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Gordon had been through a lot, shot at, battered, submerged in toxic waste and sewage, had his hand cut off- it was only a matter of time before his luck ran out, before his body couldn’t take any more.
He’d been steadily bleeding from his stump for a few hours, no one had thought to make any sort of tourniquet, or anything to stop the bleeding, and all the med stations he had passed had been long bled dry.
Blood loss was no joke.
The signs had been there for awhile, he had been struggling to stand, dizzy, faint, leaning on Tommy for support-
Tommy had been practically dragging him along for the past hour.
When he collapsed for the last time, it was to little fanfare.
“G-Gordon! Are you ok?” Tommy seemed startled as he dropped to the floor, crouching down to pat at his face.
“Is that idiot slowing us down again?” Bubby tapped his shoe impatiently from the front, arms crossed and scowling.
“Fuckin’ baby, uh, needs a nap?”
Benrey leaned against the wall, eyes flat as stared down at Gordon’s limp body.
“I- I think-
Tommy gulped, fingers pressed to Gordon’s neck, skin cool and clammy.
“I- I think he’s dead.”
“What?!”
Bubby snapped, stomping over.
“He can’t be dead, what is he, a pussy? Wake up!”
He kicked the head of the corpse lightly, nudging it incessantly with his foot.
“That’s- that’s not going to wake him Dr Bubby!”
“Alas, poor Gordon, we’ll miss him but we must move on!” Coomer punched Bubby, who glared, and stopped kicking, backing away from the body.
“Oh lame, he died? What is he, a fuckin loser?”
Benrey laughed, crouching down next to Tommy to poke at the body.
“So uh, when will he respawn? Gonna be boring without him.”
“He- he won’t.”
“Huh? Whaddya mean?”
Benrey tilted his head, starting at Tommy with utter confusion:
“He- he’s not like y-you, or us. He- he dead, which means, he’s not coming back.”
“But- that can’t be- huh? Whaddya mean? He’s- he’s gotta-“
Benrey trailed off, staring down at Gordon.
“Uh- buh- what- what if I-“
He sang out teal coloured sweet voice, which swirled and wrapped around his prone body.
“Thats- that’s not gonna work Benrey.”
Tommy gently patted his shoulder, and stood up.
“We- we need to go. Gordon would have- would have wanted us to escape.”
“We- we can’t leave him, what if he- uh, what if he wakes up and steals shit?”
“He’s never gonna- gonna wake up again Benrey.”
“That’s- that’s not true. Look, just gotta-“
Benrey picked the body up, hanging him over his shoulders in a mock piggy back ride.
“See? Can bring him with us, so- so he’ll be with us when he wakes up.”
“Benrey…”
Tommy sighed, eyes crinkled up in sadness as he stared down at Benrey.
“Now now Tommy, we all cope with the horrors of death in different ways! Let’s keep going, it’s only seventeen more hours until we reach the Lambda lab!”
“C’mon Feetman, fuckin, sleepy lil loser.”
Benrey mumbled to himself.
The body did not respond.
——-
Benrey continued to carry the corpse throughout the rest of Black Mesa, talking to it, trying to rile “Gordon” up, as if he might respond if only he annoyed him enough.
Gordon couldn’t be gone , not- not forever.
That didn’t make sense.
Where did he go?
“Benrey.”
Tommy had stopped him, a pained look on his face.
“Y-you need to stop, he’s- he’s dead a-and I know you’re upset but, you have to let him go.”
Benrey stared flatly.
“I’m not leaving him.”
“Benrey-“
“ No .”
And that was that. Trying to reason with Benrey was pointless, and the entire atmosphere around the science team had gone stale, and cold. There was no more joking or goofing around. They continued their journey silently, dispatching enemies with ruthless accuracy.
Perhaps if they had been this efficient from the start, or at least after the arm incident, perhaps Gordon would still be alive right now.
Each Medkit they passed served a grim reminder to what had been lost.
Gorodn might have been loud, and bossy, and a total control freak but… it didn’t feel the same without him.
Sure, his body was technically present, carried as it was by Benrey, but his soul, his heart, all the things that made up him were gone.
Even Coomer, jolly as he was, had gone so serious.
Only Benrey continued to speak, denying the dead’s man right to rest in peace.
——
Eventually, they stumbled into Darnolds lab, the man offering to treat their “wounded”, before freezing in place as he realised what it was that Benrey was actually carrying.
“That- holy shit that’s a dead body!”
