Chapter Text
“Indonesia… Indonesia… Indonesia…”
Time really flew in Indonesia. They were only there for two nights, and they were so busy with work that they didn’t get to see any of the country. Except while in the car, driving to the different locations. That was nothing knew, this happened to them in most places they were visiting. They couldn’t waste their time on things other than work… as long as the camera crew wasn’t going with them to record their trips, of course. If so, the management made sure they had time for some sightseeing and other fun things. But this was not one of those times.
Everything went surprisingly smooth, as long as they ignored how Jin was constantly fighting with Taehyung over the smallest of things, that is. It was as if Taehyung had made it his life goal to drive his Hyung insane.
“I have it under control!” was the only thing Jin kept saying every time Yoongi or Namjoon gave him an annoyed look. He was completely hopeless, and so very stubborn. And stressed. Taehyung was undoubtably very stressed too, and very angry.
Jimin had tried to talk to his best friend, but it had only ended up with them both crying. It was a mess.
Somehow they still managed to give the Indonesian Army their 110 %. It might sound like a miracle but Stage Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Rap Monster, Stage Jimin, V and Stage Jungkook knew what they were doing. Their personas were stronger, more confident, happier and better in every single way. At least if you were to ask the seven boys. The seven personas were impressing them all, more so than they were impressing Army. When they were up on stage, everything else was forgotten. Nothing else but here and now was important. Everything was amazing.
Sometimes they all were jealous of their personas. If they could be just as cool, as strong and as happy, then nothing would hurt them ever again.
Jungkook hugged his legs while staring at nothing. His thoughts had taken him far, far away. This was the third day without Sertraline and he didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t as tired as he had been. It was still difficult to concentrate and he was feeling a bit on edge. The stress was just under his skin, like a lion hiding among the high grass on the savanna… It was just waiting for the right moment to strike. Jungkook tried to stay calm. He tried to stay positive. He must remember his persona, and he must remember that he was just as strong as the person he was up on stage…
People were rushing about and time went slowly. Everyone was tired and bored.
They were sitting at the Soekarno-Hatta airport in Jakarta, waiting for their flight back to Korea. Only thirty-three minutes left until the gate opened… no, thirty-two…
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“NOO!!”
“YAAH!”
“Oh my god, please!!” Namjoon shouted at Jin and Taehyung. He was honestly losing his shit with them both. They didn’t do anything but fight and he had had enough. If he could, he would’ve taken them to the restroom and given them a good spanking. Didn’t they all wish they could at this point?!
Both Jin and Taehyung shut up; it was a stupid argument anyway.
Silence struck them.
Yoongi was watching Namjoon with interest. Their former leader had been more like a leader during this trip than their actual leader. It was nice seeing Namjoon returning to himself, although Yoongi could tell his dongsaeng was stopping himself many times. It was obvious that Namjoon had questioned himself every time he’d gone into leader mode but then remembered that he wasn’t the leader any longer. It seemed like a confusing feeling for him. The older rapper could tell Namjoon was still carrying a lot of guilt that was pulling him down.
It was like shackles kept holding him down.
Yoongi couldn’t stop but feel hopeful though, despite his dongsaeng’s inner struggles. He strongly believed in “once a leader, always a leader”. He knew Namjoon would be back at the position soon; he just had to forgive himself first.
The rapper glanced at Jimin. He knew the boy had struggled to forgive Namjoon as well, but they were slowly but surely getting closer again. It was just a matter of time.
A matter of time? If Namjoon knew what Yoongi was thinking, he would’ve disagreed. He wasn’t ready to become their leader, and he didn’t think the others were either. Especially not Jin and Jimin. He needed them all to be ready, before then, he would have to deal with the aggravating fact that their new leader was Jin. He’d hoped Yoongi would come to his senses though and take over the role. It would be great if he did before they all went crazy!
Seokjin was a great friend and Hyung, but he was no leader. He had no clue what he was doing more than half of the time, and he forgot to lead them most of the time. Namjoon wasn’t sure how many times he and Hobi had to take over because Jin was creating more chaos than control. Just this morning! They had been lucky they’d had Hobi who kept track of them at the hotel or they might’ve missed their flight.
A light bulb suddenly went on in his head - Hobi!!
Namjoon just got a wonderful idea. If Yoongi didn’t want to be their leader; then Hobi should give it a try! He was great at leading them on the dance floor, he would probably do great leading them outside of the dance floor as well, just like this morning!!
As fast as he got a moment, he was going to talk to his friend. The feeling of excitement grew. Namjoon couldn’t believe why he hadn’t thought of this before! Neither him nor Yoongi!
The rapper felt very hopeful for the first time in a very long time when it came to this unfortunate situation. He was happy, and he couldn’t stop but stare at his friend who was sitting on the bench on the opposite side of him.
