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heavy is the darkness on people used to the light. suffocating is the darkness on the souls used to the luminous. blinding is the darkness on the eyes of those used to the shine and glimmer. yet, weightless is the darkness on people appreciative of the light. freeing is the darkness on the souls thankful for a shimmer. illuminating is the darkness on the eyes of those pleased with only one ray of a sparkle.
while love is a story transported from one mouth to another as a set of beautiful words and elegant accents in the roll of tongues while they described the feelings, jacob only ever saw the darkness beyond the lips of the speakers. the only light, shine, he ever saw was that of hyunjae’s as he read the innocent fairytales for the kids every thursday in the castle’s backyard.
jacob usually purposely neglected the backyard on wednesdays, aiming for the one-hour work it needed to be added into the thursday cleaning of the area. hyunjae did not spend more than three hours narrating stories about princes and princesses for the noblest kids in the kingdom, but the discussions after the narrations always dragged on; questions from one of the girls and a comment from another boy, sometimes maybe a scene acted out and a dance taught between the small group.
as noble and smart as the kids were, innocence was adorning them, lifting them out of the way of two grown men’s gazes and glances. maybe hyunjae would notice sometimes, but out of the nine children, no one ever saw the ‘garden uncle’ react to the stories that danced their plots and scenes into their ears and brains. they would be too immersed in the way the princess blushed when the prince asked her to dance, or in the way the prince fought on his horse to get to his princess in the tower.
yet, the clouds splattered across the blue sky above them and the wind along with its rhythms that shake the branches and leaves, were never naïve to the way jacob’s fingers snapped harsher as he cleaned out the trees and bushes. the smooth green grass covering the ground was always a still victim of jacob’s rough toss of his pruner before he snatched away the hose and tugged it along with him to water the trees along the fence of the private backyard.
more than once, jacob had heard one girl say how he resembled the story’s prince and he always returned her smile with a wider one of his. one was brave enough, or maybe childish and dumb enough, to move to him and do the forbidden. she was one careless little thing who took off his dirty gardening gloves and pulled him with her to the sitting area, to her group of wealthy friends and the prosperous prince. the girl pushed him to the middle of the circle and had strength to pull the prince up, her hand on his back as she drove him towards the mere gardener.
respect never needed sweet feelings or soft eyes to be given. with eyes emotionlessly dark and a face neutrally straight, jacob looked back at the beauty of the prince who stood in front of him. even if jacob was aware that the shining eyes only held harmless hope and pure excitement as they watched a picture of the majestic prince stand one foot away from the low servant, he was also aware of the sophisticated transparent eyes that follow him everywhere.
while the prince’s smile was starting to tug his lips upwards, jacob’s lips pressed together tighter, an eyebrow raising upwards ever so slightly in a warning. however, being himself, the prince cared about no warnings, a gentle smile and a little bow of his head greeted the man in front of him. his voice was confident as a prince’s should be but his words were soft as a friend’s, “the young lady is not aware of your duties and responsibilities that are to be done on time. you shall get back to your work, now.”
jacob did not expect a warm hand to engulf his nor did he want the same soft hand to be locked in his flawed one. the servant, gardener, lower man, jacob did not expect the aristocratic prince to follow the little girl’s urges on performing the love confession he just read for them from the papers of the book. before getting too lost in his endless thoughts, jacob bowed down properly in front of his prince and replied with a small voice a formal agreement and a polite excuse before going back to his work.
at moments like that, jacob hated having a sense of attention and protectiveness around himself. he absolutely despised the way he could feel a heavy gaze watching his muscular, slightly hunched back as he put on his gloves again and resumed his business. he resented the way his body alarmed him at the glances hyunjae sent his way as he moved around to pack up his gardening tools after he finished his chores.
when jacob had first got into the castle lands, he was a little sixteen-year-old that had been raised by farmers as his family and teachers who taught him gardening in whatever professionalism they knew about. but at the age of seventeen, as jacob grew up a year in the castle, his eyes had opened up to what gardens had beyond them.
