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The Atasuki didn’t much care what their members did in their free time as long as they didn’t get into trouble. You could make money on the side, go on murderous binges, or adopt an orphan. Not that acquiring a child was planned but one of Itachi's first missions with Atasuki was to assassinate her criminal parents. The neglected little girl latched onto him for affection and, against his better judgement, he became attached. Itachi was soft for children and Kisame soft for Itachi. WIth some effort they were managing to keep her a secret. And even if the others did suspect, why would they care? Just another weakness to exploit.
...
A temporary encampment overlooked a lake. Itachi sat in the center of their camp, tending the small camp fire, reading, and half keeping an eye on Kiko and Samehada. Kisame dove for dinner, catching them with his hands rather than jutsu just for fun. While also keeping tabs on the girl playing in the reeds. Samehada may have decided she liked Kiko but the sword was far from tame. If Kiko annoyed her for any reason, Samehada wouldn’t hesitate to bite. That hadn’t happened yet, Kiko was smart enough to tread carefully with the sword, But kids also liked to push boundaries so the two were never left alone.
Did Samehada have this much personality when Kisame picked her up? Had she grown in the time they were together? Was she just mimicking Kisame after so long together? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answers. Itachi could ponder on it for both of them, part of why they were a good team. He did know that Samehada hungered for Itachi’s chakra during their first meeting. He held Samehada at Itachi’s shoulder and she was eager to eat him. At some point she’d stopped. Now adays she’d even let him wield her, in an emergency. The fact that Itachi only ever tried when it was an emergency, seemed to earn her respect.
Maybe because Kiko was born with massive chakra reserves, maybe because she had thick gray hair that looked oddly reminiscent of Samehada’s scales when cut the right way, maybe just because Kisame and Itachi immediately fell in love with the spirited little girl. Or maybe because Kiko loudly proclaimed “She’s not a sword! She’s alive!” when she first heard Samehada growl. Whatever the reason, Samehada had decided Kiko was her baby and was determined to teach her to absorb chakra. A technique that thanks to her earth-natured chakra, Kiko was getting the hang of scarily quickly.
At the shoreline, Kiko caught a small animal. “Kiko, use your hands.” Itachi called without looking up. Kisame breached the surface in time to hear Kiko grumble. Still, she obediently kept the critter in her hands to suck out it’s chakra rather than place it between her teeth like Samehada taught her.
Kisame chuckled and carried his catch to the camp. Kiko ran over to proudly display the guppy she’d killed. Samehada growled approvingly before crawling onto Kisame’s back. Playing with Kiko wore her out. Kisame set the toddler to work cleaning a fish he’d caught for just that purpose, while he gutted the ones they were actually going to eat. There probably wouldn’t be much meat left on Kiko’s fish when she finished butchering it.
Itachi interrupted by coughing so loudly and suddenly that Kiko (who was usually really careful with knives) slip and cut her finger. Itachi waved at Kisame to help her with this minor cut even while he continued to choke. Itachi finally managed to get his breathing under control. Kiko abandoed her fish to crawl into his lap.
Kisame looked at his small family and made a decision. “Itachi, we can’t continue like this.”
…
Kisame cornered Kakuzu when he was working on records alone. “How much am I worth alive?”
Kakuzu barely glanced up at the random question, more annoyed at being disturbed than anything. “What?”
“How much am I worth to the Akatsuki? I know you keep track of that shit. If it falls below our bounty price we’re dead, right?”
“Within a certain degree. Your value partially depends on our leaders’ plans and who they have in their sights as back up. Why?”
“I need a loan.”
He got a greedy glint in his eyes but then reconsidered. “Will you be alive long enough to repay it?”
“I’ve got my bounty price as collateral. I don’t pay you back in a year, you send in my head, how much can I get for that?”
“With interest…” He scribbled a few calculations and then set a stack of coins on the table.
“That’s it? Are you counting the bounty on Samehada?” Kakuzu doubled it. Kisame frowned then seemed to make a decision. “Both my and Itachi’s bounties, then.” Kakuzu gave him a disbelieving look but decided it wasn’t his problem.
…
Being a member of Akatsuki had certain perks. Mainly being a high ranking member Amegakure and free access to village resources no questions asked. With a village information network at his disposal, it was easy enough to track down one woman who wasn’t trying to hide.
Kisame ditched the Akatsuki cloak but not the rest of his mission clothes. The town saw a lot of travelers, including nin, so he didn’t stand out too much, more than usual anyway.
His first stop was the largest bar in town, which already had a decent crowd at mid-afternoon. A quick word with the barkeep pointed him to a card table in the back.
“Heard a medical nin for hire hangs out here.” The less dedicated gamblers decided their hands weren’t worth Kisame’s looming presence and left.
