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In Killer's defense, he had tried decently hard.
Planning a birthday party wasn't easy. Especially when the birthday boy was none other than your very own boyfriend. 'Specially when your daily schedule had a nasty habit of pivoting back on one heel to fuck over anything you had managed to piece together. Killer had never been all that great at getting shit planned in the first place. The small skeleton just didn't see why he'd waste his time putting faith in planning when it was much easier to jump the gun on the actual date, power through it and get the whole fuckin' thing done all at once.
It was Cross' birthday, though, and Killer wasn't going to risk his usual antics on this one. He sort of wanted to keep his boyfriend as, y'know, his boyfriend; he couldn't afford to- and privately Killer knew he didn't want to -fuck this up.
So he had done his best. He enlisted Horror to assist with a birthday cake. Pestered the Boss' boyfriend until Error relented and crafted together some simple decorations, poked and prodded Dust until his trio-mate begrudgingly accompanied him to hunt down some gifts for the reserved guardsman. He'd done more than he ever had in regard to a singular event like that, tried far harder to just once create something that wasn't fundamentally a mess. He would have done a damn fine job at it, too, if it hadn't been for the single small detail he'd overlooked.
Killer had, in all his magnificant glory, entirely forgotten to let Nightmare know that he'd strung something together for Cross' birthday. The negative guardian knew about the date of course- Nightmare knew everything - but his second-in-command had failed to mention that there may have been a little siesta involved. Killer didn't blame Nightmare for not knowing; their Boss had been busier than ever the past few weeks, busy with the Stars and his obnoxiously radiant twin. 'Sides, it wasn't like the darker skeleton had anything planned for them that day anyway. There hadn't been any updates posted on their mission board, and Nightmare hadn't brought up anything of that nature that they didn't already know about. That assumption was unfortunately mistake number two.
"Y'know, Killer-" Cross grit his teeth, "-this isn't exactly what I imagined when you told me you had a surprise in store."
"No shit, Criss-Cross." Killer snarked in return, "I didn't exactly plan on givin' you the gift of 'life or death' for your special day, believe it or not." He turned to send a glare directed at the taller, mildly annoyed that things had wound up this shitty to begin with. He hadn't fucking intended to have his lover carted off on a mission into the ass-crack of nowhere on his birthday. He hadn't meant for Cross to get stuck here, in the snow, wasting away his time that was already short to begin with.
Not today, at least.
"Do you really think I woulda tried so damn hard 'f this was the killer fuckin' gift I had fer ya?" A knife slipped fast and dangerous through ivory digits, Nightmare's most trusted distracted by the noise of blasters firing and falling snow. "No. I don' fuckin' think so, Crossy." The smaller had taken painstaking measures to make sure his boyfriend didn't go downstairs when he first woke up, going so far as to blindfold the taller temporarily to 'ensure that there were no chances.' Cross had pointedly noted that doing such a thing was shady as shit. It hadn't even mattered in the end, however, and the spell was broken by Nightmare knocking on their door with a frown on his face and mission in hand.
So much for Killer's hostage situation.
To make matters even worse than typical, this particular mission was difficult. Not just because they were outnumbered- when were they not -but also because it had seemed to appear out of nowhere. Nightmare wasn't one for pulling spontaneous outings out of his ass all that often, especially not when he realized that the date was significant in some form. It had been a large reason that Killer hadn't been all that concerned about a possible outing popping up; Boss had known that October tenth was Crossy's birthday. He'd known, so why the fucking hell would he pull something like this on their guard?
"Don' worry, babe." Killer whirled around to plant a kiss on the guardsman's cheek, "I'll get ya home safely. There ain't nothin' that's gonna happen to the birthday boy."
"I'm flattered." Cross replied dully, asymmetrical eyes more focused on their opponents than the flirtatious actions of his partner. "Ya should be." Killer mused. "'M gonna provide a one-way ticket back to party land. Since, y'know-" Killer ducked beneath yet another blow to dish out a brutal attack of his own, "-'s where the party is. Which yer ditchin', by the way, not to piss on yer-"
"Killer."
