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“Just a few more moments, Captain.” Scotty had told them. Jim growled as he adjusted his grip on Spock. The native fauna had not taken kindly to the away team that had beamed down to explore the surface. The group of eight of them quickly split up, Jim’s orders for an immediate beam-up of the crew while he and Spock distracted the large rodent that had greeted them upon re-materialization.
The creature has disappeared, but not before leaving Spock and Jim with a few gnashes and tattered clothing. The cut on Spock’s face was superficial and easily treatable with a derma regenerator. Scotty’s voice crackled through once more, “We’re retrieving the last of the crew, Captain. The power couplings are still on the mend from our last run in with the Klingons so it’ll be a moment before we can beam you and the Commander aboard.” Jim took a deep breath as Spock leaned against a nearby tree, his arm held gingerly against his chest as a grimace overtook his features.
“Commander Spock and I can hold for a few.” Jim replied, “We seem to have lost that giant rat, for now. Make it quick though, Mr. Scott. I don’t feel like being lunch.” He allowed himself to chuckle, “Have Doctor McCoy ready, Spock’s got some injuries.” he added in.
“Aye, Captain. The good doctor is already here grumbling away.” Scotty replied.
“Wouldn’t want him any other way. Kirk Out.” Jim replied, pressing his comm and turning his attention back to Spock. “Let me see your arm.” He asked, his voice gentle as he held out his hand. Spock looked at him with a puzzled expression but wordlessly held out his arm.
“It doesn’t look too bad.” Jim observed, running his hands around the wound and examining the skin, “Let me get it wrapped while we wait.” he reached into his away bag and pulled out a roll of gauze. “It’s superficial at best, but it looks like it just barely nicked your brachial artery. I know Vulcan’s have some differences in arteries but they’re designed to be smaller than humans…” He trailed off, and Spock couldn’t help but be impressed by his knowledge. “It’s not as scary as it looks.” he continued, wiping what dried blood he could. When he first noticed it he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with how drenched Spock’s shirt was. “It should be better by tomorrow morning. Nothing that Bones can’t fix.” He finished, trying his best to not let his gaze, or fingers, linger too long on the exposed skin.
Spock took the opportunity to speak, “I can not help but be impressed by your deep first aid knowledge.” His words and gaze struck Jim deep to his core and he couldn’t help but blurt out the truth.
“Asked Bones to teach me more Vulcan anatomy.” Jim had spoken, and Spock ignored the way his heart sized in his side at the word, “In case any of my officers get in trouble.” And Spock tilted his head.
“But,” he replied, Jim’s gaze lifting and exquisite blue eyes burning themselves in Spock’s memory forever, “I am the only Vulcan officer on the ship.” he said, watching as Jim’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip, Spock face going soft as Jim’s gaze drifted away.
“I know.” Jim responded, his voice cracking and Spock couldn’t help but take a step forward. Jim’s mind racing for anything, any coherent jumble of letters and words to form a logical rhythm of syntax and sentence structure to make this make sense. To continue to leave Spock unaware of his feelings, or any feelings or emotions that Jim might accidently transfer over to him as his hands continued to wrap Spock’s arm. “I know.” he echoed, his voice smaller and quieter. Spock’s free hand comes up and stops Jim in his tracks.
“That doesn’t seem logical, Captain.” He spoke, “To immerse yourself in a study of something that is less than obsolete and to take up what little free time a starship captain such as yourself has…” Spock drifted off, Jim’s eyes wide as he struggled to remember how to breathe.
“Not everything has to be logical, Spock.” Jim whispered, “What is it that you always say? The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.”
“Not quite.” Spock replied. “For the needs of the few need not outweigh the needs of the many.”
Silence weighed heavy between them before Spock continued, “I find that your response does not answer the question I presented. What reason is there to know of Vulcan anatomy when I am the only Vulcan serving aboard the Enterprise. It is illogical.”
And a smile tugged at the corner of Jim’s lips, “It’s not illogical, Spock.” He began, allowing himself a moment to close his eyes and take a steady breath, “Not when it’s you.” Spock opened his mouth to try to argue against the claim that Jim had made, but he continued. “Caring about the well being of your… friend… doesn’t have to be logical. Consider it a human falsity. We’re pack animals, Spock, there's this deep innate part of ourselves that wants to make sure those we care about are taken care of.” Jim took a step closer, his hand raising to cup Spock’s face, his thumb brushing away the drops of blood from the scratch just below his eye.
“You speak as if we were considered to be such a pack.” Spock spoke, ignoring the way his breath caught in his throat and the way he couldn’t help but lean into Jim’s touch. It took all forms of self control not to just turn his head just so and place a kiss to the palm of his hand.
