Work Text:
He hit you.
That was it, those three words, that was all it had taken for Catherine to quite literally feel her heart stop in her chest.
He. Hit. You.
She had practically been able to hear the anger in Grissom’s words, the pain and disgust.
It had been years since he had sounded like that when he spoke to her.
Sure, they had had fights before, but it had been at least six years since he had looked at her like that.
Since she had seen that fire in his eyes, that desire to take another man’s life.
He used to look at her like that after he’d discover another bruise on her face or wrist, after she’d come to work limping or been unable to hold her eyes open during a case.
Back then that fire had been aimed at Eddie and only Eddie.
But earlier that morning it had been aimed at the smug lawyer on the other side of the glass from them.
The man who had gone too far when she had said ‘no’.
The man who had left a mark on her face that everyone noticed but no one commented on.
No one but Gil of course.
Because he knew her better than anyone else did, better than anyone else ever had, and he knew, and she knew that he knew.
She couldn’t hide from him.
Not fifteen years ago when they met in that dingy strip club.
Not twelve years ago when he had been the one at the hospital with her when her daughter was born.
Not ten years ago when he had begged her in the middle of the night to leave Eddie.
He knew.
He always knew.
Which is why she shouldn’t have been surprised when she heard the soft knock on her door, the sound breaking from her thoughts.
She let out a sigh as she set down her glass of wine, pushing herself from the couch and heading toward the front door.
She didn’t check the peephole, there was no need.
The only person who came to her house like this was him.
“Hey.” She opened the door slowly, her eyes taking his tired looking body as she leaned against the heavy object and smiled softly.
“Hey.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and smiled back. “May I come in?”
“Of course.” Stepping back, she allowed him into her space, her eyes watching as he scanned the living room and then turned his head toward the hallway. “Lindsey’s asleep. Conked out before I even got home.”
He simply nodded his head before turning his attention back to her.
Their interactions were never awkward like this before, so she didn’t understand why this felt like the hardest thing she’d ever done.
“Can I get you something?” Not that she had much to offer, her fridge was nearly empty after a week without a trip to the store. “Wine? Beer? Water? That’s all I got”
“I’m good.” Something was bothering him, she could tell.
“Why are you here Gil?” Not that she minded the company.
In fact, she had been secretly hoping that he would check up on her at some point.
“I um…” He removed his hands from his pockets and scrubbed at his eyes, his head tilting downward as he sighed. “I just wanted to apologize, for earlier.”
“Oh please.” Shaking her head back and forth she moved back to her spot on the couch, dropping down against the cushions as she grabbed her wine glass and took a sip. “You have no reason to apologize, I was the one out of line.”
“I just…” This wasn’t like him, stumbling over his words and everything, and when she turned to face him she could see that fire in his eyes again. “He hit you, Cath, I wasn’t okay with that.”
“Neither was I.” But there wasn’t much she could do.
“He came to your house. He spoke to your daughter.” That part had been the final straw for her, putting her family in jeopardy, that wasn’t okay. “I wanted to ring his neck.”
“Trust me Grissom, so did I.” She took another sip of her wine as she watched him move toward her, his body dropping to sit beside her, their knees bumping as he leaned back and closed his eyes. “I was going to tell you…”
“I know.” His hand landed on her thigh quicker than she expected and she swallowed as she turned her eyes toward him. “I’m trying to be better at that.”
“Better at what?” The last time she had checked, there weren’t many things that she asked more of him for.
“Listening.” Rolling her eyes she placed her glass on the end table and smirked.
“You’re the best listener I know.” That had always been the case too.
“Clearly I’m not.” He cast a look in her direction that sent a shiver down her spine and she closed her eyes as she let her head fall to his shoulder, her hand reaching down to rest on top of his. “If I had known…”
“You would have gotten us both in trouble.” No doubt he would have shared a few choice words with the guy, which would have inevitably ended badly.
“I’m sorry that I snapped at you.” That part had hit her hard, because he had to understand, right?
Sometimes, you just needed to get out and have a life.
But then again, this was Gil Grissom she was talking about.
