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“He misses you, you know.”
Craig stares at the tombstone. It’s relatively newer than the two tombstones next to it. The noirette sits down, crossing his legs then placing the bouquet of flowers on the patch of grass before the stone. It’s his first time visiting alone, often with Tweek and their friends.
He doesn’t have any reason to visit this graveyard anyways.
He closes his eyes, feeling the wind blow past him, carrying fallen leaves off from the ground. He has a specific magenta jacket tucked under his arm. He silently holds it, opening his eyes to stare at the embodied name on the right breast of the clothing.
Jason.
“I don’t really know why I’m here.” He says softly, gaze lifting towards the cold stone in front of him.
"Guess I have questions. That will never be answered."
He shifts closer to the tombstone before wrapping the jacket around it, tying the sleeves so it wouldn't get blown away. He stares at the grave once more, tilting his head as to remember the questions he said he has.
“I never really got to know you. Tweek just chose you as our fourth member for a time being. Then we never spoke to each other again.”
Craig raised a brow when Tweek walked outside the school with the brunette. He had instructed the blonde to find someone that can be part of their group to have matching clothes, and he chose Jason. He shouldn’t have been surprised, these two are close friends, similar to how close he is with Token.
“H-Hey, Craig. Token.” Tweek says, fingers twiddling with each other as he and the brunette walk closer to Craig and Token.
“Hey.” Token greeted, nodding at both of them.
Craig just stared at the brunette. He would have chosen Clyde, but the traitor decided to dress up on his own, so he let Tweek choose. It shouldn’t matter, Token is familiar with Jason as well, “both being part of their school sport teams.
The brunette just stood behind the blonde, looking at Craig with the same stoicness the noirette possessed. That fact alone seemed to make the noirette uncomfortable. But those icy-blue eyes glanced at the other noirette. He only blinked as a greeting, because Token is already talking about their plan.
Tweek just nodded along to everything Token and Craig said. They’ll be wearing make-up, the same uniform and Craig suggested that they fix their hairs. The blonde didn’t seem to like that idea at first but he murmured something about coloring his hair.
Sometime between their meeting, Jason has stepped beside the blonde and Tweek is holding on to his sleeve. Craig felt something uncomfortably warm bubbling in his stomach, and he found himself glaring at the brunette.
They just stare at one another, as Tweek and Token share ideas of how to be more fashionable. Jason didn’t say anything, nor even raise his eyebrow to question the other’s sudden anger towards him. His face is just… blank.
“Would you be okay with that, Jason?” Token inquires, getting the brunette’s gaze off of Craig.
“Yeah.”
Craig breathed in when he heard the other spoke. It’s not nasally like his but it’s monotone, barely showing emotions. Token nodded though, like he was convinced that Jason did mean what he said.
“How about you, Tweek?” Craig asks the blonde, whose eyes widen at the mention of his name.
He looked at Craig, cheeks a tint of pink before looking at Jason. That uncomfortable feeling towards the brunette was back but quickly vanished when Tweek’s eyes returned to him. He truly has beautiful eyes. He stumbled with his words before he took a deep breath, letting go of his hold on the purple sleeve.
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine with the p-plan, man.” He said with a smile, but he was nervous that it looked creepy.
But Craig found it cute.
“Cool.” He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. He wanted to smile at him but not with the brunette around.
“Gah! Are we done here? I, ah, forgot my thermos inside my locker.”
“Yeah, I’ll drop the clothing at your shop.”
Tweek ran as soon as Token was done speaking. The three of them watched the blonde almost tripping but caught himself. Craig looked over at Jason, eyeing him from head to toe. The brunette didn’t turn his way and just had his gaze locked on the school doors.
“If you like him so much, why don’t you just confess?”
Craig and Token were taken aback to hear a full sentence from Jason. Craig knew the question is directed at him though, and he was fucking offended. His hands balled into fists inside the pockets and his teeth clenched.
“What do you mean?” Token asked, stepping close to the other noirette in order to calm him down.
