Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy. He was! Tubbo loved his family, he loved Michael and Ranboo and Tommy. But seeing Wilbur again and seeing how his old leader just seemed to automatically assume that he’d be willing to join him, to forgive him - Tubbo just needed to prove them all wrong. He was not just going to blindly follow anyone who spares him a few nice words every now and again.

And yet, that’s still exactly what he is doing right now?

Tubbo sat bored behind the desk of his burger restaurant. He yawned as he spun mindlessly in an office chair he had stolen from one of the office buildings around town. You see, the truth was, Las Nevadas was a ghost town. A town built out of gold and templates from old books. There was no heart in Las Nevadas, it was just an empty parody of the greats. A pretender that held no life. 

Las Nevadas was not L’manburg. L’manburg was built by hand, no guidebook and no expectation. Even New L’manburg held more soul than this place. Tubbo sometimes wondered if Quackity was just as insane as Wilbur. It would make sense, only insane people make the same mistakes over and over again. He wondered if Quackity saw people lining the streets, offering him gifts of gratitude and praising the unfortunate earth he walked on. He wondered what his new dictator saw from the top of his template tower. He wondered if the man saw thousands of people being happy. Or did he see the truth? Did he see the ghost town? Honestly, the town didn’t even have ghosts as it had only been around for a few months.

Tubbo sighed and turned in his chair to face the wall. Staring at the wall was somehow more interesting than staring at a door that would never open. Tubbo was proven wrong as a loud bell chimed to signal that the door had opened. The sound knocked Tubbo out of his stupor and he stumbled to the front desk. “Las nevada’s Bur-”

“TUBBO!” Ah, Tommy, “What are you doing here? Why are you running the enemy burger store? Hmm?” Tubbo wasn’t sure why but today felt off. Maybe it was because of his fight with Ranboo a day ago, or because his best friend had just labelled him as the enemy for a second time.

“I’m not the enemy and I just wanted a little change. I don’t want to-”

“TUBBO! Ranboo is distraught and you’re leaving us! For Quackity! The guy who executed you!”

“Well actually-”

“And now you’re working for him. When will you ever think about anyone other than yourself?”

Tubbo had no idea why that statement affected him so much. All he knew was that his emotional dam was full now and the wall was breaking.

“When will I think about anyone other than myself?” He whispered, more to himself than to the angry boy in front of him. Tubbo laughed bitterly before continuing, “Tommy. Oh Tommy,” The boy in question had never heard his friend talk like this and the look in his eyes reminded him of the old Wilbur. The one who had reached the end of his line. The one who looked simultaneously like an afraid animal and the scariest monster you could have ever dreamed of.

“Tommy, I have never once thought about myself. This is the second time I’ve ever made a decision by myself, one that doesn’t even hurt you! Yet still! You’re here and you’re mad at me because I don't just want to be a yes-man anymore!”

No one spoke.

Until Tommy’s voice broke through the silence like a knife through butter, “If you didn’t want to be a yes-man, Tubbo, then you wouldn’t be here. Sitting behind a desk in a restaurant that someone else owns and in a town that someone else owns. It’s your destiny.”

When had it gotten like this?

“Get out.” Tommy didn’t hesitate. He slammed the door behind him - no goodbye.

The realisation that Tubbo had just ruined everything again set in and he ended up smashing his head into the marbled countertop. Tubbo yelled at himself for what felt like hours. He hated this. He hated himself. He always messed it up. 

The bell rang again and Tubbo groaned - he did not want to deal with anyone else today. He just wanted to wallow in his sorrow.

“Las Nevadas’ Burger joint,” He kept up the upbeat customer service voice before drastically changing his tune, “Go away.”

“Wow! That’s not the welcome I was expecting!” A new voice, one Tubbo had never heard before. He looked up and was met with the sight of a very short girl carrying a large amount of posters in her arms. 

“This isn’t a good time-”

“Can I have something to eat?”

“Sure, I guess.” Tubbo stood up from his seat and made his way over to the fridge to get out one of their patented patties to fry.

“My name is Aimsey by the way.”

“Tubbo.”

Tubbo wasn’t sure why he liked Aimsey so much. Maybe it was because she reminded him of a Tommy from long ago. Was that selfish?

“Hey Tubbo?” The pair had moved from the diner to the spawn where Aimsey would be teleporting back home. Tubbo felt a melancholy flow from his head to his toes as he realised he’d be saying goodbye to another friend today - even though they had just met. “Would you like to come with me?”

Tubbo had heard all afternoon about Bear’s Town and how peaceful it was. It reminded him of L’manburg - the first one. Just a community, having fun. But the threat of war did not hang heavy over Aimsey. It seemed safe. 

And it’s not like anyone here would miss him, maybe Michael, but everyone else seemed to hate him. Both of his closest friends here were mad at him so why should he stay? They clearly didn’t want him.

“Yes. I’ll come. But just for a bit. I wanna see if this town is as pog as you make it sound.”

Aimsey’s eyes light up and her face breaks into a large grin, it’s hard to remember that Tubbo’s actually the younger of the two. “Yes! I can’t wait for you to meet the others! Let’s go!”