he had started making his way into the kitchen and sparked up interest in the maid’s and chef’s cooking skills and table settings. lunch time after another that jacob spent watching spoons of salt go into the pot of boiling sauce and napkins get folded neatly and placed over the silver plates, the sunshine outside started getting dull in his eyes in front of the shine of the clean silver inside.
a whisper had run around about how his greed was raising but it was gone in the wind whenever he flashed one of his soft, sweet smiles and stood to the side, his voice gentle and a tune of heaven as he said that he will watch from the corner because he finished his chores outside and that the atmosphere in the kitchen reminds him of his mother back home. their voices remained in ghosts around his head every night ever since he heard them and no sleep or distractions would push them away.
maybe it had really been greed that made him ask one of the cooks if he could try a recipe he knew after a few months of lurking around the kitchen, getting acquainted with everyone and everything in the space. or maybe it had been the idea of him being greedy that he spent moons thinking about that really made him do it. either way, his dish was served as a new sweet flavor with the common desserts usually served after dinner.
as attentive as royals could ever be, the king asked about the new small plates a few days after they have been served. jacob was brought from the kitchen at the request and the king gave him humble praise for the delicious cream enveloped in the cakes he had made. the new, amateur cook had presented a polite and grateful bow, his back down and head low as his words of thankfulness filled up the pleased dining area.
his dark orbs swung around the table for a split second before jacob was on his way out of the hall, back to his newly added work place between the sinks and counters. others would have scoffed and whined about an extra chore handed to them, but the ideas of his noon getting filled up with a delightful duty made jacob more excited.
truthfully, he had felt bored and useless as he would finish his gardening works by mid-day. as yards and gardens surrounded the castle from all its sides, jacob had more than one co-gardener. with each of them in his designed area, they all could finish their work quickly and frequently easily. it was not easy, at all, but it was not difficult when their fingers work the prunes every day and the watering cans are never empty from the liquid inside of them.
so, with his motivation for making the sweet delight better and offer new recipes every other month, jacob had been more than happy to wake up with the sunrise and work under its torching heat in the green areas before sneaking a quick shower and heading to the kitchen. from small cakes filled with honey cream, jacob experimented with tarts and then pies and he was able to earn the honor of having his eclairs served when the noblest dukes with their spouses and kids were invited into the ballroom of the castle.
jacob’s elbows were pressed on the counter for the longer part of the small party – if it could be called that. his eyes big and brown but differently to how they usually glint with pure enthusiasm whenever he used to see golden chains around the wealthy’s necks and the silk under the heavy robes of the mighty. they had been like that of a hawk’s, dangerously big and attentive and darker than the brown of the woods he had chopped in the morning.
his pupils moved around the hall, following the steps of the younger prince. after jacob had turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago, the maids in the kitchen were gossiping about how the king was yet again scolding his younger son, deeming him worthless of a king’s position. he heard the pity in the ladies’ voices as they talked about how the prince would never be able to take over the kingdom because he had a heart, unlike his older brother and father.
unlike the ruler and soon-to-be ruler, jacob had already known that hyunjae’s chances of taking over were as little as stars in the daylight. they didn’t need to speak to each other for jacob to know.
the cook and gardener could know all of that from the way hyunjae’s eyes were wrinkly on the edges whenever his smile was toothy and wide. jacob could know from the way hyunjae greets the servants back with a small smile and a slight bow of his head instead of passing by them with loud stomps and cloudy eyes. hell, jacob could even know all of this from the way hyunjae’s gaze lingers on him whenever he serves the desserts every dinner and even when hyunjae would be walking around and slow down to subtly watch over jacob working.
