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Kaito had been absolutely ecstatic when he had received the invitation to his best friend and sidekick's wedding. He truly was happy for Shuichi.
Obviously, he had already known much earlier that Shuichi was going to get married. He had asked Kaito to be his best man after all, much to the delight of the astronaut. Of course, Kaito had immediately accepted and shown his support. Shuichi had done the same for him, it was only the right thing to do.
Even if he was getting married to the most annoying person on earth, if not the whole universe and beyond.
A short, all-knowing purple-haired brat called Kokichi Ouma.
Just the thought of the little troublemaker made Kaito second-guess whether Shuichi had actually proposed or had been forced to.
(He did ask Shuichi but the detective had assured him that it was out of his own volition. Kaito still wasn't convinced.)
Clearly, Kaito had quite the opinion on Shuichi's soon-to-be husband. Anyone could tell that Kaito and Kokichi didn't exactly see eye to eye on most matters.
Or, well, maybe all matters.
And it was definitely not Kaito's fault! Kokichi just always ended up irritating everyone around him and poking fun at others. But he'd try especially hard with Kaito, riling him up whenever Kokichi had the chance to do so.
Nevertheless, Kaito was happy that Shuichi had found someone he trusted and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. As much as he questioned the choice in a romantic partner, Kaito would gladly do his job as a best friend (and temporary sidekick) and support the other on his big day.
(Shuichi just had to accept that Kokichi wouldn't receive the same treatment, to which he had only replied with a chuckle.)
Time flew by fast, plans upon plans were made and there had been moments of insecurity on Shuichi's part. Insecurities of pushing something onto Kokichi that he didn't want, unsure whether they were ready for that step yet.
While Kaito wasn't good at making logical statements or decisions, he was a master at pep talks. It came naturally with his optimistic personality and charming smiles. Therefore, whenever Shuichi would spiral down into his little self-doubt echo chamber, Kaito would be the one to pull him right out of it.
It was his job as a best friend.
So, the big day arrives, Kaito hadn't been able to get a hold of Shuichi for most of the day, struggling with his own set of duties that he had been assigned with (most of them by his adorable wife, Maki, who was a lot less thrilled about the whole thing. She never really enjoyed big, joyful gatherings, unlike her optimistic husband.)
Instead, Kaede was doing her utmost best, fussing about and around Shuichi. Kaito figured he was in good hands. Shuichi and him have admired her for her strong will and confidence ever since they've met her, after all. She'd make sure Shuichi wouldn't lose it completely.
(Hopefully.)
So, after having checked on Shuichi before promptly being thrown out by Kaede and Tsumugi, Kaito realized that he still had some time left before the big moment. He didn't exactly know what to do, but he didn't want to be uselessly standing around either.
And due to that, and his promise to Shuichi that he'd make sure everything was going down smoothly, he quickly found himself standing in front of the door to the room Kokichi was currently getting ready in.
He was still a little hesitant about actually heading inside, absolutely convinced that once he enters, his mood will be completely ruined for the rest of the day.
Nevertheless, this wasn't about him. It was about his perfect best friend who can do no wrong and his not-so-perfect-actually-quite-horrible friend
who can do only wrong. They were basically made for each other.
Finally, Kaito manned up and reached for the door handle, quickly twisting it and opening the door with such force, it almost collided with the wall.
"Geez, I hope you're ready and prepared for the big mome-" Kaito paused as he stared at Kokichi who was standing on a chair and reaching for a window that was a little further up than he could reach.
If the scene wasn't happening during a very special day at a very peculiar time, this set up would've been quite comical and the perfect opportunity to poke a little fun at the purple-haired monster.
However, Kaito was already very cautious about this display.
"Hey... buddy... What're you doin'?"
Kokichi just stared wide-eyed at the intruder. Kaito seemed to have caught him off guard. Kokichi put on a smile, though something about it seemed... off. "Oh Momota-chan, perfect timing! Could you prove that you are the best man and lift me up a little so I can reach that window?"
Kaito furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at first. What was he up to now? Surely nothing good would come of this with his pranks and schemes and games.
Kaito was about to laugh because it was a familiar scene, back at his own wedding when Maki was trying to- Oh no, he wouldn't. "Hold on," Kaito gasped out, suddenly realizing what Kokichi was up to. "Are you trying to bail on my sidekick?!"
"What?! No! Never!" Kokichi instantly denied and waved it off, lowering himself onto the chair but almost losing balance. Kaito was by his side immediately, clutching his arm. He wouldn't want Shuichi's wedding to be relocated to the hospital. Upon touch, Kaito felt how badly Kokichi was trembling.
