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(not so) Gloomy

Summary:

Nandor finds out about Guillermo's vampire killing tendencies a little earlier.

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Nandor was considering a painting. Not actively painting himself, though he tried that a few hundred years ago and found he was rather good at it. (Especially once he had killed all the competition.)

This painting he was considering was one that had been up on the wall for a long, long time. At least five years, he thought. It wasn't anything beautiful, just a gloomy graveyard with a dark figure hanging out over one of the tombstones. While Nandor could appreciate the atmosphere it provided, it was a little too gloomy for his current tastes. Yesterday he had been eating, neck deep in a victim, when he glanced up to see the graveyard and thought, 'isn't that a bit too obvious?'.

So Nandor considered.

As he was deeply thinking, he heard the footsteps of his Familiar hurriedly racing towards him. Very good timing.

He turned to see Guillermo approaching him at an alarming speed, arms reached out… for an attack? Or a hug?

Either way, Nandor didn't want to be a part of it.

However, the second he tried to move out of the way, he was on the ground and pinned. He thought, 'what the fuck is this', then went to say it and found Guillermo's hand was on his mouth.

"Sorry, Master," Guillermo whispered. Nandor felt outrage and confusion rise within him, and moved his hand for an attack -

Ah. His hands were trapped tightly to his sides by Guillermo's unusually strong thighs. A hiss escaped him and his teeth scraped against Guillermo's hand. For a long moment the vampire considered biting him, but Guillermo did not even seem remotely concerned about it. In fact, the Familiar's eyes were darting around the room instead. Really quite rude, he had put in all the effort to launch a surprise attack on Nandor, and couldn't even be bothered to look at him!

Guillermo's eyes narrowed and suddenly Nandor was free again. On the other side of the room, there appeared to be some sort of struggle going on, and Nandor quickly stood up to see…

To see…

Was that a stake? In Guillermo's hand? Being driven into a vampire's heart?

Maybe the victim Nandor had drained last night had been on some sort of drugs… maybe the painting was truly fine after all! Nandor eagerly turned to it, excited that he wouldn't have to bother finding something to replace it with - !

It was still ugly. No matter how much Nandor tried to squint it into beauty, he couldn't.

"Master?" Guillermo called quietly, approaching Nandor's side. "Are you alright?"

"Guillermo. Is this painting bad?" Nandor asked, unable to take his eyes off it in his despair.

"Well, it is a little gloomy… wait, did you paint it?! I mean, uh, it's not gloomy at all! It's very… artistic?" Guillermo answered nervously.

"I didn't paint it," Nandor said, and finally turned to face Guillermo. The Familiar fidgeted under his heavy gaze. "Guillermo."

"Yes, Master?"

"Are you a vampire killer?" Nandor asked, searching his face.

"A little bit," Guillermo admitted, then quickly added, "Not on purpose, Master! Well, not until recently! And only to protect you and the others!"

"You poured holy water on me," Nandor realised.

"That was an accident!" Guillermo cried.

"You just pinned me to the floor!"

"To protect you! And if you really wanted, you could have turned into a mist and this would have all been fine!" Guillermo argued, hands clenched at his side with conviction.

Nandor huffed and held his silence for a moment. Then quietly added, "I can protect myself."

"I know, Master. B-But these guys are assassins, sent by the Vampiric Council! You'd get in a lot of trouble if you killed them! And, after the first few, it was quite easy for me to get rid of them..," Guillermo replied, relaxing a little. "Like really easy."

"There's no need to boast, Guillermo. I'm sure any of us could have killed them far easier than you," Nandor scolded. "Although, if it's really so easy… and they really are assassins… I suppose cleaning them up isn't too far outside of your normal duties."

"Really, Master?" Guillermo perked up. "Thank you!"

"We'll have to make sure the others don't find out, of course," Nandor warned.

Guillermo's eyes were watering. With the same unexpected speed he had earlier, he was on Nandor again, although this time in a hug. "Yes, Master!"

Nandor grimaced then awkwardly patted the Familiar's back. "You can let go now. We have important duties to get to!"

"Cleaning up the dead vampire?" Guillermo asked, finally separating. "I did actually want to ask, how -"

"No, Guillermo, the painting! That thing cannot reside on our walls any longer!" Nandor declared, turning on his heel. "I will go get another!"

"Yes, Master," came Guillermo's reply. Or Nandor assumed it did, since he was already far off down the hallway as a bat.

He might trust Guillermo with killing a few stray vampires, but picking out a painting? Better to do that himself!