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“You know, staring at someone isn’t as romantic as people make it out to be.”
Shouta blinked, his eyes and mind regaining focus on the boy sitting next to him. A massive grin was splitting Oboro’s face, his eyes crinkling with poorly-contained laughter.
“What?” he said, trying to tune into the conversation. Asking for clarification was something he had to do quite often when talking with his two friends- Oboro would just start talking about a random subject like they had been discussing it beforehand (even though they hadn’t), and Hizashi was prone to talk about a multitude of things at the same time and then ask Shouta’s opinion about a specific one he had mentioned.
(Shouta usually just talked about a few, same-y topics. He liked having his routines.)
(Most of his topics were cats.)
Oboro sighed and rolled his eyes, like all the people around him just couldn’t see the things he saw in the world. “You know, the staring you were just doing. It’s not romantic, it’s creepy.” Then he hugged his arms around himself. “Could you imagine being a girl and having a man just- stare at you? Ew.”
“I’m-” Shouta blinked in disbelief again, something he did quite a lot of when talking to the cloud-haired boy. “I… wasn’t staring at a girl, though.”
He could understand where his friend was coming from. It’s not like he ever tried to creep people out- he didn’t mean to, it was just his… everything. His voice, his hair, his eyes (which were getting more and more bloodshot every day) all somehow put people off.
(He had tried smiling more, one day. Hizashi had pulled him aside and asked him if everything was alright.)
Oboro looked at the dark-haired boy sitting next to him, and slightly tapped him on the back. He always, somehow knew what Shouta was thinking.
“Nah, I know you weren’t.” He then kicked his feet up on the empty chair in front of the desk he was sitting at, leaning back. “I went off a tangent, sorry- still,” He turned towards Shouta and smirked, “I don’t think Yamada would mind being stared at by you.”
Shouta turned towards him fully, while Oboro barked out a laugh just by looking at his face.
Logically, it was the truth. Hizashi had told him on multiple occasions that he didn’t mind Shouta’s eyes, or how scary they were, or how he sometimes just didn’t want to talk- he had said they were the reasons he liked him.
And what a head rush that was.
But then again, Oboro didn’t mind those things as well- he didn’t actively tell Shouta that he liked them, like Hizashi did, but he was his friend for a reason. That had to mean something.
But it was different, with Hizashi. Everything was. The moment Shouta had beaten him at UA’s Sports Festival, he had expected anger and contempt at the fact that a kid from General Education had been able to beat one of the most promising and powerful students that year- but Hizashi had gotten up and smiled brightly, showing his braces on full display, and started asking Shouta questions about his quirk, and where he learnt to fight like that, and whether he would transfer into the Hero Course, and would you sit next to me, if you do transfer? What am I saying, of course you will-
Like sunlight, his warm presence entered Shouta’s life gradually, never too much, never too little. He always knew when to leave him alone for a bit, or when he needed help. He eclipsed Shouta’s cold moonlight, managing to worm his way into the oh-so-important routine the dark-haired student had created for himself.
How fitting.
Oboro, on the other hand, had barged into it unannounced, making his presence known by shining bright smiles and loudly teasing Shouta. Hizashi and him had been friends before the dry-eyed teen became part of the class, so maybe it was more fitting to say that Shouta had been the one entering their routine- but it never felt that way.
Shouta had never found him annoying either, surprising even himself- had it been someone else, he was sure he would’ve hated them. Some people were just impossible to dislike, he supposed.
At the same time, instances like this one did tick him off a bit.
“I wasn’t staring at him.” Shouta huffed out, hiding his face by leaning his head on his arms on top of his desk. “I was- watching him. I just wanted to see what he was doing.”
“Sure,” Oboro snorted, “does that watching imply leaning on your hand with a starstruck look, looking like a damsel in love too?”
Shouta growled and whacked Oboro in the back of the head, his hand going through his wispy strands of hair, while his friend finally laughed out loud and moved his chair out of the way.
“I don’t look like that. And- what would a damsel in love even look like? You’ve never seen one.” Once again, Shouta was just stating facts- Oboro had never seen someone that was in love with him, so he definitely didn’t have that experience.
Once again, his friends got mad at the weirdest things.
“Hey!” the taller boy said, feigning an indignant expression. “Come on, give me a break. Love at first sight is not something everyone has the blessing to experience.”