The Realm portal still stood open from when Aimsey first arrived. She dragged him through the yellow particles and out into her own world.

No goodbye.

Chapter Text

Tubbo felt the familiar dizziness that came from teleporting. He wasn’t sure why but everything about this realm felt brighter. For some reason, Tubbo didn’t feel the general amount of uneasiness that he usually did. 

“Wow.” Bear’s town wasn’t anything special. It was just that, a town. But for some reason it amazed Tubbo. It was just so tranquil. A place you could settle down in. Tubbo turned to Aimsey who stood next to him with a smug grin on her face, “I told you so.”

Tubbo smiled too, “Eh, it could be better. A bit too overgrown for my liking.” He joked.

Aimsey grabbed his hand and began to pull him down the street, his flinch wasn’t missed by either of the pair. “This is like the centre of town-”

Out of all things Bear expected to see out of his bedroom window, Aimsey dragging a very short, very scarred goat hybrid around town was not one of them. He had almost dropped his mug out of surprise! 

“So who’s in charge around here?” Bear heard the boy asked. 

“No one! I mean, Bear kinda, but it’s not like he bosses us around or anything. He was just the first,” then she muttered something to herself that none of the others managed to catch, “Well second if you count Beep.”

Bear decided it was about time he met this new traveller. After saying goodbye to his wife and hooking a leash onto Chat’s collar, he left home. 

Honestly, Bear hadn’t meant to frighten the boy, it was an accident. He also wasn’t expecting the boy to draw a heavily enchanted netherite sword on him.

“Don’t worry! Don’t worry! I’m a friend!” This boy reminded him of Niki, how she was so drained and quick to fight anything that threatened her. The sword was sheathed again and the boy visibly untensed.

“Hey Bear!” Aimsey seemed unfazed by her friend’s weird behaviour, “This is Tubbo!”

Tubbo.

Memories of his and Niki’s conversations flashed into his mind. The tales of a corrupt president and a child soldier. The epitome of government and someone who can’t be trusted. All Bear saw was a damaged child, but that was probably just a trick to gain trust. He’d keep up the pleasantries for now but the second this boy slips up, he’s out. Bear doesn’t want a repeat of last time. 

Tubbo smiled awkwardly. He felt so out of place and scrutinized. Had his story reached Bear’s town? The tales of how much of a coward he was, how he just can’t seem to stop hurting the ones he loves. This was supposed to be a fresh start.

Ranboo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He stood outside his beloved’s bedroom door. After spending the night at his home in the tundra plains of Technoblade and Philza’s land, he had thought over his last conversation with Tubbo.

He thought over the fact that he was only looking at this from one side and he didn’t actually understand Tubbo’s side. There must have been a reason. Maybe Quackity threatened him? Ranboo also knew that Tubbo was definitely not the best with words.

“Um, Tubbo?” Ranboo paused, “Can I come in?” Nothing. Ranboo bit back an enderman gurgle as he bit his lip. What if something had happened? Ranboo knocked on the door, paused, and still nothing. With a deep breath, he opened the bedroom door. Tubbo wasn’t there and the smell of gunpowder and oil had faded. Tubbo didn’t come home last night.

Ranboo rushed to Michael’s room and brought the sleeping Piglin into his arms. Poor little guy, he definitely went to bed without dinner. Michael was fine though. Tubbo was who he was worried about.

Chapter Text

Tubbo was tired. Even more tired than before. He hated the feeling of someone judging him but he knew Bear’s town would be better than going back to Dreamland. Aimsey had allowed him to stay in her treehouse until he built his own house. 

It was so warm here. Naturally, Dreamland was very cold - it even snowed in the deserts. Tubbo was used to having to be wrapped up in three woolen blankets and even then he’d still feel cold. Here, he felt hot with only a single blanket covering his legs.

All this change, even though he had sought it out, was too much. He needed to go for a walk. Tubbo sat up and threw the blanket off his legs. He looked down at his legs. They didn’t feel like him. Tubbo knew they were his legs but he just hadn’t stopped to look at them in awhile. 

They had guessed it was a curse. To gain animal traits as you lost more and more of your humanity, your soul, your lives. Phil used to have magnificent black wings that became iridescent in the sun. Schlatt had a pair of horns and fur covered his arms. Wilbur. Wilbur, Tubbo remembers that one day he had seen his old leader without his trenchcoat on. A pair of malformed black wings that had feathers ripped from them stretched awkwardly from his back. They would never have been as beautiful as Phil’s, maybe that’s why he took them with his death. 

Tubbo had hooves and horns and fluff. He hated it, he looked like Schlatt. Even though his horns were different and he had speckles of blonde in the tufts of fur around his ears and on his legs. His right ear, that hadn’t been blown off in his execution, was longer and more floppy. But still, he had devil horns and brown hair and that was enough to make the comparison to the old president of Manburg.

