as cheerful, but she was more likable, less guard dog-ish.

"I'd like to hear that from him." He had no problem challenging her assertions.

"I will not allow him to be bothered." There was something about the way this was said that raised the doctor's brow. He was just about to respond when Jon's office swung open, and the superintendent walked out.

When Jon saw David, his eyes lit up and he broke into a grin.

"David! Hey, man, how are you?"

"Great," David said taking his hand and pulling him into an embrace. "What about you?"

"All right. What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to catch up, but I'm told you already have lunch plans." The doctor gave the secretary a quick glance.

Jon turned to Katherine with a look of confusion. She ducked her head and wouldn't make eye contact with him. He turned back to his friend. "Nah, I don't have plans. I was just gonna grab some coffee."

"Good." David closely watched the interactions between the two. "Then let me take you out."

Jon shrugged. "Sounds good." He looked at Ms. Tompkins as though he was about to say something but thought better of it. Instead, he frowned at her as he grabbed his jacket and followed David.

The two men left the office chatting and laughing leaving an unhappy and embarrassed Katherine behind. Shortly after they were gone, the lunch she had ordered for herself and Jon was delivered. By then she no longer had much of an appetite.

"So," David leaned against the table after giving the waitress at the Little Owl Restaurant his order. "What's been going on with you?"

"Other than work?" Jon handed his menu to the waitress. "Nothing really. I mean the kids have all their stuff, but it's the same thing as always. Day in and day out."

"When's the baby due?"

Jon took a deep breath and exhaled. "Way too soon. End of May. But if this one is like the others, she'll be two weeks late."

"She?"

"We don't know actually," he said. "That's what the kids are hopin' for. They want an even split."

"Things going well with Shawn?" David carefully watched his friend. Although on the surface Jon appeared to be himself, he couldn't help but notice the distinct lack of enthusiasm when it came to talk of the baby.

"Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think so," the superintendent responded sheepishly. "He seems happy. I haven't been able to spend much time with him. Audrey sees him a lot though, He's been a huge help to her."

Between baby talk and not being able to say much about Shawn, David noted how uncomfortable Jon seemed, so he shifted the conversation slightly. "How is Audrey doing?"

Jon didn't look at him. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah, why?" He pushed back from the table. His expression was clouded.

"Just wonderin'. You guys still doing that monthly date night thing?"

"Nah, not since the summer," Jon's shoulders slumped slightly. "At least, I think that was the last time."

"Any plans to get away? Once that baby gets here things are going to be even crazier." David took a drink of his water, remaining casual despite Jon's growing defensiveness.

"Yeah, I know. No, there aren't any plans."

David let the conversation go for a moment as he watched his friend. Something was wrong, he could feel it. "You two doing all right?"

Jon looked up at him sharply, his demeanor shifted suddenly to highly guarded. "David, what are you really here for?"

"I'm here to catch up with an old friend whom I haven't seen in eight months and whose family is worried about him." David locked gazes with him. He wasn't about to let this go.

Jon expression changed again, this time to deep worry. "Has Audrey said somethin' to you?"

"She's expressed concern about your job and what it's doing to you. Why are you avoiding my question?"

"We're fine," he said, twisting the corner of the napkin in his hands.

"You're not fine if the kid who's only been back a couple of weeks has already noticed a problem."

Jon was stunned to hear this. "Shawn thinks we're havin' problems?"

David nodded. "He's been offering to take the kids so you and Audrey can spend time together, hasn't he?"

"Yeah."

"That's a problem."

Jon let his hands fall into his lap in defeat. He looked pale and drained. "I don't know what to do, David. I thought by now things at work would be better. You know, once I had a full year as superintendent and knew better what I was doin' I thought it'd be like it was my second year as principal. Everythin' in a routine. Busy but nothin' I couldn't handle. It's not like that at all."

"What's making it so difficult?"

"People. So many of the people I deal with don't care about the students; they care about themselves and what benefits them. I had no idea there were so many special interest groups in education. Too many are comprised of entitled adults that want someone to coddle their fragile egos and give them special perks. I hate that. Then there's the budget stuff. I hate that even more. You can't make people happy, everyone's upset with you. The workload never gets lighter. It seems that every time I get caught up, there's three times more to do as soon as I turn around."

David frowned. He didn't know a lot of the ends and outs of the teaching profession and its rankings beyond the interactions he'd had with his children's teachers. "Do you ever do anything student related? Like with the teachers?"

"Rarely. I get called into mediate stuff but that's about it. Well, there is Cory," Jon ran his hand over his mouth. "Don't get me started on all the times he's called me down to his school. He makes a big to do about absolutely nothing."

David cracked a smile at this, then grew serious. "Are you happy with this job?"

The superintendent gave a defeated shrug. "No. But what can I do?"

"Can't you go back to the classroom?"

"No, I signed a five-year contract."

"Superintendents stick around that long?" David was genuinely surprised. "News to me."

"Most just leave after a couple of years if they last that long." As he drummed his fingertips against the tabletop, the sunlight caught on his wedding band and danced off it. "No warning, no nothin'. They just leave. I totally understand why. I wish I could do it, but I can't."

"Somethings gotta give, Jon. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I was able to buy out seven years off retirement, but because I didn't get started in education until I was twenty-eight, I still have ten years to go after this year. My youngest will only be nine." Jon stared at the space in front of him. He looked depressed. Quietly, he mumbled, "I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to have another kid."

This comment caught David's ear and gave him another reason to be concerned. In all the years he'd known Jon, he'd never heard him be anything but enthused about a new child.

"I thought this baby was a surprise?"

Jon shook his head and gave a bemused laugh. "No, all the other kids were surprises. This one was planned, believe it or not." He shrugged. "Audrey really wanted one more kid. You know Audrey, she rarely asks for anythin' for herself so when she brought up havin' one more..." His voice trailed off.

"Do you want one more?"

Jon was silent for a long time, clearly struggling with the answer. "No," he said so quietly David had to strain to hear him. "I don't."

"Maybe I don't know Audrey as well I think I do," the doctor said gently, turning the water glass around and around in his hands. "But she doesn't strike me as one to nag about something like this or to manipulate things in her favor especially if she knows you aren't on board. Did she?"

"No."

"So why are you having another kid?"

"I couldn't say no to her."

"You couldn't?"

"I could have," Jon admitted. "I just didn't think it was fair to her. David, she's not even forty yet. I didn't want her to resent me down the line because she really wanted one more kid and I said no. I didn't want..." he stopped talking and stared off into space lost in his thoughts.

"You didn't want what?" David prompted.

"I didn't want George Feeny to be right all those years ago," he answered, looking back up at his friend, "when he told me that the age gap between us was too much. I didn't want my wife to think she's married to an old guy who's slowin' down."

"So it's better for her to think she's married to a guy who's just overloaded with more than he can handle and putting his family on the back-burner? Got it." David rolled his eyes as he said this.

Jon sat back from the table looking irritated. He was frustrated with himself for not being able to balance his life the way it needed it to be. And he didn't like being confronted and forced to admit his shortcomings.

David wasn't deterred by this. "Does Audrey know you didn't want another kid?"

"No, and she isn't gonna find out." Jon said pointedly. "This is the last kid, and I am not going to ruin it for her."

David shook his head. "Shutting down communication with your wife is not the answer, Jon. You're headed for trouble if you do."

"Am I gonna get charged for a counselin' session at the end of this?"

David said nothing. He wasn't offended; he knew Jon needed to vent.

Toying with the napkin again, Jon said regretfully, "I dunno, man, I'm just in a weird place in life right now I guess."

"What's up?"

"A couple of weeks before Shawn came home, I got together with a bunch of the guys from college. Do you know that every single one of them is divorced, includin' Eli? They were all jokin' about being free of the ball and chain and bein' able to get a girl as young as Audrey now. Or younger."

"That's always really bothered you, hasn't it?" For as long as David had known Jon, Jon had always hated the age question, not the question about his own age, but about Audrey's. He knew the judgments that the answer to that query brought and he detested feeling like he had to defend himself.

"Yeah. That's not why I married her. But no one cares about the real reason, especially those guys. All they wanted to do was talk like we were back in the locker room. Call me whatever you want but there are some things I'm not discussin' with anyone who's not Audrey. Once they got off that, all they could talk about was the 'glory days'. It's like the high point of their lives was college. I couldn't wait for that night to be over."

"Sounds like you've outgrown them."

"Yeah. I guess. You know, I see the guys once every two years or so; it's not really that big of a deal. But it really bothers me that Eli is like them now. We used to be so close. Now it's like I don't even know him anymore." Jon felt as though everyone he cared about was drifting away from him and he didn't know how to stop it without letting others around him down.

"You two have been friends a long time," David prompted, knowing the man across from him wasn't done talking.

"Yeah. I told Audrey about how much I didn't like bein' with the guys and she suggested I do somethin' with just Eli," he smiled, thinking about his wife's insistence that he take time for himself. "I mean we used to do a lot together: double date with our wives, family stuff. So we went out to shoot some pool a few days after the other guys left town."

"How'd that go?"

"It was just like being in college again." he said unhappily. "For one of us. Eli kept forgettin' I'm still married and expected me to be his wingman again. When he wasn't tryin' to get some woman's number he was complainin' about alimony, child-support and his ex-wife. I'm sorry but I don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who cheated on his wife at the end of his marriage." It bothered him greatly that they had grown so far apart; he and Eli had been friends for most of their lives. He didn't think anything would be able to change that. "I don't know, David, I left early. Eli called later wantin' an explanation. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to go back to college. He didn't get why I wouldn't want to be 'free'. I haven't talked to him since." He'd lost Eli which was akin to Shawn losing Cory- impossible yet it happened. How long until he lost Shawn again or Julia or... " This is not how I ever saw my life turnin' out."

David regarded him with concern. "What do you mean?"

"I never saw myself bein; a superintendent."

This admission was not at all what David was expecting to hear. He was both surprised and relieved.

"I never wanted to be one," Jon went on. "But I never wanted to be a principal either. I ended up likin' that a lot so I thought the same thing would happen again," Jon continued. "Now I see now why George was everythin' but a superintendent. I wished I'd paid more attention to his career path." He paused. "I hate this job."

That walled-off look overcame the superintendent's expression and David knew that, for now, he was done talking. But the doctor wasn't entirely ready to let him off the hook. So he asked a question that he knew Jon would find pointless but would tell him a lot about his friend's state of mind.

"If you could do anything you wanted to do right now, consequence free, what would it be?"

Jon started to tap his fingers against the table again as he considered the question. Finally, he said, "I'd take Audrey and the kids somewhere away from everythin' and everyone, but not totally secluded. Somewhere with nice weather. Somewhere that we could fly in relatives, a few close friends occasionally. We'd need a rink with off-ice-facilities nearby. But otherwise just us, no jobs, no interruptions. For about a year."

David hid a secretive smile behind his hand. "So you want a sparsely inhabited tropical island with a private airport, an ice rink, and dance studio?"

Jon chuckled at how absurd that sounded. "Sounds about right."

David smiled. To let Jon know the interrogation was over, he remarked humorously, "I said consequence free, man. Not reality free."

Jon sat back in his chair and laughed aloud as their lunch was brought to their table.

The week sped by quickly and Shawn found it difficult to get Audrey alone long enough to talk to her. This made him anxious as his job started the next week and he felt he had to get something going before it did. He didn't even bother to find time with Jon; he knew that was pointless.

Friday night rolled around again and brought with it Family Night. This was Shawn's third Family Night and there was a pronounced difference in Jon between this one and the first one; he struggled to stay awake and focus. Because of this the order of events was switched: game first then a movie. It was Julia's turn to pick the game but after discussing it with Shawn, she chose Splat both to appease Jamie and make it easier on their dad. Splat was a mindless game that everyone, but Jamie seemed bored with. Even Bella lost interest after not being allowed to randomly smash Jamie's bug and fell asleep. Julia spent most of the time texting Shawn, who was less than four feet away, her concerns about their father who was struggling to remember the very basic rules to a very basic game. Shawn was as concerned as she was.

That simple game managed to drag on until almost nine and, by some miracle, Audrey was able to convince the younger kids to go to bed. Jon told Shawn and Julia to pick out something to watch on Netflix while they said goodnight to the other kids. Watching Julia scroll through a screen on the TV was not nearly as exciting as Friday night movies once were. Shawn wrinkled his nose at the choices for family entertainment and felt a twinge of sadness for his sister who would never know the thrill of going to Blockbuster on Friday night.

****

Everyone went to Blockbuster after school. Everyone. Some of the lucky Everyones also got to pick out video games for the weekend. Everyone got some form of junk food to go along with those movies. Some of the Everyones would get their junk food from the store's overpriced choices of candy and popcorn. The rest of the Everyones would go to a nearby store that sold reasonably priced candy and get their junk food there. Most of the Everyones got pizza. The rest of the Everyones got McDonald's' or Burger King. Everyone got together on Monday morning to discuss the movies even if they'd already done so over the weekend.

Everyone, that is, except Shawn. Shawn was not an Everyone. He had never been an Everyone. He never would be an Everyone. Everyones did not live in trailer parks. Everyones had extra money for things like movie rentals. Everyones did not worry about whether there would be something to eat at home. Everyones did not worry about their parents' whereabouts or their sobriety status.

No big deal. Who cares? Who wants to do what everyone else does anyway? Bah humbug!

Shawn shoved his hands deep into his pockets giving the dirty tiles of John Adams High an even dirtier glare. Cory and Topanga were gathered around the lockers he was leaning against chattering excitedly about their afternoon plans. With every mention of Blockbuster, his hands dug deeper into the material until they threatened to rip through the seams.

"You can come with us if you want. I wish you would." Cory was looking expectantly at Shawn who couldn't see him through his downcast gaze and hair. "Mom and Dad are expecting you to go."

He said nothing. His lips pressed into a thin painful line as his teeth dug into his skin.

"Shawn?" Topanga was concerned about his sudden withdrawal and failure to acknowledge Cory.

"What?" He tossed his head back suddenly causing his long bangs to coolly flip back off his face.

"Cory invited you to come with us to Blockbuster," Topanga told him with a look of mild worry.

Shawn looked at his friends. Through no fault of their own, they were a part of the Everyones. They couldn't help it. They were born into it.

"Nah, not interested."

Topanga shrugged as Cory gave her a despondent frown. Feeling very out of place Shawn pushed off of the lockers and slung his book bag over his shoulder. "See you guys Monday."

"Yeah, see ya," they replied in unison.

Jon's classroom was empty, so Shawn threw his bag onto Cory's chair with a thud as he plopped himself down in his own chair to wait on his teacher. He leaned onto the desktop, resting his chin on his arms, and glowering at chalkboard.

Who cares about picking out stupid movies on a stupid Friday night? Who cares about getting pizza and candy and junk food at the same time? Who cares about talking about such dumb, stupid stuff after the weekend? Who cares? Not me!

Jon walked into his classroom more than a little surprised to see Shawn already there. Normally, he had to hunt him down on Fridays after school. He stopped at the teen's desk and looked at him in amazement.

"You're sittin' in your seat with all your stuff and totally quiet," Jon shook his head sardonically. "Man, I wish you'd do this durin' actual class time."

Shawn sat up and furrowed his brow, his eyes still on the board at the front of the class. Jon gave him a curious look as he walked up to his desk.

"Cory went home already I take it?"

"Yeah."

"Ah, that explains the silence."

"You gotta date tonight?" Shawn stopped glaring at the chalkboard and regarded his teacher seriously.

"No, I don't. Do you?"

"No."

Jon looked up at him. "You got somethin' you wanna do?"

Shawn shrugged still, frowning. The teacher briefly wondered if he and Cory had a disagreement and that was the reason for the sullen mood.

"Audrey's comin' home with us," he told the boy. "So if you've got any entertainment ideas, I'm all ears."

Shawn dug his toe into the carpet as though he was trying to wiggle the fibers apart. He tilted his head to the side in thought. He didn't want to do whatever one else did. He liked being different.

"I dunno, movie or somethin'."

Jon picked up a stack of papers on his desk and organized them before putting them in his bag. "I don't know that there's anything good playin' this weekend."

Shawn's frown deepened. Being different is what made him cool. He did not want to give his social status up.

"We could rent one."

Jon gave this some consideration. "Yeah, we could do that."

Shawn frowned and dug his toe across the carpet. "We could get pizza or somethin'."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Shawn's expression soured. He shouldn't say anything. The answer was just going to be no anyway so what did it matter? Besides, he liked being the bad boy. The rebel. The black sheep.

"We could go to Blockbuster."

Jon stopped loading his school bag for the weekend and gave his charge a funny look, not quite sure what the significance of the movie store was. He could tell, though, there was something important about it. "Then we'd better get Audrey and get over there before all the good stuff is gone."

Blockbuster was buzzing with activity by the time the trio got there. Shawn stopped just inside the door to take in his surroundings. It wasn't that he'd never been inside the video store before; he had several times with Cory. But he was always a guest. He had never been inside Blockbuster before as a bona fide customer. With people of his own. It was a weird feeling.

"Shawn, you're holdin' up traffic. Can we go all the way in please?" Jon gave him a nudge and motioned to the line that was piling up behind them.

Audrey put her hand through his arm and gave him a smile, pulling him along with her. Kids and their parents were swarming all over the store making it hard to see the rentals on the shelves. Groups of teenagers hung around at the end of aisles talking or hassling the younger kids who went by. It was hard to tell what section anyone was in.

"Listen" Jon told him, unconsciously putting his arm around Audrey, forgetting that they were in a public place. "If you want to do your own thing, go ahead but pick something we can all watch please."

"Yeah, sure." Shawn grinned, looking around for a starting point. It was exhilarating and a little overwhelming to be let loose under these circumstances.

"And I'm gonna check to make sure the video matches the cover."

Shawn waved at his teacher as he wove his way through traffic, trying find an interesting section to start looking at. He thought he found the action section, but when he got through the crowd, he found nothing but Care Bear movies. Before he could move on, he heard a shout.

"Shawn?!"

Cory's surprised voice rang out over the din of the crowd. He hurried over to his best friend, pulling his family along with him. Morgan was already nearby, but too engrossed in the videos to pay attention to anyone. "Hey! I'm glad you're here. I thought you weren't coming." He looked back at his parents silently begging them to let Shawn stay.

"Glad you could make it, Shawn," Amy said kindly.

"Yeah," Alan gave him a friendly smile and rolled his eyes. "You're just in time to help us pick out a boring movie."

Shawn tried to bite back a grin. "Thanks, but, um, I'm here with my, uh, people." He pointed over to where Jon and Audrey were browsing the shelves.

The Matthews exchanged looks, then Amy's face lit up. She abruptly dropped her husband's hand and made her way over to the other couple.

Cory gave him a knowing smile.

"You mean you're here with your family." Topanga smiled, genuinely happy for him.

"Yeah," he said, pleased she noticed. "Sorry, Mr. Matthews. I've got my own boring movie to pick out."

"I wanna watch The Little Mermaid!" Morgan loudly announced to everyone within earshot.

"Still gonna be better than whatever I watch tonight," Alan patted Shawn's shoulder as he passed by to collect his daughter.

Despite being at separate residences that night, the trio of friends stayed together searching through the videos. As they made their way down the aisles they ran into kids from school and spent more time talking than looking. Though several times both he and Cory broke away to run a movie over to their respective caretakers for approval. Most of the time their choices were shot down. Shawn did convince Jon and Audrey to get Jurassic Park. Mighty Ducks: D2 also got approval but there was one only one copy left with several other kids wanting it. Intense rounds of rock, paper, scissors ensued. Shawn left victorious.

During one of those times when Shawn left their group to run a video past Jon and Audrey, Harley Kiner somehow managed to find Cory in the crowd and isolate him from Shawn and Topanga. It was the first time he had ever faced Harley outside of school property and he was terrified. Cory backpedaled through the store in a panic while trying to talk the bully down. He prayed for Divine Intervention; he'd lost his parents and friends in the crowd, and it seemed hopeless to find someone willing to help him. From out of nowhere, Joey and Frankie joined Harley in his menacing march. Just when he was convinced his time on Earth was finally at its end, his back hit something solid and a pair of strong hands gripped his shoulders. He looked up to see Mr. Turner engaged in a silent showdown with Harley. As usual and without saying a word, his teacher won, and the bully and his gang exited the premises as quickly as they could.

Without letting go of him, Jon frowned down at him. "This is becomin' a bad habit of yours, Matthews."

"Yeah, I know," was the sheepish reply.

"What are you goin' to do when I'm not around?"

Cory held his hands out, palms up, as he shrugged. "Well, if you're anything like Mr. Feeny, I'll never know."

With an amused shake of his head, Jonathan gave Cory a friendly shove in the direction of his friends.

Once reunited, the trio found themselves at the end of one of the aisles of action movies where a group of kids from John Adams High were congregated. Cory, Shawn, and Topanga had only seen them in passing between classes. They were in the same grade, but they were one of the many groups that theirs never intersected with. They never had classes together or extracurriculars. Somehow, they managed to not even have the same teachers. Other than Mr. Feeny, of course. This group and ones like it might as well have been at a different school entirely. The friends actually knew kids from other schools better than they did the ones in these groups from their own school. In this particular group was a boy and two girls. The groups exchanged cautious hellos, wary of one another, until one of the girls took an interest in Shawn. Ever the flirt, Shawn chatted easily with her while Cory and Topanga small talked with the other two.

"So," the blonde, Tammy, said to him, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "I haven't seen you here before."

"Yeah, well," Shawn said suddenly feeling hot and uncomfortable. Up until this point, he had forgotten about the Everyones. "I've usually got other stuff to do on Friday nights." His eyes darted around the building looking for an escape route from the suddenly awkward conversation.

"Yeah, "the boy piped up. "Isn't your dad an English teacher or something?"

Rather than reply, Shawn shrugged as nonchalantly as he could.

"Poor baby," Tammy said, still twirling her hair. "No wonder you're never here. He must keep you doing homework all the time."

It now occurred to Shawn that he could boost his social status immediately by laying the blame for his Blockbuster absences onto Jon.

"Nah," he said casually. "He's cool. We just have other stuff to do."

"Hey! Is that your mom?" The brunette next to Tammy asked him, pointing across the store.

Shawn turned and looked. He smiled at his "parents". When he turned around the smile was replaced with a cool indifference. Again, he shrugged.

"Your mom is really pretty," she told him, sliding in closer to him.

"And your dad is really, really cute," Tammy told him flirtatiously, giving the brunette a disapproving side-eye. "You obviously take after him."

"Yeah," Shawn said proudly, lifting his chin a bit higher. "They're the best."

Cory and Topanga smiled at each other and said nothing to contradict him.

As he and his friends continued to navigate the store before meeting up with the adults to pick out overpriced candy and popcorn, Shawn had this strange feeling follow him everywhere he went. It was similar to the feeling he had the first time he came home to Audrey cooking dinner and Jon grading papers. It wasn't that same warm, cozy feeling but it was that same feeling of normalcy and contentment. Of acceptance. Of being like everyone else. Of being like Cory. That feeling followed him through the rest of his week. On the following Friday it grew even greater when Cory went with him to Blockbuster, this time as Shawn's guest.

****

Shawn sat on the couch, zoning out while Julia scrolled through the movies repeatedly. Finally, she stopped.

"Eh, this is as good as anything," she said, flopping down next to Shawn. She seemed as thrilled with movie night as he was.

Of all the things they could have watched she had to choose Mighty Ducks: D2 which struck Shawn as a little weird. He wondered if she could have heard the story of his first real trip to Blockbuster. But there was no way she could have been told. Only Cory knew how important that trip was. He decided, D2 must be a favorite movie. Or was she picking up on his thoughts? Shawn gave her a disturbed look, but she was too engrossed in her phone to notice.

Jon and Audrey finally returned to the family room and settled in with Shawn and Julia. They were unusually quiet. Shawn kept expecting some sort of sarcastic comment from Jon about how many times they had watched D2 over the years, but none came. Shawn wasn't sure he was even aware of what they were watching. His eyes were glazed over with drowsiness, and he kept nodding off even though the beginning credits weren't over. Audrey looked extremely uncomfortable and kept trying to shift her position as gently as she could without disturbing her husband. She wasn't successful. Eventually, Jon moved down toward the end of the couch to give her space. Audrey went from uncomfortable to unhappy. Shawn moved down so she could rest against him. He could no longer focus on the movie. Even Julia kept looking over at their parents with a perturbed frown.

Finally overcome with anxiety, Shawn gave Julia a nudge with his foot. She looked at him sharply.

"I just remembered that there's something I need to show you."

"And?" She frowned at him.

"And," he said giving her a Look. "Come with me." He gave Audrey an apologetic squeeze as he stood up.

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

Grumpily Julia got up, mumbling under her breath.

"Where are you two going?" Audrey asked.

"Uh, there's somethin' I need to show Julia that I forgot about. We'll be back in just a little bit."

"Okay," she said. She gave an uncertain glance in Jon's direction.

"Why are we out here?" Julia asked. They were standing just outside the doors of the family room. She wasn't sure why Shawn was suddenly acting so weird. "What did you have to show me right now?"

"Nothing!" Shawn replied in annoyance, surprised she hadn't caught on. "Everyone else is asleep and we needed to be out of there. You know, for them." Surely, he didn't have to spell this out for her.

"Oh. Yeah." Julia stood on her tiptoes to look over Shawn's shoulder and see what he was looking at. What she didn't see was anything worth standing in hall over. The view was the same as when they were on the couch. "So what are we lookin' at?"

"Nothin'," Shawn growled in frustration. "They aren't doin' anythin'."

"What are they supposed to be doin'?"

"Not that." Jon and Audrey were sitting there just as they had left them. Both looked miserable.

Julia stepped away from him and crossed her arms over her waist. "I hope this isn't the great plan you came up with to get them together. Cause it's a fail if it is."

Shawn shot her a dirty look. "It's not. Cory and I are still workin' on it."

"You know, they're my parents too," she snapped, looking miffed.

Shawn then realized that he had forgotten to include her in his planning with Cory.

Oops.

"We just threw some ideas around today," he told her trying to explain why he had forgotten her. "Cory's comin' back on Monday to put a plan together. We'll need you then. Besides, you were at practice."

Just as Julia was about to respond, Jon's phone rang.

Don't answer it. Don't answer it, Shawn and Julia silently willed him.

It was to no avail. Jon answered the call. Julia rolled her eyes and thudded her back against the wall. Shawn groaned and lightly banged his head against the door.

To make matters worse, Jon got up to take the call and pace the room leaving his wife alone. After a minute or so, Audrey paused the movie, got up, and headed towards the doors. Shawn and Julia backed out of the way, hiding down the hallway near the staircase before she could see them.

"I'd like to hang up on whoever just called," Julia snorted angrily.

"Stupid cell phones," Shawn muttered.

Julia looked at him curiously. "What does that mean?"

"It means you have to hack the phone now in order to end the call. And you can get caught doin' that. It used to be so much quicker and easier."

"How?"

"When I was your age very few people had cell phones and everyone had landlines," he explained, feeling suddenly much older than thirty-three. "Landlines all had wires going into the wall. If Dad got a call from someone I didn't like all I had to do was yank the line out from the wall and stick it back in. His call is over and I'm still on the couch watchin' TV."

"You do that a lot?"

"Nah. Only when Ms. Tompkins called."

As Julia tried to downplay her admiration of his sneakiness, Shawn tried to downplay his pride in her approval. They waited in the hallway for quite some time. Just as they were about to return to the family room, a disgruntled Jon stormed out, still on the phone, and went down to his study. As the office door shut, they could hear that he was clearly on a call with someone from the district. Assuming that this was just a temporary distraction, the duo went back to the movie. By the time the end credits rolled, the house was quiet and still.

"Well, that went well," Julia commented dryly. "They forgot about us. Didn't even say goodnight."

Shawn said nothing as he turned off the T.V. This was, undoubtedly, the worst Family Night. As they walked down the hallway to their respective bedrooms, they could hear Jon still on the phone. They exchanged frustrated frowns.

Shawn gave Julia a serious look that was laced with mischievousness. "How hard would it be for you get a hold of Dad's phone?"

Julia arched an eyebrow at him as a sly smile stretched over her face. "I can get it just like that," she said with a snap of her fingers.

Her brother grinned. "Good. Tomorrow. Get it as soon as you can. Then I think you, me, and Cory need to get together before Monday."

Julia returned his grin. It turned out that her mom was right after all: she finally had a brother she actually liked.

Chapter Text

It was 3:30 A.M. and Shawn had yet to sleep. His mind refused to be quiet. Instead, it animatedly buzzed with thoughts of his newfound family and the precarious position they were in. For hours he lay in the bed that was in the room that had been so painstakingly prepared for him, staring up at the ceiling trying to come up with a solution to his problems yet he found it tremendously difficult to focus. From the moment he realized there was a problem between Jon and Audrey, there had been a singular Question darting about his subconscious, nipping and growling at him to be given attention. Thus far, Shawn had been able to ignore it. But now, in the still darkness of his room, that persistent Query perched itself on the forefront of his thoughts and refused to budge.

Why am I here now?

A breath behind the Question was the Answer. That Answer that made no sense to Shawn. He tried to reason it away as foolishness, but the Answer would not leave him alone anymore that the Question would and it sat itself neatly next the Question, firmly planted and defiant.

Because they need you.

In all his life, the moments that Shawn felt needed were fleeting. All those moments were in the Past. The Past was not a place he liked to revisit. The Past, though it contained many good and wonderful moments, contained many more dark labyrinths. Those labyrinths all harnessed the power of multiple black holes that would trap him in their force fields and drag him down into the abyss, taking with it all those good and wonderful moments and the joy that went with them and shred them and him apart. But in those reckless moments when he allowed himself to take very brief visits to his childhood, he could not remember a moment when he was truly needed for who he was and what he had to offer.

He did not feel as if it was he himself who ever made the difference in any of the instances that he felt needed. It was simply that someone was required, and he happened to be there. He never felt as though he was the best person to fill the need or even the one who was supposed to; he just simply happened to be in the wrong place at the right time. This was the feeling that Shawn had concerning Maya and was the reason he struggled to see himself as a permanent fixture in her life regardless of what he wanted.

The Shawn Hunter she wanted was a fictional character. He was created through Cory's oft exaggerated stories and grown by the girl's imagination. He was not real. He did not exist. At any point before his actual arrival, someone could have pointed to a random man on the street and said to Maya, "that is Shawn Hunter" and her love and devotion would have been fixated on that man. Even if he, the real Shawn Hunter, were then to immediately walk up to her and introduce himself, she would have rejected him, having already filled his place with another. It just happened that he was the one to be introduced to her as Shawn Hunter. He was simply in the wrong place at the right time.

