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Y/N forced her weary eyes to open for the third time that night when the sound of her newborn daughter Alice’s cries pierced her eardrums. She sighed as she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, knowing that she had to get up to comfort the baby but her whole body just wouldn’t let her. Just as she started to get up, she felt the bed dip beside her.
“I got her,” her husband, Bruce said, his voice husky with sleep. He padded out of the master bedroom and down the hall, where she could hear him through the baby monitor.
Y/N stayed on her back as she listened to Bruce talk to Alice softly, calming her down immediately.
It had been a rough couple of weeks since Alice was born, on top of an already rough pregnancy and birth. Bruce and Y/N were completely blindsided by the pregnancy and didn’t expect to conceive without trying. Then came announcing it to the public. While the press was happy and congratulatory, the tabloids were ready to tear her apart for the slightest thing she did wrong.
“PREGNANT Y/N WAYNE WEARS DANGEROUSLY HIGH HEELS WHILE ON SHOPPING TRIP WITH GIRLFRIENDS - WHERE IS HER HUSBAND?”
While she did her best to ignore the tabloid headlines and the rats they employed as photographers, she couldn’t help but have a nagging feeling in the back of her head that she wasn’t fit to be a mother. She was either too put together or not put together enough, she couldn’t look at a cafe menu without being accused of fattening up her child before she was even born, and a single OBGYN appointment would have so-called journalists speculating that something was wrong.
Eventually, Y/N just stayed at home, only venturing out for her OBGYN appointments and choosing to give birth at home. She couldn’t hide from the press forever, though, especially when her stepsons forgot that she didn’t want to know what the press was saying about her. Alfred, Bruce, and the boys all assured her that she would be a wonderful mother, but the nagging persisted right up until it was time to give birth.
When Alice Martha Wayne came into the world, her father was immediately smitten, but Y/N still needed more time. The persistent nagging had gotten worse with each sleepless night, resulting in Y/N’s doctor diagnosing her with postpartum depression.
“I’m a terrible mother,” she’d sobbed into Bruce’s shirt when the diagnosis had come back.
“You’re not a terrible mother, Y/N,” he said as he stroked her hair. “Lots of women feel like you do when they have a baby.”
“That doesn’t help,” she said bluntly once her tears had stopped.
“Maybe not, but it’s more common than you think,” he said, drying her eyes gently with his thumbs while his palms cradled her face. “We’ll get through this together, okay? I’m not going to be an absent father to our daughter, and Alfred is here to help too.”
Y/N let out a shaky exhale and give Bruce a watery smile, just in time for the baby to start crying again.
Even after that conversation, Y/N didn’t feel any better. Her tears were gone and she was just left numb instead.
What kind of mother can’t get her own baby to sleep through the night? The nagging voice said in the back of her head, prompting fresh tears to sting her eyes. She brought her hands up to stop them, but they spilt down her cheeks anyway as small sobs racked her body.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” a deep voice asked her.
She tried to dry her eyes and sat up to see Bruce standing at the foot of the bed, Alice cradled in his arms as he fed her from a bottle.
“Nothing,” Y/N said, her voice quivering. “It’s stupid.”
“It’s getting bad again, isn’t it?” he asked her gently as he sat down on the bed next to her.
“Yeah,” she said meekly, trying to stop herself from sobbing.
“Tell me what’s going through your mind.”
“I’m just worried that I’ll hate her and neglect her and then years down the line she’ll end up hating me because I’m so bad at being a parent.”
“Y/N, I told you before, you’re not a bad parent, you’re just not feeling well right now. You’ll get the hang of it because I know you love her, and she’ll love you.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so, honey. We both love you,” Bruce said as he took the bottle from Alice and sat her upright to burp her, rubbing her back in little circles. “You want to hold her now?”
Y/N nodded and took the baby from him, lying her head in the crook of her elbow and rocking her slowly.
“She looks like you, you know,” she said with a smile.
“No, she looks more like you,” Bruce said as he looked down at Alice.
“She has your eyes though,” Y/N said. Alice opened her bright blue eyes on cue. “See? She has your hair colour too, so now we have an army of children with blue eyes and black hair.”
“I’m sure she’ll be as beautiful as you when she grows up,” Bruce said before kissing Y/N tenderly on her chapped lips.
“And I’m sure she’ll be a total daddy’s girl in a couple of years from now if you don’t stop spoiling her.”
“Dads are supposed to spoil their daughters, it’s the universal rule. She’s probably the only blood daughter I’ll have so I can spoil her as much as I want.”
Alice gave a soft yawn before settling back into sleep, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath.
“I did it! I got her to sleep!” Y/N said, trying to keep her voice low. Bruce gave her shoulders a soft squeeze before kissing her tenderly on her temple.
“We should put her back in her crib before she wakes up again, you can’t sleep with her in your arms all night,” Bruce whispered.
“No, but I like holding her,” Y/N said before kissing Alice’s tiny nose gently.
“See, I told you you’d get the hang of it.” He smiled at her softly before helping Y/N to her feet and leading her to the nursery where she gently placed the baby in the crib.
“Come on, Mommy,” Bruce said as he gathered Y/N into his arms and carried her back to their bedroom. “I think you need some sleep the most out of all of us.”
Y/N could already feel herself drifting off in her husband’s arms, her eyes heavy and threatening to close.
“Okay, but I’ll get her if she wakes up again,” she said through a yawn as he placed her back on the bed and pulled the sheets over her tired body.
“I think we should let Alfred get her next time,” he said as he joined her under the covers and pulled her back into him.