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The boy that he loves is dying.
Xu-laoshi looks tired and hallow-eyed. He has his elbows on the desk, fingers interlaced in his hair as he stares at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. He looks up delayedly, smiling tiredly at Chongyun.
“Ah, my boy. What is it? Is Xingqiu—” the worry in his face is apparent and Chongyun comes forward.
“I’ll marry him,” Chongyun cuts him off. Xu-laoshi blinks and Chongyun continues. “It’ll never work any other way. He’ll run if he’s feeling trapped and it won’t work — it wouldn’t work anyway if your clan thinks that love will break the curse because he’ll refuse to learn to love her.” Chongyun licks his lips. He’s not good with words the way Xingqiu is and he grows frustrated. “If it’s me, he’ll do it and at least I can be there with him. I’ll take care of him. I—”
“Sit down, A-Yun,” Xu-laoshi sighs and Chongyun does as said, his fists clenched tight at the fabric of his pants. “I need to think.”
Xu-laoshi takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose a few times. He looks so tired and broken down, his eyes staring at the paper until his eyes start to water. Xu-laoshi sobs and Chongyun is frozen. He never heard him cry before and it’s a distraught noise that breaks loose, no longer able to be held back. Chongyun moves — the chair knocks over as he rushes to Xu-laoshi’s side.
He places a hand on his back, feels the tremble of Xu-laoshi’s shoulders as he cries, the sobs quieter now, only breaking through otherwise silent crying. "I need to be with him. It needs to be me," Chongyun says gently, his voice shaking.
Xu quiets, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “It is not that I think my choice is best, but I worry not just for him,” Xu-laoshi meets Chongyun’s eyes. “I worry for you and what it will do to you.”
“I know he doesn’t love me the same way,” Chongyun starts, licking his lips and Xu’s face softens into pity. “But at least I know he loves me in a way that might be enough. At least for now. I’ll marry him, if you let me. I’ll be by his side the whole time, just the way his Da-Ge wanted. Please,” Chongyun begs.
“But what of your heart?”
“My heart…” he echoes, remembering it suddenly, the way it pounds in his chest. Chongyun smiles. “It is already his. It has always been.”
Xu-laoshi nods. “I was the same as you once with… no, I am the same as you, still.” Xu-laoshi looks grave, absentmindedly touching the delicate pendant of the Guhua he always wears on his breast pocket. He comes back to himself and reaches out, his dry hands hold Chongyun's wrist. “My dear boy, you have my blessing.”