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That one time...
What was it again? Memories faded so fast, but he was never one to remember things well. No, that was Akechi. He remembered anything and everything always; the time of day he went out for coffee jelly.
The time of day he went out for coffee jelly, for God's sake.
A stalker. Dedicated, at the very least.
But that was irrelevant.
He… They were at school. Recess.
Stupid Takashi. People who created misfortune and inconvenience for others without good reason had a special kind of hatred reserved for them, courtesy of Saiki. Akechi could blab on and on for a long time, but he wasn't as annoying as everyone made him out to be. It was unfair and unjust the way Takashi picked on him relentlessly.
His art project… Yeah, that was it.
Takashi ruined his art project for no reason. He wasn't even talking to him at the moment.
Mind your own business.
It was a nice little house. He thinks the roof was red, but it was too long to recall.
The paper was wrinkled; he remembered that much. Wrinkled and dirty. They had to ask the teacher for more, which he reluctantly gave them.
Akechi did most of the work. Saiki was never great at arts and crafts. To this day, he didn't know why he stuck around to "help". He could've played on the swings, at least staying out of his way. And even he didn't mention anything about his presence, even when he built the walls as Saiki sat on the floor next to him.
Akechi was blathering on about something.
Something…
He. Clicked. His. Tongue. In. Thought.
And… There it was.
Bugs.
Horrible, terrible, disgusting bugs.
But it was okay, because he wasn't being graphic.
********************
"... Y'know Kusuo-kun, the camel cricket is considered a pest, but it's actually harmless. I've seen some behind the school."
'... It is?'
"Yeah! I know you don't like them, but maybe you'd be a little less scared if you knew they couldn't hurt you."
'I'm not scared.'
Akechi laughed as he spread glue on the edge of the cardstock.
"That's okay Kusuo-kun, your secret's safe with me!"
Saiki smiled.
"Can you pass me the scissors?"
Saiki grabbed the scissors from next to him and placed them in Akechi's hand.
"Thank you!" said Akechi, smiling brightly. "Y'know, the camel cricket isn't even a cricket. They don't have wings, so you can't tell an adult from an immature one. And they can't hear, since they can't chirp like crickets can. Crickets communicate by singing, and camel crickets…"
********************
Odd. Strange. Annoying.
But really, he wasn't.
That's what everyone said, but they were quick to assume. Saiki knew how people thought; the inner workings of their minds, but they didn't even know themselves.
He didn't even know himself.
He should've been annoying. He should've been annoyed.
There was a lot of "should'ves" that Saiki knew were not. They were not and he was not and he was and it stung.
There was no way of knowing. Saiki didn't usually concern himself with petty human emotion.
Yet, here he was, a petty human with petty human emotions.
What a pain.
But he figured it had been long enough.
But it still wasn't and he couldn't seem to make up his mind.
Make. Up. Your. Mind!
He used to think about him sometimes. He wondered how he was doing, who he was seeing; if he was happy.
It wasn't a necessity, but he hoped, he wished he was happy.
It was normal to wish well for your friends.
It was normal to think about old memories.
It was normal to stop thinking about things that hurt.
He was only human, after all.
He wasn't human.
And it stopped, so abruptly, as soon as things got too strange, too foreign, too absolutely terrifying.
It was so easy to focus on something else, especially with the flooding thoughts of the people next door.
But that was back in middle school. He hadn't seen him in six years.
Eventually, he stopped thinking about him; at least, for long.
And he saw him again, and nothing changed, really, nothing changed.
Nothing, nothing, nothing, and everything.
How stupid.
How childish.
How random.
Akechi leaned his heels up the tiniest bit to reach a book from the top shelf. It was like he tried to hide the fact that he was small, except it backfired because Saiki helped him anyway.
Because he'd say, "Kusuo-kun, I can't reach. Please help me with this book."
Rude and blunt, and still polite.
Odd.
You look silly when you do that. That's okay, your secret's safe with me.
Remember. Remembered. Remembering.
Funny.
He could trust him. For talking at such length, he didn't say anything very important.
This worked in Saiki's favor.
Safe; he was safe.
But this; this was dangerous. Dangerous territory.
Did he actually want to eat the cake?
That other time…
There were a lot of times, but none of them mattered and all of them mattered.
Contradictory.
Like a human.
Love.
No.
Like a human.
Random and rushing and intersecting, out of place.
Nothing was rational anymore.
I would rather you enjoy it. We can buy more.
Wrong.
It's all wrong.
He already knew the answer to his question. Both of his questions.
Hold, care, wait, hold on.
And he had to back up.
Cradle his head in his hands because that was too much.
It might be nice, but there were steps along the way that he wasn't sure he was willing to take.
And he wouldn't take them for him.
He would have to be the one, because Akechi was never one to be bold.
But he was one to be bold.
He couldn't know if it was certain; his thoughts were too fast, too loud.
Nothing would get done if he sat around thinking about it.
Maybe it was better to sit around thinking about it.
It was forced and oh so natural, as thoughts are.
They staggered and stuttered.
Like
Stairs.
Pathetic.
You don't know what you're doing to me.
It's easier to lie to himself, he thinks.
And it is.
But he knows he's lying, and it shatters his illusion.
Illusion.
Not one of his powers.
His powers couldn't help him with this.
Maybe he could-
He heard a knock on the door. The door opened a few seconds later.
"Ku-chan? Are you ready for school? You're going to be late. You usually leave earlier."
Hmm.
"Ku-chan? Is something wrong?" said Kurumi.
This was supposed to feel wonderful.
And it did, but it still didn't.
Movies lie.
'I'm fine.'
And it took her a second, and she knew he was lying, and so did he, but it was time for school and he was going to be late.
An easy excuse.
"Alright," she says, and with that she shuts the door.
I'm sorry, Touma. For everything. I'll see you at school.
He grabs his bag from the side of his desk.
He'll fix this later.