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What a difference a day makes
It shouldn’t have changed anything.
He should still be the same man he was yesterday, yet Eddy is there, on the couch beside him, waggling his eyebrows as an old song comes from the speakers of his phone and Brett knows his whole world shifted.
Because the man beside him is his husband since yesterday, and what difference a day makes.
24 little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain
*
“Old married couple.”
It had started as early as high school, following into uni, and they had never managed to get rid of that reputation. Not that they had tried really hard, making kissy faces at each other and moving in tandem through life.
At sixteen, when he heard it for the first time from their friend at Youth Orchestra, he never thought the joke would become his reality. Eddy had seemed to preen every time someone teased them - proud of their bond, proud of being attached to Brett in that way maybe - it always warmed him from the inside, the way Eddy needed him, needed them, the devotion he extended in this friendship.
Eddy’s my best friend, he thought with all the fondness in the world, so it was fun and natural to go along with this.
“Oi, Brett, where’s the other half?”
“Practicing, why?”
“Nothing, just had some music to give back to him, but I guess leaving it with you is leaving it with him.”
“Yeah, hand it over.”
“Don’t forget me at the wedding guys,” Alex waggled his eyebrow at him, shoving the music sheets in his hands before hurrying back to the practice room with the good piano.
“The homo level between you and Eddy is too damn high, man,” Patrick passed behind him with a slap on the shoulder.
“You jealous?”
“Heh, I know I can’t compete.”
*
This has been going on for so long by now, fifteen years of jokes about being each other’s life partner that it almost feels like one big prank, calling Eddy his husband.
He still can’t wrap his mind around the word, how huge it feels despite the number of times he heard it before. Because this big dork has his teeth out and his laugh is unhinged, he just looks like Eddy and Brett has trouble believing he’s married to that idiot.
“This is so stupid,” he breathes out as Eddy shoves his screen under Brett’s nose so he can read the lyrics of the love song better.
But the song is sweet and romantic, quite like the man holding the phone, and he knows he sounds too lovestruck, has never been able to keep the fondness out of his voice in general, but it’s ten times worse now that they’re married and the ring glinting on his finger keeps making his lips stretch up at any random time.
My yesterday was blue, dear
Today I'm a part of you, dear
*
It was hard to pinpoint when it had all started, the love growing between them.
Sometimes Brett felt like it had always been there, hidden under jokes and other partners, a constant stream of want and adoration for the teenager then the man who had shared everything with him.
Maybe it started taking roots in high school when he stayed quiet about his love for classical music, constantly hiding the biggest part of himself to try and fit in. But then there was Eddy, even more of a nerd, eyes glinting with adoration even when Brett wasn’t cool. Putting a smile on this face and a spark in those eyes became a life mission along with getting better at the violin.
Or it bloomed when they shared friends, a university and Brett and Eddy was called more often than their individual names in the midst of practice and hard work.
It might have been between smiles and laughter as TwoSet started taking off and they barely slept, or interwoven in every minute they spent together.
“I love you, Eddy,” he buried his face in his best friend’s shoulder because they were about to start a world tour together, the livestream was still running and he wasn’t completely sure how he meant those words.
The streets lights were tracing a curve over Eddy’s cheekbone and he had this weird urge to kiss it. The emotions swirling inside of him were a mess; a surge of relief, something blocking his throat, giddiness, incredulity and so much love he didn’t know what to do with it.
The choked I love you too that was sobbed in his shoulder made him hope that maybe, maybe they were on the verge of something.
*
“I can’t believe I’m married to you,” Eddy’s eyes are fleeting away from the screen, settling on Brett’s hand resting on his thigh.
He can feel the weight of the ring on his finger, knows Eddy is staring at it because that’s what they have been doing for the past twenty-four hours - staring at the rings and kissing.
Now is no exception. The lips are familiar and warm against his, adoring in the way they press and release, firmer once Brett lets out a breathy moan when Eddy’s hands join the make-out session but then a giggle tickles his lower lip and he has to blink his eyes open.
“What’s going on?” His voice is low and he can’t stop smiling even though Eddy is probably making fun of him one way or another.