Pretty much every part of Tubbo’s body was scarred. His legs had scars from running through berry bushes in Snowchester with Ranboo. His face and torso had burn marks from his second death. His fingers were covered in tiny little scars from glass shards and poison tipped arrows. There was a place on his shoulder that had been irreversibly damaged from his first death where he had been hit by a damage potion - the area was completely numb to touch. And then there was a scar on his neck. That would’ve been the final scar he would have ever received. There were more scars, less noticeable and overlapped by others but each scar had a story.

Tubbo sat at the top of a hill outside a church looking building. It had a material he had never seen before for its roof. Aimsey had called it copper, apparently it conducts electricity. Tubbo swung his legs off the side of the cliff and watched the stars. The stars here were different but the same. Tubbo couldn’t see very far so honestly they just looked like nothing to him but he assumed they’d be different.

Tubbo’s ear flicked as he heard someone approach over his tinnitus. The person had light feet, probably cloven, they sat next to him. Tubbo took a peak out of his right eye. “Ranboo?” He turned to face the person. “Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else.” He apologized before focusing back onto the horizon. 

The person was tall like his beloved. They had antlers and freckles that painted their cheeks. They had long hair that was a dirty blonde colour. “Um, my name is Sniff.”

“That’s a weird name.” Sniff’s nose scrunched up as they turned to Tubbo with an unhappy look on their face, “Yeah well your name is Tubbo and that’s also weird.” They pouted.

“How do you know my name?” Tubbo’s gaze turned to look just beyond his hooves. There were scars around his ankles from soring - similar scars graced Sniff’s otherwise perfect fur. 

“Um, Bear, he told me someone new had arrived and would be staying for a bit.” They seemed to shrink away. 

“Oh. So you haven’t heard about me from elsewhere?”

“No. Are you famous or something?” 

“Ha!” Tubbo exclaimed, “Famous is one way to put it.” Sniff gave him a weird look before continuing onto a new topic of conversation.

“I-I’m only staying here for a little bit. I’m just waiting for my friend to come get me.” They didn’t fit the usual archetypes Tubbo was used to working with. It was clear that although Sniff had tried to come off as not wanting to talk, they clearly did want to. 

“What do you do around here?” Tubbo shifted the topic again.

“Um, I build. I built all of the roads and a few of the houses..” They trailed off awkwardly.

“Oh cool! I love building! In fact, I’ve built a total of two cities and one town.” Sniff looked at him skeptically, “What? You don’t believe me?” No reply, “Well it’s not my fault you’re an idiot.”

“Hey! That doesn’t even make sense!” Sniff yelled quietly - which is somehow possible.

Tubbo wasn’t sure why but something about them just reminded him of Ranboo. And maybe something in Tubbo reminded Sniff of their friend. 

“What do you mean he’s gone missing?” Tommy shouted. Ranboo had looked everywhere for Tubbo. He had gone to all the usual spots and the unusual ones. Tubbo was nowhere to be found. “Well he couldn’t have gone too far.” Tommy tried to rationalize. He couldn’t lose Tubbo - not again.

“Tommy-”

“Have you checked the crater? Or-” Tommy had begun to pace as his tail flicked back and forth anxiously.

“Tommy-”

“Maybe he’s gone to Sam, have you checked there? Or Foolish-”

“Tommy!” Both teens stopped. Ranboo let out a deep breath before continuing a lot quieter, “He’s gone.”

“No, no, no, no. He c-can’t be!” Memories of Dream and his axe held against Tubbo’s throat, the slight dribble of red blood tracing down his collar bone, like the tears on his cheeks. Tommy began to hyperventilate, the memory of his argument yesterday with Tubbo flashing through his mind’s eye.

“This is my fault.”

Chapter Text

Tubbo and Sniff stayed up almost the whole night. They just talked. Nothing deep or too personal, neither had enough trust in one another for that. Everything about their conversations stayed surface level. But it was nice.

When Tubbo got back to the treehouse in the morning, Aimsey was still snoring away peacefully as a rooster called in the distance. Tubbo yawned and sat back in the bed. He wasn’t going to sleep, he just wanted a place to stay. He wanted to just switch off for a bit. The last few days have been so much and he had no idea how he was keeping up with it all. Was he keeping up? 

Aimsey woke up a little while later. Somehow energized the second her eyes opened. She had apologized for waking up later than Tubbo. Tubbo assured her that it was fine and he had only woken up a few minutes before. He hadn’t slept in over two days.  

And with a cup of coffee in both of the teens’ systems, they set off. Looking for a place around town for Tubbo to build his house. 

Tubbo didn’t truly feel welcomed yet. Sure, Sniff and Aimsey didn’t seem to mind his presence but Bear was the leader and he definitely didn’t seem to like Tubbo. He decided that building a small house on the outskirts of the little town would be the best idea. Which leads him to where they are now. 

A tall tower that looked similar to the UFO Purpled lived in and the underground bunker he built, stood ominously in front of him. “Woah.”

“Yeah,” Aimsey paused, “It goes all the way up to the sky limit.” 

“Can we go up there?” Aimsey nodded and pulled him inside.

