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Even the winter of my shadowed heart is colored into five different colored paints
The first time Atsushi meets Akutagawa was when the Vision Hunt Decree was three months into action.
Atsushi had roamed from place to place, trying not to get caught by the almighty Shogun's loyal followers. He had many instances where he had thought that it would be the end of him yet he somehow always escaped. He had always laughed about how the electro vision that once saved his life is now the reason why his life is in danger.
Ironic at how Gods who had given him the vision, now wants the vision from him.
Atsushi doesn't know whether or not he should hate the Gods. After all, it is their grant of his vision that saved his life. It is what made him to what he is right now.
Apparantly, what he is, is also a parasite. According to Akutagawa, they shouldn't be in the same place.
"Both of us are vision holders, it would let them have the advantage if they find both of us here."
Atsushi agreed. The cryo vision holder had a point but Atsushi retaliated, "We can always fight back." It seems that Akutagawa was a pessimist, "What if we lose?"
Atsushi rolled his eyes, "Have a little positivity, will you?"
Akutagawa chuckled, "I bear no advantages with false hope," The electro vision haver shrugged, "That false hope may save you, one day."
After the small exchange they both stayed silent until Atsushi left to gather food and when he came back, Akutagawa was nowhere to be seen.
-
"You again?" Akutagawa scoffed as he sat down beside the silver haired vision holder
Atsushi smiled, "Don't complain too much. You're stuck with me as long as this goddamn decree goes on."
Akutagawa didn't complain. In fact, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he liked Atsushi's company. Unlike some other vision holders, Atsushi was quite- respectful. The silver haired boy didn't pry much into Akutagawa's personal life.
It was something no one would want to hear anyways.
"What do you think the Shogun's intensions with the vision hunt decree is?" Atsushi broke the silence and Akutagawa sighed, "I have no opinions on it, either way, nothing can justify killing your own people. Not even of the ambition to eternity."
Atsushi smiled, "How long have you had your vision?"
The cryo user chuckled, "You first," Atsushi replied, "Six years, I got it when I was twelve."
"That's young," Akutagawa thought as he nodded, "Six years as well, I receieved it when I was fourteen."
Atsushi hummed, "Your older than me then, should I call you big brother?"
Akutagawa glared at him, "Just try and I will throw you on the river and freeze you," Atsushi laughed, "I seem to have gotten involved with a violent person,"
Atsushi hummed, "It was a nice talk, I'll get going then." He stood up, "Don't die-" He blinked before asking, "I never got your name. What is your name?"
"Why should I tell you?" Akutagawa chuckled and Atsushi laughed, "Want me to call you big bro-"
"Ryuunosuke. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, that's my name." Akutagawa cut Atsushi off who smiled and nodded, "Nice to meet you, Ryuunosuke. I'm Atsushi, Nakajima Atsushi."
-
"Have you ever traveled to Monstadt?" Atsushi asked and Akutagawa shook his head, "No, I never have dreamed of doing so."
"Really?"
Akutagawa looked at him, "What makes it so special that you're talking about it?"
Atsushi sighed, "Its the city of freedom," Akutagawa was confused for a moment, "City of free-? Oh."
Right, the vision hunt decree. The vision hunt decree had taken away the freedom of vision bearers. With Atsushi being a vision bearer himself, the desire to travel in a nation in which freedom is valued is not surprising.
"Our nation strives for eternity, yet it seems like our God is the only one striving forward towards that goal," Atsushi continued
"Have you ever met the Raiden Shogun?" Akutagawa asked
Atsushi shook his head, "No, have you?" The black haired boy nodded, "When me and my sister were fleeing from the decree we accidentally stumbled upon the city."
"Coincidentally on that day, we witnessed a person getting their vision taken and soon after they lost their memories of their ambition," Akutagawa explained as Atsushi stared blankly, "They forget their ambitions?"
"Yes,"
Atsushi sighed then looked at Akutagawa, "You mentioned a sister,"
Akutagawa smiled, "Her name was Gin, she was my little sister. She was my only family and my companion when the vision hunt decree first started. Our parents died early in our lives so it was just the two of us."
"Was?" Atsushi asked
The cryo vision bearer sighed, "When she was granted her vision, it was during the vision hunt decree. I don't think she felt like fighting against it so she committed suicide."
Atsushi fell silent after that, mumbling a small, "I'm sorry,"
Akutagawa chuckled, "Why?"
"You probably don't want to talk about it, right? Especially to a stranger like me." Atsushi said in a small voice and the elder laughed, "After hearing all that, are you sure that we're still strangers?"
"We're family now, Atsushi-kun. Don't call us strangers now, ok?"
Atsushi's voice hitched and after that he nodded, "No, I guess not."
