Work Text:
Bingo Square Fill: Crying - tears so warm, i could melt
Sam Wilson had cried many times in his life, and so had Bucky. They were on his motorbike, on a highway in DC. The wind was cool and refreshing. The skies were bright and blue. Sam was laughing happily as he held his boyfriend close. “Where are you taking me?” Sam asked him, resting his chin on his shoulder.
“I’m just taking you out for a ride,” Bucky laughed. “You know, this is where we first met. I tried to kill you…”
“All great romances start out like that,” Sam teased “but you still owe me a steering wheel.”
James laughed “yes, Sam.”
They parked the motorbike and started walking. Bucky felt the engagement ring in his pocket. He was so happy with Sam, so full and whole. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sam.
The park was filled with lush, green trees and Sam...He was smiling - Bucky would never get sick of his smile. The way his cheeks pulled up, the small creases, the way his eyelashes fluttered. It was angelic. It was pure.
He loved his eyes. Those dark, enchanting eyes that he’d get lost in. He loved kissing Sam’s face. He loved holding him close in bed. He loved everything about Sam. “Where are you taking me?” Sam repeated again.
“Just for a walk,” Bucky reassured. He took his hand and gripped it gently “you alright?”
Sam smiled, “I’m always alright with you.” He took Bucky’s metal hand and kissed it gently. His hands trailed to his waist and lightly brushed it, earning a laugh from his boyfriend. “Mm, forgot you were ticklish.”
Bucky lightly pushed him “you hungry? I can get you your favourite,”
“Sure,” Sam smiled as they walked to the nearest coffee shop. Bucky has memorised a lot about Sam for a while now. He knows he loves the smell of coconut, and when he gets a headache his face twitches and he starts rubbing his hands for comfort. Bucky knows the way Sam likes his coffee, he knows how he likes the bed made and he knows that Sam likes fishing out on the docks early in the morning or afternoon. He really loved him.
Sam was eating a sandwich as Bucky dug into a pastry. “I got somewhere else to take you…” Bucky explained as he finished eating. He took Sam’s hand “I want to spoil you today,” he smiled softly.
Sam melted when Bucky gave him that look. Where his eyes looked like they were made of hearts. “Mhm, why’s that?” Sam asked teasingly.
Oh, he has no idea I’m going to propose to him. Bucky placed a hand on his pocket and swallowed nervously. “Uh - nothing,” he smiled “just felt like giving you a day off from all the bullshit you deal with.”
“Alright,” Sam smiled.
They went to the Smithsonian. There were parts of their history in here, and Steve’s. Sam had no idea why Bucky thought about bringing them here. Sam gripped on Bucky’s hand as they looked at the war artifacts. They stopped at Isaiah’s section of the museum.
“I’m so proud of you for doing that for Isaiah,” Bucky smiled.
“I’m proud too,” Sam smiled back, “why bring me here?”
“Well, this is where you kind of...first learned about me, right? Steve brought you here?”
“I guess,” Sam chuckled. “I remember seeing your photo. In the file. You look similar to your younger self,”
Bucky nodded. “Well - I look better now, don’t I?”
Sam laughed, “’course you do, Buck.”
Bucky took Sam to the pathway where Sam first met Steve. They raced each other across the track. Sam was sweating but laughing. He was slightly behind Bucky.
Then Barnes stopped suddenly and Sam’s feet were lifting up from the air. He picked him up bridal style “you ass!” Sam laughed “put me down!”
Bucky continued walking and had a smug look on his face. “You're upset you didn’t beat me?” he teased.
Sam huffed “you did not need to show off your strength like that.”
“Well, now we can go back home and shower. I got a few more things up my sleeve.”
***
Sam sat at the docks, fully clean and showered. Bucky opened up a beer bottle. “Y’know...this is where I fell in love with you,” Bucky nudged him playfully.
Sam smiled “are you sure it was here James? I saw the way you looked at me in New York,”
“Okay,” he smiled “but I was sure I loved you here.” he cupped his face and kissed him softly. He reached for his pocket and pulled out the box. He was shaking. He was so nervous. He pulled out the box “and I’ll love you always, Sam.” he placed the box gently in Sam’s hands.