“Who’s asking?” She looked up then snorted. “Never mind. I don’t work for missing nin.”
“I’m a criminal but my husband’s not. He’s the one who’s sick.”
“Ask someone else.” Tsunade went back to her game.
Undeterred, he set a picture on her pile of cards. Kisame holding a small child, the toddler beamed at the camera while Kisame smiled at the kid. “Our kid, Kiko. She’s four and at this rate will loose her Mama by age six. We’ve already talked to other medics. We need someone better.” She looked contemplative so he sweetened the pot with a bag of cash. “A portion of your fee up front.”
Tsunade grabbed the coin purse.
…
A day later, a knock sounded on the door of Tsunade’s cheap rental house. Shizune opened the door. Kisame took up most of the doorway. His left arm wrapped defensively around the teenager tucked against his chest. The smaller man allowed Kisame protectively at his back, and in turn held a young girl. As if he wanted to be recognized, Itachi already had his sharingan activated.
Tsunade yanked her apprentice away from the dangerous men and squared her shoulders to them, ready for a fight.
“Oh fuck no! I said I don’t treat criminals and you bring me the clan slayer!” the child in his arms was clearly the only thing keeping her from attacking Itachi.
Itachi answered calmly. “I completed an assassination mission as ordered and am currently on a deep undercover assignment.”
“Bullshit.”
With an exaggerated motion, he handed her a scroll. “I was supposed to burn this, of course, but given the nature of my assignment…”
Tsunade snatched the mission scroll out if his hand and unrolled it. Everyone waited while she read. Tsunade glared at the signatures at the bottom. “Why?”
“The clan was planning a rebellion. I was given the option to complete the mission and spare my brother or die with them.” Itachi answered both, ‘why would they order this’ and ‘why would you agree’.
Without a word, Tsunade elbowed her way past Kisame, out the door. A second later they heard something breaking in the distance. If Shizune was fazed by any of this, she didn’t show it. She waved them inside and directed Itachi to sit on the exam table so she could take his vitals. Itachi tried to pass Kiko to Kisame but the little girl insisted on sitting on the table next to him, instead.
A few minutes later Tsunade returned. The mission scroll was nowhere in sight. “Anything else to share?” She glared at both men.
“Kiri is fucked up,” Kisame said with a grin.
“Kiko and Kisame were not part of my mission and never will be.”
Tsunade glanced to Kisame for confirmation, he just shrugged, “Can’t help who you fall in love with. The Akatsuki are full of lies anyway.” He grinned at Itachi as part of an inside joke. “In my defense, I didn’t know shit about genjutsu.”
Tsunade considered a minute longer then made up her mind. “Alright Uchiha,”
“Hoshigaki.” Itachi interrupted. “Hoshigaki Itachi and Kiko.” He rested a hand lightly on the little girl’s head as he said this. Kisame looked smug as hell.
Tsunade snorted in amusement. “Turn those off, I’m not going to fight you.”
“Really?” Kiko asked incredulously even as Itachi deactivated his eyes.
“Really, so you can put that away too.”
“Hn.” Kiko eyed Tsunade wearily but slipped her kuni into her sleeve. Kisame snickered and held out his hands for her. She reluctantly let him carry her away from Itachi.
“Shizune, what are we looking at?” Drama out of the way, Tsunade went into medic-mode.
“Alveolar hemorrhage.” Shizune ran green glowing hands over his back. “I’m sensing damage through his entire cardiovascular system.”
“Any symptoms other than lung damage?” She asked Itachi.
“Fatigue, chest pain, lowered chakra reserves, accelerated loss of vision.” She’d treated Uchiha during the war, she would know about the side effects of Sharingan. “Anbu medic gave me these to manage the symptoms.” He offered a scroll, which Shizune took. Tsunade didn’t even glance at it.
“Shizune, take his stupid nail polish off. You, lean forward.” Tsunade poked his side in several places, shone a light in one of his eyes and finally examined the blood under his nails with a tsk.
“Well, you know what’s wrong with him or not?” demanded Kisame.
“Yeah, I know what it is.” Tsunade leaned back and crossed her arms. “Textbook case of a rare autoimmune disease. Your immune system is attacking your small blood vessels.” She nodded to Shizune, who started actively healing the damage.
“What’s that mean?” Kiko asked.
“The parts of my blood that kill germs are confused and are also attacking my veins,” Itachi offered a child’s explanation.
“Oh, can you tell his blood to stop being stupid?” She asked Tsunade.
“It’s not that simple,” Tsunade said this not-unkindly. “Any treatment to slow down progression of the illness suppress the immune system. Which makes it easier to catch a cold or die from infection, not recommended for a shinobi. The only real option is to regularly visit a medic nin who can repair the damage.