“Craig likes Tweek. It’s obvious.”
Anger swelled up inside Craig. He growled underneath his breath, continuing to glare at Jason who didn’t even bother to look at them. And his nonchalant attitude was pissing the noirette off more. He was ready to punch the living daylight out of him, but Token had his arm out.
“What the fuck.” He said through gritted teeth.
“Jason.” Token warned but the brunette shrugged, finally looking over at the other two.
“Ignore me. I’ll see you later, Token.”
He went on his way, and Craig was expecting him to follow after Tweek but he didn’t. He kept walking down the street until the noirette couldn’t see him.
“He’s going to that ice cream shop again.” Token laughed, patting his best friend on the shoulder.
“How did you know that?” Craig huffs, shaking off the other’s hand.
“He always goes there after practice. And,”
They both saw Tweek run out of the school, clutching his bag straps. He looked over to them as he was catching his breath. He offered them a small wave before power walking down the street. Craig’s eyebrow twitched when the blonde turned at the corner Jason did.
“He blurts out weird stuff. He is nice though, just silent.”
“Hm.”
“Huh.” Craig blinks, surprised at himself that he remembers that particular memory well.
He remembers that his bag is on his back, and he bought something for the brunette. He shifts his bag to the front and unzips it. Inside are two pints of ice cream, one is vanilla flavored and the other is purple yam (ube) flavored. After taking them out, he places the latter pint of ice cream in front of Jason’s grave.
“Tweek said you didn’t really have a favorite flavor.”
Craig thinks this whole ordeal is pointless, but he silently opens his own pint. He grabs the wooden spoons that come with the pints and offers one to the tombstone. He takes a few bites of ice cream, running the memory earlier in his mind.
“I feel like I judged you before I got to know you. But you already knew something about me way back then.”
He nibbles the wooden spoon, sucking it a bit and tasting the vanilla flavor accompanied with the slight wood taste.
“I wonder, how did you know that I was gay and crushing on Tweek?”
He scoops more ice cream. He bought these pints from the same store that Jason liked to drop by. Craig often buys his sweet cravings from the Tweaks coffee shop. Now that he thinks about it, Tweek never told him why his own best friend refused to buy ice cream from the shop.
“I won’t lie. I still think that you’re weird. I don’t know you, like Tweek and Token do.”
He leans back, palms press on the grass as he looks above. Even though the sky is clear and the sun is shining above, Colorado air is still chilly.
He is not as imaginative as Tweek is. His boyfriend has confided in him that whenever they visit his best friend’s grave, he likes to imagine that he is sitting there with them, angel wings and halo present. Token admitted before that he does have a vision of the brunette whenever it’s his turn to talk to the tombstone.
Craig never said a word.
Jimmy and Clyde talked about school and it seemed they didn’t have an issue if they were close to the brunette or not. But that’s Jimmy and Clyde. Craig is different.
“At the same time, you seem so normal. Token said you liked musicals and I know you guys often duet whenever the locker room is empty.”
A purple hairstreak butterfly flies in front of Craig’s vision.
“Tweek said you also like collecting model sets. With the way they talk about you, it seems like you would fit right in with us.”
His vision lowers to the gravestone.
“But you never did fit.”
Craig sat at the front row, looking over at the stage as he placed his bag next to his boyfriend’s. Tweek is playing the piano on the stage, practicing a song that he needed to play at the opening of their school event.
The way that the light was directly above the blond’s head made him look like he had a halo.
Tweek stopped playing for a bit, looking over at him and waved. Craig waved back, then noticed the blonde’s eyes fell on to the door of the auditorium. The noirette didn’t even hear the door open. He turned his head and saw Jason and Token, in their soccer uniform.
Craig and Jason immediately stare at one another. After the metrosexual trend died down, their weird interaction before was forgotten. Craig would even say that they treat each other like school mates now.
They nodded as a greeting, while the noirette voiced one at Token. The other noirette greeted back and bumped his own shoulder against the brunette.