As for Cory? They had been friends for so long that by their teenage years they did indeed need each other often as they struggled through the experience of growing up. But was it Shawn Hunter that Cory Matthews really needed or was simply that Cory needed a best friend to grow up with and Shawn was the one there? When they were young, there had been a third member of their group. It was not Topanga then as the boys were in the midst of their "girls are gross" stage, Cory in particular. What was that kid's name? He could see his face but couldn't recall his name. This third member disappeared for reasons unknown to them, but had he stayed would Shawn have been the one to be Cory's best friend, his brother? Or would Cory have chosen the one whose name he couldn't remember? Was Shawn the chosen one because he was the one Cory needed? Or was it because he was the one who was left? Was this another case of being in the wrong place at the right time?

It was a question that would never be answered.

Shawn's mind drifted back to how his family, the one he was with now, began. It was undeniable that he needed Jon. In truth, Jon was the only person back then who could have handled him the way he was. No one, not Mr. Matthews, not Mr. Feeny, certainly not anyone from his trailer park family could have replaced Jon in his life. No one else could have done what Jon did for him. Yet despite that, they still often struggled with their newfound roles and trying to merge their very distinct lives, even with help from Mr. Matthews and Mr. Feeny. Their help could not do what Audrey did and bring the missing balance and peace to their lives that she brought. Jon was safety and discipline. Audrey was peace and love.

But what was Shawn? Did Jon need him? Did Audrey? Jon needed Audrey, there was no questioning that. Audrey needed Jon. Shawn needed them both. Shawn was trouble and frustration, worry, and sleepless nights. No one needed or wanted those things; they were already a by-product of living.

Shawn sighed as he thought about the irreplaceables in his life: Cory, Jon, Audrey, Mr. Feeny, the Matthews.

What about him? He was replaced often, wasn't he? Shawn shifted uncomfortably in his bed suddenly feeling as though the ceiling and the walls were too close for comfort and the room too hot. Julia suddenly came to mind.

Unlike Maya, the Turner kids had not grown up with exaggerated stories of a fictional Shawn Hunter. Rather they had made up stories about him only to explain his absence from the family as children are apt to do with estranged loved ones. There was no one who could be introduced to them in his place. No one could point to some random man on the street and convince them that he was Shawn Hunter. If someone had tried to do so Julia, Grayson, and Jamie would have ignored them for they knew better. It was not possible for anyone other than himself to be their oldest brother.

This hit him so hard it made him wince in physical pain.

Never in his life had Shawn been irreplaceable.

Cory would no doubt argue this, but the truth was that ever since he had chosen to marry Topanga and taken her as his wife and best friend, he had been replaced. Not fully of course, Cory was too loyal to do that. But those vows had forever altered their friendship. They had to and Shawn no longer held any bitterness over it. The change was difficult, painful even, but necessary. That friendship held fast as the years went by and survived Shawn's vagabond life. Now that he was back, his presence did not affect his best friend's established life. Shawn was wanted but not needed.

What did this mean now that he was home? He was wanted, yes. But was he needed?

Initially, Shawn didn't think it was possible his presence could affect much. As the weeks passed, he saw that Jon and Audrey needed someone to intervene in some way. He saw that Julia needed someone to help her work through this dangerous patch in their family's life. Was this another instance of him being in the wrong place at the right time? Being in the right place at the wrong time?

Why am I here now?

When Jon chose him all those years ago; when Audrey chose him as she became a part of Jon's life: did they do it because they needed him? Wanted him? Both? When he left them behind to wander his own personal desert, they could have shut the door and not looked back. Why didn't they? Why did they keep a room just for him for so long?

In the clarity of the early morning hour, understanding struck him with deep resonance: there was no one who could take his place. There was no one else that could complete this family because there was no one missing but him. There was no one else who could be the older brother Julia needed because there was no other older brother but him. Some random man on the street could not make everything run along smoothly. Cory could not do this nor could Eric or Mr. Feeny or Eli.

Because they need you.

It wasn't even that he was the best person for the job; he was the only person for this moment.

To be the only one capable of undertaking such an enormous task brought with it a new set of challenges and fear. And a deep sense of responsibility. It was overwhelming and Shawn wasn't sure he was equipped for the job. Doubt screamed at him that he would fail in this as he had with Angela and others. Shawn stared up at the ceiling. Through the roar of doubt rose an intense swell of renewed focus and fresh purpose. He knew why he was here and what he had to do. With newfound courage, Shawn determined with everything that was within him that he would see this through to the end, whatever that might be.

Some time, just before dawn, Shawn Hunter fell into a deep, peaceful slumber.

Chapter Text

Having an epiphany in the wee hours of the morning tends to change a person's attitude toward life in general and people specifically. When Shawn saw Julia for the first time Saturday morning without hesitation, he pulled her into a big hug, the first he'd ever given her. She looked at him as though he was a few fries short of a Happy Meal but did not resist. Instead, she held on a moment longer than he did. The two gathered breakfast for themselves in silence as it was still early and no one else was up. Shawn was still in repose with his mind on those early morning revelations. Julia was uncharacteristically quiet. On his way to retrieve the milk from the refrigerator, Shawn noticed his sister was staring strangely at the coffeemaker with a disturbed expression.

"What's wrong?"

"It's cold," she said quietly as though this was a terrible tragedy. She hugged her father's oversized shirt that she was wearing close to her heart and shivered despite the warmth of the kitchen.

"I don't understand."

"It's never cold, no matter how early it is," Julia told him, turning large gray eyes on him. They were so stormy and haunted that it made Shawn uncomfortable. She looked like a lost child who had walked away from her parents in a crowd and couldn't find her way back to them. "Dad's always the first one up and he always has the coffee running. He always has Mom's mug out so he can take her coffee as soon she wakes up." She pointed at the bare counter next to the machine. The disturbed look now took on the form of anxiety. She looked as though she might cry.

Shawn put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder, trying to comfort her but it didn't help.

"I've never gotten up ever in my whole life and that thing hasn't been on with Mom's mug by it." Julia sank into her brother, suddenly feeling very young and very scared. "Dad's here, isn't he, Shawn? He didn't leave without tellin' us, did he?" There was a plea in her voice that begged him to tell her she was being silly; that there was a reasonable explanation for this anomaly.

"I'm sure he is," he assured her as strongly as he could. Shawn could not imagine that he wasn't. Surely Jon would not have gone to the office on a Saturday or anywhere else for that matter without letting someone know. "Maybe Mom just had a rough night. You know the baby's been keepin' her up a lot. They're probably just sleepin' in. I'm sure as soon Dad gets up, he'll make coffee just like always. Besides we are up kinda early- it's only 6:15 on a Saturday, Jules."

"Yeah, I guess," Julia had trouble taking her eyes off the machine in front of her.

"So," Shawn said, trying to distract her. "You guys still watch Saturday morning cartoons?"

Julia wrinkled her nose. "Those really haven't been on much since I was a kid."

"No way." Shawn couldn't believe that. Saturday morning cartoons were a rite of passage for every kid. They had to still be on somewhere.

After a frustrating search through the cable channels came up with not much more than a bunch of animal programs, Shawn and Julia ended up watching someone's attempt to recreate a 90s Saturday morning programming block on YouTube. It annoyed him to have to watch the TV shows on a laptop screen. Julia, however, seemed enthralled.

"This is better than anything I can remember watching," she remarked wistfully, fully absorbed in the media in front of her.

"Meh," Shawn replied, already bored. "That's only because you have no idea what you missed."

She made a face at him. "So tell me."

"I dunno," he sighed, allowing himself to think back to the days when cartoons were the most important thing to do on Saturday mornings. Trying to put into words what those days were like to a kid who was born at the end of them was harder than he expected. "I guess to most people, it wasn't a big deal, really. You got up as early as you could to watch as much TV and eat as sugary cereal as you could before the adults got up. It was just somethin' everyone did. I didn't get to do a lot of that normal kinda stuff unless I was at Cory's house. But most of the time I wasn't."

"Where were you?"

"Home."

"Home with Dad?"

"No, no. The trailer park," he clarified. "Home wasn't with Dad until I was fourteen, about to turn fifteen. When Mom started student teachin' at John Adams High that's when things changed, I got to experience a real normal for the first time."

"So you were my age when that happened?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"You know," he said, smiling at the memory. "Cory was the only one who really got it back then. I mean, Mom and Dad knew to an extent how much Saturday mornin's meant to me, stuff like that. But he got it."

o0o0o

It wasn't quite 6:15 when Shawn and Cory quietly snuck out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

"So," Cory said in a hushed tone, rubbing his hands together, "what trouble are we going to get into this morning, my Shawn?"

Without thinking, Shawn let go of the refrigerator door. He managed to catch it just before it slammed shut. "Watch as much TV as we can before Jon gets up."

Cory blinked. "Huh?"

"Yeah," Shawn stood on his tiptoes to reach the sugary cereal his teacher had hidden in the back of the high cabinet. "Jon limits my TV time in the morning to an hour if I don't have my homework done. And you know I don't have my homework done." He tossed a box of Lucky Charms to Cory. "Don't eat too much. Audrey's comin' over around 8 to make breakfast. And trust me you're gonna want to have plenty of room for her breakfast. She makes the best chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and that red rope licorice."

Cory shook out the cereal into his bowl, stopping every so often to pick out the non-marshmallow parts of the cereal and return to its container. "So you really just wanna watch TV?"

"Yeah, isn't that what you do on Saturdays?"

"Well, yeah, unless you're staying over. Then I have fun."

Shawn shrugged and took the cereal boxes and shoved them back into their places in the cabinet. He grabbed his overloaded cereal bowl and a soda and headed to the couch. Cory followed, more than a little disappointed to be doing something so mundane on his first time sleeping over at Shawn's place.

"Aw, man! We're up too early," Shawn made a face as he flipped through the channels. "Madeline is still on!"

"There's gotta be something better than that," Cory said then frowned. "Not that I would know. Morgan hijacks the TV every Saturday. No matter how early I get up there she is."

Shawn flipped through the channels with little interest until he hit the WB and Gladiators 2000. "Beats Madeline."

Cory nodded in agreement. They made it through Animaniacs, Batman and Robin, Bump In the Night before Jon got up and caught them.

"You said I can watch TV for an hour on Saturdays before I have to do anythin'," Shawn protested as his teacher took the remote from him.

"An hour's an hour," Jon said, pocketing the remote. "It doesn't begin when I get up. It begins when you start watchin'."

"It hasn't been an hour!"

"Yeah, right. Catch the last half of Madeline, did you?"

"That does not count as part of the hour."

Cory's eyes bounced back and forth between the two. The dispute felt a bit surreal to him. This wasn't the type of thing that typically caused arguments at Shawn's place, at least not when Shawn was with Chet Hunter. Those were far more serious in nature and resulted in his best friend taking off.

"So you watched Gladiators instead?" Jon rolled his eyes. "That's fifteen minutes off of your hour."

"It's Saturday!"

"We had a deal about this TV stuff on weekends. And your homework isn't done."

"I have a guest," Shawn retorted as if Jon was unaware of this. "This is cruel and unusual punishment to not let me watch TV on Saturday mornin' with my guest over stuff that isn't due until Monday."

Cory hid a smile behind his hand. He'd heard this same argument over and over as he, Eric, and Morgan had all been through it with their parents. Repeatedly. It was extraordinarily funny to him, to listen to Shawn and Mr. Turner go back and forth over the same, non-serious issue.

"Whatever," Jon headed back towards his bedroom taking the remote with him, even though he knew the TV was going back on as soon as he left. "I'm gonna take a shower. Lemme know when Audrey gets here okay?"

After their teacher was gone, Shawn got up and turned the TV on himself and the boys went back to watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles until Audrey showed up right at eight o'clock. Shawn greeted her with a bear hug before turning and yelling as loud as he could:

"Hey Dad! Mom's here!"

Audrey laughed, took his face between her palms and rested her forehead against his. She then ruffled his hair as she headed to the kitchen.

"Hey, Cory," she greeted the boy with a warm, happy smile that lit up her entire face.

"Hi, Miss Andrews." Cory couldn't help but grin back at her.

"Shawn," Jon came out of his bedroom looking annoyed. "Do ya have to yell? Because of you, the entire apartment buildin' thinks Audrey and I are divorced with the weirdest custody arrangement ever."

"Yeah, I know." Shawn grinned at Cory and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I told everyone that a family judge ordered them to spend all non-sleepin' hours together with me for my mental health or I be committed to a kid's psych ward, and they'd face jail time."

As Cory started to laugh, Jon leaned over the couch not looking too pleased. To Shawn he asked, "Do you sit up at night comin' up with ways to make my life more complicated or is that just a rare gift you have?"

Shawn glanced at Cory, then grinned cheekily at their teacher. "To be honest, it's a bit of both."

Jon rolled his eyes as he stood up, took a swipe at Shawn's hair, and joined Audrey in the kitchen. Cory couldn't help but notice that he greeted her in the same way his dad greeted his mom in the morning by wrapping his arms around her waist and talking to her in affectionate, low tones. The only difference was that Jon kissed Audrey on the cheek instead of on the lips. He also couldn't help but notice Shawn was watching them out of the corner of his eye and smiling happily to himself.

While Audrey cooked, Jon and Shawn went back and forth with the TV: every time Shawn turned it on, Jon, who was standing in the kitchen with the remote, would turn it off. It evolved into a game with Cory and Shawn jumping on the coffee table and trying to block the remote signal to prevent the TV from turning off. Cory had once played this with Eric, but fortunately this game didn't end like the previous one: with a face to the edge of the coffee table and a trip to the emergency room. His face, of course, not Eric's.

As the morning went on Cory spent more time observing than talking. There was something unusual going on here, but something quite familiar, too. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He thought back to all the Saturday mornings when he and Eric would sneak downstairs extra early to watch TV before they were allowed to and eat as much junk breakfast food as they could before they got busted. Just like today. As he watched, Audrey piled pancakes up onto plates and Jon set them out on the table, Cory thought about all the times his own mom had made her special pancakes and his dad would take them to the table. Cory's gaze fell on Shawn and Jon who were carrying on a conversation about something or other, trading sarcastic quips as they did so. Audrey was ignoring most of what they were saying. Just like his mom did. At one point, Jon put his arm around Audrey and held onto to her as he continued to talk. Just like his dad did.

In all the sleepovers at other people's homes, Cory had never noticed anyone else's parents being around much when the kids got up in the mornings. This was so different because it was so familiar to Cory.

It was like...It was like...It was like being home.

Home.

It was then that Cory understood why Shawn wanted to watch cartoons and eat Lucky Charms; why he wanted to spend the weekends at home doing very ordinary, family-centered stuff and going to very ordinary, family-centered places. Stuff that was so common to Cory that it bored him. But this wasn't common for Shawn. Not in his own home with his own family. This was all new to him. And a really big deal. Huge. He knew how tired Shawn was of always being the guest in other people's homes. He knew how badly his best friend wanted a stable home and to be wanted by the adults who were supposed to take care of him. Cory stayed in the living room not wanting to disrupt the moment. He stared at his teachers overcome with a feeling of tremendous gratitude for what they were doing for Shawn.

"Come on, Cory," Audrey waved him over to the table. "Time to eat."

"Great, I'm starving," he grinned back at her with a strange expression of admiration mixed with adoration. He turned to his English teacher and regarded him in the same manner.

Jon gave him a funny look and shifted uncomfortably under Cory's intense gaze. "You feelin' okay, Matthews?"

"Yeah, Mr. Turner," he said gratefully. "I'm feelin' great."

0o0o

"Okay, so that does sound more fun than this," Julia said, pointing her spoon at the laptop. She paused for a moment, her smile fading into a straight line. "Before Dad became superintendent, Mom used to do big pancake breakfasts on Saturdays and Dad always played with us while she did. She doesn't do that anymore and neither does he."

Shawn frowned and rubbed his mouth this hand desperately trying to come up with something to change the situation they were facing. The beginnings of an idea was starting to form.

"Jules, as soon as you can, I want you to get a hold of Dad's phone."

"Sure. Why?"

"I don't know exactly. But I want to see how it's set up and find out how much we can mess with it without Dad noticing." Shawn didn't think that would be too difficult considering how distracted Jon was these days. "Does he have an iPhone?"

"No, Galaxy."

"Oh, good. That's makes it easier."

Julia arched an eyebrow. "You really have no idea what you're gonna do, do you?"

"Not really," he shrugged. "But for now, I want to turn on the do not disturb feature. I should be able to get rid of the notification, so he won't notice it."

"It's a start," Julia shrugged, unimpressed. "But that's all it is."

Before they could continue, Grayson and Jamie bounded down the stairs, chatty and hungry. While Shawn helped Jamie get breakfast, Julia left Grayson to fend for himself while she went back to watching the '95 Saturday morning lineup. Revenge came when Grayson and Jamie snatched the laptop away from her and ran into the living room. Julia growled at them but let them go. Shawn got a laugh out of the boys excited squeals over the commercials of his childhood of all things.

At almost 8 am, neither Jon nor Audrey had been seen yet. Shawn prayed it was a good sign. However, both he and Julia were quite alarmed when Bella was heard crying from the top of the stairs. Somehow, she'd gotten out of her bed and out of her room. She was lonely and sitting in a wet diaper. She held her chubby, little arms out to Shawn. Her diaper squished as he picked her up and he couldn't help but make a face.

The toddler regarded him pitifully for a long moment before pulling back and twisting around in his arms. "Daddy," she said mournfully, pointing back to her room.

Behind them Julia harrumphed in agitation. "She shouldn't be able to get out of her room," she told Shawn.

"I don't know. Kids can be pretty good at doing things they aren't supposed to."

"Yeah, which is exactly why Dad had a special knob put on her door. Grayson and Jamie must have let her out then left her."

"We did not," insisted Grayson, who was eavesdropping on his siblings. He had been feeling quite left out since Julia and Shawn had made peace. He preferred it when they weren't on friendly terms.

Julia shot him a dirty look nonetheless, then she turned to Shawn.

"She needs to get out of that wet diaper," she told him.

"Yeah, I never actually changed Riley's diaper, so..."

"Oh, come on, I'll show you how."

Bella's room was dark as the blackout curtains were still drawn. The only light in the room was a soft night light that lit the corner of the room where the bed was. Light from the hallway spilled into the room as Julia opened the door. Both she and Shawn came to a dead halt just before they entered the room.

"Daddy," Bella said shortly, scowling.

Their father was asleep in the armchair in the nursery. Judging from the fact that he had both a pillow and blanket and was still in his nightclothes, he had been there for quite some time. Julia stepped back, pulling the door with her. She moved so suddenly that Shawn had little time to get out of the way and nearly had the door shut in his and Bella's faces. The youngest child began to whimper and tug at her diaper. Julia looked as though she might throw up, her face twisting as she tried not to cry.

Shawn's mind was reeling. He wasn't sure this was as bad as his sister seemed to think it was. He remembered many times that he and Topanga had found Cory asleep in Riley's room when she was a baby simply because he got up in the night to check on her and was too tired to make it back to his own bed. Topanga never seemed bothered by this; she seemed to find it endearing. It was Julia's reaction that worried him. With three younger siblings she no doubt knew what was normal for her parents and what was not. Clearly this was not normal for Jon. Maybe by the fourth kid it wasn't so endearing to fall asleep in your baby's room. He had no way of knowing.

"Jules," he said softly. "Let's not freak out until we have to."

She glanced up at him and nodded. She straightened up, obviously trying to collect herself.

"Bella is gonna freak out if we don't get her changed."

Again, Julia nodded and quietly slipped into her sister's room. She tried extremely hard not to look at her father, sleeping where he shouldn't be. She was successful in this until she was on her way out. Unfortunately, she looked in her father's direction and the tears started to fall. Although she hardly made a sound, it was somehow enough to wake Jon up.

"Jules?" he asked groggily, blinking sleepily. "What are you doin' in here?"

"What am I-" she bit back the sarcastic retorted. "I'm gettin' Bella a new diaper. We found her sittin' in a wet one at the top of the stairs."

"What?" Jon stood up suddenly and looked around. "Where is she?"

"Shawn's got her. Why are you here?"

Jon stared at the toddler's bed and did not answer. Instead, he turned and headed to the door.

"Dad?"

"What?"

"Why are you in here?"

Jon stopped but did not turn around. "Your sister needs to be changed."

"Yeah, I know," Julia said, holding the diaper up. She didn't like being ignored, especially by her father. "Why are you sleepin' in here and not in your room with Mom?"

"What's with the interrogation?" he snapped petulantly. His expression was grim as though she was asking a question, she had no business asking.

Julia stared at him in disbelief. It wasn't so much what he said but how he said it. She could not recall her father ever speaking to her like that. Normally, he would joke with her and redirect her if the question was out of line. But never did he react to a simple question so harshly. His tone stung and a hurt anger rose up within her.

"Don't worry about Bella. I got it covered," she snapped rudely and flounced out ahead of him.

Once again Shawn almost got hit by the door. Julia was in a foul mood and before he could ask why she grabbed him by the arm and practically pulled him downstairs. Once in the living room, Julia sullenly abandoned them, leaving Shawn with a diaper and a miserable toddler. What was he supposed to do?

Thankfully, Grayson was still lurking nearby and showed him where the extra changing mat and wipes were. His help ended there, however. He wasn't interested in the actual diaper change. As Shawn laid the crying child down on the mat, he looked at her regretfully.

"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely. The gravity in his voice made her stop and look at him. "I don't know what I'm doin'."

Bella raised her eyebrows in apprehension as though she fully understood what he said. Shawn looked at her imploringly.

"Please don't pee on me."

Grayson wandered into the kitchen feeling a little lost. He had a hockey game later that day and was supposed to be at the arena by eleven. It was well after eight and he had yet to see either of his parents. Shawn was entertaining Bella, Julia was in a rotten mood, and Jamie was Jamie. Grayson didn't know what he was supposed to be doing, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he should be something. So he found himself in the kitchen where everyone in the family ended up sooner or later and waited. But waiting without knowing why was boring and soon Grayson was staring into the open refrigerator as there was nothing else to do in the kitchen.

"Hey, if you're not gonna get somethin' out of there, shut the door, please."

The sound of his father's voice startled him causing Grayson to jump. He turned to his dad, relieved and excited that at least one of his parents was up. Now his day could get started.

"Dad, can we get to the arena early? Coach said anyone who gets there early can warm up at open skate." Grayson launched into an exuberant, rapid speech about the events of the day.

Jon stared at him through sleep blurred eyes. He struggled to process what his son was saying and finally held up his hand to stop the torrent of words.

"G, what are you talkin' about? We aren't goin' to the arena today."

Grayson fell silent and blinked several times. He stared at his father unable to make sense of what he said. Had he done something wrong and was now being punished? He couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong. Maybe Jamie had done something and blamed him for it. But if it was so bad that he would be grounded from playing the game he loved surely, he would remember. Right?

"We're not?"

"No," Jon turned away from his son in order to get away from the stricken look on the boy's face. "That's the last thing I wanna do today. Sorry, G."

Grayson Jonathan Turner was ten years old and a hockey player. Ten-year-old hockey players did not cry. Not when they lost and not when they got banned from a game for unsportsmanlike conduct or something their brother blamed them for. Yet somehow a lone tear still managed to escape down the boy's cheek.

"I have to miss my game? What did I do?"

Jon froze. There was a game today? He groaned. It completely slipped his mind. He would never admit it to his son, but it really was the last thing he wanted to do. Turning back to the boy who looked so forlorn, he mustered up a halfhearted smile and said,

"No, of course, not. I just forgot what day it was. Yeah, we're goin'. But don't count on bein' there early."

Grayson stood in the middle of the kitchen feeling very out of sorts. He watched his father go about his daily routine of making coffee. Something about what he was doing bothered Grayson, but he didn't know why. As Jon picked up his mug and began to leave, Grayson caught his sleeve.

"Dad, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just tired. Why?"

Grayson pointed to the coffeemaker as though Jon should know what was wrong.

"G, I don't feel like playin' guessin' games. What is it?"

"You forgot Mom's coffee."

Jon blinked, then stared down at his mug. There was a strange expression on his face; one of mental and physical weariness and something else. The ten-year-old didn't understand what it was or why his father looked so sad.

"Thanks for the reminder, G" he said, returning to the coffeemaker. "No wonder Mom's not up, right?"

Grayson gave him a short nod. He stood in the doorway, watching his father closely. He continued to watch him until Jon took Audrey's mug to their room. As the boy walked back down the stairs to get his gear ready for the game, he worried about the weirdness that was hanging over the house. He didn't have enough experience to figure out what was going on; he only knew something was wrong. He wondered if that was why Shawn and Julia were suddenly best friends.

Shawn waited until Jon came back downstairs to fix himself breakfast before he attempted to talk to him. He stood quietly in the doorway, watching his former teacher studiously. It wasn't that he was trying to catch Jon in a good mood, but rather Shawn was waiting for the right moment to force him into a very particular mood. It was a risky thing to do and there was a very good chance that this would backfire on him, but it was a chance he had to take.

Jon caught a glimpse of Shawn out of the corner of his eye. The way his former student was watching him made him uncomfortable.

"Thanks for takin' care Bella this mornin'."

"No problem," Shawn shrugged, stepping inside the kitchen. "Though I really could have used a Diaperin' 101 class."

Jon gave a short, tired laugh. "Yeah, I remember the first time I tried to change Julia's diaper alone. That was a disaster. I'm glad she can't remember it and Audrey wasn't there to see it."

Shawn smiled, still carefully observing him. "I managed after about ten minutes. I'm just glad she didn't pee on me."

"It's the boys who do that," Jon told him. "You're lucky Jamie's way past that stage. Every single time with that kid no matter what you did to avoid it."

Shawn paused. He licked his lips then pressed them together pensively. "So you got plans for after the game today?"

Jon poured milk over his cereal and shook his head. "Nah, no plans."

"Why don't you and Mom and take the day off afterwards. Jules and I can watch the little kids."

Mom? Jules? When did Shawn start using those names? Jon felt like he'd missed some major turning point in Shawn's return to the family. It was also a nick to his pride to hear the way Shawn referred to Audrey. Unless he'd just missed it, he hadn't heard Shawn refer to him by anything other than his name.

"Are you gonna get on me about not spendin' time with Audrey again?"

Shawn leaned against the counter. "I'd like to spend some time with you. And I just think that if you can't make time for her, you aren't gonna make time for me. It'd be nice to talk to you without bein' interrupted every other minute."

Jon bristled. "Yeah, well, when you have kids that's what happens."

"They aren't the problem."

"Yeah, and what is, Shawn?"

And there it was; the beginning of the mood Shawn was hoping to get him in.

"You know what it is," he replied evenly.

"It's the job," Jon's tone was becoming defensive. "So what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, but somethin' has to change."

"Look, this is the way things are until June. I'm sorry but that's the way the job is."

Shawn took a moment before responding as he was about to enter dangerous territory. "I hope that's all it is."

The superintendent looked up at him sharply. He was not happy. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothin'." He locked eyes with Jon. "It's just really hard to understand why this particular job is so all-consuming that's all."

"You think I'm purposely makin' this harder?" Jon glared at him. "Why would I do that, Shawn? So I don't have to be home?"

"I never said that." He could see the older man was getting very agitated and he had to tread lightly. "You did. Gotta admit though, I'm kinda wonderin' why you're gettin' so upset if there's nothin' else goin' on."

"Everyone is on my case about somethin' I can't control! You really think I enjoy this? That I enjoy bein' tired all the time and feelin' terrible?"

Shawn shrugged, carefully gauging the intensity of Jon's reactions. Once upon a time, he knew Jon so well that he could push him just far enough to get him to act without going too far. But there was a lot of time and a lot of change between them, and he was no longer sure how far was too far.

"You think my job should be easier? That I'm purposely makin' it hard?" He was angry. " Fine. Then why don't you come and spend a week with me. You do exactly what I do for a week and then you come back and tell me I'm purposely makin' it hard."

Shawn bit back a triumphant smirk. He still had Jon's number after all; this challenge was exactly what he was hoping for. He ran a hand through his hair, purposely taking his time in responding.

"If you insist."

"Heads up!"

Julia's warning startled Shawn who, after making amends with Jon, was in the living room trying to entertain Jamie while the rest of the family got ready for Grayson's game. He just barely missed getting hit in the face with a phone. As he was about to reprimand her for throwing a projectile at him, Jon walked through the living talking to Grayson. Realizing that it was Jon's phone that had been thrown at him, Shawn quickly pocketed the device until the room was empty again, except for Jamie. Julia grabbed her little brother and plopped him down in front of the TV hoping he'd be distracted enough to leave them alone until Shawn was done doing whatever he was going to do.

"You see Mom yet?" Shawn asked as Julia unlocked their father's phone for him. Jon had gotten a little more creative with pass codes over the years but not by much.

"Yeah," she said morosely. "She doesn't look too good. I think she did have a rough night. And she's super quiet."

Shawn grimaced. "That's not good."

It took less than thirty seconds to set up the do not disturb feature on the phone, but it took much longer than he anticipated to disable the notification for it permanently. Ten minutes and several Googled how-to articles later, Shawn smirked triumphantly at the phone, quite pleased with his accomplishment. As he was about to hand the phone back to Julia, the ringtone announced an incoming call. Shawn quickly silenced the phone before checking to see who the call was. He scowled.

Kat Tompkins.

"Hey, Jules, you remember me tellin' you how I used to end Dad's calls with Ms. Tompkins?"

Julia looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah?"

"Would you like the honor?" He held the phone out to her so she could see the screen.

With a wicked smile, Julia pushed the button that terminated the call. Shawn looked thoughtful as he swiped through the call log.

"Bein' able to slam a receiver was way more satisfyin' than pushin' a button."

"Why?"

"Because the force of the slam was directly proportional to the level of anger you had with the person on the other end."

Before Julia could say anything, they heard Jon coming down the hall, clearly frustrated, and looking for his phone. Shawn tossed the phone to Julia who, after a moment's hesitation, dropped it in between the couch cushions.

"What's up, Dad?" she asked innocently, leaning into Shawn.

"I can't find my phone," he said. Jon stopped his search for a moment and regarded his children curiously. Something was up. Those two had been way too chummy and quiet lately and it was just a bit worrying.

"We'll help you look," Shawn told him.

Jon saw a look pass between them, but he was too tired to bother with it. As they searched, he couldn't help noticing that they spent a strange amount of time in the living room.