A life long hermit who didn’t worry about things like that.
“It’s fine, Gil.” It hadn’t been fine when he had said it, and sure, it still hurt a little, but she wasn’t going to let it ruminate.
“You’re right though, you deserve to get out, have a life.” She opened her eyes as she tilted her head to look at him, watching as she let out a sigh.
“What?” He shook his head though, pulling his hand from hers and getting ready to stand.
But she wasn’t going to let him leave that easily.
So she dropped her own hand to his thigh and offered him a look.
He wasn’t getting away with this that easily.
“Nothing, Cath, it’s late…” It was not, in fact, the last time she had looked at the clock it was barely 10:00pm.
“Don’t even try that with me mister.” He sighed as he turned to face her, and that’s when she saw it, a flicker of something behind his eyes and she swallowed.
Was he… jealous?
He couldn’t be.
Could he?
“Really, it’s nothing.” Oh he was so keeping something from her and she was going to get to the bottom of it regardless of how long it took.
“Gil Grissom… are you… jealous?” Because if he was, then they had a lot of talking to do.
Amongst other things.
“Of who? The douchebag that beat you up?” He never used words like that, not unless he was all in his feels.
She could still remember the first time he had called Eddie a bastard in front of Jim and the man had nearly choked on his whiskey.
“He didn’t beat me up.” She growled, watching as his eyes darkened, his hand falling back to hers and squeezing tightly. “It was one strike, that’s it.”
“There you go again, Catherine, just like with Eddie.” He huffed out, his eyes continuing to darken as he stared her down. “Always trying to justify the violence. Acting like you deserve it, like it’s just the way things are.”
“I don’t do that.” Except, maybe she did, because to be honest, that was all she had ever known.
She hadn’t dated much before Eddie, and hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she had dated someone since Eddie.
But none of them had been very nice men, of that she was painfully aware.
“Yes you do.” He whispered. “You deserve better than that too.”
She watched as he finally turned his attention away from her and swallowed.
This conversation had certainly taken a turn into left field and she wasn’t even entirely sure how they had gotten here.
“Grissom…” Reaching out she laid her hand against his cheek, but he refused to turn toward her. “Grissom.”
She wasn’t sure what compelled her to let out the growl of frustration, but she was so tired of this back and forth shit with him and she wanted answers.
So she did the only logical thing.
She pushed up and over, her legs straddling his waist as she settled herself in his lap, her hands reaching out to grasp his face, turning him toward her.
He stared her down, his eyes darker than she’d ever seen them.
Sure, they were a little bit of a compromising position.
But it’s not like it changed things.
“What are you doing?” He whispered as she suddenly became painfully aware of his hands on her hips.
“You weren’t talking to me.” She whispered back, swallowing as she tried to ground herself a little and not pay attention to the fact that this was way more than a little bit of a compromising position. “I needed to get you to focus.”
“By straddling me?” Okay, yes, maybe this wasn’t her best move.
“It worked didn’t it?” Except, now he was probably focused on something else, because her mind was certainly wandering off to a faraway place where they were in this same position, but with very little clothing on.
“I’m certainly focused on you.” He whispered as his fingers gripped her hips and he tugged her closer. “But this is probably not what you had in mind.”
“Not even close.” She whispered back, her head shaking back and forth as she chuckled. “This probably isn’t why you came over here tonight was it either?”
“Not exactly.” But there was a hint of something in his voice that made her heart skip a beat. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t, not entirely.
She was still on edge and she was still shaky and she still felt like there was danger lurking at every corner.
Eddie had made her feel like that for far too long of her life and she couldn’t believe that she had let herself slip back down that dark road.
“You’re so full of it Catherine.” She nodded her head because he was right. “Talk to me. I’m here.”
“I was scared.” Her eyes closed on their own accord and she was thankful that when she leaned her head forward he simply let it fall to his shoulder, his arms moving to wrap around her tightly. “I was scared. I thought for sure that I’d be next. I thought he did it and I thought he would kill me next.”
Saying the words out loud that she had been thinking in her head was easier than she expected, but again, this was Grissom, the only person in this world that she had ever felt comfortable enough to be honest with.
