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Unlikely Friends

Summary:

Doing dirty work for the worst woman alive is a taxing job. Having someone to talk to helps.
That is, if you can find someone sufferable enough.

Names changes in A/N for human au.

Notes:

hey y'all. ya girl's back at it again. i absolutely adore the sibling energy dark choco and licorice have in canon and you know what??? they should be friends.

As usual, names have been changed to make everyone not a cookie anymore. they are as follows;

Dark Choco - Darcy
Licorice - Ligetti
Pomegranate - Pomona
Poison Mushroom - Shroomie
Lobster - Lehua

This list will be updated and relisted in the beginning A/N on every chapter!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Darcy woke with a start. The same nightmare that had been plaguing him for the last few years had come again in the night. He quickly reached out to his bedside, where he knew he'd left the sword within arm's reach. The second he touched the leather handle, his pulse started to relax. He took a deep breath and sat up, not letting go of the claymore. 

 

Looking out the window of his quarters, it was still dark outside. It was always dark outside. He hadn't seen the sun since he…

 

Well, since he left home. 

 

With a sigh, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. His quarters in the Enchantress' Fortress were small and simple, a far cry from what he'd grown up in. He preferred it this way, less things, less reminders of the past. 

 

"Little prince…"

 

The voice whispered in the back of his mind, sickeningly sweet.

 

"You seem tired, little prince. Perhaps you should shut your eyes a while longer."

 

Darcy glared down at the blade, and spoke barely above a whisper, "You don't want me to sleep."

 

The voice hummed a laugh. "Not like you're used to, no. But you seem so very tired-"

 

"You're not using me again."

 

Silence. A low rumble of thunder echoed in the distance.

 

"Very well. I simply thought I'd offer."

 

The blade fell silent, and Darcy let out a sigh of relief. 

 

Darcy had fallen into its trap only once, right after he was banished. He shuddered at the memory.

 


 

Opening the tall doors to the Enchantress' council room, Darcy was greeted with the cold glances of his colleagues, irritated at his apparent tardiness.

 

"Late again, I see." The priestess did not look at him, only sat and polished her mirror.

 

He gave a minuscule head bow. "Pomona."

 

"Your dedication to not showing up on time is almost impressive. And here I thought nobles were supposed to be well mannered."

 

A chuckle rose from across the table. "Ha, seriously!" The young summoner jeered. "Maybe you should give your dumb title to Shroomie, since they can make it here faster than you."

 

As Darcy glared back at him, a short purple figure emerged from behind his chair.

 

"Huh?...Did my name get called?"

 

The summoner scowled. "Sit down, it was just a joke."

 

Shroomie smiled as they hopped up onto their chair. "Ligetti...you want a shroomie?"

 

Ligetti knocked the noxious spore away from his face. "No! For the last time, I don't want a frigging mushroom!"

 

Darcy took his place at the table as the two bickered. "Where is the Enchantress?"

 

Pomona tucked her mirror back into her sleeve. "Our Master is overseeing the production of a...special new monster. She has left today's briefing to me."

 

Ligetti groaned. "Seriously? Why you?"

 

"You don't really expect our Master to trust any of you with her list of commands, do you?"

 

A small laugh came from the man seated next to Darcy. 

 

Ligetti snapped at the sound. "What are you laughing at, newbie?"

 

Lehua shook his head. "This place is so poorly managed. How do you all get anything done?"

 

"By piping down and listening to your orders." Pomona said impatiently. She pulled a scroll out from her sleeve and opened it in one fluid motion.

 

"Lehua. You will be dealing with some unruly travelers that have come a bit too close to the fortress. There are not many of them, and they are relatively weak, so failure will not be tolerated."

 

Lehua stood, his crystalline claw faintly shining under the torchlight. "Easy enough. I'll get it done." He turned and left the table as Pomona continued;

 

"Shroomie. You and I will be traveling to the Eastern tip of the Vast Wilds to plant some black bramble seeds. Our goal is to cut off internal trade routes within Feldhauss."

 

Darcy glowered. Feldhauss was one of Whiteridge's neighbors, ruled by his aunt, Queen Holly. It had sustained the least damage when The Five disappeared, and remained relatively safe from monster attacks compared to the other three kingdoms. Naturally, the Dark Enchantress was doing everything in her power to knock them down a peg. 

 

Shroomie tapped their hands lethargically on the table. "Can I plant some shroomies?"

 

Pomona nodded. "Your mushrooms will keep the brambles safe from anyone foolish enough to try and prune them back. Our Master encourages you to do so."

 

Shroomie bounced in their seat, and let out a slow, quiet "yaaaay!"

 

Pomona returned her attention to the scroll. "Ligetti."

 

"Finally! What does she have for me?! I bet it's better than thorn farming."

 

Pomona gave him an unimpressed glare. "You will be gathering reagents from the Dragon's Valley."

 

Ligetti deflated. "What? That's it?! I could do that in my sleep!"

 

"Prince Darcy will be accompanying you."

 

Oh, great.

 

Ligetti slammed his hands on the table. "Why the hell do I get stuck with the oaf?! I don't need an assistant!"

 

Pomona rolled up the scroll. "He won't be your assistant. He'll be your babysitter."

 

Shroomie giggled as Ligetti turned bright red.

 

"I- I'm not a dumb little kid! If the Enchantress wants him to babysit so bad, she should send him with Shroomie!"

 

"Are you questioning our Master's judgement?" Pomona's voice was harsh, and silenced the room immediately. "You're lucky she's not here to hear such blatant disrespect. You will follow your orders to the letter, or else. Am I understood?"

 

Darcy saw Ligetti's knuckles turn white gripping the edge of the table, as he answered through gritted teeth. "Yes."

 

"Good. Now get on with your mission."

 


 

Darcy sat in one of the fortress' teleportation rooms waiting for his colleague. He had no idea how to operate the teleportation circle, or else he would have gone on without the young necromancer. 

 

He wasn't pleased with this assignment; Ligetti had a tendency to be chatty and obnoxious, and Darcy didn't need any more chatter to be subjected to.

 

"Little prince…"

 

Speak of the devil. 

 

"Silence."

 

"We are going to the Dragon's Valley, are we not?"

 

"I don't need your help."

 

"I wasn't offering it."

 

He glanced down at the claymore, the ruby in its guard glowing maliciously.

 

"Then what do you want?"

 

"Can I not speak freely, Little Prince?"

 

"No."

 

A cold laugh echoed in his ears.

 

"So cruel, so cruel...but it seems to me that you are upset."

 

Darcy sighed. "When am I not?"

 

"A fair point. You are displeased with your given partner, are you not?"

 

He did not answer. He didn't want to give it the satisfaction of knowing it was right.

 

"There is an easy solution to this. You simply need to lose the little gnat in the valley."

 

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic about being left behind."

 

"That's not what I mean by losing him."

 

Darcy froze. "...there is no reason to do something so drastic."

 

"Come now, Little Prince. Do you really think any of your comrades would complain? All of you are sick of him. You'd be doing him a favor."

 

His stomach turned. "Shut up."

 

"Fine, fuck you too!"

 

Darcy jumped at the external voice. Apparently Ligetti had walked in and started working on the circle unbeknownst to him. 

 

"Just thought I'd fill you in on what we're supposed to be doing, but if you don't give a shit, that's fine by me!" Ligetti angrily scratched the last few runes into the circle as it sparked to life. "Come on, let's go already!"

 

Darcy took a deep breath as he walked into the circle, doing his best to calm himself. "My apologies."

 

"Save it, brute."

 

With a flash of purple light, the two of them disappeared.