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The more time Thel spent around the Spartan, the more he learned about his subtle gestures and body language. The way he subtly tilts his head when he’s listening closely to others, that even though he’s stood straight that he’s relaxed, or how he communicates with his teammates with a lot of hand signals Thel had learned over time what they had meant. John had taught him what a Spartan smile was, because it couldn’t be seen under the tinted visors they wore, and that had been a groundbreaking moment for their relationship, drawing them ever closer to each other. Sometimes, Thel returned the gesture.
The one thing he noticed about John over anything else though, was how much his hands always just barely shook.
He couldn’t recall if it was always like that when they had first met, he was never too focused on the Spartan back then, only trying to keep peace with him and their mutual allies after leaving the Covenant, but as they grew together, he began to notice it. From just watching him walk around, to when he’s relaxed or eating. The only time Thel hasn’t seen it happen is when John was on the battlefield. The man was always fully focused, and his aim steady and true, unwavering.
Thel didn’t know if it was just nerves causing it, from excitement of the next mission, or his feelings, which he believed to be the more likely case. He needed to get John alone sometime and talk to him about it. He wasn’t even sure John was aware he did it.
He could see it again now, from where he was working, overlooking a balcony in his Keep, seeing John and his team with Halsey just a distance away outside.
He quite liked the Blue Team, and they were quick to accept the blooming relationship between him and John, if a bit skeptical at first. Kelly always seemed to be the most laid back of them, and he could see it now, the way she casually leaned against a tall boulder. Fred was second in command, a bit more serious, having his armored arms crossed over his chest. Linda never spoke much, very similar to John in that regard, but she was always one to get straight to the point when it mattered. She stood there with her sniper rifle in hand that he had never seen her without. It had freaked out many Sangheili originally when they had first come to Thel’s planet, but quickly learned she wasn’t a threat at all. He assumed it was something that made her feel safe on what was an unknown planet to her, surrounded by who used to be enemies.
And then there was John. The human had his back turned to him, standing straight as he usually did, but it was clear he was comfortable in the presence of his team and the doctor. Despite it, with his arms hanging at his sides, his hands shook. But almost as if John had sensed him watching, those same hands clenched into fists mere moments later to stop it.
Thel only watched for a few more seconds before letting out a sigh, and turning, seeing Rtas looking at him. They were working together on some of their Keeps paperwork before the former got distracted by the Spartan.
“You are worried about him.” Rtas commented, speaking in their native tongue, concern present in his orange colored eyes.
Thel was quiet, his mandibles shut closed, before he slowly nodded his head and let it hang slightly. “Yes.” He answered, then looked back out at Blue Team. He didn’t know what they were speaking about, most stuff was classified between them but sometimes John told the Sangheili about it. “He’s been through too much recently. I can see he keeps everything bottled inside.” Thel said.
The most recent event the Spartan had to endure through was losing Cortana. She had been a best friend to him, someone the Spartan could rely on through thick and thin until she became rampant. John had to personally put her down, he refused to let anyone else touch her, and Thel could tell it had affected him a lot. The way the other had been more withdrawn than usual lately, more quietly spoken or not speaking at all. He’s been hurting.
“You should speak to him.” Rtas said, putting a clawed, four-fingered hand on the other’s shoulder. “I can tell it has been affecting you as well.”
Thel looked Rtas in the eyes, a quiet falling over them both. He worked his mandibles as though in search of the right words, and then nodded. “I will tonight. At sundown.” He promised.
“Good.” Rtas gave him a half-jawed Sangheili smile. “It will be good for you both.” Squeezing his shoulder and standing up, he went over to the balcony doors and shut the curtains, blocking out the sun and the view of the Spartan team outside for Thel’s sake. “ Let us get back to work .” He said, sitting down across the other Sangheili again, delving back into paperwork with him.
It wasn’t difficult to find the Spartan. The Sangheili had offered them their training grounds to use whenever they felt like it, and in fact, many of the Sangheili loved training with and against them as the Spartans made formidable opponents and trainers. Many of the young ones still had yet to best them in a fight, and it only made them fight harder to defend their still growing honor. It was a good lesson for them.
To find John here though, at the time of night it was, with the sun nearly set over the horizon, was a bit unusual. He would normally have called it a night already and turned in and Thel wouldn’t see him again until the next morning. But entering the grounds, Thel could see him sparring in hand-to-hand combat with his teammate, Kelly. They looked to be on equal footing aside from Kelly dodging and moving from attacks a bit quicker. She was the first one to notice Thel, and John had taken the opportunity of her distraction to knock her off her nimble feet.
“Oof, hey,” She complained after she landed, and gestured towards the Sangheili. “Looks like there’s someone here for you, John.”
“I hope I am not interrupting.” Thel apologized, walking closer towards the pair.
“No,” John said, shaking his head. “Not at all. Do you need something?” He asked, and again, Thel could see that slight tilt of his head as he asked.