“No, nothing, come back here.” A hand crawls toward his back to get him closer and Eddy is burying his nose in Brett’s hair. “I’m just- fuck, dude. We’re married. ”
“Who would have thought, hey.”
“Everyone.”
“Fair enough.”
My lonely nights are through, dear
Since you said you were mine
*
It wasn’t always easy, pain wedging between his ribs when Eddy had started dating and then the quips about their relationship dwindled - it felt weird, joking about being married to a guy whose girlfriend was right there.
He felt like an idiot, that he had somehow misread every look, smile, and touch, that maybe, he was the only one slowly falling in love with his best friend. Jokes were just jokes, Eddy never really planned on living with him and all that shit.
The coffee had started to get cold from how long he had been standing near the sink, cup in hand, still untouched because he hadn’t really wanted the drink. Just looking for an excuse to not bear witness to Eddy’s lovestruck smile as he was texting her. The counter’s edge was digging into his lower back and he hissed as his shoulder was knocked by his over-eager best friend barging in the kitchen.
“Dude! Look at that!” The computer was balancing precariously on one hand, Eddy uncaring of his personal space as usual - and who could blame him, Brett would have done the same before.
Still, he carefully readjusted his position, his arm and thigh going cold as the gap separating their body became more acceptable. It was impossible to miss the twitch of Eddy’s eyebrow, the forlorn glance he threw at the space between them, and what the fuck, bro, you have a girlfriend, stop this . Brett had to bite his tongue to stop the scathing remarks because Eddy had no right to make him feel so fucking guilty every time he evaded his touch.
“What did you want to show me?” his voice stayed even, glancing at the Instagram post of a house shaped like a piano and a violin taking most of the computer screen space.
“It’s cool, isn’t it? Ultimate musician house.” Eddy’s voice was uncertain now, enthusiasm meeting a slow death, sounding unconvinced by his own words. “We should totally liv-”
“The channel better work incredible for you to be able to afford this,” Brett snorted back, gaze going back to the coffee sitting in his cup; uninteresting sight he wasn’t really paying attention to, focused on trying to ignore his best friend’s face falling. “But I’ll definitely hang around your place more if it looks like this.”
“I guess,” there was a weak chuckle. “I like this studio though.”
“Not the best place to start a family though, is it?”
Why are you talking? Why are you bringing this subject? Do you actually enjoy getting hurt? he wanted to hit himself, unable to understand what he was trying to achieve with that conversation.
“No. Not really…”
And it was enough damages done, if this kept going he would either lash out or hug Eddy, and none of those would solve anything.
“Do we have anything more planned for today? If not I’ll probably go hang out at Hyung’s place for a bit.”
“Oh. Okay, no, it’s fine. Go ahead.”
Brett left with the weight of Eddy’s sad stare on his back, feeling like crap.
*
“When are we leaving?” Eddy is nuzzling Brett’s stomach like an overgrown puppy, leaving a kiss or two when he feels like it.
It’s starting to get late, Brett is still full from their dinner and warm, surrounded by pillows, comforters, and his husband’s presence. There’s nothing sexual about the soft affection of Eddy’s lips against his skin, despite them trailing near his hips and navel, sometimes dropping a kiss up to his chest only to rub his nose in the soft of his belly.
“For the honeymoon?” He racks his fingers through Eddy’s hair, applying enough pressure to get a groan of appreciation from him. “At noon, so you’ll have time to sleep in.”
The words have a strange weight on his mouth, they feel almost foreign even though he has planned every step of it - enough videos in the backlog to not have to worry about it, the place is already rented, their luggage is packed, and it still somehow doesn’t feel real.
Brett had no plan to get married, evading questions from his family and happy to share his life with his best friend, never thought he’d be called husband and plan a honeymoon.
What a difference a day makes
*
Singapore was a confirmation.
Spending the rest of his days with Eddy like this, he couldn’t think of anything better.
The hurt had abated with the years, contentment with their friendship too important to be ruined by weird feelings. Time had made him see that the other people in their life would come and go but at the end of the day, the one inevitably at Eddy’s side would be him.
