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Eli flinches and the shield bounces off the wall and hits him in the back. Again.
"That was too high!" Eli whines. "No one could catch that!"
"I'll send a note to the bad guys," Sam says drily. "Make sure they don't throw anything too high or too low."
Sam is ready to throw Eli against a wall. The kid all but begged Sam to train him, but he gripes constantly about the effort that goes into training.
"I'm still learning, Uncle Sam. I haven't been doing this for thirty years like you have."
"Stop calling me uncle, and how old do you think I am?"
"Forty-five?" Eli guesses before collapsing to the ground. "You did that on purpose! This is supposed to be training, not child abuse!"
Sam does feel a stab of guilt as he helps Eli to his feet. It was a literal low blow to hit him in the back of the knees with the shield, but the kid is working his last nerve with his constant disrespect.
"You were the one who insisted you were a man and that people grew up faster in 'Bmore' than in… where did you say I was from?"
"I was joking…"
"Bumblefuck, West Virginy. That's right."
Sam moves back into position and whips the shield a little harder than he should. Eli dives to the ground to avoid it.
"You're trying to kill me! It was a joke!"
"This isn't a joke, kid. You put yourself out there and people start coming for you. No one cares if it's your first day on the job. The day I came out of retirement and put on my wings, the Winter Soldier jumped on my car and pulled my steering wheel out through my windshield. While I was driving. On a highway. We escaped when Steve ripped the door off my car and then Captain America, the Black Widow and the Dude in Jeans with a Stolen Wing Pack jumped out and rode that car door like a bobsled. That was day one and that was just the beginning!"
Sam sees Bucky silently crossing the field and is suddenly aware he is yelling. Sam is not easily rattled, but Elijah Bradley gets right under his skin.
"So when do I get assigned a white best friend?" Eli smirks.
Bucky stands behind Eli and puts his mouth right up to Eli's ear before saying, "When you've earned one."
Eli jumps out of his skin and Sam laughs so hard, there are tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Time for hand-to-hand combat. Let's go, Elijah," Bucky orders, pointing to the door leading to the combat gym.
Eli looks wide-eyed at Sam.
"I am not ready to fight this dude!"
"No, but you are ready to train with him. Don't worry," Sam teases. He has no desire to put Eli at ease. The kid needs some humility. And some manners. "He doesn't bite."
"Yes he does," Joaquin Torres yells, walking through the door of the gym (cheerful as ever) holding his bandaged arm above his head.
"And why did I bite you?" Bucky asks, almost gently.
"Because I kept letting you get your teeth near my arm."
"And how many times did I warn you?"
"Three times," Joaquin admits with a smile.
Bucky turns to Eli and says, "Don't make me repeat myself and you'll be fine."
Eli shoots a wounded look to Sam and Joaquin before following Bucky with an air of despair.
"Eli is great," Joaquin says with no apparent sarcasm. "He really brings a lot of energy to the team."
"You want me to fail. You don't want me out there with a shield, stealing your thunder, Black Captain America."
Sam almost whips the shield at him.
"You are wasting my time," Sam snaps. "I could be training with Bucky, letting him throw my ass around the gym. You know why I like training with Bucky?"
"Because you like it rough?"
"Because I know that in the real world, I fight gods and monsters and I need to be ready to take a beating. I don't want anyone to take it easy on me. Life isn't easy, kid."
"You think you can scare me?" Eli sneers. "People are going to want to hurt me? I grew up in Baltimore. I have been getting this speech since I was five. Maybe try something new for once instead of your tired wise old uncle bull. I'm not a kid, I've seen a few things."
"Go home."
"We just started."
"Go home."
"Fine. I'm sorry, Captain America. Please bestow your great wisdom upon me…"
Sam walks out of the gym before he can say something he'll regret.
Joaqin is in the locker room, covering himself in a topical pain reliever. He's covered in bruises, new and old. He is the polar opposite of Eli. Baby Falcon Joaquin Torres dives into every challenge head-on.
"Are you already done with Eli?"
"I am so done with Eli."
"I'll see if he wants to spar or if he's ready to go home."
"You giving him a ride to his Grandma's house?"
Torres looks confused. "No. He's been staying at my place. It was getting too expensive for him to keep bussing into DC so he was planning to just sleep in a park. I know you think I baby him, but I am not letting a teen sleep in a city park."
"He said he has a grandma that lives nearby," Sam explains. "Why does he need to lie about everything?"
Torres shrugs. "He wants you to like him. People do stupid things to be likeable. I can relate."