“between the heart and the mind, ruling a kingdom needs only one. if you can’t give up your heart, you cannot rule a kingdom.” jacob once had overheard the king spit at his younger son before dismissing him. he knew of that fact but hearing it being lectured and used as a way to shame someone for wanting kindness poured oil over jacob’s gears and made them turn faster.
yet, as he watched hyunjae smile and chatter around with dukes’ sons and bow to kiss wives’ hands, jacob could only imagine how suiting the slim brunet would be sitting on the throne with everyone bowing down to him. sure, these thoughts could have been mere imaginations of how an eighteen-year-old makes his person of interest seem but the drive in jacob would never slow down or halt to a stop.
holding onto his self-control, jacob had pushed himself back from the counter and left away to the servants’ quarters. his chest rose and fell heavily and his lips trembled along with his fingers from the anger he had provoked by himself.
it was not his business to be angry about mistreatment between the king and his son, especially not when he had never had as much as a conversation with said son. as jacob laid on his back in the cramped room, his hand under his head and his eyes fixed on the ceiling, he thought of the prince yet again but in another light.
he was not the brightest of people but he cannot be mistaken with the way hyunjae’s glances and lingering stares had silent invitations for him to interact. maybe the prince wanted to have a conversation or ask about a chore done, but jacob never gave in to the attention as to not let his heart roar in feelings unwanted. even earlier, when the prince had a hundred of bodies around him, each richer than the other, their eyes still met. hyunjae’s sparkling hazel locked with jacob’s burnt brown, for a second or maybe less, twice or maybe thrice.
jacob clicked his tongue and turned to his side, his eyes shutting tightly and his breath evening out as he lulled himself to sleep. with more scenes of the prince smiling and dancing around playfully with a child in the ball, jacob’s heart was lighter and his head was less busy.
it had taken jacob a while to bring up the topic of a new recipe for the head cook. after all, his eclairs were fresh on his menu and there was no way suspicion wouldn’t rise if he asks to try something new. but five weeks after the ball, jacob’s saccharine words of faux desire to make his king happier with a new sweet on the table convinced his superior to let him into the common library in a hunt for a cooking book.
the common library was a whole sect in the far back part in the depth of the castle. a wide hall that had an exit and an entry mainly from the backyard – where hyunjae tells the stories for the kids – rather than the inside of the castle. jacob only learned of hyunjae’s narrations when he went to search for a cooking book. he had heard a melodic voice talk and change tones between lines of conversations that only belonged in the magical fairytales the better kids grew up with.
his search had been more of a hunt for books that had more pages and instructions. books that held recipes in details and long sentences with proper grammar and all the alphabets included. jacob never had the chance to learn beyond the alphabets and how to spell his name. he had learned to write by himself, thus his askew handwriting and improper grammar and letter shapes most of the time. yet, practice makes perfect and jacob was never tardy or late for his daily self-lessons at the library.
once his desserts are done and sitting on the silver plates, jacob would find himself voicing out his farewells and excusing himself to leave as his job was done. the cooking book rows of the library soon hiding his body as he flipped through the pages one after another, reading a sentence here and there, learning a new sentence structure and mispronouncing a word he had never seen or heard before. after a few weeks have passed of his new routine, with a dozen of new verbs and vocabularies learned, jacob started sneaking himself into other parts of the library.
his hands had first found the language book of middle schoolers and he opened it, his eyes darting over the words as he voiced them out in his mind silently. he turned the page, his shoulder leaning against the shelf as one of his hands spread out on the back of the book, holding it up. his feet crossed over each other, the tip of his shoe pressed right by the side of his other as he let out a sigh. jacob's finger moved slowly under the words as he read them and paused at one of the longer nouns. his tongue rolled quietly in his mouth before he dared to speak it out, "va-hee-kel."
his tongue clicked before a groan rose from his chest, his form straightening up as he was ready to slam the book shut. but the pages didn’t meet, a hand from behind him, silky and flawless, pushed the book open again. for a second, jacob felt the world stop. he would be doomed and faced with consequences if anyone was to send word about how a low servant was trying to become someone educated. someone of matter and importance other than a slave with little liberty.
however, the voice behind him was nothing but soothing to jacob’s nerves, "vi-ya-kel." jacob didn’t move his body nor his lips to reply, hyunjae's chest was almost pressed firmly against his back but both boys were smart enough not to touch. "the vehicle was of a charcoal black." hyunjae read the sentence for him, pronouncing every syllable clearly and properly. jacob didn’t turn around to face him and hyunjae didn’t step forward to face jacob either. hyunjae’s finger moved under the words, much like jacob’s earlier, as he read the paragraph slowly.
once the page was read out loud, read quietly between the boys and the books, jacob closed the book and returned it to its place, no word leaving his lips.