Sam’s heart stopped. “Bucky –” he stammered. “Bucky…”
He grabbed Sam’s hands “Sam, I want you to know that you mean everything to me. You light up my whole world. Heck, you are my whole world.”
Sam’s eyes welled up. “Sam, I only have one question to ask you and it's okay if you’re not ready yet. I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
Sam let tears fall from his eyes. He brought him closer. “Yeah,” he said tearfully “James, I wanna marry you.”
Bucky laughed and kissed him “Sam,” he wiped away his tears “Sammy, you’re trembling.”
“I’m going to be okay.” Sam smiled “‘cause I’m marrying you.”
***
Sam was crying again, but this time at the altar. “Sam, you’re so beautiful,” James whispered as he held his shaking hands and kissed them gently. Sam gave a teary laugh.
They exchanged vows.
“Sam,” Bucky began “when I first met you...as Bucky, I asked if you could move your seat up in Steve’s shitty little car. You said no. I had no idea that that ‘no’ would turn into a thousand ‘yes-es’ to come in our future. I had no idea you were the man I was going to love forever. Sam, I don’t think I got the words right. Words can’t express how much you mean to me…”
Sam continued to cry. “Sammy,” he continued “when we first started dating. I knew you were the one. Every time I saw you fight out in missions, I was worried you would be gone. But you always came home. You are my home.”
Sam wiped away his tears. “Dammit, Buck…” he laughed “alright, it’s my turn. James Bucky Barnes. What a man. Despite being pretty old, you’re a pretty great guy. At first I thought you were still an ass. Now you’re just a lovable one...Bucky, I want to spend my life with you. I know that. You know that. When you came and helped me fix my family boat, I knew there was something special between us. And there is. James, I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.”
He choked up and paused for a second. “Until the end of time, right?”
“Until the end of time.” Bucky smiled back.
***
Sam couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He was crying, crying so hard. “You alright?” a nurse asked him.
Sam let the tears fall from his face as he nodded. They had a daughter. She was so beautiful. She was wrapped up in blankets and cradled in her mother’s arms. Bucky brought a hand to Sam’s shoulder and held him close.
James Bucky Wilson-Barnes and Samuel Wilson-Barnes had a daughter. “We’re gonna start a family,” James kissed his husband on the cheek softly “I’m so proud of you, Sammy. I’m so proud of us.”
Sam gripped his husband’s hand. They were going to be a family. He always dreamt of having his own kids. Now it's true. “What would you like to name her?” Bucky’s voice was so soft.
He looked at Sam like he was an angel. “Natasha,” Sam whispered and held him closer. “Can we name her that?”
Bucky brought him closer and kissed his forehead. “Yes, Sammy. We can name her Natasha.”
***
Natasha was a few months old now. Sam held her closely as she cried. Wet tears streamed down her face. “Shh,” he said softly, “it’s okay.” His daughter cooed, her brown skin was soft and warm as she was bundled up in blankets. She stopped crying for a little while.
It was difficult to see your child cry. Sam was so used to hearing himself cry, or let himself cry. Now he’s holding his child. Crying hurts but it's needed. Natasha sometimes felt like a human alarm clock.
“You’re such a loud cryer,” he mumbled as she set her down in her crib “you know I’m Captain America. You should listen to me.”
He heard Bucky scoff. His hair was still damp from the shower, “you seriously talking to our kid like that, Samuel?”
Sam smiled at his husband and huffed lightly. “Well I finally got her settled so we can go to bed now.” he walked over and gently put his hands on Bucky’s hips and kissed his cheek. Domestic life, it was a blissful one.
“Mhm,” Bucky sighed softly “I love you so much, Sammy,”
“I know,” Sam smiled.
They held each other on the bed, legs and skin intertwined. Sam felt Bucky’s warmth, his hair and his touch. He felt his soft skin brush up against his hands. He felt the cold metal of his arm and kissed his shoulder affectionately. He caressed the creases of his arm, Bucky shivered under the touch.
“Buck your hair is still wet,” Sam mumbled as he brought him closer.