“A human trait.” Jim supplied, they were so close now, their breaths mingled in the hot air that stood stagnant between them. How many times had they ended up like this? Jim lost count long ago. The times that they stood close, like this and closer still. Times where it seemed it was just the two of them in the room; in the galaxy even. But there was always something that tore them apart. But now, with Scotty still radio silent, what was stopping them now? Perhaps Jim’s own cowardice or Spock’s inability to make the first move. Perhaps it was some combination, the feelings and twisting emotions that wrestled deep within themselves and made any kind of coherent thought out of reach.
“Spock.” Jim allowed himself to speak his name, at least. The letters make their home all too well in his mind, his mouth forming them flawlessly as if it was an act of devotion itself. And maybe it was. “I…” He found himself struggling, words that usually come so easily to Jim had lost their way. His breathing became shallow as Spock’s own hand came up, fingers softly conforming to the curve of Jim’s cheek, his thumb dangerously close to Jim’s lip.
“Jim.” The sound of his own name falling from the Vulcan’s lips made him shudder, his eyes flutter close and his heart pounding in his chest as if wanted to break free from his ribs and hand himself over to the one person it belonged to. “I often find things illogical when they center around your person.” He confessed and Jim giggled like a school child, innocent and full of happiness, and Spock realized that it was his favorite sound, as illogical as it may be to assign a preference for any noise that was pleasant to his ears. But with Jim, everything was illogical, and somehow, Spock didn’t seem to mind.
“I know the feeling.” Jim replied, his lips brushing against the pad of Spock’s thumb as he spoke, goosebumps rising along the length of his spine and causing him to shudder. “Then why try to fight it?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“It is logical to explore that which seems illogical.” Spock replied, their lips so close. Jim just needed to lean up. To lift himself on his tiptoes to finally lay to rest the question that haunts him at night. What do Spock’s lips taste like? How would they feel slotted against his own as they kissed the human way. He wonders if Spock would take his hand, their fingers pressed together when their lips had no choice but to part for the need of oxygen.
Jim felt lightheaded as he let his eyes close, Spock closing the distance between them and oh. Oh. Spock was kissing him. Spock’s lips against his, the faint taste of copper and tea. Of hot flesh and the way Spock’s nose bumped Jim’s as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. He wanted to throw his arms around Spock, to pull him down closer and melt into his being.
Spock’s fingers snaking into his hair as a buzzing sound surrounded them. Spock pulled away, their eyes opened as they were beamed up. Jim hadn’t even heard Scotty call.
When Jim next blinked he was on the Enterprise, Spock was still across from him in the transporter room. The two were still impossibly close as Spock swallowed hard, taking a step back as McCoy rushed the platform, mumbling something about how Jim’s patch up was good enough for city work.
And Jim wanted to put his fingers to his lips, to replay the memory in his mind of what Spock’s lips felt like against his. The way he seeped into his bloodstream like a fine wine. He was light headed and his thought a jumbled mess, so much so that he was afraid to speak lest he sound like a drunken sailor with words so slurred they not even a universal translator could decipher.
“I am fine, Doctor.” Spock’s voice filled the emptiness inside of Jim’s mind and gave him something to divert his focus to. “The captain is very knowledgeable, a fact I’ve learned, that is all thanks to your good instruction.”
Bones stepped back, his eyebrows furrowed together as he looked at Spock with a smirk, “Why, Commander Spock.”He began and he could see the way Spock’s lips tugged down and the slight twitch of his eye, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Was that a compliment?” he asked.
“You may perceive it as you wish, Doctor McCoy, but it was not intentional to compliment something so easily done. Perhaps you should have gone into the profession of teaching the next generation of physicians.” And Jim bit back the laugh that threatened to bubble from his chest.
Spock did not give Bones a chance to retort, simply turning his attention to Jim and continued to speak, “I believe we will have quite the report to write up for Starfleet. Perhaps we will finish sooner if we collaborate on the subject.” Spock’s gaze boring into Jim and all the blonde could do was nod his head.
“Yeah.” he replied, his voice cracking as Spock eyebrows quirked in response. The mere act, in Jim’s own professional opinion, should have been an act of treason the way it made his stomach drop and having him squirming where he stood.
McCoy looked between them, shooting Jim an expression of ‘what the absolute fuck is going on. Oh fuck I don’t want to know.’
“Then it is settled.” Spock continued, closing the space between the two of them, his voice dropping low so that only Jim could hear him. “I must insist though that first a shower and a change of clothes are necessary, wouldn’t you agree, Captain?”
Jim could only nod his head in response as Spock continued to walk away. He turned back for just a moment to quirk his eyebrows once more in Jim’s direction before leaving the transporter room.
“What the fuck happened down there?” McCoy asked as Jim let his grin consume his face, his cheeks red as he turned toward Bones.
“I’ll fill you in later, Bones.” He replied, patting him on the shoulder and running out of the transport room, “Spock, wait up!” he shouted, finally catching up to the Vulcan as the two made their way back to the crew quarters. And if they entered through the same door, then who was to say anything?