Now that was something completely new.
Kokichi? Trembling?
He wasn't sick, Kaito could tell, although the short male looked really pale as of right now. Added to that, he was biting his bottom lip, seemingly conflicted.
It dawned on him.
"Oh. You're nervous." Kokichi whipped his head to glare at Kaito, but the astronaut didn't really know what he wanted so he continued on his ramble. "Like. Super nervous. Astronomically nervous. Almost like you're gonna fain-"
"Duh! Of course I'm nervous!” Kokichi snapped, crossing his arms as he looked away. “If you've already forgotten, I'm getting married in like-” A quick glance at his wristwatch. “-barely 40 minutes."
"I mean yeah. But why were you trying to bail on Shuichi? Didn't you say you're 'super gay' for each other?"
"I wasn't trying to run away. I was just trying to get some fresh air to calm my nerves," Kokichi lied easily, as if Kaito was the one being ridiculous.
Even Kaito could tell he was lying. He has known the brat for a while now. And he knew that Kokichi had always been head over heels for Shuichi. Which is why he decided to get comfortable on the floor, next to the chair Kokichi was currently sitting on.
Time to make sure the wedding would go as planned: with both of the grooms present.
Shuichi would’ve owed him big time, hadn’t Kaito already been in his debt beforehand.
"Ok, so- listen.” Kaito huffed. It wasn’t exactly easy to converse with that guy. He knew that Kokichi was very talented at twisting words and weazling his way out of awkward heart-to-heart talks. He had experienced these many times before, it wasn’t anything new. “I know you were trying to run away just now. Makiroll tried to do the same thing, remember?"
Kaito remembers it like yesterday. It was quite the revelation once Shuichi had told him in secret.
It was one of the few times Kaito appreciated being “friends” with Kokichi. He was the one to walk in on her little escape attempt back then.
"If you're here to boast about your perfect wedding day or say some cheesy motivational line, then kindly fuck off," Kokichi grumbled.
Kaito chose to ignore that. For the sake of their “friendship”. But mostly for Shuichi. After this whole ordeal, he should actually carry the title of “Best Man”.
Kaito sighed. "See, your problem is that you're scared-"
Kokichi snorted and almost toppled over in his chair. "Me? Scared? Have you forgotten who you're talking to?"
Kaito chose to ignore that too.
"-and it’s a scary moment. It doesn't help that both you and my sidekick are thinkers.” Kaito tapped his head for emphasis, though it looked more like he was making fun of Kokichi. “So eeeverything is being questioned when you're overwhelmed. Like right now for example."
Unusual for the short man, he stayed quiet. Whether he was listening or not, Kaito kept talking. He was on a motivational roll after all.
"You think and you think and you keep on thinking and all that you end up with is non-existent future scenarios that are all playing inside your head. And this is the one time you don't listen to your head, man. You listen to your heart."
They stayed quiet after that passionate speech. Kaito always knew he had it in him. He deserved a little pat on the shoulder. (He would give it himself but now wasn’t the moment nor did he want to embarrass himself in front of a guy like Kokichi. Not that he ever could embarrass himself in the first place.)
Kokichi opened, then closed his mouth before finally settling on saying, "That was so fucking cheesy, wow. Thanks for that, I feel sick now, Momota-chan."
Kaito smiled a little at that, glad that Kokichi was starting to feel a little bit better if he could joke around like this. (Wait. Maybe he wasn’t joking? He might actually feel sick.) Though, he couldn’t help but feel like the purple-haired man was still on edge and not quite convinced.
Whatever it was, Kaito sighed once more, not ready to leave the other just yet. He couldn't exactly tell what it was... But he knew that if he left the other now, it could still turn into a disaster. Especially when the only thing holding Kokichi back were his own insecurities.
"Momota-chan, if you're not gonna help me get some fresh air, you might as well leave!” Kokichi whined, following up with a quiet, “It's not like I'm gonna try to run away a second time.” After that, he bit his lip and examined his nails. Kaito knew better than to trust his words. Too many times had he fallen for his traps.
He promised Shuichi that everything would go well and if that meant watching over his best friend’s 30-minute-to-be husband like a goddamn babysitter (so Kokichi wouldn't have a panic attack and escape), he would do so. Only for his sidekick. Because he was the best man (a role of highest honour for a bffttmab [best friend forever to the moon and beyond]). Therefore, albeit very reluctantly, he offered "Listen, man- or well, I guess I'll listen- damn, how do I say this…What I mean is. I know you don't trust anyone besides Shuichi-"
Kokichi rolled his eyes as he glared at the other. "Momota-chan, don't offer services you know you can't handle."
