Chapter Text
On the day of Tom Watson’s funeral, it rained. The pink-orange sky previously filled with summer sunsets turned gray, ready to mourn with the people who lived under it. The clouds opened up, pouring down enough water to flood the river running through town. It was the largest amount of rainfall they’d received all year.
Techno assumed there were plenty of sad and teary people at his classmate’s funeral. There was an endless amount of family and friends that would be mourning for months, maybe even years. He assumed the same went for the wake the night before, too. He hadn’t gone to that, either. He’d stayed in his room, listening to the rain tap tap tap against his window. It wasn’t anyone’s job to make him go.
The only person who would’ve made it their problem was dead.
He wasn’t much of one for venturing too far out of his room, anyway. The only things that brought him out were school and other purposeful outings like going for groceries or getting takeout. He didn’t need much, he was glad to stick to the books on his shelf and the worlds of fiction within them. His one exception to that rule wasn’t around anymore.
It wasn’t like he was hiding out in his room out of grief. That wasn’t what he was doing. He’d been reading a book he borrowed from him. His exception told him it was the only book he really loved as a kid, so he was intent on picking up every word on each of its pages. He’d aimed to read and return it to him before he died, but he was too late for that, now. He would just have to return it when he got around to visiting his family and paying his respects.
As he flipped past the last page of the book, he realized how much time had passed. He read well into the evening, missing at least one meal for sure. He abandoned the book in his bed sheets as his phone buzzed on the floor beneath him. He leaned over the edge of his twin size to read the message, prying it from the carpet, when he saw it was from his mother. Dinner was ready, whenever he wanted it. Techno opened the message, telling her he’d be down later.
He hadn’t touched his phone for a few days, he noticed. He didn’t think he was avoiding it, like it held some deeper meaning—just that he didn’t have a reason to. Exiting the text thread with his mother, he laid eyes on the one directly below it. The last time he opened his phone, he’d been sending a message to him. It was just one line, something the kid had begged him to say multiple times before but didn’t get until then.
He wondered if he ever read it.
You can eat my pancreas.
Techno wondered if he did see it, what he would’ve thought. He could imagine a response, but it didn’t feel authentic. He could never match the kid’s energy.
He never ended up going downstairs for dinner. He took too long searching for an answer that wouldn’t be found in the corners of his own mind.
“Hey, Techno,” he started, peering at him through the bookcase they were reorganizing, “I have a request for you.”
Techno glanced up, squinting at the kid through the historical nonfiction section. He had a grin on his face, like he knew whatever he was going to say would get a reaction from him. He shelved a documentary on the American Civil War and kept working, ignoring him almost entirely.
“Let me eat your pancreas,” Tom Watson said, the finality to his tone sounding less like a suggestion and more like an order.
Techno snorted, shoving a cluster of books aside to peer at Tommy again. The kid continued to stock the shelves, as if there was nothing off about what he’d just said whatsoever. When he finally noticed Techno staring at him, he met his eyes. There was no hint of humor to be found in them.
“What? Did you suddenly decide now was the best time to become a cannibal? Is the economy that bad?” Techno asked, pushing the books back in place.
This time, Tommy cackled from the other side of the shelf. He spun around the end of the aisle, latching his hands onto the book trolley and grinning up at Techno. His eyes were wide with wonder and something like pride. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he started to explain, rolling the cart along with his movements.
“I saw it on TV last night. In ye olden days, when a part of someone’s body was all fucked up, they’d eat that part of an animal,” he announced like he was their history teacher.
“And how does this pertain to my pancreas being in your mouth?” Techno questioned, dragging the trolley and Tommy further down the aisle.
“If their stomach was shit, they ate a stomach; if their heart was shit, they ate a heart—like it would heal them or something,” Tommy continued, letting go of the cart and bouncing around to Techno’s other side. “So… I’ll be needing your pancreas, Big T.”
“Why mine? Why not literally anyone else’s?”
“Because you’re the only one who knows, dipshit. And I don’t wanna eat my family, that’s like, incest or something.”
“Not at all, but okay.”
Tommy waved a hand in front of his face and leaned against the bookcase. “Whatever, my point still stands. You’re the only person I can ask.”
“Ever thought that I might need mine?” Techno questioned further.
“Why would you need yours? Do you even know what it does?” Tommy countered, reaching to shove an accusatory finger in his face.
Techno swatted it away with a novel about a soldier sent to war in Vietnam. “Of course I do.”
Tommy hummed, planting his hands on his hips and turning towards him. He leaned in close, standing on his tiptoes to get his smug smirk as close as possible.
“Oh yeah? Then tell me,” Tommy challenged him. “I bet you looked it up because of me and how intrinsic I am to your life.”
