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It was a normal day, working in the ED, dashing between traumas before he had to skip out for a CT surgery. He was double certified, which meant double the work, and really, that’s what he loved. He loved the work. He loved the focus of it, any problems he had disappearing when he stepped into a trauma room or the OR. Whatever was happening with his personal life didn’t matter if he had to focus on a patient. The patient came first always.
Although, between patients, he found his eyes tracking Will around the ED. He was beautiful, and drew the eye. Plus, it didn’t help that Connor knew what Will Halstead looked like naked, what he looked like flushed, turned on, on the edge of an orgasm. He knew exactly what Will sounded like, and that was a dangerous weapon in Connor’s mind. The thing, though, was that they weren’t progressing at all. They hooked up between cases some days, after work in Connor’s car, or if he were really lucky, Will would come home with him for a few hours. He never stayed overnight. He never stayed, and Connor had to be okay with that because this wasn’t serious. It was fun, and free, and let them chase whatever high they needed. And Connor was already thinking about that next high, following Will to the parking lot to press him into his car, and tempt him into a quickie in his car.
“Incoming!” Maggie called, and he was back into the work.
It was a normal day, and then it wasn’t. Jay came in, carrying a little blonde girl with big brown eyes, and Connor watched from the other side as Will sped towards them.
“Maggie, you got an empty exam room?” Will asked.
“Uh. Yeah. Three is cleared.”
“Can you page Nat for me?”
“Sure.”
Will lifted the girl out of Jay’s arms and carried her, kissing her on the forehead sweetly, into the bay. Connor leaned against the counter, curious, watching Will sit her on the bed and brush some loose strands of hair out of her face. Jay didn’t have any children, as far as Connor was aware, since he’d had a boyfriend since before they’d met. They didn’t have any other siblings, either. Will was a good doctor, warm and kind, but this wasn’t just a doctor’s bedside manner to a sick child. This was…
This was a father’s response to his daughter being carried into the emergency room.
“Holy shit,” he breathed.
Will Halstead was a father .
Will swore his heart stopped when he saw Jay in the doorway, Theo in his arms, her head resting against his shoulder like she couldn’t hold it up herself. He couldn’t breathe until he reached them.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I woke her up from her nap this morning and she was feeling lethargic, and didn’t want to eat her snack. She’s been cuddly all morning and asking for you. I thought she was just coming down with something until she complained about her tummy hurting, and then when she tried to stand up, she collapsed.”
“Okay,” Will said. “Hi baby, do you want to see Daddy?”
“Daddy?” she asked, one eye peeking open.
“Yeah. Hi. Come here, future congresswoman.”
He lifted her out of Jay’s arms and into his own. He kissed her forehead, testing her temperature.
“Okay. Yeah, alright. Let’s get you looked at, huh? You’ll get to meet my friend Natalie.”
“Okay,” Theo replied.
“Maggie, you got an empty exam room?” Will called.
“Uh. Yeah. Three is cleared.”
“Can you page Nat for me?”
“Sure.”
He carried Theo, Jay following, over to the trauma bay and set her on the bed carefully.
“How are you feeling, baby?” he asked.
“Bad,” Theo replied.
“I know. Daddy’s going to get you fixed up. I promise.”
She gave him the weakest smile and laid back on the mattress. He reached out and brushed one of her blonde curls from her forehead.
“Will?” Natalie asked, poking her head into the exam room. “Maggie said you - what’s - what’s going on?”
“Theo, this is my friend Natalie. She’s a doctor with me here at the hospital. Can you say hi?”
“Hi,” Theo said quietly.
“Hi Theo,” Natalie said, coming in closer. “What’s going on?”
“My tummy hurts,” Theo mumbled, “and I’m sleepy.”
“Oh, that’s not good. Let’s take a look at you and see what’s wrong. Is that okay?”
Theo nodded.
“Alright. I’m gonna listen to your chest, okay?”
Will stood off to the side while Natalie examined Theo, intentionally breathing so he didn’t panic. She’d been sick before, of course, but it wasn’t like this. She always had a smile, even when she was sick.
“Should I have brought her in sooner?” Jay asked.
