Work Text:
It was still dark out. The early hours of the morning. The sun still had yet to come out yet. Gen laid on a bed that wasn’t his with a cute scientists spooning him tightly, keeping him there. It was surprising how clingy Senkuu was after. He was always so touch negative when the two were outside. Gen grabbed onto the familiar sheets that cover the bed with him and Senkuu under them. He pulled them off of him, still trying to keep some on Senkuu to keep him warm. Gen turned in Senkuu’s arms to look at Senkuu holding on to him. For a second Gen felt a bit special like it was just him and Senkuu in the world for a moment. The other looked much more relaxed but different from early that morning. Senkuu almost had permanent dark circles under his eyes but now he looked much more peaceful. Gen hesitant to touch his friend..?
Is that what we are?
Gen pushed one of Senkuu’s hair stands from his mouth and tucked it behind his ear. Senkuu’s hair was messy and still a bit damp from the shower.
What am I doing?
Gen looked at their clothes thrown about the room. This wasn’t the first time their clothes were on the floor as they held each other. Sometimes Gen's place. Sometimes at Senkuu’s. The moon’s light came in from the windows and gave Gen a clearer look at what happened. The mistake he had made again and there he was again. Holding Senkuu’s resting face in his hands. Their bodies were against one another yet Gen still felt like he was nowhere closer to the scientist.
The last time huh? I fucked that up.
A simple outing with Senkuu. They would get food, talk a bit and catch up. To everyone else, they must have looked like childhood friends and not someone Gen had just randomly found at a club and brought home one night months ago. They’d laugh, Senkuu would tease him for being a fake, and Gen would tease him for being such a know it all.
“Skill? Is that what you call it?” Senkuu asked, taking a drink of his water.
“Ohhh what would you call it Senkuu chan?” Gen asked
“A sham,” Senkuu shrugged. “Is that not what it is?”
“It is but it buys the bills,” Gen shrugged.
“And he admits it,” Senkuu pretended to gasp.
Senkuu was also too blunt, and maybe that was the thing that interested Gen in Senkuu. He wasn’t like the other people in his circle. All fluffed up words with no meaning, but Senkuu’s words held no such sweet tone.
1, 2, 3, 4, and a few more times after. Something casual turned to Gen’s heart aching for the scientist. It was funny in some sad way. Gen didn’t need his years of training to see Senkuu’s heart ached the same way his did. Gen sighed. He moved Senkuu’s arm from off him and slipped out of bed. Gen grabbed his clothes off the floor and put them on.
He knew what Senkuu meant by hanging out at his place. Gen’s brain told him the last time should be the last, but Gen's heart took the lead and gave in and went with Senkuu. Maybe he missed the affection or maybe he was too weak to call last time the last time.
The movie was still playing but Senkuu and Gen were too focused on each other to pay attention. One of Senkuu’s hands intertwined with Gen’s on the couch as they kissed.
“Gen,” Senkuu backed up first. “Is this okay?” Senkuu asked.
If only Gen listened to his head. “Yeah,” Gen smiled.
Senkuu and Gen had a good friendship going on and Gen loved being around Senkuu, just… What if he ruined it somehow? People in and out of his life, Gen got used to it, but Senkuu stayed. Gen didn’t bother to push him away. He thought he’d do that on his own, but he ended up opening up to Senkuu and Senkuu to him.
Gen stepped onto the balcony of Senkuu's apartment. It overlooked the city from its height. The bright lights below lit up the quiet city. A few cars here and there below. A cold breeze blew past Gen and into the room behind him. It was beautiful outside. The city was still and the sun was yet to show itself. For a second it was quiet and Gen could think. Senkuu's warm touch, the way Senkuu looked at him, nothing else mattered for that time. It was addicting, but just like a high, when it was over Gen was just left with the sickening feeling.
Love was so sickeningly sweet or even feeling loved, but if Gen let Senkuu love him Gen was scared he would just find something he didn’t love and leave.
Being mature meant talking out your feelings and not dancing around them like a love sick high schooler but being straight forward was never Gen’s thing. It was a cliche but Gen wanted Senkuu for at least a friend if nothing else. Soon Senkuu would move past his feelings and find someone new. Someone better.