Brett prided himself on being a stable person, generally happy and always going forward. He had made himself fall out of love, strengthened his core, and taught himself to be happy whatever the role Eddy had in his life ended up being.
When your life was already so intertwined with someone, when you had lived longer with them than without, it became hard to imagine any way to be closer. It became impossible to think living together would change anything - they were already spending all of their time with each other.
Four months later and he had proof that his imagination paled compared to real life.
Questions he had buried under crawled back to haunt the corners of his days, feelings he had resolved to forget tickled at the pit of his stomach, at the center of his chest when Eddy burst out laughing at anything Brett told him, hopes that had been torn apart were mended as hands lingered with stares.
“Yo Brett, sorry to interrupt your practice, can you come and check an email with me?”
His hand was lax around his bow, going mindlessly through a scale he wasn’t paying any attention to because he was busy smiling and thinking of his best friend.
“No- I mean, yeah sure, don’t apologize, I wasn’t focused anyway. I’ll come back to it later.”
“Thanks,” a hand flitted at the small of his back as he passed the door of their filming room, and he caught a shy smile as he glanced up at Eddy.
He slowed down just enough for the whispering of fingers to become a firm press on his back. None of them said anything as they sat way closer than necessary in front of the computer, and Brett never commented on the way Eddy’s eyes were fixed on him the entire time instead of their work.
Maybe, if he could have that forever, he would be happier than any married man.
*
His thoughts haven’t really changed, he considers, watching the way the sun crawls under the curtains to create small dips of light all over their sheets - it doesn’t quite reach Eddy, the position of the bed calculated so that the morning sun wouldn’t touch him and risk waking him up in its inconsideration.
There’s a soft snore and quiet mumblings coming from the open mouth of his best friend - his fucking husband, it’s been two days now Brett, get used it - a wet spot forming on the pillow.
“Bwett?” Eddy scrunches his nose and throws an arm in his direction without opening his eyes.
The sun catches on his ring and Brett can’t help the light touch of his finger over the cold metal.
“Yeah?” he knew his voice would be soft, could feel the endearment growing in his throat, he still isn’t prepared for how fond he sounds at the sight of this big drooling man.
“Huh.” And his husband falls back asleep.
There is no point in stopping the chuckle from leaving his mouth. Anyway, no witness here to judge the adoration on his face.
Sure, he would have been happy as Eddy’s best friend - they still are, in every way - but this, carrying on the hands they use to make music the marks of their devotion to each other, it fills him with purpose - it’s now officially his job to make this man happy.
“I love you, Eddy,” he whispers against his temple, pressing his lips there before getting out of bed, so grateful to his past self for finally having the guts to kiss his best friend.
There's a rainbow before me
Skies above can't be stormy
Since that moment of bliss, that thrilling kiss
It's heaven when you find romance on your menu
*
Sickness shakes priorities, strips its victims bare until all that’s left is the core essence.
Brett’s core essence, he discovered, was Eddy.
The worst of it stayed blurry, hazy images of white hospitals burning his retina and the same bedroom always in the dark, too hot or too cold, an insidious little voice whispering how useless it was to fight this, how tired he was and how good it would feel to just let go - and then Eddy’s voice, steady and low, chasing everything until he was the only thing resonating in Brett’s mind.
How are you feeling? - Are you hungry? - Do you want another blanket? - It’s gonna be okay, hey - Stay with me, Brett - Please.
The better moments were sharper in his memory, a burst of laughter here, going out and feeling the sun of his face, messages from fans and Eddy practicing his Sibelius - the lack of playing was digging a hole in his chest and the sound of his best friend’s violin made the ache slightly duller. Then still his voice.
Dude, look at this! - You look better today - Nah, no bubble tea for you - What d’you want for dinner? - Yeah, I took care of this - Don’t worry, I got you.
The kiss was a mix of both.
The beginning had been hazy, waking up from a nightmare were he was all alone, where he would roam around the apartment and Eddy was nowhere to be found, having finally given up on him and his stupid sickness. It was dark and maybe he had been crying, unable to tell the hour or the day.