as he was ready to leave, the same voice stopped him, an order of sort, "it is rude to leave like that. people who get educated learn manners first, pronunciations second." jacob wanted to scoff, to turn and tell the prince that no one asked for his help in pronouncing the word but he knew better than to let out nasty comments in return of the aid. jacob spun on his heels, bowing down and saying thank you in the most mannered way he ever learned.
as he stood back up again, hyunjae was standing straight and tall, taller than him and farther from him, too. a smile as gentle as ever, as usual as ever, on his lips as he nodded and held his hand out to motion for jacob to leave. and jacob had done just that. he had cursed himself for not dragging out the conversation like he always wanted to and for not returning the prince's smile but what's in the past is done, nothing to change.
getting caught should have made jacob put a stop to the routine unusual to his alike, but it didn’t. somehow, unconsciously in the back of his mind, jacob had made sure to never skip a day in the library. hyunjae didn’t appear every day but it was close to that.
years sound long and far, but the two years that jacob had spent in the library were nothing but short and close as he was nothing less than a master at writing and reading. his speaking, too. jacob's words had been finding a better ring, a sweeter adjective and a more delicate comment to give to the king along with his never-ending recipes. they were also sharper away from the king, when every rumor that travelled and every shade the went on him was met with a snarky reply, sometimes a bold threat that he was ready to act upon.
in the same two years that jacob had delivered six new desserts through, he had accomplished many things for himself.
first of them was the gardening work that was limited to five days per week, the kitchen staff holding him captive in their presence every weekend as he taught them the recipes properly and helped them bake and design with fruits and whipped cream. he frankly enjoyed it. most of his 'students' teenage girls who were either enamored by his professional skills and attractive personality, willing to do whatever he asked them to.
it had made him feel power he never knew he could possess. even though it was something that could pass as nothing to many people around, the fact that he was obeyed by a young lady made his head spin in ways it should never.
jacob had almost thought of it as a joke, when he had told her that if she really did like him so much as she had claimed, she would do anything for him. she had said yes. and she had broken the cup he asked her to break and had spilt the tea he asked her to spill. and after all of that, she came back to him with eagerness in her eyes and a teasing tone when her hands pressed on his shoulder, her voice high-pitched when she told him she would do anything else he would ask of her.
his smile remained sweet facing her, his hands never curling around her hips even when he held her to push her away from him. his voice was low and cold as he reminded her of her position with him, how she wasn’t anything he would ever want or even think about.
besides that, the power and authority that he had gained in the public of the castle's third-class people, the ones he was part of a year and two ago, jacob kept to himself the private triumph he got the second year.
when hyunjae had first appeared behind him and pronounced out the word, jacob only had hope of developing their almost non-existent relationship. but when hyunjae appeared again and again and helped him learn more and more, providing limitless education of whatever he himself had, jacob's hopes became determinations and motivations for him to move forward. a year of secret meetings between shelves covered with books of every kind, the two boys found themselves delving into each other further each day whether in the dark shades of the library or the light openness outside where hyunjae narrated the stories for the kids.
jacob had drowned in the way hyunjae started to tell him small anecdotes every now and then when jacob started getting better, barely needing any help anymore with pronunciations. maybe sometimes hyunjae would explain words and how they had different meanings as they fell into different sentences, but that was mainly it after a while. jacob felt it, too. the way hyunjae's eyes had a small quiver when jacob read around ten pages flawlessly.
hyunjae had been happy for him, proud of him as he had always said, but jacob knew that hyunjae was thinking of ways to keep jacob coming to him for help in his studies at least. hyunjae didn’t want to lose connection, familiarity with a person who never faked his respect or sugar-coated his praises for the prince. hyunjae didn’t want to miss the way jacob frankly was interested in his little stories and his innocent feelings and thoughts.
and truth be told, jacob never had any intentions of straying away from hyunjae’s side even when the teaching was not necessary anymore.
they weren’t dating or in a relationship but both of them knew that the only reason confessions were absent was because the labelling was scary. frightening, even, when they thought about the reality that brought them together. because even if jacob now could read fluently and enter the kitchen as a superior, hyunjae was his prince.
