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Sunghoon enters the living room and there he is. Dazzling.
As always. He knew finding him would be easy.
Because Sunoo shines, even when surrounded by a crowd, dancing, lights hitting on their sweaty bodies, Sunoo manages to stand out without even moving a finger. He’s the soul of the party, the center of attention that catches everyone’s eye, leaves their mouths hanging and their eyes sparkling.
It doesn’t make Sunghoon jealous, at all. Actually, it makes him proud to have Sunoo in his life. To be able to call him his . To see everyone approaching him intending to get something out of him, coming out rejected and dejected. Sunoo is a work of art. Sunoo belongs, and should be, in a museum.
Sunoo is everything Sunghoon is not. And that’s why they fit.
That’s why Sunghoon puts on some jeans and calls it a day while Sunoo has a breakdown over the outfit he wore outside the day before, because he doesn’t want to overuse clothes, because he puts some mascara and eyeshadow on his foxy eyes and suddenly has Sunghoon on his knees, once again.
It’s a game of push and pull, sometimes.
Sunoo does things on purpose and turns Sunghoon into mere putty, in his hands, always ready for him. And then Sunghoon puts an arm around his waist in public for everyone to see and the smile Sunoo gives him tells Sunghoon he’s seeing galaxies behind his eyes. Not just stars.
It’s not just stars. It’s the entire universe.
Sunghoon walks over to where Sunoo is talking to Jungwon about who knows what and stands behind him for a moment.
Then whispers in his ear, “hey,” and Sunoo jumps.
Then smiles. Sunoo smiles and the world goes quiet. Sunoo smiles so brightly, so blinding. Sunghoon wants to take a picture and frame it on a wall, but keep it to himself only at the same time.
Tough, it is.
To share, sometimes.
Now, however, he does. He allows everyone to see. To enjoy.
“How are you?” He asks, as the others fall into another conversation and let them talk.
“All good,” Sunoo replies, grins, and places a hand on his hip, “ready to go home.”
“Home?”
“To you.”
-
Sometimes Sunghoon worries.
It happens more often than not. But he manages it.
He worries because Sunoo is too good to be true, too nice, too pretty, too much. Too much for his body, his mind, his soul to handle. Sunghoon looks at him and thinks about being deserving. Is he deserving of such gentle and sweet words every morning? Of small fights in the evenings about groundless things? Of kisses with movies playing in the background?
Is Sunghoon deserving of Kim Sunoo?
Maybe he’s not, and perhaps he is.
Sunoo kisses his nose and reassures him.
“I love you,” he murmurs, under a dotted night. The sky shines, but Sunoo is brighter. He always is.
“I love you too,” says Sunghoon. But he doesn’t.
He doesn’t love him. Sunghoon adores him, is smitten, obsessed, in love with him. There aren’t words, currently, to describe what Sunghoon goes through, every time.
Every single time they look into each other’s eyes and whisper those words. And no matter how many stars decide to cater to everyone in the sky at night, they certainly don’t outnumber the ones in Sunoo’s eyes.
The vivid galaxies.
It’s intoxicating. And Sunghoon, for one thing, loves being intoxicated. In Sunoo, mainly, in his aura, his words, his essence, everything there’s to him.
He’s undeniably a romantic. A proud one. An addict one.
-
Sunoo deserves so much.
“Are you eating rice with that?” He asks while Sunghoon munches on an egg. He nods.
“Okay, but you haven’t cooked any.”
Sunghoon swallows.
“I was about to do that,” he replies.
“Let me.”
Sunoo cooks deliciously, even if he burns stuff as simple as a soup, he puts so much effort and passion that the food ends up being mouth-watering. Or maybe Sunghoon is biased.
At this point, it’s impossible to know.
Yet the rice is good, and that proves many of Sunghoon’s points, believe it or not.
“Thank you,” Sunghoon says, mouth full.
“Don’t thank me, big baby.”
And Sunghoon smiles, even if rice falls out of his mouth, he shows Sunoo the attention and praise he deserves.
Because Sunoo deserves so much.
The world, the universe. The stars, the planets. A thousand letters, a thousand kisses. Thousands, and thousands.
And Sunghoon stopped counting, how many days they’ve been together (1445), how many times they’ve fought (46) and made up (50), the amount of kisses and hugs and long nights of intimacy (lost count around 1.129). Now he mindlessly will fidget with Sunoo’s fingers and end up kissing for hours, or interrupt one of those aimless conversations with Niki and Jungwon just to stretch his arms out and ask for a hug. It happens too many times. It happens enough to satisfy him.
Enough to make Sunoo happy, deserving.
And enough, to show him where home is.
-
Home is a difficult concept.
Sunghoon lives in a rented apartment near downtown alone, because Sunoo lives with his parents. Yet, it’s so difficult to recall a memory where Sunoo wasn’t with him.