“Of course, meditation and management of chakra coils could improve proper immune function. But I doubt that will help in your case.” Tsunade added with a nasty glare that meant Itachi better hate himself for what he did.
“Will he die from this or not?” Kisame tried to move things along.
“Not if he gets treatment.” Tsunade watched the two men make subtle faces at each other. Obviously there as a deeper context she was missing. After a second, Itachi seemed to loose the silent argument. Kisame grinned like an idiot.
“How often will I need a medic?”
…
Kisame and Itachi stood on a hill looking towards Konoha. “You sure about this, Itachi?”
“This is our best opportunity.”
“If shit goes sideways, we’re going with my plan.”
“Last resort only.”
A small hand tugged his sleeve for attention. “Is this where you were born?”
…
The moment they entered Konoha, Itachi sent a disguised shadow clone to speak with Danzo. He stated his demands and his ultimatum; “You might be able to kill me, your forces may be able to kill my partner. But can you do so without revealing yourself?” When Danzo hesitated, Itachi added, “He will take as much of Konoha with him as possible.”
Itachi’s clone successfully made it in and out of Root headquarters and joined them at the tea shop. The clone handed Itachi a scroll then wandered off it dismiss itself. Kisame waited for Itachi to indicate mission success. Itachi gave him a subtle nod but obviously intended to finish his tea. He slipped an extra dumpling under the table so Kisame didn’t worry about sticking around a few extra minutes.
Someone mentioned Sasuke’s name and Itachi flinched. He stood to leave.
“Subtle,” Kisame teased him. Itachi gave him a look that meant, ‘shut up’ a look Kisame knew very well by now.
They tried to slip out of the village without causing a fuss. A man and a woman confronted them at the border. The Konoha nin stupidly didn’t retreat when they recognized who they were up against. Kisame smirked at them and attacked first. He attacked with a telegraphed overhead swing, easy to dodge. The man caught it with two hand blades.
The woman pulled back, flashing through hand signs and throwing weapons in Itachi’s direction as a distraction. She caught Kisame in an illusion. At least she wasn’t so stupid as to try and use genjutsu against Itachi. Kisame allowed the genjutsu to take hold so he could watch a tree spring up from nowhere. Trees of course, freaking leaf ninja. He let the imaginary wrap branches around him.
The man ducked around Kisame and went for Itachi with his chakra blades. He trusted a weak genjutsu would hold Kisame? Who did they think he’d been sparring with for the past years? This was nothing compared to even Itachi’s lowest level genjutsu. Kisame flared his chakra to shatter the illusion and swung for the man’s unprotected side. He could have taken off his arm but only allowed Samaharda a few shallow cuts. She growled and flexed her scales, annoyed by the lack of blood.
Itachi kicked the woman away from Kisame. She went sailing out of Kisame’s blind spot onto the water. Which was sweet of him, considering Kisame could have taken both of these idiots alone.
A third opponent joined their fight and quickly put himself between Itachi and the Konoha nin.
“Copy Nin, right?” Kisame kept his eyes on his opponents but was really asking Itachi.
“I’ll handle this.”
Kisame waited. Idiot met Itachi’s eyes and was pulled into his jutsu. Itachi had explained roughly what he planned to do and that it might be tricky to pull off, even for him. His imagination could easily supply any nightmare-scape but forcing his target to relive specific memories was more difficult. Kisame waited a whole second, longer than Itachi usually took before the Copy Nin started breathing heavily and his sharingan spun into a different shape. Kisame squinted at it, just in case Itachi missed it somehow. It looked the same as ‘Madara’’s, at least as far as Kisame could tell.
Kisame preferred to actually see the effects of his attacks but there was still something impressive about watching Itachi’s victims snap back to awareness and realize the past twenty years of torture had been fake. Or in this sucker’s case, realize he hadn’t just relived whatever caused him to get those special eyes. Really, the damn things sounded like more trouble than they were worth. Why did Kiko want one so bad?
…
Kisame stalled for time while they waited for the Toad Sage to come back. What was taking him so long? Itachi probably gave him too much credit to think he’d notice/care about a civilian under genjutsu. Oh well, the kid was a jinchuriki, he’d heal.
Forutunately, they were intrupted by Itachi's kid brother before he actually had to maim the jinchuriki.
Sasuke created a Chidori and ran at Itachi. Halfway there, Sasuke tripped. He was so surprised he barely managed to cancel his Chidori before it cut a hole in the floor. Being focused on not injuring himself with lightning meant he didn’t quite save himself from lading face first. Naruto would have laughed if the situation were less dire. Kisame snickered while Itachi remained completely still.
