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Alluring serenades flooded the air. Pastels and the bright colours danced throughout the room. And Chris smiled as warmth bubbled and rolled in his belly. Today was the most enchanting day of the year. At least, in his opinion. Yes, Christmas had its beautiful twinkling lights, hot chocolate, and fluffy white 'icing'. Easter too was graced with the soft hues of pink, purple, and white, along with a host of many more colours as life bloomed, rested, and renewed. Halloween shared the benefit of masks and mystery and sweet candy treats, and there were entire holidays dedicated to being grateful for the wonderful things gifted to one throughout life.
However, Valentine's would always be particularly special to Chris. And not because it was also his birthday. Of course, that had its own benefits, but as Chris scanned the room—his Swiss loft filled with friends and family socializing and enjoying the united atmosphere under the banner of love and acceptance—it was that part of Valentine's Day that filled his heart with joy. The well-wishes and gifts were nice, but the company and happiness of those he cared about was sweeter than any box of chocolates.
Though of course, Chris was still Chris, which was why this year's party theme was 'lingerie'. It was tasteful and classy; no actual nudity was allowed to ensure everyone's comfort, so it was more like a Halloween party, just with a lot of lace and silk and sheer fabrics. But no one was surprised when the invitations arrived in their inbox. Chris didn't exactly hide his love for the human figure.
He greeted every guest at the door, wrapped in a black lace robe and shamelessly sporting a thong. He welcomed them with a beaming smile and took the time to praise everyone's attire, especially if the guests were generally of a shyer disposition. Fuelling people's confidence was fun, and Chris adored the way their eyes sparkled, even if they otherwise seemed ready to hide under a blanket to escape the compliment.
Throughout the evening festivities, he wandered and mingled, speaking with each and every guest.
“How are the kids?”
“I saw photos of your new puppy on Instagram.”
“That haircut is stunning.”
“Congratulations on your engagement!”
Personalized conversation. Paying attention to the people in his life was a point of pride for Chris. He understood the games they played on social media and how utterly unsocial such platforms could be. The number of people who screamed into the digital void, not to appease their ego but to not feel so alone in the world that had gotten so much bigger than the planet itself. And the idea of being a part of that echo chamber made his stomach curl.
No one should feel alone in a room—in a life —full of so many people.
But the clock ticked forward, minute by minute, and eventually the party came to a close. Chris did his hosting duties of seeing his guests out, adding as much affection as each person was comfortable with; a handshake, a hug, a kiss on the cheek. He smiled the whole time, his own cheeks burning from the near-permanent stretch, but each of his guests deserved to take a little piece of his joy home with them.
And yet, he didn't miss the lone bystander, waiting off to the side instead of following the train of people leaving.
Soft music continued drifting through the air, but it fell into the background as Chris's gaze turned to the remaining guest. “Phichit?”
“Hey.”
This wasn't their first time speaking throughout the evening. Phichit had been greeted like everyone else, and Chris's little 'visit' with him during his rounds had been pleasant, but their conversation merely skimmed the surface. They engaged in harmless gossip, and Chris asked about Marshmallow, Biscuit, and Cupcake—Phichit's beloved hamsters. Only to then have to politely excuse himself to touch base with the rest of the guests.
Chris's smile remained, but he tilted his head. “Is everything alright, darling?”
“Mhmm.” Phichit smiled in return and moved a little closer. His eyes darted to the still open door for a moment, although he didn't give any indication that he planned to step through it. “I just … wanted to see how you're doing.”
“Oh, I'm fine.”
“Are you?”
Chris blinked. That was … a strange question. He'd been filled with a comforting warmth and the tingles of joy all night and couldn't recall once giving evidence to the contrary. “Why wouldn't I be?”
“Well ...” Phichit glanced around the empty loft. “It's your birthday.”
“Yes, it is.”