It reminded him of the towers Tommy built. His heart ached and his eyes stung. He missed that. He missed when Tommy would joke around with him, when everything wasn’t so serious. He missed building disgusting towers to annoy everyone and playing pranks and burning down trees. He missed the warm feeling in his chest when he ran into a loved one’s arms. He missed Michael’s gurgly laughs and Wilbur flicking him on the head to get his attention. 

“Tubbo?” They had reached the top now. They were both standing looking over the edge at the town below. Wind blew the thick curtain of hair out of Tubbo’s eyes. 

“I’m married.” Why was he telling her this?

“Good for you, I guess?”

“And I have a kid.” Stop.

…

“His name is Michael. He’s turning four in a few weeks.” Please. “And I’m gonna miss it.” 

“Oh. You can always go back?”

“No.” Tubbo, this hurts. “I can’t. They all hate me. Mikey probably hates me too.” Tubbo let out a bitter laugh as tears tried to scrape their way down his cheeks, “And I promised myself I’d be there. After Dream. I said ‘just one more birthday’. And now look at me!” Tubbo turned to Aimsey, a sad smile twisting his face, “I just can’t keep going. It hurts so much.” 

Aimsey wrapped her arms around Tubbo’s waist and buried her face into his chest. “This is scary.”

“I’m sorry,” Tubbo tried to pull away, Aimsey only held tighter. 

“I’m not letting you go. I know we’ve only known each other for a little bit but- I’m not. Just one more birthday. Just until you’re 18, okay?” Tubbo didn’t say anything. 

“It’s my fault. Oh God.” Tommy began to pull at his hair. “No. What if- what if he- no!” Ranboo had no idea what to do. The thought had crossed his mind too but.. 

“Maybe he’s just gone like on a vacation or something? Like to get away? We- we could ask XD?”

“Y-yeah. Fuck this hurts.”

And so the two set off to Church Prime. Ranboo rang the bell and Tommy prayed. XD was their admin, he’d surely know what happened to Tubbo - they could only hope the god would be willing to help him.

Thunder crashed from above in the always moody sky. Tommy flinched. The heavens opened and the god aparated in front of the pair. “I was busy. What do you want?” His deep voice echoed off the quartz in the church. XD looked like one of those biblically accurate angels - because he was one. 

“We want to know where Tubbo is.” Tommy tried to keep his voice firm and his fear hidden. There was always a chance that the god might be in a bad mood and bam! You’re dead. Tommy couldn’t risk that. 

The god sighed like Tommy had just asked the most annoying question ever. He hovered boredly in front of the pair, his many arms crossed. “That’s all?” Ranboo nodded and audibly gulped. One of the god’s tails flicked at the sound as he perked up. “Afraid?”

“No!” Tommy yelled, his fists clenching. 

The god huffed and relaxed again, “Do you want to know or not?”

“Where is he?” Tommy was firm. 

“I don’t know.” It felt like the god was mocking them as his voice became higher in pitch. Tommy hated it because for a second XD sounded just like Dream. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” The god shrugged,

“He’s gone. Left last night.”

“Gone where?!” Tommy yelled. XD stuck his hands out like he was under arrest for something.

“Hey! Don’t yell at me! It’s not my fault he left. The kid went by his own free will. Gone to another realm.”

“What do you mean by that?” Ranboo, who had been quiet this whole time, spoke up.

“I mean, he’s no longer here. Like in this realm of existence.” Tommy’s eyes widened, “He’s not dead or anything - don’t give me that look.”

“Can’t you.. bring him back?” Tommy asked.

“No. The god of that realm and I have.. beef.” Tommy chuckled. Hearing that two gods had, ‘beef’ was the funniest thing he’d heard all day.

“How can we get him back?” Ranboo was serious, you could see it in his eyes as he stared directly at one pair of eyes the god had. The god paused before answering,

“You can’t.” Both teens deflated. “Look, you can ask around to see where exactly he’s gone but other than that there’s not much.”

“Why can’t you just tell us?” Tommy sounded frustrated, they both were. The god’s smile seemed to grow wider as he brought his index and middle finger up and crossed them, “Godly rules ‘n all! I’m not allowed to interfere with anything he does and he’s not allowed to interfere with me.”

“But he took Tubbo, didn’t he?”

“No. Free will, remember?”

“Well! I’ll be off now! I hope that helped.” And with that, the god was gone.

“We’re all gonna be having dinner together tonight. Since there’s a bunch of new people or whatever.” Aimsey said as she dug through a chest looking for spare clothes for Tubbo. Tubbo sat on top of his bed. He had just had a shower for the first time in months. It was forced. “Here! These should fit.” 

A pair of baggy dungarees and a long white shirt were handed to him. The shirt reached his elbows, although it was definitely not supposed to. The dungarees ended just below his knees, leaving his scarred legs on full display. He was a little uncomfortable but he wouldn’t turn down the hospitality. 

Aimsey pulled out a hairbrush and stepped over to Tubbo. His eyes widened, although it couldn’t be seen by his knotty, and wet, fringe. “No, no, no.”

“But Tubbo,” She whined. 

“Fine.” Aimsey sat down next to him on the bed and brushed through the hair. It hurt - at first. But after a while, it became calming. The sound of the brush relaxed him and eventually he began to lean into the touch.