It was a flurry of hands around his cheeks - it’s okay, I’m here - the usual voice, so comforting and here , still here despite everything, it was hot and stuffy under the covers, sweat gathering behind his knees, Eddy’s burning hand near his neck.
“Don’t leave.”
“I won’t.”
And Brett kissed him.
The rest was in sharp focus.
From the slight intake of Eddy’s breath burnt in Brett’s memory to the trembling of his hand still curled around his jaw. The pained whine coming from his best friend’s throat as Eddy pushed him back with all the care in the world.
“It’s okay, I’m here. There’s no- no need for that, I won’t leave.”
Oh fuck. Why now. Why did I do this, Brett you fucking idiot-
He remembered the crease between Eddy’s eyebrows, the worried look he was giving him, the heat of his hands as he pushed him back into the bed, draping the blankets around him before backtracking to his own bedroom.
For the first time since the beginning of the sickness, Brett had trouble falling asleep.
They didn’t talk about it. Neither the morning after nor the week that followed.
It stayed there, hanging around the air every time Eddy’s eyes flitted to his lips then caught himself and Brett was too tired to talk.
It stayed there when Eddy gave him Christmas gifts, smiling like a dork and so proud of himself Brett wanted to kiss him again.
It stayed there as he started practicing again, trembling with excitement as the strings dug into the tip of his fingers, glancing up to catch Eddy staring at him fondly.
It stayed there and Brett fell asleep on the couch only to wake up to Eddy’s hand on his shoulder.
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired.”
“Let’s get you to bed then.”
He would have protested before this whole thing, refused to be babied like this, but now he was just relieved to accept the care and support.
“Okay, carry me?”
Eddy smelt like the outside, the fresh night air of his walk clinging to his skin, breath still carrying remnants of a hawker stall food - something warm and a bit spicy.
It was still there when he was lowered to his bed and his hand snatched Eddy’s wrist.
“Stay?”
“Fuck dude, you’re getting spoiled.”
“Please, Eddy.”
It was growing and stifling, taking all the space in his lungs as Eddy snuggled under the covers with him, gaze heavy and throat working overtime to swallow back whatever he wanted to say - it didn’t work.
“Why did you kiss me?” Eddy finally let out and his pulse was so loud Brett could hear it thump in his ears - unless it was his own.
“You know that.”
“That’s the thing, I’m not sure. You’re- it’s a bit- you’re hard to read sometimes. There is- there could be so many reasons, I’ve thought of so many possibilities, I-”
“I love you.”
“Fuck. Thank God,” Eddy’s voice was shaky as cradled Brett in his arms - so careful and gentle, so at odds with the way he usually grabbed him.
“You’re supposed to say me too,” he breathed against Eddy’s neck, the knots of a worry he hadn’t noticed loosening until all that was left was joy and fatigue.
“I love you too.”
“Good,” and already drowsiness was claiming him.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, hey,” he heard, muttered against his hair.
*
Brett had expected their dynamics to stay the same, just some more kissing on the side, but Eddy as a boyfriend was another new entity to deal with than Eddy as a best friend.
The fundamentals were the same, but the amount of physical affection and dotting had been a bit overwhelming, sharing a bed wasn't the same as sharing a place, details had shifted so subtly he hadn't even noticed all the little ways in which their relationship evolved.
“Eddy, we leave in half an hour.”
The curtains were shoved open, light streaming in without mercy and Eddy buried his head under the covers with a groan.
“No.”
“You mean you don’t want to go on a honeymoon with your husband?”
A dirty glare emerged from a burrito of blankets.
“I’ll only forgive that emotional blackmail if you made me coffee.”
“I did, but now I’m not sure you deserve it.”
“Well now, you have to kiss me.”
“Oh no.” Brett deadpanned. “Kissing my husband, such terrible payback, how will I survive that.”
“I’ve got morning breath.”
Brett snorted and shook his head, already leaning in to drop a light kiss on his brow - to everyone who had thought they behaved like an old married couple since their teens, they hadn’t seen the worst of it yet.
Now, Eddy is his husband, surely another beast, an entire new stage of life to discover together, and he couldn’t wait to start.
What a difference a day made
And the difference is you