"Uh, guys," he called to them, "I haven't been in the livin' room this mornin'."

"You haven't?" Shawn asked and glanced at Julia.

Again, a look passed between the two. Jon was beginning to get annoyed. Shawn saw this, looked at him, then pointed to the couch.

"So is this Mom's phone then?" he asked almost as innocently as Julia.

Irritation ran up Jon's spine at the way he called Audrey "mom". It wasn't rational, but it really bothered him that Shawn referred to her as such. He shook the thought away and tried to focus on finding his phone. As he looked at his son and daughter, Jon had the strangest feeling that they both knew the answer to that question. He walked over to the couch and looked at where Shawn was pointing. Sure enough it was his phone in between the cushions.

"How the-?" Jon was baffled. He knew he had not been in the living room that morning. There was no way the phone had fallen out of his pocket and ended up there. One of the kids must have gotten a hold of it, but how? When? Had he been in this room and just didn't remember? He felt an all too familiar pain creeping up his shoulders, the onset of a headache. He really wished he could just stay home and not be anywhere or do anything.

"You okay, Dad?" Julia was at his side with a worried expression.

"Uh, yeah, Jules, I'm fine," he said absently, kissing the top of her head. Picking up the phone, he checked to see if he had missed any calls, but there was no record that he had. He put the device in his back pocket and left the room muttering something about losing his mind.

Shawn and Julia exchanged another look, this one of both relief and concern.

The Stephen A. Schwarzman Building or, as it was better known, the Main Branch of the New York Public Library. The library was a historic landmark in Midtown Manhattan. It was four stories worth of books and exhibits, almost 2.5 million volumes. Shawn and Julia were supposed to meet Cory at the main entrance steps at Fifth Avenue and East 41st Street. But they were running behind schedule as Grayson's game had gone into overtime, resulting in a shoot-out loss. After the family made it back home, the duo had delayed in heading to their meeting because not only was Grayson down over the loss but a dark cloud seemed to hang over the family as though everyone was unwillingly involved in a routine event and resentful of the others for just going through the motions. Shawn very nearly called the whole thing off after seeing Jon and Audrey heading to different parts of the house with Jon shutting himself in his office. But he decided that it was better to leave them like this now rather than later.

The trio exchanged greetings near the pair of stone lions that guarded the library entrance. It took a while for them to find a quiet, hidden spot to hole up in in the Main Reading Room, which was about 78 by 297 feet with a 52-foot-high ceiling. Although it was highly unlikely that they would encounter anyone they knew, the group decided it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once seated, Cory rubbed the palms of his hands together. If he seemed overly enthused about what they were doing it was because he was. He relished being able to do something out of the ordinary for once.

"So, my Shawn, my niece, what ideas do we have so far?"

Shawn and Julia, who were sitting across from him, looked at each other. Julia shrugged. Shawn reported that he'd managed to get himself invited to tag along with Jon for a week.

"Nice," Cory said impressed. "I wasn't sure you'd still be able to do stuff like that."

"I wasn't either," his best friend admitted. "I'm glad Dad hasn't changed that much."

A small smile pulled at Cory's lips when he heard Shawn call Jon "dad". It was about time.

Shawn tapped his fingers against the table's top. He looked up at Cory with a serious expression. "After I enabled Dad's do not disturb feature on his phone and disabled the notifications for it, guess who called?"

Cory's face lost its eagerness and turned grim. "You're kidding? On a Saturday?"

Shawn nodded. "We don't know why she called, though."

"I hung up on her," Julia told him with a certain amount of satisfaction, tossing her dark curls over her shoulder.

"Good for you. Did you check to see if she's been texting him?"

Shawn shook his head. "Didn't have time. You know," he drawled out slowly, thinking. "I need an app."

Cory arched an eyebrow in question. Shawn turned to Julia. "Jules, I need an app that would allow me get calls and texts from Dad's phone. I want to be able to reroute his calls, take them myself, or" he paused. "I just wanna be able to control calls and texts."

Julia thought for a moment. "I don't know of anything like that off-hand, at least nothin' that would be safe to use."

Cory frowned and Shawn sat back in his chair, disappointed.

"But," she continued, "I do know someone who could create an app like that. I'll need specifics on what you want."

Shawn grinned. But his sister wasn't so happy.

"It's gonna cost, though," she told them. "This kid ain't cheap."

The men shrugged not bothered at all.

"We'll cover it," Cory said.

The trio spent the next half an hour clarifying plans for the app. Once satisfied, Julia took a picture of their notes and texted it to her friend.

"So," Cory sat forward, laying his palms on the table. "My role in all of this is to facilitate you two in your crazy scheme then point out everything that could go wrong with it."

"And agree to go along with it anyway," Shawn finished with a grin.

"That's the way it works," Cory said matter-of-factly. "I get that you want to free up Jon's after school time, but what about actual work stuff? I mean messing with calls and texts could mess with his job."

"Yeah, I know," Shawn said seriously. "When I go with him next week, I'm gonna try to figure out what types of calls he gets and what's really necessary to deal with after hours. I won't mess with anythin' if I don't have to."

"Okay," Cory conceded. "Sounds reasonable. What if you get caught with this app on your phone?"

Shawn considered this. "Burner phone," he replied. "If I get asked why I have two, I'll say one's for work. If it gets found by someone, it's not mine."

Cory nodded.

Julia regarded the two men with her chin resting on her hand. "Any other holes in the plan, Uncle Cory?"

"I'm sure there are but I don't see 'em right now."

"So we get access to Dad's phone, so what?" she asked, underwhelmed by the plot so far. "I don't see how this is going to help."

"Dad has no time because it's like he's on call twenty-four/seven," Shawn explained. "If he's not on call, he's gonna have time. Time for us. Time for himself. Time for Mom. At least that's what I'm hopin' for."

"So," Cory said earnestly, "Let's debrief."

Shawn gave him a puzzled look. "I thought that's what we're doin'."

"Yeah, but nobody said it so it's not official. Anyway," Cory went on. "I talked to my parents about the early days of Jon and Audrey's marriage."

"Get anythin' good?" Julia loved hearing stories about her parents, especially stories from before she was born.

"Eh, not really," Cory informed her, clearly disappointed. "I just got a really, really long story from Mom about the best love story ever. Apparently, she thinks the whole clandestine marriage thing was really romantic. She went on about it so much that I think Dad was a little offended that their love story didn't rank as high with her."

"Anythin' else?" Shawn asked, a bit disheartened that they had nothing to work with so far.

"I got chewed out for not telling them you're home."

"Oh, yeah. I probably should have called them myself. Well, I haven't had a chance to talk to Mom yet, so I can't add anythin'."

"I don't get it," Julia said, rubbing her nose. "I thought you were there when they got married, Shawn?"

"Uh-huh," he said. "Dad didn't take me the second time to see Mom. So I wasn't with him when they got married."

"Why?"

Shawn shifted uncomfortably. He really disliked thinking about that time. But he felt he owed it to his sister to tell her the truth. "Well, Dad and I had a really hard time together after Mom got sent back to New York. So when my bio dad came back, I sorta chose to go with him. Dad and I went to see Mom as soon as school was out, but she said no to us then. My da-." For a moment Shawn was deeply conflicted over who to assign to title of "Dad" to. He felt a deep loyalty to the man who chose to take him in. But in calling him Dad he felt he was being deeply disloyal to the man with whom he shared DNA. "My bio dad and I went travelin' that summer, so I wasn't around when he went back to see Mom."

Julia frowned and glanced between her brother and uncle. "What do you mean Mom got sent back to New York? Who sent her back? Why?"

Shawn and Cory exchanged "uh-oh" looks.

"Well," Shawn began not sure how much he should tell her. "Mr. Feeny did."

Julia looked bewilderingly at Cory. "But why would he do that? I've always thought he liked her."

"He does," Cory assured her.

"Jules," Shawn was unsure of what to say because he didn't know how much she knew. "Did you know that Mom had an eatin' disorder when she was at Julliard?"

She nodded. "Yeah, she told me all about that."

"Well, she relapsed while she was student teachin'. Dad and I covered for her while she got treatment so she could stay with us. When Mr. Feeny was told about it, he sent her back. He kinda had to."

"Who told?"

Neither Shawn nor Cory could look her in the eyes, but there was something in her brother's expression that gave away the answer.

"It was her wasn't it?"

Shawn looked up and frowned.

"It was Miss Tompkins. That's why you can't stand her."

"Yeah," Shawn confirmed quietly. "I'm still havin' trouble letting that one go. She really ruined things for me and Dad. My life would have been so different if she had left Dad alone and minded her own business."

Julia sat back in stunned silence, letting this new information sink in. As tempting as it was to commiserate with his sister over the matter, Shawn knew they had to focus on the task at hand.

"Listen," He turned his attention to his best friend. "I need help comin' up with a good story to sell NYC Lifestyle on following' a superintendent around for a week."

It was nearly twenty minutes later when they finished up Shawn's pitch to the lifestyle blog and Cory's phone rang. It was Topanga wanting to know how close he was to coming home.

"We've got to get goin', too," Shawn mouthed to Cory.

Cory told Topanga he was on his way and would see her soon. As the trio reached the doors of the library, Cory stopped abruptly and turned to his companions.

"You know we're just getting one side of the story here, right?"

Shawn and Julia gave him blank looks.

"We don't know what's going on on Miss Tompkins' end," he expounded.

"I think we can guess," Julia muttered.

"Yeah, but we don't know for sure."

Shawn thought about this. "No, we don't."

"We could use an insider," Cory gave Shawn a meaningful look.

"A mole," Shawn replied catching on.

"A covert operator."

"A spy."

The men turned their gazes onto Julia. She stared back in confusion, then a dark realization of what they wanted struck her.

"Oh, no! Forget it!" she said fiercely. She shook her head so hard, her curls flew out in the clouds around her. "Not gonna happen. No way!"

"It's for the greater good, Jules," her brother insisted.

"No!"

"We're not saying you have to marry the kid," Cory assured her.

"Or even date him," Shawn added. "Just meet him and strike up a friendship."

Julia glared at her brother and uncle.

"I do not want to go out with Miss Tompkin's son."

"Juuuules...think about Mom and Dad," Shawn said, putting and arm around her and pulling her close. "Think about what Miss Tompkins did to them."

Julia folded her arms across her chest and darkened her glare.

"Fine!" She pouted unhappily. "But you owe me big. You both do!"

The men congratulated her on taking one for the team, but the teen was already plotting how they were going to repay her. As the group exited the building, Julia's phone pinged with a notification.

"Hey," she said, stopping to lean against one of the lions. Her attitude lightened considerably. "DeAndre just texted me back. He said he can totally you build you the app you want."

"Great," Shawn grinned.

"Hold that thought," she said, holding her phone out to Shawn. "Here's his quote."

Shawn jaw dropped. The number was in the triple digits, getting a little too close to quad numbers. "Holy cow! That kid's expensive!"

"He's gonna want half of the payment upfront. And you'll have to meet him and sign a contract."

He stared at her. How old was this kid exactly? Fifteen going on thirty?

Ever the teacher, Cory grinned appreciatively. "Expensive and thorough. Now there's a kid who's going places."

Sunday was an unusual day. The whole family stayed in. No church. No walk in the Park. No eating out. Just everyone doing their own thing. Under ordinary circumstances this would be a part of the normal ebb and flow of family life. However, the circumstances were not ordinary. At one point, Shawn and Julia slipped out long enough to meet with DeAndre. As Julia told him, the teenager did indeed have paperwork that he required Shawn to sign and Julia to co-sign. When Shawn remarked at the level of detail in the contract, DeAndre proudly informed Shawn that he had taught himself business law online.

Watch out, Elon Musk!

With the deal done and partial payment made, Shawn and Julia parted ways with DeAndre and headed back inside just in time for Jon to say goodbye to them.

"What?!" Shawn and Julia exclaimed simultaneously.

"I've got a volatile situation with a parent that the school principal hasn't been able to handle," he informed them sourly, shutting down any chance of protest. "I have to go."

Julia went ahead and protested anyway, knowing full well she was flirting with a grounding. With Shawn around and her dad not, it would be like there was no punishment so what did it matter?

Shawn slipped in front of Jon while he was distracted, blocking his exit. Directly behind his father was Audrey. She stood in the doorway watching quietly.

Quiet.

That was the word that accurately described Audrey the entirety of the weekend. Quiet and Audrey were a dangerous combination. The quieter she was the more upset she was. And she was becoming increasingly quieter, hardly speaking to anyone, including the children.

"You don't have to go. It could wait until Monday."

The sharpness in her voice drew Jon's attention and he scowled at her. Between Julia's complaints, the constant phone calls demanding he fix an unfixable situation, and now his wife voicing her displeasure with him, he was at a breaking point.

"No, it can't!" Though the words were few, they were so sharp, so bitter, that they caused everyone in the room including Grayson and Jamie to stop and stare uncertainly at him.

Audrey's eyes fell to the floor. Without a word, she turned and left the room. Shawn could see the hurt on her face and the tears that were in her eyes. There was an awkward moment of silence. Then Jon turned and stormed out. Shawn jumped out of his way and grabbed Julia.

"Go with him," he told her. "Say whatever you have to say to get him to take you with him."

She nodded and obeyed, sprinting after their father. Shawn looked at the doorway where Audrey had been standing, then at the boys. Jamie had gone back to playing with his Legos almost too quietly, but Grayson was staring at him with wide, worried eyes, looking very lost. Of the five of them, Grayson was by far the most sensitive and the most reserved.

"It's okay, G," Shawn told him, but the ten-year-old was not convinced. He knelt in front of his little brother and put his hand on his shoulder. "I promise."

It a rare display of emotion typically reserved for his mother when they were alone, Grayson grabbed onto Shawn and hugged him close.

"Dad! Daddy!"

Julia just barely made into the garage before her father reached the car. He stopped to look at her and she barreled into him, grabbing on, and holding tightly to him.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry."

At her distress, Jon melted. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "I'm sorry, too, Jules," he said into her hair.

"I wanna go with you."

He almost said yes. He wanted to say yes. "Not this time, princess," he said regretfully. He really did enjoy having her around, especially at the office. She reminded him so much of her mother. "This isn't the kind of thing you need to be around."

"Then I'll sit outside with," Julia swallowed the bitter taste that arose with the name she was about to say, "Miss Tompkins and wait for you."

"Nope, sorry."

"Fine." Julia hugged him tightly then let him go. He smiled sadly at her. The moment he turned away, she raced to the passenger side of the SUV and jumped in.

Jon didn't have time or energy to get her out of the vehicle. In truth, he was just a bit relieved that she was with him.

There were exceedingly rare moments in Shawn's life where everything lined up just the way it was supposed to and there was nothing he could do to mess it up. Such moments caused him considerable anxiety and he was thankful that they very rarely occurred. As it turned out, his new job was one of those moments.

The sales pitch that he, Cory, and Julia had come up with was grand and verbose. And lacking substance. Or at least that's what Shawn thought. The NYC Lifestyle blog really wasn't the kind of blog that cared about New York City Public Schools and their staff. Shawn was convinced they'd call his bluff about this being a great a story. However, once they found out where this particular superintendent lived and his connection to Shawn, they were more than interested. With that worry off his mind, he turned his attention to Audrey, who he had not seen since Jon left.

Shawn found her putting laundry away in Grayson and Jamie's room. She said nothing when she saw him, only giving him a small smile and fond pat on the cheek. She looked tired and distressed. Shawn was at a loss. He really didn't know what to do or say to help her. Worse yet was that he didn't think there was anything to be said or done that could alleviate the stress she was under.

"Hey, Mama," was all that he could manage. And it seemed woefully inadequate.

Audrey stopped what she was doing and studied his worried countenance for a moment. Then, taking his face between her small palms, she put her forehead against his and smiled warmly at him. He hugged her closely. It seemed that all he could do lately was hug his family. He felt Audrey draw in a deep shaky, breath as though she might start to cry. As she did, she pulled back from, squeezed his arm, and signed, "I love you," like she used to when he was a kid. He returned the sign. Audrey gathered the empty laundry basket and left the room.

She never once said a word.

Shawn was still in a saturnine, hug-your-family-before-you-lose-them mood two hours later. Jamie and Bella were most definitely not and did not appreciate their brother's affection very much; they had other things to do. Audrey, who was starting dinner, did not want help so Shawn found himself back in his room, waiting. But for what he wasn't sure. For Jon to get back? For Julia to bring some sort of news? He didn't have too much time to think as the door to his room was suddenly thrown open and shut again very quietly.

Julia stood inside his room, leaning against the door, shaking. She was incredibly upset, yet disturbingly quiet.

"What?"

She said nothing. She only stared at him with large stormy eyes.

"Julia? Hey! What's wrong?" Her lack of response was sending his anxiety soaring.

Finally, she managed to get out, "She sent me home."

"What? Who?"

"Her," Julia spat.

There was one her they knew that deserved that kind of ire.

"Miss Tompkins?"

Julia looked at Shawn as though she was still trying to come to grips with what had just happened to her. "She. Sent. Me. Home."

"Whoa," Shawn said, his mind reeling. "Start at the beginnin' and tell me what happened."

Immediately, Julia began to pace his room.

"So this parent situation Dad had to deal with was pretty ugly. But at least he seemed like Dad again when he went into the meetin'. I stayed in the outer office with her. The meetin' went on forever. I don't know what the deal was, but the mom couldn't get Dad to do what she wanted, and he finally kicked her out, like a security escort out of the buildin'. The mom was a total psycho!" She paused and bit her lip. "After it was over, Dad just kinda collapsed in his chair. It's like that whole thing drained any energy he had left." She stopped talking, but continued to pace, twisting a lock of hair into a tight knot around her finger.

"Okay," Shawn urged her to go on. "So how'd Miss Tompkins end up sendin' you home?"

"First she tried to get me kicked out of his office because she wanted to talk to him privately," she responded making a face. "But he wouldn't do it. The private talk she wanted to have was convincin' him to go to dinner with her."

Shawn frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose between the thumb and forefinger of his right head. This was not good. "So now the meetin's over. Dad goes home and you go with him. Where's Dad now?"

"At dinner with her."

"What!?" Shawn jumped up from his seat, furious. Although, he was uncertain who he was angrier with Jon or Miss Tompkins. "How did you let that happen?"

"I didn't let it happen!" Julia snapped back defensively. "I'm only fifteen. There's only so much I can do!"

"Okay. Okay. Sorry." Now Shawn was pacing. "How did he respond to the dinner thing? Did he seem like he was really into it?"

Julia sighed. "He seemed like he had no idea what he was actually agreein' to."

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Tompkins kept talkin' about dinner and how he needs to eat, they needed to do the budget report, blah, blah, blah. It's almost like her talkin' was giving him a headache, so he just agreed to make her stop."

That Shawn could understand. In the single meeting he'd had with the woman, she talked way too much for his liking. "How'd you get sent home, though?"

"Because when I suggested a place to go, she got really, like, stern and told me I couldn't go because I had school tomorrow, like she's my mom or somethin'."

"Dad was cool with that?"

"Not really. He did agree with her. But then I told him all my school was done so he agreed with me and said I could go. Then she said I shouldn't be out late on school night, so he agreed with her. I pointed out that it's not even six yet, so then he was on my side again. She kept comin' up with reasons I couldn't go, and I kept comin' reasons why her reasons were dumb. But it was like Dad couldn't decide on who was right," Julia paused looking suddenly guilty. "I think I messed up when I told her she wasn't my mother."

"Why?"

"Because it made her really mad. She said I was being disrespectful to her just like my brother and Dad should do somethin' about it. Like which brother even? I have three."

Shawn, however, knew exactly which brother the woman meant. He suppressed a growl of anger.

"I dunno, Shawn." Julia continued to twist and untwist her hair. "Dad just seemed so out of it. Like he couldn't make the decision on whether I should stay or go, so she made the decision for him. He seemed so upset by the noise we were makin', that I kinda just shut up." Her shoulders drooped and she looked defeated. "I guess it is my fault that he's with her."

"No, it's not, Jules," Shawn assured her adamantly, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Do you know where they went?"

"I'm not sure. She hated my suggestion."

"What was that?"

"Topanga's."

"Ah."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

"Dad told me to tell Mom that he wasn't gonna be home for dinner." Her eyes were a maelstrom of unshed tears. "Shawn, I don't want to tell her. But I can't lie to her either."

It only took Shawn a moment to come up with a plan "Yeah. Look, Mom just started dinner a little while ago. See if she'll let you help her and tell her I'm meetin' up with Dad and that we may be late."

Julia looked at him hopelessly. "How are you gonna find out where they went?"

"Don't worry about that. I'll find him, Jules. You take care of Mom."

Julia nodded uncertainly, not sure she could go down and face her mother. She wasn't sure she could pretend nothing was wrong.

"Julia," Shawn called to her as she started down the hallway.

She looked back at him sadly.

"I'll bring him home."

Chapter Text

Claudette was a fairly new restaurant in the center of Greenwich Village. It was a cozy, romantic bistro inclined to the food, wine, and spirit of Provence. At almost 6, the restaurant was beginning to fill up, giving the place a warm buzz from the people and their conversation.

Jon scowled at the print on the fancy, decorative paper in his hand. He hated French food. He found that out in his early 20s when he went backpacking through Europe and spent three very long weeks in Paris. The misery of that leg of his journey was largely due to the fact that he could never acquire a taste for French food.

Katherine was oblivious to his displeasure as she leaned over the table unnecessarily to ask, "Have you decided on what you want, Jon?"

His scowl deepened. "Tell me again why couldn't we go to Topanga's?"

"Oh, come on, Jon," she sat back with an exasperated sigh. Sometimes, she thought he was far too attached to his former students and should put much more distance between himself and them. "Topanga's is so... so quaint. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute and all, but it just doesn't have any at atmosphere. It's pretty much a kid's hangout."

The page of his menu flipped forcefully against the cover. "It's not quaint," he grumbled. "It's great. We don't need atmosphere to work on the budget report. There isn't enough light or room to work. Why are we here?"

She bit back another sigh. He was getting agitated, and she didn't want to accidentally provoke him further. "Because you need to get away from work for a while."

Jon rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Great. Are you gonna start on me about that, too?"

Although she wondered who he might be referring to as she was convinced it was not someone from his own family who cared enough, she ignored the comment. "Jon, I'm just worried about you. There's been a huge change in you over the last eight months and I'm very concerned," she told him with genuine care. "You're exhausted all the time. You have so much on your shoulders that you won't let anyone help you with it. Then you have to go home to all those kids..."

"I'll have help next week," he said abruptly, still glaring at the menu.

Katherine looked surprised, especially since he said this as though he didn't already have help, namely her.

"What do you mean?"

"Shawn's going to be with me all week."

"You're kidding?"

At the tone in her voice, he looked up and frowned. "No. He texted me while we were still at the office. He's going to be doing a piece on me for his job."

That was about the worst thing Jon could have said to her. Having Shawn Hunter tagging along for an entire week shifted her mood considerably and a dark cloud fell over her. "Just great," she muttered.

"What?" Her boss was frowning at her.

"Nothing," she said brightly, pointing to the menu. "Just trying to decide."

"Oh."

Their waiter arrived to take their order and Jon was no more in the mood to eat than he was when they first arrived, so Katherine ordered for them: gnocchi Parisienne, lamb kefta, oysters, and a chinon blanc. Jon thought the wine was excessive but said nothing. He just hoped she was hungry because he had no intention of eating anything other than the bread.

After ordering, Katherine, eager to have a real conversation with Jon and finally get some answers to her questions, closed the folder with the budget report in it and pushed it to the side. "So, when did you adopt Shawn?"

Mildly irritated there would be no work getting done, he replied, "What makes you think I adopted him?"

"He calls you Dad, doesn't he? If you didn't adopt him, why would he call you that?"

Jon looked pleased. He couldn't recall actually hearing Shawn call him "dad", but perhaps he had been so busy lately that he just hadn't noticed. He suddenly felt guilty about his earlier jealousy over Shawn referring to Audrey as "mom".

He shrugged. "We never made it official. But he's always been a part of the family. He's always had a room at the house. I've always considered him my kid."

"Always?" Katherine couldn't hide her disbelief. "Even back then?"

His brow furrowed at her reaction. "Yeah, I did. I had the paperwork already to go. It...it just didn't work out."

"Why not?"

For the first time all day he looked directly at her. There was a hard look in his eyes and a sharp edge when he spoke. "You really wanna go there?"

Katherine bit her bottom lip and shook her head slightly. "I'm just surprised that you considered him to be your son back then is all."

"Why is that so shocking?"

"I don't know." She was about to wade into waters they had not been in in two decades. It was a dangerous thing for her to do, yet she couldn't help herself. She needed answers to the questions that had long plagued her. "You just seemed to be so desperate to avoid any kind of real commitment and it seemed so convenient that Shawn just happened to need a place to stay. I mean, it really worked out in your favor."

There probably was no positive way to phrase what she was saying, Jon most certainly took exception to the way she said it. "Let me get this straight: you thought the reason I took Shawn in was so I'd have an excuse not to commit. So I could say I can't go out tonight because of the kid. Sorry you can't move in because of the kid. Is that about right?"

It sounded awful when he said it, but that was what she was saying. The nod she gave him was barely perceptible.

Jon was stunned. "I had no idea that you thought I was such a jerk that I'd use a kid like that."

Now that was not a thought that had ever occurred to her. She did not want him to think for a moment that she ever thought so poorly of him. "I didn't think that at all, Jonny!"

Immediately, she heard her slip. He visibly recoiled at the old nickname that was reserved only for those closest to him. "Jon," she corrected herself quickly, before he would start to insist on her calling him Mr. Turner outside of the office, too. "I just thought you were being nice, and it gave you an excuse not to deal with me."

"Nice?" he scoffed, clearly offended. "Taking in a stray dog is nice. Shawn was a good kid in a really bad situation through no fault of his own. I was in a position to help him, and I did. I also happened to really like him. Unlike a lot of the adults in his life who couldn't be bothered to get to know him."

"Look," she said softly, trying to regain control of the conversation and steer it back into neutral territory. She should have known that when the topic was Shawn Hunter there was no such thing. "I just figured if you didn't want to get married you wouldn't want to be a father either. The whole thing with Shawn just really surprised me, that's all."

Jon was not convinced. He well remembered their conversations back then and how they would often end in an argument over one of two things: Shawn or marriage. "What are you really gettin' at?"

"I'm not getting at anything," Katherine paused. That wasn't entirely true, she just didn't know how to ask, so she finally just blurted out, "I just...I've always been curious as to why you chose Shawn over me."

Jon sat back and stared at her for a moment. How long had it been since they last spoke of anything outside of work? Years? And yet it was still the same old conversation. Back then, he'd always shied away from voicing his thoughts fully in order to avoid the unpleasantness and keep whatever peace he could between them. But it was no longer 1995 and she no longer had sway over him. "I didn't know what all I was getting into with Shawn because he has a lot of issues to work though, which you would have known about had you ever bothered to ask or to listen to me when I tried to tell you. I didn't know what I was doing. The only experience I had with kids was in the classroom. I needed support. That was all I ever asked of anyone. But very few people gave me that."

"I did!" she countered passionately.

"No, you didn't," he retorted in irritation. "You never wanted to hear about Shawn, much less help me with him. There was only one person who supported me fully."

Katherine bowed her head so he wouldn't see her reaction to the name. He would have to go and bring her up. "Audrey," she spat the name out as she looked back up at him.

"Yeah, Audrey. The youngest one there and she was more reliable than anyone else. No one understood that then. I don't think anyone cared to."

"And, of course, Shawn adored her," she replied bitterly as though Audrey had deviously turned Shawn against the secretary.

"You know why he adored her? Because she paid attention to him; she included him. You never showed the slightest bit of interest in him. And he picked up on it real quick."

Jon was teetering on anger and shutting down on her she knew. Katherine sat quietly, trying to figure out how to regain control of the night before it was wasted completely. This wasn't the way she wanted things to go. When she went over this in her head, things went far more civilly.

"You know," Jon said thoughtfully, dropping his voice low. "There is one thing I've always been curious about."

"What's that?" The change in his tone made her look up, hopeful that the conversation would improve.

"If I had given in and we got married- what about Shawn? Would you have made me choose between you two? Would you have made me re-home him?"

"That's not fair!" she exclaimed, annoyed with him for the first time.

Fairness was not something Jon was terribly concerned with at the moment. "Well?"

"He would have been an adult in a few years," she murmured after a long moment. "I would have managed."

"Oh, so I'd have had to kick him out a minute after he turned eighteen. Oh, man if only I'd had known that then we could've gotten married," he quipped sarcastically, picking up his water glass and giving the liquid a swirl.

There was a part of Katherine that wanted very badly to snark back at him, but she refrained from doing so. If she did, she would only prove to him that she was the same insecure person she had been back then. That was not the image she wanted to project so instead she said, "Jon, I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to start a fight. I just need closure, I guess. As ridiculous as that may sound to you because you've been married so long with all those kids and Shawn..."

"Shawn is one of all those kids," he corrected her brusquely.

The adage was true after all: the more things changed, the more they remained the same. Shawn Hunter, although it had been two decades and he wasn't even there, was still a wedge between them making even polite conversation difficult.

"Right," she said humbly. "I was just so hurt by your unwillingness to commit to me but you did so easily with Shawn who was much more difficult than I was. I've just never understood it."

That, Jon thought, was a matter of opinion. And it was not one he shared with her. "You know, Kat, the problem was, it was always about you and what you wanted. You walked out on me remember? How could I possibly commit to someone who was unwilling to support me when I needed it the most?"

….0o0o0...

Shawn tossed the deck of Uno cards haphazardly onto the top shelf of the closet and dashed back over to where Audrey was on the couch. It was nearly midnight and Jon was still out on his date with her. The thought soured Shawn's mood and he grumpily slouched down onto the couch.

Audrey regarded him with a sideways glance. "You look just like Jon when he gets back from his dates. But you haven't left the house so what's your problem?"

Shawn wrinkled his nose in annoyance even though he was pleased with the comparison. "He's still out and it's almost midnight."

"He'll be back soon," she assured him. His expression didn't change so she leaned over and said conspiratorially, "And if he's not, I'm taking his bed and he can sleep on the couch when he gets in."

The idea made Shawn smile and he jumped up. "I'll go get him a pillow and a blanket."

Audrey laughed. "You need to get to bed yourself, Shawn."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes," she responded firmly.

"There's no school tomorrow," he whined. "It's a holiday."

"I don't care," she replied, motioning towards the bathroom. "You and Jon are both so cranky when you don't get enough sleep. Go get ready for bed."