A moment in which they weren’t sleeping together, wrapped around each other like two cats, Sunoo snoring right into Sunghoon’s ear and Sunghoon smiling because that’ what home is to him.
Sunoo on a sunny morning, wearing a big shirt that belongs to him, probably, walking around in those green boxers, making breakfast for him, knowing and paying attention to every detail. Like Sunghoon drinking protein shakes every three days, the exact amount of grains his coffee maker needs to make the perfect and drinkable coffee. In a way, it’s his home, too.
His white skin shines under the sunling, turning a pale red, rosy cheeks, and soft eyes.
Sunghoon looks at him and thinks, no matter where, how, or when, Sunoo is his home.
Because when they fight, and Sunoo cries, locks himself inside their room (it is their ), and Sunghoon is left alone in the living room wondering what was wrongly said, it still has a homely feeling that Sunghoon can’t shake away.
Home, it is.
The rainy nights where they order take-out and eat in the living room watching a drama that they started together yet Sunoo knows every detail to because he spoiled it to himself beforehand. That’s part, a piece, of what makes a home.
Sunoo, and his smile, and his strong charisma, and his overly dramatic eye-rolls. And every kiss, and every touch. And Sunghoon wants to cry every time he’s not home.
Home is a person, a feeling, a sensation. Not a place.
It’s not a place.
-
They share a kiss that leaves a lingering feeling that Sunghoon can’t forget for the entirety of the day.
Sunoo is like that, sometimes he gives rough, passionate kisses, or the sweet and fondest ones. Sunghoon doesn’t complain, no, he never does. It’s like playing russian roulette, being completely unaware of the outcome.
This one is the kind that doesn’t leave Sunghoon alone. Because he walks to school and Sunoo doesn’t leave his mind (he never does, actually). Doesn’t stop bringing back memories of the night before or that same morning. Sunghoon stares at the numbers on the page of his notebook and they’re a blurry mess that turn into a doodle of Sunoo’s eyes if he tries hard enough.
That’s what Sunoo is like. Unforgettable.
He likes to leave marks, in every sense. He loves to leave behind clues, shed his skin, mark his own territory, so others know he was there. And, oh, they know .
Jake knows, when he sees Sunghoon’s neck.
“Damn, had fun last night bro?”
Jay laughs. Sunghoon wants to smack him.
“Leave me alone,” he says, and looks up in case the teacher is suddenly in front of him, “you two wish you’d get some.”
And they both gasp at that, Jay shaking his head, pretending to be hurt.
Loving his friends is easy. Forgetting the way Sunoo was pressing on his hips last night is difficult.
Then his phone vibrates in his pocket. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but Sunghoon knows instantly who caused it.
Sunoo
i’m done early today :)
wanna go home and finish what we started?
ooooor do you wanna go out and eat
Sunghoon
This is a though one
Both?
Sunoo
ding ding ding
correct answer! you win a blowjob and kimchi stew
Sunghoon
You’re the best
Sunoo
i knnow
Sunghoon
Meet you in five
Chemistry is in five minutes, actually, but Sunghoon is unable to think straight, and so he ditches class with ease and some winks thrown his way from Jake.
Ditching class is easy, forgetting the way Sunoo bites the back of his neck is impossible.
-
Sunoo sits by his side in silence.
They remain like that for a few minutes that gradually turn into hours, while Sunghoon works on an assignment and Sunoo watches a TV show, it’s silent.
Because there’s no need to talk, no need to say baseless words. No need for chitchat.
That’s one of the many things Sunghoon loves about his relationship with Sunoo. The way they fit, yes, but also the way they don’t have to be exactly appropriate pieces to form the perfect puzzle.
Sunoo finishes first and goes shower, and while he takes his time, Sunghoon pauses his typing and gets up to cook something. Maybe he’s not the best, but Sunoo seems to enjoy every meal Sunghoon makes, so they’re both good at that, at least.
“Dinner is served,” Sunghoon calls from the living room as Sunoo walks out from the bedroom with a hydrating mask on, a robe, and Sunghoon’s slippers.
“Thank you,” he says, takes a seat, and begins eating. Sunghoon doesn’t know exactly how Sunoo manages it, but the mask stays glued to his face, untouched by the food.
It’s part of his magic, he guesses.
There are days where words are nearly not needed, like today, while they rest, now in bed, looking at the full moon that’s shining outside the window. It’s silent.
“I love you,” Sunghoon says, out of nowhere.
“I love you too,” then replies Sunoo. Their eyes don’t shift, and their bodies sink into the bed slowly until their eyes close and the moon is being replaced by the sun.
A few words, a few looks, a few smiles, that’s what they share.
And it’s enough. Because Sunoo is there, because his stomach is full, because his mind is at ease. It’s enough.