Work Text:
“Good morning, Dokja-ah.”
The same greeting from the dark black haired youth. Every day, at exactly the same time, he always brought breakfast to his lover's bed.
Dokja's habit that Joonghyuk has memorized by heart when he wakes up in the morning is to rub his eyes, yawn, get up and stretch his body, then ask...
“What are you doing here, Yoo Joonghyuk?”
A habit that has been repeated for two years. A static routine that made Joonghyuk almost completely sick of it. But Joonghyuk remained strong. After all, this is his duty.
While taking a sitting position beside the bed, Joonghyuk placed a tray of breakfast on the nearest nightstand. “I am your husband, Dokja. Since two years ago. And you," Joonghyuk brought Dokja who—always—had a confused look in his arms, and kissed the young man's forehead repeatedly. “Kim Dokja, had an accident shortly before we got married and had brain damage that caused you to forget yesterday's events.”
Dokja's face is downcast—always looking down, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Joonghyuk-ah." He said returning the hug of his lover.
Joonghyuk's heart always ached every time he heard it, but he calmly replied, "It's okay Dokja, it's not your fault."
They do the same thing, every day. One keeps on forgetting, while the other keeps on reminding. They feel guilty for each other and also forgive each other.
Lee Seolhwa, the doctor who had treated Dokja all this time, looked at Joonghyuk with a frown. Her right finger fiddled with a silver ballpoint pen. “There are many cases like this. I've heard that some can heal… but mostly it's a miracle factor.” Says her.
"Don't make it up. Speak reasonable."
“The chance of recovery is slim, Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi. Apart from the patient's strong will, medicine and therapy are just tools. The point is, Kim Dokja-ssi won't be able to recover if he just takes medicine."
Joonghyuk nodded in understanding. He had heard this many times. “Is it… because of the psychological trauma he went through, that it's not that he can't remember, but doesn't want to?”
“Could be,” Seolhwa leaned back against her work chair. "If you look at the accident he experienced, it's only natural. All of the victims died except for him. Dokja's survival is already a miracle."
Miracle… huh?
Not long after, Joonghyuk said goodbye. Maybe because it was too late, when he got home Dokja had already fallen asleep. But on the dining table, served dinner and a piece of note paper.
If the side dish is cold, warm it again in the oven. You remember how to use the oven, right?
Joonghyuk chuckled as he read the note Dokja left.
Don't forget to remind me again when you wake up tomorrow. I love you, Sunfish bastard.
"Yes i love you too." Joonghyuk muttered to himself before shoving rice into his mouth.
"Another sunny side up?" asked Dokja after the two of them finished their routine of brief introductions.
Joonghyuk's brow furrowed. "Again?"
“I vaguely remember that yesterday you cook sunny side up too, Joonghyuk-ah.”
Joonghyuk pressed the back of his hand to his lover's forehead. "You're not sick, right, Dokja? Don't you have a headache?"
Innocently, Dokja shook his head. "I'm fine."
"You took medicine last night?"
“Hmm… don't remember. It seems like drinking… or not huh? Why are you even asking that? How could I remember!” The pale-faced man's lips pursed in displeasure.
"But you remember what I cooked yesterday, Dokja." said Joonghyuk enthusiastically.
“I only vaguely remember! If you ask the whole incident yesterday, where do I remember. My last memory is the day two years ago! You're the one who just said that I was in an accident and… and—” Dokja cried then broke. He is frustrated. Cursing his current condition.
Joonghyuk hugged Dokja tightly. Wiping the young man's tears and then kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry..." he whispered softly. In his arms, Dokja nodded.
Joonghyuk didn't know whether to be grateful or afraid.
Grateful that Dokja is showing progress. And afraid that Dokja will remember the terrible tragedy.
Joonghyuk came home early today and finds Dokja watching a celebrity gossip program in the living room.
"Why don't you read a book?" Joonghyuk hugged Dokja from behind and kissed the boy's left cheek. Dokja is indifferent, too focused on watching the news of a famous actor's affair.
"Already, this morning. But because I forgot where I read yesterday, so I'm done... for now."
The dark black haired man took off his work coat and then walked to the kitchen to get a glass of cold water from the refrigerator. "Even though a week ago you insisted on buying the book."
"Hah? Really? I don't remember…” Dokja fed the popcorn that was on his lap. When the gossip show ended, he grabbed the remote and looked for something interesting to watch on another tv station.
"You didn't cook today, did you?"
"Hu-um. It's bored. I just want to eat outside."
Joonghyuk sat next to Dokja. His right hand grabbed the submissive's shoulder in his possessive embrace. "What do you want to eat? Ramyun? Or western food?”
Dokja rested his head on Joonghyuk's chest. “Hmm… I want barbeque…”
“Dine in or delivery?”
"Dine in. Bored at home all the time."
Joonghyuk smiled at Dokja's honest words. "Okay, let's change clothes." And Dokja complied with enthusiasm.
Like young people who are intoxicated with love, Joonghyuk and Dokja spit out their affection in public. The two of them held hands, occasionally Joonghyuk kissed his lover's face. They seemed to forget the cold winter air that pierced to the bone.
