Chapter Text
ace of wands - the ace of wands indicates occurrence of a breakthrough moment in your life
Sometimes, Tommy would wonder if he was different.
Well- maybe wonder wasn't the best word. Fear would probably be a better descriptor.
The thing is, he’s pretty okay with life right now. Having a good family, and two best friends that he’d put his life on the line for probably helped- it’s definitely made his life better at least a little bit. And besides, if he did happen to have a falling out with any of them, he was on okay terms with a few other people in the village he lived in.
He was terrified that, with him being… whatever he was, it would all fall apart
He wasn't sure when it started. When everyone around him had started to change, in barely noticeable ways- but ones that seemed immeasurable important to them.
(“It’s just- love .” A girl attempted to explain to him. “You know?”
He didn’t.)
He just couldn’t seem to get it. Sure he loved his dad, his brothers, his friends, but the type everyone else was feeling seemed so much better.
He deflected questions about who he had a crush on, stating he 'already had all the women' while flashing a smirk. And it seemed to work, they’d crack a smile and leave him alone.
He'd almost gotten used to it, never actually answering the questions thrown at him, when he had a conversation that made him reconsider what he’d been doing.
///
It was a little past 4am, and Tubbo and Ranboo were sleeping over at Tommy’s house, as they did every friday.
None of them had fallen asleep yet, but they weren't talking either, a peaceful silence having settled over the room.
Ranboo is the one to break it.
"Hey, uh, guys?" He sounds nervous- more than he usually does.
"Shut the fuck up, Boo. I’m trying to sleep." Tubbo groans from his spot in between the two. "But what is it?"
"Yeah," Tommy adds. "What's up, Ran?"
Ranboo sits up, cross legged, and Tommy blinks, but follows suit.
So it's going to be this kind of conversation.
Tubbo leans back against Tommy’s chest, not sitting up completely but making it clear his focus is on Ranboo.
The person in question fiddles with their hands, looking a little bit lost. "Uh-" He starts, his voice cracking.
"I have to tell you both something." His voice wavers, and Tommy reaches out to give his hand a comforting squeeze. Tubbo grabs the other, and Ranboo smiles at them both gratefully.
"Okay, so, um, I've been thinking." They continue, voice a little bit stronger. "And- you know how I came out to you guys with he/they pronouns a little while back?" They both nod. "I did a little more research, and, um, I think-"
They take a breath, and blurt out. "I'm aromantic."
There's silence for a beat.
Ranboo looks ready to bolt, but Tubbo whispers, "Not to alarm you, boss man, but I don't think either of us know what that is."
Ranboo, who'd been squeezing Tommy's hand to hell and back nervously, finally lets up. "Oh!" They say, sounding relieved. "It's, um, when you don't like anyone- like, romantically." He elaborates.
Tommy and Tubbo are both silent for a moment again, but this time for a very different reason- at least, in Tommy's case.
That's- that's a thing?
He can’t comprehend anything for a second, mind reeling.
Holy shit .
He doesn't focus on his revelation, though, instead leaning forward and wrapping his friend in a hug- subsequently squishing Tubbo, who's trapped in between them, but he's sure it's fine.
"Proud of you, big man." Tommy says, squeezing Ranboo tighter. "You didn't have to tell us, but I'm glad you did." Tubbo adds a muffled sound of agreement from in between them, and Ranboo chuckles wetly.
"Thanks." He says, sniffling. "Love you guys." He says, and Tommy and Tubbo both chorus a “Love you too.” back.
They stay like that for a little bit, Tommy giving them five more minutes of allotted "sappy time", before pulling away.
"Alright fuckers, that's enough tears for today." He declares, flopping back onto his spot on the bed. "I'm going to sleep. G'night."
He closes his eyes as two ‘night!’s are echoed back, thoughts that had been pushed back flooding his mind again.
Aromantic . Tommy tests the word a few times, trying it out.
That could- that could work . Huh.
He grins a little bit, and drifts off.
///
The next morning, after his friends have left, Tommy googles the term.
It all comes up with the same thing- Experiencing no romantic attraction or having no desire for a romantic relationship.
That’s him.
He takes a breath to steady himself, gripping the edge of his desk tightly, because- that’s him .
He’s aro.
It feels right, thinking about it. Something about the term clicks. He can’t stop the giddy smile from making its way onto his face, just as much as he can’t resist clicking further through pages and pages about aromanticism.
He’s making his way through his third article when something catches his eye.
Sometimes, instead of romantic relationships, aromantic people will choose to be in Queer-Platonic Relationships. These are strictly platonic relationships that can appear as a close friendship, or resemble a romantic one.
Huh. He’ll have to keep that in mind.
He continues down the rabbit hole of information, only stopping once he realizes he’s somehow gone through at least a hundred genders on the wiki (how are there so many?)- and, no offense to gender, but he’s fairly sure he knows what his is.
Does he?
… He’ll unpack that later. For now, though, he closes his web browser, and takes a deep breath.
Everything is fine.