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Things had shifted a little for the boys. It wasn’t anything major, they just got a little busier some days. And with the holidays coming up, they knew they needed to get on that content grind. There was nothing wrong with it, they knew the struggles of holidays and uploads, plus with the release of all the new merch, everything was just piling up.
Punz however wasn’t included in that.
He never uploaded to their youtube channel anymore, streaming was their main game. That was fine, he knew youtube was stressful— that’s why he stopped. But soon the boys’ busy schedule got worse, Punz started to second guess everything.
Nobody had even invited him over in a week.
That was fine, maybe they wanted space to work? And Punz knew they were welcome at any time… But normally every day or so there was a text from Dream with a little smile inviting him over. So when those texts stopped, Punz took it as a sign to just stay out.
But they didn’t come back the next day or the day after that.
He quickly started to realize how dependent he was on the company of those he loved. Their one-bedroom apartment felt cold and empty and the days dragged on. He cried a couple of times already.
Then one night George went live on his alt— this is their chance! Punz now had access to the Sex Havers Discord group, meaning he was allowed to just pop into any of their streams. It felt like a privilege when he got the invite, he smiled about it for the next few days. But now the group almost mocks him… do they even want him there?
He decided to lurk in the chat without joining, pulling up George’s stream to listen. George’s laughter filled his headphones, Punz couldn’t help the love-struck smile they held. Even if George was yelling at Quackity, hearing the comforting voice of the brunette was enough.
Punz
let’s play csgo instead
It had always been a running joke that they and Sapnap were “cavemen” and only wanted to play shooter games over Minecraft, so when he sent that he expected the same joking reaction as always.
But Quackity’s mocking laughter and George’s disgusted scoff… oh. That hurt.
Punz clicked off of Discord and Twitch fast, he couldn’t bear to hear any more of the jokes, even if they were just jokes.
He decided to stream instead since he didn’t stream the day before anyways. Plus it was late, he missed his late-night streams with chat, they shared their excitement once they all rolled in.
He half hoped that maybe someone would join VC with him or hang out, even if it was someone like Antfrost or Gumi. But no, he cued Valorant alone.
When George ended his stream he raided Punz, the blonde couldn’t help but smile when the alert popped up. But holding back tears stopped him from really acknowledging it, so at the end of that game, they finally thanked George for the raid, not saying anything more.
He watched in Discord as his boyfriends all joined a locked channel with Quackity, their chat told them that the boys were recording a video. He couldn’t help but feel a little bummed.
But through it all, they kept streaming. Towards the end of the night, he ordered food to help cope, especially with all the Discord messages rolling in once the boys had finished recording.
Dream
You wanna come over after stream?
They ignored it.
Sapnap and George had messaged too, but Punz just continued watching Gordon Ramsay.
Then a message from Karl came in when he was ending stream.
Karl
hey! nick said you aren’t responding even though you’re live, everything okay?
There was always something so comforting about Karl. He did his best to always include any of his friends, no matter what he was doing. The boy simply loved quality time, whether it be in a Discord call with all his friends, or playing on his phone while snuggled up into Sapnap’s arms. He was always content to be with someone, and always invited people to join. He also hadn’t been involved with or a part of George’s or Quackity’s thing, so maybe that’s why Punz was more inclined to respond.
Punz
I’m good
can I ask you something?
Karl
go for it
Punz
are you guys still like
interested in me?
Karl
wdym? :[
Punz
idk just thinking too hard about things, it’s nothing
Karl
i’m calling you
Surely enough, the Discord ringtone started to play. Punz clicked accept with a sad sigh.
“Luke!” Karl cheered, which made the blonde smile just a little. “Explain to me.”
“I just,” they sighed, “I feel like you guys are losing interest. I haven’t been over in a week and nobody seems to mind so…” Punz was met with solid silence for a good minute. “I told you it’s dumb—”
“No!” Karl quickly interrupted. “Sorry I was thinking. But of course, we’re still ‘interested’, we love you. And it’s okay to need some reassurance, I used to feel that way a lot too y’know? But they were good at reassuring me when I needed it.” Punz couldn’t help but tear up, something about this was overwhelming, even if Karl was already there offering the words they needed to hear. “Are you crying?”
“Maybe,” they laughed sadly. Karl’s heart ached.
“Why don’t you come over? Everyone’s finished with their stuff now, we can watch a movie or something together.
“Okay, sure,” Punz agreed. They felt nervous and not… stable. But he wanted to be with Karl if anyone, the taller boy’s reassurance always meant a lot.
So Punz drove over around 2 am, to nobody’s surprise the rest of the boys were still awake. Karl greeted him at the door with a soft smile and made sure to be extra loving in his hug. Punz seemed to cling onto Karl more this time around, following the boy like a lost puppy and sitting next to him every chance he got.
“Punz!” Dream smiled when they entered the kitchen, surprised at the appearance of his partner. “You didn’t answer my messages, I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I just texted them last so I guess he only responded to me,” Karl quickly cut in, shrugging when he finished speaking. Dream seemed to accept that answer and went to finish plating food.
Karl guided them to the living room so they could pick a movie while everyone grabbed dinner— Punz had thankfully already eaten. The boys one by one had joined the two on the couch happily munching on food.
It was halfway through the movie Punz felt like he needed to “man up” and just say something. He broke the silence between them.
“Can I ask you guys something?” They all looked curious and nodded, Karl gently took their hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. “I know you guys have been busy recently but, um… do you still want me a part of— this?” They gestured between the group of them.
“What? Of course, we do,” George frowned. They nodded in agreement.
“Dude, I’m literally in love with you. I’m not letting you go anywhere,” Sapnap laughed fondly, Punz couldn’t help the faint blush that dusted his cheeks in carnation shades.
“I know I’m sorry, you guys have been busy. I guess I just got lonely when nobody wanted to hang out.”
“It’s okay like I told you before I get it,” Karl hummed, they turned to look at him.
“You knew about it?” Dream looked puzzled. Karl sheepishly nodded.
“He told me, that’s why I got them to come over.”
Dream suddenly stood from his place at the opposite end and crouched in front of Punz, placing a gentle hand on the shorter blonde’s knee.
“You can always come to us if you have doubts because no matter what we’ll always love you. If you feel like we don’t then please come to talk to us? Or one of us like you did with Karl, just so we can have a little group talk?” Punz nodded.
“I just felt like an attention whore, it’s not like I live here. I just got lonely within a week by myself… Can we just cuddle now? I just wanna be with you guys.. we can talk more later, but I feel like I’m gonna start ugly crying if we don’t stop.” Dream laughed, although a little sad. He made Punz scoot over so he could squeeze in, now making a great pillow for the blonde to lean against.
They all focused back on the movie, but Punz couldn’t because every so often Dream would press a loving kiss to their hair, or Karl would fiddle with his fingers in a way that was more noticeable than others.
He started feeling sleepy towards the end, so when the credits rolled it wasn’t even an option to walk (by Dream’s choice). The taller blonde was already scooping him up by the time he was conscious enough to think about it, and soon tucked lovingly into bed. They made sure Punz was in the middle that night.
Maybe he didn’t feel the best, some more reassurance and gentle I love you’s in the morning would make up for it. But for the first time in that week their heart felt full, he didn’t feel lonely and cold.
Punz woke up warm and overwhelmingly loved. And if they ever felt otherwise, four boys were there to smother him in fond words and soft hugs.