“I wouldn’t have let that happen.” He whispered against her ear, his lips pressing against the skin just enough to send a chill down her spine.
“He came to my house, Gil.” She pulled back and let her eyes settle on his. “He talked to my daughter. He could have hurt her.”
“And then I would have killed him.” He whispered out harshly, his hands moving up to cup her cheeks as he brushed the tears from her skin.
It had never ceased to amaze her just how protective of Lindsey the man could get.
Someone who wasn’t even his flesh and blood and yet he’d move heaven and Earth for her.
Hell, she knew deep down he’d move it for them both.
“I just wanted something…” Closing her eyes she sighed. “Normal.”
“What’s normal these days?” His question was whispered and when she reopened her eyes his look had softened and there was a playful smile on his lips.
“Were you jealous?” She hadn’t meant for those words to leave her mouth and she guessed that by the raised eyebrow, he was just as shocked as she was.
“Yes.” But his answer shocked her more.
Sure, she had suspected that when they were younger and her relationship with Eddie was still kind of new that he had felt, something, for her.
But he had kept his distance after she had made it clear that she wasn’t leaving her husband.
She had been young and stupid and they both knew it.
But he had stuck around and been there for her regardless of his feelings for her.
And especially regardless of his feelings toward Eddie.
“Gil…” She didn’t get to finish her thought, not that she knew what she was going to say, because the next thing she knew his lips were pressed against hers and his right hand was moving to tangle in her hair.
And all coherent thoughts went out the window.
Because Jesus Christ she was straddling Gil Grissom and his lips were on hers and his fingers were sliding under the hem of her t-shirt and she was pretty sure that this was how she was going to die.
“Gil…” She pushed herself back a little, watching as he quirked an eyebrow at her, a look filling his eyes that she had never seen there before. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and she couldn’t help but chuckle. “Do you not like it?”
“What do you think?” She wanted to know if he understood just what this meant.
This wasn’t a line that they could go back over.
Once it was crossed, that was it.
“I think we should try again.” This side of him was one she hadn’t seen in years and she was loving it.
So instead of answering him with words, she let her head fall forward, capturing his lips slowly at first, then adding some pressure when she felt his fingers tighten in her hair.
This was such a new feeling, and yet, it was one of the most amazing things she had ever experienced.
And then his hands were tugging at the hem of her shirt, the two of them separating only enough for him to pull the garment over her head, tossing it to the side before slamming his lips against hers.
She wanted to get lost in him and never forget this feeling.
The feeling of his fingers dragging along her bare skin, over her stomach and across her sides, pressing gently into her lower back as he pulled her closer.
No one had ever touched her like that, with such ease and comfort, like he’d been doing it his whole life.
His tongue traced over her lips, begging for entrance, and she granted it, her hands moving down his chest and then under his shirt, skimming over the smooth skin of his stomach and up over his chest.
She had always found him attractive, but this, this was different.
In this light, in this moment, she was so downright aroused by his simple existence that it was scary.
“Bedroom?” He nipped at her lip as his fingers strayed around front, grazing over the skin of her breasts as he moved to kiss her chin softly.
She was both thankful and regretful for her decision to keep her bra on that night.
“Yeah.” And then she removed herself from his lap slowly, reaching out and offering him her hand as she watched him move to stand beside her.
“Lindsey…” She shook her head and smiled before turning toward him, her eyes taking in the blush that had settled along his neck.
“She’ll sleep through anything, remember?” Her daughter had always been like that, since day one, something she had always been thankful for.
Especially when Eddie would come home on a bender or just come home mad.
He could yell and scream and break things and the little girl never once so much as flinched in her sleep.
“Okay.” And then his lips were against hers and his hands were back on her bare skin and she felt like she was going to lose control right then and there.
This was something she had been dreaming about for the last fifteen years, something that she had done her best to hide and keep to herself, something that she never imagined would actually happen.
And yet, here they were, making out in her living room on a Thursday night.
It was funny how some things stayed the same while others changed in an instant.