Hobi noticed how Namjoon was staring, and he gave him a big sunshine smile. It didn’t register with Namjoon at first, but when he saw it, he smiled back. Yeah, Hobi would work well, but of course, compared to Jin, most would…
“No, no, no”, Hobi said without even a second thought and shook his head. “That’s not going to happen.”
Jimin pouted at his Hyung's protests. They were sitting at the kitchen table the very next morning after coming back from Indonesia. In front of him was a bowl of spicy kimchi stew. It contained different vegetables and tofu; only ingredients that were on Jimin’s ‘safe’-list. Yeah, Hobi had made him write a list of food he considered safe so he could eat easier, and still Jimin was fussing. Sometimes for a minute and sometimes for an hour, six times per day, every day. It was like a never-ending battle. The rapper understood that it was incredibly tough for his dongsaeng, but it was tough for him too, to always have to nag and give out threats all the time. Hobi would be lying if he said he didn’t wish to give up some days and just let Jimin starve himself. Life would be much easier, but the rapper would never let that happen, not even on days when he was really struggling with his own patience. He could never give up on his dongsaeng, ever.
“Jiminie, trust me”, he said and put his palms flat on the table. “We’ve already had this discussion many times now, it’s not going to happen, you’re not going to get fat.”
Jimin didn’t look convinced. “How do you know?” he asked.
“I know.”
“How?” Jimin was always extra stubborn when it was time for a meal.
“By counting the calories”, Hobi answered with a sigh. “Come on, eat.” He nodded at the stew and Jimin groaned miserably. The anxiety was evil to him, and it made him want to argue more. Much more.
He was staring at Hobi as if to see on what level of “annoyed” he was at. Jimin figured it was okay and said:
“Maybe you counted wrong?”
“Do you want me to call for Yoongi and see if he can count it better?” the rapper asked with a pointed look and the younger shook his head.
“No.”
“Then eat before it gets too cold.”
Jimin started to squirm on his chair and the spoon he’d been holding for a couple of minutes now, he immediately dropped into the stew. Restlessness was itching under his skin, and it felt like the fat was growing on his cheeks, under his chin and around his wrists.
“Jimin-ah”, Hobi warned, sounding much sterner than before and it was with a loud sigh that Jimin yet again grabbed his spoon. He was staring at it for a while, debating whether it was worth it or not.
The rapper’s patience reached its limit and he stood up from his chair. “Okay, I’ll go get Yoongi and see if he can help you wi…”
“No, I’ll eat, I’ll eat!” Jimin interrupted him and started eating. One bite and then a second and a third. He barely had time to taste the food before he swallowed it. Like an overly eager dog.
The rapper sighed with an eye roll before sitting down again. He was drained, barely had energy to think at all. He mindlessly pulled at his lower lip, while checking the time on his phone that was lying next to him on the table.
13:39.
They’ve been sitting here for thirty-two minutes. Hobi definitely had wished to spend this time on something more fun and more productive than trying to make Jimin eat. Today and tomorrow were their only days off in three weeks, and he was tired of wasting so much time on this. He loved and cared for Jimin and he wished him nothing but health and happiness, but it didn’t stop him from feeling sick of this constant nagging. If it was once per day perhaps, but it was at least three times per day, and during a really bad day it could be during all six mealtimes. The rapper didn’t know how much more patience he would have left if this didn’t change for the better real soon.
That the situation was going to change for the better was something Jin wished as well. For Jimin and his struggle with food, of course, but at the moment he was too preoccupied with Taehyung to think about anything else.
“Taehyungie, I told you already, three times actually”, he pointed out annoyed where he was standing in the boy’s room. “Get ready, we need to leave!”
They were going to their first appointment with the psychologist today, and Taehyung had promised to be good and try his hardest. It didn’t start well though, the brat was still wearing his pyjamas even though it was passed one o’clock.
“Tae?”
Taehyung didn’t answer, he was too busy playing a game on his laptop. He was almost winning.
“Do you hear what I’m saying?” Jin asked and put his hands on his hips. “Taehyung-ah, listen to me!”
Taehyung seemed to refuse and the older was tired of being ignored. Although they still were good with time, they didn’t have all day. Jin watched his dongsaeng for a few more seconds before he reached forward and slammed shut the laptop.
“HEY!”
“No, don’t ‘hey’ me”, Jin interrupted Taehyung before he could say anything more. “You listen to me now. We’ve been fighting non-stop since your doctor’s appointment, and I’m honestly getting fed up. When are you going to understand that I’m just trying to help you? I’m not your enemy!”
Taehyung frowned and looked the other direction. “You’re annoying”, he muttered with a huff.
“Why are you so angry with me?” Jin didn’t at all understand why his dongsaeng was like this. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this disrespect. “Taehyung-ah?”
Taehyung turned his head back at his Hyung and their eyes met. “Because you’re annoying!” he spat.
Jin didn’t want to, but he was getting angry. Really angry! “I’m counting to five, if you haven’t started by then, I will put you over my knee.”
