Work Text:
The physics lessons start when at first she can't think of a reason not to wire a small, arm-sized version of one of the canons Ironhide designed onto the forearm piece of a human-wearable gauntlet. It turns out the reason is "because while the laser-canon shoots forward, you go flying backwards into the wall."
Honestly, Mikaela figures she should have known that: she's felt the kick from guns, she basically knows how engines work, and she saw Iron Man. As a moment of total Stupid it's pretty much excuse-less: a moment of absolute glee at figuring out how it all worked (at least on the mechanical end, even if she didn't understand why it worked yet).
She's just glad neither Sam, Lennox or Optimus saw her do it. And she's forbidden Bee, on pain of . . . something from telling Sam. Ever. Ever. He'd promised her in various radio-clips, because nobody could get his voice-box fixed again for love, money or even Satanic contracts.
However, in the aftermath of knocked over tables (and really, really sore hip plus a hell of a goose-egg), Mikaela's not sure what makes her want to laugh more: Rachet's expression of consternation-mixed-with-exasperation, or Ironhide's expression of consternation-mixed-with-pride. Or, to be fair, the adrenaline of realizing that while everything hurts, she didn't manage to kill herself or, you know, break anything.
She's considered just calling Ratchet and Ironhide "Mom" and "Dad" sometimes, but she figures they'd miss most of the joke.
But the incident means that the next morning she gets ordered to get "a lot of that stimulant you make from burnt seeds" (she swears Ironhide refuses to call it "coffee" out of sheer contrariness) and to wear something that's comfortable to sit in, because if she's "going to play around with extreme forces, learning how they work is the first step." The fierce glare that comes with the words, along with the glare she can feel from Ratchet's corner of the hangar, mean that Mikaela doesn't argue. Much.
"I almost failed math," she says, mostly because it's oh-jesus-fuck o'clock and the mess is designed for . . . well, honestly, she wasn't sure it's designed for anyone, but it definitely is not designed for someone who throws up if she eats protein before noon.
She hates everything. And the coffee's even bad today. What the hell?
"Twice," she adds.
"Given the way it's taught on this planet," Ironhide replies (and why is she not surprised he went through the internet and found this stuff?), "I feel this is only natural. Now pay attention."
******
The Xantium stands in front of her, the ship's hull stretching out and above, unbelievable and completely real. Mikaela stares up at it and thinks words like perfect and amazing and then wishes she'd read more books with ways of saying that so she'd know more, because fantastic sounds stupid and - actually, no, awesome's just right, she'll just sound like an idiot stoner if she says it out loud.
Instead, she says, "That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
The one introduced as Roadbuster looks unbelievably pleased at that. "She's a bit beat-up, mind," he says, with something like modesty and something like proprietary pride. Mikaela remembers saying the same thing about bikes and cars she refurbished, and smiles a little. "But we'll get her back to looking like herself in no time."
"Bugger that," Leadfoot grunts from behind him. "She'll be a whole hell of a lot better."
Apparently they'd learned English from listening to the BBC, or bad British comedies. Or something. Someday, Mikaela thinks, a new Autobot is going to show up with a French accent and there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to keep from laughing.
"Wanna show me the rest of her?" she asks, trying not to sound too much like she's five and this is the best candy-shop ever dreamed of. She figures she probably failed when Roadbuster gives her the equivalent of a grin, but hey - Optimus and Ironhide both think she should learn the ins and outs of the ship, which means she has to see it at least once.
******
It's when Banes is starting to attempt to swear in Cybertronian (which does not sound right at all coming out of a human mouth, Epps is the first to say) that he pulls her out from under the . . . whatever . . . that she and the Wreckers are working on by the ankle and says, "You and me are going into town to get a beer."
It totally is a ". . . whatever . . ." that they're working on. It's a kind of annoying hazard Autobot stuff: the lack of an actual solid external chassis means that until it's done, almost everything they do looks like a pile of wires, panels, girders and other metal shit. This one is no better.
"I'm busy - " Banes starts, kicking her leg out of his hands, and Epps shakes his head.
"You're starting to talk robot, kid. You need a break. I need a break. I want a beer. Go wash . . . whatever the hell that is - " he gestures to her hands. She wiggles her fingers at him.
"Alien lubricant," she says, with way too much relish and Epps puts a hand over his face.