Ten minutes later Shawn made it back to the living room. Audrey was waiting to point him in the direction of his bedroom.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Kinda."

She folded her arms across her waist. "Go brush."

He walked up to her until he was nose to nose with her. Squinting his eyes, he regarded her steadily. She stared back at him with the same intensity. While he had every intention of doing what she told him he couldn't make it that easy on her. "What are you, my mom?" he challenged.

"Well, I'm not your babysitter," she shot back, wrinkling her nose at him.

"Oh no?"

"No. Babysitters get paid to watch other people's kids."

"And moms?"

"Get nothin' to watch their own kids."

A smile was starting to crack his serious façade. "Which are you?"

"Well," she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I'm not getting paid to watch someone else's kid, am I?"

The grin broke fully through. "Okay, Mama, I'll brush my teeth for real this time." He kissed her cheek.

"Ug!" Audrey yelped, getting the full aroma of minty toothpaste and something pungent. "Use mouthwash, too! What have you been eating?"

Shawn shrugged. "Pickle potato chips."

"The whole bag?"

"Nah, there's a couple chips left."

"Go brush your teeth!" She shooed him away and turned to the kitchen, no doubt to retrieve and throw away the empty bag of chips that was stashed somewhere in the cabinets.

After he came back and checked with Audrey to make sure his teeth were cleaned to her expectations, Shawn asked, "Can I at least stay up until Jon gets back?"

"No," she told him, picking up the TV Guide. "I am not dealing with two cranky people on my day off. So unless you don't want me to come back over later..."

Shawn shot up from the couch and jumped over its back. "Goodnight!"

Audrey couldn't help but giggle. She got up and pulled Shawn into a big hug, almost pulling him over the couch's back. "Goodnight. I love you."

It was very rare that Shawn ever heard that phrase from anyone. When he did there always felt like there was a condition attached to the affection. But it was different when Audrey said it. When Audrey said it he knew she meant it, no strings attached.

"I love you, too, Aud."

The apartment was still for only a few minutes after Shawn went to his room before its front door suddenly opened and shut. This used to make Audrey jump when she first started watching Shawn while Jon was out, but it was becoming such a routine occurrence now that she hardly noticed anymore. Jon, as usual, looked unhappy. Audrey quietly watched as he took off his jacket and tossed it carelessly at the couch. She caught it before it could slide off onto the floor. With the jacket secure, Audrey shifted her position on the couch, so she was facing the kitchen. Resting an arm on the back of the sofa, she pulled her legs up underneath her and waited. After a few minutes of frustrated fussing in the kitchen, Jon joined her, slumping down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"How'd things go with Shawn?" His eyes were closed, and he was scowling.

"Good. He hasn't been in bed long. He's probably listening at his door."

Jon turned his head slightly and raised his voice in the direction of the boy's room. "Goodnight, Shawn."

"G'night...dang!"

"Go to bed, Hunter!"

"Fine."

Jon shook his head, but he was smiling. He knew that Shawn had not gone back to bed and would probably fall asleep, drooling against the door frame. Again. He leaned his head back and sunk down into the couch until his head and neck rested on the back of the sofa. He put his feet up on the coffee table and groaned.

Audrey put her hand on his forehead. "Sounds like you had another fun outing tonight."

"Oh, it was just great," he responded sardonically. "Same as usual. The exact same thing. Everything was going fine, just fine. Good even. And that's when I know that it's gonna come up; it's only a matter of when. You know she's gotten into this thing of bringing it up in public. And not in public away from people, but when we're surrounded by people. It's awful. Why would she do that?"

"How do you feel when she does?" Audrey asked, taking her hand away from him and resting her fist against her cheek.

"Humiliated and trapped," he sighed sounding defeated.

"I think you have your answer then."

Jon turned his head to look at her with an inquiring gaze.

"Doing something like that in public is supposed to humiliate you so you'll go along with whatever she wants to avoid the public's judgment," she told him seriously. "Manipulation 101."

"Is this a class you can sign up for?"

"Not that I know of," Audrey shook her head. "It's taught to daughters by their mothers and other female influences. And it is almost always for the purpose of using men."

As outrageous as it sounded, Jon considered this. He then gave her a worried glance. "Did your mother teach you?"

"My mother taught me what it was and that it was wrong and would've have beat my butt if she caught me doing it."

Although he only knew the woman through photographs, the thought of her picture-perfect mother being anything other than picture perfect amused him. "I think I would have liked your mom a lot."

Audrey smiled as she absently ran her fingers through his hair. Finally, she asked what had been on her mind for quite some time. "Why are you still going out with her?"

"I dunno." He rested his arm on her knees. "At this point, I honestly don't know. I can't stand the pressure to get married, but I also can't stand the tears. I just wish she'd back off. Let me figure out how things are going to go with Shawn. I've asked her and I've pleaded with her to stop. But she just won't do it."

Audrey was quiet for quite a while, thinking. Her fingers were still entwined in his hair. "I don't have much experience when it comes to dating," she paused and corrected herself. "Actually, I don't have any, but it doesn't sound to me like Katherine really loves you."

"It doesn't?" It had occurred to Jon that, at the very least, he and Katherine had very different ideas of what love was.

She pursed her lips together, carefully gathering her words. "Every time you come home, you're in a bad mood, unhappy, frustrated. You shouldn't be like that. From what you've told me it sounds like your entire relationship revolves around her and what she wants and making her happy."

Jon closed his eyes again. "Seems like that to me, too."

"When you plan a date, do you ever do what you want to do?"

"Rarely," he harrumphed. "And not without great protest."

Audrey pulled her fingers out of his curls, much to his dismay. "If you could do whatever you wanted on a date, what would you do?"

He knew the answer to this, but he held back on responding. Would she react the same way as Katherine if he told her honestly what he wanted to do? No, of course not. This was Audrey he was talking to after all. "It's been a long time since I've bothered to think about that. I dunno. It'd be nice to go to a football or hockey game every once in a while. I mean, I know a lot of women hate sports and think it's stupid. But I kinda like to go and forget about everything else for a while. I mean we wouldn't have to go to a game all the time. It wouldn't even have to be once a month. Just, you know, occasionally."

Audrey raised her eyebrows and regarded him with sympathy. "Why are you being so defensive? You don't have to explain yourself. If that's what you want to do that's what you want to do."

He let out a sigh of relief. "I guess I feel like I have to."

"Why?"

"Because Kat gets upset when I suggest stuff that I like because she doesn't like it. And I don't like doing a lot of the stuff she likes. I don't enjoy most theater or performance art" He shot Audrey a worried look. "No offense, but I don't enjoy the ballet, either."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" Audrey gasped at him in mock horror and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "So you were just pretending to be happy to see me perform last weekend in my first dance recital in three years?"

"No, no," he laughed, blocking her punches with his palm. "Shawn and I really did enjoy that. But it's because we knew you. Every other ballet all the dancers look the same. I don't know what's going on and I don't care."

"But you like my recital. So did you like that story it told?"

"There was a story?" He looked bewildered.

She lightly smacked his arm. "What did you think of the other dancers then?"

"There were other dancers!?"

She punched his shoulder again and laughed along with him. "Okay, fine," she said pretending to be put out. "You don't like ballet. What else?"

"I really don't like doing most of the stuff Kat does, but I have to do it anyway. And with the right attitude or she's mad. If we ever do what I wanna do, which is almost never, she makes me feel like a jerk for wanting to do something she doesn't like and has a lousy attitude the whole time. It makes me wish we'd just done what she wanted to do."

Absently, Audrey smoothed the collar of his sweater. "Jon," she said seriously. "Can you be yourself around her?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"No, not fully. Not if I want to keep her happy." There were plenty of areas of his personality that he put a lid on or tried to remember to change because, according to his girlfriend, those were his problem areas. It wasn't that Jon thought he had no flaws, he knew he did, but it seemed overkill to him to expect a person's entire way of doing things and aspects of their personality to change according to another person's dictates. This was a one-way street, naturally. He was the only one in the relationship that needed to change.

"Are you seriously considering marrying someone you can only sort of be yourself around?"

He shrugged. "I guess that's why I'm fighting the whole commitment thing so hard."

"You know," Audrey said softly. "My mom often did things my dad loved to do that she didn't like. He loved to golf. She hated it. But she loved him and loved being around him. So she would go. Not all the time. But she would go and watch him do what he loved and try to participate. My mom, on the other hand, loved ballet. My dad did not."

"Are you kiddin'?" This came as a surprise to Jon considering Audrey's level of involvement in dance for most of her life. Her father, as she told it, was her biggest supporter and was a near constant presence in her dance life.

"No, he really hated it," she laughed fondly at the memory of happier times in her family's life. "But he loved my mom, and he loved me. So he would go. Because he loved her and seeing her happy. You know," she said thoughtfully. "If my parents had had the type of relationship, you and Katherine have, I think my dad would have been relieved when she died, not devastated.

My parents' marriage was far from perfect. They had their issues, more than I was aware of at the time because I was so young. But they also had a deep love and mutual respect for one another. I don't see that in your relationship with Katherine. I don't think Katherine loves you. I think she loves the idea of marriage and kids and the life she wants. And you happen to be the one who checks all of her boxes."

Jon was quiet for a long time as he thought about what she had said. Unlike Katherine, she didn't require him to keep talking. They sat in comfortable silence while Audrey resumed massaging his scalp. He had often wondered if Katherine really did love him for the very reasons Audrey stated or if there was something wrong with him for not being able to align with her life. These thoughts weren't ones he felt he could ever voice to Katherine. When the conflict between them first arose, he tried to but was immediately labeled a misogynist and a selfish man. However, it was the 90s, the rules had changed, and what did he really know about women and relationships anyway? Yet it was Audrey who brought this up, not him, so maybe he wasn't as far off base as he worried he was. He felt a sense of validation and a confidence to put an end to the marriage discussion permanently.

As he sat there lost in thought, he could feel Audrey's fingertips slipping through his hair as he began relaxing fully. Drowsiness settled over his eyes. He moved closer to her although there was already no room between them and rested his head against her shoulder. If only she wasn't so young. If only she wasn't his student teacher. If only... Her hair fell around his shoulder like a curtain. He fell asleep fully content and at peace. When he awoke hours later, he found himself lying on the couch, a pillow under his head and a blanket over him.

Audrey was gone and the contentment and peace had gone with her.

….0o0o0...

"I would have eventually," Katherine said, snapping Jon back to the present. "Shawn was a difficult kid for me to understand and deal with. I just needed time."

"I didn't have time," he retorted sharply. "And neither did Shawn. As young as she was Audrey was more mature than you were. I couldn't deal with drama from the one person who was supposed to be my partner and help me." It seemed to him that Katherine had spent a significant amount of time rehashing their past over the years. Jon could not say that he ever revisited that particular time in his life unless it was directly related to Audrey or Shawn. Even then there were parts he simply chose not to think about. But if Katherine was determined to relive this part of their lives, he saw no reason to sugarcoat it. While she might look back at their former relationship with a rosy-colored view, he most definitely did not.

"Everything fell apart after Audrey was sent back," he told her coldly.

A bright flush colored her cheeks as she realized where he was taking the conversation. Katherine wanted to stop him as this was the one area of the past she did not want to acknowledge, but she remained quiet as she did not want to make him more upset than he already was.

"You want closure," he snorted derisively. "Shawn and I didn't get any. We didn't even get to say goodbye to her. You know, Mr. Feeny wasn't going to do anything but send her back for full treatment. He was going to bring her back the next school year as a teacher if her doctors cleared her. But someone just had to take it to the board. Do you know I almost lost my job because of that? No contact with Audrey for a year. It ruined everything. Shawn and I never recovered from that. It didn't matter that I was able to get Audrey back, the damage was done, and I lost Shawn!"

Jon waited until the waiter had served before he continued still incredibly aggravated with the woman across from him. "I've only just gotten him back. And if you think for a minute, I'm going to tell him he can't come with me this week because it makes you uncomfortable, then take the week off because Shawn's gonna be there."

Katherine didn't know what to say. She truly had no idea what had happened after Audrey was removed from John Adams High. It had most certainly not been her intent to get him into trouble. It was a poor choice on her part to say anything to their principal and then to the school board, one that had nagged her relentlessly over the years; it weighed heavily on her conscience as her motivation had been one of pure selfishness and retaliation. It was no wonder Jon never spoke to her again after that. It explained why he wasn't happy to see that she had been hired as his secretary. As hard as it was to listen to him, it was necessary. She now knew what she needed to do. She had to win his forgiveness and his friendship. Anything beyond that she simply couldn't think about.

Shawn discovered very quickly that he had been far too confident in his ability to find Jon in a city as large as the one they lived in, especially when both of them wasn't answering any text messages. Even though Julia told him Katherine hated her suggestion of Topanga's for dinner that's exactly where he found himself simply because he didn't know where else to go. And Shawn really didn't want to be there. Had Topanga herself been in he would have just called her to find out if Jon was there. But Topanga was working on a difficult case for her law firm and had taken the week off. Katy was running the bakery in her absence.

Katy Hart was the reason Shawn stood outside of the business trying to see through the windows if his father was there so he wouldn't have to go inside and face her. However, he was beginning to draw some strange looks from passersby. Since he did not have time to be detained by police who would most likely not buy his "looking for my father" story, Shawn summoned up all of his courage and went inside.

He was noticed immediately.

Katy had been on the lookout for him everywhere she went since their first date. Nerves took over as she watched him enter her workplace. She finally approached him after she finished up with the customer she was with. His back was to her, and he seemed very tense. He also appeared to be looking for someone.

"Hey there, stranger," she greeted him gently, trying to remain casual. She reached out for the sleeve of his leather jacket. Shawn very nearly jumped out of his skin at her touch, and it was all she could do not to laugh.

Anything he thought of saying to her, to explain his absence and lack of communication fled him and Shawn found himself stupidly stammering out excuses. Katy kindly waited for him to finish, still struggling not to laugh. She found his torrent of words and his raw jitteriness endearing. It was comforting to know that she wasn't the only one who was a bundle of nerves.

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?" he answered cautiously.

"It's okay," she told him sincerely, very much wanting to put him at ease.

"It is?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Um," he stammered uncertainly. "Could you tell me what's okay, so I know that I'm thinking of the same thing that's okay as you are?"

Katy could hide the grin this time. "I know why you haven't been around."

He was clearly surprised. "You do?"

"Topanga told me," she answered. "She said you've decided to stay put and that you went back to your family. She said you've been getting to know them again."

Shawn felt like a heavy weight he didn't realize he'd been carrying had been lifted from his shoulders. He exhaled and stood up a little straighter. "Yeah, I am. I know I should have texted and all, but it's been so crazy."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Your folks have five soon to be six kids?"

"Right. And I've been gone so long..."

"Shawn," She gave him a warm, affectionate smile. "I'm really happy for you."

"Really?"

When Topanga told her about the details of Shawn's return to his family, Katy felt an overwhelming sense of relief to know that she'd finally fallen for a man who was intent on getting his priorities in order. That she had fallen for a man who was trying to rectify his past mistakes; one who was more committed to his family that to his love life. Topanga had warned her that this would be an unpredictable process, but Katy was prepared to wait it out and see what might happen. Besides, she knew Shawn's father and, if Shawn was anything like him, the wait would be worth it.

"Yeah. I've met your dad," she told him. "He's a really good guy."

"Yeah, he is," Shawn was surprised by this information and tried to recall if Jon had mentioned meeting Katy before, but he couldn't. "You've met him?"

"Yeah," she said sheepishly. "Your mom was a sub in Maya's art class a while ago and she kind of walked in on your dad kissing your mom one day after school, only Maya didn't know who he was. She sort of got him put on administrative leave for-"

"Using his position of authority to coerce a teacher into a romantic relationship," he finished, finally remembering Jon's recounting of his first meeting with Maya Hart. "He told me about that."

Katy grimaced, embarrassed. "Your dad was so gracious about that. Maya loved your mom and thought she was protecting her. Your parents invited me over for dinner after everything got sorted out. They were so good to us. But when Maya found out who Mr. Turner was to you, she was too embarrassed to go with me so she hid at Riley's." She laughed. "Your dad pretended not to know who she was the next time they met. I can't tell you how much it meant to her to be able to start over with him."

Shawn smiled broadly, then became serious. "You're really not upset that I haven't been in contact?"

"No. I get it," she said empathically. "I mean don't think I'm a pushover or anything, but this is a real good reason not to be in touch. Actually, it makes me think that finally I picked a good guy if his family is that important to him."

"They are," he assured her. In talking to her, he almost forgot why he was in Topanga's to begin with. He still had no idea where to find Jon. He studied the pretty woman in front of him for a moment. "Katy, when I said things are crazy it isn't just the kids."

"Oh?"

"Can we talk? I need some help."

"Yeah, sure." She led him over to a hidden booth in a corner of the restaurant.

"I'm looking for my dad," he said once they were seated.

Katy wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Huh?"

Shawn clasped his hands in front of him and leaned against the table. "Backstory: my dad's secretary is his ex-girlfriend who he was dating at the time he met my mom." This immediately piqued Katy's curiosity and as she listened to Shawn's story, she became more intrigued with his family. The more intrigued she became the more worried she became.

"I don't know where they could be," he ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "I just don't think that Dad would go too far from the office or home as tired as he is. I was hoping that they'd come here anyway since it's halfway between the two."

"Hmmm," Katy squinted her eyes and thought about Shawn's dilemma for a moment. As he had been talking, she was developing the character of Katherine Tompkins. If she was Katherine what would her motivation be, what would her actions be based on those motivations?

"Uh, Katy?"

"You've given me a role," she shushed him. "It'll just take a moment for me to slip into character."

It took Shawn a moment to figure out what she was talking about. When he did, he smiled. Katy was an aspiring actress and as such was always working on honing her craft whether she was in an actual acting class or simply at the cafe during a slow period.

"So my boss is the love of my life." She saw Shawn cringe at this, but she had to authentically play this part, so she pushed on. "I've taken this job because I want to be a part of his life again. He's a workaholic whose family life is suffering because of it. His young wife is pregnant again and his long-lost son has finally returned home."

Shawn couldn't hide his disdain for this description; however true it might be. It just made a bad situation sound like a terrible soap opera and that just made everything worse.

Katy went silent. She ran through the listing of all the nearby eateries within a four-block radius and what they were like. Then her eyes lit up. "Claudette," she announced, grinning triumphantly.

"Who's Claudette?"

"Not who, what. It's a quaint little French bistro that opened up last year. It's two blocks away from here."

Shawn hated to burst her bubble as she seemed so proud of herself, but he saw a major flaw with her conclusion. "My dad hates French food."

"Even better," she grinned.

That made no sense to him. "You've lost me."

"Well," she explained, leaning forward. The drama was exciting to her. "She isn't going to take him somewhere outright romantic or anything like that yet. So by taking him somewhere with food he doesn't care for it says two things. One she hasn't been paying close attention to his likes and dislikes and two it really is about work."

Shawn shook his head. "Still lost."

Katy tilted her head to the side, sending errant curls that had slipped out of her ponytail cascading over her shoulder and smiled at his cluelessness. "So Claudette can easily be a place to hang out with friends, have business lunches or dinners, or a romantic date night. So she gets him there under the pretense of work- it looks like the place for that- then the table is a little too small to spread out paperwork, the lightening is a little too dim to see the text any way, but you've already got the table so..." She held her hands out, palms up, with an expectant look.

"Okay, I found you again," Shawn said, finally understanding. "I better get over there then. Because if they're not there, then I'm back to square one."

Katy slid out of the booth and motioned for him to follow her. "At this time on a Sunday night that place is getting full," she said, looking back at him over her shoulder. "Since your dad doesn't sound like he'd have the patience to wait for a table, reservations would need to be made."

In the back of the bakery was a phone. Katy looked up the number for Claudette on her phone and dialed it on the business line. "What's the woman's name again?"

"Katherine Tompkins."

Katy gave the name to the receptionist. "No one? Okay. Well, then- Wait, is there a reservation under the name Jonathan Turner?"

She glanced at Shawn as a concerned look settled onto her features. "Okay, then. Thank you." Katy hung up the phone but was slow to face Shawn. There was a frown on her face when she finally looked at him. "There's a reservation under your dad's name."

"He didn't make it," Shawn said instantly. He felt panicked. "There's no way he would have. Absolutely no way."

Katy chewed on her bottom lip. "She could have easily made a reservation in his name." She gave him a look of earnest apology. "Either way it was planned, Shawn."

Shawn let his palms slap against his thighs in frustration. "I've gotta go, Katy. I wish I could make things up to you, but right now-"

"Don't worry about it, Shawn. Take care of your family."

"Thank you."

"Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

"Take your time with them." she told him. There wasn't time to go into the details of why that was so important to her, but she hoped that it came across to him anyway.

"I don't know how things are going to turn out," he warned her. There was a hint of sadness in his voice. "Or how long it could take."

"I'm not going anywhere," she shrugged with a small smile.

"Good." A frown crossed his face. "But what about Maya?"

"She's a minor. She can't go anywhere."

Shawn gave a short laugh. "Not what I meant."

"I know what you meant." It took everything in her not to kiss him right then for his concern about her daughter and his absence from her life. "She'll be fine. I'll make sure she understands how important what you're doing is. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks, Katy."

"Yeah. See you around, Hunter."

Shawn grinned feeling much warmer as he headed out into the cold unknown.

The temperature decided that night was a good night for dropping into the single digits without warning. Shawn did not appreciate this at all, especially when he had to stand in line waiting to get up to the door of Claudette just to inquire about certain guests inside. The line could not possibly move any slower than it was, and his impatience was growing by the moment. Every minute that passed was one more minute that she had alone with Jon and the thought of that made Shawn more frustrated with the queue. He considered jumping the line since it was not a table that he wanted, but he didn't want to risk a scene that might delay him more, so he opted to call the restaurant from his place in line.

It took several minutes for the phone to be answered. "This is Amelia at Claudette. How may I be of service?"

"My name's Shawn Hunter. I-"

"Shawn Hunter?" Amelia sounded confused.

"Um, yeah. Look I'm standing in line, but I need-"

"Shawn Hunter?"

"Right. Like I was saying I just need some-"

"Shawn Hunter?" Amelia seemed to have a strange fascination with saying his name.

"Uh, yeah. That's what it says on my driver's license." What on earth was this about? He never guessed he might need to verify his identity just to check on a reservation.

"What do you do for a living?"

At this, Shawn gave his phone a funny look and checked the number to make sure he had called the right place.

"I'm with NYC Lifestyle-"

"I knew it!" Amelia cried as though she had just guessed the right answer for a cash prize. "I knew it was you! Come in, come in. We'll have a table ready for you ASAP."

"But I don't want a-"

The beep of an ended phone buzzed in his ear. Shawn stood there dumbfounded for a moment not sure what to make of the bizarre conversation. He leaned out of line, wondering if he should go upfront and risk giving up his spot. A young brunette, Amelia he guessed, waved frantically at him from the front of the restaurant as an older man stood by her side with a skeptical look on his face. Shawn felt very weird about this, but it was imperative that he find Jon, so he took a deep breath, stepped out of line, and made his way to the door trying to ignore the disgruntled looks and mutterings of those who had been waiting before him.

Once inside the restaurant, it took him way too long to convince the receptionist and her manager that he did not want a table and only wanted to see if his father was still there. The manager confirmed that Jon was there and began to escort Shawn to his table. An entourage was the last thing Shawn wanted to accompany him over to the table, but he couldn't get them to leave him alone until he promised to mention them to the lifestyle blog about a possible feature. Finally, free of the unwanted attention, he turned his focus to the mission at hand. Standing off to the side of their table just out of sight of them both he watched while Katherine happily blathered on about nothing Shawn cared about. Jon was difficult to read. He seemed tired as he always did, absently stirring whatever it was he was eating and glancing at the files by his side which Shawn guessed was the budget report that wasn't getting done. He was engaged in the conversation with the secretary, but not overly so. He seemed neither happy nor upset, just weary.

Just the sight of them alone together was enough to make Shawn see red. If Katherine felt it was okay for her to always invite herself to Cory and Jon's lunches, she should have no problem with him showing up unannounced to dine with them. Shawn smirked. He couldn't wait to see the look on the secretary's face when she saw him, but he took a quick moment to text Cory a pic of the two at the table and let his best friend know what was about to go down. He knew Cory would take as much delight in this as he did.

Shawn approached them from Jon's right, and he allowed his inner fifteen years old to take over. Slipping into that rebellious, arrogant teenage persona was just like slipping into his familiar old leather jacket that had been with him since that age.

Katherine saw him first. Her mouth opened slightly and a look of surprise and something else reddened her face.

Shock? Awe? Anger? Shawn wondered amusedly. With all the irreverence he could manage, which was quite a lot, he grinned at her as he greeted Jon,

"Hey, Dad."

Jon turned and looked as surprised to see him as Katherine did, but unlike the secretary, he also looked relieved.

"Shawn!" he exclaimed, pushing away the plate he'd been playing with. "What are you doing here?"

Shawn played up the careless teenager act and shrugged as though he had simply been wandering about the City and chanced upon them. "I was just looking for something to do and Jules let me know you were out. So I thought I'd come hang. If you don't mind."

"No, not all. Have a seat," Jon told him, pulling up the chair the manager had left nearby for Shawn.

"Great. Thanks." Shawn helped himself to the bread sticks that were sitting close to Katherine's plate. He tossed her a sugary sweet smile. "Hey, Miss Tompkins. It's so nice to see you."

The secretary's eye narrowed and she regarded him suspiciously. She knew he was lying about being happy to see her, but she didn't know why he was acting like he was.

"How'd you get in?" she asked him suddenly. "It's booked."

"I've got connections," he shrugged as though he didn't have a care in the world. He turned his attention to Jon and poked at the plate in front of the man. "What is that?"

Jon scowled at the food. "It's Gnocchi... lamb... oysters, something. I don't know. You want it, it's yours."

Although French food was not his favorite, Shawn didn't dislike it at much as Jon did, but he saw no reason to let Katherine in on that secret. So he made the most disgusted face he could and pulled back from the plate. "Gross," he choked out, locking eyes with the unhappy Ms. Tompkins. "I'll pass. Jules was pretty upset she couldn't come with you guys, but I think she's gonna be glad she didn't."

Shawn did not miss the change in the woman's demeanor when he mentioned his sister. She looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"I really should call Audrey and let her know where I am," Jon murmured disquietly, looking anxious.

"You don't need to," Shawn said, keeping one eye on the woman across from them. "She knows we're meeting up."

"She does?" Jon seemed surprised, most likely because he didn't know they were meeting up.

Shawn looked at his father and gave him a knowing smile which Jon returned. "Mmm-hmm."

Katherine saw the look that passed between them. It was one she had seen so many times back then when they had their boys only club. And the name Audrey always preceded that look.

"I still should call," the superintendent remarked. He seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave the table. "She might want us to pick up dessert or something."

"Yeah, I never thought to ask about that." Shawn shrugged casually, helping himself to another breadstick. As he reached for the baked item, he "accidentally" knocked his hand into Katherine's wine glass causing some of the liquid to slosh out. She glared at him. He smiled lazily back. "Oops, my bad."

Jon quickly slid out of his seat and stepped into the quiet area away from people to make his call. The moment he left, Shawn dropped his teenage lackadaisical act and glowered at Katherine. She, too, dropped her complacent demeanor and matched his glare.

"What are you doing here, Shawn?" she demanded, leaning forward with her palms on the table as though she was trying to steady herself.

"I'm here to get my dad," he retorted, tilting his chin up so that he was looking down his nose at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to work on the budget report with Jon. And he has to eat sometime."

"Oh, yeah," Shawn sarcastically rolled his eyes. "You're really concerned about his eating."

"Yes, I am," she insisted a bit too strongly. "Is that really so hard for you to understand?"

"It wouldn't be if he didn't hate French food."

"It's an acquired taste. He'll get used to it."

He'll get used to it? Shawn was taken aback by her audacity. "Planning on making this a weekly date, are you?"

Katherine glared at him.

"If three weeks in Paris wasn't enough time to acquire a taste for the food, no amount of time with you is going to do it either."

She frowned slightly as though she didn't know what he was talking about.

Shawn shook his head. "Or didn't you know he spent that long in Paris? Or that he hates French food? Or do you just not care because you're determined to turn him into the man you want him to be?"

The man before her had been no doubt be offensive as a teen, but somehow, he managed to far surpass that obnoxiousness in adulthood.

"What is your problem?" she hissed, realizing that they were beginning to draw looks from those nearby. "You're the one who showed up uninvited."

"What's your problem?" he snapped back, purposely not lowering his voice. "You're the one who sent my sister home crying because you told her she couldn't spend time with her dad."

"This isn't a place for a child."

"This isn't a place for a secretary and her married boss."

Katherine gritted her teeth together, trying to regain the composure she was in danger of losing. Finally, she said in slightly sad tone, "Is that what you think this is about? Who are you getting your information from, Shawn? Julia?"

Shawn shrugged. "She's one of 'em."

"Yes, well," she said with a heavy sigh as though she was resigned to always being misunderstood. "Your 'sister' isn't exactly the most accurate source of information."

The insinuation riled Shawn but he wasn't about to let her know how much. "What are you sayin'? That she's a liar?"

"I'm saying she is an awful lot like her 'big brother'."

Shawn stared at her in contempt. He always knew she didn't like him, and this was pretty much an admission.

"Why, thank you," he snarked with a proud smirk.

"It wasn't a compliment," she said flatly.

"Oh, it's a criticism of my dad's parenting skills then," he laughed. "I bet Dad'll love to hear that."

It was evident that his calling Jon "dad" greatly bothered Katherine and he made note to do it as much as he could when she was around.

"What? That's not what I meant at all!"

"It must be," he said, feigning innocence. "Since I haven't exactly been here to corrupt my baby sister."

"You can twist the littlest thing..." she growled, gripping the cloth napkin that lay in her lap and twisting it viciously.

"Alright," Shawn said darkly. "Let's stop playing games then. You don't like me, and I don't like you. Agreed?"

Katherine folded her arms across her stomach and glared at him.

"Dad already knows you can't stand me so you might as well admit it," he cajoled her. "It'll make you feel better to say it out loud."

He waited, not really expecting her to say anything. She didn't.

"Anyway, why did you really bring him here?"

"I told you already," she snapped, her voice rising again. For someone reason, the people around them only stopped to look at them when she raised her voice back to a normal level. They ignored Shawn. "We have work to do, and he needs to eat."

Shawn made a contemptuous face at her. "So you brought him to a place where the tables are too small, and the light is too dim to work?"