It took some time for Tommy to calm him down, frantic as he was at being suddenly confronted by mortality. Explaining as much as he could, he eventually manged to calm the alchemist down.
“W-why are you carrying that around?!”
Tommy shook his head, and lowered his voice.
“He’s- Benrey’s in denial.”
“Oh- oh my. My condolences. Were they… close?”
Tommy acrewed up his face.
“It’s… complicated.”
“Ah. Then I won’t ask.”
The pair glanced over at Benrey, who had placed the body in the chair by Darnolds computer, and was currently trying to teach a corpse how to main Pyro.
Darnold grimaced.
“…I don’t think I’ll be able to sit in that chair ever again.”
“S-sorry. I’ll um. I’ll buy you a new one when we get- W-when we escape.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
They remained in silence awhile, before a look of intense thought came over Darnolds face.
“I… I might have a solution of sorts.”
“Pardon?”
“It’s… experimental, but… if there’s a chance it could work then,,,”
“What are you talking about?”
Darnold snapped to attention, rummaging though his potions cabinet,
“Now- we’ve only tested it on mice before, I have no idea if it’ll work on a human, and, well, to be frank-“
“Hello Frank!” Coomer interrupted from the corner, where he was currently engaged in a wrestling match with Bubby.
“… Uh, as I was saying, to be honest, there’s no guarantee he’ll come back the same, a bit hard to test personality in mice and all, but, it’s worth a try. I can’t stand not trying to help when there’s the option to. You lot seem like fine folk, and, well, not to be rude, but I’d rather not stick around a dead body any longer than necessary, “
Benrey’s gaze was firmly fixed on Darnold now, eyes narrowed.
“You can uh, get him to wake up?
“I- uh. In… a manner of speaking, yes?”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Benrey had somehow managed to cross the room in the moment it took for Darnold to turn, almost dropping the vial he picked up.
“This it?”
Benrey had snatched the vial out of his hands, bringing it up to his face to look at it curiously.
“C- careful! We don’t know what effect it has on living subjects!”
He snatched it back, shaking his head.
“Leave this to a professional, ok?”
Benrey simply shrugged, eyes watching him lime a hawk.
He wasn’t a fan of the intense scrutiny, but he could manage.
“Could you uh, lay the bod- , ahem, I mean, lay Dr Freeman down on his back please?”
The group did as asked, Benrey kneeling down beside him to watch every move Darnold made.
“Oh boy…”
He sighed, hoping that this would work, as he pulled out the glass stopper, black smoke curling up from the bottle.
“Benrey- could you uh, open his mouth a little for me?”
It was probably the first time Benrey had ever done something someone had asked of him.
Expression unreadable as he gently pried open his jaw.
“Ok, a few drops of this stuff should be enough. It’s pretty potent. Could someone hand me a pipette or something ?”
Silently, the necessary tools were passed over, the atmosphere growing tense as Darnold sucked the viscous black fluid up into the dropper.
Finally, it was the moment of truth, as one, two, thee, four droplets were squeezed out, falling into Gordon’s open mouth.
“Well. Now all we can do is wait.”
“H- how long do you think it’ll take?”
“Uh… well.”
Darnold rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Well, In the trials… it took anywhere from thirty minutes, to uh, a full day?”
The outpouring of complaints was immediate, and Darnold could only hope this attempt would be worth all the hassle.
After Gordon did not proceed to spring back to life in the next ten minutes, Bubby declared himself “sick of this shit” and proceeded to go set various flammable items on fire. Coomer lost interest next, then Tommy, and finally, Darnold.
In the end, it was decided they were all long overdue for a good nap anyway, curling up in the corner of the room farthest away from the body, all save for Benrey, who stayed by Gordon’s side, even as the minutes turned to hours.
As the snores of the others filled the darkened room, he began to speak quietly.
“I’m… sorry. I just wanted to mess around w’ you. I didn’t think you could like… die. I thought… I thought you’d be able to come back. Like me.”
He sighed.
“It’s all my fault. Didn’t think they’d fuck you up that bad. I just wanted to stop you. If you reached Xen I’d hafta…”
He clenched his fists.
“Doesn’t matter now. You’re gone. Stupid potion probably ain’t even gonna work.”
A small sob escaped him as he buried his face in his knees, curling in on himself. He couldn’t take the waiting any longer. There was no point to any of this.
He began to stand, resolving to join the rest in their slumber, but, as he turned to glance at Gordon one last time…
In the dimness of the room, for just a mere moment, he thought he saw his fingers begin to twitch.