“Will you cut it out? It-” Shouta began saying, only to stop dead in his tracks when a familiar figure stepped in front of their desks. And maybe it was concerning, that his whole body seemed to relax at just seeing Hizashi’s silhouette.
(Shouta tried to not look into the reasons too much.)
“Honestly,” Hizashi began, his voice filling Shouta with brightness, “Oboro laughing like that while I’m not around? That feels illegal.” He joked, his signature smile covering his face.
(He had always liked Hizashi’s braces, and the crinkles that would form around his eyes when he smiled like that. The freckles on his nose and cheeks were something he often found himself staring at, too.)
No, not staring. Watching. he told himself, even if he was beginning to question whether the distinction he had made actually made that much of a difference.
“Nah, man, you don’t even understand.” Oboro said, leaning forward on his desk. “It’s like magic. Every time you’re not around, Aizawa just becomes a joke machine, I swear.”
Shouta rolled his eyes, a grin slowly stretching on his lips.
“Sho!” Hizashi gasped dramatically, immediately following along with the bit. “I cannot believe that you’re a professional stand-up comedian and never told me!” He flopped down heavily on the chair next to him, his right hand on his chest.
Shouta couldn’t believe that these people actually existed. He couldn’t believe how dumb they were.
“Sure I am. Just get me a microphone, and I’ll have everyone in this room rolling on the ground in two minutes.”
He couldn’t believe how much he cared for them both.
Oboro roared with laughter, but this time, Hizashi laughed too. Shouta tried to justify himself again, how it was logical and rational to think that Hizashi was pretty- he just was, and that was the objective truth. No shame in thinking about it.
(And even if he did think that because of something else, Oboro didn’t need to know.)
“Man,” the cloud-haired boy started again after he had calmed down, “what were you even doing? Me and Aizawa missed you, you know. You didn’t talk with us for almost all the lunch break.”
Amusement was still dancing in his eyes, Oboro starting with ease that banter that just Hizashi and him could have- full of jabs, jokes, and quick-witted lines. They had an amazing relationship, one that Shouta was glad Hizashi had. He would have never been able to act like that for him, and the blond student needed someone like Oboro. They just suited each other.
Hizashi brought his right hand up, stroking behind his neck- a nervous gesture he often did involuntarily, while still being careful of avoiding his perfectly styled hair.
(It was hard to maintain. He had showed Shouta how he did it, one day.)
“Ah, sorry.” He said, looking to the ground. “Okada was asking me to help with our math homework, ‘cause she couldn’t manage to get the last one right. I just wound up explaining everything to her again… she was probably bored.” Then he awkwardly laughed, still not raising his eyes towards his friends.
That was another thing that he always did. Hizashi was always shy about his intelligence, about the fact that he had the best grades of the class in pretty much every subject. Shouta had never understood it. It wasn’t like he went around bragging about his grades, he just studied and achieved results. There was no reason for him to be embarrassed by it.
But then again, Shouta didn’t really understand much of other people. They were all so different, and the only person he knew fully was himself, with his bluntness and rationality.
(His own reliability was comforting, in a way.)
“Nah,” Oboro jumped in before the silence could drag on, “don’t worry about it. I feel like I should pay you for all the times you’ve tutored me, man, you make it so easy to understand.”
Hizashi rapidly blushed, his red-colored cheeks highlighting the numerous freckles scattered in the bridge of his nose. “Jeez, shut up.” He laughed, shoving Oboro to the side. “It’s just- you know… the right thing to do.”
And if Shouta had tried denying himself up until then, it became useless at that moment.
Hizashi was kind. Everything he did, he always looked out for others with a bright smile that put everyone at ease. He never refused to help someone, always went the extra mile. His warmth was so, so soothing- every time Shouta thought he couldn’t love him more (there was no use in not calling it what it was- love), he did something that left him reeling.
Shouta was yanked away from his thoughts when Oboro spoke up again. “Do you guys think Nedzu will actually check if we’ve done our homework or not? ‘Cause if he does, I’m gonna have a problem.”
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Shouta had always liked his room. It wasn’t big, he didn’t need much space- his bed, wardrobe and desk were all he ever truly used.
That didn’t mean it was empty, though. Hizashi had actually been surprised when he had seen all the posters and pictures he had on his walls, be it heroes, cats or photos of his family.