"I didn't know that at the time."

"Sure you didn't," he said in mock agreement.

Katherine wanted nothing more than for Jon to return and save her from this laborious conversation with the spoiled brat across from her. But her boss was still immersed in his phone call.

"Shawn, I don't care what you think." She sat back against her seat. "We needed somewhere to eat and work, and this was the first place available."

Her former student looked bored. He rapped his fingertips against the fabric draped table at an annoying rhythm. After a while, he sat up and rolled his eyes again. "Uh-huh. So that's why you had a reservation made under Dad's name."

Katherine stared at him in shock. There was no way anyone could have known about that. It was impossible! "How did you find out?"

"I've got a friend," he said mysteriously, "Who is very, very good at what she does. Why would you do that though? Why not make the reservation in your name. Unless..."

Suddenly, an intense dread fell over her. "Unless what?"

"Unless you're hoping to make this look like it's his idea to go out to dinner. You know, in case the family tries to find out where he is and what he's been doing. This would look very suspicious, especially if word ever got back to his wife." He quietly folded his hand in front of him and leaned his elbows against the table. With an arch eyebrow and a hard glare, he waited for her to respond.

She ignored the accusation and steered the conversation in another direction. If there was anything in him that wasn't self-serving then perhaps, she could appeal to that side of him; a side she wasn't sure he possessed. "I'm trying to take care of Jon," she said earnestly. "In case you haven't noticed, he isn't taking care of himself, and neither is anyone else. He needs to get out from under the enormous stress he's under and since no one else in your family seems to care enough to help him out, I'm trying to do it."

"And how would you know what anyone in my family thinks or is trying to do?" Shawn was struggling to keep a lid on his anger. He wasn't about to let her get the best of him, however.

"I just know, alright. You wouldn't understand."

"Woman's intuition?" he scoffed. "Oh, no. no. That can be a good thing. So it must be desperate woman's intuition, right?"

While he was aiming for the straw that would make her snap, he had no idea how close he was to hitting that nerve. Anger flared in her eyes, and she brought her hand down on the table making the silverware jump. "What gives you the right to talk to me like that?"

Shawn leaned forward and dropped his tone low. "The moment you started trying to step into my mom's role you made yourself fair game."

"Oh, your mom," she said bitterly, rolling her eyes. She held back on saying what she really wanted to say. She wouldn't give him any more ammunition to use against her. "You don't know anything about me, Shawn, and yes, I know you don't care. I know you can't understand what my relationship with Jon meant to me. And I still care about him. In a different way than I did then." She probably emphasized this point a little too much. " I refuse to let Jon break down in front of me which is what is going to happen if someone doesn't intervene. You wanna hate me for that? Then go right ahead."

Shawn bit his tongue to refrain from unleashing his anger at her gross assumptions about his family, specifically Audrey. And he saw what she couldn't see: Jon was returning to the table. So he said quickly and menacingly, "Then let the games begin, Katherine."

It was unfortunate, from his point of view, that she saw Jon appear at the table before she could respond. Katherine sat back from the table, staring down at her hands that were folded in her lap. Shawn scowled at her, tapping his fingers at a slow, methodical pace against the wooden tabletop.

Jon saw the look on Shawn's face and the anger on Katherine's and he knew that something had happened between them. However, he had no desire to find out what it was, so he acted oblivious.

"Shawn," he said lightly. "Audrey just wants us to come home." He watched for a reaction from his secretary. "You mind driving back?"

"Nope," Shawn rapped his finger three times at an accelerated tempo before pushing away from the table. "Not at all."

Jon sighed when he saw the budget report file still laying untouched on the table as Shawn stood up. "You mind helping me with this tonight?" he asked, pointing to the documents with a displeased frown.

"Of course not, Dad," Shawn grabbed the file and popped it nonchalantly against his palm. "We'll get it done no problem."

"Thanks," the superintendent let out a sigh of relief. He stole a worried look at Katherine. She was far too quiet for his comfort. "Listen, I'm going to pay, and we'll head out."

"You know what?" Shawn said suddenly in a way that made them both look at him curiously "Let me get it. Please."

Jon shrugged, not overly surprised by his son's generosity, just caught off guard by it. But Katherine was surprised. Very much so. While not the most expensive place in NYC, it also wasn't the cheapest. It never occurred to her that Shawn might not only be self-sufficient but successful. That was certainly not the trajectory he was on when she and Jon parted ways twenty years prior.

In actuality, Shawn was sending a message to Katherine. If Jon paid, Shawn figured that it was possible she might later try to use the receipt as proof he was ditching his family responsibilities for her. After all, she did make the reservation in his name. Shawn wanted to make sure there was no way she could twist this situation into something it was not. And if by some small chance he was wrong about the woman, so what? Shawn wasn't exactly concerned about burning bridges where she was concerned.

As he leaned over the table to pick up the check, Katherine resentfully growled at him, "This isn't over."

With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he smirked, "I am so glad to hear you say that."

There was no such thing as a short drive home when you were in New York City during rush hour even if you only lived a few blocks away from where you were. Shawn kept glancing back and forth between Jon and the car in front of them. The man next to him was slumped down in his seat, bleary-eyed and worn out, yet still wide awake. Shawn thought this was strange. If it had been him, he would have been out cold and most likely snoring. But then he had never been under the kind of pressure Jon was under. Although there were times it felt that the weight of the world was on his shoulders, it had not ever been on his shoulders in the same way.

"You okay, Dad?"

Jon sighed. "Yeah. I'm just really tired."

"Hungry?"

The superintendent laughed. "Very. I can't wait to get home to Audrey's food."

Traffic began to move again, then immediately came to a halt. Shawn tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel wondering if he should say anything to Jon about being out with Katherine instead of coming home with Julia. He decided to say nothing; it was clear that Jon had not been into the "date" like Katherine was. As much of a relief as that was, Shawn felt there was still an imminent danger lying just beyond them. He worried that he may have angered Katherine too much. The problem was, he really didn't know the woman; he never had. He had no idea what she was capable of doing. Maybe she would do nothing. Maybe the idea of having to go up against him was enough to make her back off. Yet for all he knew, Katherine was as devious as they came and would be out to pull Jon away from his family if for no other reason than to get back of him for his interference. Shawn made a face. Antagonizing her may not been the smartest thing to do. And what about Jon? He knew that he would never willfully cheat on his wife or turn his back on his family. He did know Jon that well. But Katherine, if she chose to, could certainly make things a nightmare for them all and cause irreparable damage to his parents' marriage.

"You okay, Shawn?"

Unconsciously, his drumming on the steering wheel had taken a very loud, angry beat.

"Yeah," Shawn said quickly. "Just trying not to get annoyed with traffic."

Jon nodded. "I'm glad you showed up when you did. It would have been a bad idea for me to drive home. How'd you find me anyway? I didn't even know where we were going."

Shawn smiles "Katy."

"Katy Hart? How'd she know?"

Shawn paused. It was tempting to rat Jon's devious secretary out, but he didn't see what that would accomplish other than to add more stress to his father. "Since Topanga's is halfway between home and the office, I thought you'd go there, even though Julia said she suggested it and was shot down." He glanced at his father. "Katy suggested Claudette because it was close by. Lucky guess, I suppose."

"Yeah," Jon agreed. "Whatever it was, I'm glad you showed up."

"Me, too."

"You know, Shawn. You don't have to do the budget report with me. I know you've got things to do. It's my job, I'll deal with it."

"I don't mind, Dad," he insisted adamantly. "Besides, if I'm gonna be with you next week, I do need to do what you do as much as I can."

The superintendent was quiet for a while. When he finally spoke again, his voice was thick with emotion. "When did you start calling me Dad?"

Shawn had to really think about that. He honestly wasn't sure. There were times when he was a kid that he referred to Jon as his dad, usually when Audrey was around, and he would call her mom. Although he frequently daydreamed about them adopting him and would refer to them as Mom and Dad in his head, out loud he would play the titles off as not so subtle hinting for them to get together. Then there were times when he was around people who didn't know him that he would give the impression that Jon was his father. At some point in his late twenties, he started referring to Chet Hunter as his biological father and when, on rare occasion, he mentioned his dad to other people, he was always referring to Jon.

He shrugged. "I dunno. A while, I guess. Does it bother you?"

"No, no." Jon leaned his head back against the headrest and sighed. "It's nice to hear you feel that way."

Shawn smiled. "You always have been. Doesn't make sense to call you anything else."

In the twilight and flickering taillights of the cars casting shadows all over, Shawn didn't see the look on Jon's face something akin to relief, mingled with a touch of regret.

Perhaps, the older man thought with melancholy, I didn't mess up as bad I thought I did.

What happened?

It was nearly 45 minutes after leaving Claudette that Shawn finally made it home and was able to answer Cory's flood of text messages.

We are officially at war.

War? We need to meet ASAP. I want details!

When can you come over?

I'll ask the wife and let you know.

Shawn chuckled at the last reply. He was about to put his phone away and head done to dinner with his family when his phone buzzed again. This time it was Katy.

How did things go?

Okay. He's home now.

Good. I'm glad.

Thank you btw! When things calm down, I promise I'll take you out and tell you all about it.

Can't wait!

Claudette?

There was a minute delay before she answered again.

Can we go somewhere else?

Sure. Why?

I hate French food.

Shawn laughed aloud.

Oh, she'll fit in great here.

The thought came out of nowhere and stuck him strangely. She'll fit in great here. Here. With his family. It was a bit uncomfortable to think about, but oddly enough, it didn't bother him the way it would have just over a month ago.

I'll take you anywhere you want to go.

It was nearly seven when Audrey called everyone to the table. Even though it was late, and the kids were bordering on hangry, it seemed as though a darkness had lifted over the Turner household. Things seemed a bit more normal. The chattering was back as the younger kids filled their parents in on whatever came to their minds. As tired as he was, Jon was more engaged with everyone than he had been in some time. He was more openly affectionate with Audrey it made all the difference in her. Her smile helped to push the darkness further away.

Once the house quieted down, Julia found Shawn in the living room gathering his tablet and phone before heading to Jon's office to help with the district budget report. He had not had a chance to talk to her earlier and he was glad she stayed behind. Julia, however, was not in a mood to talk. She approached solemnly him with those gray eyes wide and unblinking until she was almost nose to nose with him. Without warning, she grabbed onto him, clutching him in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around her and returned the embrace. It took a moment before he realized that she was crying. The siblings stood there for a long time until Julia was cried out.

Finally, she turned her chin upwards to look at him. "Thank you, Shawn. Thank you so much."

"Yeah, you're welcome, Jules."

"I'm so glad this is over," she slumped in his arms, worn out from worry. "I thought it'd be fun to take on Miss Tompkins. But I don't want to, Shawn. I've been watching the Parent Trap over and over. The movies make this look like fun. But it's not and I hate it. I'm so glad it's over."

But it wasn't over, and Shawn hated to have to break the bad news to her. But he had to; he couldn't rightly keep her in the dark and he knew he would need her help.

"Jules," he said quietly. "Dad left the table when he called Mom, so I stayed and confronted Miss Tompkins."

Julia's eyes filled with tears again as she looked up at her brother. Worry crashed over her with great intensity.

"We were right about her," he informed her regretfully. "I wish we had been wrong, but we aren't. It's not over, she said so herself."

Julia suddenly looked fearful. "What are we going to do?"

"Just what we planned. You, me, and Cory. We start tomorrow."

Chapter Text

"There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth."-Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Winter in Manhattan was a mixed bag at times but cold and snow were most certainly going to be a near constant. That night was no different. After getting the budget report, minus a few small details, completed, Shawn found himself staring out the window of the family room on the main level. It started snowing at some point while he and Jon were working and it was now accumulating surprisingly high. He wondered how much snow it would take to cancel school for Julia. It took many inches and very bitter temperatures for Mr. Feeny to cancel school when he was principal. In fact, Shawn found it hard to remember if they ever had snow days in high school.

Humph, he thought, I'll have to ask Cory. Pretty sure we didn't get any.

While snow may not have held any school-canceled days in his memories, it did very much remind him of Christmas. He had heard that for many who grew up in the City, Christmas was a time of wonderment and enchantment. Cory said this was especially true after Riley was born. But Shawn never actually spent a Christmas in New York until this past year. The closest he came before that was during their first year in the City. Although all of his friends planned on getting together and spending their first adult holiday on their own together, he chose, at the last minute, to strike out by himself and meet up with a distant cousin in Pittsburgh. Without Angela, without Jon, without Audrey, Christmas no longer held much meaning for him. Since that time, he would spend either the 23rd or the 26th with Cory and Topanga and later Riley, but never Christmas Eve or Christmas day. It was only a brief time before he wasn't spending Christmas with anyone. It wasn't long before Christmas was just another day of the year.

Shawn let his mind drifted back to days long gone as he thought about the Christmases he spent with Jon and Audrey. There were several, he thought, lazily letting the memories drift by. He frowned. No, there were several with Jon, not both of them. No, that wasn't right either. Shawn focused his attention more as he continued to stare at the falling snow. He was with Jon at the end of his freshman year, they spent the summer traveling, then Audrey joined them in the fall. She was gone before his sophomore year ended and he and Jon parted ways before the end of that school year, too. So it was just one. Just one Christmas with Jon and with Audrey. How could that be? It seemed like so many more. Now as he recalled the timeline, he was with Jon he realized that those memories of one Christmas and been fractured into several pieces resulting in him believing that they were different memories. For the longest time, he was absolutely certain there were multiple Christmases. Now it seemed that those broken memories had resulted in a sort of Mandela effect.

Well, that's depressing.

Even more depressing was the realization that he had missed the season once again as it was now mid-February, and he would have to wait another ten months to experience that special time of year with his family again. Before he could sink any further into dark thoughts, Shawn heard the soft padding of bare feet against the wood floor. He turned slightly to see Julia wrapped up in one of Jon's hoodies approaching him. She looked tired and troubled.

"Can't sleep?" he asked in a hushed voice even though they were downstairs and everyone else was upstairs.

She shook her head, messy curls flying everywhere.

"Me, neither."

Julia walked up alongside him and rested her cheek against his shoulder. She stared absently at the falling snow. "I keep dreaming about Miss Tompkins taking Daddy away and Daddy just not coming home one day."

"That's not going to happen," he insisted fervently, wrapping his arm around her. "Not ever."

"I hope not."

Shawn glanced at the clock. It was nearing 11:30. "You should be in bed. It's late and there's school tomorrow. Not to mention everything else we have to do."

"I know," she sighed heavily. "I just can't sleep."

The brother and sister were silent for a long while watching the snow accumulate into piles in the skinny strip of yard outside the brownstone.

"Shawn?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you tell me a story?"

"A story?" Shawn blinked at the unexpected request. "Yeah, I guess. What about?"

"I don't know," she shrugged turning away from him and wandering over to the couch. Shawn followed her. "Tell me what it was like with Mom and Dad before they got married."

"It's funny you should mention that," he smiled, grabbing a throw from the basket next to the couch. "I was just thinking about that time."

"What part were you thinking about?"

"My one and only Christmas with them."

"Just one?" Julia frowned. The way her parents told it made it sound as though they spent a lot of Christmases together.

"Yeah, I wasn't with Dad a full year, so it was just one."

"What was it like?" she asked, snuggled up against him. The house was colder than she thought it was when she first got up.

"Best Christmas ever," he smiled fondly with a faraway look in his eyes. "I never had a real Christmas before. I mean Chet and Virna did the best they could with our circumstances, I guess." Shawn left out the part about how many Christmases went to the wayside because Chet drank away the finances his stepmother had worked so hard for that would result in screaming matches between the two of them. Screaming matches that escalated into shoving. Shoving that resulted in injury and someone leaving. He didn't think it was necessary to bring that up and disturb his sister more. But Julia seemed to have the innate ability to read his face and tell what he was thinking about.

"Dad said Chet drank a lot when you were growing up."

"Yeah, he did. Didn't make Christmas very merry."

"I'm sorry, Shawn." Julia felt for her brother even though she didn't have any real understanding of what he had gone through as a kid. Her father didn't even keep alcohol in the house. If he did any drinking it was out of the house, but he wasn't much of a social drinker anymore. Her mother didn't drink at all. All Julia knew about parents who drank excessively was what she had seen on TV, and she had no way of knowing what was accurate and what was not.

"Don't be sorry," he told her. "Just be grateful. There's no way Dad could ever end up like Chet."

Wanting to get her brother away from this darker subject matter- she had enough to worry about right now, she asked, "So what was the best Christmas ever like?"

Shawn smiled and pulled the blanket around them both.

o0o0o

"Okay, I've got my list made."

Jon was in a hurry to get ready for school. He'd managed to oversleep thanks to Shawn taking it upon himself to shut off the alarm clock. It made an annoying sound according to the teen and made it hard to keep sleeping even though he was in another room.

"What list?"

"My Christmas list."

"Already?" He gave his tie a frustrated tug only to have it come completely undone on him. "It's only the 1st of December."

"Yeah, I know," Shawn said, tapping a pencil against his chin and studying the paper in his hand. "But I wanna make sure you have enough time to get everything."

Oh, boy, I can't wait to see what this is all about, Jon thought trying to figure out why he suddenly couldn't tie a tie.

Shawn clearly was focused on this list and knowing the boy the way he did, he knew if he didn't deal with this now, there was no chance of Shawn paying any attention in class at all. And he did so little of that under normal circumstances. Jon took a seat at his desk near the kitchen, inhaled deeply then said, "All right, let's see how bad this is."

Nervously, Shawn handed him his meticulously made out wish list. He was anxious because he had included a lot of things in it, but none of it would mean as much if Jon couldn't fulfill the number one wish.

Jon took the list and immediately had to re-read it. He stared at the list and read all 21 items over and over, struggling to comprehend what he was reading. It wasn't that it was illegible or extravagant, it was just...

"Are you sure this is all you want?" he asked, tapping the paper with his finger.

Shawn nodded fervently, pursing his lips together tightly as he awaited Jon's verdict on the list.

"Shawn..." the teacher was still baffled by what he read. "I mean, yeah, we can do this stuff, but the first one- Audrey?"

Again, the teen nodded so hard his bangs fell into his eyes. "I want her the most. She has to be with us this year."

"Shawn, you know she's supposed to go back to the City and spend Christmas with her dad."

"I know," he shifted from one foot to the other and back again. "But I thought maybe something could be worked out."

"I'll talk to her, Shawn, but I can't promise anything."

"That's okay."

"This other stuff though..."

Suddenly, Shawn felt panicked and insecure about what he had included in his list. It was kind of baby stuff now that he thought about it. He wished he could take the list back and just forget about it. "You think it's stupid, don't you?"

Jon looked up in surprise. "No, I don't," he said sincerely. "I get where you're coming from with this list." He paused and read over it again. "We'll definitely need Audrey to do this right. I never had a Christmas like the one you're wanting."

Shawn was dumbfounded by this admission. He figured that of the three of them, Jon had the best Christmases given his background. "How could you not? Eli told me about how you grew up. I figured you had the Richie Rich version of what I want. You know the best Christmas ever every year."

It still amazed Jon that Shawn equated happiness and security with money. "Yeah, they were if your definition of the best Christmas ever is being at some fancy ski resort in Tahoe or Vail or somewhere in Europe surrounded by people you don't know or care about. Or if the best Christmas ever is being left home alone with the house staff when you got older."

"Wow," Shawn flopped down in a nearby chair. "So like your parents weren't around at all?"

Jon shrugged, giving his tie another attempt. "Not really. Not unless they needed to be seen. When I was really little there was always a lot of stuff under the tree but as soon the presents were opened that was it. They'd take off to the slopes to schmooze the business connections, intimidate the competition. When I turned twelve and said that I didn't want to spend Christmas skiing, I wanted to spend it at home, I got my wish. They went to Switzerland, and I stayed home with the staff. I dunno, in a way, Christmases were closer to normal with them, I guess."

"But if you ended up alone, did the staff ditch you?"

"Nah, they were good people. It's just that when I turned fifteen, I realized that these people had families to go home to and because of me they hadn't been home on Christmas in years. So my giftto to them was to let them go home. I spent Christmas alone from then on until I decided to leave for good. And believe me, stayin' home alone on Christmas is nothin' like the movies." Finally, he managed to get his tie knotted correctly. He stood and went into the kitchen to grab some coffee before leaving.

"Your parents did ditch you, though?" Shawn was fascinated by Jon's former life and how it was nothing like he'd imagined it to be.

"Yeah, they weren't very good at the emotional stuff. They thought they could throw money at a situation and make it go away. I guess they just did what they knew. It's how they were raised."

Shawn considered this seriously. He'd always just assumed that because of his family's wealth, Jon must have had those picture-perfect holidays, that life had to be perfect. That it was not created a great deal of cognitive dissonance for him, and he frowned. It struck him that although they had grown up in very different environments, they were, at least in this way, very similar. The chord this thought played in his mind sent shivers down his spine as it challenged what he thought he knew about wealth and poverty and the people living in the two extremes.

"Didn't you have friends to spend Christmas with?" Even if his home was a mess at least he had always had the Matthews' place to take refuge in.

"Not really," his teacher grimaced as he stirred creamer into the liquid in his mug. "All my friends were perfectly happy to go off to the ski lodge with their parents and show off all the stuff they got. I was the only one who refused. Every year I dug my heels in deeper about not participating. Especially when Mel tried to get me to go with her and her parents. Eventually, they quit asking."

"Wow. That really stinks."

Jon shrugged it off clearly, becoming uncomfortable with the conversation. "It is what it is. Let's make this Christmas one to remember. Are you sure everything you want is on this list? There's nothing on here that would go under the tree."

"It's not eeeeeverything," Shawn gave him a goofy smile.

The smile made Jon very suspicious. "What's not on here?"

"Well," he said, leaning against the kitchen table. He picked up a napkin and began to casually fold it. "I left it off, so I'd have something to ask for on my birthday."

"What is it?"

Shawn unfolded the napkin and started to twist it. "It's sort of expensive."

"What is it?"

"But it's a lifelong investment for both of us." He coiled the napkin into a ball and tucked the ends inside of the coil.

"What. Is. It?"

Shawn put the napkin ball in front of Jon. The smile became a knowing smirk. "An engagement ring."

Jon stared at him with his mouth slightly open. He must have misheard the teen. "Say again."

"Well," Shawn said, ignoring the question. He folded his hands seriously in front of him." It's a lifelong investment for the three of us guaranteed to pay huge dividends in the future."

The stock market jargon only served to further confuse Jon who was absolutely flabbergasted by Shawn's request. "An engagement ring?"

"Yes," the teen was hoping his teacher was finally catching on. The man could be awfully slow at times. "Then we can elope. I hear Vegas is good for that sort of thing."

Jon was too stunned to say much. He threw his hands up in surrender. "Anything else you'd like?"

Shawn thought for a moment, then said earnestly, "A brother or sister would be nice but no rush on that. Let's get married first."

He still couldn't believe this conversation was actually happening. Surely, he was still asleep and in the middle of a bad dream. "Are you kiddin' me?"

"No, I'm serious." And he was. It was the most serious Jon had ever seen him.

"Shawn," Jon said, trying to regain his bearings and some sort of control over his morning. "We've been over this. It's not gonna happen."

Shawn rolled his eyes, exasperated. "You digging your heels in on this too?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well, unlike your dumb rich friends I won't quit asking."

His teacher gave a heavy sigh. "You wouldn't be you if you did. Look, let's just focus on Christmas, okay? Get your stuff." He motioned to Shawn's bookbag.

Shawn grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder. "What about in June?"

"What about in June what?" he asked, picking up his own school bag. "Christmas? It's Christmas in July, not June."

The teen rolled his eyes again. "What about getting married in June?"

"Shawn!"

"She won't be your student teacher anymore," he reasoned. "Feeny can't do anything to you then!"

"Just stop, Hunter. C'mon, make sure you have all your stuff together and get to school. Where's Matthews? Aren't you walkin' with him today?"

Shawn blocked his teacher's path to the door. "Nah, his dad is dropping him off. I'm going with you."

"No, you're not," Jon told him, moving him out of the way and opening the door. "I'm takin' the bike. You're walkin'."

"No," the boy shook his head as they stepped into the hall. "See I don't feel like walking."

"If I don't take the bike, people are gonna think I'm not at school. Feeny'll mark me absent. I'm takin' the bike. You're walkin'"

"Truck it is!" Shawn exclaimed. He ran as fast as he could to the spot where Jon's truck and bike were in the garage. He was at the door of the truck long before Jon could catch him. It was just too bad he didn't have the keys.

Jon groaned as he chased after him. This was one of those times he desperately needed Audrey; he had no idea how stop Shawn when he got into a mood like this.

When he finally made to where the boy was standing, he shot him an unhappy look and snapped. "Fine. Truck. Get in. Be quiet."

Triumphantly, Shawn tossed his book bag into the now unlocked truck, got in, and buckled up. He then proceeded to hassle his teacher all the way to school about what he wanted for his birthday.

After the bell rang dismissing sixth period, Jon finally had an opportunity to talk to Audrey about Shawn's Christmas wish list. He walked up behind where she was at his desk organizing that period's homework collection. He was just about to put his hand on her shoulder when he caught a glimpse of the open classroom door. Quickly shoving his hand in his pocket, he backed away from her and walked around to the other side of the desk.

"Shawn gave me his Christmas list today." He held the paper up to her so she could see it.

"Really?" She seemed amused. "He's running a little late, isn't he? Don't most kids have their lists filled out right after Thanksgiving?"

"I wouldn't know," he laughed. "Here. Check out what's first on the list."

Audrey looked at him quizzically as she took the paper from him. She looked at the first item on the list. She gave him a wide-eyed confused look. "Me?"

Jon nodded. "He wants you to spend Christmas with us."

Audrey's smile faded and she pressed her lips together into a tight line. "I wish I could. But I've already arranged to be with my dad for Christmas and here for New Year's."

"He knows. He was just hoping something could be worked out."

Audrey studied the list. This wasn't just any list. It was very carefully written. Never had Audrey seen such tidy and readable handwriting from Shawn. Every word was lined up carefully with the word above it; everything was neatly and evenly spaced. Audrey wondered how many times Shawn had rewritten it to get everything so perfect. It was obvious that this was very important to him. If the care taken in writing caught her heart, the content of the list itself caught her breath. She found it incredibly sweet but also incredibly sad.

My Christmas List by Shawn Hunter

If I can only have one thing, I would like the first one on this Christmas list.

1. Audrey

2. Decorate a Christmas tree

3. Make Christmas ornaments

4. Go to the Christmas Village

5. Send out Christmas cards

6. Go sledding

7. See the neighborhood Christmas lights

8. Go on a sleigh ride

9. Bake gingerbread cookies

10. Drink hot chocolate

11. Roast chestnuts. (Ask what chestnuts are)

12. Roast marshmallows in a fireplace.

13. See the Christmas Light Show

14. Go Christmas caroling

15. Make a gingerbread house

16. Go ice skating

17. Help at the Apple Tree Family Central Center shelter Toy Drive

18. Go to a candlelight church service

19. Watch Home Alone and other Christmas movies

20. Hang stockings

21. Wake up with family on Christmas Day

"Oh, Jon," she breathed, tears gathering in her eyes. "This list... especially number 17!"

"I know. If that isn't the mark of a good kid nothing is."

Audrey bit her lip as she reread the list again, twirling a lock of hair in between her thumb and forefinger. "You know," she said slowly, trying to think. "My dad really isn't aware of the seasons anymore. He barely remembered what Christmas was last year, I doubt he'll remember anything this year." She let go of her hair and tapped her finger against her chin. "I'll have to check with the hospice to see what their holiday visitation schedule is after Christmas."

Jon looked up at her, hopefully. "So you'll stay?"

She nodded slowly. There was a sad look in her eyes that he didn't understand. "But Jon, this means that if I go after Christmas I probably won't be back in time for New Year's Eve."

"Oh." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He'd had New Year's Eve planned since before Thanksgiving. Eli invited him to a New Year's Eve party given by an acquaintance from his days in the news media. As it turned out, that acquaintance had a girlfriend who once danced with Audrey at the American Ballet Theater. The girlfriend reached out to Audrey and invited her. Jon saw this as the perfect opportunity for them to go out without actually going out. If anyone from school found out, they had an alibi: Eli invited him, and the hosts invited Audrey. He had nothing to do with her being there. Technically. Audrey nearly declined the invitation until Jon convinced her she should go. And if she felt uncomfortable at all she could just stay with him the entire time. She told him that she was already uncomfortable and would need to stay with him, which was exactly what he was hoping for. The plan was perfect, and they were unlikely to ever have this kind of opportunity again. But now it looked like they wouldn't have the opportunity at all. Jon folded his arms across his chest and forced his expression to be neutral. When he met her eyes, there was a storm of disappointment in them. She also held the list, turned towards him as if to say, "how can we not do this?".

"I'd rather have you with us for a whole week than just one night anyway," he said as though the broken date was no big deal. He took the list from her. "Can you come over tonight so we can plan this? This may take most of the month to do."

Audrey grinned, but her attention was caught by something at the door. Jon followed her gaze and his heart started to race when he saw Mr. Feeny standing in the door watching them. The principal gave them a tight smile and small wave before moving on. Jon let out a sigh of relief and prayed the principal hadn't heard anything they were discussing.

When Shawn got back to the apartment after hanging out with Cory after school it was nearly 5:30pm. He knew the moment he stepped into his floor's hallway that Audrey was already there. He could smell the delicious aroma of pot roast wafting out from under door number 8.

The sudden slamming open of the door caused Jon to look up from chopping vegetables.

"Go wash your hands," he told Shawn, who threw his bookbag at the nearest chair, missing it completely. "Then get in here and make yourself useful."

Shawn grinned and without protest did what he was asked to do. When he returned to the kitchen, he walked up behind Audrey, leaned over, and put his chin on her shoulder. "Whaddya want me to do?"

"Mash the potatoes for me, please," she said, motioning to the freshly washed potatoes. "Do you remember how I showed you how to do it?"

"I think so."

"Boil them first," she reminded him. "It's much easier that way."

Jon and Audrey watched him slowly and carefully peel and then dice the potatoes with his tongue stuck out to the side the whole time he was working. They struggled not to laugh as they didn't want to discourage his endeavors. However, he was going at a painfully slow pace and after a while Jon couldn't take it anymore.

"Shawn, we'd like to eat some time tonight. Feel free to pick up the pace. They don't have to be cut perfectly."

Shawn looked up very serious, blew his bangs out of his face, and looked to Audrey for confirmation. When it came to cooking, he didn't trust Jon fully.