In a classic-style restaurant, the two exchange mouthfuls. Occasionally teasing each other and laughing. Dokja and Joonghyuk spend the day like a normal couple who can remember good memories—though here, only Joonghyuk can remember them.
Dokja doesn't care if he forgets this moment the next day. After all, he and Joonghyuk can still create new moments—or do the same thing but feel new—for Dokja.
“I remember this restaurant. This place… our first date right?”
Joonghyuk smiled. "Your memory before that incident is still good, isn't it… even though that was four years ago."
"Of course. I used to be smart." Dokja said proudly. Joonghyuk nodded in agreement. “But… I completely forgot. How and what happened on that day…”
"What do you mean?"
"My accident?"
The dark black haired youth sighed, then placed his chopsticks on the table. His appetite suddenly disappeared. "We already promised not to talk about that again."
Dokja's brow furrowed. "Did we really promise like that?"
"Yes. And you've forgotten it. That is right?"
"Okay, I give up. Even if you tell me, tomorrow I'll forget." Sweet face bent in such a way, expressing annoyance. Joonghyuk didn't comfort him. After all, soon Dokja will forgive him.
-oOo-
“You remember Lee Joonghyun, Joonghyuk?” asked Dokja suddenly as the two were on their way home.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't take his eyes off the empty highway. "Your friend right?"
"Hu-um. Do you know where he is now?"
“Dokja, if it's about the past—”
"Not that. I don't want to bring up the past. It's just… I'm bored. There is no friend to chat with other than you. I don't even remember the names and faces of the neighbors around our house. All I remember is my friends from college.”
Joonghyuk glanced at his lover who was sitting on the side seat. he exhaled heavily. "I'll look for him, if that can make my lover stop complaining."
"Is that true?" Dokja smiled happily.
Joonghyuk nodded.
—it's okay, tomorrow Dokja will forget about it.
Dokja woke up from his sleep and groaned softly. His head was hit with a hammer, his surroundings spinning. Dokja endured the pain by biting his lower lip. He released himself from Joonghyuk's arms and walked towards the bathroom.
It's strange, even though Dokja feels unfamiliar with this place, he knows where the bathroom is. He even questioned Joonghyuk's presence at his bedside.
Dokja forgot everything after opening his eyes.
The reflection in the mirror of the sink made his brows furrow. Dokja stared at the reflection of his own eyes intently.
Why?
Why doesn't he seem to recognize himself?
He desperately remembers who he is. Who is he really? His memory that always disappears every dawn rises. Slowly his memories float to the surface like puzzle pieces. Dokja groaned as his head felt heavy.
A truth is revealed. Dokja had tears in his eyes, staring blankly at his reflection in the mirror.
He returned to his bed, and let Joonghyuk who was still asleep hugged him from behind. Dokja waited for the dawn to come without letting himself fall asleep.
The young man only wanted one thing, the truth.
"Good morning, Dokja-ah." Joonghyuk woke his husband by kissing his forehead.
Dokja groaned for a moment, before smiling faintly.
“You remember me, Dokja?”
Dokja shook his head.
The dark-haired man sighed knowingly. “I am your husband, Dokja. Since two years ago. And you-"
“But my husband died a long time ago, Yoo Joonghyuk.”
Pair of onyx widened, Joonghyuk stepped backwards. "What do you mean-"
"I remember everything. I remember what happened that day. The day you slaughtered everyone in my family. You killed Joonghyun, killed my adoptive parents too!”
Dokja looked at him, with a look full of hatred. He had remembered everything. Including his days in this peaceful drama scenario. Everything Joonghyuk said was a lie—even though his love was the only truth.
"Why?" the voice was hoarse and quivering. There is a lot of emotion that comes out of his question. “WHY DID YOU KILL THEM ALL YOO JOONGHYUK?!”
Joonghyuk's face lowered, looking at the marble floor beneath his feet. His expression was unreadable. But soon, he laughed. “You must be hallucinating, Dokja. Didn't I always remind you not to forget to take your medicine? Oh yes you must have forgotten it. You're senile, Dokja."
Slowly, Joonghyuk stepped closer to him. Dokja tries to escape by retreating backwards. But what can he do, he is cornered because of the wall.
Joonghyuk framed Dokja's face with his palms. Forcing a pair of onyx to stare at him. “Kim Dokja, remember. I am your husband. We have been married for two years. Saying the sacred promise in front of the altar to always be together. Take care and love each other."
"Lie! I made that promise with Joonghyun! Not with you!”
"Dokja, you know that—"
"Do not touch me! You murder!”
It all happened so fast. Joonghyuk, who was dark in his eyes, hit Dokja unconsciously with the night lamp beside the table. Blood red stained the white bed sheets.
With a straight face free of guilt, Joonghyuk sighed. "I told you to always take your medicine, my dear Dokja."
Dokja opened his eyes. He felt a pain at the tip of his forehead. The first sight he saw was Joonghyuk's flat face who was gently stroking the top of his head.
“Ah, you're awake Dokja? I panicked when I saw you fall and bleed earlier." Said the black hair.
Dokja tried to get up from his sleeping position while wearing a confused expression. "I fall? When? And why are you here, Yoo Joonghyuk?”
Joonghyuk smiled, “I'm your husband since two years ago. And we have promised to take care of each other and love each other forever. Did you forget about it?”[]