After a bit, Aimsey began to braid the hair. She put the curly locks into Dutch braids on either side of his head, minding the horns that curved upward from his skull. Tubbo looked to Aimsey nervously. He really wasn’t sure about this. “Your eyes are really cool.” 

“Um.. thanks..” He had goat eyes with rectangular pupils and a deep blue iris. 

Tubbo sat next to Sniff at the long table. Aimsey was sitting next to Bear - Tubbo didn’t feel too welcome there. The table was full of people. There was a skeleton talking about trench coats - he’d definitely get along with Wilbur. A man in a mask sat quietly next to him. He’d sometimes try to guide the skeleton into a different direction. The skeleton reminded him of Tommy, a similar accent too. There was an awkward looking human sitting opposite Aimsey. She seemed to be hiding something. 

And then there was Niki. Who sat opposite him and hadn’t stopped glaring the entire time. Tubbo just wanted to undo the braids and hide. He hated this so much. Sniff also seemed to not be having a good time.

Next to Niki sat a guy in armour. He talked across the table to the awkward human and to the man next to him. The man had sunglasses on and a red cape. The two were apparently knights. 

After a while of chatting, and Niki-glaring, Bear stood up. “As you all know, we have some new people who have joined us.” Everyone went quiet as Bear spoke. “I’d like to warmly welcome Sniff, CaptainSparklez and.. Tubbo into our town.” Bear raised his glass of wild berry juice, “I hope you all enjoy your stay here.” He sat down again and everyone took a drink. 

They were all about to start eating the food that had dished onto their plates when the skeleton stood up on his chair and cleared his throat. “Bill..” Bear warned quietly. Bill, the skeleton, cleared his throat and began. The man sitting in the chair next to him brought out a radio and an inspirational song began to play. “Ahem! I, the great Bill, have brought you all here to discuss matters of great importance! You see, it has come to my attention that we don’t have a leader. No one to follow. So, I have decided that I am going to be that leader. Bow before me peasants!” His friend coughed awkwardly. 

There was a slam, Niki’s glass, as she stood up, a murderous look in her eyes. She walked quickly around the table and grabbed Tubbo by one of the straps of his dungarees and pulled him to his feet. Tubbo yelped as he was dragged away.

Everyone sat in stunned silence as they heard Niki’s yells in the distance.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” She pushed Tubbo up against the wall. “Everything was perfect before you came here!” She smashed her fists against his chest. 

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Oh yeah? Then why were you by Bill’s house last night? Were you talking to him? Did you tell him about how amazing L’manburg was? Did you get it in his head to become like Wilbur?”

“No! No! I didn’t!” Tubbo desperately tried to get away.

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Tubbo only whined, “I wish you died!” 

He wished for that too.

“I don’t even know who he is!” 

“STOP LYING!”

There was a cough from behind them. Niki stopped and turned to face who it was. With her distracted, Tubbo ran for it. Niki yelled after him but he could barely hear. He had no idea where he was going but he needed to get out.

Chapter Text

Tubbo ran as fast as he could. He ran and ran until he couldn’t run anymore. He was lost, he always was. He was in a meadow. Thick trees surrounded him as the new moon rose high in the sky. He felt like he was suffocating in the great expanse of the quiet night. 

Tubbo dropped to the forest floor. His hooves hurt so much and his lungs felt like they were tearing apart. Tubbo screamed. He screamed in agony. Why when he thinks things are gonna be okay do they always take a turn for the worse? Will he ever recover? Is it worth it?

Tubbo looked up at the sky longingly. He just, he was missing something. But no matter where he looked he couldn’t find it. Was it even here? Or was it in the arms of someone that hates him. He felt the grass between his fingers, they hurt.

“God, you’re such a coward. Can’t do anything right.” Tubbo flinched and sat up. Squatting in front of him was Schlatt. A hallucination - Tubbo would later come to the conclusion. “What but you’re dead.”

“As long as you’re alive, kid , I’ll never leave.” The ram hybrid took a swig of his vodka and laughed. “Look, you’ve already screwed this up so much already, stop wallowing. You’re always on about how you’re not like me but here you are. Wallowing .” Tubbo laid back down. Who cares, he has messed this all up already, there’s no point in continuing.”

“Get up.” Tubbo groaned as he was pulled to his feet by Technoblade? Where had Schlatt gone? “I’m not gonna let you hurt anymore people, Tubbo.” He missed Techno. “So you’re gonna sort yourself out right here and then you’re gonna go back to that town.” He missed when they were friends. “And you’re gonna be the man you want to be.” 

“But what’s the point?” 

“The point?” Tubbo felt a clawed hand raise his chin as he was forced to look into Techno’s animalistic eyes. “The point, Tubbo, is so that you come out better than all of us. Me, Schlatt, Wilbur.” Techno snorted, “I mean, we all saw a bit of ourselves in you and everyone else saw it too.”

“And it’s time you use that.” He shivered as he heard Wilbur’s voice, before the cigarettes, in his ear - funnily enough, it was the one that was too damaged to hear out of.

