Chapter Text
Five years, Towa thought as she looked at the man before her. She hadn’t seen him for five years since she healed his wounds and he left after she allowed him to. She had only asked that he seek peace with Rion.
“You are now well enough to travel. But...when you do, don’t be self-destructive again. If you need healing, you can call me. My hearing is good and I’ll hear you across the distances, my father has taught me how,” Towa said as she stood in the garden with Kirinmaru, her newborn brother, a week old and already a good sleeper, Tadaaki slept in her arms to allow her mother and father some rest without constantly thinking to care for Tadaaki.
Kirinmaru had stared at her for a long time before speaking. “What does my Princess suggest I do then? Or how do I summon you?” He asked her.
“Seek peace...with your daughter, Rion...and whistle for me,” she told him. It was how Sesshomaru trained her and Setsuna once and told her to practice with Setsuna going forward. Practicing in the woods or in the palace, they would whistle for one another. She even heard grandmother once and had taken A-Un to visit her the day after the birth of her brother.
She had waited year after year for Kirinmaru to make his appearance but to no avail. She kept herself open to receive a whistle from him, but he never called her.
She now held her youngest brother, month old Asahi, in her arms while Tadaaki clung to her kimono.
“Towa-nee-chan,” Tadaaki whined softly.
“It’s alright, he’s powerful I know, but he’s...my friend,” Towa said carefully. She looked down at Tadaaki who stared at Kirinmaru, his ears laying flat and his nose sniffing. He was basically trembling against her, Kirinmaru’s aura having Tadaaki cling to her.
Kirinmaru knelt down on a knee before Tadaaki. “You look like your father but with your mother’s hair and grandmother’s facial markings on the cheeks,” Kirinmaru commented. “And your father has gifted you a pelt of your own.
“No...my Grandmother did,” Tadaaki corrected Kirinmaru and then buried his face into Towa’s hip. “Go away now,” he whined out.
Towa awkwardly laughed.
“Go away, Towa is busy with me and Asahi!” Tadaaki said, his voice muffled by Towa’s hip and clothing. She felt his tiny hands tighten on her and Asahi fussed in her arms.
“Shh...shh,” Towa rocked Asahi. She glanced at Kirinmaru who stood up slowly.
“I wish to speak to you, when it is possible. May I, little prince, visit your great Aunt Aiya?” Kirinmaru asked.
Tadaaki turned his head to look at Kirinmaru. “Fine,” he said quickly and buried his face back into Towa’s hip.
“You remind me of your father. He did the very same thing when a stranger introduced himself. He was just your height too, clinging to his mother,” Kirinmaru commented as he walked around Towa and Tadaaki, walking onto the path to the North Wing.
Tadaaki let go of Towa and watched Kirinmaru walking away. Towa met his gaze as he pointed at Kirinmaru. “He wanted to take you away! I know it!” Tadaaki complained and stomped his foot on the ground. “I hate him!”
“Hate is a very strong word Tadaaki,” Setsuna called out and Towa looked up to see Setsuna smiling down at them from A-Un, Jaken in front of her with the reins.
“Setsuna! A youkai man wanted to take Towa away! She’s our sister! Tell him no and send him off!” Tadaaki shouted up to Setsuna. “I want him to go away!”
“Ah,” Jaken sighed out. “Lord Kirinmaru has made his return then.”
Towa saw Setsuna frown and follow the direction of Tadaaki’s pointing. “Tadaaki...Kirinmaru can never steal Towa away. She is our sister, she’ll always come home,” Setsuna assured her.
“No! Towa stays with me forever and ever!” Tadaaki cried out, tears welling up in his eyes, and he took off running to the Western Wing to their parents.
“Towa, you should go to your parents before Tadaaki paints a very different picture for your father,” Jaken recommended.
Asahi let out a yawn and Setsuna leapt off A-Un. She walked over and took him in her arms. “Come here our little sunshine,” Setsuna cooed to the white haired baby.