Jiraya attempted a dramatic entrance. Naruto called him lame but someone else had a more violent objection; the mystery sixth person in the room who had tripped Sasuke earlier. An invisible opponent hit Jiraya in the dick. Everyone was shocked silent for a moment, except Kisame who laughed. Jiraya managed to stumble a few steps to lean against the wall. Itachi gave a long suffering sigh and released his jutsu. The illusion hiding her presence dispersed, revealing a young child. Maybe five or six years old, gray hair, and angry yellow eyes that she used to shoot daggers at Jiraya. Kisame continued to chuckle. “That’s my girl!” He praised then waved her over.
“Don’t lump all women together, dumbass.” The kid scowled at Jiraya before obediently walking to Kisame. She leaned against him in a way that displayed familiarity.
“Don’t encourage her,” Itachi gave them both an exasperated look.
“Wait! Who are you supposed to be? Why are you with…” Naruto pointed from the girl to the rouge nin.
“Hoshigaki Kiko,” Kisame patted her head with his free hand. At their stunned looks he added, “adopted daughter of Hoshigaki Kisame and Itachi.”
“What!?” Disbelief overrode Sasuke’s anger for a moment, then the rage returned two fold. “No! After what you did! You don’t get a happy ending!”
“I accept your challenge!” Kiko jumped in front of Itachi.
“Let her try,” Kisame stopped Itachi from interfering. “She’s been training for this since she learned you had a brother.”
Sasuke aimed at Kiko’s neck, not expecting her to be able to dodge. He paid for this over-confidence when she ducked his punch, and tackled him. She pinned his arms best she could with all four limbs before biting his exposed neck and digging her little nails in. She successfully caught him off guard with the animalistic the techinique she learned from Samaharda. When your opponent is bigger and stronger than you, get in close, cling with your whole body and suck the life out of them.
“Get off!” Sauske felt his chakra being drained so he didn’t have time to wrestle for a weapon. He resorted to a sparking jutsu in both palms to make her pull away. He kicked her hard in the stomach to get some space. Kiko rolled back to her feet, lightly bruised and singed but she took a chunk of skin and chakra with her. She grinned at him with bloody teeth then drew kuni to continue their fight. Sauske didn’t under estimate her anymore. He and Kiko exchanged a few cautious blows.
“She’s a kid! Sasuke can take her, no problem,” said Naruto.
“Maybe,” Kisame smirked at Naruto and Jiraya. Itachi kept intense watch over the fight. “If Kiko doesn’t take advantage of his weakness. And she will. She may not be our child by blood but she’s cunning enough she may as well be.”
Sasuke was overpowering Kiko easily so she changed tactics. “Are you sure you’re related to, Mama? I’m adopted and a better Uchiha than you.” Sasuke’s put more power behind his blows but became sloppier. Kiko ducked under Sasuke’s wide swing and held a kuni at his throat. “Dead.” Kiko announced calmly. “Weak work, uncle.” She taunted before he could retaliate. The fact she was treating this as a spar rather than a fight to the death pissed Sasuke off more. He spat a fire ball in her direction. Kiko grinned evilly and unrolled a storage scroll from her belt. The scroll contained water that she easily formed into a shield that covered her completely Kisame wordlessly summoned a water wall to prevent the spectators from being hit. Steam filled the narrow hallway. Voices came from the cloud of steam. “Dead.” Sasuke let out a wordless scream of rage. A blow to his gut sent him flying head first into the wall behind him out of the cloud of steam. Kuni buried in the wall barely to the left of his face. The moisture in the air dissipated enough to see Kiko. “And dead. Good spar.” She bowed. While she bowed Sasuke charged the fastest Chidori he had yet created and attempted to kill her.
Now Itachi did step in. He caught Sasuke’s arm with one hand and choaked him with the other.
“She’s five!” Itachi glared disapprovingly like he couldn’t believe his little brother would try to kill a child. Their eyes met and Itachi put Sasuke in Tsukuyomi.
“I’m ending this.” Jiraya warned. He gave Kisame a pointed look before preforming a summons. Kisame nodded in thanks for the extra time to retrieve Kiko. He easily lifted the girl with one hand and held her against his shoulder. Kisame nudged Itachi just enough to prompt him into releasing the unconscious Sasuke and they both fled.
The second they were out of sight, Kisame scooped Itachi up in his other arm. Itachi held Samahara’s tail to replenish his chakra and hide their trail with genjutsu.
…
“Orochimaru,” Tsunade noted the condition of her old friend. “Looking at you, Sensei still had some fight in him.”
Orochimaru’s and Kabuto’s eyes widened in surprise. “I hadn’t realized the news reached this far from the village.”
“I’ve kept an ear open regarding Konaha the last few years.”
“Even after you swore to never go back?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” She gave him a warning glare but waved for him to approach.
“Lady Tsunade, are you sure about this?”
“Keep his attendant company, Shizune, let old friends talk in private.”
Tsunade walked away and Orchimaru followed her despite Kabuto’s complaints.