“So now, yell and scream and be angry. Let it all out. Just don’t wallow.” Technoblade again.

Some people say animal hybrids are a gift. When being human isn’t enough you get blessed with traits that’ll help you survive this hellish universe. Technoblade was gifted with super-human senses. He could sniff someone out from a mile away and hear a twig snap through the thickest of walls. When Phil fell from a cliff, he was given wings so he could fly away to safety. When Fundy was stolen as a baby he was given a fox’s wits and cunning. 

When Tubbo was executed by someone he trusted, he loved. He was given devil horns and hooves. He was called a traitor. And now, he’d use that. 

All he needed now was a way back to Bear’s Town. 

A figure emerged through the trees. Sniff.

“Alright so, we’re gonna check out Hypixel first. See if anyone there has seen him. Then we try Minecraft Championships. We could go to Earth - but I think everyone cleared out from there so I don't know if that’s a good idea.” Ranboo nodded as he wrote down all of the destinations Tommy was saying.

They were going to find Tubbo.

“Hey, have you seen a kid? This tall-”

“His name is Tubbo and-”

“He has a bunch of scars and a pair of goat horns,”

“No? Okay, thank you.”

Everyone they asked had said no. Some people just ignored the pair of scruffy teens completely. It was not going well.

Tommy groaned in frustration and sat down on a bench, Ranboo promptly taking a seat next to him. 

“Why does nothing ever go well for us?” Ranboo only clutched his memory book tighter. In it, was a crudely drawn picture of Tubbo, mainly since he was afraid he’d forget what his husband looked like than showing it to strangers. 

“I mean, why. Like seriously, haven’t we been through enough?”

Tommy focused his eyes forward. Something was pinned to a tree across from them.

“COME JOIN US AT THE BEARSMP. SAFE FOR ALL.”

Chapter Text

Sniff slowly approached Tubbo who stood waiting for them. “Sniff,”

“Tubbo.”

Tubbo sat down and Sniff took that as an invitation for them to sit too.

“I’m gonna tell you a story.”

“It wasn’t bad at first. Like it was just really fun. I got to build a home and I had bees and we all helped each other, we were a real community, you know? And then Tommy and Dream took a joke too far.” Tubbo lifted up his sleeve, two circles were burned into his wrist, “This was mine and Tommy’s promise. Us against the world. Two circles, two discs.” 

“Then Wilbur joined,” Tubbo continued, “Tommy looked up to him and.. I did too. He um… led us… into battle. Under the name of L’manburg. We were family, me and Wilbur and Tommy and Fundy and… Eret. It wasn’t just me and Tommy against the world, it was now L’manburg against the world. I was so happy, I had a purpose, a goal. We were gonna win the war and live happily ever after.”

“I was 15 when I died for the first time. My legs and shoulders became all fluffy when I woke up a few days later. Turns out, Eret was a spy for the enemy. I can’t blame them, there was no way L’manburg was going to win. Tommy ended up dying twice. The first time was when we were betrayed and the second time was in a duel. He challenged Dream to a duel. If he won, L’manburg would be declared an independent nation and we’d be able to live the rest of our days in peace. If he lost, Tommy would have to give up one of his discs, the reason we had begun fighting in the first place. He lost. I still remember pulling his lifeless body out of the water and clutching him close to my chest while Wilbur told me not to cry. Tommy ended up giving up both of his discs for L’manburg’s independence.”

“It was peaceful after that.” Sniff, who had been listening intensely, began to think of something to say as they thought the story was over. “But not for long. Two others joined L’manburg during the time of peace, Niki and Jack. You know Niki, she was the first lady or something. Or was that Sally? Gods, I can’t remember.”

“Anyways, Wilbur felt like no one respected him so he planned an election. It was supposed to be rigged in his favour but um this… other guy won.” Tubbo grimaced, “Schlatt his name was Schlatt.”

“This is um, this is hard to talk about. I’m gonna leave all the really bad stuff out, okay? Anyways, Schlatt exiled Tommy and Wilbur and made me his right hand man. It was awful. He was awful. He ruined everything we had taken months to do in just a week. I became the spy for Pogtopia, Wilbur’s revolution. At some point, Schlatt caught on and I was executed - publicly. My traits had been growing in during this whole period but when I woke up next I had hooves and a long floppy ear. Wilbur couldn’t look me in the eye, I looked too much like Schlatt.”

“The revolution was a success. Or so we thought. Schlatt died of a heart attack in front of us. That was supposed to be it. I was made president of L’manburg and Tommy would be my vice. It was supposed to be the other way around but Tommy didn’t want to be president. And while we were all celebrating our victory, Wilbur blew it all up. That coward couldn’t even finish the job, he had to get his dad to do it for him. I hate him.”

Tubbo took a deep breath in before continuing, “I built back all that I could. New L’manburg, we called it. The new cabinet was me, Tommy, Fundy and Quackity - who had held a part in my execution. Tommy was bored. He didn’t like the peace - I suppose. Because as soon as someone new joined, he burnt down someone else’s house. Second time he’s burnt down a house, mind you. Mine was the first.” Tubbo smiled as he thought back to the memory like it was something he was fond of.