"They're going to be mashed up anyway," she said, taking the rolls out of the oven.

The boy nodded and proceeded to suddenly and quickly diced the rest of the potatoes. So quickly Jon grew worried that there would be more than potatoes in the dish, but he refrained from saying anything as Audrey had her eye on Shawn.

"Is Mr. Williams coming over tonight?" Shawn asked as they sat down to dinner twenty minutes later. As much as he liked his media arts teacher, he didn't like him coming over to the apartment when Audrey was there because her stay was always cut short when he showed up. Shawn had never asked Jon how much Eli knew about Audrey, but he suspected he must know that she was often over as he had never heard the teacher say about her being there and he never had a problem giving Jon a hard time about women. However, there was a distinct change in Jon when Audrey and Eli were both there. He went from being comfortable and relaxed to almost on edge. It was weird and Shawn couldn't quite figure out what the difference was, so he just preferred to see Mr. Williams at school.

"Nope," Jon said. "I set him up with this waitress from Hannigan's so he's gonna be busy for quite some time if it all works out."

Shawn's fork suddenly clattered against the table. Audrey and Jon found him looking absolutely horrified at them.

"Shawn? What's wrong?" Audrey asked with concern.

With food in his mouth he said to Jon, "You set him up with a waitress," he looked at Audrey in despair. "From Hannigan's?"

"Yeah so?" Jon put his fork down when he realized what Shawn was thinking. Exasperated, he said, "Not Audrey! You know she isn't the only one who works there."

"She's the only one I know who works there," he grumbled.

Audrey couldn't help but laugh. "I promise you, Shawn, it isn't me. She's a friend of mine- Taylor. We work the same shift."

"Oh, okay." The boy seemed placated, and dinner went on without any further interruptions.

After dinner, the three of them moved to the couch to catch up on the news. The news wasn't necessarily something  Shawn cared about, but he wasn't about to miss a chance to be around Audrey while she was there. He considered going to his room so she and Jon could be alone. He decided against it as she often left if he did. So to make sure she stayed as long as possible, he grabbed a pillow, tossed it on her lap, and laid down.

"So," Jon said as a commercial break began, "What do you think, Audrey? Should we give Shawn an early Christmas gift."

Shawn immediately sat up and looked at them expectantly. "Yes," he said. "Yes, you should give Shawn an early Christmas gift."

Audrey ignored him and focused on Jon. "I don't know," she said doubtfully. "It's only December 1st."

"Yeah," he said, knowing full well that dragging out the conversation was driving Shawn crazy. "That's true. I guess we'll wait then."

"What?" Shawn cried, jumping to kneel on the couch. "That's not fair! You brought it up-gimme!"

Audrey started to laugh as Jon said. "Well, that's true, too."

"Okay," she sighed in mock resignation, still laughing. "It's your gift to him anyway."

Shawn could barely contain himself as he kneeled on the couch and bounced up and down. "Where is it?"

"Right here." Jon held his hands out, presenting Audrey to Shawn. "I got you number one on your list."

It took a moment for his words to sink in and when they did happiness filled him up and bubbled over. He threw himself across them both in an awkward and uncomfortable hug, giddily babbling his gratitude over and over.

"I won't be here for New Year's then," Audrey clarified wanting to make sure he understood so that he wasn't disappointed later on.

"Okay that's okay," Shawn chirped gleefully. "I'll be with Cory and Topanga anyway."

As he said this, he caught a glimpse of the strange look that crossed Jon's face. He looked away from them to something on the floor. Shawn couldn't see that there was anything worth looking at there, but he was too happy to worry about it.

"So this means we're doing everything on the list then right?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "But we are not telling you when we're doing your list. That's the surprise we're still working on."

"I can't wait," he said, grinning so big his cheeks were beginning to hurt as he settled back against her. His thoughts were brimming over with everything he was going to get to do with them in the days ahead.

After the news was over, Shawn, without complaining, started on his homework, whistling happily to himself as Jon and Audrey graded papers. The time went too quickly and soon it was time for him to go to bed and for Audrey to leave. He was just about to go to his room when he realized that Jon had been uncharacteristically quiet for quite some time. His teacher's demeanor had shifted after the mention of New Year's Eve. As Shawn thought about the holiday, it abruptly became clear to him why his teacher seemed saddened. This New Year's Eve was a big deal to both of them. For Shawn, it was the first one that he, Cory, Topanga, and Eric would be able to go out on their own for New Year's Eve. For Jon it was the one and only time he'd get to be with Audrey at a party they were both attending. It was as close to a date as he'd get with her. Shawn stood in the shadows of the hall and watched his teacher put away the dishes. He felt a strange rock settle in his chest and a lump in his throat. The adults in his life didn't give things up for him. They didn't put him ahead of their wants and desires. Not even his parents. Booze, spending money, and scheming to get money all went ahead of him. Yet here was his teacher, who was not obligated to do anything other than teach him in class, but who was doing what his parents wouldn't do. Shawn knew how Jon felt about Audrey and the significance of Audrey spending Christmas with them was not lost on him.

Shawn wasn't a very affectionate kid. Kids learn more from what's modeled to them by the people around them than they do from what comes out of the same people's mouths. It was very hard to be affectionate when your own parents weren't very loving with you. Letting your walls down enough to really hug someone or to be hugged was difficult. Jon knew that from his own experience. So when he found himself suddenly being hugged by a kid who didn't hug people, he knew he'd somehow managed to break through to him. And in order to encourage Shawn's newfound vulnerability he had to let his own walls down enough to genuinely return the hug.

"Thank you." Shawn said intensely, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"You're welcome, Shawn," Jon said, surprised to find himself getting choked up. "We're both happy to do this for you."

But the boy shook his head. "That's not what I meant. Thank you for giving up your New Year's so I can have my Christmas."

Jon didn't know what to say. The emotional stuff came about as easy to him as it did to Shawn. But he was extremely touched that Shawn had made the connection. Ruffling the boy's hair he said, "Yeah, well, we're both going to have the best Christmas ever for the first time. That's a pretty good trade off, don't you think?"

Shawn responded by hugging him even tighter and making him gasp in pain and for air. "Shawn! Let go before you break a rib!"

The teen looked up through the tears and grinned. "Whatever you say, Dad."

Jon smiled at the title. It was strange, but also really nice to be called that he realized with amazement.

"Good. Then go bed."

As he watched Shawn leave to go to his room, Jon tried to give a name to the feeling that had overtaken him, but it was too unfamiliar to do so. He shrugged and made his way to his own room. Maybe it was the feeling that came with Christmas, and he was just feeling it for the first time.

Chapter Text

It had been decided that the following weekend was the weekend to put up the Christmas tree. It had also been decided that since Audrey's place had more room and a fireplace all the holiday festivities would take place there. When Shawn found out that Audrey had a spare bedroom and a sofa bed, he tried to convince Jon that they should just move in for the month. When Jon said no, Shawn wished him well and told him he hoped he wouldn't get lonely at night.

In order to give Shawn, the full Christmas tree experience, rather than go to a tree lot like he thought they were going to go to, Jon and Audrey surprised him with a trip out of town to Arasapha Farms in Glen Mills. For Audrey, this was a normal Christmas experience; she grew up going to the tree farms in Jersey every year after Thanksgiving to cut down a tree with her father. But it was a new experience for Shawn and Jon. Shawn had never picked out a Christmas tree that looked like a Christmas tree rather than one that even Charlie Brown wouldn't want. Jon had never picked out a tree of any kind nor had he had ever cut one down.

"This is so cool," Shawn commented, grinning widely as they stood at the edge of the farm where the trees began. "You know," he said, when the adults finally caught up to him, "Audrey is all I really wanted for Christmas, but this," he gestured to the trees, "this is just icing on the gingerbread cookies."

Jon regarded him with mild concern. "Cake," he corrected. "The saying is 'icing on the cake'."

Shawn looked at him in confusion. "But I don't want cake for Christmas, I want gingerbread cookies."

Jon looked Audrey for help. "He wants cookies for Christmas," she teased him. "What are you even talking about?"

He laughed. "I have no idea."

The tree farm was crawling with people and Shawn worried that someone else would get their tree before them. Yet he insisted on going to the ends of the farm and back and from one side to the next inspecting every tree before choosing one. The weather was chilly and growing colder as the day went on but trekking back and forth made them sweaty. Jon found himself carrying the jacket Shawn had shed as the teen ran ahead of them once again. Every dad carrying an article of their child's clothing or something else they'd brought with them gave Jon a nod of acknowledgment as if to say, "we always end up doing this don't we?".

At one point Audrey stumbled on a low-cut stump. Jon caught and pulled her close to him to keep her on her feet. Instinct told him to let go of her right away. As he started to pull away, he realized that absolutely no one knew them in Glen Mills. Not a single person knew that Audrey was his student teacher or that Shawn was his student; they were just one more family in the crowd. He hugged her close and she looked up in surprise. A pleased look and a shy smile blushed her face and she wrapped her arm around his waist. Shawn, standing by a tree he liked, saw this and grinned.

"I think I found the one," he said, inspecting the tree in front of him.

"Great." Jon was growing tired after a nearly two-hour excursion through the farm carrying a leather jacket and saw.

"Four rows down that way." Shawn pointed into the distance and took off again.

The English teacher stared after him and set his jaw at angle. "We're going to be trapped here forever, aren't we?" he complained with a dramatic groan.

Audrey laughed. "Oh, stop complaining. This was your idea after all."

Shawn had finally found The tree though, and there was no need to keep searching. It was a beautiful full Douglas fir. Jon and Audrey were impressed with the choice and Shawn basked in their approval.

Rather than return immediately to Philadelphia, Jon wanted to stay in Glen Mills for lunch. He enjoyed being able to wander around with Audrey and Shawn and not worry about who might see them. As they ate, he listened to Shawn and Audrey discuss plans for decorating the tree and her place. Shawn wanted just about every Christmas cliché imaginable and luckily Audrey, being both resourceful and creative, knew how to go about it without breaking the bank. After lunch was over, they headed to the local shops to round up decorating supplies. None of them had anything already for the season; Shawn and Jon never had any Christmas décor and Audrey's was all back in New York. Even so, she was strangely insistent on not buying certain things like lights and garland and bulb ornaments. Instead, she turned her attention to Shawn's wish to make ornaments. On their way to check out, Shawn found the Hallmark ornament display with a miniature Darth Vader holding a light up Light saber.

"You are not hanging that on my tree," Audrey told him flatly.

He made a face at her, "Well, if you and Jon had gotten me the Darth Vader I wanted at FAO Schwartz, I wouldn't even think about it."

"That thing was 6 feet tall, made out of Legos and $5000," Jon told him. Turning to Audrey, he said, "I say we get that one and hide it in the back of the tree where nobody will see it and we can stop hearing about the Darth Vader we didn't get him."

Shawn rolled his eyes and Audrey laughed.

"Can I get an ornament?" he asked. He was still holding Darth Vader, but he was looking at something else.

Jon and Audrey exchanged looks. Jon shrugged. "Sure. One."

Shawn put down the ornament in his hand and waved them on. "I'll be there in just a minute."

"Hurry up," Audrey told him as she started to pushcart toward the checkout lane.

Shawn rejoined them just a few minutes later and quickly put his ornament on the checkout counter.

"What'd you get?" Jon asked him.

"I'll show you later. It's not Star Wars, I promise."

After loading the truck and re-securing the tree, Jon was still reluctant to return home.

"Why don't you want to go back?" Audrey asked as they got into the truck.

"I dunno," he shrugged. He didn't know if he should say anything to her about how stressful it was on him to do things in Philadelphia for fear of people noticing them. "It's nice being out of the city."

"We need to get back," Audrey said. "We've still got a lot to do."

"We don't have to do everything today. We still have tomorrow."

"I know. But I need to get back."

"Why?"

"Just because I do," she insisted.

They made it back to Audrey's place around 3. It turned out, however, that they had all underestimated the size of the tree and the size of the space it was going into. There was hardly any trunk left as so much had to be cut off so that the tree wasn't touching the ceiling. Shawn was adamant that a star had to go on top.

Just as the tree was put up, the doorbell. Instinctively, Jon froze and began to look for back exits in the event he and Shawn needed to disappear for a while.

Audrey didn't think twice about answering the door. Her face lit up in a delighted grin. "Uncle Alex! You made it!"

"Of course, I did, my dear girl. I told you would and here I am!"

Jon had not been able to move from his place in the kitchen. The voice sounded incredibly familiar. But Uncle Alex? He'd never heard of an Uncle Alex. As far as he knew, her father's family was in California and her mother's in England.

"Jon! Shawn!" Audrey called to them. "Come here."

Shawn jumped the couch at her call and was by her side in a flash. Jon was more cautious in his arrival. He was stunned to see that Uncle Alex was Audrey's teaching advisor, Alexander Kessington.

"Hello, Jonathan," the older man greeted him jovially. "It's good to see you again."

"Good to see you too, sir," he stammered unsure of what to make of the man's presence.

"Alex, please. This is a social call." Turning to the teen whom he treated as a younger relative, he said, "Shawn, be a good lad and help me bring in the boxes from the car."

As soon as they left the house, Jon pulled Audrey over to him with concern. This man was in frequent contact with Mr. Feeny in regard to the student teacher's progress at John Adams High.

"Audrey, what is going on?"

"Jon, it's okay. He knows and he's fine with everything. Don't worry."

"But why's he here?"

"He was coming to town to visit some friends and said he wanted to drop by. I asked if he would mind bringing my Christmas boxes from home."

Jon looked at her in surprise. "So that's why you didn't want to buy much today."

"Yes!" Her eyes were ablaze with an excited glow. "I wanted to surprise you and Shawn."

Her grin was contagious, and he couldn't help but to smile back at her.

Once Jon saw how much Christmas décor the boxes from New York contain he understood why they didn't need to buy much. Six large boxes contained more than enough to decorate Audrey's place from top to bottom with decorations to spare.

Professor Kessington stayed long enough to help unpack the decorations, have some coffee, and regal Shawn with stories of Christmases spent abroad. After he left, Jon pulled Audrey to the side again and they watched Shawn with the exuberance of a young child go through the boxes and begin to organize them in a way Jon had never seen him organize anything ever.

"You know," he said, putting his arm around her. It occurred to him that he was getting a little too comfortable with doing that, but he ignored the concern that presented itself to him in Mr. Feeny's voice. "I'm glad your advisor came by."

"Oh yeah?" she smiled up at him. She always thought the two would get along very well.

"Yeah," he said, giving her a squeeze. "I know George regrets making me your cooperating teacher due to what he believes is a conflict of interest. And maybe I don't have any business being your cooperating teacher. But..."

"Uh-huh?"

"I feel a lot better knowing that Professor Kessington has no business being your advisor. There is a definite conflict of interest there!"

Audrey gave a short laugh and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him down so they were nose to nose. "You gonna tell?"

He laughed. "Not me. I don't know nothin'!"

An abrupt call for help to untangle the lights from Shawn interrupted the moment between them.

It was late when they finally finished decorating the tree and after a dinner of take-out Chinese food, the three fell asleep in front of the television. Shawn woke up with his face smashed into the cushion of the sofa with the pillow he'd fallen asleep on laying on the floor. Jon was curled into the corner of the sofa still asleep. The spot where Audrey should have been empty. He was about to go back to sleep when the delicious, unmistakable aroma of Audrey's special pancakes hit his nostrils. In a moment, he was up and stumbling into the kitchen.

"Oooo," he said, trying to grab a link of sausage only to get his hand smacked. "Are we having breakfast for dinner?"

She shook her head and transferred the scrambled eggs to a large plate. "We're having breakfast for breakfast. It's Sunday morning, Shawn."

Suddenly, he was wide awake. "We spent the night?"

"On the couch. Turns out I'm not a big fan of sleeping sitting up."

"I wish we could do that every night," he sighed wistfully.

"Maybe one day," she said, giving him a small smile.

Not if Jon doesn't quit being dumb, he thought morosely.

"Do you mean that?" Shawn asked, wanting to make absolutely sure they were on the same page.

"Of course, I do."

"Audrey?"

She looked up from stirring the pancake mix and gave him her full attention.

"You love me, right?"

"You know I do." She frowned slightly, wondering if he was thinking about his father.

"I love you, too."

"What's this all about?"

"I was just thinking," he said. Suddenly he was a bit nervous about talking to her about this particular subject in a way he wasn't with Jon. "We're really good together, the three of us."

"I think so."

"When you're done student teaching are you going back to New York for good?"

"I don't know, Shawn." She went back to fixing breakfast. "I really haven't thought that far ahead. I guess a lot would depend on how my dad is doing."

Shawn was quiet for a long while. Finally, he said. "Do you want to go back without us?"

"Not if I don't have to."

Shawn didn't know how to ask what he really wanted to know, so he danced around it instead of directly asking. "Does it bother you that Jon's, like, a lot older than you?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. In fact, I'm not sure what we're actually talking about. "Actually, she was concerned that she did know what he meant. It wasn't something she'd talked to anyone about before.

"Like, would you date someone Jon's age?"

"It would depend on the person." She could not be direct any more than he could be.

Shawn scratched his fingernail across the tile of the kitchen island, unable to look her in the eyes. "What if the person is Jon?"

Should she answer him? She'd always prided herself on being honest with her students, but this was not a line of questioning she'd encountered before. But this was Shawn, after all, so she said, "If he asked, yes, I'd go out with him."

"Can I ask you something then?"

"Sure."

"Do you love him?"

Audrey let the pancake batter drop onto the hot griddle making several pancakes in a row. She was quiet for so long that Shawn worried he'd asked too much.

"I don't know how to answer that, Shawn," she said finally, putting the pancakes on a plate when they were done cooking. "I'm not sure I should."

Shawn let out a frustrated grunt. "Aw, you're as frustrating as he is! Mr. Feeny get to you, too?"

She looked up sharply. "What's Mr. Feeny got to do with this?"

Shawn didn't answer. He kicked the leg of the island.

"Shawn, I know you think things should be simple in this area..."

"I know, I know." He rolled his eyes and mimicked what Jon had told him before the NYC trip. "'Things aren't so black and white. I have to consider what's best for both of us'."

She looked surprised and a bit concerned. "I take it you've had this conversation before?"

"Lot of good it did," he grumbled.

"Shawn, I know how much you want us all to be together. I can't lie to you- I'd love for that to happen. But it is complicated, more than you know. And as hard as it is you're gonna have to let things play out on their own."

"But what if things get messed up and you go back to New York, and we never see you again?"

"Then we'll all have to accept that things weren't meant to be."

"No," he said defiantly, slapping his palms against the counter. "I won't and you can't make me. I may not know a lot, but I know this. Just like Cory and Topanga are supposed to get married and always be together so are you and Jon. I am right. I know I am."

Audrey was incredibly touched by his passion and support of them. She went over and pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek even though he stubbornly refused to acknowledge her. "You know," she said dropping her voice in a conspiratorial whisper. "I am not the problem here."

Shawn looked up at her and saw the grin she had on her face. He began to smile back.

"He is!" They said together and started laughing.

Jon, who just happened to walk into the kitchen right at that moment, looked at them quizzically.

"What are you two laughing at?"

"Nothing." Shawn grinned, sharing a secret look with Audrey. "I'm hungry. Can we eat now?"

Jon was not the artsy type, and he definitely was not the craftsy type, but he found himself sitting at the kitchen table amidst piles of paint, plaster, Popsicle sticks, and other assorted craft supplies that he didn't know the names of. Shawn, who also wasn't the craftsy type, was carefully following Audrey's directions on ornament assembly and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. Jon did the best he could to follow Audrey but was better suited to handing supplies to them than anything else. But Shawn wouldn't let him off the hook entirely and made him participate in making a few of the ornaments with them. It wasn't until they made pomanders that Jon felt confident in what he was doing. Sticking cloves in oranges and tying ribbons around them was something he could do without any problem.

Jon was tasked with hanging the pomanders while Shawn and Audrey cleaned up the kitchen. The house was now thoroughly decorated from floor to ceiling just like Shawn wanted. There were snowmen and poinsettias, Santas and snowflakes, and various holiday knickknacks all over. The centerpiece in the living room was the Nativity scene that Shawn spent over an hour meticulously setting up. And then rearranging. Multiple times. When they first finished the house, Jon was still a bit cynical about the holidays that didn't hold a lot of meaning to him. His initial thought, that he wisely kept to himself, was that the house looked like Santa's elves had broken in and puked all over the place. Almost as soon as he thought that he caught sight of how happy Shawn was. Audrey was even happier with Shawn's joy than she was with the way the decorating turned out. He had to willfully drop his attitude and defenses to be able to join them in the festive spirit. When he did, he saw that the house was nothing like the cold, store bought, professionally set up Christmas displays he grew up with. Their decorations were mismatched and imperfect, too much of some and not enough of others. But everything was done by them and for them. If Jon was being completely honest with himself, this was the Christmas that he wanted when he was twelve. It was family doing the holiday activities together; the people he loved with him actively engaged with each other. And for the first time in an exceptionally long time, he wasn't going to be alone for Christmas.

When Shawn finally showed them the ornament, he picked out in Glen Mills, Jon then realized how much things had changed for both. The ornament was a clear heart, framed in white poinsettias that were tied together at the top with a white bow. Hanging from the bow were two hearts. Etched in the glass were the words:

Our First Christmas Together

1994

Both he and Audrey knew the ornament was actually meant for a newlywed couple, but neither said a word about that as Audrey hung the ornament above the heart of the tree- exactly center, a place of honor amongst the others. Jon rearranged the lights so that they illuminated the heart and made it glow. Shawn stood between them, his arms around them both, looking so happy. This was not the same kid he took in seven months ago. That kid would not be standing there with them doing what other kids his age wouldn't want to do for the most part. But then seven months ago Jon himself wouldn't have been heading family festivities. Seven months ago, he would have been appalled by the thought of such a thing. But now standing there in the living room with Shawn and Audrey he finally had to admit that this- a family- was what he really wanted, and he hoped that every Christmas going forward would be like this one.

At school, Shawn downplayed any interest he had in holiday festivities as he still had a reputation to maintain. So unless something came up like a winter dance or something else that involved girls, Shawn maintained his disinterest. Cory and Topanga knew otherwise, but they did not know the extent of what was going on at home. It wasn't that Shawn didn't want them to know all that Jon and Audrey were doing for him- sometimes it was very hard not to say anything- it was just that he wanted to keep the experiences to himself for the time being. Many of the things he was doing with his caretakers were things that Cory and Topanga commonly did with their families. Some things- like going to the Christmas Village- were things they normally did but were not doing this year for whatever reason. Shawn knew they both loved going to the Philadelphia staple of the holiday season and would want to come along if they knew he was going. He also knew that Jon and Audrey wouldn't mind having a couple of extra people go with them. So, he felt a little guilty going without telling them, but Shawn did not want to share Jon or Audrey with anyone right now. Next year, he would ask if they could all go together. But not this year.

The Friday after the Christmas tree was set up Jon and Shawn went home with Audrey. Shawn honestly preferred Audrey's place over Jon's for two reasons: 1) it was a house not an apartment and 2) no one randomly came over uninvited nor walked in unannounced. Since both were a frequent occurrence at Jon's place, it was far less stressful for the three of them to be together at Audrey's.

The day before while Jon was in a union meeting at school, Audrey had taken him to the store to buy Christmas cards. Shawn couldn't wait to get these sent out to everyone. He had a four-page list detailing everyone whose name he could remember. With his list, the cards, pens, and the phone book Shawn took a seat at the kitchen table and got to work. When it came to sending cards to his family, he ran into a bit of an issue. The vast majority of his relatives were unlisted in the phone book as many had no permanent place of address. Some were at the trailer and many others in jail. Shawn wasn't sure how to get the cards to those in jail and didn't think Jon would appreciate being asked to do an in person visit to deliver them. It was probably best just to drop them all off at Uncle Mike's shop and let him be his mail carrier. Shawn smiled slightly at the thought of this. He wished he could be there to see his family's reaction to getting the cards. The Hunters didn't send Christmas cards unless there was a holiday threat inside. A card wishing them a simple Merry Christmas might make a few so nervous they'd go into hiding. Ah, well, Shawn wasn't going to let that dissuade him from spreading Christmas cheer. What they did with it was their business.

He was about halfway through his list when Jon walked into the living room. He saw Shawn's stack of completed cards and looked impressed.

"You about done?" he asked. The card onto top of the stack caught his attention.

"Almost."

"Who's Dude at the bus stop?" He pointed to the envelope he was looking at.

"You know the guy that's always waiting by the stop on Novak Lane but never gets on the bus?"

"Yeah."

"That's him."

"You know him?"

"Yeah. I say hi to him when I walk home with Cory."

"What's his name?"

"I don't know," Shawn shrugged. "That's why it says Dude at the bus stop."

Jon couldn't help but smile. "Hurry up if you can. We want to get going as soon as possible. We can drop these off tomorrow."

One of the earmarks of the Christmas season in Philadelphia was the German-style Christmas Village in Love Park. There were more than eighty booths of local and international merchants selling Käthe Wohlfahrt trimmings, winter apparel, handmade toys and all sorts of food and drinks. The Present, a 27-foot-tall walk-through gift box covered in thousands of red and white lights, with its own gift shop. The Village wrapped all around City Hall where the Philly Holiday Tree was. Every year there was more to do and see. It was one of those things that Shawn had always wanted to do, but never had the chance to. Aside from the expense, people like his family weren't the most welcome. Cory had wanted him to go with him in previous years, but it was one of those traditions that was restricted to the immediate family. Shawn understood that. Especially now.

With all that was going on, Jon began to get careless with his public behavior with Audrey and Shawn, Audrey especially. Getting caught up in the holiday spirit, the fact that they were not an actual family faded from his memory as well as the fact that they could all get into much trouble should the wrong people see them. He found himself frequently holding onto to Audrey either by hand or waist. Shawn, however, had not forgotten about potential busybodies and, wanting to encourage his teachers' budding relationship as much as possible, kept a close eye on the faces they passed by to make sure there was no one they knew in them. But even he grew haphazard in his vigilance as he got more engrossed in the activities around them. At one point, Jon left them to go get hot chocolate and coffee while Shawn and Audrey stood by a booth selling hand painted ornaments from the Ukraine looking over the picture the three of them just had taken with Santa. Shawn was talking to Audrey about the photo with his back to the crowd when he heard a voice formally call him by name. And the voice he heard made his blood run cold.

"Ah, Mr. Hunter. Curious to run into you here. And with Miss Andrews, too."

For a moment, Shawn panicked, worried that Jon might return too soon. He stared at Audrey with wide eyes and quickly gave the photograph to her. Then a sudden thought popped into his head and his anxiety disappeared as he turned to face his principal with a grim face, doing what he did best- being the troubled teen with a big attitude.

"Ah, man! You're here, too?" Shawn complained loudly, giving the older man an annoyed glare. "What is this? John Adams High teacher day at the Christmas Village? First, I have to come here with my English teacher, then I caught by Miss Andrews after gettin' away from him and now you," he shoved his hands out in Mr. Feeny's direction in frustration. "Don't tell me- Miss Tompkins and Mr. Williams are here too, aren't they? Did you guys take a bus here or somethin'?"

Shawn's was a very convincing act. Even Audrey was taken aback by the outburst initially. Mr. Feeny caught the displeased look she was giving Shawn and added in one of his own.

"Yes, well," he said, keeping an eye on Audrey. It seemed to be too much of a coincidence that the two were together. "So you've run off from Mr. Turner, have you?"

"I was going to stay with him until Jon caught up with him," Audrey explained. She'd hoped the principal had not seen her put the picture Shawn gave into her jacket pocket.

"You go on, Miss Andrews, I'll wait with him," Mr. Feeny said with a tight smile. "Mr. Hunter and I can catch up."

Audrey paused and Shawn looked back over shoulder at her. She looked away quickly so Mr. Feeny wouldn't see the look they exchanged.

"I guess I'll see you two at school Monday," she said with a frown.

Mr. Feeny gave her a pleasant smile and watched her leave. Shawn gave a silent sigh of relief when he saw her headed in the direction Jon would be coming from. He turned back to his principal, already planning an escape.

"If Mr. Turner was kind enough to bring you here," Mr. Feeny said with some concern. He took a step closer to the boy. "Why would you repay him by running off?"

Shawn shrugged. "Look around Mr. Feeny. Everyone is here with their families. Guess who's not?"

He jerked his thumb against his chest. "Me, that's who. I'm with my English teacher. Let's face it, this place is kinda lame anyway."

Mr. Feeny studied the teen intently. He was quiet for so long that Shawn began to sweat in fear the man wasn't buying his story.

"I understand that this must be a difficult time for you, Shawn, with your father still gone." he said kindly. "If Mr. Turner brought you here it must because he's trying to do something to make Christmas a bit better. Perhaps you shouldn't be so hard on him."

It was so very rare that Mr. Feeny ever addressed any of his students by name as he preferred to keep a strong distance between him and them. For him to call Shawn by his first name was an indication of his compassion and concern for his student. He felt horrible for lying to his principal, but at the same time he could not betray Jon and Audrey. Shawn couldn't stand to look at Mr. Feeny any longer, so stared down at his feet trying to figure out what to do. Just before his conscience got the better of him, Jon came running up to them, no coffee or hot chocolate or Audrey to be seen.

"There you are, Shawn!" Jon sounded like someone who was trying to sound like he was out of breath. "What's the big idea takin' off on me like that?!"

Shawn channeled all his guilt into a rude retort and crossed his arms across his chest. At Mr. Feeny's stern look, he dropped his arms, turned to Jon, and said, "Sorry. Just not feeling great right now."

Mr. Feeny motioned for Jon to come over to him. He took a few steps back so Shawn wouldn't overhear him. "I believe he's missing his father."

At that, Jon began to feel as guilty as Shawn did. "I figured," Jon replied uncomfortably. Truthfully, he hadn't thought of Chet Hunter even once in the last few weeks.

"Do you have this under control?"

"Yeah," the English teacher said. "Yeah, I think we'll be fine. Thanks for stayin' with him, George."

"Of course, Jonathan. Take care."

Jon turned his back on the principal so Mr. Feeny couldn't see the face he made. Shawn put a hand over his mouth to cover up his laugh.

"Oh, Jonathan."

Jon locked eyes with Shawn and mouthed, "There's more?"

"Yeah," he said, turning back around to face the older man.

"Miss Andrews was the one who caught him first," Mr. Feeny said. There was something in his voice that neither Jon nor Shawn quite understood. "I thought you'd like to know, so you could thank her." He paused and gave them both a very stern look. "On Monday."