With their assistants grumpily guarding the door, Tsunade sat Orochimaru at her rented table and set a mission scroll in front of him.
“You know about this?” She demanded.
He read it quickly. “No,” he hissed in obvious disgust. “But I’m not surprised.”
Tsunade tucked the scroll back into her top and then set a bottle of sake and two glasses between them. “You want me to heal you, Oro? Tell me exactly what got you exiled and what part sensei played in it.”
…
Tsunade’s first action after putting on the hat was to calmly walk right up to the council of elders and crush Danzo’s skull with one hand. She lifted the limp corpse and waved it in front of the shocked silent crowd. “Listen up! Anyone who was in this sack of shit’s special forces, I am now your commanding officer! You obey me!” She finally dropped the morbid trophy and glared at those assembled for any discontent. “Does anyone have a problem with that?”
She glanced to Jiraiya who, true to his promise to support her if she agreed to be Hokage, gave a thumbs up. “Eh, Danzo was an ass anyway,” Kakashi muttered from his spot among the elite jonin.
To the elders who still looked green, Tsunade leaned in and whispered, “I know about Uchiha Coup so I suggest you smile and bow.” They quickly got their act together.
…
After Tsunade undid decades of Danzo’s scheming in a day Orochimaru felt in high spirits. He was contemplating how exactly to word his ceasefire proposal to the new Hokage when one of his scouts disturbed him. Apparently a certain Uchiha was at the boarder and demanding to speak with him, and only him.
Against his better judgement, Orochimaru sent a shadow clone to meet Itachi. Tsunade hadn’t said, but there were only so many places she could have gotten that mission scroll. Perhaps Itachi really did just want to talk rather than settle old grudges.
“Uchiha Itachi, what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I was hoping to hire you.”
Itachi’s face gave nothing away, that didn’t stop Orochimaru from trying to read him. After several seconds he said with amusement, “Hire? You have something to pay me with?”
He displayed his left hand holding a sealing scroll. “My mother’s eye.”
“After 6 years?” He was surprised to hear so. Sealing scrolls could delay rot but not prevent it. Body parts needed to be transplanted to a host body, or stored with sufficient technology and jutsu to mimic a host body. “Where have you been keeping that?”
Itachi only responded by slipping his hand back under his cloak and waiting, a clear, ‘do you want it or not’?
“What can I do for you?” He wanted it, and to know why Itachi was desperate enough to seek him out.
“You resurrected the first and second hokages with their personalities and memories in tact. What are your limitations?”
“Is there someone you want to see again, Uchiha?” He taunted but Itachi didn’t react in the slightest. “The summoning will only last 24 hours. A human sacrifice is required. I need the dead’s DNA, preferably something more than just a few cells. At least a vague idea of who I’m summoning. A few hours and a patch of earth to complete the seal. Even then sometimes it doesn’t work. I suspect the soul must be in the Pure Lands and anyone who died a particularly...gruesome death may be beyond summoning.”
As unflappable as ever, Itachi agreed to gather the necessary materials and when and where to meet.
Two days later they met at a small secluded field.
“You’ll forgive me for bringing reinforcements.” Orochimaru nodded to his students. “They’re no match for you obviously but they’ll afford me the chance to escape.”
Itachi made no comment. A second later a leaf nin appeared from the trees and stood stiffly next to Itachi.
“One of Danzo’s?” Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at the leaf soldier.
“Easily influenced.” Itachi answered. The masked man handed Itachi an official looking envelope and a sealing scroll, then fainted. Itachi stepped away from the man, indicating Orochimaru could take him.
The snake nodded to one of his students who obediently dragged the man into the center of the seal. Itachi released the sealing scroll and a whole coffin appeared. This was obviously more than he’d been expecting as he had to jump back a bit. Showing no further signs of surprise, he pried open the lid with a kuni, (not allowing the others to see inside) calmly collected a finger from the person inside, closed the coffin, sealed it back into the scroll, and pocketed it.
The envelope was decorated with the official seal of the records office. Itachi carefully chose one paper from inside; he gave this and the bone to Orochimaru.
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at the photograph he was handed. Not what he expected. Itachi gave nothing away and stayed completely silent as Orochimaru worked.
With a bit of unexpected difficulty, he managed to summon the resurrection coffin. The lid fell away revealing a brown haired teenage girl. She shook herself awake and then stepped out of her coffin with more conviction than Orochimaru had seen from other summons. “That was different from the other times I’ve done the ritual.”
“I wasn’t in the Pure Lands but I wanted to be summoned so it worked.” The girl said testily to Orochimaru. She nodded to Itachi. “I know what you’re planning. Let’s go.”
Itachi nodded. He tossed the sealing scroll labeled “eye” to Orochimaru then he and the girl leapt away.