"Yeah, thanks," he said, "I needed that. Go wash it off and we'll go get a beer."
******
(Eventually, a fic describing the start of Mikaela and Lennox's fling-that-turned-into-a-relationship-when-they-weren't-looking will go here, I just have to write it. Bear with me.)
******
Lennox flips over the report in his hand and points at the circles in the slightly grainy satellite photograph. "See there, there and there?" His finger taps each of them. "Powers that be figure that someone's trying to present their government with a nuclear power fait accompli, and ask forgiveness later."
Optimus takes a moment to double-check the meaning of "fait accompli" - a loneword from another language into English, as so many were, but not one Lennox used often, and tagged with the concepts of education and elegant speech. Optimus remains fascinated by the ways in which humans interact with their various languages, and how sprinkling their speech with loan-words from one indicates high standing amongst other humans, while others indicates much lower status - sometimes even though they were of the same family of language-origin.
Mostly, however, Optimus notes that when Lennox's language-choices becomes more formal, it indicates frustration or other negative feelings on his part. Optimus does not have Ratchet's sensitivity to these things, his role not requiring them, but even ordinary systems can take in the chemical indicators of Lennox's discomfort.
Optimus choses not to comment, and merely indicates agreement, noting, "It is unlikely to be heavily fortified." Lennox nods.
"No, our rogue minister wouldn't be able to afford it - " and then Lennox stops, having glanced up at a noise from one of the work bays. And then he stares. "What the hell is she doing?" he demands, pointing with his outward arm along his line of sight.
Optimus glances in the same direction and considers several clicks before answering.
Lennox can only mean Mikaela, who at the moment depends from a harness and two lines from one of the girders in order to give her a better angle on the damage Sideswipe sustained in the last engagement. Optimus still plans to speak with Sideswipe on the subject. There is bravery, and then there is recklessness, and then there is stupidity. The incident had certainly been firmly in the second category, and had bordered on the latter.
However, Lennox's tone indicated some consternation, perhaps outrage, for which Optimus cannot readily see cause, so the clicks of silence (barely perceptible to his human friend, he suspected) end with mildly observing, "I believe she has been enlisted to help Ratchet."
Now that Optimus tuned into that direction, perhaps there would be no need to speak to Sideswipe. The litany of reproach that the human female is aiming at him is colourful, perhaps, but appears to be having some effect.
"Why are we not a complete fucking moron in combat?" she's saying, as she maintains her position with the tip of one (bare, at the moment, having apparently shed her footware on the catwalk) foot on one of his shoulder-plates, one hand on the side of his head, and the other engaged in its work. "We're not a moron in combat because then Mikaela - that would be me," she clarifies, the word punctuated with a grunt of effort as she extends her reach, "doesn't have to hang upside down and get God-damned headrush headache and think that you are a total and complete idiot and almost as bad as her dad - which would be my male progenitor, if you're still behind on human slang - and that is not a good thing in case you were wondering you stupid bull-headed 'bot. What the hell were you thinking? You don't even have testosterone as an excuse!"
" . . . she's said that twice," Sideswipe complains. "What is 'testosterone'?"
"A biological hormone," Ratchet replies, looking more than a little amused. "Believed to contribute to aggressiveness - "
"Stupidity," Mikaela corrects.
" - in male humans."
Lennox gestures towards them, and Optimus recalls that Lennox probably can't hear the conversation. "She's only got one harness! Is she crazy?"
Optimus notes a secondary chemical change. Ratchett would know, but now Optimus begins to suspect that Lennox's objection has something to do with the changed nature of his relationship with Mikaela. Thus, Optimus forbears to say more than, "Ratchet and Sideswipe are both more than capable of catching her if there is a flaw in the supportive apparatus," with a careful rein on any note of reproach at the idea either Autobot would allow Mikaela to come to harm.
" . . . right," Lennox says, after a second's pause. "Right. Of course, I took that into account it's just . . . " He (and this is the only word Optimus can apply, in any of the human languages available) flounders, and recovers with, "She has a tendency to be way more reckless than she needs to be."
He must catch the look Optimus can't hide. The human medical staff is far too circumspect to say anything, but Optimus suspects that if they were given freedom of speech, Lennox might occasionally hear a similar diatribe to the one Sideswipe is currently enduring.
"Anyway," Lennox says, hiding any discomfort and rustling the map again.