“Mhm,” he chuckled, “Let's just hope that you get some decent sleep.” He draped his arm across his waist and smiled softly.
They in fact, didn’t. Natasha was crying, again. Bucky cradled the little child in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay...Nat…Papa’s here.”
Natasha calmed down and she cooed. Bucky sighed and looked towards his husband, who was struggling to sleep under the covers. “Natasha, you’re such a loud cry…But such a little angel.”
Sam got out of bed and took their daughter in his arms. She was so tiny. So adorable. “Wait till she starts speaking,” Sam joked, “then it would be more difficult from there.”
FOUR YEARS LATER
Natasha was painting. Her fingers were covered in red and greens. It was a Saturday and she and Bucky were in the living room. “Is daddy coming home yet?” she asked.
“Almost,” he reassured. He always feared for Sam when going on missions, he always feared for his life. His daughter smeared paint on his face and he smiled “Nat, you can’t just do that–”
“I’m painting Redwing!” she protested “and green looks good on you,”
He chuckled, “you’re so talkative…” he wiped off the paint on his face. His daughter then grabs a few magnets and places it on his arm. “Also, that’s a good looking Redwing.”
“Thanks dad,” she smiled. It was a little messy but it had wings and a good background.
The door clicked open. Sam walks in, tired and weary. He drops the shield and groans. A massive headache was eating at him. Natasha lit up “Papa’s home!”
Sam leaned against the wall. Bucky stood up and walked over to his husband. “You alright, Sam?”
He could see the tears in his eyes. “Just...rough day,” Sam said softly.
Bucky hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. “We missed you,” he buried his face in his neck. “Wanna talk about it?”
Sam smiled fondly and pecked his lips “soon.”
Natasha got up from her seat, still wet and smiling with paint on her hands. The four-year-old walked over and happily laughed. “Papa!”
Sam’s face lit up. “My little angel!” Although he was bruised, slightly worn out and injured he scooped her up in his arms and laughed. “How are you?”
She smiled and looked into her eyes. “Papa I painted Redwing!”
Sam’s heart melted. “You did, Nat?”
“I did!”
He put her down and ran over to grab the painting. She held it up for him to see. Sam chuckled and kissed her forehead. “It looks great, sweety.”
Sam walked over to their bedroom and started undressing. Bucky kept a careful eye on his partner. He knocked on their door as Sam continued to wipe around tears. He took a deep breath.
“You alright, Sam?”
“Yeah,” Sam managed to get out with a shaky breath. “I’m just - so tired.”
Bucky placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You can talk to me, you know that, right?”
Sam turned around and held him. “Yeah,” he said “I’m just - gonna shower. M’kay?”
“Okay…” his voice was soft. “I’ll be out here, waiting for you - okay?” Sam nodded and went into th shower. The water was warm, refreshing. He’d need to get off the bruises and cuts soon. He stepped out, steam pouring from the door as Bucky brought him closer.
He fiddled with his pyjamas. Bucky grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet and started working on his wounds. Sam didn’t want to cry about what happened. He watched as Bucky wiped off the blood and cleaned the wounds and disinfected it. “Wanna talk about it?” his husband asked again softly.
Sam bit his lips to stop himself from crying. “Soon,” he mumbled a reply as a bandage was being put on his arm. He pauses, “it’s just...I don’t mind the fans. But sometimes it's too much, you know?”
Bucky nodded. “I understand, if you want I can be your bodyguard,” he chuckled, earning a smile from Sam.
“Well, I’m glad I’m home.” Sam smiled and started dressing “I’m glad I can come home to you...But there was a lot of blood today.”
Bucky moved closer and held him closer, letting Sam’s head rest on his shoulder. He let Sam cry in his arms. “I don't know why I’m crying,” Sam mumbled and held him close. “I just...I just see all these kids fighting and all these parents…”
His husband sighed and held him tightly “it’s okay,” he reassured “just breathe. Take a break if you need to.” Sam did. He let out all his tears and held his lover in bed. It was the most calming, comforting sensation in the world.
It was peaceful. It was quiet. Sam held him close and never let go.
This was the life he deserved.