…
On an artiffically made floating island, (specifically designed to be impossible for any burrowing plant monsters to visit) Itachi and the teenage girl had a few minutes to kill while they waited. Itachi took the opportunity to ask if it would be possible to give Kiko one of his eyes, or both if he died or was crippled in the coming fight.
“Like this.” She demonstrated a series of seals for him to mimic. “This was the only way I found to fuse the host and donee chakra signatures. The traditional methods create too high a risk of rejection. It has the side effect of linking chakra. A bit of practice and you’ll be able to see out of your eye, possibly even activate it.”
“Shame you never wrote this down.”
“I shared it with Biwako-sensei. She was going to publish it for limb transplantation but then Shimura got his hands on it.”
“You know about him too?”
“I’ve been haunting both my teammates. Which is how I know you’re spying on us, Obito!” She spun to glare at a seemingly empty bit of air. He allowed himself to be seen when she called him out.
“You’re not real…” the masked man tried to sound confident, but didn’t quite manage.
The dead girl fearlessly stomped towards him. “Unless you want me to list every embarrassing memory you have in front of your cousin, teleport us to,” she didn’t even have to finish her threat before they both disappeared.
…
For Kakashi, the past month had been…interesting to say the least. The chunin exams, invasion, hokage-sama’s death, and consequent politics had been bad enough. Then Itachi makes an unexpected visit to show off Konoha to his partner in crime, the deadliest Swordsman of the Mist. A man who; according to Naruto and Jiriya; Itachi had also married and adopted a kid with. What the fuck?
Tsunade takes over as Hokage and immediately kills Danzo; no tears shed there. Until Kakashi and a few other elite Jonin are read into the fact that Danzo was apparently behind the Uchiha massacre and had several dozen Sharingan implanted in his arm. What the actual fuck?
Supposedly Itachi was a loyal Konaha nin and only deep undercover. Which Kakashi wanted to believe but found difficult to believe. Afterall, he’d done more than infiltrate Akatsuki, he’d married into it. And less than a week ago Itachi had put Sasuke in a coma (Sasuke was still in that coma and the village’s best genjutsu specialists had no idea how to wake him) and needlessly forced Kakashi to relive his worst memories.
So Kakashi is still trying to wrap his brain around all this new information and figure out how and what to share with Sasuke assuming he ever woke up; (Tsunade left that to his discretion, thanks) when news reached him that a certain grave had been robbed.
Rin came from a small family without any bloodline traits. There wouldn’t be any evidence of the bijuu or seals after so long in the ground. And it’s not like ninjas were buried with valuables. There was nothing to steal from her grave. The only other reason to take a corpse would be for Edo Tensei. Which didn’t make sense either. While Rin was a talented medic she had died before making any real advancements in the field. Her only notable achievement was successfully transplanting a sharingan with minimal side-effects.
One of the last living Uchiha had recently adopted a kid. Danzo had an empty patch on his freaky arm that looked like two eyes had recently been removed. Kakashi once told Itachi how he received his eye, and Itachi had viewed his memories of Rin’s death.
He chose to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
The smell of grave dirt was easy enough to for Pakkun to track. The trail ended at the sea. Just within eyesight off shore, there was an island with no trees on it. It looked almost like it was floating rather than created naturally. Even at this distance, a black cloud of birds was clearly visible flying laps above the island.
The water was somehow made to prevent him from walking on it. And the second he put a foot on the surface, two massive sharks appeared and started circling near the shore.
A crow flew over the water from the direction of the island. Without prompting, a shark surfaced to greet it. The crow perched on the shark’s head and the two summons conversed with quiet sounds. The shark waited for the bird to lift off again before diving under the water.
The crow went to Kakashi. “Summoner says you may approach.” She informed him before joining the other birds in the sky.
This time he was able to walk on the water. The sharks glared at him with fish eyes but didn’t get too close.
The island was clearly the product of jutsu, as it was the prefect size for Itachi’s preferred fighting style. Stone pillars were scattered about, large enough for a tactical retreat or to secure wire without blocking his vision. Every inch was layered in seals or traps. Kakashi had to walk carefully. He took the time to think, there was clearly more going on here than he was aware of.
Itachi was busy at work with another seal. He prepared the trap with one hand while his other held his sword. His red eyes darted about as if he expected an attacker to appear any moment from thin air.
“Itachi-kun, what are you doing?”
“Preparing to fight for my life.” His tone of voice very much indicated ‘What’s it look like I’m doing?’ He finished the seal then reached for something on his belt. He tossed a sealing scroll to Kakashi. “I apologize for the desecration. I ordered him to take a bone. But I’d never gave complicated instructions long distance before.”
“Mah, who would want to kill you?”
“Uchiha Obito.” Itachi didn’t stop scanning his surroundings to watch Kakashi’s reaction. “Or some reanimated version of him.”