He turned and left them standing there in the middle of the crowd staring at each other. "On Monday" seemed to contain an ominous threat of sorts. Jon did not like the implication of the last statement.

Shawn was fuming. "You want me to follow him and make sure he's leaving and isn't following us?"

"No," Jon said, looking to make sure the principal really had left. "We need to get Audrey and get outta here."

"What?! I don't wanna leave yet!"

"Calm down. We're not leaving. We're just gonna double back around the Park and hopefully we won't run into anyone else from school."

Run into someone else from the school they did. As the trio made their way around the Park, they purposely wove through the beer tasting area as they assumed it was an unlikely place to find Mr. Feeny. The people at the Beer Garden were in very high spirits from the variety of beer and spirits that they had been sampling for quite some time. There was one particularly jovially group singing Christmas Carols loudly and badly. Shawn wrinkled his nose and covered his ears as he walked by them. He had almost passed them when the dancing started. Someone grabbed him and pulled him into the dance. Offended at being touched by a stranger, Shawn jerked away and turned, ready to fight. When the offender faced him, he stared in surprise at the woman and dropped his hands.

"Miss Collins?"

"Shawn?" She stopped smiling for a moment and regarded him with wide eyes.

Shawn didn't know quite how to react to seeing his guidance counselor out in public or slightly drunk. Actually, she was his former guidance counselor. Miss Collins' tenure at John Adams High had been short-lived. According to Mr. Feeny, the high school was not a good fit for her; she was better suited elsewhere.

"Hey!" She grinned at him, then gave him a semi-serious look. "I think you're in the wrong part of the Village, don't you?"

It took Shawn a moment to figure out what she meant since what he was doing there and what she thought he was doing there were two very different things.

"Yeah, I'm-" Before he could get out "with friends", Jon leading Audrey by the hand caught up with him after being detained by a group of revelers.

"Jon!" she squealed delightedly. Her turn towards the teacher was abrupt, she stumbled a bit knocking into Shawn who backed away from her as quickly as she could.

"Devon?" The look on Jon's face was a mix of surprise and horror.

"I've been hoping to run into you somewhere."

"You have?" He glanced worriedly at Audrey. "Why?"

"You are the one person I really miss from John Adams High," she replied, very flirty with a slightly crooked grin.

John looked at his companions in confusion. He had no idea what she was talking about it, and he was genuinely concerned about what Audrey would make of this.

What the heck?! Shawn thought, thoroughly frustrated with the way the day was going. Why can't people just leave us alone?

Audrey stayed silent, but she didn't look happy.

"This is Devon Collins," Jon told Audrey. "She was Shawn's guidance counselor briefly."

"That's 'cause she got fired," Shawn injected rudely, wanting the conversation to be done with as quickly as possible.

Devon ignored both Shawn and Audrey and grabbed Jon's arm. He didn't move with her, so she slid both of her hands down his arm and forcibly disengaged his hand from Audrey's. The look of disgust that overtook Audrey's face was mirrored in Shawn's. Shawn immediately went to Audrey's defense, agitated and ready to fight.

"Come on," Devon tried to pull Jon along with her. "I've got some friends I want you to meet. You can join us- the Beer Flight tasting is about to start."

Jon jerked away from her and put his arm around Audrey. It wasn't the smartest thing to do considering their principal was wandering the grounds somewhere. But it was a risk he took since Devon didn't work at John Adams High anymore and the alcohol was likely to impair her memory. "No thanks. I've got plans.

Speaking of plans, Shawn was done with people ruining his, especially this way. He squared up to Devon ready to verbally take her on after the way she insulted Audrey. He felt Jon's hand around his arm, pulling him away.

"C'mon, Shawn. Let's go."

Devon was clearly offended and upset. She called after Jon, but he ignored her.

Shawn continued grumbling about her under his breath until Jon said, "We need to get out of this place. I'm gonna get in trouble having you two in here anyway."

"Why?" Shawn asked. He walked alongside Audrey with his arm through hers.

"You're both underage."

Shawn wrinkled his nose. "I thought the drinking age was 21."

"It is."

"So one of us is underage. Audrey's 21." He was surprised Jon had forgotten this.

"Oh, no, she's not," he remarked in a sing-song voice and shooting her a look.

The teen tugged at Audrey's arm. "Really? I thought you were."

Audrey gave Jon a dirty look. He was unbothered by it. "You wanna tell him, or should I?" he asked lightly.

"I'll be 21 in July," she said sulkily.

"Yes," Jon wasn't ready to let the subject go yet. "But that's not what her student teaching application says."

"I don't get it what's the big deal?"

Audrey let out a sigh. "My school is a little different when it comes to admittance into the program. They require you to be 21. My birthday is late, but I didn't want to wait another year before student teaching."

"So dear Uncle Alex fudged her record a bit."

"Only for the student teaching program not for school!" she cried defensively.

Shawn, being a Hunter, was delighted that they all had something on each other that could be used for blackmail purposes should the need arise.

"Ha!" he said to Jon. "You're the only one old enough to legally drink."

"Yeah, lucky me." he said. Suddenly, he felt incredibly old.

It was late by the time they finally made it back to Audrey's place, so they dropped her off and headed back to the apartment. At first Jon was afraid that he was going to have to carry Shawn inside as he had trouble waking the boy up. He managed to get him conscious enough to trudge inside and to his bed before the teen fell asleep again. Jon was about as tired as Shawn was and didn't even bother to change his clothes before getting into bed.

The next morning, Jon regretted his decision not to change his clothes; he felt grimy and gross. Before taking a shower, he thought it would be best to check on Shawn. He found the boy standing in the middle of the apartment looking around him in awe.

Someone, in the middle of the night, had decorated their apartment for the season. The decorations Jon inspected looked very much like the leftover ones from Audrey's place.

Shawn turned to Jon with a funny look on his face. "She was here last night."

"Looks like it."

"But she didn't let us know."

"I think that was the point."

Shawn smiled and gave him a meaningful look. "I think she loves us."

Jon was quiet for a while, before he finally said, "She loves you, Shawn."

The teen shook his head slightly, still smiling to himself. "We talk, you know."

"Right."

Shawn shrugged at the sarcastic remark. "Believe what you want."

Jon gave his charge a frown. "Hunter," he said warily. Curiosity was getting the better of him. "Do you know somethin'?"

Again, Shawn shrugged. Then his eyes lit up. "Hey, it's early. Let's go over to her place right now and have breakfast fixed for her when she gets up."

He knew they shouldn't do it. But then again, they shouldn't be doing any of this. But he said, "Not a bad idea, kid. Yeah, we can do that."

As they left the apartment, Jon couldn't help but ask again, "Shawn, do you know somethin'?"

Shawn grinned and took off running to the truck.

December was a month that was both loved and hated by teachers and students alike. Teachers and students both loved the month for its excitement and light spirits and holiday break. Teachers hated it because even the top students lost focus during the final weeks before break and everyone else was completely gone making it nearly impossible to get anything done. Students hated it because they were still in school. The last full week of school was finally over, and Shawn couldn't wait for Saturday morning. He even though he didn't know everything that was planned for the day, was brimming over with excitement to see how Jon and Audrey were planning to fulfill the rest of his Christmas list. After school, he and Jon went over to Audrey's as was the routine now. While the adults sat down on the couch to unwind after a long day, Shawn went directly to "his room" to change into a fresh sweatshirt. His room was the spare bedroom he'd taken over despite Jon insisting they weren't moving in. For the past few weeks, every time they went over to Audrey's, Shawn had taken it upon himself to bring a piece of clothing from his closet and Jon's. Just in case. He wasn't really sure what it was just in case of, but it felt necessary in a way he couldn't explain. He opened the closet door and inspected the clothing inside. He pushed Jon's shirts, the ones his teacher had been complaining about not being able to find, to the side looking for his gray hoodie. He rummaged around for a while until he remembered he was keeping his clothes in a pile in the drawers. Once he had the right sweater, he quickly changed and rejoined his teachers, plopping himself in between them and getting an annoyed look from Jon for it.

Chinese on the weekend was becoming a trend and Shawn liked it. After dinner Jon made Shawn do his homework and get it over before it was forgotten amid all they had planned for the weekend. Not long after he closed his last book, Cory called, and Shawn headed to his room to talk to him. Cory was stressed over what to get Topanga for Christmas and hoped Shawn might have some ideas. What should have taken a brief time to discuss dragged on for almost two hours as Eric kept interrupting them and disconnecting the call in an attempt to force Cory off the phone so he could talk to the girl of the week. Finally, Alan intervened and gave Eric the boot off the phone, and they were able to finish their call.

It was around 10 when he wandered out of the back bedroom and found Jon and Audrey already asleep on the couch in front of the TV. Audrey was curled against Jon in a tight ball, her head resting on his chest. Both of Jon's arms were wrapped around her. She looked cold. Shawn grabbed one of her thick knitted blankets from out of the basket near the couch. As gently as he could-he didn't want to wake them- he laid the blanket over them. He placed a pillow at the other end of the couch and gingerly wiggled into place, careful to not to put his feet too far down the cushion and accidentally bump Audrey. The blanket was so oversized that it was big enough to cover him as well. With the three of them under the same cover it soon became very warm. Within minutes, Shawn was fast asleep.

It was the smell of coffee and the shaking of the sofa that woke Shawn the next morning. He was startled by a coffee-scented earthquake and jumped into a sitting position only to find that it was Jon shaking him awake and not an actual earthquake.

"C'mon," Jon said. "We need to get to the apartment and change clothes. We're going out to eat this morning before we head to the mall."

"We don't need to go back," Shawn said, groggily. "We've got clothes here."

"Uh, no we don't. You must have been dreaming."

"We've got clothes in my room."

"You don't have a room here." Shawn was persistent, if nothing else, Jon had to admit. He still wouldn't let go of the idea of them moving in with Audrey.

"Yes, I do," the teen insisted, pointing at the door down the hall.

"Shawn, I told you we're not moving in."

"So don't move in," Shawn retorted, pushing the blanket to the side, and standing up. "Do what you wanna do and I'll do the same."

"Hunter..."

"Do you really wanna go all the way back to the apartment to change?"

They stood there staring at each for several minutes, one as stubborn as the other and neither wanted to concede.

"Fine," Jon huffed, tired of the standoff. "Let's see what you've got here."

When they finally joined her in the kitchen, Audrey didn't seem overly surprised to see that they had changed without leaving her place.

"Are we ready to go?" she asked, rinsing out her coffee mug.

"Yep. I'm hungry," Shawn said. "Where are we eating?"

"I thought we'd stop at this place on North 22nd Street," Jon told them. "Sun Happy Diner, somethin' like that."

"Sounds good to me," Shawn said heading towards the door.

"Wait," Audrey grabbed her purse and coat from the closet. "Isn't North 22nd Street a long way off from Franklin Mills?"

"Yeah, about that." Jon had changed their destination early that morning and hadn't yet had a chance to tell them. "I thought we'd get out of Philly and head to King of Prussia. They've got a pretty big mall out."

"Works for me," she shrugged.

"Great," Shawn said, trying to rush them along. "It works for everyone. Can we please leave?"

It appeared everyone had the idea to head out of town to shop for the holidays. A normally 50-minute drive took over a hour. Shawn entertained himself by backseat driving until he'd annoyed Jon to the point that Audrey shushed him. Once at the mall, it seemed to take another hour just to find a parking spot.

Once they finally made it inside, Shawn was duly impressed by the size of the mall. King of Prussia had been built in 1963 and was the third largest mall in America. It was huge and new to Shawn which meant there was plenty of trouble to be found there. For once, Shawn wasn't interested in finding trouble. He was focused on his Christmas gift list. Jon had given him a budget he was expected to stick to. Shawn had the sneaking suspicion that this was done solely to force him to do math with the holiday break right around the corner. And yet the man still denied being his math teacher.

Shawn ran his finger down the list of names: Cory, Topanga, his dad, Uncle Mike, that cute blonde in Mr. Williams' class. There were a couple of other family members on there with Uncle Mike. Jon gave him explicit instructions when it came to buying for the family: nothing could be bought out of the trunk of a car or from the interior of a coat; nothing with filed off serial numbers. Which left Shawn with no clue what to get his family.

They were going to split up and meet back at the mall entrance in an hour, but Shawn decided after they'd gone off in different directions to go with Audrey to find something for Jon.

Jon had to navigate the crowds on his own, which was fine. He needed the space to think anyway. The past month had been such a whirlwind between school and fulfilling Shawn's list that he'd had little time to himself. It the quiet moments he had in the mornings before Shawn was up or after the teen and Audrey had fallen asleep on the couch, those two weighed heavily on his mind. He knew that nothing that was happening right now- spending so much time together, falling asleep on the couch, everything in between- could continue after Christmas. It absolutely could not and should not continue. Despite knowing with absolute certainty what the right thing to do was, he resented having to do it. He didn't want to limit his time with Audrey. He didn't want to end their time as a family. He didn't want to let go of the people he cared so much about because of how it looked to other people. He didn't want anything to change.

Jon knew where he was going, but it wouldn't take long to get what he wanted. Shawn's gifts had been bought awhile back and he was really on his own to get a gift for Audrey. So, he meandered through the mall, killing time more than anything and thinking. Eventually, he found himself outside of the store he intended on shopping at. It was a small, local jewelry store. The last time he'd been in one it had not been a pleasant experience. This time was different. He wanted to be there.

The store was busy and so were all the employees Jon wandered the displays looking at the jewelry options. For some reason he came to a stop in front of the engagement rings. There was one that caught his attention. It wasn't the flashiest ring in the display but very pretty. A simple, princess cut diamond the perfect size for the small, slim finger of a dancer. Jon stared at the ring for a long time. Shawn's begging for an engagement ring came back to him as did Kat's demand for one.

It was a beautiful ring.

"I see you found the ring you want."

Jon looked up to see an older woman behind the counter smiling knowingly at him.

"Ah, no, no. I was just looking," he stammered. He was embarrassed to be caught looking at the rings.

"Doesn't look like you were just looking," she smirked. "Looks like you just found it."

Jon took a step back from the display. "I'm here for a necklace. July birthstone."

The woman knew better. She'd seen too many men like the one in front of her come into her store and immediately find a ring they were clearly interested in, then claim to be looking for something else. They might leave with another piece of jewelry, but they always came back for the ring.

Reluctantly, Jon turned away from the ring. There was no point in even entertaining the idea of buying it. He'd never use it. He didn't even know how Audrey felt about him and he wasn't going to ask.

The woman helped him pick out the necklace, but she kept talking the ring and giving him all the information about it he'd never asked for. She even told him that the ring could be reserved until he was ready to pick it up.

"How long?" He heard himself asking.

"Up to two years."

Jon tapped his fingers against the counter. He caught sight of the clock hanging above the back exit of the store. He had to meet Shawn and Audrey in ten minutes. He looked back at the woman who gave him a knowing smirk.

It wouldn't hurt if he was a few minutes late in meeting them.

About five minutes after they met up, the trio split up once again, this time Shawn went with Jon.

"Did you get everything you wanted?" He asked the boy.

"Yeah."

Jon arched an eyebrow and gave him a serious look.

"It all meets your requirements," Shawn rolled his eyes at the look his teacher was giving him. "Nothing from a trunk or coat and everything has a serial number."

"Did you stick to the budget?"

"Of course, I did. Audrey was with me. By the way, I don't appreciate the math lesson."

"It's not like you'll be doing any of that over the break."

Shawn was about to make a retort to this, when he caught sight of a very large mural of soldiers, rats, and ballet dancers that depicted... well, he wasn't sure.

"What is that?"

Jon looked at the billboard then back at the teenager in disbelief. The boy was standing right in front of very large text that explained the advertisement.

"Try reading."

Shawn rolled his eyes again to make it clear he did appreciate having to do anything school related on the weekend.

"Philadelphia Ballet presents George Balanchine's the Nutcracker at the Academy of Music. Tickets on sale now," he read aloud. "Oh."

"Now that is a Christmas tradition that wasn't on your list," Jon informed him. He didn't know much about the ballet, but he did know that. He even had to sit through a performance or two in his life.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Audrey loves ballet." Shawn had a faraway look in his eyes.

"Yes, she does." Jon could see the wheels in the boy's head were starting to turn.

"We love her."

"Yeah, we d-" Jon gave him a disapproving look. He didn't appreciate being tricked into admitting what he didn't want to talk about. "She would love this." he corrected himself.

"Could we take her?"

"I don't see why not."

"Good. If it makes her happy, I'll sit through the ballet."

"Yeah, me too." Jon sighed. He felt incredibly bothered by something, he just couldn't put his finger on what it was.

They met up with Audrey an hour later and stayed together for the rest of the day. When they finally left the mall several hours after they'd arrived, they found the parking lot and surrounding areas blanketed in an inch of snow. Snow still fell with no signs of stopping any time soon.

"This worked out well," Audrey said taking Jon's arm as they crossed the slippery pavement. "I wasn't sure how we were going to take Shawn sledding if it didn't snow."

"I know," Jon said. "This is convenient."

The drive back was slow, thanks to the weather. But they made it back early enough to get Cory and head to the nearby park known for its hills. The first real snow of the year brought everyone and their families to the park with their sleds. Audrey had been sledding as a child many, many times both in New York and in Hertforshire, England where most of the her mother's family resided. Cory was also a frequent sledder with an older model sled passed down to him from Eric. Shawn had often gone sledding with Cory on small hills near the Matthews' house using Cory's sled or trash can lids or cardboard as he'd never had his own sled. Jon had never been sledding, only skiing, and his mistake was in admitting this to the three he was with.

"Why do they call this a Torpedo?" Jon asked Cory about the sled he and Shawn had gotten the day before.

"I think it's supposed to be really fast," Cory said.

Shawn thought it was a good idea that he and Cory try the new sled together. Abandoning his sled to the adults, Cory raced after Shawn who zeroed in on the largest hill in the park.

Whether it was the sled or the icy patch they hit halfway down the hill, neither Cory nor Shawn made it to the bottom on the sled during their first run. They were thrown sideways in opposite directions. They ended up sitting on the hill watching the Torpedo fly away from them before running to chase it down. Hooting and hollering their way back to the top, they coerced Jon into going too. Their teacher was adamantly opposed to sliding down a hill on anything, particularly the "piece of plastic" that was the third sled.

His attitude was lousy until Cory and Shawn challenged him to a race: Jon and Audrey against the two of them. Shawn nudged Cory at the change in their teacher's demeanor that occurred when Audrey got involved. They grinned gleefully at each other. Jon's opinion of sledding seemed to change after a few runs down the smaller hills.

They stayed for a long time sliding down and running up the hills until they were too out of breath to go on. Audrey called the boys over to get warmed up with a cup of hot cocoa from a nearby vendor.

Shawn was still drinking his chocolate when Cory called his name. Shawn turned and was met by a ball of snow exploding in his face. He let out a yelp and quickly gathered ammunition to retaliate. Cory ducked and Shawn watched with horror as the snowball hit Jon squarely in the neck. The boys watched as Jon, in seemingly slow motion, shook the snow from his collar and out of his shirt. He turned to face them. He did not look happy.

"You're dead, Hunter," he said grimly advancing toward the boys.

Automatically, Shawn pointed to blame Cory who adamantly shook his head and waved his hands to say he didn't do it.

"Oh, you're in on this, too, huh, Matthews?" Jon slowly began to packed a very large snowball. Shawn and Cory exchanged worried looks.

A full fledge fight erupted between the three with snow and some grass flying everywhere. Shawn tried to get Audrey on the boys' side, but Jon wouldn't allow it. Finally, the white flag for both sides flew at the same time. They were cold and wet when they made it back to the truck.

After dropping Cory off at his house, the trio made their way back to Audrey's. Shawn immediately went to shower and changed into dry clothes. When he came back to the living room, he was greeted by steaming hot chocolate on the table. Next to the mugs were bowls of marshmallows and some kind of nut.

Shawn leaned over the bowl to inspect the contents.

Chestnuts! He thought with delight. That's what a chestnut is? They were somehow less impressive than the song made them out to be.

Jon built a fire in the fireplace and Audrey brought in some roasting sticks for the marshmallows. There wasn't much talk as they were all tired. Shawn licked the sticky residue of melted marshmallow from his fingers, then reached for some of the chestnuts. Audrey smiled at him as he leaned his head against her and put his feet on Jon. Rather than shoot him a sarcastic look like he expected his teacher to do, Jon gave him smile as his finished his hot chocolate.

The day was perfect as far as Shawn was concerned and he didn't need anything else. But around 7 Jon stood up and asked Audrey if she was ready to go.

"Where are we going?" Shawn asked, helping to carry dishes into the kitchen.

"Christmas lights," was all Jon said giving him a tired smile.

Shawn had almost forgotten that seeing the neighborhood Christmas lights was on his list. They ended up driving through as many neighborhoods as they could. Jon was so tired that he had Audrey drive, but he seemed to enjoy himself almost as much as Shawn. There was something strange in the air that night and it wasn't just the competing Christmas music coming from every other house either. Something seemed so different this year. Shawn didn't know what it was, but he liked it. He turned his attention to his teachers. He liked them, too. And he hoped that things would stay like this even after Christmas was over.

Chapter Text

It was the 22nd of December. A light snow fell onto the already fallen snow that had been accumulating over the past week. It was cold and despite an offer of a ride from Mr. Matthews, Shawn opted to walk home.

The last three weeks seemed too surreal to Shawn, almost as though they had been a dream rather than reality. He had to continually look over all the mementos he'd collected and pictures he'd taken of over the course of the month to assure himself that everything had actually happened. There were only a few things left to be fulfilled on his list and he already knew that they were going to happen. Jon and Audrey made sure to take care of everything he'd asked for, often going above and beyond for him.

Shawn trudged through the snow in the new snow boots Audrey insisted that he wear if he was going to be out in the cold. He dragged his feet along the sidewalk leaving two long trails in his wake. When he first made out his list, he thought that it was comprised of simple things that didn't cost much. It wasn't until he overheard Mr. Matthews talking to his wife about the expense of Christmas and detailing the cost of almost everything on his list that he realized that Jon and Audrey must have been spending a lot on him. An awful guilt hung heavily on his heart. He knew Jon didn't make much as a teacher and would never ask his parents for any kind of help. He also knew that Audrey didn't make much either at Hannigan's and depended on tips to supplement her income to a livable amount. Every day that passed they did more and more together, almost constantly going somewhere, eating out; even the stuff they did at home- the ornament material, food, all that stuff had to be bought. All that stuff cost money. He never thought his list would be so expensive and he didn't mean for it to be. He just didn't know.

In that light, he didn't understand why they went ahead and did everything anyway. He really would have just been happy to have Audrey with them and a small tree. That would have been enough. It would have been much more than he'd had in any Christmas past. Shawn sighed and stopped walking. Maybe he should get a job, even if it was just some small something he could do to earn a little money and start to repay them. He wished he'd thought of that sooner so he could have asked Mrs.  Matthews if there was any chance she needed a new babysitter for Morgan.

Audrey wanted him home by 3- they had a full afternoon and evening schedule. He started walking again, this time at a faster pace. After all she had done for him, he owed it to her to be on time. Not too far from the apartment, Shawn passed Dude by the bus stop. The man sat in the cold, seemingly unbothered by the snow piling up around him. He was talking to the beer can he held in his hand. Shawn stopped and watched him for a while. There was something disturbingly mesmerizing in his melodic chat to the alcohol in his grip. The ground around the man was littered by an increasing pile of cans and paper sacks that Shawn knew also contain alcohol. This was the man's life, day in and day out, no matter the weather. Where was his family? Were they looking for him? Did he leave them? Did he have kids somewhere he walked out on? What happened that he ended up here?

A dark thought struck Shawn. Was his father sitting by a bus stop somewhere doing the same thing? He had on more occasions than Shawn could count, done essentially the same thing in their trailer: sitting in one spot, talking to himself, surrounded by booze. He was as nonthreatening and docile as Dude seemed to be, that is, until he wasn't. The slightest thing could set him off and there was never a way to tell what you were going to do that would trigger the rage. Shawn reconsidered his decision to say hello to the man every time he passed by. There was no telling if that simple act would set him off or not.

Shawn started to move again-this time he ran. As he did, thoughts of his father's drunken fits chased him. He swore he could hear Chet roaring in fury just behind him. He panicked and raced faster, desperate to get to the safety of the apartment and Jon. But memories of his father pursued him. The taunts and the insults echoed like the bellowing of the ocean in his ears reminding him of how worthless he was, how useless, how much easier life would be without him. He felt the sharp, painful sting of an open palm against his cheek.

Audrey was waiting for Shawn to get back while Jon ran an errand. She had just brought in the mail and set it on Jon's desk when she heard the door open and slam shut. She looked up to see Shawn standing in front of the door with red, wind-chilled cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

"Shawn! What's happened!?"

He started walking towards her and didn't stop. He walked right into her, pushing her backwards. He wrapped his arms around her and held on as though she was all he had left in the world. He pressed his cheek into her collarbone, burying his cold nose against her neck. He shivered against her and continued shaking. The tears fell hot and heavy and once they started would not stop.

He was still crying when Jon walked in. It took the teacher a long moment to process the scene in front of him. As he cautiously approached Audrey, she looked up and gave him a sad, confused smile.

"What's going on?" he asked in a hushed voice. "Did his dad call?"

She shook her head, then shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I think he's overwhelmed."

Jon felt useless as he watched Shawn cry. He had no idea what to do or say. He thought everything was fine; better than fine actually. He thought everything was going really well. But seeing Shawn like this made it clear everything was not okay. Not at all. How long had this been going on?

Audrey was struggling to hold herself and Shawn up as his sobs shook them both and he was nearly as tall as she was. All Jon could think of doing was to stand behind her and put his arms around them both. Neither of the adults knew how long they stood there, but eventually Shawn calmed down just enough that they could understand what he was saying:

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems. I didn't mean for you to spend so much on me. I'm sorry I'm such a problem. I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

Audrey looked helplessly at Jon; she had no idea what sparked this. He could offer no help; he was as lost as she was. Audrey tightened her grip on Shawn and leaned her head against his, gently talking to him, reassuring him that they loved him and that everything was all right; that he had nothing to apologize for. Her persistent reassurance eventually quieted the sobs, but they didn't stop completely.

Audrey looked up at Jon and silently encouraged him to say something. But what? Jon's mouth went dry as he tried to come up with something. Finally, he stopped thinking and echoed Audrey:

"Shawn, it's okay. Audrey's right, you have nothing to apologize for. We do love you."

At that Shawn pulled back from Audrey enough so that he could see his teacher clearly.

"You do?"

The "you" was directed solely at Jon. It was one thing to hear "I love you" from Audrey; she loved easily and completely and did not have an issue saying so or showing it. But he and Jon were cut from the same fabric in this regard. Love did not come easily to them and admitting it was even harder.

"Yeah, I do, Shawn." He looked down at Audrey who mouthed "he needs to hear it from you". They were words he did not say to anyone. The last person he said "I love you" to was his mother and even then, it was very hard for him to get out. "I do love you, kid."

Shawn buried his face in Audrey's shoulder again, but this time he reached behind her to grab a hold of his teacher.

"I love you, too," he said through hiccupping sniffles. "Both of you."

They stood there until Shawn was able to stand on his own. Audrey took his face between her palms and put her forehead against his.

"I'm so glad I didn't go back to the City for Christmas," she smiled at him.

Once they left the apartment to go to their first event of the day, there was no indication that anything unusual had happened earlier. Except for one thing. Wherever they went- whether it was ice skating, or on the sleigh ride to the Nutcracker, or at the Christmas Lights Show at the Wanamaker Building- Shawn stayed between them making sure he always had a hold of them both. He was terrified of accidentally losing one of them in the crowd.

Christmas Eve

Jon was running a little behind schedule. There was a water main break near the apartment that led to a flooding issue in the building. As a result, he had to go back to his place and pick up what he and Shawn would need to for the next two days before heading to Audrey's.

This past month had really messed with his head. Throughout December, he had frequently been mistaken for Shawn's father or Audrey's husband. Never her boyfriend, which Jon thought was odd. He never could figure out what it was he was doing that made the distinction. Regardless, he found himself going along with people's assumptions and did not bother to correct them. He fully committed to the father/husband role as though it was the most natural thing in the world, and no one knew the difference. It was not natural, of course. He was neither father nor husband. And he kept repeating to himself that he did not want to get married, and he did not want to have kids. He did not. He did not. He did not. But there must have been something about the festive season that prevented these words from taking hold because even though he was still chanting them in his head as he walked into the living room where Audrey stood on the threshold between that room and the kitchen, he greeted her with a kiss as though she was actually his wife.

They stared at each other for a long moment, both too shocked to move. Jon was horrified. It was one thing to hold her hand or to hold onto her. That was bad enough. It was quite another to kiss her. This was breaking about every boundary imaginable.

What on earth was wrong with him?

"I'm sorry," he finally got out, deeply mortified. "I wasn't thinking. I just-"

"It's okay, Jon, really," she said a little too brightly. Her cheeks were flushed with a crimson blush, and she had trouble meeting his gaze. She pointed to the ceiling above them. "Shawn's mistletoe. It was bound to happen."

It was true about the mistletoe. Shawn had hung the plant or something that looked like it from every conceivable place in the house. And he made its purpose very clear.

"Right," Jon said and tried to laugh it off.

Thankfully, Shawn walked in and saved them from any further awkwardness.

"You're not dressed," he informed Jon with a disappointed frown.

"Yeah, Shawn, about this," Jon wasn't ready to trade one embarrassment for another just yet. "I'm all for doing the Toy Drive- I think it's a great idea. I just really don't wanna dress up as Santa Claus."

"You wanna be the elf?" Shawn gave him an amused look.

"I don't wanna dress up period."

"Oh, come on, Jon," Audrey said. "It's for a good cause."

"I know," he said, already knowing how this was going to end despite his protests. "I just don't see the need to dress up."

"The shelter's Santa bailed on them," Shawn reminded him. "They need someone to do this."

"Does it have to be me?"

"I'm too short and nobody's gonna believe Audrey is Santa."

Jon hung his head. He really did not want to do this. Audrey took his arm and leaned into him, resting her chin on his shoulder. He gave her a sideways glance.

"If you'll be Santa, I'll be your Mrs. Claus," she grinned cheekily at him.

He let out a short laugh. Propriety and boundaries had been trampled on long ago; no use trying to reestablish them now. "In that case," he grinned back at her, putting his arm around her. "Where's the suit?"