"H-Hiya, Jay. Token."
Jason waved at Tweek, tossing his bag on the plastic seat. He was sitting a row behind the noirette, while Token is closer to Craig. The two were panting heavily, limbs spread apart to let the room's air conditioning hit their skins.
"Are you practicing?" Jason asked the blonde, who nodded immediately.
"Oh, hey!" Token looked over to the brunette.
"You promised you'll sing the Cups song from Pitch Perfect with me, dude."
Craig raised a brow. He didn't know Token watched such a show, but then again, he does love singing in general. His eyes slowly looked over at Jason.
Jason is looking at Token, a small smile on his lips. He grabbed his bag and fished out a purple plastic cup. He casually tossed it towards the noirette, who gladly caught it.
"A-Ah, I never perfected that. Too much pressure." Tweek said, smiling sheepishly.
"Took me a while!" Token laughed, standing up to stretch his arms. “Jason managed to get it perfect in a day.”
“You give me too much credit..” Jason whispered.
Craig blinked as the duo sat on the stage’s stair, right in front of Tweek and himself. They were facing each other, with the cup in the middle. Jason flipped the cup, with the bottom facing them.
“I’ll sing the second verse.” Token said with Jason nodding at him.
“C-Craig, come here!”
Tweek stood up from the piano bench and sat on the step above Token and Jason. He smiled at his boyfriend, creating butterflies fluttering around Craig’s stomach, as he patted the spot next to him. Craig was whipped, so he stood up and sat with his legs crossed next to the blonde.
“You ready?” Token grinned competitively. Jason hummed before looking up from the cup.
“If I sing the first verse and chorus without any mistakes, you buy me ice cream after this.”
Token laughed heartily then nodded at the brunette. Craig shifted on his seat when Tweek leaned close to him, resting his head on his shoulder. The noirette wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and gave his arm a light squeeze.
“And vice versa.” Token countered to which the brunette pretended to think about it but ultimately nodded.
“C-Can we come with?” Tweek asked the two, surprising Craig. “There’s this flavor that I want Craig to try.”
Token moved from his seat to look up at Craig with a raised brow and a smile. Craig raised his middle finger at him, cursing himself when he felt heat creeping up to his cheeks. He still wasn’t used to having dates with Tweek but it’s something he wants to do more often.
“Sure, Tweek.” The other noirette said, his smile wider after being flipped off. He’s one of the few to not take offense at Craig’s rude gesture.
Jason took a deep breath.
Craig looks down at his ice cream pint, blinking before scooping up more ice cream. He is starting to eat faster as he closes his eyes, trying to remember more of the memory.
He feels the breeze blowing harder, his chullo almost getting caught in the wind.
He remembers exactly how Jason did it.
Clap your hands twice.
Tap on the bottom of the cup thrice with an alternating hand.
Clap.
Pick the cup up and move it to the right.
Clap.
Pick the cup from its side.
Tap the cup on the other palm.
Tap the cup’s ‘corner’ on the surface.
Swap the cup to the free hand.
Slap hand on the surface.
Flip the cup on the surface, next to the hand.
Craig’s foot moves to the beat of Jason’s hand movement in his memory.
“I got my ticket for the long way 'round
Two bottle o' whiskey for the way”
Craig rarely heard Jason sing. But his voice was nice to listen to. It’s not as angelic as Tweek, but it’s pleasant enough that it is no surprise Token likes singing with him.
As Jason continued to sing, the noirette noticed that the brunette glanced at Token.
“And I sure would like some sweet company
And I'm leavin' tomorrow, what do you say?”
Token’s arm is resting on Craig’s lap, and he is tapping on the other’s knee in beat with the cup. He was already smiling at Jason and the brunette returned the gesture, impressively moving the cup still and not messing up.
“When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone”
Craig blinked when Jason’s eyes quickly lowered on the cup as he sang the chorus. He felt Tweek shuffling closer to him and the noirette kissed the top of his head, still listening to the brunette sing and create a beat with his hands and the singular cup.