hyunjae was still his prince, now after jacob had turned twenty. hyunjae was still the one who sat on the right side of the long table in the dining hall, body covered in white and red silk with golden accessories adorning parts here and there over the fabric. hyunjae was still the highness that jacob bowed down to as he served the sweets and wished him a delightful after-meal. even after jacob was done serving and went on his way to the library, hyunjae was still the untouchable one that had lives protecting his and hearts aching for his.
and even with hyunjae still all of that, jacob's room, that was closed in the end of the long hallway of the servants' chambers, was always welcoming him when even the moon couldn’t shed light on the ever-called mistakes. but either way, when the innocent heat got too much in the small room and the rustling was too loud in the sheets when they laid side by side, jacob was mad and angry at the reminder that he will have to fall asleep alone in a cold bed and silence.
because even with hyunjae being the young prince, sitting on the right side of the long table in the dining hall, body covered in white and red silk with golden accessories adorning parts here and there over the fabric, an untouchable man that was adored and sought after, hyunjae was still so much more to jacob.
hyunjae was the boy who, on a spring day after they got acquainted enough, had accompanied jacob on an afternoon walk in the woods by the castle. nothing was in their minds as jacob marched first out of the library and then into the woods, hyunjae spending a few minutes before walking out as well, trying his best to be sly in his stalking of jacob. yet, hyunjae was still a stranger between the height of the trees as he walked carefully between them.
jacob had watched him from the side, looking over hyunjae as the prince was hesitant in his steps through the dirty ground before reaching an empty space, a round area void of trees yet full of grass and a flower here and there. jacob crossed his arms over his chest before he stomped to reach hyunjae’s side, looking at the patch of green in front of them.
he took a glance at hyunjae before his feet were pushing the greens down into the soil, his body walking in to reach the opposite part where he plopped himself down. his back rested against the thick trunk of a tree and his legs laid in front of him. jacob did not ask hyunjae to do anything. earlier in the library, hyunjae had asked him about his plans after they part ways and jacob had only answered with the truth. hyunjae invited himself, jacob not refusing. the prince walked his way to reach the seated boy, his body visibly slowly resting and relaxing into the nature he was in.
jacob had expected hyunjae’s hands to rest on parts of his body, his arms or thighs, and maybe have his head lean on jacob’s shoulder as they sat down away from everyone and everything. after all, hyunjae had been pressing a little closer into jacob’s side whenever they read and his hands sometimes moved up to touch jacob’s hair or fix his worn-out shirt. jacob expected hyunjae to finally touch him after weeks, months even, of blocked desires and rejected wishes that were showed more than told. but hyunjae didn’t sit beside him nor did he lay his head on jacob’s shoulder.
hyunjae had walked with his legs wide open, caging jacob’s legs between his feet with every step he took towards the boy himself. jacob stayed calm despite the closeness, his head tilted back, hitting the wood as he watched hyunjae look back down at him. the prince was soon eye level with him, his knees pressed on each side of jacob’s hips as he sat down in his lap.
jacob didn’t move, couldn’t even move his eyes away from hyunjae’s but once he noticed the other’s tongue wet his lips in a lick, jacob’s hands were gripping tightly on the slim waist under the heavy outer robe. the silk crumbled under his touch but hyunjae only pressed further, chests against each other and his hands fitting themselves into jacob’s messy, thick hair.
jacob opened his mouth to speak, ask what was happening, but hyunjae’s head was tilted to the side and their faces were only getting closer to each other. hyunjae scanned jacob’s face closely, the tips of his fingers tracing over the small acne on jacob’s jaw and then the smooth skin of his cheeks, dipping in the shades of his nose.
the same hand moved down to trace jacob’s lips, then rest under his chin while hyunjae’s thumb tugged his bottom lip down. meanwhile, jacob only swam deeper into the ocean of the prince's flawless and endless beauty. his pale skin and rosy lips, hazel eyes and sharp jawline all pulled jacob into them. all pulled jacob’s lips in to find home in a pair similar to them. yet, home was farther than it seemed.