With a swirl of air, someone appeared out of nowhere. Itachi tensed for a fight.
“Everything’s fine.” A high pitched voice immediately spoke. The arrival was actually two people. A teenage girl stood, holding a grown man who clung to her like a babe to its mother. He hadn’t bothered to remove his Akatsuki cloak so he was just a wailing puddle of fabric. She was strong enough to hold him and pat his head while he hid his face in her shoulder.
“I’m sorry! I’m an idiot!” The man wailed pathetically.
Kakashi kinda expected to see her but she was visibly surprised when she spotted him. “Kakashi?”
Obito glanced up briefly to confirm Kakashi’s presence then quickly hid his face against Rin again. He muttered a long string of swear words into her shoulder.
“Obito, it’s okay, this will actually speed things along.” Rin said. Itachi stepped back but didn't leave.
“He’s never going to forgive me. The cycle of hate…”
“Kakashi,” Rin interrupted Obito’s self-flagulation. “You studied genjustus, you know how easy it is to brainwash someone.”
“Sure,” Kakashi wasn’t sure where this was going. He did what he always did and emotionally detached himself from the situation and just went with the flow.
“Well, after ‘dying’ Obito spent over a year trapped in a cave, being tortured and experimented on. And he still didn’t snap until after he learned about my death.”
“Not really tortured,” Obito grumbled.
Rin adjusted how she held Obito to make him look at her face. “They didn’t feed you! And as a medic I promise repairing your limbs didn’t require that much pain. We studied this in the academy, describe Stockholm Syndrome for me.”
“Um…” Obito paused.
“Trauma induced dependency. When a prisoner feels sympathy for and comes to believe that their captor is the only one who cares for them. Caused by complete isolation over an extended period. The prisoner can come to rationalize a lack of abuse as a kindness.” Itachi provided.
Rin held Obito’s gaze until he thought that over. He muttered curse words again and hugged Rin tighter. Rin let him hide his face and she looked back to Kakashi.
“Obito can tell you details later, if he wants. But for now please assume that everything bad that has happened in the past twenty years, Obito played some part in.”
“Everything?”
“Yes.” She gave him a steel hard look. “What are you going to do about it?”
Kakashi sighed and awkwardly rubbed his neck. “This is too much for me.” They all waited. With another sigh he walked closer to Rin and Obito. “Honestly, I’m just happy you’re alive.”
Obito looked up at him with wide-eyed surprise. “Even if I killed Sensei?”
Kakashi winced. “Yeah, well. I’m not happy about it. But if Rin forgives you then I do too. She’s always been the smartest of us.”
Rin smiled and set Obito on his feet. She stepped away from him slightly to bow. “I owe you an apology, too, Kakashi. I wanted to give you the mangekyou but I wouldn’t have killed myself that way if I had known about…”
“It’s fine,” Kakashi waved her off.
“It’s not.”
“I forgive you anyway.”
“Thank you.” She said formally. “We have more to discuss but first we need to check Obito for any seals or mind control jutsu.” She pulled on a pair of gloves.
“Rin, you don’t have to make excuses for me, this was all my fault.”
Rin interrupted him with uncharacteristic rudeness. “I tutored you in first aide myself, I refuse to believe that you forgot that people need food and water to survive without outside influence! Now strip!”
“Yes, ma’am.” Obito shrugged off his cloak. Obito fell back into the habit of listening to her advice. He pulled his cloak off and started removing his shirt and armor. “In my defense Madara survived attached to the tree.”
“Madara, is not the picture of health.” Rin said with disdain. Kakashi couldn’t help but be a bit surprised by Rin’s tone. This was the angriest he’d ever seen her. She began running diagnosing hands over his back as he took off his armored shirt. Kakashi didn’t hide his stare at Obito’s white skin. “Help me,” She ordered Itachi. Itachi stepped forward and mimicked Rin in assessing Obito’s health.
“Madara?” Kakashi asked.
Obito ignored him. “You saw that too?” He asked Rin.
“I refused to pass on to the pure lands. I’ve been haunting both of you.”
Both boys felt guilty as they thought about everything she must have seen. “If I knew you two would fall apart so badly without me I would have taken my chances with the bijju. Of course, Madara would have just killed me later.”
“What?! Madara did…” Obito disturbed Rin’s and Itachi’s efforts to scan him by flailing. “Oh God, I’m so stupid!” He hid his face in his hands. Kakashi unabashedly reached out to poke his right arm out of curiosity.
Itachi interrupted their team bonding. “How much of your body is artificial?”
“Most of my right side.”
“The cells have spread through your bloodstream. They’re fully integrated into your body,” Rin observed.
“I probably have some senju ancestry, Grandma was always tight lipped over who my grandfather was.” Obito shrugged. Kakashi’s examination of his right hand devolved into a childish poking and slapping fight.