Gen was so lost in thought he failed to notice the door behind him opened. A pair of arms wrapped around Gen and pulled him into the other embrace.
“Oh, did I wake you?” Gen asked.
“Yeah,” Senkuu mumbled. “It got cold without you,”
“Sorry about that,” Gen sang, determined to not let Senkuu see he was tearing up.
“It’s fine,” Senkuu rested his chin on Gen’s shoulder. “But come back to bed,”
“Aww, are you inviting me to wake up with you Senkuu chan? That’s sweet but I don’t really do that whole ‘waking up together thing’,” Gen sang, trying to deflect . “Orry say,”
What am I saying?
Gen knew he sounded like a self-centered asshole but that was what he knew how to act like.
Senkuu was quiet for a second but he snuggled closer to Gen. “Hey mentalist,”
“Yes?”
“Stop lying,” Senkuu’s words were cold.
“Senkuu chan, I’m not-,”
“I can tell you are,” Senkuu stopped Gen. “One moment you’re by my side, and the next you want to leave,”
“It’s getting late and-,”
“No, not that. You ask me to hang out, we go hang out, and talk like I’ve known you for years. Then we go back to my or your place and It feels like maybe we can be closer but then you push me away,”
“Senkuu chan I don’t... This is nothing more than something casual,”
“Then why are you crying?”
“It’s just cold out,” Gen shrugged.
“Just cut it out Gen. You’re lying to me,”
Gen sighed. “Figured me out huh?”
“You know I feel and I know how you feel. I wanted you to say something but I’m tired of waiting. Gen Asagiri, I love you and I know you love me. I just want to know, do you want to be with me because I want to be with you” Senkuu stated.
Gen held Senkuu’s arm in place before taking a deep breath. “Do you really want me? Me, and not just the celebrity. Not just some friend to mess around with. You want me?” Gen didn’t mean to sound accusatory but all of the insecurity was jumping out. “Because I’m scared you don’t really,”
“Gen, I’ve known you for months now. From your bad habits like leaving dishes in the sink or leaving everything a mess to the way, you smile when you walk about being a mentalist, or how you always order the same thing at boba shops. A small honey tea with popping boba because you like the extra bit of sweet when the boba pops,” Senkuu recalled. “Small things like those. The more I noticed the more I wanted to learn,” Senkuu kissed behind Gen’s ear. “I want to know more about you Gen,”
Gen was about ready to melt “That’s so unfair Senkuu chan. Using my fear of intimacy against me,”
“I’m right here,” Senkuu held Gen tighter. “Not really going anywhere. It is my house after all,”
It was a dumb joke but it got a few laughs from Gen. Gen turned to face Senkuu. Senkuu’s hand cupped Gen’s cheek and lightly brushed off Gen’s tears. Senkuu smiles softly at Gen. Their foreheads touched lightly. They looked at each other for a second before the two closed the distance between their two lips. Senkuu swung his arms on Gen’s shoulders to pull him closer as they kissed. Both cursed the air they needed pulling them apart.
Senkuu pulled Gen into a hug. Gen almost forgot how much Senkuu was not a morning person. Senkuu leaned against Gen as he yawned.
“You should go to sleep,” Gen pointed out. “It’ll be harder for you when the sun sets rising,”
“You’re coming then,” Senkuu drowsily yawned.
“Yeah,” Gen softly sighed.
Gen and Senkuu went back under the cover and rested together. Gen holding Senkuu. Gen had his arm over Senkuu’s shoulder and Senkuu had his arm over Gen’s waist. The covers over the two of them.
Senkuu pretended to sleep and only looked when he knew Gen would be asleep. Senkuu could pretend all he wanted. He was also nervous. If Gen feared getting too close to someone, Senkuu feared being abandoned, though he rarely told others that, by the ones he loved. Hell, he didn’t even know 100% if Gen even liked him like that, but he got tired of the cycle they were in. What came after this, Senkuu didn’t know, but that wasn’t a scary kind of unknown. The Unknown excited Senkuu. Kinda like a experiment.