Curiosity bubbled to the surface. Phichit was naturally a very social, outgoing person, so it was unusual for him to be so hesitant and uncertain, especially when he'd seemed perfectly fine earlier. Had he not enjoyed the party? Or perhaps it was because he was the only one of their fellow skaters to fly to Switzerland for the celebration, the others tied up with their own Valentine's plans. Maybe Phichit worried that Chris missed the company of his long-time friend. Well, a part of him did, of course. But Chris tended to avoid dwelling on the negative, especially when Viktor was absent in favour of spending time with his lovely fiancé.
Chris learned the hard way how difficult it was to measure up against Yuri 'Eros' Katsuki, but it was a 'failure' he welcomed wholeheartedly. Viktor's happiness was worth it.
“What's on your mind, darling?”
For a moment, Phichit was quiet, and although he didn't fidget, he did look around again as though he were searching for something. “It's your birthday, but you're spending the night alone?”
Chris chuckled. “Don't be silly. I had company all evening. And I have Sebastian.” The feline in question was nowhere in sight, but he was probably sleeping in the bedroom, occupying his favourite spot: Chris's pillow.
“Yeah, but … the party’s over.”
“And? What is it you're really asking about, Phichit?”
“Where’s Masumi?”
Ah, now it made sense. The other guests had gone about their evening, none the wiser to the man's absence, too caught up in the food and drink and silly games provided, but of course Phichit would take notice. He was a master observationalist with a metaphorical Ph.D. in people-watching.
Chris closed the door and shrugged. “Elsewhere.”
“But it's your birthday.”
“So I've been made aware,” Chris teased.
“And Valentine's Day.”
“Indeed it is.”
“So, shouldn't your boyfriend be celebrating with you?”
And there it was; the heart of the matter had finally been carved out and laid between them, still pulsing, despite being raw and exposed. Chris drew in a breath and slowly nodded. “Perhaps. If I still had a boyfriend.”
Phichit stared. Chris stared back, awaiting the inevitable questions. But none came. Instead, Phichit frowned. “I … didn't know.” There was no hint of pity in his voice, only an undertone of confusion. Something had changed in his friend's life, something big, and for once, Phichit hadn't been aware of it.
Chris's gut tightened as a bubble of guilt rose to the surface. “No one did. You're the first to find out.”
“But … when did this happen?”
“A few weeks ago.”
“And I'm only finding out now ?!”
Someone else might have been offended by Phichit's lack of empathy, but Chris laughed, the joyful rumble leaping out of his throat without hesitation. “You're right, I should have told you ages ago.” When Phichit's pout merely deepened, Chris turned and glided into the kitchen, his amusement continuing. “Tea?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder as he opened a cupboard.
“Oh, um … sure.” Phichit followed, stepping up to the island in the middle of the kitchen and leaning against it. His gaze burned into Chris's back as he quietly prepared the water and tea leaves. The rolling boil, the splash as he filled the mugs, the gentle tink of a spoon against the ceramic; the soundtrack to Phichit's curiosity, the music from the other room barely leaking in. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“... then why did you break up?”
Chris turned and handed Phichit a steaming mug. “We technically haven't. Not yet. We're on a break right now.”
“But why?”
“Because I was honest with him.” Phichit blinked, and Chris shrugged, his hands curled around his own cup. “When we first started dating, I wasn't entirely sure, but I knew what he wanted in a relationship, so I figured I'd try. For him. Masumi is a wonderful man, and I wanted to make him happy. But as it turns out, monogamy just … doesn't work for me.”
“Did you ...”
“Cheat? No. Good to know you think so highly of me, though.” Chris smirked before taking a sip of his honey-sweetened tea, unable to resist winking over the rim of the mug.
“What? No! No, no! I didn't—”
“Relax, Phichit.” Chris chuckled. “I know.” But his mirth faded as he lowered the cup, and his gaze shifted off to the side, staring at nothing in particular. “But I came to realize over the last year that I don't function well with my love limited. I do love him, of course I do. But … he's not the only person I love, and I'm not comfortable with shackling how I feel toward others to the platonic mold. To me, those emotions are like flowers, and I want to give them room to breathe and grow and bloom as nature intended.”