Cross' voice held a dry air of muted irritation, "You don't have to keep reminding me of the fact that I would rather be somewhere else than here." Cross wasn't overly thrilled at the aspect of this mission either. All he had wanted was to wake up and have a quiet, calm, day to himself. Well, maybe himself and Killer. He couldn't deny that the reckless skeleton made his SOUL ache just a little less. But no, that had not happened; he'd been briskly wrangled mere minutes after he'd woken up, Nightmare assigning a clear-out mission to both Cross and his boyfriend.
Why it had to be them? The guard had no clue.
"Ight, ight." Killer relented, lessening the teasing in favor of placing more attention to working the task they'd been assigned to. "'S just-" another duck, another roll, "-yer missin' your own damn party cause 'f this, 'n I ain't real happy 'bout that." Quietly livid was a better description. Killer was beyond pissed that everything he had put work towards had fallen through the floor like the result of some sort of sick trapdoor. All he'd wanted was one single day to throw a little jamboree for his lover. Hell, one single day to coddle Cross all he fucking wanted.
"Oi, oi, to your left!" Killer's voice hitched on a yell, throwing his body directly into Cross to bowl the both of them over into the snow. The air was alight with crackling magic mere milliseconds later, a splitting sound breaking the atmosphere as the two of them tangled cold in the snow. For a single second Killer supposed he was coddling Cross. Just not in the way he had hoped for. "Fuck!" Cross spit and shoved the smaller off his lap with a snarl. That had been way too close of a call for either one to feel remotely comfortable, and it wasn't long before the guard was scrambling to his feet with clear upset in his sockets.
Killer recognized the flash of emotion easily and his normally permanent grin faltered. "Cross-" There was no nickname tacked on the ending this time. Wasn't time for one, not when the monochromatic skeleton whirled on his heel with tense shoulders and gritted teeth. "No. Don't even fucking start." The tone made Killer's SOUL flicker unhappily, watching his lover cut down yet another being that crossed his path. "I don't wanna hear it. Not now. Not when I'm out here-" another swing of a knife, another brutal decapitation, "-cold as hell and covered in shit dust when I'm supposed to be home doing anything else but this!"
Cross' voice peaked at the end, audible frustration and disbelief present in his words. "But no. No, that can't possibly fucking happen, now can it?" The guard was fully agitated and Killer's hopes sank just a little lower at the realization that his parter was seriously upset. He had a right to be. All Cross had wanted was a quiet day full of nothing much at all, a day that Killer had promised to him. God knows that the guardsman normally wouldn't care or speak up about a mission; Cross was a soldier through and through, and he did what was asked of him without a complaint in sight. But Killer had promised. A promise that hadn't happened; and promises were not something a Sans took lightly.
"Forget it. You probably don't give a single flying fuck anyw-"
"....are we interuptin' somethin?"
The deep voice of Horror echoed awkwardly from their left, and Killer's skull snapped to the side with a dulled sense of disorientation. The cannibal was standing on the other side of a familiar inky portal, one hand nestled in the pocket of his jacket and the other curled quietly on the ridge of his broken skull. Dust was tucked behind him on the left, watching the two of them impassively with shadowed eyelights.
"Nope. Ain't interupptin' anythin'." Killer spoke up before Cross had the chance to respond. He wasn't in the mood to dig the two of them deeper into a silent argument. "You are welcome to return home if you so please." The smooth voice of Nightmare reverberated from close behind, the remaining enemies nearly skewed on his array of sharpened tentacles. "Your work here is finished."
Cross brushed by Killer's shoulder without so much as a single word in his direction. Killer didn't remark anything else in return, but the cold gesture prickled at his broken SOUL uneasily. Man, he'd really fucked it up this time, huh? Shit, it had been a long while since Crossy had looked at him like that.