“But Dream didn’t really appreciate Tommy burning down his best friend’s house. He wanted me to exile him. He said if I didn’t he’d kill everyone I’ve ever loved.” Tubbo turned to look at Sniff directly.

“Now, look at it from my point of view. You’re 16 years old, you’ve just been elected as president by your dead friend and now some crazy 21 year old with a god complex has given you an ultimatum. You either exile your best friend or you sign everyone’s death certificates. I don’t know about you, but in the grand scheme of things, exiling your best friend is definitely the lesser of two evils. My colleagues, and Tommy, didn’t agree with that. I was labelled a monster and evil and ‘just like schlatt’. It hurt.”

“Dream had begun to praise me, he’d tell me I was doing a good job. It felt like he cared. But no. He didn’t. I was just his puppet president for his puppet show. I was just there to make him laugh as he moved my lims and broke my strings. That’s where I got those, helps me walk better,” Tubbo pointed to the sores around his ankles.

“I don’t really remember how we ended up in a blown up community house, or much of what happened inside. Ranboo said it’s because of un-processed trauma - or whatever. All I remember was a lot of yelling and Tommy saying that I was worthless - which is true.” Sniff made a noise of complaint. 

“Anyways after that I settled down away from everyone in a mansion with my husband and my kid and everything was fine. Or so I thought! You see, Dream still had the discs and Tommy wanted them back. It was supposed to be one more fight. One more and then we’d be free forever. I nearly died that day - multiple times. And this time it would’ve been permanent. Our friends came to save us but uhh they actually came to save Tommy. I was an afterthought. I remember them all rushing over to Tommy and asking him how he was and if he was okay. The only one who cared was Ranboo. He’d given me his chestplate and held me all through the night as I just shook.” 

“We were peaceful again. Ranboo wouldn’t let me out of his sight. He’d follow me everywhere and do things with me. I felt so loved. Then he started hanging out with Wilbur. Oh yeah, he got revived by Dream because Dream got this book from Schlatt that brings people back to life. But yeah, Ranboo started to spend more time with Wilbur and I guess I got jealous? Because then I decided to work with Quackity instead. And now both Ranboo and Tommy hate me.” His eyes focused on the ground in front of him. “So yeah, that’s my story.” He looked back over to his side and-

Sniff was gone.

Had they even been there in the first place?

Chapter Text

Tubbo sighed and looked back to the stars up ahead. With a groan, he stood up. His feet still hurt and his scars burnt with guilt but he wouldn’t wallow. He swivelled around awkwardly before picking a random direction and praying that this was the way back to town.

“At least I got it all out,” Tubbo mumbled to himself, slightly dazed from lack of sleep. Even though he was in his head, he still kept his eye out for threats. Any rogue creeper or zombie. Or two skeleton horses thundering towards him. 

Tubbo shrieked and jumped out of the way. He did not feel like being trampled today. “Woah!” A British voice shouted from atop the taller of the horses. Tubbo fell to the side on his butt as the two horses stopped just short of him. In the dark light, Tubbo could tell that the people on the horses were the ones from dinner, the ones who had declared Bill as the leader.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Tubbo sounded angry, he didn’t mean to, he was just shocked and confused. The guy with the mask looked at the skeleton who looked down.

“Um, we were kicked out. What’s it matter to you, huh?” Bill said defensively as he clutched the reins with clenched fists. 

“Oh, that sucks,” Tubbo stood up.

“We don’t need your pity! We’re gonna make our own town far away.” Tubbo’s eyes widened, memories flashed through his head. 

“Now’s your chance,” came Wilbur’s rotten voice through his ears.

“Need help?” Tubbo kept a relaxed demeanour. Bill looked at him skeptically. “I’ve done this before, led a whole country and was the secretary for two. I’d be a good addition to your duo.” The pair looked at each other before the masked one spoke up, “Why do you want to help us?”

Tubbo sighed, “Because I know what it’s like when the people you care about dump you, outcast you, exile you. I know what it’s like.”

“Fine, hop on.” Bill shifted his horse to expose its back to Tubbo. Tubbo grinned and jumped on. 

“BearSMP here we come,” Ranboo let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he entered the portal, Tommy next to him. Neither had no idea what they’d see on the other side of this portal.

Chapter Text

The pair stepped out into a bright sunny day that made them feel like intruders. They were on a small island, a sign in front of them said, “Welcome to the Bear SMP!” 

“We’re here.” Even Tommy was nervous as neither knew what to expect when they reached the top of that hill.

Tommy grabbed Ranboo’s hand, although he’d deny it later. He just needed the feeling of not being alone. The pair walked in silence as they crossed the river via the stepping stones and climbed the hill. Tommy’s eyes widened and Ranboo let out a gurgle of surprise. The town was so peaceful looking, so calm. A few people were walking along the well travelled roads.

“No.” Tommy’s grip on Ranboo’s hand tightened. “No, please,” He sounded so desperate.