“That’s what Madara thought. He and Zetsu rambled a lot while you were semi-conscious.” Rin was focused on her work.
“You remember more than I do, then. Which reminds me...” Obito sucker punched Kakashi in the jaw, hard enough to make him stumble if Obito hadn’t grabbed his vest. “How many suicide missions did you take?! You asshole!” Kakashi passively allowed Obito to shake him.
“A few.”
“28.” Rin spoke up. When the boys glanced at her she added, “It’s boring being dead.”
“I gave you my eye so you could live! Not so you could kill yourself! How many fu-”
Itachi took advantage of their distraction to run Obito through with his sword.
Rin screamed. Kakashi caught Obito’s shoulders before he collapsed. Rin shoved Itachi out of the way and hastily healed the wound.
“I’m okay. Rin, Kakashi, I’m fine. Something like that can’t kill me,” Obito was too calm and received glares from both his teammates.
“That ruined the seal on your heart,” Rin finished checking Obito. She handed Itachi’s sword back and tried to lecture him. “Hoshigaki, that is not proper medical,”
Obito interrupted her, “What?!” He whipped his head around to stare at Itachi. “Really? Kisame said he was just helping you with the kid.” He was surprised to learn the Atasuki gossip was true and Kisame lied to his face. Itachi took a second to untuck his necklace from under his armored shirt. His normal necklace had a shark tooth added to it. “Oh, congratulations on your marriage, I guess.” Then something occurred to him and he went into protective older cousin mode, something he hadn’t done in over a decade. “Wait…since when? He’s twelve years older than you!”
“You helped me murder a clan when I was thirteen,” Itachi answered, stone cold.
Obito couldn’t argue with that. He grumbled and looked away. Although privately surprised by that revelation, Kakashi didn’t want to talk about it now. Rin hadn’t been kidding when she said ‘everything’.
“Where’s the husband, Itachi-kun?” He changed the topic of conversation.
“With the rest of the Atasuki, he’d be a liability against Obito.” One of Itachi’s summons landed on his shoulder. “Zetsu, can you control it?”
“Hm…no, they only follow my orders to an extent. Black Zetsu claimed to be Madara’s will but now that I’m thinking about it…”
“That’s bullshit.” Rin interjected.
“Yeah…damn I’m so stupid!”
“Mah, we already knew that,” Kakashi couldn’t resist. He ducked the punch Obito aimed at his face.
Itachi kept talking before they could devolve into child-like behavior. “And the rest?” Itachi walked to the edge of the island to speak with one of the shark summons.
“Konan and Pein will probably help if I explain the situation. Madara’s plan wouldn’t give them what they want. And the other four will fight Zetsu if ordered to. Although, Kakazu is really the only other one strong enough to be useful. ”
“Should I fetch reinforcements?” Kakashi asked.
“No!” All three answered him at once.
“We need a surprise attack before it learns it’s been compromised,” Itachi said.
“If we don’t kill it now, Zetsu will just hide for a couple hundred more years. Shit, and I need to do something about that statue.”
“I have 18 hours left without redoing the ritual. I’m not letting you two out of my sight until this is done.” Rin wrapped an arm around each of them. Years ago, when she tried to initiate this group hug, she’d let the boys grumpily not participate. Today she glared at them both and ordered “Team hug, Now!”
...
Because I couldn’t resist, here are bingo book entries for my OC and this AU version of Shizuma. Shizuma is the biological son of Kisame and Itachi, probably thanks to Orochimaru. He’s much less evil in this world. He grows up with two loving parents but has the angst of competing with his talented older sister. Samahara likes her better, which annoys him. While we only ever see Hoshigaki fuse with Samahara, considering Samahara is sentient, I don’t see why she couldn’t choose to do that with anyone. If it is a bloodline trait exclusive to the Hoshigaki, then Orochimaru gave Kiko a boost so she can do it too.
Hoshigaki Kiko Jonin of Kiri
Aliases: Uchiha Kiko, Samahara’s Spawn, Daughter of Samahara
Bloodline: Transplanted sharingan.
Nature Release: Earth, Water
Summons: Crows
Specialties: Chakra drain and transference. Genjutsu. Bloody Mist Absorption Technique.
Reported Feats: Captured a 50 chunin squad by simultaneously draining their chakra through an earth jutsu. Able to wield and fuse with the legendary sword Samahara.
Shizuma Hoshigaki Jonin of Kiri
Aliases: Uchiha Shizuma,
Bloodline: Sharingan; Shark attributes
Nature Release: Water, Fire
Summons: Sharks
Specialties: Kenjutsu. Genjutsu. Torture and interrogation.
Reported Feats: Able to wield the legendary sword Samahara.