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It felt like a century since the last visit to the Rengoku Estate.
Autumn had rolled in around this time, the leaves beginning to fall from the trees and litter the ground in their grand garden. It hadn't been touched yet as he slowly stepped on to the porch as silent as the air around him. The only memories he had of this place was a time when he was hurting and vulnerable. A time he didn't care to think about.
A time that was now more painful than it was before.
The place was far too quiet for the Snake Hashira's liking. Usually by now he would have been hearing a certain loud voice that somehow never failed to put him at ease. Kaburamaru hissed softly as he rested his head on his master's hair while keeping an eye out for anyone who might be less than pleased to see him there. More specifically a drunken fool of a former pillar he once looked up to for saving his life.
It felt so surreal to him. To never see that too bright smile. To never have those warm arms around him again no matter how much he tried to say he hated hugs. Never again to feel a kiss on his forehead before each mission for luck even if at times he didn't return it due to his discomfort with his mask. He pushed his hair back, closing his eyes a moment before he stands before the doors.
However as Obanai stared at the wooden paper doors he couldn't help but feel a sense of discomfort. Why was he even here? Was he trying to hurt himself more than he already was? He couldn't even bring himself to go to the funeral how was he supposed to face anyone here without Kyojuro?
He slowly started to turn around to leave-
"Obanai-san?"
He internally cursed as his snake turned his head with a flicker of his tongue. He knew that young soft voice anywhere as he slowly turned around to look at him with his one good eye.
There, looking like a young ghost of the one he lost was Senjuro, holding a tea pot in his hand and his eyes bloodshot. He could feel his own discomfort at realizing that Senjuro had been crying when he notices the nearly dried dears giving a small glimmer. Has he come at a bad time? Was this a mistake? Why did he think it was a good idea to begin with?!
"Hello Senjuro-kun. I'm sorry to disturb you, Kaburamaru and I will-"
"N-no wait!"
He stops. Damn him, he stops at the slight desperation in that young man's tone. How can he not? Where the hell was Shinjuro? Why did Senjuro have to sound so sad? It was pulling at the heart strings he thought had been severed by the death of his beloved Kyojuro.
"Please...I just put on some tea. Oolong. Y-you can c-come in...Chichiue is not h-here. So it won't be as stressful."
A small part of Obanai almost says no...but as he turned his head to look he found himself caving as he turned to walk back. Perhaps he felt he owed it to Senjuro for not protecting his brother better. Or perhaps it was because he remembers having tea with Senjuro before when they were children and the younger boy would make sure his snake would have a bowl of water to cool off in.
"Oolong sounds good, Senjuro-kun. Thank you."
Senjuro smiled slowly as Kaburamaru leans down and flickers his tongue against his cheek in gratitude.
Hence fifteen minutes later, he finds himself sitting at the table on a comfortable seat pillow as Senjuro goes to get them bowls for the tea. He pushed his long black hair back a moment. It feels like Kyojuro would come bursting in at any second with Kanroji so they would talk about training and having a picnic come spring together.
Why didn't I accept the invitation?
"Sorry for the w-wait, Obanai-san. I just wasn't expecting to see you..." Senjuro returns, drawing him out of his thoughts, "It's been so long since I saw you here, I thought you'd be too busy to come...I-I'm sure Kyojuro would have been happy to see you."
Obanai tried not to flinch before the tea is poured into his bowl. He took in a deep slow breath as he accepted it, closing his eyes.
"...Yes. I'm sure he would have," He sighed as he closed his eyes a moment. Kaburamaru slowly slipped off Obanai's shoulder to slither by the open door to bask in the sun's warmth, "...I'm sorry I couldn't..."
"I'm sure Aniue would have understood," Senjuro smiled sadly, "He really was fond of you, Obanai-san. He wouldn't stop talking about you when we would eat together...he even confided that he wished you would come and visit us more."
He is quiet as the other speaks. For a moment he wasn't sure what Senjuro was trying to do. Was talking about this supposed to help him feel better about missing the funeral? Did discussing Kyojuro help him feel better in some sense? Why did this kid think Obanai was the one to discuss it when he was trying not to fall apart due to his duties as a Pillar?
It seemed as he was sipping his tea to pause, Senjuro realized how uncomfortable he was.
"Ah, I'm sorry Obanai-san...I forgot myself. I know not everyone wants to hear the brother of the dearly departed reminisce about them..."
Obanai shifted a bit and cleared his throat behind his mask, "No no, I'm the one who should apologize...I know I'm not the best at this sort of thing," He sighed as he pushes his hair back, "I just happened to be coming this way and I thought maybe checking in might help me feel less like a horrible person for missing the funeral..." He looked into his tea.
He paused as it feels like it was all finally hitting him; like how a rock would strike someone when thrown or how a snakes fangs pierce skin. His eyes started to hurt as his throat had a painful lump in it. He hasn't felt such sensations since he was young and scared...when he was trying to cope-still trying to-with the trauma and pain inflicted upon him by those who were supposed to be family. The only one who has ever saw him this vulnerable was Kyojuro who would tell him it was okay. That things were going to be all right...
But he's not here anymore.
"...I...I miss him too." he admitted quietly, Senjuro looking up at him while blinking at the admission.
He slowly took the tea again and looked at it feeling the warmth seep into his fingers before Senjuro puts his hand on his comfortingly.
Perhaps coming here wasn't a horrible idea after all. Since he doesn't have to be sad alone.