Sam tries to imagine how obnoxious the kid would be if he wasn't trying to be likeable. It's a sobering thought.
Eli skips training the next day. And the next day. Joaquin is cagey when Sam asks about his houseguest, but encourages him to give Eli a chance to, "get some stuff straight in his head."
Bucky "I literally bit Torres" Barnes suggests Sam is being too tough on Eli.
"He's a dumb kid. Give him a break."
He calls Sarah who says, "That little boy called you out and it pissed you off."
"Called me out on what? Trying to train him when he begged me to train him?"
"Remember how you felt when you heard Isaiah Bradley's story?"
The story still haunts him. Black men used as guinea pigs. Again. One more horrible story to add to the pile of horrible stories to remind him there are people who will never see him as a human being.
"What about it?"
"That story nearly broke your spirit and you are a grown-ass man. That's his uncle. Tell me you don't understand why that kid resents being lectured about the dangers he's going to face if he puts himself out there as a hero."
Sam wants to argue, but she's right. Isaiah was punished for being too strong and too capable. Eli is never going to suffer the delusion that enough training can keep him safe from his own government, much less crazy space monsters.
And the truth is, Sam doesn't appreciate being reminded of his own vulnerability. He can't look at Eli and not think of what happened to Isaiah. Of how easily Sam could be targeted by the same type of people. Isaiah's legacy is a bucket of cold water to the face, forcing anyone who hears his story to face a bitter truth.
"Why do you have to be so smart?" Sam asks.
"I don't know, Sam," Sarah sighs. "It can be a burden at times."
Sam doesn't look for Eli, but he finds him just the same. He goes to Isaiah's exhibit hoping to find some clarity, and be finds Eli standing in front of his uncle's statue.
"You think you'll ever get a statue?" Eli asks. "After the government fakes your suicide?"
Sam wants to snap, but Sarah has a point.
"I've wondered that myself," Sam admits. "If I will get to retire or if they'll take me out. What kind of legacy I'll be able to leave behind."
"How do you know it's worth it? How do you know you aren't just being a puppet? How do you know it won't all be taken away from you and all that hard work will have been for nothing? And you'll have betrayed the people dumb enough to believe you could be different?"
"I know it won't be for nothing because I've helped people. As for the rest… I don't exactly have to wonder if there are people who want to replace me with another Great White Hope. Maybe it will be all over tomorrow. Maybe they'll say I died snorting cocaine off the Winter Soldier's ass and we were HYDRA sleeper agents the whole time."
"That is super specific, Sam. You really have thought about this."
"Damn right, I think about it. When… If they take me out, they'll try to take out anyone who might try to stand up for me. Bucky will be the first one they go after. Maybe Torres next. Maybe Sharon. How many people would end up falling on their sword because of me and for what? I think about it all the time."
"I never had a Falcon lunchbox or action figure."
"Is this a hint? You got a birthday coming up?"
"I wanted one. I wanted a Black Superhero on my backpack. I wanted to be the Falcon for Halloween. I would tell anyone who listened that you were a token, just there to make that MAGA wet dream Captain America look even better. When they locked your ass up, Uncle Isaiah said, 'I told you so' and I said the same thing to everyone at school… but I cried when Steve busted you guys out. I wanted to believe the propaganda. That you guys were really friends, really equals, really a team. I wanted it all to be real. When you gave that big speech on TV," Eli's voice breaks. His eyes are wet with tears. "I wanted to believe that… I wanted to believe. I see you and Bucky and Joaquin and I want to believe."
Sam puts his arm around Eli's shoulders and gives the young man a moment to collect himself before admitting, "Me too, kid. Me too."
"What's the point? If nothing ever really changes. What's the point?"
"I believe things can change. I believe a person can make a difference. If that person isn't me, then maybe it will be a kid who grew up with the Falcon on their lunchbox. If my legacy is being a piece of propaganda that inspires greatness in someone else, I can live with that."
"Uncle Isaiah said you'd fill my head with optimistic bullshit "
"Language, kid."
"Really? Respectability politics?"
"Manners. We're in a museum full of kids and old people. C'mon, kid. Let's go."
"Where we going?" Eli asks, suddenly looking very young.
"To the gift shop. They're selling a nice Captain America lunch box. It has a thermos and everything. I'm getting one for Bucky. The thing is, he grew up during the Great Depression so he hates seeing anything go to waste. He'll hate it, but he'll have to use it."
Eli takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes.
"Let's get my Black Captain America lunchbox, Cap. Joaquin keeps raving about his."