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Balthazar’s first moment of consciousness was half-hearted at best. He registered that it was light and registered that his stomach was churning but he didn’t relate this to the alcohol that was still polluting his body. He snuggled into the warming body next to him, pulled Pedro’s arm back up around his shoulders and fell asleep instantly.
It could have been days, hours or minutes later that he woke again, properly this time. He didn’t feel great. And then he realised that he was lying next to Pedro Donaldson with Pedro Donaldson’s arms wrapped around him and Pedro Donaldson’s slow breaths tickling the back of his neck.
But as much as Balthazar wanted this to be the perfect moment, there was a heaviness in him that had nothing to do with a hangover.
Balthazar had gotten to know Pedro well, especially well over the past couple weeks. One thing that he knew for sure about Pedro was that the ‘all round great guy’ thing wasn’t just a catchphrase. It was a real part of him. Pedro got on with everyone; he was good at it. He knew how to make people laugh and rarely offended people – and if he did, he immediately apologised and looked so wretched and repentant that no one could ever be mad for long.
And plastered across Balthazar's mind was the expression Pedro had worn last night, when those guys had seemed so disgusted with them. It had been an expression of hopelessness. That had been a problem that no amount of charm was going to fix.
There was no way that being bisexual was going to be ok with everyone that Pedro met. There was no way that everyone who saw them together would be comfortable with it. That just wasn’t a realistic expectation. And how was Pedro going to deal with that? Pedro Donaldson, who was used to being everyone’s best friend.
Did Balthazar even want to put him through that?
Balthazar turned over with care but Pedro’s eyes flickered open all the same. A tired smile spread across his face and glimmered in his tawny eyes.
“Hey,” Pedro murmured and yawned. He ran one hand over his face and closed his eyes again.
Balthazar said nothing and tried to ignore the lump in his throat as he nestled closer into Pedro’s arms. The feel and the warm, morning smell of Pedro’s skin was painfully sweet to Balthazar.
He knew he had to be realistic about how this was going to work out once they got home.
.
“Do you think the others are even up yet?” Hero asked in a far too chirpy voice.
Jessie’s smile was tolerant from the other side of the table, though her head was drooped rather low over her coffee. She had just about mustered the energy for the short walk to the coffee shop. Conversation was only gradually becoming more of an option. “I doubt it.”
“I think everyone had a really good time. Thank you so much!”
“No problem…” Jessie yawned.
“How do you feel?”
“Oh, I feel great!”
Hero beamed at her. “I’m so glad I didn’t drink as much as you guys!”
“That’s… exactly what I need to hear right now…”
Jessie asked a few prompting questions and then enjoyed listening to Hero talk about her travels again. There was something so delightful about Hero’s perspective of everything and everyone. Jessie had never met anyone quite like her.
She only interrupted when Hero explained about her own resolution for the trip, to say more negative things.
“That’s crazy!” Jessie said. “Most people spend their time trying to be more positive! Pedro suggested that?”
“Well, yes.”
“Is he opposed to happiness?”
Hero laughed at her. “No! I don’t think, I mean, he probably didn’t really think about it.” Hero looked thoughtful for a moment and then commented, “I really like Pedro, actually. He just manages really well to be this cool, older-brotherly type who literally gets on with everyone and yet he’s also sort of a dork and is totally fine with that.”
“All your friends seem really cool,” Jessie acknowledged. “I like how Balthazar looks at everything as if it’s a piece of art work.”
“Yeah, I guess he does! Especially Pedro.”
“Especially Pedro. And I really like Beatrice.”
“She’s the best,” Hero agreed. “The literal best. It actually hurts a little bit sometimes because of the amount that I love her.”
“Her and Ben are obviously -”
“Oh, yeah, big time,” Hero agreed. “It’s totally fate.”
“I could imagine him being your cousin-in-law one day!”
Hero’s immediate reaction was to grimace but then she grinned. “To be fair, he’d be an awesome cousin-in-law! He and Bea have always had this thing and so I’ve never spent that much time with him before. I wish I had now.”
“I wish I could spend more time with you guys.”
“I wish I could spend more time with you,” Hero said and gave a tentative smile that was almost too adorable for Jessie to cope with.
“Actually, I had been thinking…”
“You’re going to move to New Zealand?” Hero gasped.
“No! Just that when I finish my degree in the summer I was planning to go travelling for at least a few months, maybe a year, and it had crossed my mind that New Zealand would be a pretty great place to go travelling to.”
Hero’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Yup! Good idea, huh?”
“Amazing idea!” Hero squealed.
.
Meanwhile, Beatrice was retching into the toilet bowl.
“... Do you want me to get you some water?” Benedick asked.
Beatrice just groaned and shook her head. “Never again…”
As the putrid smell wafted up and stung in Benedick’s nostrils, he felt his own stomach churn. “Yeah, I hear you.”
He had no idea when they were going to talk about what happened at midnight…
It was perfectly normal for two people who were really drunk and hot from dancing to go outside and get some fresh air. There had been no need for Jessie to say what she had. And then all Benedick could think about, of course, was that.
As Beatrice had propped herself against the wall and taken a deep gasp of the cold night air, all that was running around his head was Jessie’s voice. ‘Why can’t you just admit how in love with her you are?’
Benedick had giggled and that made Beatrice laugh. “What?” she had asked.
He had shook his head but that had made him dizzy and he had to lean against the wall too. “Nothing! I’m fine!”
“You’re not fine!”
“You’re not fine!” Benedick had counteracted.
“OOohh, touché!”
"You know what is super strange? Like really weird?” Benedick had slurred. “How much I'm totally in love with you!"
He had definitely not meant to say that.
He had definitely meant to say that it was weird that Jessie thought he was in love.
That was what he'd meant.
But Beatrice had seemed more interested in the perceived slight.
"Super strange? For you to be in love with me?" She had pulled a face. "It would be way weirder for me to say I loved you!" Then she had suddenly realised what they were talking about. Perhaps it was because Benedick had been looking as if all of his birthdays had come at once. "Not that I'm saying that I do! I'm not saying that!"
But it had been too late. Benedick had stood upright and was grinning from ear to ear. "You are so saying that! You just said it!"
"I did not!"
"You did! You totally fucking did!"
Beatrice had laughed despite herself. "You know you can't just beat some kind of confession out of me. You're only saying this because you're drunk."
Benedick had shaken his head with an obstinate smile. "You massively fancy me and I will beat up anyone who says that I don't fancy you too, drunk or not!"
And Beatrice had rolled her eyes like she always did when Benedick said something ridiculously dramatic. "...You're such a loser. I don't know why -"
"Because we're meant to be together!” Benedick had burst, feeling himself move towards her and unable to do anything to stop it. “It has to happen!"
"Shut up, will you? Jesus! I was going to say 'I don't know why I like you!'"
"You were going to say you like me?"
"Yes."
"Well, say it then!"
"I feel like we're too drunk for this..."
"Say it!"
"Fine! I like you Benedick Hobbes. I like you! Happy now?"
And that was when she had kissed him. Or he had kissed her. Benedick couldn’t remember. But he remembered that there had been kissing. That was for certain. His lips were still tingling from it.
Or… perhaps that was the bile rising in this throat.
And now it was the morning after and everything was awful and painful and smelt like vomit and Benedick had no idea when was the right time to tell Beatrice that it was true: he loved her and he always had.