“No, you did great, Jay. You got her here in time,” Will said, resting his hand on Jay’s shoulder. “You did exactly what you should have done.”
Jay let out an intentional breath and nodded.
“I just, I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
“I know,” Will said, patting his shoulder. “She’s in the best care in Chicago, though. Natalie’s got her.”
“Yeah,” Jay said.
“Daddy?” Theo said, looking up.
“Yeah, baby?”
He felt Natalie’s eyes on him, but it was more important that Theo had his attention.
“I don’t feel good,” Theo muttered, and Will reached out to grab a vomit tray just as her face went pale. He pushed the tray underneath her chin as she puked, and he cooed at her. Jay immediately rubbed her back. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, baby girl, you don’t have to apologize,” Will said, kissing her forehead. “You’re okay. We’re going to make you feel so much better.”
“Has she been feeling sick for a while?”
“She was a little lethargic last night, but the vomiting is new.”
“Okay. I’d like to run some tests.”
“Yeah, sure. Thank you, Natalie. I appreciate this.”
“I’d like a word with you, as well, if you’d like to step outside with me,” Natalie said. Jay sat down next to Theo while Natalie towed Will out of the exam room, pulling the curtain closed behind them. “What the hell, Will?”
“Okay, I know how it looks.”
“Do you? Because you have a daughter, not just a newborn, but a toddler. She’s a whole person that you have never mentioned. Never. What were you thinking?”
Maggie drew closer from the nurse’s station.
“So, you’re a father?” Maggie asked. “What’s her name?”
“Theodora,” he said softly. “Theo, for short.”
“She’s beautiful. Who’s her mother?”
“Ah, no one. No one that matters. She, uh, she walked out when Theo was a month old, so I came back to Chicago.”
“Okay,” Maggie said. “How come you never said anything?”
“It wasn’t intentional,” he said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“Well, as long as I get some cuddle time with that perfect girl, I’ll forgive you.”
“I’ll check her very busy schedule,” he said, and Maggie grinned at him. “Can you get me the intake paperwork for her?”
“I will.”
“Thanks, Maggie.”
“I have so many questions,” Natalie said.
“And I will answer them, but, Theo first, please. I won’t have any peace of mind until she’s better.”
Natalie nodded, and went to order the tests. Will moved back into the room, glancing over his shoulder and catching Connor’s eyes who was still leaning against the counter where he’d seen him last.
Connor.
Right.
He would talk to him later, explain, maybe salvage whatever this was between them. He didn’t know what it was, what the name of it was. They were good together, is what they were. Connor made the stress of the day disappear, his touch calming and his kisses electric. He had felt weird about telling Connor, not because he didn’t love Theo enough to introduce them, but because he was scared of losing Connor. Being a single parent never went down well with partners, most of them bolting as soon as he mentioned his daughter. He didn’t need them, though. He just needed her in his life, but Connor wasn’t like the others. Connor was his friend first, and then whatever they were second. Maybe Connor would understand, and maybe, maybe he would stay.
“I need to call Mouse to let him know what’s going on,” Jay said as he stepped back in. “Although, I’m pretty sure his Theo-senses are tingling pretty hard right now.”
“I’m surprised he isn’t already here.”
“Uncle Mouth?” Theo asked.
“Yeah, baby,” Jay said, “I’m gonna have Uncle Mouse come meet us.”
She let out a quiet cheer and rested her head back into the pillow behind her. Jay switched with Will as he went to call Mouse. Mouse had been a constant in Theo’s life since he’d come back to Chicago, and he was so grateful that Jay had found someone so steady. They evened each other out, and fit into this family so well.
“How are you feeling, future astronaut?”
“Bad,” she muttered.
“Oh, I know, baby,” he cooed.
“Can you sit with me?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I can sit with you.”
She patted the bed next to her for him, and he let down the rail so he could climb into the bed with her, lifting her into his lap carefully.
“There we go,” he said. “Is that better?”
She nodded.
“Good. We want you to be comfy, huh.”
“Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“Who’s that?”
She lifted her hand and pointed up in front of her. He followed her finger and found Connor waiting in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said softly.
“Hi,” Connor replied.
“Theo, this is Connor. He’s another friend of mine. He works at the hospital with me. Can you say hi to Connor?”