“”You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone”
Craig’s free hand searched for his boyfriend’s and their fingers automatically intertwined. The blonde’s hand is cold, but that’s because they are in the auditorium. Even though the noirette was still unsure of what to think of Jason, he didn’t mind having him around if Tweek is this calm.
“When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone”
The door to the auditorium opened making Tweek sit up straight but the brunette didn’t stop with his singing. Two familiar brunettes peeked inside, both of them grinning happily. Token let out a sigh of relief and gestured for Clyde and Jimmy to come in.
“You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh”
Tweek sighed, and scooted away from Craig, to lay down on the staircase and rest his head on the noirette’s lap. Token carefully retracted his arm, ruffling the blonde’s hair for a second before crossing his arms. Clyde and Jimmy waved at them before taking a seat on the step below Token and Jason.
“You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.”
Jason flipped the cup once more before sliding it over to Token, sitting up straight with a confident smile.
“What are you guys doing?” Clyde asked, getting a bag of potato chips from his own bag.
He tore it open, sending chips flying on his friends. Nobody scolded him though, each other just eating the potato chips that were on their laps and hair. Jimmy immediately dug his hand inside the bag and got himself a handful of the snack.
“Doing the Cups Song challenge. We’ll be going to an ice cream shop after this.” Token explains, stretching his hands and fingers.
“Your turn, pretty boy.” Jason teased Token to which the noirette shook his head while the others snickered. He was referring to the list the girls made and Token was the second cutest boy apparently.
“Man, fuck that list. Wasn’t even accurate.” Craig says as he scoops the last bit of the ice cream.
“Tweek’s the cutest.”
As if the blonde has heard him, Craig’s phone dings, indicating a message. But when he takes it out of his pocket, he sees that it isn’t the blonde who texted him. It is actually Clyde, asking him if the party they are going to throw for Tweek is going to be held at the coffee shop.
He quickly types a reply to the brunette before pocketing his phone. He takes out his math notebook from his bag and tears off a piece of paper from it. After cleaning the inside of the pint, he places it on top of his notebook, with the bottom facing him.
He takes a deep breath. He glances at the gravestone, noticing that the purple butterfly before is resting on top of the tomb, looking at Craig.
That tugs Craig lips into a small smile.
And his hands start moving, in time with the memory of Token in his mind.
“I got my ticket for the long way 'round
The one with the prettiest of views”
But while the beat and Token’s singing is what he is hearing, it’s not the same memory that Craig is now remembering.
“It's got mountains, it's got rivers
It's got sights give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you”
It’s that fateful day. His chest tightens as he closes his eyes, wanting to get rid of that memory but it keeps playing on his mind.
He saw Jason and Token passing the football, talking about which High School Musical was better. They were all there during that time. But he knew his brain and eyes were focused more on his blonde boyfriend. His love for him grew each day and that day wasn’t an exception.
“When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone”
It all started peacefully. Cartman just had to ruin everything.
“You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone ”
Craig and his friends talked before that event. They had planned to get ice cream again, all of them satisfied with Jason just hanging out with them whenever. Jason had once told them that he hangs out with whoever he wants, but the noirette at that time knew it was mostly Tweek and Token. There was no longer an awkward tension between all of them, but Craig and Jason resumed to just treat each other as school mates.
“Hey,” Craig looked over to Jason who was waving at Cartman. “I’m open!”
“Mississippi twelve.”
Craig, Tweek and Token shared a look, knowing the brunette’s competitive and playful attitude when sports was at play. Kyle’s counting echoed around them as Cartman groaned and faced Jason, the ball in his hand and above his head.
“When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere”
“You can’t catch!”
Craig couldn’t believe that he hadn't fucked up his movements. It is still in beat with the one Token was doing and singing from the other memory. But he doesn’t want to open his eyes at the moment. Or more like he can’t open his eyes, like he is being forced to rewatch the scene that is about to unfold.
Jason narrowed his eyes at the other brunette. Craig, Token and Tweek just continued to stare, but the noirette had a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“Dude, I’m open!”