It was a space that was his. That was enough for him.
The first time his best friend had come to visit him had been a stressful one. He hadn’t known how to behave, or if he should have cleaned up better (even though everything was already clean), so he had resorted to biting his nails until Hizashi had gently pried his hand from his mouth and just smiled at him.
(He didn’t feel nervous anymore, after that.)
They never went to Hizashi’s home when they had their study sessions. Shouta didn’t question it. He had never been to his friend’s house, but Hizashi had never shown any signs of wanting Shouta there, so he never asked. That was that.
“They’re all correct!” The blond kid cheered from his spot next to Shouta. Both sitting on the floor of his bedroom, they had their English books open in front of them. “Nice! You probably don’t even need my help anymore.” Hizashi continued, light dancing in his eyes. He was always so truthfully happy whenever Shouta got something right- it was always so apparent on his face that the dark-haired boy never questioned Hizashi’s willingness at helping him with homework.
Shouta’s eyes drifted to the book he had in front of him again, pride blossoming in his chest.
(He liked getting stuff right. There wasn’t a particular reason why- he just didn’t like not understanding things.)
“I’ll do the last one.” He said, his eyes quickly scanning Hizashi’s own book to confirm that- yep, he’d already finished everything.
“Right, right.” His friend said, leaning back to lay down on the floor. He brought his hand up to push his glasses back up, then stared at Shouta’s ceiling.
The shorter boy may have not been stellar at reading others, but he knew how to read Hizashi.
(Funny, how Hizashi simply wasn’t other people anymore. How Shouta automatically saw him as his own category.)
So he left his friend to his thoughts, as he went back to his last exercise.
Time passed, but Shouta didn’t mind. He knew Hizashi wouldn’t mind, mainly. He always told him to take his time, I’m in no rush, Sho! and Hizashi didn’t lie. Not to him.
“Have I ever told you that your quirk is like- my favorite quirk ever?” His friend suddenly said from his spot on the ground. Shouta jerked his head towards him, but he was still staring at the ceiling, lost in his head.
The dark-haired kid felt his cheeks heating up, the unexpectedness of the compliment catching him off guard. “No. You never said that.”
And why would he, really? Hizashi had one of the most powerful quirks Shouta had ever encountered, something that would surely help him in becoming an amazing hero.
Shouta, on the other hand? He basically was quirkless while fighting- erasure didn’t give any sort of power (except making his hair float, for some reason), so all he had was his own body. Not to mention, his quirk was just not very hero-like. It was something that stripped people of a part of themselves, making them lose what made them stand out.
Useful, sure. Someone’s favorite quirk, though? No.
But Hizashi never lied to him.
“Why?” He asked, clenching his fists on top of his criss-crossed legs.
(His cheeks were still very much red.)
“Uh?” His friend hummed, still not moving his eyes. Oboro always teased Shouta about the fact that he would often get lost in his own head, but Hizashi was as bad as him. If not worse. “Mh, I don’t know.” He continued, his eyebrows scrunching up as he thought.
“It’s just- incredible, you know? Even just the concept of it.” When Hizashi found his footing in a conversation, there was no way to stop him. “Like, completely cancelling someone’s quirk? That’s… that’s like, fucking amazing!”
Hizashi wasn’t paying attention to him. He never did, when he got like this- wildly gesticulating, never stopping one second, words tumbling out of his mouth.
(That just gave Shouta the opportunity to watch him some more.)
“It’s like- man, how does that even work? Like- do you manipulate their DNA, or something? With just your eyes? You can-” he continued, his breaths straining to keep up with the velocity of his ramblings, “you can just stop anything. It’s… it’s amazing.” He quieted after that, his hands coming to rest on top of his stomach, a small smile gracing his features.
(Shouta quickly turned his head. He had already counted Hizashi’s freckles enough times.)
“Not everything.” Shouta said, because he needed to say something, “I can’t erase mutation quirks. I just have to… fight them, then.”
Then he took a deep breath, still not turning towards his friend. “Yours, on the other hand, it’s-” he stopped, his words dying in his throat. There was a reason he never spoke like this. He wasn’t good at it. “You’re incredible. Your quirk- your quirk is. It’s… it’s so powerful, and-”
Shouta closed his eyes, his eyebrows scrunching up. Why couldn’t he just talk? Why couldn’t he-
“Sorry, it’s- I-” he began, before Hizashi’s soft voice gently cut him off.