Taehyung wasn’t the least bit worried about that threat and reached for his laptop instead. “I will, chill”, he murmured but couldn’t open up his computer before Jin grabbed his arm and forced him up from the desk chair.
“No, I’m not going to chill, come on”, the older said and pushed him towards the wardrobe. “Get ready.”
“Annoying”, Taehyung muttered under his breath but did as he was told and started looking for some clothes.
He tried to stay calm, but he was nervous, he wasn’t sure he wanted to meet this psychologist. He’d never met one ever before and he had no idea what to expect. It made him very uneasy. If Taehyung could, he would stay home but that wasn’t an option, because although he didn’t want to admit it out loud, he knew that he needed help. He’d come to realize that lately. He thought he could fix it himself but he couldn’t. He hated that his Hyungs were right about that, and he was especially angry with Jin for being right. It was a childish anger, but Taehyung couldn’t stop from feeling how it was boiling hot inside of his body.
The boiling anger only grew when he heard Yoongi’s voice in the bedroom. What did he want now?!
“Hyung”, the rapper said. “I can go with him if…”
“No, it’s okay”, Jin cut him off. “I have it under control.”
“Taehyung-ah”, Yoongi turned to the younger, too tired of hearing how Jin always had things ‘under control’. “Why are you not dressed yet?”
Taehyung turned around to face his Hyung and shouted: “I’M ON IT!”
Wrong move. Yoongi was quickly by his side, and before Taehyung had a chance to even register what was going on, he was tilted forward. The first smack landed on his pyjama clad behind and it didn’t take long before more smacks rained down.
It wasn’t too painful, but he wasn’t going to lie – Yoongi had a surprisingly hard hand. It stung uncomfortably and he didn’t like it.
Taehyung bit his lower lip. Although the younger wanted to get away, he didn’t dare to. He understood he’d been disrespectful enough as it was already, and he didn’t want to make it worse.
Burning; his entire body was on fire. It wasn’t the anger burning but the humiliation. He preferred a belting before being swatted like this. He hated to be treated like a naughty toddler, and this made him feel just like one.
After the fifteenth smack had fallen, he was let go.
“You might get away with that behaviour around Seokjin-Hyung”, Yoongi said firmly with a warning finger pointing at him. “But if you ever scream at me like that again, I will give you a switching, is that understood?”
Taehyung massaged his butt from the stinging sensation and was just about to answer when he was interrupted.
“Yoongi-yah, I don’t wan…”
“No, Hyung”, Yoongi cut Jin off. “If he disrespects you, well fine, I’ve stopped caring, but I won’t be talked to like that, and you can complain about it as much as you want to but I won’t let him get away with it.”
“But he’s just very nervous for this appointment.”
“And that’s why I went easy on him!” Yoongi said, with irritation scratching his voice. Jin looked like he wanted to argue but didn’t get a chance. Yoongi was not interested and had already turned back to his dongsaeng. “Now, get dressed, I’ll go with you to that psychologist, so hurry up.”
“No, you won’t”, Jin protested.
“Yes, I will!” Yoongi talked back. “You think I can’t handle it?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” the rapper was obstinate, he really wanted to hear what Jin was going to answer to that question.
“It’s better if I go”, Jin said, completely avoiding giving the question an answer. Yoongi wasn’t satisfied and therefore asked:
“Why?”
“Because I say so.”
The younger frowned. “Why don’t you want to answer my question properly?”
“I have no obligation to give you any answers, dongsaeng”, was the only thing Jin said before moving on. “I’ll go.”
“Or I can go?”
Jin and Yoongi turned to the door where Hobi was standing. Neither of them had noticed him coming.
“You?” Jin asked, not sounding at all convinced. Memories from the night before their trip to Indonesia came to him. He remembered how Hoseok had thanked him for trusting him. Jin really wanted to trust him. “Hm…”, the thought. “Are you sure?”
“Of course”, Hobi said a bit offended by his Hyung. “I thought you said you trusted me, so why do you keep looking so sceptical whenever I want to help?”
“I’m not”, Jin disagreed. “I just know that you have a lot as it is already with Jimin.”
“And I need a break from all of that”, the younger said and turned to his dongsaeng. “So what do you say, TaeTae? Do you want me to come with you?”
“Yes”, Taehyung answered without a second thought. As long as he got far away from Jin and Yoongi, he was satisfied.
“Great”, Hobi said with a bright smile and turned his back to all three of them. “Then that’s decided”, was the last thing he said before leaving the room.
Neither Jin nor Yoongi were sure what just happened, but apparently they just agreed on that Hobi was going to go with Taehyung. That was fine, at least if you asked Yoongi. He didn’t care about who went, as long as it wasn’t Jin.
Jin wasn’t as satisfied but decided to not fight about it. Taehyung looked happy enough, so perhaps that was a good sign. He could at least hope it was.