“Hi,” she said shyly.
“Hi Theo. It’s really nice to meet you finally.”
There was an edge to Connor’s voice that only Will could have picked up on. He sighed, and sat down on the chair Will had left. Will took out his phone and passed it to his daughter to distract her. She rested back against Will’s chest, her body still hot against him.
“Can we talk about, about this?” Connor asked, subtly gestured to Theo in his lap.
“Yeah, I, uhhh, I’m sorry. I didn’t, I didn’t mean to keep it from you, but - I had been lying already for almost a year when you came into the ED that day. It wasn’t intentional, I swear, it just happened, and then it was too late. At what point do I say oh hey by the way I’m a dad? The first time in the elevator, or after drinks, or in your car?”
“Anytime would have been better than never, Will.”
“I know, but I couldn’t. It felt, it felt wrong to just drop on you out of nowhere after so much time.”
“Okay, how did it start?” Connor asked.
Will looked down at Theo, playing weakly in his arms.
“I’ve been raising Theo alone since she was a month old, her mom walked out on us unexpectedly, and it’s just been us since. I brought her home to Chicago to get some help from Jay and Mouse, but it’s still just Theo and I. It’s my job to take care of her, to make sure she’s okay, that she’s safe . Do you know what happened on my first day here? The ED exploded. There was an explosion inside of the hospital.”
“Okay.”
“That morning, I was going to bring her with me, to the daycare, because I wanted her nearby, and both Jay and Mouse were working. Except, Mouse took the day off, and I could leave Theo with him instead. I was, I was one text away from bringing my baby girl with me. I can’t even imagine that, you know, losing her. So, she doesn’t come to the hospital. She has a small family care practice she goes to for her check-ups, but she doesn’t go to the hospital. I won’t let her. I can’t.”
He looked down at Theo, tucked against him, safe, and pressed a kiss to her forehead to remind himself that Theo was there, that she was real, that she wasn’t going anywhere.
“No one asked, you know, about kids, and I didn’t bring her up because then, then, people would ask me to bring her in, and I couldn’t. And then, it was too late. How could I just randomly say, oh hey I have a kid, she’s great, I love her when I’d never mentioned her once before? It was too weird, too awkward. And then, then I met you, and I wanted to. I wanted to say something, but -”
“Alright,” Monique said, pulling the curtain open, “I heard there’s a sick little girl who needs to have some tests done in here.”
Connor and Will looked up at her, and she paused.
“I could come back?”
“No,” Connor said. “No, you’re alright. I’ll go, let you do your job.”
Connor stepped away, and Monique moved in. She talked to Theo gently, and this was why Will always liked Monique. She had excellent bedside manner, like all of their ED nurses. He would take all of them over a single doctor from New York. If anyone was going to help his daughter, he wanted it to be them.
Connor didn’t know what to do with this information, moving out of the trauma bay as Maggie called for his help in Baghdad. Will had a child. Will had a three year old that he had never told him about. A whole child that he hadn’t told anyone about, not even Natalie. Jay and some guy named Mouse, apparently, got to know, and Connor could understand keeping her out of the hospital after an explosion. But never even mentioning her?
He couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t, not when there were patients to help, and people to save. He could think about Will, and his daughter, and that complete mess of a situation when he was out of his scrubs at the end of his shift, but until then, Will Halstead didn’t exist.
Will wasn’t sitting in a trauma bay with a small child in his lap.
Will hadn’t lied to him for three years.
Will didn’t hold at least part of Connor’s heart in his hand and use it so carelessly.
Until he clocked out, he didn’t have to think about Will Halstead.
Except he did. Except he did very well, or so he thought. He knew how Will liked to be touched, and held. He knew how Will’s mouth pulled down when he’d had a bad day, and how his hair got wild after a difficult case from his hands pulling through it. He knew exactly how to calm Will down, too, not just with sex, but by listening, by touching his cheek, by calling him sunshine and teasing him sweetly. He knew how Will put his head on Connor’s chest, and curled into Connor’s side in his bed, even though he had several inches on him. He knew that Will was undoubtedly submissive, and the little spoon, which was perfect for Connor who loved to hold him against his chest. He knew that, unfortunately and unexpectedly, he loved Will. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just a fling for him.