(Usually Shouta was the one doing that, interrupting Oboro and Hizashi’s ramblings.)
“Sho. It’s fine.” he said. The only part of him Shouta could currently see were his legs, stretched out next to him. “It’s… yeah.”
And that was something he had never heard.
His best friend had never sounded like that, in the time he had known him. Shouta finally turned, coming face to face with an almost dejected-looking Hizashi.
And that did not suit him at all.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, his words quiet. He slowly pushed his book to the side, his eyes never leaving his friend. He wasn’t one to push people to tell him what they didn’t want to say, but he didn’t like seeing his friend’s green eyes look so dull.
(He had always loved Hizashi’s eyes. Their bright color, their peculiar shape- he felt as if he could stare at them for hours.)
Hizashi remained quiet, still not moving from his position from the ground. Shouta didn’t ask again. He wasn’t in a rush.
“You never had to learn to control it, you know?” he finally said, in a voice so frail and soft Shouta had to strain his ears to hear him. “You can just- turn yours on and off, whenever you need it. Right?”
Shouta didn’t know if he actually wanted an answer, but he said it anyway. “Yes.”
“I had to-” Hizashi barreled on as soon as Shouta answered, as if he was trying to push out all the words before he chickened out. “I had to learn how to control it. It’s my voice, I can’t just-” another deep breath, “I can’t just turn it on and off.”
Hizashi moved his arms around himself, his legs jittering with nerves. “But it wasn’t easy, you know? It’s-”
Shouta’s eyes involuntarily moved to his best friend’s ears, where two blue hearing aids were nestled. He quickly shifted them to Hizashi’s eyes, which were still fixated to a spot on Shouta’s ceiling, holding to it like a lifeline.
"Being with you, it makes me feel... safe. 'Cause I know that you can just- stop me, in case-" Hizashi took a sharp breath, rapidly blinking.
“Before I knew how to control myself, I- I hurt a lot of people, Sho. I even hurt myself, my own ears. ” he admitted, “Even my parents, they- they’re deaf, because of me.”
“No.” Shouta said, his body moving towards his friend. If there was something he was certain of, it was that Hizashi was good. In every aspect of his personality, there was nothing but a desire to help, to aid others. “You’re talking like- like you did it on purpose. You didn’t.”
“I just-” the blond teen said, finally moving his eyes towards his friend, “I should’ve- I should’ve done better. I-” Hizashi slowly sat up, “I made my own parents deaf, Sho. I-”
As Shouta watched, tears slowly started streaking the sea of freckles on his best friend’s skin, dripping down his face and onto his school uniform. And how weird it was that Shouta found even that beautiful, seeing what looked like stars come out of his friend’s eyes and slowly tear down his cheeks.
Most of all, Shouta felt his chest ache. Because how could the universe be fair when someone like Hizashi could still get hurt?
That wasn’t right.
Shouta slowly inched forward, moving his arms to embrace the boy sitting next to him. As Hizashi gently placed his head on Shouta’s shoulder, the dark-haired teen tried to find his words.
I’m sorry wouldn’t feel right. It had never felt good when someone said it to him when he told them about his father, just an empty sentence.
“It’s okay.” He whispered, afraid of going above the hushed tones they had been using until that moment. “It’s okay.” They would be okay. They had promised to become heroes together.
Time passed, but it was fine. They weren’t in a rush.
Hizashi sniffled, slowly moving his head from the spot on Shouta’s shoulder. Big, green eyes stared up at black ones, as if they were trying to take in every detail.
Hizashi grunted out a small laugh rubbing his eyes with his left hand, careful to never remove himself from Shouta’s embrace. “Mh. I suppose you haven’t finished your homework, right?”
Shouta snorted, his eyes crinkling. “No. No, I haven’t.”
And maybe Shouta did like staring at Hizashi, at the way the light reflected on his irids, the way his braces just made his smile look even wider, the way the countless dots on his face framed his nose.
Hizashi leaned forward first, because of course he did.
(And Shouta added that to his list, the way Hizashi’s lips tasted like chapstick and peppermint.)
And he didn’t care about Oboro’s teasing, as long as he could have this.