“What? What’s wrong?” Tommy tore away from his friend and down the road. Ranboo followed his friend with his eyes, hoping to find what had got Tommy so distraught. “No way.”

There by a treehouse stood a ghost. And not just any ghost, a ghost which looked exactly like Tubbo from the L’manburg days. Ranboo started running too. 

“Tubbo, oh my god I’m so sorry!” Tommy cried as soon as he got within earshot of the ghost. “Please-” he reached out to grab the grayscale version of his best friend but-

“SIX FING FEET!” The ghost yelled out before bonking Tommy on the head with a dull golden sword.

“Ow! What the hell? I’m sorry but jeez..”

“First of all, who is this Tubbo person and SIX FING FEET!” Ranboo, who had just caught up to Tommy had taken a step to his beloved only to also get bonked on the head. Ranboo stumbled back into Tommy and cradled his head.

“Right, right, sorry Ghostbo? Tubboo? Toast?”

“My name is not of your concern, stranger!” The ghost pouted and crossed his arms. Ranboo’s hands quickly jumped to cover his mouth as tears began burning trails down his face, Tommy’s eyes also widened in horror. “Oh my god. He’s forgotten us.” 

“Were we that bad?” Ranboo began to spiral.

“He left just two days ago! How? Why?” The ghost had wandered off by now, bored and annoyed by these new people - one also looked like an alien or at least something not natural that he’d have to deal with later. 

Ranboo began to panic, which caused Tommy to panic too. That’s how Aimsey found them. Two teens in the middle of a panic attack. What a first meeting..

Chapter Text

“This looks like a nice place to set up a gaff.” Bill jumped off the horse. Nep nodded and hopped off his own horse. Tubbo followed too. They were standing just outside of a small village. Hidden amongst tall spruce trees. Bill and Neptune left Tubbo with the horses as they went around exploring. He’d sometimes hear one of them exclaim something as they excitedly ran about.

This was very different to what Pogtopia exile was like but he still saw the pain both boys masked well. Tubbo yawned and looked into the empty eye sockets of the horses. He was so tired. 

He saw himself in his new friends as they explored this new town with new locals that spoke a different language neither could truly understand. It reminded him of the traveling he used to do with Tommy before everything happened. 

Or the time they were sent on a quest to look for treasure left by gods. Everyone got together and put their differences aside for a whole week. And when Tubbo won, they all cheered and congratulated him and he shared all of the valuable loot with them. Everyone was so happy.

“Yeah, we’ll live here from now on. Tubbo?” Bill exclaimed.

“Yeah, bossman?” 

“Put the horses in that pen, this is gonna be our new home.”

“We need to name it.” Nep suggested as they all sat around a campfire roasting pumpkins.

“No,” Tubbo blurted out quickly and firmly, “Don’t name it, giving it a name will doom it to fail.”

“Alright Mr. Serious - no names.”

They had all settled in as a week went by. Life was easy, peaceful. Bill and Neptune shared a house in the centre of town while Tubbo chose to instead live in a small cabin on the outskirts. As nice as everyone here was, he liked his privacy more. He built his house out of bricks and tried to stay away from blocks that reminded him of the home he’d never be able to return to. 

He was chilling by the campfire just outside of Bill and Neptune’s house when he heard some rustling far away. Thinking it was just a stray cat or other animal he tuned back into his friend’s conversation. They were inside the gaff rearranging furniture as Nep found it hard to sleep next to Bill with all the rattling. The footsteps were too loud to be a cat’s, Tubbo’s ear flicked as he turned his head to hear better. There were only two feet so probably a zombie.

“Hello?” Tubbo jumped at the sound of the voice. Bill and Nep stopped what they were doing and came outside. All three looked around for the source of the voice. “Ello?” Bill called back. Tubbo’s hand drifted to the blade that always rested on his hip. A few seconds later, a girl in fancy clothes and a red mask appeared through the trees. “Oh!” She exclaimed, a bit surprised, “Um, is this the place?”

“The place?” Bill crossed his arms.

“Yeah! Um the place!”

Bill looked her up and down for a few seconds, seemingly evaluating her worth. “Yes! Of course! This is the place. Welcome!” The girl seemed to untense and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh thank goodness, I thought I was lost.”

“No you’re in the right place. Let me show you around!” Tubbo relaxed back down and moved his hand away from the hilt of his sword. His eyes drifted to the fire and he zoned out again.

“..Sniff?” Tubbo’s ear flicked at the mention of his friend’s name.

“Yeah! We know Sniff! Don’t we, Tubbo?” Apparently in the time that Tubbo had zoned out, the group had all moved around the fire and the sun had set. Tubbo made eye contact with the girl which made her flinch. “Yes.” 

“Well, um, where are they? I promised to meet up with them.” Bill quickly looked at Neptune for help.

“We sent her on a business trip,” Nep lied easily.

“Right! A business trip! They’ll be back in a few days!” 

Tubbo almost felt bad for lying to Fruit but at the end of the day his main goal was to make sure Bill and Nep didn’t end up like him, a ball of trauma and nerves and slightly radioactive. If lying made their exile easier, sobeit.