-
"Is that your sister's vision?" Atsushi asked as Akutagawa was examining a small vision shell that was empty
Akutagawa nodded, "She had an electro vision like you," He clenched his fist against the shell, ignoring the sharp sting, "Who would've thought the first time she used it would also be the last time she would."
"The first time she used it was to protect me," Akutagawa explained as Atsushi smiled, "She must've loved you very much,"
"She did, I loved her very much too."
-
Atsushi puts his vision behind his back, Akutagawa notes.
-
"What do you think of this world?" Akutagawa asked and Atsushi shrugged, "I don't know whether or not I should hate it."
Atsushi wanted to say, "Because even if its hurt me time and time again, it still let me meet you,"
"I hate it."
Atsushi's eyes widened as Akutagawa continued, "I hate it so much I want to run away from it. It chokes me to the point I want to stop breathing because of it."
Atsushi stayed silent, "Its her 19th birthday today," His eyes widened
Akutagawa chuckled as he saw Atsushi's reaction and soon took the latter's hand to take them somewhere and Atsushi gasped, "Hey, where are we going??"
"Just follow me." Akutagawa answered as Atsushi sighed
Soon they arrived at a cottage with a lone tree that had a sword and bow sitting there. Atsushi examined it, "Is that-?" Akutagawa nodded, "Yes."
Atsushi blinked and sighed before walking somewhere and coming back with a pair of denrobiums. Akutagawa smiled at the small gesture. Gin would love these flowers.
-
"Do you know cecilias?" Akutagawa asked and Atsushi nodded, "Flowers only found in Mondstadt, right? Why do you ask?" The cryo vision bearer laughed as he took out a small bag and gave it to Atsushi
Atsushi titled his head in confusion as he took the bag and opened it to find a bundle of Cecilias inside. Atsushi gasped and smiled, "How did you get these?"
"I was wondering around to find supplies when I saw a florist from Mondstadt selling them. I figured you would like them," Akutagawa mumbled, cheeks turning red as Atsushi giggled, "How convinient. You think of me during your journey, am I that likable, Ryuunosuke?"
Ignoring the mention of his first name, Akutagawa rolled his eyes, "Well if you don't want them I'll be happy to take them back-" The black haired boy went to snatch the bag from Atsushi but the latter stepped aside, avoiding the hand, "What I mean to say is," Atsushi smiled sincerely at Akutagawa, "Thank you,"
Shit. Akutagawa was blushing.
-
It was silent. A little too silent. No sign of Atsushi. Akutagawa would be a liar if he said he wasn't worried. Shit, what if the shogun's army was here? Akutagawa needed to stay quiet, he might get caught. But that small voice in his head was wondering, where the fuck was Atsushi?
He silently walked towards the abandoned house he and Atsushi would stay at only to see a silver haired boy, bandaging his hand? Was that Atsushi? The electro vision bearer always used gloves yet, Akutagawa never expected there to be a bandage underneath it.
Hesitant, Akutagawa called out quietly, "Atsushi?"
Atsushi flinched and grabbed his sword pointing it at Akutagawa before realizing who it was, "Oh, Ryuunosuke."
His shoulders relaxed as he set down his sword, "I was just-" He looked at his hand, "Bandaging myself up, I'll finish in a bit." Akutagawa mumbled, "Did you get hurt?"
Atsushi froze before he shook his head, "It's an old injury, don't worry." Akutagawa nodded before sitting down beside him.
He didn't mention the fact that he saw a scar across the palm of Atsushi's hand.
-
Akutagawa puts his vision on the back of his hand, Atsushi notes
-
"Here," Akutagawa flinched as Atsushi sat beside him holding a small basket and set it down. Akutagawa opened it to see a few pieces of sakura mochi, "Wha-"
Atsushi chuckled, "An apology." Akutagawa hummed, "For what?" The electro vision bearer sighed, "For making things awkward back there." Atsushi slowly took off his glove revealing the bandage, "For when you saw me bandaging up." Akutagawa's eyes widened as Atsushi started to take off the bandage, "I should've explained it."
Akutagawa shook his head, "Nakajima, you don't owe me an explanation."
Atsushi laughed as lo' and behold, the very scar that Akutagawa stayed silent about showed up. "I got it when I first had my vision." Akutagawa asked, "Are you ok with me knowing this?"
The latter nodded and continued, "I was an orphan. The home I had didn't have the nicest adults so most of my time there was- not desired."
"Atsushi-kun, do you think we will get out of here? It hurts." "I'll try to think of a way, Kyouka-chan."
"I met a girl named Kyouka there. She was like a little sister to me. We spent our time there together, taking care of the other in case we got injured from the-" Atsushi paused before he continued, "Treatment of the adults." Akutagawa flinched, "They were abused?"