Towa had thought it odd when Setsuna had immeasurably softened at Tadaaki’s birth. Asahi received the same love and attention from Setsuna that she showered upon Tadaaki. Towa remembered when Setsuna hated Tadaaki when he was still in their mother’s womb. Even going so far as to often claim that Tadaaki was a beastly child. Now she adored her younger siblings. The tears and smiles Setsuna had with the birth of each brother spoke volumes of Setsuna’s heart. It was bright as the sun, her father had told her when Setsuna held Asahi first, helping their mother in the delivery, as Towa had done with Tadaaki.
Towa took off running into the tower, lifting her skirts as she ascended the stairs. She reached the floor as Tadaaki wiggled his way between his parents, who were vainly trying to sleep. Asahi was not a fan of sleeping and even her father was exhausted, a feat of Asahi’s stubbornness to bring their restless father to desperation of placing his newborn son into Towa’s arms with a tired glower and shooing her out.
“Tadaaki, let your mother rest,” her father said, his voice low and the tiredness was there too, as he stilled Tadaaki’s hands from grabbing Rin’s arm. “What is going on?”
She knew the question was for her but Tadaaki sat on their father’s chest, crossing his arms and legs. Towa saw their mother stir and she rolled over to face them.
“A bad, bad youkai man wants to take Towa away! Papa, you have to kill him!” Tadaaki ordered and slammed his hands down on Sesshomaru’s chest. Sesshomaru made a non-committal snort and glanced at Towa. Amber eyes half-lidded nearly fell shut once more.
“We are resorting to violence so quickly, Tadaaki?” Rin asked quietly and amused.
“Yes! War for my sister! She’s mine to keep here with us!” Tadaaki proclaimed loudly.
Towa saw her father’s eyes, which had drooped down a moment after snorting at Tadaaki’s claims of a bad youkai, widen and become alert at the volume of Tadaaki’s voice.
Sesshomaru grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him to lay down on his chest, tucked under his chin. “No war today, Tadaaki,” Rin hummed softly as she reached over to stroke his hair and ears.
“But Towa,” Tadaaki complained softly.
“If who you are speaking about is who I think it is...he will be respectful,” Rin yawned. “Now rest, my sweet boy, and forget war,” she said gently. “You are far too young to declare war.”
Towa saw her father rub Tadaaki’s back before lifting his left arm to dismiss her with a wave of his hand. She nodded and pulled the door shut quietly and descended the stairs all the way down to the main floor and back into the garden.
Setsuna was sitting on the grass with Shiori and Shippo. Asahi fast asleep in her arms.
“We saw Kirinmaru has returned,” Shippo said and Towa sighed as she nodded and knelt down beside Setsuna.
“How did it go up there?” Setsuna asked Towa.
“Mama and Papa are making Tadaaki to cease his declarations of war against Kirinmaru...he’s going to nap with them,” Towa added.
“Poor boy, he is quite attached to you,” Shiori commented softly, her expression warm despite the coolness of the colour.
“To both of his sisters. He’s like Inuyasha, he has specific people in his life and just growls at anyone who tries to come in between him and them. Like Khouga...now they’re friends,” Shippo said as he folded his arms.
“Likely because Moroha was entrusted into Khouga and Ayame’s care before she was taught by Yawaragi,” Setsuna said.
“Kirinmaru said Father reacted much like Tadaaki does to strangers when he was much younger,” Towa told Setsuna.
“Oh? Really...that would be funny to imagine,” Setsuna said with a smirk. Towa nodded in agreement.
She heard the doors across the garden open and she scented Kirinmaru. He walked across the garden and approached her and her group.
As Kirinmaru approached, Towa properly took in his clothing, back to his dark colours, but he still wore no armour, nor his mask, and the clothing looked worn. He stopped and looked at the tower. “I assume the little prince has informed your parents of my arrival,” Kirinmaru stated dryly, a small smirk of amusement threatening to quirk higher.
“Yes, but they are exhausted from Asahi’s refusal to sleep longer than an hour in the night. Even Papa has been brought to exhaustion and Asahi is only three weeks old,” Towa explained.