It was on the way to the Apple Tree Family Central Center shelter that Jon and Audrey heard for the first time how Shawn and his mother had spent a Christmas at the shelter when he was eight. He didn't offer a lot of details about the stay or the reason behind it, but he had always wanted to go back one Christmas to help the kids there have a better Christmas than what they would have otherwise. After hearing Shawn's story, Jon never uttered another complaint about being Santa and put everything he had into playing the role.

He also didn't complain when they went home and spent almost four hours in the kitchen baking and icing everything Shawn wanted for Christmas. And he didn't complain when the Christmas caroling with the neighborhood group went on longer than he would have preferred.

That night the trio joined the Matthews and Topanga for a candle lit service at the Matthews' church. It had been a long time since Shawn had attended a service and even longer for Jon. Both found an unusual peace in the place even though it was crowded with people. After the service was over, Shawn, Cory, and Topanga exchanged their Christmas gifts while the adults talked. Morgan was running up and down the aisles, shrieking hysterically at Eric's failed attempts to catch her.

While the kids were chatting about their holiday break, Shawn saw a Ghost of Christmas Future coming down the aisle to haunt them.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Hunter."

Shawn was frozen in wide-eyed horror as their principal walked up to them. His heart sank. Just like that, the dream he was living was over. There was no hiding the fact that he, Jon, and Audrey were together. He gave the older man a weak smile. "Yeah, Merry Christmas, Mr. Feeny.

"Mr. Matthews, Miss Lawrence, Merry Christmas."

"You too, Mr. Feeny," they said in unison. Cory and Topanga exchanged concerned looks with each other then looked at Shawn who had his head bowed in defeat.

Mr. Feeny stopped in front of the Matthews and Jon and Audrey. Alan saw the looks on the other couple's faces and took a guess as to what was wrong.

"Merry Christmas, George," he said lightly. "Good to see you."

"And you as well, Alan. Amy," he said, taking her hand in warm greeting. "Merry Christmas."

Amy returned his greeting with a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so glad everyone was able to come tonight," Alan said, gesturing at the group around them as though they were altogether.

Shawn held his breath as Mr. Feeny turned to Jon and Audrey.

The older man regarded the younger couple with a veiled look. "I see you brought Miss Andrews with you," he said to Jon.

There was no point in trying hide the obvious, so the English teacher nodded. "Yeah, I did."

"Good," he said, surprising everyone. To Audrey, he smiled, "I'm glad you're not spending your first Christmas in Philadelphia alone. You've got an excellent group," he turned to look at Shawn and then again at Jon, "to spend it with. Merry Christmas, my dear."

No one was quite sure what to make of the exchange as Mr. Feeny bid them all farewell. That their principal said nothing about the three of them being so obviously together floored Shawn. He figured this had to be one of those Christmas miracles that he'd heard so much about.

The day was almost over by the time the trio made it back to Audrey's. The stockings were hung: three matching, personalized stockings. A fire was lit, cookies and popcorn were brought out, and a Muppet Family Christmas played on the TV. As the night went on, Shawn fell asleep in his usual spot as Audrey rubbed his head. Sometime after 10:30 the phone rang, and Jon answered it.

"Hey, Jonny, man! What are you doing right now?"

Eli was practically yelling into the receiver and Jon still had trouble understanding him. Wherever he was it was loud. Very loud.

"Watchin' TV. What are you doin'?"

"What am I-? Man, I'm at Bill's bachelor party. Did you forget?

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"You have got to get down here. Like an hour ago."

"Oh, yeah?"

His best friend went on to describe in great detail the wild, debaucherous party that was occurring and how much he was missing.

"And there is this hot blonde that you have got to meet. I'm tellin' you, you will not have to spend Christmas alone this year."

Jon looked down at Audrey who was by his side and beginning to drift off to sleep. He looked at the boy sleeping with his head on her lap. His gaze drifted to the kid's program that was playing on the television screen.

"Thanks for thinking of me, Eli," he said. Audrey shifted her position and snuggled closer to him. "But I'm good."

Eli thought he'd misheard him due to all the noise. When Jon confirmed he had heard him correctly, Eli couldn't believe it. "Give yourself a Christmas gift and get over here!" he exclaimed. Over the past few months and this one in particular, the Jon he knew was almost completely gone. He didn't even recognize the man he was talking to. Maybe he had the wrong number.

"I'm good," Jon said again as the Swedish Chef attempted to turn Big Bird into Christmas dinner. "Really."

"Whatever you say, man," Eli said with a heavy sigh. "You're missing out."

"Merry Christmas, Eli."

"Yeah, same to you. Tell the wife and kid Merry Christmas for me."

Jon hung up the phone and set it back on the table. The wife and kid comment was of course as jab at all the time he'd been spending with the two on the couch with him. But he didn't care. One day, Eli would understand. He settled back against the couch and saw Audrey looking up at him. Her gray eyes were beginning to cloud up.

"That was Eli?"

"Uh-huh." He ran his fingers through her long locks then pulled her a little closer.

"What did he want?"

"A friend of ours from college is having a party. He wants me to go."

"I thought you said there weren't any Christmas parties you wanted to go to."

"There aren't." He paused to sink further down into couch so he could be closer to her. "It's a bachelor party."

A frown crossed her face. The light from the television cast shadows across her face that made her look like a forlorn Disney character. "If you want to go," she said hesitantly, afraid that he did want to go. "Shawn can stay with me."

Jon looked into those stormy eyes that were staring at him with such a fearful worry. He smiled and ran his thumb over her cheek.

"I don't wanna go," he said softly. "Everything I want is right here."

Shawn, who had woken up during the phone call, let a silent sigh of relief, before falling back to sleep.

Christmas Day

Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light...

The next morning, Jon was the first to wake up and he found himself in a peculiar position. Somehow, during the night, he had moved from the end of the couch where he'd fallen asleep to the middle. He wasn't sure how he got there. His feet were still resting on a pillow on the coffee table, and he was still under the blanket. He started to sit up only to find it difficult with two heads resting against his chest. Shawn and Audrey were laying on either side of him, slightly stretched out, and using his him as a pillow. Shawn had his arms wrapped around him and Audrey had hers wrapped around them both. As much he wanted to move- his lower back was not happy with the position it had been kept in all night- he was afraid that it would disturb them and, strangely enough, he didn't want the moment broken.

Jon leaned his cheek against Audrey's head, slowly stroking her hair and watching the snow fall through the window that was to the left of the tree. Christmas morning was finally here, and realization left him with an empty feeling inside. After today, it would all be over. They'd have to go back to the way things were before.

But could they? Could things really go back to being the same after the month they'd had?

Jon never anticipated that fulfilling Shawn's Christmas list would change him the way it had. In years past, he would have been eager to have and would have been searching to have a Christmas like Eli was having. He thought about his best friend's description of the party he was at. It was just a short time ago he would have been the one dragging Eli to that kind of bachelor party, but now as his "wife and kid" slept in his arms, he found it hard to see what the appeal in that had been. How that was better than this. He began to wonder why he fought against the family life so hard.

If only he could keep it.

Audrey was the next to awaken. She sighed sleepily as she turned her face into his shirt a little more before titling her head back and giving him a lazy smile.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose.

Her smile widened and her eyes closed again. "Merry Christmas."

He was thankful she didn't get up. She reached out her slim hand and lovingly stroked Shawn's hair.

She's such a good mother and she's only twenty, he thought in awe.

Jon wasn't focused on anything in particular other than being in the moment when a thought crossed his mind. The last time he'd heard from Chet Hunter was almost two months ago and he'd mentioned to Jon that he would send paperwork for him to become Shawn's legal guardian. He'd agreed to do so, but it always bothered him that Chet could so easily give his kid to someone he didn't know. If Shawn was his son, there was no way he'd let anyone he didn't know extremely well take him in. On the other hand, if Shawn was his, he'd never taken off on him to begin with.

If Shawn was his...

Where'd that come from?

He ran his knuckles lightly down Audrey's back as the thought continued to nag him.

It wasn't possible, of course. No one in his position would be allowed to adopt a kid. But if he and Audrey were married, together they could. Jon frowned. There was no point in even allowing himself to consider the possibility. Both marriage and adoption were out of the question.

Merry Christmas to me, he thought bleakly.

As if she read his mind, Audrey pulled herself into a sitting position and began to run her fingers through his hair much the way she did to Shawn.

"You're going to make such a great dad," she said softly.

He looked at her in surprise but found that he couldn't say anything.

Audrey gave him a small smile then leaned into him and lightly kissed him. She leaned her head against his and they sat like that until Shawn woke up.

The teen sat up and when he saw the way they were looking at him he became worried.

"What'd I miss?"

"We were kissing," Jon told him in dead seriousness.

Shawn stared at him. He couldn't tell if his teacher was being sincere or just giving him a hard time.

"You were not," he snapped, not appreciating the joke after all he'd gone through to set up the mistletoe and nothing had come of it.

"Believe what you want," Jon shrugged in exactly the same way teen frequently did to him.

Shawn laughed and Audrey reached over Jon to hug him.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

From now on our troubles will be out of sight...

Shawn's expectations for gifts for himself were not high. He really didn't expect much after all Jon and Audrey had done for him. Anything would have made him happy. He already had everything he wanted anyway. So when he opened his first gift from them, he was stunned. It was the pair of Rollerblades he'd been eyeing at the Franklin Mills Mall every time he and Cory went there to hang out. He wasn't even aware that Jon or Audrey knew he wanted these exact ones. And he felt his expression of gratitude was inadequate.

Shawn watched Jon and Audrey exchange gifts as he held the inline skates in his arms. He knew Audrey had gotten Jon a watch, but he didn't know what Jon had gotten her. He couldn't help but be disappointed that the jewelry box ended up containing a necklace and not a ring.

When it was his turn to give them his gifts, he was nervous. Not about the wallet he'd gotten Jon or the earrings that he'd gotten Audrey-he knew that they'd like those things. But it was the joint gift he'd made for them.

"It's for both of you," he said as he handed the rectangular package to Jon. "I was kind of hoping that we'd watch it together every year."

Jon and Audrey gave him a quizzical look as Jon opened the gift. It was a VHS tape labeled "Our First Christmas 1994". The couple smiled at each other and at Shawn.

"Can we watch it now?" Audrey asked.

Shawn gave her a curt nod. The palms of his hands were suddenly sweaty and his mouth dry.

As the video played, Jon understood why Shawn had been insistent on hauling around the video camera from school wherever he could-he'd been documenting the entire month of December. He sat quietly watching the tape, leaning forward on the edge of the couch with his hand over his mouth. At one point Audrey looked over at him and saw the tears that were shining in his eyes. She reached over to him and took his  hand. It was a lengthy film and they watched it all the way through. When it was over, Jon reached over to Shawn and pulled him over to sit in between them.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas make the Yule-tide gay. From now on your troubles will be miles away...

"Best gift I've ever gotten, Shawn," he said quietly.

"Really?" Shawn had never seen his teacher teary-eyed before.

"Uh-huh."

"That was amazing, Shawn," Audrey told him. "You got a real talent. I love it so much."

Shawn couldn't hide his pride. He was so relieved and pleased that they were so happy with it.

"I'm so glad you thought to film everything," Jon said. "It didn't even occur to me to take pictures."

"Oh, I did a lot of that, too," he told them. He jumped up and grabbed the ancient camera that Mr. Matthews had let him borrow.

Jon gave Audrey a sly look and she smirked back at him.

"You think we should give him his last present?" he asked her.

"Seems like the right time," she said, pointing to a box under the tree that Shawn had somehow missed seeing before.

"You guys really didn't have to get me anything else. Like really. This," he motioned to the room. "is more than enough."

"Tough, kid," Jon joked. "Open the box."

Shawn smiled and sat down to open the last gift. He tore the paper off and stopped. He stared at the box beneath the paper.

No way it was what it said it was on the box. IT couldn't be. It had be a joke and there was something else in the box. No way was there really a Canon Rebel S 35mm SLR camera in that box.

But there was.

Shawn was stunned. It was the most beautiful camera he'd ever seen. And it was his. All his.

Audrey leaned against Jon, took his hand, and interlaced her fingers with his as they watched the wonderment on Shawn's face as he examined the gift. The teen finally turned to them with tears in his eyes. He was speechless and the only thing he could do was hug them as tightly as possible.

Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather  near to us once more...

Audrey spent most of the day in the kitchen, preparing dinner with Jon's help. Shawn spent it wearing his Rollerblades and studying his camera. After dinner both Jon and Shawn helped clean the kitchen and dining room up. There was quietness in the house as the evening drew near and with it the final hours of their time as a family.

Jon was struggling to deal with the emotions that kept crashing over him throughout the day. Audrey walked into the kitchen to let him know that Home Alone was about to start. He stared at her with a serious expression.

"What do we do tomorrow?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. Audrey was very good at setting to the side the things she did not want to deal with and living in the moment. She had not thought about the day after Christmas because she simply didn't want to.

Jon gave a heavy sigh. He couldn't tell her what he wanted to say. It was cruelly ironic that here he was ready to say those three little words every woman he'd ever dated had hounded him to say and he couldn't because of the age gap and school situation.

"I don't leave until Wednesday," was all she could offer.

Jon frowned. That didn't help much.

"What are we going to do without you?"

She walked over to him, put her arms around him, and rested her head against his chest.

"You will be fine. And I will back as soon as I can. If I can make it back for New Year's Eve I will."

"Don't rush," he said, even though he didn't want her to leave at all. "Take your time with your dad."

Shawn was just about to yell for them when Jon and Audrey walked into the living room, arm in arm.

He smiled and made room for them on the couch. After Home Alone was over, there was a huge selection of holiday TV movies to choose from. Audrey chose "A Holiday to Remember" and it was a mistake. Neither Jon nor Shawn were much for sappy romances and she didn't know that was it was when she chose it. However, it gave her a front row seat to Jon and Shawn's version of "Mystery Science Theater 3000". Never had a romantic movie been so funny. Next was the more traditional movies that ended with "It's A Wonderful Life". It was the first time Jon had seen it and been able to relate to George Bailey in any way.

As the fire began to die down and the TV's sound faded to the background, they all fell asleep just as they had on Christmas with Jon holding both Shawn and Audrey.

Through the years we all will be together if the Fates allow...

o0o0o0o

"I still have that camera," Shawn told Julia. There was a sad, distant look in his eyes. "Of all the cameras I've had, it's still my favorite one."

Julia watched as tears filled his eyes. She hugged his arm tightly unsure of what to say. She felt so bad for him. Guilt tugged at her heart- that Christmas that Shawn had so desperately wanted, but only experienced once was the Christmas she had every year.

"I lost all those photos," he said despondently. "I don't know what happened to them. I kept them in a box under my bed for the longest time and then after I left Dad..." he shrugged, heaving a heavy sigh.

"You mean the pictures you took that Christmas?"

He nodded.

Julia jumped up, throwing the blanket fully onto Shawn and ran to the hutch in the living room where her mother kept the family photo albums. She pulled two large albums from the shelf and a box. One of the albums was so large that she had trouble carrying it, the other album, and the box and nearly dropped everything before she made it back to the couch.

"Dad found that box under your bed at his old apartment," she said, setting the smaller album and box on the coffee table. Julia handed the large album to her brother and settled herself back into the warm folds of their blanket. "He tried to get it back to you, but I think you weren't really talking to him by then. Mom ended up putting them in this, so they'd be protected."

Shawn took the album from her and set it on his lap. He was surprised to find himself trembling with nervousness as he opened the cover. Inside was every picture he'd taken that Christmas. Emotion overwhelmed him as he looked through the album, tangible proof that the story he'd just told his sister really happened. The further he got into the album the more trouble he had, seeing as tears clouded his vision.

"Daddy's always said he was so glad you took all those pictures. He said he would have forgotten a lot of what happened if you hadn't."

They continued to look through the photos and Julia said, "I'm glad you took these too. It's cool to see where all of our Christmas traditions came from."

"Really?"

She nodded. "We do everything you guys did that year. Well, except for the Philadelphia stuff. We do the New York version of that instead."

It was the end of the album that finally got Shawn and the tears that had been building up finally spilled over. On the last page was a single picture of him, Jon, and Audrey with Santa that had been taken at the Christmas Village, its paper holiday frame faded with time. Right across from it in a clear page protector was the Christmas list he'd written so long ago. Through the tears he smiled. After everything he'd seen that they'd done to keep him as an active part of the family it should not have been a surprise that they had kept the list too.

"What's in the box?" he asked. Something told him it had to do with the album.

Julia gave him a big smile that looked so much like Audrey's but at the very same time looked just like Jon's. She picked the box up from the coffee table and handed it to him.

Slowly, he lifted the lid. Inside was an old worn VHS tape labeled "Our First Christmas 1994". Tucked into the side of the box was a DVD in a translucent green case.

"Mama had the video converted to DVD a while back," Julia told him. "The video tape was starting to show its age and she was afraid it would become unwatchable."

Shawn smiled and touched the tape gently. He hadn't seen the content in twenty years.

"That's one of our traditions," she said quietly. "We watch it every year."

A strange feeling surged over him as he heard his younger self tell his parents of his hope to watch it every year. They had fulfilled that request as well, even if he hadn't been aware of it. Shawn had never felt so loved in all his life, except for maybe that Christmas.

"Wait a minute," he suddenly as things started to become clearer. He turned to his sister and gave her a funny look. "You knew the story of my first Christmas with Mom and Dad. You've heard it for fifteen years!"

Julia grinned mischievously at him and nodded, the dark curls like her father's bobbed up and down.

"Why'd you want to hear it again?"

"I've never heard you tell it."

Shawn shook his head and laughed. "What's in that one?" he pointed to the other album on the coffee table.

Julia picked it up and handed it to him. "Pictures aren't the only thing they kept."

Shawn didn't know what she could possibly mean by that. He opened the Christmas themed album and looked through the photographs.

"We have a bunch of Christmas photos, but every year Mom puts a family picture and picture of the Christmas tree for that year in here. Next year we're going to have to start a new album."

"What do you mean that pictures weren't all they kept?"

"Look at the trees."

So Shawn focused on the Christmas trees. It took him a while to finally see what she was talking about. The one thing all the trees had in common was that there was a heart shaped Hallmark ornament hanging in the center of the tree illuminated by the lights that made it glow. Tears filled his eyes again.

"They still have that," he said quietly, touching the last picture with his fingertips.

"It's a good thing you didn't go with Darth Vader. Or it would have been on the back of the tree."

Shawn chuckled. "I almost did, too."

"They have the others, you know."

"What others?"

"The ornaments you made."

Shawn stared at the tree in the picture in front of him. As he looked, he saw that she was right. The ornaments he'd made with Audrey could be seen among the others.

"Every year we make ornaments, too."

Shawn looked at her in amazement thinking about how many kids there were in the family and multiplying it by the years that had passed. "Just how big a tree do we get now?"

Julia giggled. "We have a second tree. All the kid ornaments go on it."

Shawn continued to look through the album in wonder of the people who had so fully embraced him as a teen and now as an adult. Despite everything, they had stood by faithfully waiting for the day he would return home. Just like parents did for their children. Because he was theirs. It was not the first time in his life that he wished he shared a last name with them.

"Shawn," Julia tugged at his hoodie. She regarded him solemnly with large gray eyes. "Are you going to be home for Christmas next year?"

Shawn looked at his sister with great tenderness and affection as he thought about his little brothers and Bella, and their parents. "You can count on it, sis. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Julia snuggled up against him with the blanket and yawned. It was now after midnight, and they had a very busy week ahead of them. Possibly the most important week of their family's life. But even the darkness that loomed in the coming week could not sour the mood Shawn was in. It might have been February, but he could feel the Christmas spirit and the love of his family strongly all around him. He drifted off to sleep holding his sister the way their father had once held him so many years before.

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough and have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Chapter Text

6:15 AM on Monday morning came about two hours earlier than it should have by Shawn's estimate. Groggily, he rolled over to turn his alarm off forgetting that his phone was his alarm, it was on the desk, and he was on the top bunk. After preventing an unpleasant fall from his bed, Shawn was fully awake.

Grabbing his clothes, he headed down the hall hoping to beat Julia to the kids' bathroom. He just finished getting dressed when he heard an unhappy knocking on the door.

"Grayson? Jamie? Whoever's in there: GET OUT!"

Shawn jerked the door open and gave her a disapproving look. "It's too early to be so loud."

"Shawn? What are you doing in there?" Julia was clearly not expecting him to be the one hogging the bathroom.

"I just got out of the shower what does it look like?" He pointed to his wet hair.

"Well, get out," she huffed, folding her arms over her waist. "I need to get ready for school."

"I'm not done."

"I don't care."

"If I get out now I'll never get back in before it's time to go." He shut the door in her face.

"Hey! Shawn!"

She pounded on the door until he cracked it open again.

"Are you trying to wake the dead?"

"I need in the bathroom!"

"Look, sis, I realize that you've been holding my place as the oldest for fifteen years now and I appreciate it, I really do. But I'm back and since I am, we can all take our rightful places in the sibling hierarchy and thus balance can be restored to the family. Do your part, huh?" He shooed her back so he could shut the door again.

No amount of banging on the door got him to reopen. It only got her reprimanded by her father when he came upstairs to see what all the noise was about. Julia was still glowering when Shawn finally exited the bathroom. He grinned at her grumpy face and the slam the of the door behind her as he headed down to the kitchen.

"Don't drink the coffee!"

Shawn was reaching for a mug from the cabinet when he heard Jon's warning. He turned and gave him a bewildered look. "Why not?"

"There's dirt in it."

"What?"

Jon nodded. "Jamie's been asking me for the last three days how you get coffee from dirt. I guess I should have been paying more attention to why he was asking. Apparently, he thinks coffee grounds are dirt. Since I wasn't giving him a satisfactory answer he tried to test his theory himself."

Shawn made a face. "Did he drink it?"

"Nah," his father took a box of tea out of the cupboard. "Audrey chased him out of the kitchen last night and cleaned up a trail of dirt he left. He must have gotten as far as putting the dirt in the filter before she caught him."

"How'd you'd find out?"

Jon scowled at him.

"Oh. Gross!"

"Yeah, it was. I'm making Audrey tea for today. We'll swing by Topanga's for coffee after we drop Julia off."

"What are you going to do after you drop me off?" Julia walked into the kitchen with wet hair she was trying to towel dry. She was still annoyed with her brother for cutting into her morning prep time.

"None of your business." Shawn couldn't help but tease her. He had to admit he was enjoying being the oldest.

Jon smiled as he listened to them squabble. He was immensely pleased and enormously relieved that Shawn was adapting so well to family life and the other kids. He only wished that it had happened much sooner.

Shawn followed Jon into the district building, fully prepared for immediate engagement with Katherine. In fact, he was prepared and hoping for an all out fight as soon as she saw him.

"Shawn," Jon said, stopping in front of the entrance to the office.

"Yeah?"

"About this week... I'd appreciate it if you'd call at least a temporary truce with Kat."

Shawn raised his eyebrows with a quizzical look.

"C'mon, I know something happened at dinner last night. Could we please leave it at Claudette? You two can pick it up next week if you want."

"Yeah, sure," he agreed. He couldn't help but add, "She was just mad I won."

"Won?"

Shawn smirked. "You're my dad and not her husband. I won."

"Are you kiddin' me?" Jon didn't even know what to make of that. "That's what last night was about?"

"More or less." Shawn pulled out the small digital camera he was using for the week and aimed it at Jon. "She's a sore loser."

The superintendent shook his head, feeling more than a little uncomfortable with the lens focused on him. "Why do I have the feelin' I'm gonna regret this?"

"Because that what history teaches us," he grinned. "History- that was you right? Or was it Feeny? Wait, wait- why is Cory coming to mind when I say history and teaches?"

Jon shook his head and laughed as they entered the district office.

Katherine was busy at the copier when the men entered the office. Shawn refused to react when she turned around, saw them, and locked onto Jon as though he wasn't there.

"Good morning, Mr. Turner," she said brightly. Jon returned the greeting as he stopped at the Payroll clerk's desk to say hello.

She turned to Shawn who bristled, ready for the insult. It didn't come. "Mr. Hunter, how are you doing?" She maintained a pleasant smile while waiting for his response.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shawn saw Jon watching them with a strange look on his face. He seemed as caught off guard by Katherine's addressing of him as he was. He could also see his father watching for his reaction. Not to be out done in pleasantness, Shawn smiled warmly, "I'm really good. You?"

"I'm great," she said making her smile even brighter than his. "I'm really looking forward to this week."

This was the most irritating conversation that Shawn had had in recent memory. Even last night's was no where near as bad because it was, at least, an honest one. There was nothing honest in this exchange.

Not being able to resist the chance to throw in a barb, he responded, "Me, too. I'm really excited about seeing what Dad does first hand."

Her cheerful demeanor flickered ever so slightly at the word "Dad."

"I know he's glad have you here."

"Mmhmm." Shawn took a step away from her and towards Jon.

She took a step forward. As much as he wanted to frown, Shawn maintained a steady smile.

"Would you like me to introduce you to the office staff?" she asked sweetly.

"No, thanks," he said, motioning to Jon with a jerk of his thumb. "I think Dad's going to do that. Appreciate it though." Quickly, he backtracked until he was at Jon's side, ready to be rid of the rather bizarre conversation.

This warm professionalism continued throughout the first hour of the morning and Shawn was greatly disturbed by it. Katherine was nothing like she had been the night before; she pleasant and professional, not clinging to Jon or rude to Shawn. Something was very, very wrong.

Jon had a list of meetings to attend out of the office and little time to prepare for them. By 7:45 he and Shawn were headed out of the building. Katherine's friendly façade flickered again. Jon's first meeting was the gathering of regional school superintendents and was a 45 minute drive away. Katherine obviously expected to attend the meeting with him.

"It's not necessary for you to go, Kat," Jon told her as she was getting her coat on.

The secretary paused and the idyllic expression on her face seemed stuck. Shawn watched her very closely. Something told him to discreetly begin to film. And so he did.

"Oh," she said, evenly not taking her eyes off of Jon. "You'll need someone to take notes. And deal with whatever materials are passed out. Then there's scheduling issues..."

"There won't be anything Shawn can't do," he said and opened the door. "Besides there's plenty that needs to get done here. And it does need to get done."

"Of course," she said with a smile that she then turned onto the younger man next to him. "I'll just follow up with you when you get back."

"Right," the superintendent said, motioning to Shawn to follow him.

As Shawn walked passed her, she smiled sweetly at him and said, "Have a good time, Shawn. I'll be here when you get back."

The way she said her last statement made it sound like a nicely packaged threat. It was then that Shawn realized with unsettling surprise what her game was and that he would have to tread lightly or anything he said or did would be used against him. It had happened before.

0o0o0o0

Everyone knew that Shawn Hunter had little interest in school. Most teachers were happy to pass him through their class as quickly as possible and perhaps receive a little homework on special occasions. Both teachers and student tried to forget each other as quickly as possible. Then there was his English Lit teacher who expected homework regularly and had the audacity to expect him to maintain a strong C+ average or else his social life would be directly impacted. This teacher also had this thing about becoming a better person which sometimes seemed more important than grades. The only other teacher to have any expectations for him that weren't of failure was his principal who also taught something- history. Maybe? Whatever the class, Mr. Feeny's expectations were even higher than Mr. Turner's. It didn't matter what your GPA was the man was convinced that you could do better. He was also all about personal growth. In spite of these annoying traits, Shawn liked both men very much. However, he had to fight both in the area of grades as he wouldn't be Shawn Hunter if he didn't. But ultimately, he would do as they asked; he knew they cared about him and his future. So these were the teachers typical of his school experience. There was one, however, who stood out among the rest and not for a good reason.

Katherine Tompkins.

She was a strange amalgamation of the types of teachers in his life. She wanted nothing more than to pass him through her class and be rid of him. Except when Jonathan Turner was around. Then she seemed to be very much like a female Mr. Feeny, as appalling as that was. However, that was only at school. He did not exist outside of the school premises even when she was standing in front of him in his own home. That was fine with Shawn; he didn't like her either. Then came the day right after one of her boring lectures where she made it clear that it was not just her classroom she wanted him out of.

Shawn and Cory slept through most of that class, or at least as much as was possible when an annoying alarm clock kept screeching for them to wake up and it wasn't possible to shut it off. This was nothing unusual though and both fully expected to be written up for it. They always were. Cory wandered up to her desk to pick up the pink slip that would go home yet again to his parents. Shawn headed for the door. Giving him his slip was pointless; it would end up in the trash where Jon would inevitably find it no matter which receptacle he buried it in.

"Not so fast, Shawn."

Shawn, with his hand on the door knob, responded with a slow, exaggerated turn and even more exaggerated roll of his eyes.

"What?"

"Come here, please." It was a demand not a request.

"You're wasting your time giving me that. It's going in the trash as soon as I walk outta here."

"I'm not giving this to you."

"Finally, starting to catch on, huh?," he quipped with a sardonic smile. "Took long enough."

Miss Tompkins looked like she was biting her tongue. Literally.

"That's all, Cory," she dismissed the other boy. "You can go now."

Cory gave Shawn a worried look over his shoulder and said as neutrally as he could, "I'll just wait for Shawn if it's all the same to you."

"It's not," she pointed at the door. "Go to your next class."

The boys exchanged looks and Shawn gave him a subtle nod that he was all right. He knew Cory would go no further than just outside of the classroom door and would witness anything that happened.

"Reading me the riot act is also a waste of your time and breath."

"This is going straight to Jon."

Shawn shrugged. It'd been almost a week since he'd brought one home; Jon was expecting it. His caretaker actually had a small chalkboard hung in the hallway between the bedrooms and bathroom that read: 5 days since Shawn brought home a pink slip. He grinned. That 5 would be back to a 0 after today.

"So what?"

"So I'm bringing it over tonight."

Shawn's eyes narrowed and his smile disappeared. "You trapped Jon into another date. So what?"

She glared at him. "So I'm coming over tonight before Jon and I go out. I have some things to discuss with Jon about your performance in my class. It's atrocious, you know."

Atrocious- that was new one he could add to his list of words from teachers that meant "Shawn's a problem I no longer want to deal with, get him out of my class".

"What's your point?"

"My point is that it's Friday. And I have a date with Jon. I'm coming over early."

Shawn gave her a dead stare. "And?" he prompted irritably.

He was clearly pushing her to the brink of a meltdown. Most teachers weren't this easy to topple. Most would fight with everything they had not let him know he was getting to them. It wasn't usually until the end of the year that they would crack and yet here they were just five months into the year and she was showing signs of a breakdown.

"I'm coming over tonight," she said again, trying to control her temper. "I have a date with Jon."