hyunjae’s head had tilted back once jacob surged in. his lips pressed on the skin of hyunjae’s throat and hyunjae’s hands were both nestled in his hair again. he didn’t let jacob pull back, hyunjae’s body moved closer, pressed tighter against jacob’s as he rolled his head around, his eyes closed and lips parted in a silent relief of finally having a feeling of jacob against him.
jacob had understood the wordless actions. he had understood that they couldn’t start having a proper taste of each other or else hell would break loose. they wouldn’t be able to stay away from each other and the time they could spend hidden in the woods wouldn’t be enough to fill their cup of desire. so, jacob had made sure to let his lips wander around the column of hyunjae’s neck, kissing every inch of skin he could reach up to his chin and cheeks, avoiding his lips.
maybe three minutes later, hyunjae was almost standing on his knees as jacob hugged his waist and his lips were pushing away at the silky hem to reach his shoulder and collarbone. a small whimper of a plea and a second of a shivering body in his grasp as jacob bit down on the skin just slightly, made him move back and let his back rest against the tree again, his eyes closed and arms lose on their hold.
hyunjae was also still the boy that even when they didn’t kiss, the tension between them in their library meet ups had been stronger than ever. hyunjae wasn’t too bold, but neither was jacob. still, jacob was braver, even when hyunjae was needier. somehow, hyunjae’s hidden needs were met completely with jacob’s courage of acting upon them. not too bold, yet again, but still something.
they hadn't directly kissed the week after their little thing in the woods, but two weeks later, jacob had pressed hyunjae against the shelves when he made sure that no one was in the library with them. jacob had caged him in his arms and handed him the book, telling – ironically ordering – hyunjae to continue reading as he watched his lips part and purse, eyes and hands shake from anxiety of being trapped in jacob’s rather safe arms.
jacob had suddenly pulled the book out of hyunjae’s hands and let it drop on the floor. he clicked his tongue when hyunjae gasped and looked at him with wide eyes, his hand cupping hyunjae’s jaw and lifting his head up to look at him instead of the discarded book, "is it more interesting than me that you gave it your attention?" jacob’s question didn’t need an answer when hyunjae’s hands were fisting his shirt and pulling him closer, his head shaking from side to side in an answer nonetheless.
"not at all." hyunjae mumbled as he attempted to stand straight, taller than jacob. jacob smiled at him, like a sinister and a crazy man but hyunjae found peace and safety in it. in the way jacob’s eyes got darker and his lips pressed together again, his hand squeezed hyunjae’s jaw just a little harsher as they stared at each other heatedly. "you want to kiss me?" hyunjae questioned quietly, his voice carrying a tone of want rather than competition. jacob hummed and chuckled, humoring him with a light tone, "doesn’t everyone want a kiss with the prince?"
hyunjae smiled at that, eyes sinking back in his face and wrinkling at the edges as he shrugged, playing with a loose string on jacob’s hem. "so, why aren’t you kissing me, yet?" his finger was trailing down jacob’s chest as his words dragged on purposely. hyunjae’s cheek got caught in a pinch between jacob’s thumb and hand, a gasp leaving his lips as his back pushed slightly from the shelf, his hands quickly going around to press against jacob’s back and pull his body against his.
"don’t manners teach you not to be impatient? have some patience, your highness." jacob stepped back from hyunjae at the honorific, bowing with a smirk once he was up again. hyunjae was confused, but jacob had only leaned down to pick the book up and let it sit in its place on the shelf again before leaving to his room. hyunjae was left behind panting and almost dizzy, a whine bubbling in his chest at the frustration he felt from being denied over and over again. he was the prince, why was jacob refusing to do anything more with him?
in the week that had followed, jacob and hyunjae were only able to meet up twice in the library. both equally busy and their schedules not aligning with each other. it bought jacob some time, though, to get his hands on the keys of the cottage that was rarely used in the forest that was on the castle’s east. maybe it had taken him a fake interest in the girl’s dress and a lying compliment about her hair, but he got a true promise of her handing him the key in two days.