“It handles digestion and metabolism. It makes insulin that turns sugar into energy. No pancreas, no energy. Sorry, Tommy, but I kinda need mine,” Techno elaborated sarcastically. “Now can you get back to work? I’d like to be out of here before it gets dark.”
“Blah, blah, blah—whatever, Techno Blade,” Tommy sighed, snatching a new armful of books from the return cart. He grinned and elbowed Techno as he walked back past him. “You didn’t deny it when I said I’m intrinsic to your life.”
“You’re a curse on my bloodline,” Techno replied. “And be quiet, we’re still in a library.”
Tommy spun on his heel, using his middle finger to pull down on his cheek and stick his tongue out at him. Techno knew he’d made a mistake in the conversation. No one needed to boost Tommy’s ego any higher, but he unintentionally had. By ignoring part of what Tommy said, he’d given him an answer that wasn’t true. He knew Tommy wasn’t going to forget it, though, so he found no point in trying to convince him otherwise. The kid’s bullheadedness was too much for Techno; he’d never win any argument with him.
His job in the library became considerably less peaceful once Tommy started working alongside him. He’d hung around behind the desks and in the back rooms before, but Techno knew that was only because his dad was the librarian. Apparently, his other friends had after school activities that he had no interest in taking part in, so he came to the library instead.
Before long, the return cart was empty and they got to what Tommy declared as his favorite part of the job: picking up the books left scattered on the various study and lounge areas. Tommy said he liked to imagine what type of person picked out each book they found. His fantasies weren’t wild, as Techno first expected, but much more human. A single mother taking an hour out of her day to read a romance novel in the corner, a tough kid who secretly loved The Magic Tree House, a young adult stuck in a minimum wage job who dreamed of exploring the globe taking a look in one of the many atlases of the world. Techno had no idea how he could continue to create these down to earth stories each time, but his imagination never failed him.
Soon enough, Tommy’s father came to let them off for the day. Phil Watson was a kind man. His smiles were always warm and he took extra good care of the books on his shelves. Techno hadn’t figured out how Phil could raise someone like Tommy, but he didn’t think he’d ever find the answer to that question.
Tommy sighed heavily, collapsing into one of the rolling chairs behind the main desk. He pulled his jacket from below the desk and wiped the sweat that had beaded on his forehead. He wasn’t the only one sweating; summer was quickly approaching, and the library’s air conditioning was definitely failing to keep up.
“When are you gonna get the damn air conditioning fixed in here?” Tommy asked, smacking his dad’s arm with the sleeve of his jacket. “If we’re gonna work here all summer, it’s gonna be miserable.”
“I’ll ask maintenance about it soon,” Phil assured him, pulling Tommy’s chair back to place a plate of cookies on the desk in front of them. “Here—as thanks for your work today.”
Obnoxiously, Tommy practically shouted his thanks. Techno mumbled a quiet thank you and took a chocolate chip cookie for himself. This was a regular occurrence for them lately. Techno had yet to decide if it was out of genuine gratitude or a way for Phil to placate his son.
“I know this can take up a lot of time, so sorry if it’s getting in the way of other things, Techno,” Phil apologized with a small nod. “We’re getting close to finals, so if you want to take this time to study instead, just let me know.”
Techno shook his head and insisted, “No, I’ll be fine. As long as I pay enough attention in class, I never really need to look things over.”
“Studying is for nerds,” Tommy added, shoving half a cookie in his mouth and speaking around it. “I am not a nerd.”
Phil rolled his eyes, but kept his attention on Techno. He asked, “Do you have any future plans? I know you’ll be a senior next year.”
“Uh… I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I get there,” Techno answered.
While Phil chuckled, Tommy readily met Techno’s eyes. There was a grin on his face not unlike the one he flashed at Techno earlier. He looked like he was about to say the funniest thing in the world and Techno would just have to laugh.
“I’ve never had to think that hard about my future, so good luck to you on that, Big T,” Tommy cracked what was supposed to be a joke and roughly slapped a hand on Techno’s knee.
Phil pointedly shot his son a knowing look, only getting a shrill laugh from the kid. Techno just sighed and turned away in his chair. Tommy roughly kicked his ankle, and when Techno spun back to see what he wanted, Tommy was staring at him expectantly. He knew he was looking for approval, so he relented and gave him a halfhearted thumbs up. The smile that spread across Tommy’s face was exploding with pride.
They rested behind the desk for a short while longer, checking out a handful of books brought to them by students on their way out. Phil sent them away as closing time inched nearer, saying he had a few more things to take care of and didn’t want a bored Tommy pestering him the whole time. They retrieved their things from the back office and pushed out of the library, facing the cooling evening air gratefully.
“Why is it cooler out here than inside the school?” Tommy complained as they crossed the school grounds.