"Kyouka, are you ok?" "Big brother, I think something's wrong with me."
"When she turned five, she suddenly fell ill. I tried to get help from the adults but since the home was struggling, we couldn't treat her properly."
"Kyouka, don't fall asleep on me. Please keep your eyes open." "Atsushi-kun, I'm sleepy." "Please stay awake, Kyouka. I'm begging you, don't fall asleep."
"Considering the fact that she was young and didn't get proper treatment, it was safe to say she didn't make it." Atsushi explained
Akutagawa asked, "What was she like?"
"She didn't talk much but I could tell she cared about me. She was really nice, the other kids really liked her there. I could tell why." Atsushi smiled as he thought about the little actions that Kyouka made that would melt his heart
"Soon after that, a few kids that were close to her started disappearing. I soon found out that they were kicking out those who were close to her to prevent the sickness from spreading to the others." Atsushi said and Akutagawa mumbled, "That means- you were-?"
Atsushi nodded, "I was next. When they did kick me out, I had nowhere to go, of course. So I wandered around for a few days until, I resorted to stealing."
Akutagawa flinched. Right, he and Gin did that as well before they moved to asking random citizens if they needed help with clearing up areas with monsters.
"I tried stealing a few pieces of bread from this old couple," Atsushi mumbled and the cryo vision bearer looked at him, "Did you succeed?"
Atsushi laughed and shook his head, "No, they caught me."
The electro vision bearer smiled, "The old couple actually took me in after seeing me." The latter looked at Atsushi, "They took you in?"
Atsushi nodded, "They were really nice, actually. Treated me as if I were their own child."
"Child, what's your name?" "..." "Come on, now. I can't be calling you kid for the rest of your time here right? You're living with us." "Really?" "Really."
"I got kinda attached and so one day treasure hoarders came to our house. And I don't think they were there to not only rob us, but to kill us."
"Atsushi, dear. Stay here, ok?" "Grandm-" "Shh, don't let them hear you."
Akutagawa noticed the change in Atsushi's breathing and slowly intertwined their hands together earning a small smile from the younger, "Of course, they found my hiding place. But, before they could kill me, I got granted a vision."
"Stop moving!" "Fuck, he's so stubborn. Just hurry up." "No, please. Spare me. I beg you!" "Kill him already." "SHIT HE GOT GRANTED A VISION."
Atsushi stared at the hand that contained his scar, "When they tried killing me, I stopped the first swing with my hand. It left me a scar." Akutagawa chuckled, "So, that was what I saw." Atsushi tilted his head, "Y-you've seen my scar before? I don't recall showing it to-"
"You didn't show it to me," Akutagawa cut him off, "The day you were bandaging yourself up, I accidentally caught a glimpse of your scar." Atsushi hummed, "Oh." Akutagawa sighed, "I'm sorry for not telling you immidiatetly."
"No, it's fine. Don't worry." Atsushi smiled
Akutagawa sighed in relief and chuckled, "We're both broken, aren't we?"
Atsushi laughed, "I guess you can say that."
-
"Atsushi, what do you think of this world?" Akutagawa asked
Was that deja vu? Atsushi looked at the latter for a second before smiling, "I love it." Akutagawa's eyes widened before he smiled as well, "Me too,"
-
Atsushi's breath hitched as Akutagawa gripped his hand tightly. He stared at the cryo vision bearer, "Ryuu-" He gasped as he was slammed agaisnt the wall. He stared at the latter who's breath hitched, "You goddamn idiot."
Akutagawa clenched his hands, "Do you know how terrified I was to see you rush to me while the shogun's army was there?" Atsushi stayed silent as Akutagawa continued, "They could've caught you, Nakajima. They could've fucking caught you."
Atsushi's anger built up, "Did you really expect me to just stand there as you were about to get your fucking vision taken?" Akutagawa chukled, "You should've! I can't fucking lose you-" Atsushi cut him off, "I can't lose you too!"
Akutagawa froze as Atsushi trembled, "Do you know how terrified I was to see you surrounded by the Shogun's army? Do you know how much I wanted to fucking kill every single soldier there just to make sure you're safe?" Soon a sob came out, "I- i don't want to lose you too, ok?"
Akutagawa slowly pulled Atsushi into a hug, "I'm sorry," Akutagawa sighed as Atsushi hugged back, "I don't want to lose my precious you. Not even for a second,"
-
It was quiet. All too quiet. Atsushi felt chills run down his spine as he walked towards that spot that he and Akutagawa always went to. He felt a sigh of relief come out as he finally saw Akutagawa and called him out, "Ryuu,"
To his surprise, Akutagawa turned around confused, "Who are you?"
Atsushi held his breath. He looked at the back of Akutagawa's hand to see no vision