God, sometimes Kaito wanted to know what Shuichi even saw in this guy.
"-but just so you know... If you wanna talk...then I'll stop talkin' for once and actually listen."
Was he really offering to listen? To Kokichi? Kaito wanted to rub his head in frustration but Maki would bite off his head if he ruined his hair right before the ceremony. Kokichi only huffed in irritation, though he seemed more conflicted when Kaito stole a short glance at him.
Finally, Kokichi groaned and sprung to his feet as he started pacing around the room. "Fine. Since I won't be able to escape now anyways because Murder Bitch sent her fucking guard dog, I guess I have no choice but to talk. Consider yourself lucky, Momota."
That worked?! Kaito wanted to cry. Oh god, how did he manage to pull that one off? Kaito figured that, if Kokichi actually wanted to leave, he would do everything in his might to get away. Whether that meant annoying Kaito or tricking him into playing hide and seek. But the fact that he was willing to talk. To KAITO. Out of all people.
Maybe Kokichi actually wanted to resolve this. And maybe he just didn’t know how to.
"Wow, you actually love Shuichi."
Kokichi paused as he raised an eyebrow at that odd statement. "Hm? What is that supposed to mean, Momota-chan?" Kokichi squinted his eyes at him, almost accusatory. Ah, shoot, Kaito couldn’t fuck up this early on into their heart-to-heart bromance talk.
Shrugging his shoulders, Kaito replied, "Well, I mean. You gave up trying to escape pretty quickly, y'know? Like- If you truly wanted to run away, you already would've."
Kokichi smirked at the compliment(? Kaito didn’t exactly know himself whether he wanted to praise him at that part or not). "...Is that a challenge?"
Kaito scoffed. "I wish. Can't let that happen though, otherwise Shuichi will be devastated…” He watched as Kokichi’s expression faltered a little. Clearly, he cared and loved Shuichi. He didn’t even deny that - another unusual thing for Kokichi to do. Kaito remembered the times they struggled due to Kokichi's hesitancy at being open about his feelings towards Shuichi. The best man wouldn't let Kokichi revert back to that. “Now, why didya want to jump out of the window? You got cold feet?"
"As if. I would never. But I'll entertain your thoughts. Let's say, hypothetically, I did get cold feet and was ready to chicken out. And for the fun of it, let's say it's because I know that Shuichi loves me."
Kaito didn't understand what the other was saying. Speaking in riddles, as always. Kokichi would have to dumb it down; he's not a detective like Kokichi's future husband. Seemingly noticing Kaito's lack of comprehension, Kokichi gritted his teeth a little before biting out "What I'm saying is - Shuichi? Perfect, smart, everything you want in a husband. And me."
What was he getting at? Kaito had absolutely 0 fucking clue. "I don't get what you're saying."
"Out of all people, you should."
He should? Kaito tried to think it over, but ended up with nothing. He thought over this whole scenario again and once more, Maki and his wedding day popped into his mind. How scared he was when Shuichi revealed everything. When Kaito asked for a reason as to why.
"...Are you saying you're not good enough?" Kaito guessed. It was the one thing Maki had confessed to back then (which he found absolutely ridiculous once he heard it).
"Well- I- Yes?" Kokichi said, as if it were obvious that he wasn't and never will be enough. "Consider the things I've done. Especially when you compare it to Shu." He lifted his hand to his mouth, ready to bite on his thumb nail but quickly withdrew it. Nail polish. Rantaro would murder him for ruining it, especially so close to the ceremony.
Kaito laughed a little at Kokichi's distressed state. "Man, I wish I had the time to worry over trivial things like that-"
"Trivial, you say?" Kokichi hissed, but was promptly ignored yet again.
"That's not how marriages work-” Kaito scrambled up from the floor, his legs already hurting from sitting down there for so long. “You're marrying because you love him, dude. And you can become a better version by growing together.” His hand nestled on top of Kokichi’s head, ruffling his hair a little. “With your husband, not alone, dumbass."
Once again, Kokichi stayed quiet. He seemed to have calmed down a little, though he still seemed a bit nervous.