"Oh, and Cross?" Nightmare's voice halted the guard mere inches from the entrance to the portal, white boots leaving imprints in the ashen snow below. "You'll want to thank Killer." The negative guardian turned to face him, "It was all his idea." The confession sparked another flash of fury in the soldier's eyes, and Cross was walking through the portal without so much as another sound. "What the actual fuck, Boss?" It was Killer's turn to dabble with anger, sheathing his knives harsher than necessary. "Are you fuckin' tryin' to get him pissed off at me? Seriously, what the hell is up with-"
Killer's sentence remained unfinished as a body slammed into him from behind.
Black and white engulfed him as Cross tackled his boyfriend in a hug, wrapping his arms around the fumbling form of Killer. The smaller skeleton was startled at first- a killer's instincts always assumed the worst -but the tension left his body as the familiar feel of a heavy jacket came into view. "Whoah there Criss-Cross, what the hell's got ya' so worked up?" Inky eyesockets fell half-lidded as Killer slipped his hands behind him to return the odd hold the two of them were locked in. "'M sorry for bein' an asshole earlier." Killer blinked mildly at the apology, "I love you." Cross' voice was muffled against the fur of his lover's jacket, and the subtle smile from Nightmare wasn't lost on his second-in command.
Oh, that sly son-of-a-bitch. Killer should have fucking known- nothing went under the radar when it came to the king.
"I admit, Boss." Abyssal eyesockets widened as the smaller burst into a grin, letting go of his hold on Cross in favor of lacing his fingers through the guard's. "Ya' had me fer a second." Nightmare merely hummed in amusement, brushing his darkened hands together to rid them of the monster dust that stuck fast to his frame. "Did I?" Mirth dripped from his syllables. "Yep." Killer popped the 'p' and tilted his skull to the side, pressing a gentle peck to the top of his partner's skull.
"Almost threw me fer a loop, you cheeky bastard."
Neither one of them had to look towards the portal to see the party that was set up just out of initial sight. Killer knew that everything he had strewn together was displayed loud and clear in their battered living room; lights hung up, decorations strung, gifts stacked haphazardly upon the counter, and cake set up on a table somewhere. He knew there was more he wouldn't recognize, too; that was the entire reason Nightmare had sent them out here in the first place. Kept the two of them busy so Horror and Dust and the guardian himself could have more time to add more things and get every detail set out perfectly.
"So, Crossy, are ya still pissed off at me?" Killer loosened Cross' arms enough to turn around and face him, noting that all that previous frustration no longer lurked within his asymmetrical eyelights. "...No." The guardsman replied, "Though that's mostly due to Boss." Nightmare remained quiet at the teasing jab, but the minute way his tentacles curled was all the proof the hate-tinged skeleton needed.
"'S it really that hard for ya to admit that 'm clever?" Killer spoke with mock hurt present in his voice despite the grin on his face. "Yes." Cross smoothly replied, "Since you're typically a dumbass."
"Ouch." Killer turned dramatically, flaunting a hand over his hovering SOUL. "You wound me, babe. Watch your words, 'm sensitive." Cross snorted at the blatant lie, rolling his eyelights in comforted exasperation. He was much happier now, reeling from the fact that those around him actually cared. "Sure, Kills. Let me know when you're no longer drowning in your own bullshit." There was an audible snicker from further away in the portal. Clearly Dust found the jab humorous enough to allow a rare laugh to sneak by.
"Whatever." The smaller nudged his boyfriend with no real malice."Now, let's get our asses in gear, boys." Killer clicked his tongue against his teeth and relaced his fingers through Cross' to tug his boyfriend along towards the portal. "We got ourselves some candles to blow out." The soldier beside him visibly brightened as the party drew nearer in view, and Killer hummed as pressed another soft kiss to the side of Cross' skull. "Happy Birthday, babe." He murmured, SOUL flickering faintly from knowing that the guard would have his party after all.
"I kept my promise."