“Tadaaki’s claim for war and violence has also been halted by a nap,” Setsuna added, informing Kirinmaru of Tadaaki’s antics.
“Well, since we are still living in peace, may I speak with you Towa?” Kirinmaru asked.
Towa glanced at Setsuna who nodded and looked down at Asahi who made a soft sound. Setsuna stood up.
“Shiori, Shippo, let’s walk and distract Asahi before he decides to wake,” Setsuna suggested. “He seems to be enjoying the autumn wind.”
The two hopped up and followed along with Setsuna for a walk.
“Your Aunt Aiya is doing well, she says,” Kirinmaru said as Towa stood up before him.
“She is a grandmother now, her son has moved into the East Wing with his wife and child. Tadaaki had also helped her a lot when he was just a baby. She spent a lot of time with Mama and Tadaaki,” Towa said with a smile. “Born just after Kenzo’s passing.” A gentle reminder that Kirinmaru had been at the palace, recovering from an infection she treated. He looked at her as if remembering that he had been there for everything.
“And how have you been faring?” Kirinmaru asked her, finally breaking the silence that grew between them.
Towa looked down at the grass and frowned. “My life here has been good. We’re safe in the mountains. My family is healthy and we’ve bonded since moving here. But…” she stopped and lifted her chin to hold his gaze. “I’ve always worried about you. Five years is a long time to not contact someone when they say to contact them.”
“I was in good health,” he told her, his expression neutral. She wondered if she could scent his lies, like her father was capable. He had explained it was simply the body betraying itself.
“The heart quickens during a lie. The scent of perspiration changes. Even the pupils of the person’s eyes change. We’ll have Kohaku demonstrate the next time he comes to visit Shippo,” her father explained once when Tadaaki was still just learning to crawl. It was the first time her father had offered to teach her something. He hadn’t even included Setsuna, it was something for just the two of them. She knew Setsuna was more in touch with her senses, so it explained why her father offered. But as she played with Tadaaki on the floor of her father’s study, the door to the porch open to let in the cool spring breeze and the sun’s light, it had been a moment of father-daughter bonding. His expression was warm as he watched her and Tadaaki on the floor. She made her paper frog hop across the floor, Tadaaki’s peel of laughter making her giggle herself.
“I still had hoped you would call for me,” Towa said, feeling the blush creep up on her cheeks. If she had been confused in the past, she was even more confused now with his presence.
“I’ve mostly made my peace, Towa. It required some time, travel, and meditation,” he told her as he looked at the garden in full bloom that was slowly changing and wilting with the changing season. “I will resume traveling...it’s always interesting to see the coast when winter has covered the land. The constant waves never freeze the waters entirely in the open waters...only if they are small bodies of water.”
She forgot about this side of him, the daiyoukai who once sailed the seas. He had sunk his ship, armour, and mask all those years ago and she still wonders if it was an act of distancing himself from his past or discarding his title. He had been careless with his health too. She wondered if his motivation to leave everything at the bottom of the sea was a healthy decision or if there was something more dark in his mind.
She stepped closer to him. He didn’t move and she raised her hand to cup his right cheek. She saw his eyes close and he held her hand gently.
“You are so very young,” Kirinmaru commented quietly as he opened his eyes, viridian eyes staring at her.
“You are so very old...maybe ancient even. Yet, I stepped toward you first,” Towa retorted softly.
“You are a child,” Kirinmaru argued. “A pup.”
“I’m a woman of twenty-one years, Kirinmaru,” Towa corrected with a snort. “Women seven years younger than me get married in the human villages...though Mama and Kagome are quite opposed to it and had the age raised to sixteen where Kagome still lives.”
“I’m twelve hundred years old. I have had many lovers,” Kirinmaru stated.
Towa had known that it was possible that there would be a massive age gap and difference in numbers of lovers. After all, he sired Rion six hundred years earlier. She held her ground and kept her hand to his cheek. He was still battling himself, whereas she had accepted her feelings for him years after he left.
