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Kokichi's hands trembled in front of him. The tears poured and poured. As much as he hated to admit it, he wouldn't stop crying for a while. He raised a shaking hand to his hair and pulled as hard as he could, as if that would stop the pain.
He could barely see and his heart pounded in his ears. His chest tightened and it was so hard to breath.
He hadn't had an panic attack this bad in years. Screaming was too much energy, but he couldn't stay silent. Just as he thought it was over, loud sobs wracked his small form. Bile formed in his throat and he harshly vomited on the floor. The room closed in on him and he felt so much smaller than usual. Why couldn't he be normal? Like everyone else, having fun and laughing with their friends? He didn't have many friends.
Would they even care? They were probably only with him out of pity. They still thought he was annoying. They would never forgive him. Ever.
He scratched his skin until it bleed, kicked his legs until they could no longer move. He was so exhausted. A knock at the door caught his attention and only made his breath hitch in an uncomfortable way.
"Kichi? It's me, Shuichi..I brought something for you."
Did he hear him? Was he coming here to break up with him and tell everyone of his embarrassing breakdown?
His heart stopped. He forgot to lock the door.
"I'm just going to come in now, okay?"
No, not okay. He was dirty and crying and the throw up was still on the floor- but it was too late. The door opened.
"Hey um- WOAH- Are you okay?? Do you need an inhaler, ice pack, a hug?" Shuichi got down next to him. "Can you speak right now? Please answer me.." I shook my head no. "Okay, okay. L-let's get a bath running for you first. I can clean up the mess later."
Shuichi placed him in the warm bath water. It was soothing, just the right temperature, and there were bubbles too. He was gently pushed out of his trance when Shuichi softly spoke, "I'm going to wash your hair now, okay?" He nodded weakly. Saihara, always making sure he knew what he was doing and that he was okay with it. That was one of the many things he loved about him. Shuichi drank consent for breakfast.
Time passed, and he was out the bath.
He was dried and had on his pajamas. He grabbed his weighted blanket and put it over his shoulders. Just the right amount of pressure.
They both crawled into the bed. "Hey um, can you talk now?" I shook my head slowly, scared of disappointing him. His boyfriend ran his hands through Kokichi's hair, one of Kokichi's favorite shows of affection.
"That's okay hun. I really do love you. Even if we have to stay here forever, I will make sure you are okay. Please trust me enough to take care of you when you can't. After all, we have all the time in the world, my love."
Kokichi smiled. He was so glad to have someone like Shumai in his life.