Cartman released the ball. Craig swore he saw a dark smile forming on the brunette’s lips before he turned and ran into the street in an attempt to catch it.
“When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my hair
You're gonna miss me everywhere”
Craig’s breathing hitched when the police car came into their view, feeling like time was stopping at that exact moment. Red and blue flashing lights mocking all of them. He heard the loud thud echoing in his head, eyes wide as the scene unfolds. The football was still in the air.
The car didn’t stop, continuing down the road. Leaving a blood trail.
“Oh, you're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone.”
The football landed next to Jason’s bloody body two seconds later.
“When you’re gone, when you’re gone…”
Craig gulps, that heavy feeling back in his stomach and quickly creeping up to his throat. He slowly opens his eyes, noting that there are no tears rolling down his face. But he notices that the butterfly is now on the other ice cream pint, still staring at him.
He knows why he shed no tears, despite seeing, no, remembering, how someone died.
“They're gonna miss you when you’re gone.”
Because at that moment, Craig knew what saddened him more. He turned around, and his chest tightened. It was Tweek's broken stare at the brunette’s unmoving body. The way the noirette saw the blonde’s eyes glistened with tears but his sapphire eyes were dead.
Like a part of Tweek’s soul died along with his best friend.
“They're gonna miss you by your walk.”
He turned back since he couldn't stand seeing his boyfriend’s expression. He could only see Token’s back, but the way his shoulders rose and an audible gasp escaping him told Craig that the other noirette was just as shocked and devastated as his boyfriend.
“They're gonna miss you by your talk, oh.”
That’s why he ended up coming here with them. Listening to them tell the brunette what happened that day, or who won if there was a school competition. They have reasons to visit him. Craig? It’s more that he felt guilty for not feeling anything when the brunette died. Jason was just a schoolmate to him, not a best friend or a close friend like he is to Tweek and Token. But maybe he is just emotionless, because Clyde and Jimmy felt something, sadness, for him.
Craig felt nothing.
“...They're gonna miss you when you’re gone.”
He stares at the butterfly, who flaps its wings once before flying over to the noirette. Craig watches as it lands on his finger. A few minutes of silence pass by, and the cold breeze blows again.
“I’m sorry.”
The butterfly flies above the noirette’s finger, just enough that it is on Craig’s eye level. It doesn’t move further away, as if it is waiting for the other to say something else.
Craig smiles gently.
“Maybe we would be better friends in the afterlife.”
The butterfly flaps its wings once then goes its merry way. Craig sighs before pulling his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. He should be going, he still needs to visit a certain ice cream shop to give to his boyfriend.
It’s his birthday after all.
After fixing his things, he stands up, shifting his bag from one shoulder to another. He doesn’t want to take the jacket back, since it feels wrong to remove it from its rightful owner. So instead, he places his hand on the tombstone, silently praying.
He’s not a religious person, but he doesn’t mind giving the brunette a small prayer. And he threatened him to at least make his presence known during the party.
He turns his back on the grave, walking away.
“Tweek invited you. So, make sure to drop by, okay?”
He leaves the graveyard, feeling a little bit relieved that he finally let out these thoughts regarding the brunette. He takes a turn, happy that he knows what Tweek’s favorite flavor from that shop is. He tosses the empty ice cream pint he is holding to a trash can. While walking down the road, he spots a man looking through the other trash bins.
He realizes that he should have taken Jason’s jacket with him. Someone could have stolen it and Tweek would cut his head off if he learns that it is not with Craig when they meet today. He runs back, clutching his backpack straps tightly.
He feels the breeze blow past him. It is colder than before. And he swears he heard his voice.
“... Tell Tweek I said happy birthday. And thank you.”
He silently walks towards the tombstone. He unties the sleeves of the jacket and folds it on his arm. He looks down. A grin starts to etch itself on the noirette’s lips when he sees the purple ice cream pint open. And empty.
“Don’t get used to it, you bastard.”