He could still remember the first time they’d hooked up, holding Will in place in a stopped elevator. Will had whined and pleaded, and it had been beautiful. It had sparked a need in his belly, a need shaped like following Will into supply closets and enticing him into his car after a long day. Will followed him, too, catching him between cases to ask him for drinks, or kissing him where no one could see. They pursued each other, and it felt nice. That mutual heat, it still burned in Connor’s gut.
“You look miserable,” Maggie said.
“I’m fine,” he said softly.
“Is it Will?”
“No. Why would it be Will?”
“He’s been hiding stuff for three years, lying to all of us, so I imagine it’s harder to hear when you’re close to him.”
“Close?” Connor asked. “What makes you say that we’re close?”
Maggie smirked and said softly, “I’ve seen your matching hickeys, Doctor Rhodes. I’m not an idiot.”
“Matching -”
She tapped the side of her neck, and his hand lifted to cover it. He knew exactly what she was talking about, but he’d thought that Will had at least hidden it underneath his collar where no one could see it.
“Right.”
“I can’t imagine what I would do in your position,” Maggie said, shaking her head, “but I can imagine where Will was coming from, too.”
“You can?”
“I’d do anything to keep my kid safe.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Mags. Thanks.”
Maggie smiled at him before moving away from Connor to do her job. He looked across the ED in the trauma bay where Monique was carefully inserting an IV into Theo’s arm. She was sick enough to need fluids, and Connor couldn’t imagine why he was so mad at Will when his eyes were wide, and scared, and worried .
“Everything alright in here?” Connor asked, poking his head in later. Will looked up from Theo coloring in his lap, and smiled weakly at him. Jay had returned, as well as a man Connor didn’t really recognize with brown hair and blue eyes, who Connor assumed was Mouse mentioned earlier.
“Yeah,” Will replied. “Everything’s okay. Just getting some antibiotics and fluids.”
“That’s good to hear, that it’s nothing serious.”
“Yeah.”
They looked at each other for a long moment, Connor trying to figure out exactly what to say to him about this.
“Get a room,” Mouse said.
“Get a woom,” Theo echoed, and Connor could see Will and Jay trying not to laugh, the way they both clamped their mouths shut and looked away from Theo.
“Baby, that’s not - you can’t say that,” Will said, and the joy in his eyes was palpable.
“Uncle Mouth did!” she protested.
“Yeah, but Uncle Mouse is a grown-up, remember?”
“I’m a grown-up!”
“No, Teddy Bear, you’re not,” Jay said gently. “You’re a little baby, remember? Little babies get naps, and swing time.”
“Swing time?” she asked.
“Yeah, you get feeling better and Uncle Mouse and I will swing you all around, yeah? How’s that sound?”
“Yeah!” she said.
Connor looked at Will, who nodded at him.
“Hey future archaeologist,” Will said. “I’m gonna leave you with Uncle Jay and Uncle Mouse, okay? They’re gonna be right here if you need anything, or if you need me. They’re gonna be right there.”
“Okay,” she said, and he pressed a kiss into her cheek. “I’ll make you a picture.”
“Yeah, I’ll hang it up in my cubby at the hospital.”
“Can I make Monipe a picture?” she asked.
“You can! I’m sure she would love a picture from the next future Picasso.”
“Who’s Pipatho?”
“He’s an artist,” Will said. “Or he was. I’m not, I’m not quite sure.”
He moved her off his lap and set her on the mattress carefully.
“Okay, I’ll be a Pipatho.”
“Yeah, you will.” He kissed her on the forehead again and left the room, catching Connor’s elbow on the way out, turning to Jay. “Hey, have Maggie or Monique page me if anything changes.”
“Sure thing.”
Will towed Connor through the ED and into the elevators.
“Now’s not the time for -”
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Connor. We’re not fucking in the elevator.”
He pressed the top floor button, and held his hand against Connor’s chest as if holding him back momentarily. It wasn’t necessary, but the weight of his hand against his chest was a nice reminder that maybe this wasn’t over.
“Don’t,” Will said as Connor opened his mouth. “Hold on.”