“Have you always been this insecure?” Kaito wondered aloud, quickly earning him a glare from the groom. Kaito had to admit, he wasn't the best at phrasing things nicely, but he figured he'd get the point across either way. “I’m just saying that usually you’d exaggerate and play along. You’re not exactly one to show weakness- or vulnerability around me. Or anyone for that matter.”
“Well, isn’t that just great for you then? To catch me during one of my rare moments?” Kokichi mumbled out, now a little out of it. The nervousness was truly getting to him.
Kaito felt a little bad for him. It was odd seeing the guy you dislike turn out to be somewhat of a not-so-bad guy. Maybe Kaito never really tried to understand him - who knows, maybe if he had listened to him at an earlier time, they could’ve been friends (even if he sincerely doubted that). What he knew now, though, was that he had to be there for him. Just this once. And not only for Shuichi, but because he was his friend. (A very unlikable friend. Maybe.)
With one hand on Kokichi's shoulder, Kaito decided to give him one last pep talk. "It is a rare moment! To see you defeated over something so dumb." Ah what a nice way to start this speech. Kaito had certainly mastered the way of encouraging his friends. "There is no Am I good enough? in a relationship. You're perfectly fine, everyone has their flaws, but you're working on them! And even then-"
Kaito patted his back in a reassuring way, just the way bro's do it. "Shuichi chose to marry you because you're good enough for him. He might just think you're too good for him."
Kokichi didn't say anything else. He just took a deep breath, straightened up his posture and grinned. A lot more relaxed than before.
"You're an idiot," he said before untangling himself from Kaito's grasp.
"But… thanks. I needed that."
They stood in silence, Kaito just glad that he was able to prevent a tragedy no one wanted. He was taken off guard when he heard Kokichi say thanks, but that made his victory just oh so sweeter.
With another glance at his wristwatch, Kokichi strolled over to the mirror, checking if anything was out of place. "I guess long optimistic speeches with too much hot air and empty happy words do have their purpose sometimes," he hummed slyly as he fixed his hair.
"I can give you another one with yo-"
Without warning, the door slammed open. "For fucks sake, there you are! Do you know what the fuck I had to deal with while you were chilling here alone?!" Miu roared as she practically jumped onto Kaito, completely missing Kokichi, who stared at them in amusement.
"M-Miu, wha-"
Miu kept beating her hands against Kaito's chest. "Aren't you Shuichi’s best man?! Why weren't you there, you bitch! He almost fucking dipped on us!"
"What?" both Kaito and Kokichi replied, making Miu stop her assault on Kaito immediately as she turned to her best friend with a pale face. She quickly jumped away from Kaito and fumbled with her dress awkwardly, realizing her mistake a little too late.
"Shuichi… tried to leave?" Kokichi asked, confusion and disbelief seeping into his voice. If he was hurt by the news, he hid it well.
Miu frantically waved her arms, gesturing wildly as she explained, "W-Well! I-! I happened to s-stumble into his room when Kaede and Tsumugi were out for a bit a-and Shuichi was… maybe...trying to fit through the window?"
Kaito's mouth went dry. Dammit, he wasn't there when Shuichi needed him! What an awful best man he was.
"So you left him alone now?!" Kokichi snapped.
"I didn't! H-He is shit at lying, please! I got him to talk about all his tiny baby feelings, then I made fun of his idiocy and told him how much you love him," Miu defended, growing more confident as she retold the story.
Kokichi opened his mouth, but didn't even get the chance to say anything as Miu continued, "And don't fucking lie to me, bitch. I know you're completely infatuated with him or you wouldn't have said yes in the first place."
Kaito didn't dare open his mouth. He had been stunned into silence over the new information. But since Miu was here now, Kokichi's bridesmaid (or as she called it" best woman"), Kaito could leave and return to his duties as Shuichi's best man. And actually do his job as a friend.
"Why did he try to leave?" Kokichi asked weary.
"'Cause he was scared he was forcing something onto you-"
"Man, you guys are made for each other," Kaito sighed out exasperated, heading for the door while Miu raised an eyebrow at him.
"Kokichi tried to escape through the window, too," was all he provided before he left to check on Shuichi, only hearing Miu laugh.
"You couldn't reach the window, huh?"
-x-
The rest of the ceremony went by smoothly. Or as smoothly as it could go when you have Kaito and Miu present.
Although both of the grooms had been nervous wrecks just minutes before, once they were in the same room looking at each other, it all fell into place and their worries washed away. Exchanging vows, rings and finally the words "I do", they ended up sealing the deal with a kiss and the loud cheers from the crowd.