“I would like to walk with you.” He requested, and glanced at the female Spartan. “If that is alright with you.” When Kelly just shrugged her shoulders indifferently, he looked back at John expectantly.
“Sure.” John replied. Turning to Kelly, “Let the team know I’ll turn in late tonight. Don’t worry about me.” He said and began to walk towards the exit of the training grounds. Thel followed just a step behind.
Only moments later, Thel could have sworn if looks could kill just from a helmet visor, they would have, as John had suddenly turned and stared down Kelly for a few seconds while she waved innocently back at him.
The nights of Sanghelios were quiet, and always lit up. The only sounds that broke the quiet were the rushing of the nearby rivers, and the sounds of their footsteps and occasionally the scurrying of the nocturnal animals coming out for the night. Overhead the aurora shone bright, dancing in blues and greens, along with the two moons of Sanghelios. The planet truly did feel like a different place at night than the busyness the day brought.
John and Thel walked side by side for a distance away from their homes, in a comfortable silence, almost seeming to not really have any destination in mind of where they were going as Thel lead them down a winding path through the mountains with the double moons lighting their way.
As discreetly as the Sangheili could, Thel looked down at John’s hand closest to him. It was shaking ever so slightly again as they walked. He let out a silent sigh through his nose, and imitating what he had seen humans close to each other do, threaded his fingers between John’s armored ones, holding his hand.
It wasn’t practical for him, it was uncomfortable a bit actually, with how his hands were made compared to the human’s and being slightly larger, but he did it for the comfort of the other. John’s hand had reflexively almost pulled away, but remained locked when his visored eyes met Thel’s amber ones.
“Sorry,” Thel apologized quietly, “I hope this is okay.”
It took a few moments before John nodded. “Yeah...” He breathed out, “Yeah, it’s okay.”
“Good.” Thel replied, leaving them in silence together for a bit longer as they walked, hand in hand. Though the armor was cold in the night air, he could swear he felt warmth emanating from the Spartan’s hand that was more relaxed now, unshaking.
“Why-“
“I-“
John was the first to break their silence after a while, only to have himself cut off as Thel began to speak at the same time.
“My apologies.” Thel apologized quickly after the few moments of them realizing they tried to speak at the same time. “You first.”
“Uh, right,” The Spartan said, a bit flustered now, “Why bring me out here?” He asked curiously, tilting his head slightly. Though he could appreciate the view of the double moons, the rising stars, the aurora, the view the mountains gave at night, standing tall around them and casting dark shadows, he knew there had to be a reason beyond that that the Arbiter had requested him along.
“I was concerned.” Thel answered, and looked up at the sky. “Maybe it is not my place,” He said, then looking back at John, “but I thought you seemed like you could use a friend.” He said, then added more softly, “Are you okay?”
John suddenly came to a stop, causing Thel to stop, surprised, as he stiffened, and gently pulled his hand out from Thel’s own. The absence of John’s hand in Thel’s own was immediately missed by him, but the Sangheili didn’t protest, only tightened his closed mandibles in response. To John, he didn’t know where this was coming from. He didn’t believe he gave off any indication to cause any worry. He always kept everything bottled up tightly, never to be seen by anyone, put on a facade that everything was okay and that he was okay, yet Thel, ever so seemingly observant, had noticed he truly wasn’t okay. Sure, his team knew about his pain and his grief, his depression, but they never spoke much of it, just living life as it came, and no one else outside of them knew what he was going through.
Thel was the first one to ask him, outside of Blue Team, if he was okay. It was such a simple thing, yet it meant so much to him. That someone outside of what he considered family cared.
And he wasn’t prepared for the surge of emotions that brought forth in him that he would usually only let out if he was completely alone. The sudden stinging of his eyes that he only wanted to rub to stop tears from spilling over, the lump in his throat as he tried to come up with some response for Thel, only for nothing to be able to come out.
John was suddenly thankful for the helmet he wore over his head, hiding the raw emotions that crossed his face from the other.
Thel gently took both the Spartan’s hands into his again, as they began shaking uncontrollably with the sudden emotions. Though his hands had armored pads over the top of them, it didn’t stop Thel from rubbing his thumbs over top of them simultaneously. He would give him the time he needed to respond while also letting him know he was here for him.
When a single shake of a head was the only response Thel got back after a couple minutes, it was all he needed to hear from the other, not expecting more beyond that tonight. Thel got the closure he needed, and they could work on it together in the future, opening up to each other. “I will be the ears to listen when you need it.” He promised, willing to go at John’s pace.
And John was also thankful for Thel. The other was present for many of the things he’d gone through recently, he was someone who could likely understand him the most. He was glad to have been gradually becoming closer to the Sangheili.
He shared his silent thanks by giving Thel’s hands a couple of light squeezes, comforted by the squeeze he received back.