“ You’re telling me I have to wait?” Connor asked with a laugh. “Seriously? After what happened in the ED?”
“I just don’t want anyone to hop on the elevator in the middle of you yelling at me for this.”
Connor waited, and when they were finally out on the roof, overlooking the Chicago skyline, he let out a breath.
“I get it,” Connor said. “I do. I get it, Will. You were protecting your daughter from the worst things in the world. I’m not, I’m not blaming you for wanting to keep her away from the death and darkness that the ED brings sometimes. That’s perfectly understandable. What I don’t get is why you never told me. We’ve been, maybe not dating, but we’ve been something for the last year and a half. Nowhere in that time span could you have found a way to tell me?”
“No,” Will said, leaning against the railing. “Not without changing everything.”
“And you didn’t want things to change? Because you’d rather sneak around in the shadows, only fuck in my car, never stay the - oh, that’s why you never brought me back to yours. You had a kid at home.”
“Yeah. And when you’d ask me to stay, but I said I had to meet up with Jay, it’s because I had to pick Theo up.”
“Right.”
“Look, I didn’t want things to change, yes. But, not the way you think.”
“No?”
“No! I - every time I went on a date with someone before you got here, I’d tell them about Theo, that I have sole custody of her and my life revolves around her, and they’d never call me back. They’d bail, and that’s, whatever. Whatever, I don’t need a step-mom or dad for Theo. I’ve got Mouse and Jay to support me, and my dad loves Theo so much, so I don’t need someone to raise Theo with me. But, some companionship past the first date would be nice.”
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, ruining whatever neat styling he'd done that morning before work.
"You thought I'd stop calling?" Connor asked.
"No," Will said, "yes. I don't know. I didn't know how you would react. I didn't want, I didn't want to change anything if it meant that it would end."
"You were afraid that I'd end things, and you didn't want that."
"No," Will said and it was quiet, words almost gone in the wind. "I don't know what I'd do, if you, if we stopped, I -"
Connor stepped up to the railing and touched Will by the elbow with just fingertips. Will looked up at him, and sighed, leaning towards him.
"Hey," Connor said. "Can I tell you something?"
"What's that?"
"I want to take you on a date."
"You do?"
"I want to take you on a lot of dates, but I'll take one to start with."
"Even after this?"
"Yeah, especially after this. Will, I've thought you were just using me for sex and I was okay with that. I didn't want to ask for more than you wanted to give me, but I wanted more. So, yeah, I want to take you on a date."
Will caught his hand on his elbow and they slotted their hands together, fitting strangely well.
"One thing, though," Connor said gently.
"Anything."
"We need to take this slow. No sleepovers, no hooking up in elevators, nothing. I don't blame you, but it still hurts that you lied for that long, and I want to go slow moving into this."
"Okay. That's fine. No sleepovers."
"Okay," Connor said.
"And Connor?"
"Yeah?"
"I am sorry," Will said. "You're right, I should have been honest with you, even if it meant potentially losing you. It was wrong to keep that from you. I won't do anything like that again."
"Come here," Connor said, pulling him close and pausing. "Can I kiss you?"
"I would really like that," Will replied, and Connor kissed him. It wasn't their first kiss, of course, that had been rushed and desperate in an elevator car before Connor had made Will come in his scrubs. This was different, soft, sweet, lingering. There was no rush to this kiss, no desperation, no hunger. It was a promise of something more to come, a promise of the future spread out in front of them. Will pulled away first with a whine and rested his forehead against Connor's. "I can't kiss you like that if there's no sleepovers, Connor."
Connor chuckled and kissed him again.
"Alright, one sleepover, then, when Theo's better. I'm going to take you out to a fancy dinner that you're going to let me pay for without arguing with me, and I'll bring you back to my place for a very, very thorough sleepover."
Will sighed and tipped Connor's chin up enough to kiss him again without straining. This one lasted a while, Connor moving to press Will into the railing behind him, slipping his hands around his hips almost possessively. They weren't the only ones who used the roof to get away from the stress of the medical system, of course, but neither of them could care.
"Hey," Will finally said. "Do you want to properly meet my daughter?"
Connor let out a breath into the space between their lips and said, "yeah, that'd be perfect."