Officially husbands, the rest of the party was spent eating and dancing. Mostly dancing, since Kokichi kept pulling Shuichi onto the dance floor, demanding one dance after another, to which his husband replied with gentle laughter and kisses to the forehead and nose.
And while everyone else was enjoying themselves, Shuichi couldn't help addressing the one thing Kaito had told him just seconds before he left his room.
"I heard Kaito had stopped you from reaching and escaping through the window?" He mumbled amused as he gently rocketed back and forth with Kokichi in his arms. Shuichi had been worried that all his fears actually turned out to be true when he learned that, but Kaito reassured him that Kokichi had just been nervous.
"I might've actually made it if he hadn't come in," Kokichi hummed, grinning cheekily. "It would've been fun! Chasing down your fiancé and carrying them bridal style to the altar… would make a good cheesy romance book if you ask me. I know you like to read those." They laughed, swaying side to side, enjoying each other's embrace. The music surrounding them and the emotions coursing through their bodies made this whole day feel like a dream. As if nothing were real, but the rings on their fingers and the kiss they shared proved otherwise.
Filled with love and adoration for his husband, Shuichi gently cradled his face as he stared earnestly into his mulberry eyes.
"I'm happy you stayed."
Overwhelmed by those words, a few tears gathered in Kokichi's eyes as he pulled Shuichi closer, desperate for his warmth. Now this whole escape plan and the games felt childish and dumb. He knew he would have regretted it the moment his feet hit the ground outside. This one time. This one time he was relieved that his plan failed. As long as it meant that he could stay in his lover's arms.
Shuichi held onto Kokichi, kissing away the few stray tears that slipped down his face and nuzzling their noses together. It was almost too much for the shorter man, feeling like he would burst into a crying mess soon. He kept it together though.
Only Shuichi would get to see that side of him.
"If you ever feel the need to run away again, I hope you'll take me with," Shuichi hushed, squeezing Kokichi's hand, who's heart only swelled at the words. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment, yet here Shuichi was. His husband.
Chuckling softly, Shuichi added, "I'll even drive the getaway car home."
Kokichi snorted and giggled, though his teary-eyed grin grew more cheeky the more time passed. Gripping his husband's hands tightly, he leaned closer and offered quietly, "We can test it out right now… if you want."
Shuichi's eyes widened at the suggestion, though he didn't pull away or reject immediately. Kokichi wanted to actually run away with him. "At our own wedding?"
"Sure, why not? It is our wedding. We can do whatever we want!"
Shuichi quickly took a look around them and realized that most people were starting to get drunk and that the party wasn't going to end anytime soon. No one would notice if they disappeared now while everyone was getting wasted.
Kokichi offering to escape now, together, meant that he really trusted Shuichi.
With a determined smile, he turned back around and said "Let's go." before pulling his husband along, out of the room and towards their escape.
-x-
Maki hated big gatherings. Especially if they were big cheesy events like weddings. Not that she hated the concept in itself, it was just that she never really felt comfortable surrounded by a mass horde of drunk happy people.
With that said, she couldn't just not attend her friend's wedding. Shuichi had helped her a ton when it came to her relationship with Kaito. It was only fair to attend his wedding too. And as expected, people were getting drunk sooner than later, the music was getting too loud and Kaito. Kaito had been dancing with her this whole time.
As much as she loved her dumb husband and friends, she needed a break.
That's how she ended up in the room where Kokichi had prepared himself. It was quiet, pretty spacious and she could hide behind the door while she read a book. She wasn't an avid reader, but it helped clear her head from the event.
30 minutes into her book, she figured it was time to head back to her husband's side, when suddenly she heard quick footsteps outside in the hallway. The door was quickly thrown open and in strolled the newly wed couple, missing Maki behind the door.
The two were giggling softly as Kokichi snatched one of the chairs and pulled it to the window.
"Lift me up first. You can get on the chair and I'll pull you up and through!" Kokichi instructed in a rush, excitedly hopping in place as Shuichi put his hands together to give Kokichi a boost.
Within seconds, Kokichi was perched on the windowsill and opening the small window. With everything in place, Kokichi slipped halfway through before motioning for Shuichi to get on the chair and up.
Maki was just glad that they were on the first floor and they wouldn't die. Although that wasn't a guarantee.
Either way, the couple managed to get up and out of the window and by the sounds of it, they successfully landed without getting hurt. Their laughter echoed for a bit longer before silence engulfed Maki once more.
"Kids."