jacob got the key but timing maybe was never really on his side. hyunjae’s eyes landed on him right after he pocketed the key and his hand rubbed over the young maid’s hip as a thank you. when jacob never saw the girl hanging up the laundry outside or sweeping the floors inside, it didn’t need much brilliance for him to realize that hyunjae had made sure she would never step into the castle grounds anymore.
the night after, as jacob was setting the book aside, the prince walked into the library, making his way naturally to the only person in there. jacob glanced at him, neutral expressions that shifted only a bit to shoot a smile at the new company. “weren’t you a bit harsh? was the firing necessary?” hyunjae frowned at the undesired greeting, his steps stopping right in front of the other man. “weren’t you harsh? riling me up, giving me hope, then going and touching her like that where everyone could see?”
jacob chuckled and moved close enough to hold hyunjae’s chin between his fingers. jacob’s hand slowly rolled hyunjae’s face around, a smile on his lips as he took in the prince’s appearance after a few days of being apart. “you look gorgeous, today, lovely.” hyunjae scoffed and pushed jacob’s hand away, his frown wrinkling his forehead even more than before. “oh, right. a little birdie was able to bring me a key to one of the cottages around. once the king is off south tomorrow, maybe we could go and spend a night there.”
regret started to fill up hyunjae’s system at the indirect confession of the girl’s doings, but it was soon pushed away and his hand moved to grab jacob’s bicep, pulling him back. “how do you know he is leaving tomorrow, jacob?” jacob looked at hyunjae’s grip on him then up at his face, hyunjae’s hand directly dropping away from him. “i have my ways, sweetheart. get yourself ready for tomorrow. i will see you there as the moon rises.”
many thoughts raced through hyunjae’s mind at the events that were in front of him and the ones that were happening behind his back. no one besides the princes, king’s advisor and the king himself knew of the letter that invited the king south, so how did jacob know? something remained unsettling in hyunjae’s stomach, making it flip and twist in an uncomfortable way the whole night.
as he arrived at the previously mentioned cottage the next night, jacob was already sitting on the couch in the main area inside. a knife was twirling between his fingers, its handle hitting against jacob’s palm as his fingers held onto it while the knife moved back and forth. his head tilted to the side once he heard the door shut and a smile was on his face, a smile that hyunjae misses the genuinity and excitement that radiated from it every now and then.
they greeted each other as lovers do. jacob got up slowly, lazily almost, and hyunjae took long strides towards him. the first thing the prince did was nudge the knife away from jacob’s hand before he grabbed his hands, moving them to rest on his body. hyunjae’s hands left jacob’s only to grab his face gently, pulling him closer for a kiss. pull him closer for their first proper kiss that wouldn’t be rushed or quick. a firm press of lips against each other and a small peck at the end before hyunjae was pushing jacob onto the couch again, making him bounce slightly from the impact.
“did you send him the letter to drive him away?” jacob’s eyebrows rose, a small chuckle sounding from his chest. “and if i did?” hyunjae wanted to laugh, an unbelievable sound to come out of his slim body at the methods jacob was using to buy them time together. first swooning an innocent girl and then faking a letter for the king to go to the farthest part of their kingdom. “and what? was this knife now also a hint that you would get him killed for us to spend more time together?”
jacob sat up properly on the couch, his head to the side and his face emotionless as he stared at hyunjae ramble on as if accusing jacob of crimes. jacob’s arm rested on the back of the couch and hyunjae took one step backwards, “if nothing i planned for works, then, sure. i would kill him and twenty more of him to spend an extra hour with you, no one bothering us. like now. like how it could be every night, soon.”
hyunjae’s foot found the knife’s tip and he kicked it away, sending it towards the door before he moved between jacob’s legs after nudging his knees apart. hyunjae’s hands rested on the couch’s back, behind jacob’s shoulders as their faces aligned together. “and if i don’t want to spend them with you? will you kill me, too?” jacob stared back at hyunjae seriously, his expressions never changing once throughout their conversation.