“I’m possibly in love with you. Though I know I shouldn’t love a man that sealed his hanyou daughter away for six centuries and that he’s had countless lovers and I have had none...I’m still drawn to you. But if you are uncertain, you may leave now and never come back,” Towa told him quietly, sucking in her breath at her own ultimatum.
She watched as Kirinmaru thought of his options. There was something akin to fear in his eyes. He thought of one option and didn’t like the outcome she thought. What surprised her was when he pulled her against his chest. She was pressed flush against him and she stared up at his lips, his hand gripping her wrist tightly, too tightly for an ordinary human. He was staring into her eyes and he leaned down. She closed her eyes, tilting her chin up and waiting for the feeling of his lips on hers. She had dreamt of it for some moons now and to know it was going to come true...her heart fluttered.
She felt his lips press against her forehead.
“I will not taint you,” Kirinmaru whispered against her skin. Towa’s eyes opened quickly as Kirinmaru pushed her away and twisted to leap into the air, the sun now dipping below the treeline of the mountains. She landed on her rear end with a surprised squeak at the impact.
She stared into the sky for what felt like ages before the words sank in.
Kirinmaru felt like a monster who did not deserve her love. She watched as he disappeared into the clouds and wondered if she had forced this image upon himself because she asked him to find peace, to reflect on Rion.
When she realized she was tearing the grass under her hands, her tears falling freely, she felt her father lift her up, carrying her inside from the garden.
She sobbed into her father’s neck as he carried her up to her room. She was much too old to be carried by him or to be tucked into her bedding with him sitting beside her and stroking her hair. He was exhausted and still came to care for her.
Her father was the most loving youkai, she decided. He loved her mother in ways she wished Kirinmaru would love her and he loved all his children unconditionally. Even sacrificing his time raising her and Setsuna in order to protect them from Zero. He was even tolerant of her tears.
“I declare war!” Tadaaki shouted from the doorway.
“No, come hold your sister,” Sesshomaru ordered softly.
Towa opened her eyes to see Tadaaki run to her and over their father’s legs. He tucked himself under Towa’s chin and pulled her arm around him. He held onto her and patted her back as far as he could reach.
“Towa, Papa and I are here,” Tadaaki told her quietly.
“T-thank you,” Towa sobbed as Tadaaki held her and her father stroked her hair, tucking loose locks from her bun behind her ear.
When Setsuna came in with Asahi she gave him over to their father and laid behind Towa, wrapping an arm around her waist. Their father leaving Towa in Setsuna’s care. Tadaaki was softly snoring, his breath soft and warm on Towa’s neck.
“He’s an idiot, I hope you know that,” Setsuna whispered, making Tadaaki’s ears twitch with the noise. Towa stroked Tadaaki’s ears before they flicked in annoyance. Setsuna sighed softly. “Don’t give up on him now. Not after he finally returned.”
“I had given him an ultimatum...he’s gone,” Towa said quietly.
“Perhaps you are the idiot here, Towa. He should’ve been treated like the deer we’ve hunted with mother. The approach must be delicate when approaching such creatures,” Setsuna said gently.
“I’ll get over it eventually. I was a foolish young woman,” Towa sighed out heavily.
“Towa,” Tadaaki hummed out.
Towa cupped his cheek as heavy eyelids opened to reveal soft amber eyes that stared up at her. “What is it, Tadaaki?”
“Stay with me, Setsuna, and Asahi forever,” he said and snuggled into her.
“He’s your biggest fan,” Setsuna laughed softly.
Towa smiled and stroked her brother’s dark hair. She didn’t make the promise, she couldn’t stay in the mountain palace forever. Setsuna seemed to sense that as she patted Towa’s arm and got up to go sleep in her room, leaving Towa with their brother.
She felt those tiny hands cling to her tightly through the layers of her silk kimono.
She would have to discuss things with her father and mother. But she planned to explore the world once more, maybe even make her way to visit her grandmother or her aunt and uncle even further off. Maybe she would travel to see the sea coast in the winter, just to see the differences between the covered land and the tumultuous waves keeping the seas mostly free of ice.
She was rejected and restless.
It was time for her to have a self-reflective journey of her own.