“No idea,” Techno answered automatically.
“Like, being out of the sun should be cooler than being in the sun,” he continued, raising his arms up to the sky like the sun could hear his grievances.
“Usually.”
Techno had gotten used to these types of conversations. He let Tommy talk his ear off without really listening, just giving half responses that made it seem like he was paying attention. Tommy was very content to just blabber his mouth off, no matter who was around to hear what he had to say. It led to Techno learning the strange art of active listening and active thinking at the same time.
A lot of things about Tommy confused Techno. He didn’t understand why the kid stuck around this long. He didn’t know how he could be so interested in all the little things happening in the world around him. He couldn’t understand why such an extroverted and social kid like him spent his days after school working in the library with someone like him.
“Are you really paying attention to me?” Tommy asked suddenly.
“Not really,” slipped the answer from Techno’s mouth.
In one bounding step, Tommy jumped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. The triumphant look on his face annoyed Techno slightly, but he refused to say anything about it.
“I knew it!” Tommy exclaimed. He reached up to flick Techno’s forehead before turning on his heel and continuing to march down the sidewalk. “What were you thinking about, then?”
“I was thinking about you,” Techno answered honestly, perhaps going a bit against his better judgement.
“Oh… Really?” Tommy stopped on the sidewalk again, holding up to look back at Techno quizzically.
“Yeah, really,” Techno responded, still a few feet behind him. “I was thinking… is it really alright for you to spend what time you have left with me, of all people, holed up in the library?”
Tommy paused at that. He stared at Techno, expression blank, for a few moments longer. Then, he hummed and nodded his head twice. He crossed the short distance between them and waggled a finger in the air.
“Let me break this down for you, Tech,” Tommy began. “Everyone has things they want to do before they die, right? You have things you want to do before you die?” He paused to confirm, and when Techno nodded, he continued. “Well, here you are, not doing those things. For all you know, you could die tomorrow. You could die on your way home tonight, but you’re not about to go run off and do whatever’s on your bucket list—we have school tomorrow. So I’m not gonna rush headfirst into those things. I have time, even if it’s limited.”
Techno blinked, staring back at the blue eyes studying his. Tommy had a point. Death was always uncertain. It didn’t wait and it didn’t tell you when it was coming. Well, maybe it did, in Tommy’s case.
“But still, what are you doing with me? Why the library?” Techno asked again, still seeing one hole in his argument.
“I find enjoyment in everyday life, Techno Blade,” Tommy answered concisely, reaching up to pat Techno on the shoulder. “Each day is worth just as much as the next. As long as I’m having a good time, I’m satisfied, and I’m having a good time with you in the library. Simple as that.”
“Your life, I guess. Spend it doing what you want,” Techno shrugged. He wasn’t about to tell Tommy to spend his time doing something better. It wasn’t his place to say anything like that; he had no effect on other people’s lives, anyways.
As he pushed ahead, a hand wrapped around his wrist. He glanced back at Tommy, only to see that mischievous smile back on his face. The somewhat serious air had melted quickly, and Techno realized this kid wasn’t done throwing his life off the rails.
“So, if you’re all about me spending my time how I please,” Tommy reasoned, “what are you doing on Sunday?”
“Nothing. You do know what my life is like, right?” Techno answered, raising an eyebrow.
Tommy huffed and let go of his wrist. “Yeah, I know, you do nothing but read like a nerd. Now, you have plans! Meet me at the train station at noon on Sunday. We’re doing shit, whether you like it or not.”
Without waiting for a response, Tommy turned on his heel, waved over his shoulder, and headed home. Techno stared at his back and watched him go. He knew there was no point in arguing otherwise, and it wasn’t like he had any reason not to go. If Tommy really wanted to include him in the things he did before he died, Techno would let him.
He swept his gaze off the Tommy-shaped dot in the distance and started walking the other direction. They lived on opposite sides of the neighborhood, nearly as far apart as they could get. Still, Tommy had managed to worm his way into his life without issue.
Walking home, Techno’s mind drifted back to their previous conversation. Tommy was completely right when he said anyone could die at any second. He must’ve been made aware of that more than anyone else. A cold, lingering fear resonated deep in Techno’s chest. It made him double check before crossing streets and walk a bit faster past dark alleys. Despite his apathy, he wasn’t exactly keen on the prospect of dying. He’d like to keep that part of his journey at bay for a while longer.
Techno didn’t know how many more times he’d walk home alone and just see street corners and building names. His gut told him he and Tommy had very different ways of viewing the world around them. He couldn’t help but wonder how Tommy would see his walk home. Surely he would see more than plain old streetlights and townhouses. Maybe he would see the possibilities—what had been there already, and what could be in the future. Maybe one day, Techno would see it for himself.