“when i mentioned that i get obsessive and that if i can’t have what i want then no one else can have it, i didn’t really lie, lee jaehyun.” hyunjae smiled at the use of his full, official name. hyunjae’s smiles were never wicked, but this one was different. the devil was controlling him at the moment, pushing words from his mouth and actions from his body, “i never cleaned blood off hands before. i’m not sure i can do it for you.”
jacob chuckled and suddenly, hyunjae found himself pressed into the couch as jacob’s body was hovering over him, his rough fingers undoing his royal robes and pushing them aside, ridding hyunjae of what made him obviously look different - better and higher - than jacob and anyone else. “don’t worry about that. my plans are already working since you are here. the king will be back with a suitable assistant for you that was complimented in the south and through his journey.” there was no need to elaborate as jacob had spent the last few months telling the prince about his good reputation in his southern homelands.
hyunjae’s giggles were uncontrollable, coming out for long seconds and a little bit louder than someone normally would let them be. jacob basked in that craziness for a minute before his lips were trailing along the blank canva exposed for him. jacob also basked in the way he was the first, and made his mind to be the last, to ever see hyunjae like this; bare and inviting for jacob’s kisses and touches, jacob’s intimacy in all its forms and ways.
their first time wasn’t magical or perfect, but it was a first time between lovers who had waited months, a little more than a year, to get a decent and appropriate touch of each other. it felt awkward at one point or another and they were both obviously inexperienced but they had a joy in experimenting with each other. as lacking as it was, both boys enjoyed themselves to the fullest. the pleasure was in their veins the whole night and even the morning, their bodies painted with each other’s marks and prints.
and when the dining table was set after everyone was in the castle again, hyunjae took a seat before anyone else was in the hall in order to avoid any questioning looks of his little limp that accompanied his steps. when jacob would usually leave after serving his pastries, a call of his official name rang in the quiet hall. heads shot towards the cook, gardener, servant jacob that replied to the call.
the royals around the table and the guards in the corners almost choked on their breaths as the king talked calmly about jacob, or rather about joonyoung, packing up his things from his room and moving into the higher wards as he was to become the young prince’s personal assistant. jacob was as good as ever in the way he showed endless gratitude for the honor of being promoted up to such a rank. the king, seemingly a little unhappy, only nodded and looked between his younger son and his new assistant.
hyunjae nodded and bowed for his father before he got up and followed his new assistant, a kind of old lover, on his way out. maids helped jacob move his one bag of luggage to the bigger room that was by the prince’s chamber.
some people gossiped how something was fishy and unreasonable but none of the two paid attention to it. and even if one of them had words stuck in his head for longer than necessary, whenever they fell in bed together secretly every night after the moon sat in the middle of the sky, nothing else would matter. no words or comments or opinions ever mattered in moments like that.
nothing but them and their feelings, future and dreams mattered as jacob hugged hyunjae from behind or when hyunjae rested his head on jacob’s chest, jacob playing with his hair to lull him to sleep. “i thought your plans involved me becoming the king.” hyunjae whispered quietly, jokingly, from between the sheets and jacob’s muscular chest. jacob smiled and moved hyunjae’s hair away from his face, “if that’s what you wish for, your wish is my command.”
hyunjae laughed quietly to himself and shook his head, lifting himself on his elbow to press his lips against jacob’s. “nevermind. i shall remain a prince in the kingdom, less duties and all that. i can be your king, though.” jacob smiled and nodded, sinking down from his seated position against the headboard of hyunjae’s wide bed to lay on his back.
hyunjae traced his finger over jacob’s chest, where his head had been resting moments ago, “do you think someone knows?” jacob’s eyes trailed up from hyunjae’s purple and red marks over his hip to the fading pink on his still flushed chest before meeting his soft eyes, “some probably do. do you want others to know?” jacob leaned up to press his lips against hyunjae’s jaw at the question.
the prince grinned and giggled, jacob’s lips tickling him over his sensitive spots more than anything else. hyunjae pushed jacob on his back again and leaned down to leave a peck on his lips, humming with a shake of his head, “let them be, i guess. what we have now is enough, no need to be super popular in love stories around the castle.” jacob hummed teasingly, poking at hyunjae’s side, “don’t want the kids to hear our love story? maybe the little girl would pull me in the middle to copy the confession with you again. this time maybe i would actually ask you for the dance in front of them all. give them a show to remember when they grow up.”