His eyes lifted, falling on Phichit once more, who nodded softly, his own warm drink seemingly forgotten despite it being cradled in his palms. “You … fell for someone else, too?”
“Yes.” Chris offered a small smile. “I suspected this about myself, but I wasn't entirely sure until it happened. And once it did, I needed to be honest with him. Because he deserves to be treated right.”
“But he doesn't like it.” It wasn't a question.
“Hm, not exactly. He was surprised and hurt initially. But we talked, and although he understands, he needed time to reconcile it.”
“So you let him go.”
“So I let him go.”
Phichit frowned again and turned to set his mug on the island. “And what if … he's never okay with it?”
Chris held his gaze for a moment, the silence hovering between them kissed by the melodies softly trickling into the kitchen. “Then I'll need to respect that and let him go for good.”
“But you love him.”
“Yes, but … I will love others. I already do. And Masumi deserves someone who will love him the way he needs. I can't expect that of him for myself and not allow the same in return.”
Phichit tilted his head, a small, almost melancholy smile tugging at his lips. “You're … kind of amazing, Chris.” The birthday boy's eyebrows lifted and he shook his head, a huff of a laugh forcing its way out of his throat, but otherwise he remained quiet, sipping his tea. Despite his public persona, he didn't generally put himself above others.
Actually, he often enjoyed putting himself below others.
“Who's the other man?”
Chris blinked. “Pardon?” His mind had started to wander, flirting with thoughts and daydreams that weren't entirely appropriate to be dancing around while in the company of a friend.
“The other guy you fell for. Do I know him?”
“I would certainly hope so.”
“So, he's a skater.”
“Yes.” His lips twitched.
Phichit grinned. “Why am I not surprised? Just please tell me it's not JJ.”
Chris snorted. “No.”
“Oh, good!” More silence, punctuated by soft sips of their drinks. Then, “So … are you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Who the guy is.”
“Maybe.” Chris smirked through the steam still drifting out of his mug.
Phichit sighed. “Does he at least know how you feel?”
“I don't know, Phichit. You tell me.”
For a moment, his friend just stared, confusion written all over his face. His brows furrowed and he bit his lip, as though he were staring at a scattered puzzle. But the moment the realization sunk in, Phichit's eyes widened, his lips parted, and a dusting of pink graced his cheeks. “Oh.”
Chris beamed. “Oh, indeed.” He allowed Phichit another moment of silence to catch his breath before adding, “How does that make you feel?”
Instead of answering immediately, Phichit's gaze lowered, and Chris could imagine the wheels in his friend's head turning. But he was a patient man, so he waited, giving Phichit as much time as he needed. To the Thailand skater, this information was coming out of nowhere, and even Chris himself would be thrown off by someone proclaiming their love for him seemingly out of the blue. But Chris had been living with this secret buried deep within for months, ever since their impromptu visit to Disneyland Paris together when they ended up in France at the same time.
The memories of their carefree laughter and silly shenanigans still made his stomach flutter and his heart skip.
But then Phichit's eyes met his again, and Chris was left nearly breathless. The beaming smile that took over Phichit's face and the way his gaze sparkled was the best gift of the night. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
Chris smiled in return, a rare tingle of heat along his cheeks as he gestured toward the door leading to the living room. “Of course. I still have to hear all about the day Cupcake got loose and chewed through your TV cords.”
Phichit practically bounced from the kitchen, spilling a little of his tea in the process, but neither of them cared. They returned to the living room and settled on the couch, Phichit’s stocking covered legs tossed over Chris’s lap while they just … talked. As friends, as two people discovering new ground between them, together. There was no rush. They had all night. There was time for speech to meld into kisses, for Phichit’s corset to decorate the floor along with Chris’s robe. But right now, all Chris wanted was to listen to every word that fell from Phichit’s lips, for the sweet notes to tease his senses, casting his mind into a world splashed with pastel and bright colours.
Because tonight was Valentine's Day, the most enchanting day of the year. At least, in their opinion.
Companion art by Venom, drawn in early-to-mid 2020.
